“If you did not indulge in fantasies, how else would you know if you were living an interesting life?” ― Alethea Kontis, Enchanted
Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club. Our weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship.
Once again, before we get started, I would like to thank the female commenters who have recently joined us and to extend an invitation to all others who may be inclined to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We like having you around.
I hope you all had a good week. We’ve been, and still are, enjoying a week away from home. One could argue that, after retirement, every day is a vacation, but 2024 ended and 2025 began so badly for me, I’ve really been needing some separation from that unpleasant reality.
That’s not a bad transition to this week’s topic. I hadn’t intended to post this week, but there were some comments last week that led me to this topic, and it seemed like an easy one to do with fairly minimal effort on my part.
The topic is fantasies, particularly fantasies about DD and FLR. Doug kicked it off last week by recounting this recent fantasy:
“When we moved into our house, we were a young couple surrounded in the neighbourhood by retirees. We are now retirees surrounded by young couples and young families. So now I have a fantasy about my wife becoming the neighbourhood disciplinarian and all the young wives sending their husbands to have their bums paddled by my wife when they misbehave. I would love to be a witness to that, and maybe even to film it to document the punishments for the wives of the men being spanked.”
Alan replied with a fantasy of his own:
“On the topic of fantasies: One of mine is to be disciplined together with another male also under DD, with my wife spanking me and his wife speaking him, one after the other. In my most whole version of this fantasy, the spankings occur semi-regularly as a tool our wives use to incentivize our behavior. I think this is more about sharing the DD experience with another male. Usually, the thought of another male knowing my wife spanks me would not be something positive. It's actually embarrassing that my brother-in-law knows, AND that he has rejected spanking in his own relationship. But there would be no embarrassment in the presence of another male, also subject to his wife’s discipline. There may be some exhibitionism in the fantasy, too, since his wife would witness my spanking (but she would not spank me) as well as administer a spanking to her own husband. Interestingly, I have no fantasy of my wife spanking another man. Nor is being spanked by another woman very erotic in contemplation. Being sent to another woman or being spoken to by another woman at my wife’s direction would be erotic, however.
TG added a bit about one of his own fantasies:
My twist on this area of fantasy has always been watching my wife spanking another man (or possibly even just listening to it from outside the room) and knowing I’m next.
(Sorry, TG, couldn't find a good drawing with one man being spanked while another waited. The F/f will have to do.)
In writing this topic, it occurred to me that almost all DD relationships begin with a fantasy that is revealed to another person. Most of us came to these relationships with a fantasy of experiencing a real disciplinary spanking, and at some point we told a significant other about it, and that fantasy was then realized, at least to some degree.
For me, the period between
fantasy and reality was atypically short.
Unlike many here, I hadn’t even heard about, let alone fantasized about,
real adult disciplinary spankings until I was in my late 30s, when I discovered
the Disciplinary Wives Club. I immediately became obsessed; so much so that
within three days I felt compelled to tell my wife about it, and I received my
first adult spanking a day later.
Did it meet the fantasy I’d built up in my head based on the DWC stories? No. We
didn’t have a clue what we were doing. There was a fair amount of trial and
error before I received what I would consider a true DWC spanking. But, it wasn’t
all that long before the basic elements of my DWC-flavored fantasy had been
fulfilled. Of course, the reality was very different from the fantasy, for better or worse.
How have my fantasies evolved since experiencing the reality of a disciplinary spanking? Given the strong interest I’ve had in all things DD since discovering the DWC, it probably isn’t surprising that my fantasies have been plentiful. Perhaps also unsurprisingly for someone who reads as much as I do, many of mine are rooted in spanking stories.
At a very general level, I think/fantasize a lot about Anne deciding, without prompting from me, to take on a much more strict, maternal role. It's not a very detailed or vivid fantasy, but it involves her being much more controlling, stern, strict, and demanding. While there is a strong maternal vibe to her approach in my fantasies, it is definitely a very strict mom role. In my fantasies, a spanking from Anne reduces me to tears, but that has proven so challenging, I've stopped fantasizing about it as much as I once did.
As for more specific, vivid fantasies, a recurring element is being taken to a woodshed or barn and given a severe paddling or strapping, often by a male spanker.
One of the earliest I recall having was based on a story I read, but for the life of me I can’t remember where. I don’t remember all the plot details, but it involved a couple who owned a horse property. They were in some sort of relationship (I think there were cuckold themes involved) with a very dominant male. The wife was an aspiring dominant vis-à-vis the husband, but the other man was the true dominant among the three. The wife had asked the other male to punish the husband for something, but she kept ignoring his messages to set it up. He got pissed off about her lack of response, so he simply showed up at their house one evening. As luck would have it, they were hosting a small dinner party. The wife tried to put him off, out of earshot of the guests, but he was having none of it. He made it clear that he was going to take the husband out to their horse barn and spank him, and they could choose for it be done the easy way (by cooperating in making up some story for the husband to excuse himself from the party for a few minutes) or the hard way. They capitulated, with the husband telling the guests he needed to show the intrusive guest something in the barn that he was interested in buying. He very reluctantly accompanied the man to the barn, where he was commanded to take off his pants and bend over some hay bales. The dominant man took off his thick leather belt and delivered a “to tears” whipping before allowing the husband to gather himself and go back to the party.
I also was very into a story involving a bratty teenage son who was being raised by a single mother. He mistreated his mother and felt guilty about it. He had an uncle who lived on a farm a couple of hours away, and he knew from overhearing his cousins getting spanked that his uncle gave very hard disciplinary spankings. In the woodshed. He got up his courage and asked his mother to ask his uncle give him such a spanking. She set it up and drove him there to receive his spanking.
Unlike the first story, I know the source of this one. It’s entitled, “My Trip to the Woodshed” and the author’s name is Dave Christopher. It is available in full here. Here is an excerpt that covers most of what drove this story to spin off into many fantasies for me:
Uncle Leonard stood up. He nodded to me to follow and advised that I was to accompany him to the woodshed, suggesting that Aunt Jenny and mom take a comfortable seat on the back porch. The implication was obvious. He wanted them to hear the punishment administered, the woodshed being less that thirty feet from the porch. He paused to remove the formidable leather strap from behind the kitchen door, and motioned for me to precede him to the woodshed.
Slowly and reluctantly I walked to the woodshed, Uncle Leonard’s footsteps clearly falling behind me. As I opened the woodshed door I glanced back to see mom and Aunt Jenny taking their seats on the porch. Uncle Len followed me into the woodshed, surprisingly bright with the afternoon sun shining through the wide areas between the wood slats of the walls. I remembered how clearly Uncle Len’s strappings could be heard from the porch since the woodshed was far from soundproof. Uncle Len sat on a sturdy straight-back chair and pulled me to his side. He laid the strap across his lap and undid my trowsers, pulling them down to my knees. My underwear was quickly wisked down as well. Uncle Len then picked up the strap and turned me over his knees.
My bottom was jack-knifed over his right thigh with my toes touching the floor, and my head almost touching the floor on the other side. He grasped my right wrist and held it firmly in the small of my back, pushing down with his left hand and forearm to hold me in position.
Uncle Len advised me that he was about to teach me a lesson that I would not soon forget. As a matter of fact it was probably the first of many sessions with his strap if my behaviour didn’t improve dramatically. Because my first lesson was so very important he intended to make it it a particularly memorable one so it would be a deterrent and something to think about should I fail to respect and obey my mother in the future. I was squirming nervously as he made his comments and I could feel goose bumps on my bottom and thighs. He trailed the leather strap lightly across my bottom and thighs and suggested that I was probably planning to take my punishment quietly to show how tough I was but, unfortunately, he assured me, that would not happen. He suggested that I would be wise to just react naturally to the strapping as it was going to burn and sting very profoundly and trying to take it quietly would not work. I should just let myself go – cry, howl, screech, kick, jump – because "that is the reaction I want from the strap and that is what I want your mother to hear". Uncle Leonard added that he intended this to be a long and thorough strapping that I would feel for a few days and that my bottom and thighs would be very red and sore when he finished.”
That story presses a whole bunch of my fantasy buttons: The nervousness in traveling to a spanking you know is coming. (That happened very early on in our spanking relationship, when my wife ordered me to drive home from work at lunch for a spanking. The 20-minute drive felt more like two hours.) Being walked out to the place you will be spanked. The uncle's highly business-like approach, spelling out what is about to happen. Him emphasizing how bad it is going to be.
And, I have a HUGE thing for barns and woodsheds. Why? I’m not certain, as I’ve never actually been spanked in one. But, it may be that I grew up on farms and ranches, and one particular horse and hay barn became the location for some of my earliest Penthouse-aided (solo) sexual explorations. That may have eroticized barns for me, such that when the DWC came into my life, my psyche extended those early erotic experiences in the barn to my new spanking fantasies.
In my barn/woodshed fantasies
today, I tend to fantasize a scenario in which Anne has gotten close to another
couple, with a male who is either dominant or a switch. She decides that I need to be taught a lesson
regarding some repeated offense. She
tells me that we are going to the other couple’s house and that I will be
spanked - by the husband. I'm scared the entire trip to their house, and mortified when we get there and I have to face the man who I know is going to be spanking me in the very near future. After verifying with Anne that she wants him to give me a spanking I won't forget, he
takes me out to their woodshed or barn, while the two women sit on the deck and
listen to the whole thing. Again, it's a lot like the "My Trip to the Woodshed" story, but in an adult setting and with Anne instigating the whole thing.
Why the M/m fantasies? I suspect it relates to the whole “consent” thing we discussed two weeks ago. Getting spanked in a way that feels imposed, i.e. someone else has decreed it is going to happen whether I agree or not, is a huge part of my DD wiring. A male spanker, with the additional male aggressiveness and physical strength, enhances the feelings of inevitability and vulnerability. At least, I think that’s probably the impetus for my M/m fantasy attraction.
Other fantasies? I do fantasize about Anne sending me to another woman’s home to be spanked. Again, there is the agonizing drive over. The embarrassment of knocking at the door and telling the woman that I’m there for my spanking. In some fantasies, Anne is gone on a trip and has asked the other woman to keep an eye on me. I commit some offense, and Anne makes me call the other woman and tell her I need to be spanked. Somehow, for me making that call seems even more embarrassing and ego threatening than the spanking itself.
(I know I've used this same captioned photo recently, but it's the best I have for depictions of being sent to another woman to be spanked.)
Witnesses, or being spanked along with another man, as Alan described? Although those scenarios are something I think I would like to experience, it doesn’t rise to the level I think of as “fantasy.” It’s more like a personal growth goal; something that I think would be emotionally challenging and potentially life-changing in a good way, but it's not a scenario I spend a lot of time thinking about.
Anne spanking other men, as Doug and I discussed last week after he revealed his fantasy? It is something that I think would be hugely empowering for her, and I think that would be a major turn-on for me. But, it’s kind of like witnesses or being spanked along with someone else; I’m sure it would be a very interesting experience, but it’s not really the stuff of fantasies for me. And, while I would be very supportive of her spanking another man, I don’t have any particular desire to witness her doing it. I’m a pretty empathetic person, and I don’t know that I would actually like to see another man getting a hard disciplinary spanking. I think I might sympathize with him too much.
Of my prevalent spanking fantasies, are there any I would not want to experience in real life? Honestly, not really. I sometimes envy the guys here who have had experiences like being spanked in front of witnesses, and I definitely envy the stories I get from Aunt Kay's husband. In real life, we haven't been nearly as adventurous as some of you. But, it isn't really for lack of interest on my part. It's a result of being way too paranoid about confidentiality and anonymity in the early years, and now there hasn't been a real-life opportunity.
How far would Anne go in supporting making some of these fantasies a reality? Honestly, I don't know. She reads the blog, and I've told her about some dreams and fantasies. She doesn't seem judgmental and has never flat-out rejected anything I've brought up, but I've also never really pushed her to consider trying to bring any of my fantasies to fruition.
Maybe that's a mistake on my part. As discussed, most of our DD relationships begin with a fantasy revealed, but that revelation is probably most often accompanied by an actual request to explore it. When I brought the DWC website to her attention, although I had a hard time getting the words out, I certainly made it known that this is something I actually wanted to explore. And, I really had no idea how she would react, and it turned out to be positive. So, maybe it's a mistake on my part to assume she wouldn't give something a try if I pushed just a little. (Though, in many of these scenarios, there really does need to be the right opportunity.)
How about you? What are your most frequent DD or FLR fantasies? Are there any you wish would happen in real life? Are there any you definitely do not want to happen in real life?
I know this one could be embarrassing, but none of us know each other or our real identities. So, let’s all support each other in exploring something this personal. With that in mind, I will be quick to delete any judgmental comments.
Have a great week.
Again, I find myself in a bit of a different situation than many in an FLR. Most of the fantasies I have heard or or read about, I have lived out. During my former FLR, which was a marriage, I frequently experienced many of these scenarios. I have been brought to a disciplinarian for punishment. I have been spanked side by side with another male by both of our wives. I have had another wife punish me with a bare bottom spanking. My former even took me to a spanko group we were members of for a punishment. Stripped, bound and blindfolded for spanking by any group member wishing to do so. I guess i have seen or done most all spanking/punishment situations. Do I still have fantasies.... of course.
ReplyDeleteWow, Spanked Cowboy, you sure know how to make a guy jealous! But now I am curious. You have experienced in reality things that some of us have only dreamed about. But you still have fantasies. I would love to hear a fantasy from someone who has had such an adventurous spanko life.
DeleteDoug
My fantasy starts with my wife telling a close friend about our wife led marriage (not in a WLM at this time). Then at some time getting in trouble with my wife when we were with the friend and my wife choosing to spank me bare ass naked then and there, as our friend witnesses.
ReplyDeleteThat’s a great fantasy, Luvinhub. I have a similar fantasy that may or may not have a basis in reality. My wife’s closest friend Marianne is a woman she has known since they were in high school. Marianne and her husband live far away, so we don’t see them very often. But once a month my wife and Marianne talk on the phone for a couple of hours. I don’t know what they talk about because my wife goes into the bedroom for these phone calls, and I am not allowed to intrude on her privacy while she is on the phone. The fact that my wife demands privacy for these calls makes me suspect that they discuss intimate topics, such as their marital relationships. And if they discuss their marriages, I wonder whether Marianne knows everything about my sexual submissiveness and the way my wife disciplines me. Might my wife not have sought Marianne’s opinion about my kinks and received suggestions from her on how to deal with me and how to get benefits for herself from the power I had thrust upon her". I once asked my wife directly whether Marianne knew she spanked me, and my wife just laughed and said in a teasing way, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” That could imply that Marianne knows. Or maybe my wife was just teasing me, knowing that keeping me in the dark would excite me. The idea that Marianne may well know everything embarrasses me, but at the same time the fantasy of it turns me on. That’s why I say this fantasy might have some basis in reality.
DeleteDoug
For quite some time, I had wondered if my wife has ever told her sisters or female friends that she spanks me. Since Beth steadfastly denies that she would ever share that, I guess it falls into the category of fantasy for me. It did pique my interest when it became clear that the sisters had no qualms sharing little details from their sex lives. Beth says that the difference is that she would be too embarrassed for me, and herself, if they knew I was a submissive husband. Going a step further, I've told Beth that allowing her sisters to witness a spanking would make it that much more memorable and therefore effective. She didn't dignify that comment with a response and appeared put off that I would even suggest it.
ReplyDeleteSince none of this is going to happen in real life for me, I enjoy the numerous illustrations of females observing discipline and like to imagine the reaction if my wife did share that part of our marriage in conversation. Maybe after a few too many glasses of wine? I'm probably lucky that she's more discreet than me.
Kevin
This is quite the topic for the week. I’ve had a few fantasies. Who hasn’t in our type of relationships. The first scenario involves my wife’s best friend who lives across the country. She is the only one that knows about our DD. I have fantasized about visiting with them and I embarrass my wife, act like a jackass, cursing and yelling. My wife gets pissed and tells me to follow her into the other room. She tells her friend to come along. She humiliates and embarrasses me, strips me naked, soaps my mouth out and beats me till I’m a blubbering mess in front of her best friend. The whole time she is strapping me, she is humiliating me as a man. The dressing down I receive would be the worse ever. She then hands the strap to her best friend and says to her, “now the punishment begins”. Make sure to whip the tears out of him. Her friend then straps the hell out of me. I beg the friend to stop but she doesn’t and just keeps going. I watch my wife and the devious grin on her face. The look of complete satisfaction to the punishment I’m receiving. I’m then placed into the corner of the room for hours on display naked and alone. My wife’s friends husband in real life needs this type of punishment. I stated here before I overheard my wife say to her friend; I’d beat T if he ever did that. I’m sure her friend is intrigued. Oddly, I’ve never had any fantasies about my wife spanking another man, or me being spanked by another man. They don’t do it for me. When I have time, I will post the other one.
ReplyDeleteT
That is a compelling fantasy, T. I am intrigued by the sentence, “The whole time she is strapping me, she is humiliating me as a man.” I must confess, I am turned on by emasculating verbal humiliation. Is that the kind of thing you mean?
DeleteDoug
Yes more or less Doug, it is something that she is not comfortable doing or is part of her repertoire. She scolds for infractions but not to the level of my fantasies. Her demeaning my masculinity would contribute to that part of it. I have never met her childhood best friend, so the fantasies continue about what it would be like.
DeleteI was without a father from about 5 and my mother was persuaded that I would benefit from being educated in a strict Catholic school where despite my protests, I attended from 7 - 17 where the 'Christian' Brothers used the strap all day, every day it seemed, on the hands to punish and keep control. Although I was an introvert I was also a rebel with no respect for authority at home or at school. When I was about 12 and really starting to be challenging, my mother discussed these issues with the head brother during a review. I assume that she also mentioned that she never used corporal punishment. Not many days later I was singled out by the head for some minor misdemeanour (weren't they all?) and I ended up in his office getting the strap on my backside whilst across his knees. Almost unheard of to be punished that way and although the six strokes hurt a lot less than if I'd had them on my hands, it was a very awkward & embarrassing experience. Although I had no evidence I am convinced that that punishment was instigated by my mother…
ReplyDeleteThat kind of third party type discipline has been a strong fantasy for me almost ever since. For example I had a vivid dream some years ago, that my wife was incapacitated - hurt her arm or something. She asked a family member - one of my uncles, much older than me, to act as surrogate disciplinarian under her supervision. Unbeknownst to her, that person was often in our house when I was a youngster and often found opportunities to reprimand me verbally (very typical and acceptable behaviour for adults in our large family). So even though in my dream I was an adult, he still had that air of dominance. In my dream I was extremely nervous because I knew that he had wanted to punish me and he did, very severely with her watching and encouraging.
I have told my wife about this and surprisingly she seemed to quite like the idea … TB