Hi all. Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club. Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or want to be in, Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationships. I hope you had a great week.
Mine started great, was rough in the middle, but seems to be getting a little better at the end. The roughness in the middle was the result of my own bad behavior. After doing much better for awhile, I really let my temper get away with me at work, and I had a few other "issues." And, thanks to some work travel, our new self-reporting with report cards system fell apart. But, I am going to try to get back on it tomorrow, and given my bad behavior, a hard spanking is probably coming my way. The issue at work also illustrates for me the extent to which a spanking sometimes is the lesser punishment, as I know that what i really need to do is apologize for my behavior, yet because of some of the power relationships involved (it would involved apologizing to people up the chain, which is always harder for me), I am far, far more intimidated by the prospect of apologizing than at the prospect of being spanked.
There may be other things coming my way, too. During a discussion we had over dinner early in the week, my wife told me that she recently watched the second and third installments in the 50 Shades of Gray series. She said the experience left her very turned on, and that some of that centered on thoughts of how to dominate me harder and push me more into the role of a real submissive. She did not elaborate, but she certainly has my attention. It's also interesting to me that even though those movies are about M/f dominance, watching them did not seem to make her want to experience things from that angle. Quite the opposite. She clearly has a firmly established view of herself as the dominant party in this relationship, which was not the case when we started DD many years ago.
As I said last week, for various reasons, the DD and FLR aspects of our relationship have been on my mind a lot lately. Anna described it as seeing the hunger growing, both in my blog content and in answers to comments. It's probably true, though part of that may also be that I haven't been very good at coming up with topics lately, which kind of forces me to talk more about what's going on with me personally. And, I also do go through phases in which I do want to be more open, and this seems to be one of them.
So, openness will be the topic for this week. We've talked a few times about how open people are about the DD or FLR aspects of their relationship, and the short answer seems to be "not very." Most of us are firmly in the closet, and most of the comments suggest people want to stay there. Yet, in one of our recent polls, a very strong majority said they wanted their wives to be more openly dominant.
There seems to be some tension between those two. On the one hand, we don't want anyone to know that we are disciplined husbands or the second-in-command in an FLR family, yet we also want our wives to be more open about the fact that they are the leader. We find those outward expressions of control and confidence incredibly sexy, yet we also don't like the social ramifications of being seen as less manly by virtue of her being viewed as the one in control.
So, if you aren't comfortable with people knowing everything about your roles, just how far are you OK with her going in letting the world know she runs the house and is in charge? What form does that take? What is the furthest she has gone in being openly suggestive about that role in public?
For us, it was two Christmases and involved a very open comment about the possibility of spanking me. We had relatives over for a Christmas brunch. She had asked me to do something, and I responded with some joke about doing it herself. Having had two or three mimosas, she said loudly enough for everyone to hear, "I could do that. Or, I could just spank you." Now, I think everyone thought she was joking. But, you never know. Did it bother me? No, not at all. In fact, it really turned me on and obviously is still on my my mind months later. Honestly, I think right now I am more comfortable with others finding out about this thing we do than she is. Now, in the moment I would probably feel differently, but I do think the prospect of public consequences for public misbehavior needs to be one tool in her arsenal.
I hope you have a great week.