Saturday, April 25, 2020

No Post This Week

Hi all.  I'm not going to post this week.  Frankly, I'm pretty burned out on electronic connecting and just don't feel like coming up with a post.  Have a good week and stay healthy.

Saturday, April 18, 2020

The Club - Meeting 338 - Spanking Phrases

We are not won by arguments that we can analyse but by tone and temper, by the manner which is the man himself. - Samuel Butler

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline relationships.

I hope you all had a good week.  Week four of my lockdown. You’d think I’d be settling into this new routine, but I’m really not.  Instead, I’m getting downright stir crazy.  Really missing having coffee somewhere other than my house.

I’m finding myself frittering away more and more time, accomplishing less and less. That is something of an accomplishment in itself, given how little I was getting done even before having way too much time on my hands and no one around to observe how I’m using it.  And, all those Skype and Zoom calls have me wondering how many people are dressed appropriately only from the waist up.

Something that has not been happening is spanking or FLR.  That’s a little surprising, given that one would think that with this much “togetherness,” she’d be so good and frustrated that I’d be getting my ass warmed daily. Part of the explanation probably lies with just getting out of the habit.  But, another reason may be some mercy resulting from the back problems I was having. Thankfully, those seem to be mostly gone.  I’m not sure that I could take an extended session in a bent-over position, but perhaps some testing of the over-the-lap position with rapid-fire delivery that ZM brought up near the end of the week?

Thanks for weighing in on the issue of the relative merits of the OTK position.  I’m sorry it took me a while to get to some of your comments.  Unfortunately, I can’t really claim that was because I was busy.  As I just said, I wasn’t.  I’m finding as this slowdown goes on, even my usual diversions aren’t diverting enough to divert me from ever more worthless diversions, like getting into political fights on Facebook.  By the end of the week, I’d even burned myself out on that.  Thankfully, somehow a narrow topic like OTK ended up covering a lot of ground.  Outdoor spankings, witnessed spankings, nude spankings versus pants at the ankles, and lots more.  Thanks to all of you who weighed in and kept the discussion moving.

While any one of those non-OTK references could be a good topic, none of them really resonated with me today.  Instead, a short statement by Cecilia dovetailed with something I’d already been mulling.  Her comment was to the effect that she sometimes uses phrases like "a trip across my lap" when talking about disciplining her husband. Pete’s Wife said that she often tells her husband: “Pull down your pants and get over my knee."  Those are classic spanking phrases that can get a man’s attention in a hurry when used as a threat or a command.  I’ve been thinking a lot about commands lately, because we’ve been alone in the house for four weeks with a dog that is really in need of some training. He has problems with chewing on things, including people.  He’s gotten better with me, because I say “no” in a tone that gets his attention and lets him know I’m serious.  Anne tells him “no” too, but it often comes off more as a request or plea than a command.  Until the last day or two, when she finally started being very firm and commanding, and doing it consistently, he just plainly didn’t respect her or know that when she said “no” there were consequences.  

There are two parts to verbal communications: content and tone.  One could argue that Anne was not really training the dog until, eventually, his obstinance ended up training her.  At some point, she started giving directions that sounded like actual orders, not like requests.  As soon as she made that change, the dog started behaving better.  Both Danielle and Tomy discussed how coming into the room showing some real anger can be very effective in setting the tone.

Are there specific phrases that really get your attention and let you know that either you are going to get a spanking to remember if you don’t correct your behavior, or maybe it’s too late for that and a spanking is now an absolute certainty in your near future?  Perhaps you heard such phrases growing up? There are a few that I either did hear growing up or that for whatever reason really resonate with me when I hear or read them today.  They include:


“Not as sorry as you’re going to be.”

“I'll give you something to cry about.”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Not as sorry as you are going to be.”

“I am going to spank you so hard you won’t sit for a week.”

“You’re going to remember this spanking for a long time.”

When I think about the phrases that really get to me, or that I recall hearing directed at me or at friends by their parents, I notice that many of them have to do with threats (or promises) regarding severity or the effect on one’s bottom.  Express threat to leave one’s butt blistered, bruised, too sore to sit for a week . . . those can really give me butterflies if expressed with a tone that is resolute and commanding.

How about you? What phrases do you ladies use to let your husband know you mean business?  What phrases does she use that let you husbands know that you’re really in trouble this time?

I hope you all have a good week. Stay healthy!

Saturday, April 11, 2020

The Club - Meeting 337 - Over Her Knee

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline relationships.

Three weeks of lockdown.  How many to go?  Sigh.  Who knows.  I do know I am going good and stir crazy.  I’ve always thought of myself as an introvert, and I still know I am one.  But, this lockdown emphasizes that being an introvert is not the same as being a recluse.  I miss talking to someone over a cup of coffee in our kitchen area at work. I miss having lunches with people.  And, while I’ve had some virtual happy hours with team members and clients, it’s just not the same as having a live conversation over a couple of beers in one of our friendly neighborhood establishments.

On the other hand, I’m finding I don’t mind not dressing for work. Nor do I mind missing the daily commute to the office or, worse, driving to the airport, finding a parking space, dealing with security, walking through the terminal only to find out my flight is two hours late, etc.  Nope, not missing any of that a bit.

Anyway, since we're all probably good and sick of talking about all things COVID-19, let's move on to this week's topic.  Oftentimes, the discussion around one week’s topic leads to an idea for the next.  Unfortunately, not so last week.  I kind of knew going into it that it would be a topic that had little interest to most of those on the DD end of the spectrum and much, but probably much more for the borderline Femdom folks.  Which is a problem, because while I do introduce FLR themes, I really don't want this drifting off into the Femdom world with its "Mistress this" and "my Goddess that." It's just not who I am writing this blog for.  It also was a narrow topic, and those often aren’t great for generating broad enough discussion that a new topic presents itself in the natural course of a meandering but interesting conversation. 

So, this week’s topic is totally unrelated to the last one.  Instead, it’s something that has been on my mind for a lot recently.  And, I was surprised to find it is one that I’ve never done a full topic on.  The subject is the “over the knee” or OTK spanking position.

In preparing to write on a topics, I often start by trying to find quotes that relate to or allude to it, even if you have to squint a little to see the connection.  I didn’t have much luck with that this time. But, there certainly is no shortage of spanking art depicting that particular position; my challenge this week was picking among hundreds of examples in my collection.  It is really without question the iconic position for disciplinary spankings.   It is probably the one many of us associate with spankings some of you received as kids and with the whole maternal disciplinarian archetype that fascinates so many of us.

Our wives' (or the wives in our fantasies) spanking threats or pronouncements seem to often involve that one particular position. It is also part of our shared vocabulary, such that a spanking doesn't need to be expressly stated in order for pretty much everyone to understand the connotation. 

Yet, as much as I gravitate toward OTK images, and even though most of the stories on the DWC website that were my first real exposure to Domestic Discipline revolved around spankings delivered in the OTK position, I don’t have very much personal experience with them. I don’t have any real recollection of receiving a spanking over mom or dad’s knee as a kid, though I have to think I did at some point. As for adult spankings, our first few efforts at DD centered on OTK with a hairbrush because that is what we’d read about on the DWC website.  But we moved onto other positions and other implements pretty quickly, because OTK was just awkward and didn’t seem very effective.

Yet, recently, I find myself really wanting to give it another chance.  Maybe it is that I have been much more open the last year or so to the fact that the attraction to DD for me does have a pretty strong maternal vibe.

It also might be that I seem to be more focused these days on consistency and being humbled than on severity, perhaps because she has delivered very severe spankings for years, yet they don’t quite get the job done in terms of bringing about the sobbing, bawling, cathartic experience I’ve read about so many times.  Maybe a spanking that was longer and had that iconic  “maternal” vibe I associate with OTK would get me into an emotionally vulnerable place where the egoistic man finally caves and gets reduced to a sobbing and very sorry boy.

Do you regularly use the OTK spanking position?  I’m talking about for real discipline and not “funishment” or purely erotic spankings.  Do you find it effective?  Do you do it on a chair? A couch? Or, perhaps a bed?


Do you use a control position of some sort, like holding his arm behind his back or draping a leg over his?

What implements do you use?  I still find it hard to believe that anyone is giving or receiving much of a spanking with a hairbrush. A bath brush is a much more terrifying instrument, but is the handle too long for OTK?  

It seems like a paddle something like this could do the trick.

Tell us all about your OTK experiences or desires.  For the men, does it make you feel more vulnerable or embarrassed than in other positions?  When I think of being spanked in front of a witness, having it done OTK definitely makes the prospect seem much more embarrassing, though I’m not sure why.

For the ladies, do you enjoy OTK? Why or why not?  Does it have an especially maternal vibe?  Is that good or bad?  Does it feel like a more powerful or commanding position than others?  Can you deliver a really effective spanking in that position?  If so, any tips for others?

Have a great week.  Or, at least a not totally sucky one, under these conditions.