Saturday, September 28, 2013

The Forum: Question of the Week

Good morning.  I hope you all had a good week and are enjoying the start of the weekend.  

Here is this week's question:  If you could wave a magic wand and change one thing about your DD relationship, what would it be?  Is there something you would like your partner to do more?  Less?  Differently? Is there something you would like to do differently your self?

For us, this TTWD is always a work in progress.  The "one thing" I would change is the thing we are always working on in one way or another:  taking away my control and increasing hers.   That is really it.  I would like her to take more consistent control over me and exercise her authority more rigorously and consistently.  

As always, if you haven't done it before or have something new to say, please sign the Guestbook, below.


Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Artist Attribution

Hello everyone.  Just a short entry to give credit where credit is due.  I was contacted by the artist who did the drawing that appears with my profile.  Until that contact, I did not know the author's identity.  His name is KDPierre.  I really enjoy his work, including the one used on this blog.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

The Forum: Question of the Week #20

Hello all.  Welcome back.  Let's get right to the topic for this week:

Without naming names, if you could introduce one couple you know to DD, who would it be and why?

For me, I had a good friend and co-worker at my last job who had all the earmarks of a tightly wired executive: controlling, always afraid of failing, carrying too much stress, engaging in inappropriate outlets for that stress, etc.  He clearly needed someone to establish some boundaries and relieve him of some of his decision-making responsibilities.   At the same time, his wife was clearly frustrated by his behavior but was conditioned to see herself as just following along in his wake, unhappy with their marital and family dynamic, which was dominated by his work, but not seeing a way to change it.  They always seemed to me to be a couple for whom DD might be a game changing experience, precisely because it would move them in a direction opposite of their natural temperaments, with him learning to be less controlling and her finding her inner Dom.

Please give us your thoughts and, as always, don't forget to fill out the Guestbook if you have not done so.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Facilitating and Participating

This blog has been around for about six months now, which seems a bit unreal.  Where does the time go?  It is very much a work in progress, and I appreciate all thoughts and suggestions on how to improve it.  One of our Forum contributors, Gary, sent me an email suggesting that I might consider participating a bit more myself, instead of just tossing out questions for others to address.

It is a fair point.  My reticence about participating more myself was, in fact, a conscious choice.  I have seen too many promising blogs and moderated spanking groups degenerate into some kind of on-line advice manual in which a self-appointed expert tells everyone else how spanking or DD "should" or "must" be done.  That is the exact opposite of what I am aiming for here.  I really want to learn from others and get their perspectives.  Also, I have had other blogs and I eventually got tired of hearing myself talk, or I got concerned that I was revealing too much about myself and my activities and thereby risking some of the anonymity that blogging provides.

But, I also recognize that getting the ball rolling with some of my own thoughts or observations might encourage others to participate.  Also, there are times that I do feel the need to do a bit of my own sharing.  So, with thanks to Gary, I will try to starting throwing a few more of my own thoughts and experiences into the mix.

I will try to begin with this week's Forum topic, which revolves around trying to answer the question of why disciplinary spankings are, in fact, arousing.  I say I will "try," because one reason I raised this particular question is that I really am curious about this and do not have a clue why some of us find domestic discipline, particularly receiving the discipline, arousing.  As I have said in previous posts, I was not one of those people who had an interest in spanking going back to my teenage or early adult years.  I do not recall having any interest at all in spanking until I was in my '30s.  I was spanked from time to time as child, but I don't recall having any feelings about it at the time, other than a  desire to avoid it.

The first time I recall having any sexual feelings connected to spanking was when I saw an HBO "Real Sex" episode that focused on spanking and included a wife spanking her husband with a riding crop.   I went from no interest to BIG interest in an instant.  My wife thought it was weird, but she was game to try it.  We played a bit with it, but despite the reaction I had upon seeing it on television, the purely erotic form of spanking did not do much for me.  It was several months later that I found the Disciplinary Wives Club.  My reaction to it was even stronger, and much more complex, than my reaction to the "Real Sex" episode.  I was massively aroused by the fictional and "real people" accounts of disciplinary spankings, but the submission aspect of it also, frankly, terrified me.

Today, the level of pre-spanking arousal is still there.  Perhaps not quite as strong but still there.  Yet, I still really do not know why.   I do know that as time has gone by, I am more and more interested in exploring my submissive side.  Or, to be more precise, I am interested in developing a submissive side, since I am not a natural submissive and have a lot of anxiety around living under another person's direction and control.  But, as to the basic question of why I get aroused when I know that I am to go through a very painful disciplinary spanking, I really do not have any idea.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

The Forum - Question of the Week #19

Wow!  Great response to last week's question.  Either this blog is getting a little momentum and expanded readership, or something about that topic struck a note, or both.  In any event, I was surprised and delighted to see the number of responses.

This week's question extends from one of last week's comments.  Anonymous wrote:

"When I was 15 my older brother,who was 16, got caught by my dad smoking grass. It happened on a saturday night in our garage. My dad didn't do anything but told my brother that he would be punished severely until he had some sense knocked into him. He made my brother wait until the following friday after dinner.

As my younger brother and i had dessert my older brother and dad went downstairs in the basement to my dads workroom. Through the vents we could hear the swats of my dad's thick black belt landing on what we all knew was his bare bottom. Only when my brother was sobbing and begging to be forgiven and swearing he would never touch grass again did my dad stop.

A few minutes later Dad came up had his dessert and as Mom cleared the dishes my younger brother and I were brought down to the workroom where my brother bare assed was still bent over a work bench. His ass was raw. Dad told us to look and learn and we were then sent to our rooms. I don't know why but i was so aroused by it all."

 My question is, what IS the reason behind the arousal we get from spanking as a punishment, whether receiving it, giving it, or watching it?  Other than the nudity (and that is not a necessary component), there is nothing patently sexual about it.  Sex is one of the most pleasurable things we do as human beings.  Punishment is supposed to serve the exact opposite purpose.  So, why the arousal?"

Saturday, September 7, 2013

The Forum - Question of the Week

Welcome back everyone!  This week's question comes from one our anonymous commenters:

"I am always interested in when people became aware of their passion for spanking. For me I was quite young when I noticed that seeing someone being spanked or even being threatened to be spanked in movies or on TV excited me."

How about you?  How did you first become aware that you were interested in spanking and/or Domestic Discipline?  Did you discover it early or late in life?  Was there any particular event, or something you read or viewed, that started your journey down this path?

As always, if you haven't done so or if you have something to share, please take a moment to enter something in the Guestbook, below.