Friday, April 4, 2025

Meeting 514 - DD Spanking and FLR Fantasies

“If you did not indulge in fantasies, how else would you know if you were living an interesting life?” ― Alethea Kontis, Enchanted

Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club.  Our weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to thank the female commenters who have recently joined us and to extend an invitation to all others who may be inclined to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We like having you around.

 

I hope you all had a good week.  We’ve been, and still are, enjoying a week away from home.  One could argue that, after retirement, every day is a vacation, but 2024 ended and 2025 began so badly for me, I’ve really been needing some separation from that unpleasant reality.

 

That’s not a bad transition to this week’s topic.  I hadn’t intended to post this week, but there were some comments last week that led me to this topic, and it seemed like an easy one to do with fairly minimal effort on my part.

 

The topic is fantasies, particularly fantasies about DD and FLR.   Doug kicked it off last week by recounting this recent fantasy:

 

“When we moved into our house, we were a young couple surrounded in the neighbourhood by retirees. We are now retirees surrounded by young couples and young families. So now I have a fantasy about my wife becoming the neighbourhood disciplinarian and all the young wives sending their husbands to have their bums paddled by my wife when they misbehave. I would love to be a witness to that, and maybe even to film it to document the punishments for the wives of the men being spanked.”

 

 


 Alan replied with a fantasy of his own:

 

On the topic of fantasies: One of mine is to be disciplined together with another male also under DD, with my wife spanking me and his wife speaking him, one after the other. In my most whole version of this fantasy, the spankings occur semi-regularly as a tool our wives use to incentivize our behavior. I think this is more about sharing the DD experience with another male. Usually, the thought of another male knowing my wife spanks me would not be something positive. It's actually embarrassing that my brother-in-law knows, AND that he has rejected spanking in his own relationship. But there would be no embarrassment in the presence of another male, also subject to his wife’s discipline. There may be some exhibitionism in the fantasy, too, since his wife would witness my spanking (but she would not spank me) as well as administer a spanking to her own husband. Interestingly, I have no fantasy of my wife spanking another man. Nor is being spanked by another woman very erotic in contemplation. Being sent to another woman or being spoken to by another woman at my wife’s direction would be erotic, however.

 

TG added a bit about one of his own fantasies:

 

My twist on this area of fantasy has always been watching my wife spanking another man (or possibly even just listening to it from outside the room) and knowing I’m next.

 


(Sorry, TG, couldn't find a good drawing with one man being spanked while another waited. The F/f will have to do.)

 

In writing this topic, it occurred to me that almost all DD relationships begin with a fantasy that is revealed to another person.  Most of us came to these relationships with a fantasy of experiencing a real disciplinary spanking, and at some point we told a significant other about it, and that fantasy was then realized, at least to some degree.

 

 

For me, the period between fantasy and reality was atypically short.  Unlike many here, I hadn’t even heard about, let alone fantasized about, real adult disciplinary spankings until I was in my late 30s, when I discovered the Disciplinary Wives Club. I immediately became obsessed; so much so that within three days I felt compelled to tell my wife about it, and I received my first adult spanking a day later.

Did it meet the fantasy I’d built up in my head based on the DWC stories?  No.  We didn’t have a clue what we were doing. There was a fair amount of trial and error before I received what I would consider a true DWC spanking. But, it wasn’t all that long before the basic elements of my DWC-flavored fantasy had been fulfilled.  Of course, the reality was very different from the fantasy, for better or worse.



How have my fantasies evolved since experiencing the reality of a disciplinary spanking? Given the strong interest I’ve had in all things DD since discovering the DWC, it probably isn’t surprising that my fantasies have been plentiful.  Perhaps also unsurprisingly for someone who reads as much as I do, many of mine are rooted in spanking stories.

 

 

At a very general level, I think/fantasize a lot about Anne deciding, without prompting from me, to take on a much more strict, maternal role.  It's not a very detailed or vivid fantasy, but it involves her being much more controlling, stern, strict, and demanding. While there is a strong maternal vibe to her approach in my fantasies, it is definitely a very strict mom role.  In my fantasies, a spanking from Anne reduces me to tears, but that has proven so challenging, I've stopped fantasizing about it as much as I once did.

 

As for more specific, vivid fantasies, a recurring element is being taken to a woodshed or barn and given a severe paddling or strapping, often by a male spanker.

 

One of the earliest I recall having was based on a story I read, but for the life of me I can’t remember where. I don’t remember all the plot details, but it involved a couple who owned a horse property.  They were in some sort of relationship (I think there were cuckold themes involved) with a very dominant male. The wife was an aspiring dominant vis-à-vis the husband, but the other man was the true dominant among the three. The wife had asked the other male to punish the husband for something, but she kept ignoring his messages to set it up. He got pissed off about her lack of response, so he simply showed up at their house one evening.  As luck would have it, they were hosting a small dinner party.  The wife tried to put him off, out of earshot of the guests, but he was having none of it.  He made it clear that he was going to take the husband out to their horse barn and spank him, and they could choose for it be done the easy way (by cooperating in making up some story for the husband to excuse himself from the party for a few minutes) or the hard way. They capitulated, with the husband telling the guests he needed to show the intrusive guest something in the barn that he was interested in buying.  He very reluctantly accompanied the man to the barn, where he was commanded to take off his pants and bend over some hay bales.  The dominant man took off his thick leather belt and delivered a “to tears” whipping before allowing the husband to gather himself and go back to the party.

 

I also was very into a story involving a bratty teenage son who was being raised by a single mother.  He mistreated his mother and felt guilty about it.  He had an uncle who lived on a farm a couple of hours away, and he knew from overhearing his cousins getting spanked that his uncle gave very hard disciplinary spankings.  In the woodshed. He got up his courage and asked his mother to ask his uncle give him such a spanking.  She set it up and drove him there to receive his spanking. 

 

Unlike the first story, I know the source of this one.  It’s entitled, “My Trip to the Woodshed” and the author’s name is Dave Christopher.  It is available in full here. Here is an excerpt that covers most of what drove this story to spin off into many fantasies for me:

 

Uncle Leonard stood up. He nodded to me to follow and advised that I was to accompany him to the woodshed, suggesting that Aunt Jenny and mom take a comfortable seat on the back porch. The implication was obvious. He wanted them to hear the punishment administered, the woodshed being less that thirty feet from the porch. He paused to remove the formidable leather strap from behind the kitchen door, and motioned for me to precede him to the woodshed.

 

Slowly and reluctantly I walked to the woodshed, Uncle Leonard’s footsteps clearly falling behind me. As I opened the woodshed door I glanced back to see mom and Aunt Jenny taking their seats on the porch. Uncle Len followed me into the woodshed, surprisingly bright with the afternoon sun shining through the wide areas between the wood slats of the walls. I remembered how clearly Uncle Len’s strappings could be heard from the porch since the woodshed was far from soundproof. Uncle Len sat on a sturdy straight-back chair and pulled me to his side. He laid the strap across his lap and undid my trowsers, pulling them down to my knees. My underwear was quickly wisked down as well. Uncle Len then picked up the strap and turned me over his knees.

 

My bottom was jack-knifed over his right thigh with my toes touching the floor, and my head almost touching the floor on the other side. He grasped my right wrist and held it firmly in the small of my back, pushing down with his left hand and forearm to hold me in position.

 

Uncle Len advised me that he was about to teach me a lesson that I would not soon forget. As a matter of fact it was probably the first of many sessions with his strap if my behaviour didn’t improve dramatically. Because my first lesson was so very important he intended to make it it a particularly memorable one so it would be a deterrent and something to think about should I fail to respect and obey my mother in the future. I was squirming nervously as he made his comments and I could feel goose bumps on my bottom and thighs. He trailed the leather strap lightly across my bottom and thighs and suggested that I was probably planning to take my punishment quietly to show how tough I was but, unfortunately, he assured me, that would not happen. He suggested that I would be wise to just react naturally to the strapping as it was going to burn and sting very profoundly and trying to take it quietly would not work. I should just let myself go – cry, howl, screech, kick, jump – because "that is the reaction I want from the strap and that is what I want your mother to hear". Uncle Leonard added that he intended this to be a long and thorough strapping that I would feel for a few days and that my bottom and thighs would be very red and sore when he finished.”

 

That story presses a whole bunch of my fantasy buttons: The nervousness in traveling to a spanking you know is coming. (That happened very early on in our spanking relationship, when my wife ordered me to drive home from work at lunch for a spanking. The 20-minute drive felt more like two hours.)  Being walked out to the place you will be spanked.  The uncle's highly business-like approach, spelling out what is about to happen.  Him emphasizing how bad it is going to be.

 

And, I have a HUGE thing for barns and woodsheds.  Why?  I’m not certain, as I’ve never actually been spanked in one.  But, it may be that I grew up on farms and ranches, and one particular horse and hay barn became the location for some of my earliest Penthouse-aided (solo) sexual explorations. That may have eroticized barns for me, such that when the DWC came into my life, my psyche extended those early erotic experiences in the barn to my new spanking fantasies.

 

 

In my barn/woodshed fantasies today, I tend to fantasize a scenario in which Anne has gotten close to another couple, with a male who is either dominant or a switch.  She decides that I need to be taught a lesson regarding some repeated offense.  She tells me that we are going to the other couple’s house and that I will be spanked - by the husband.  I'm scared the entire trip to their house, and mortified when we get there and I have to face the man who I know is going to be spanking me in the very near future.  After verifying with Anne that she wants him to give me a spanking I won't forget, he takes me out to their woodshed or barn, while the two women sit on the deck and listen to the whole thing.  Again, it's a lot like the "My Trip to the Woodshed" story, but in an adult setting and with Anne instigating the whole thing.

 

Why the M/m fantasies? I suspect it relates to the whole “consent” thing we discussed two weeks ago.  Getting spanked in a way that feels imposed, i.e. someone else has decreed it is going to happen whether I agree or not, is a huge part of my DD wiring. A male spanker, with the additional male aggressiveness and physical strength, enhances the feelings of inevitability and vulnerability. At least, I think that’s probably the impetus for my M/m fantasy attraction.

 

Other fantasies?  I do fantasize about Anne sending me to another woman’s home to be spanked.  Again, there is the agonizing drive over.  The embarrassment of knocking at the door and telling the woman that I’m there for my spanking.  In some fantasies, Anne is gone on a trip and has asked the other woman to keep an eye on me. I commit some offense, and Anne makes me call the other woman and tell her I need to be spanked.  Somehow, for me making that call seems even more embarrassing and ego threatening than the spanking itself.

 

 

(I know I've used this same captioned photo recently, but it's the best I have for depictions of being sent to another woman to be spanked.)
 

Witnesses, or being spanked along with another man, as Alan described?  Although those scenarios are something I think I would like to experience, it doesn’t rise to the level I think of as “fantasy.” It’s more like a personal growth goal; something that I think would be emotionally challenging and potentially life-changing in a good way, but it's not a scenario I spend a lot of time thinking about.

 

Anne spanking other men, as Doug and I discussed last week after he revealed his fantasy? It is something that I think would be hugely empowering for her, and I think that would be a major turn-on for me. But, it’s kind of like witnesses or being spanked along with someone else; I’m sure it would be a very interesting experience, but it’s not really the stuff of fantasies for me. And, while I would be very supportive of her spanking another man, I don’t have any particular desire to witness her doing it. I’m a pretty empathetic person, and I don’t know that I would actually like to see another man getting a hard disciplinary spanking. I think I might sympathize with him too much.

 

Of my prevalent spanking fantasies, are there any I would not want to experience in real life? Honestly, not really.  I sometimes envy the guys here who have had experiences like being spanked in front of witnesses, and I definitely envy the stories I get from Aunt Kay's husband. In real life, we haven't been nearly as adventurous as some of you. But, it isn't really for lack of interest on my part.  It's a result of being way too paranoid about confidentiality and anonymity in the early years, and now there hasn't been a real-life opportunity.


How far would Anne go in supporting making some of these fantasies a reality? Honestly, I don't know.  She reads the blog, and I've told her about some dreams and fantasies.  She doesn't seem judgmental and has never flat-out rejected anything I've brought up, but I've also never really pushed her to consider trying to bring any of my fantasies to fruition.  

 

 

Maybe that's a mistake on my part. As discussed, most of our DD relationships begin with a fantasy revealed, but that revelation is probably most often accompanied by an actual request to explore it. When I brought the DWC website to her attention, although I had a hard time getting the words out, I certainly made it known that this is something I actually wanted to explore.  And, I really had no idea how she would react, and it turned out to be positive.  So, maybe it's a mistake on my part to assume she wouldn't give something a try if I pushed just a little. (Though, in many of these scenarios, there really does need to be the right opportunity.)

 

How about you? What are your most frequent DD or FLR fantasies?  Are there any you wish would happen in real life? Are there any you definitely do not want to happen in real life? 

 

I know this one could be embarrassing, but none of us know each other or our real identities. So, let’s all support each other in exploring something this personal. With that in mind, I will be quick to delete any judgmental comments.

 

Have a great week.

162 comments:

  1. Again, I find myself in a bit of a different situation than many in an FLR. Most of the fantasies I have heard or or read about, I have lived out. During my former FLR, which was a marriage, I frequently experienced many of these scenarios. I have been brought to a disciplinarian for punishment. I have been spanked side by side with another male by both of our wives. I have had another wife punish me with a bare bottom spanking. My former even took me to a spanko group we were members of for a punishment. Stripped, bound and blindfolded for spanking by any group member wishing to do so. I guess i have seen or done most all spanking/punishment situations. Do I still have fantasies.... of course.

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    1. Wow, Spanked Cowboy, you sure know how to make a guy jealous! But now I am curious. You have experienced in reality things that some of us have only dreamed about. But you still have fantasies. I would love to hear a fantasy from someone who has had such an adventurous spanko life.
      Doug

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    2. Doug. A fantasy of mine comes from a discussion with a group of spankos at an event. Ii was about life in a community where the municipality or judge could offer a choice of punishment for minor offenses, like traffic infractions or misdemeanors. For example, a speeding ticket offense choice could be the traditional fine with license marks or a public spanking delivered at a specific place and time, in view of the public, by a trained disciplinarian. The judge could sentence the number of strokes much like the amount of a monetary fine. I think I would like life in a community lit that.

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    3. Thanks for sharing that , Spanked Cowboy. I would bet that most of us have fantasized about public judicial spankings. Can you imagine how respectful people would be of judges who could decide whether to fine you or have you spanked? I can imagine that public spankings could revive the flagging fortunes of small local newspapers if they published the spanking sentences a few days in advance. Everyone would get the local paper to see whether anyone they knew was scheduled to be spanked, and when your own date with the judicial paddle appeared in the paper, you could imagine people you know making plans to be there, especially people who might have some axe to grind with you and would like to be there to gloat.
      Doug

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    4. I grew up in a small town where the local paper published a "Police Blotter" column listing all the tickets given out. It made for some difficult conversations with my parents when they spotted my name in there a few times re: infractions I'd "forgotten" to tell them about.

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  2. My fantasy starts with my wife telling a close friend about our wife led marriage (not in a WLM at this time). Then at some time getting in trouble with my wife when we were with the friend and my wife choosing to spank me bare ass naked then and there, as our friend witnesses.

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    1. That’s a great fantasy, Luvinhub. I have a similar fantasy that may or may not have a basis in reality. My wife’s closest friend Marianne is a woman she has known since they were in high school. Marianne and her husband live far away, so we don’t see them very often. But once a month my wife and Marianne talk on the phone for a couple of hours. I don’t know what they talk about because my wife goes into the bedroom for these phone calls, and I am not allowed to intrude on her privacy while she is on the phone. The fact that my wife demands privacy for these calls makes me suspect that they discuss intimate topics, such as their marital relationships. And if they discuss their marriages, I wonder whether Marianne knows everything about my sexual submissiveness and the way my wife disciplines me. Might my wife not have sought Marianne’s opinion about my kinks and received suggestions from her on how to deal with me and how to get benefits for herself from the power I had thrust upon her". I once asked my wife directly whether Marianne knew she spanked me, and my wife just laughed and said in a teasing way, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” That could imply that Marianne knows. Or maybe my wife was just teasing me, knowing that keeping me in the dark would excite me. The idea that Marianne may well know everything embarrasses me, but at the same time the fantasy of it turns me on. That’s why I say this fantasy might have some basis in reality.
      Doug

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    2. It's funny, but the only time I've worked with someone who I thought showed signs of being in a F/m DD relationship was a younger associate at my firm whose name was Marianne.

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    3. LovinHub, One of our mutual friends does know about our DD lifestyle. So, if something like that were to happen, it probably would be in front of her. But, still very unlikely.

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    4. Doug that is so scary and very hot at the same time. When we were in our WLM it was a fantasy/hope to be brought out before a friend or coworker of hers. We did enter the local scene just before covid hit so there were some who knew but with covid we never got the chance to really get close to anyone. I felt proud to be my wife's submissive but embarrassed if anyone would find out that she spanked me.

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  3. For quite some time, I had wondered if my wife has ever told her sisters or female friends that she spanks me. Since Beth steadfastly denies that she would ever share that, I guess it falls into the category of fantasy for me. It did pique my interest when it became clear that the sisters had no qualms sharing little details from their sex lives. Beth says that the difference is that she would be too embarrassed for me, and herself, if they knew I was a submissive husband. Going a step further, I've told Beth that allowing her sisters to witness a spanking would make it that much more memorable and therefore effective. She didn't dignify that comment with a response and appeared put off that I would even suggest it.

    Since none of this is going to happen in real life for me, I enjoy the numerous illustrations of females observing discipline and like to imagine the reaction if my wife did share that part of our marriage in conversation. Maybe after a few too many glasses of wine? I'm probably lucky that she's more discreet than me.

    Kevin

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    1. My wife had similar qualms about letting our now adult kids have any indication about that side of our relationship. She thought it might cause them to have less respect for me. She's was far more concerned about it than I was.

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  4. This is quite the topic for the week. I’ve had a few fantasies. Who hasn’t in our type of relationships. The first scenario involves my wife’s best friend who lives across the country. She is the only one that knows about our DD. I have fantasized about visiting with them and I embarrass my wife, act like a jackass, cursing and yelling. My wife gets pissed and tells me to follow her into the other room. She tells her friend to come along. She humiliates and embarrasses me, strips me naked, soaps my mouth out and beats me till I’m a blubbering mess in front of her best friend. The whole time she is strapping me, she is humiliating me as a man. The dressing down I receive would be the worse ever. She then hands the strap to her best friend and says to her, “now the punishment begins”. Make sure to whip the tears out of him. Her friend then straps the hell out of me. I beg the friend to stop but she doesn’t and just keeps going. I watch my wife and the devious grin on her face. The look of complete satisfaction to the punishment I’m receiving. I’m then placed into the corner of the room for hours on display naked and alone. My wife’s friends husband in real life needs this type of punishment. I stated here before I overheard my wife say to her friend; I’d beat T if he ever did that. I’m sure her friend is intrigued. Oddly, I’ve never had any fantasies about my wife spanking another man, or me being spanked by another man. They don’t do it for me. When I have time, I will post the other one.
    T

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    1. That is a compelling fantasy, T. I am intrigued by the sentence, “The whole time she is strapping me, she is humiliating me as a man.” I must confess, I am turned on by emasculating verbal humiliation. Is that the kind of thing you mean?
      Doug

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    2. Yes more or less Doug, it is something that she is not comfortable doing or is part of her repertoire. She scolds for infractions but not to the level of my fantasies. Her demeaning my masculinity would contribute to that part of it. I have never met her childhood best friend, so the fantasies continue about what it would be like.

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    3. There are times when one line of a story really resonates with me. "Make sure to whip the tears out of him," counts as one of those. As everyone who has been here a while knows, tears are "a thing" for me. But, doubly so is anything involving the woman's conscious determination to bring tears about.

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  5. I was without a father from about 5 and my mother was persuaded that I would benefit from being educated in a strict Catholic school where despite my protests, I attended from 7 - 17 where the 'Christian' Brothers used the strap all day, every day it seemed, on the hands to punish and keep control. Although I was an introvert I was also a rebel with no respect for authority at home or at school. When I was about 12 and really starting to be challenging, my mother discussed these issues with the head brother during a review. I assume that she also mentioned that she never used corporal punishment. Not many days later I was singled out by the head for some minor misdemeanour (weren't they all?) and I ended up in his office getting the strap on my backside whilst across his knees. Almost unheard of to be punished that way and although the six strokes hurt a lot less than if I'd had them on my hands, it was a very awkward & embarrassing experience. Although I had no evidence I am convinced that that punishment was instigated by my mother…

    That kind of third party type discipline has been a strong fantasy for me almost ever since. For example I had a vivid dream some years ago, that my wife was incapacitated - hurt her arm or something. She asked a family member - one of my uncles, much older than me, to act as surrogate disciplinarian under her supervision. Unbeknownst to her, that person was often in our house when I was a youngster and often found opportunities to reprimand me verbally (very typical and acceptable behaviour for adults in our large family). So even though in my dream I was an adult, he still had that air of dominance. In my dream I was extremely nervous because I knew that he had wanted to punish me and he did, very severely with her watching and encouraging.

    I have told my wife about this and surprisingly she seemed to quite like the idea … TB

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    1. You've talked before about that unexpected OTK strapping, but I think this is the first time you've talked about your mother's potential involvement in bringing it about. I can see how that could lead to a fascination with third-party discipline instigated by a relative.

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  6. This is out there, but my current fantasy is about a nail salon called Nails & Tails. For those getting their nails done, it is a luxurious mani/pedi session with Champagne and shoulder massage. For those getting their tails done, it is humiliating session starting with being made to disrobe upon entry and then having your ass beaten and made to stand in humiliating poses in front of all the nails patrons.
    - 3pops

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    1. Nails and tails . . . I so love that. I don't doubt at all that somewhere in the world there is something exactly like that.

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    2. 3pops, I like the way you think!

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  7. Laura, the hygienist at my dentist, is a much younger and very attractive woman. My fantasy would involve my car being in the shop, so my wife would need to pick my up after a dental cleaning appointment. She would engage Laura in some friendly conversation as I was at reception paying the bill. She would ask Laura how it went, and Laura would mention that I had been really lax in my homework and required much more consistent flossing and brushing. “If he were a teenager he’d need a good spanking to shape up” she laughs. “It’s a pity that’s not part of your full-service program” my wife replies. Laura turns to whisper in her ear “That can be arranged….call me”. She writes he phone number on the back of a card.

    And in this fantasy, my wife actually calls her.

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    1. One suspects a dental hygienist would be very comfortable with a role involving inflicting pain.

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  8. Being old and widowed at this point it is all fantasy, if you know what I mean. So in a fantasy I need to both get a spanker and a reason for her to offer me a beating. Every few months I go to a Amish restaurant in Ohio where I find myself admiring the waitresses with farm girl strong arms in what would have been nurses uniforms 30, (40?) years ago. To set up a scenario, I imagine causing a waitress to drop her tray of dishes thorough my clumsiness. While I apologize, I overhear the tail end of her get reamed out my the kitchen help and her comment after to some of the other staff, that she wishes she could take the man that caused all this trouble to HER woodshed. I'm on my way to the salad bar when I catch this, and see her looking out of the corridor to the kitchen and turn very red a a little turned on when she spies me.

    No more is said when served the dinner although there is a bit of tension throughout. When she brings the bill, but I order a piece of pie to go, and apologize again and offer her a chance to make good on her threat if she wants to. She looks funny and goes away to get my pie without another word.

    She comes back with the pie, the new bill, and a short folded over note, stating that I should be waiting by the associated hotel back exit at eight when she gets off, then follow her home where she will ensure that I will have to stand up to eat the piece of pie.

    I do that and find that she has a barn on the farm where she lives alone, (having lost her parents in an accident). In that barn she has plenty of rope, paddles, and leather straps with which she makes good on her promise. She enjoys herself so much, before and after, that she take me on as her farmhand/submissive.

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    1. From what I've read, the Amish are pretty pro-corporal punishment, and they certainly are into woodsheds and barns.

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    2. That’s a great fantasy, Tom. There’s something about farm girls and barns!
      I am getting on in years myself, and sometimes I feel that I shouldn’t fantasize as much as I do at my age (about to turn 70). It’s nice to know that I am not the only “old guy” with fantasies about being spanked like a naughty boy.
      Doug

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    3. Doug, you should see the Netflix Comedy special I work on in my mind, titled: "Old age. it's not for Amateur's". Enlarged prostates and ED, takes a lot of fun out of life. With my wife gone and what Covid-19 did to the kink community, little is left for except fantasy.

      The playing with AI that this discussion engendered has consumed a far amount of time over the last few days. I've gotten Gemini to extend a few of mine and format them as audio plays. Now I'm playing with Microsoft's ClipChamp video app
      to do the voice acting, hoping to add in some sound effect too!
      Tom

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  9. I’m surprised to hear your being spanked by a man fantasy.

    For a very long time I was slightly repulsed by the idea. Over time I have changed. At one point several years ago I just couldn’t find a woman to spank me. I ended up doing one with a guy I met online. It wasn’t as bad as I had pictured. He knew I was straight and only looking for a spanking.

    I have seen a second guy that I got to every now and then for correction. I would certainly prefer a DD type relationship, but when it comes to either paying someone or getting spanked by a guy…the guy seems to better.

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    1. To me, the issue wouldn't be paying someone vs. spanked by a guy. The choice would hinge on which seemed the most like a real DD-type punishment session. For me, the issue with the pro wouldn't be paying for it but, rather, would paying for it make it seem less real. But, someone I met online and got a spanking from just to get a spanking would have that same problem. If the real discipline element is missing, any scenario---male or female--isn't going to do much for me.

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    2. This is not one of my fantasies. However I’ve said before that the only authority I recognize is my wife and if she chose to put me over someone else’s lap for a spanking, I’d still see that as obeying her, and the actual spanker as being her implement. I suppose in the unlikely event that that were a man rather than a woman, I’d still do as I was told. TG

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    3. In coming to terms with my spanko tendencies, I join a kind of co-op dungeon in Akron, (the Purple Rose). One play night event involved the loan of some metal spanking benches which some of us "bottoms" offer up our butts for some "tops" to punish, there was a mix of sexes on both sides, with the tops doing a couple of rotations, after taking a paddling for a male Dom, I beg off his second rotation just because it did not do anything for me. Just seemed to need a women in charge.

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    4. Dan, I am not into M/m fantasies and art at all, but to my surprise I find that story about the guy being pulled out of the dinner with another couple and taken to the barn to be spanked by another man exciting. I am trying to figure out why it is so hot. I think it is essential that the guy’s wife is involved at least indirectly. That gives the M/m scenario an F/m overlay. I think I am turned on by spanking stories that involve forced submission to a rival, and because of the natural sexual rivalry between men, the idea of being forced by my wife to submit to another man really pushes that button. I can’t help thinking that the scenario has an Oedipal vibe too. That may be because of my own background. If there is something “maternal” about a wife spanking her husband, involving a male disciplinarian is like injecting a father figure into the dynamic. I can’t help recalling that I was spanked mostly by my mother until I was about 8 years old, but after that point it was always “wait until your father gets home.” Even the interrupted dinner motif has a biographical resonance for me. I remember at least one occasion where my mother told my father that I needed to be spanked just as we were sitting down to dinner and my father taking off his belt to deal with me right away. On that occasion I made a mad dash for my room to prevent my father from strapping me right there in the kitchen in front of my sisters. But even though my sisters didn’t see my punishment on that occasion, it felt humiliating to have to return to the dinner table with a tear streaked face and everyone knowing what had happened offstage. In the story you mention, the other couple don’t know what is happening in the barn. But I imagine there being signs that there was a D/s dynamic to the other man’s intrusion on their dinner: the dominant demeanour of the other man, and telltale signs (blushing, nervousness) as the husband and wife are acquiescing to the other man’s command. A feeling that the improvised excuse of a sales transaction is hiding something. I imagine the husband having to return to the dinner with his face flushed from a harsh punishment, and the husband and wife trying unconvincingly to look like they don’t feel embarrassed about whatever just happened in the barn while the wife tried awkwardly to make small talk with the other couple. In my extension of that fantasy, the other couple are going to have a conversation on the drive home about what they witnessed. Stuff like, “Did you notice how uncomfortable John looked while that guy was talking to Mary in an angry voice at the back door? Or how distracted and nervous Mary looked while John was in the barn with that other guy, and how she looked like she was uncomfortable about her explanation? And the sheepish look on John’s face when he came back? And did you notice how flushed his face was? Okay, this is crazy, but you don’t suppose that…?” (I invented the names Mary and John to make the narrative less awkward). If Mary and the other woman are close friends, I can imagine her calling Mary the next day and saying, “Thanks for the great dinner last night, but now you have to tell me what was really going on with that guy who insisted that John go out to the barn with him. Your story didn’t ring true. I sensed there was something sexy and exciting going on between you and John and that other guy. So come on, girlfriend, spill the beans.”
      The fantasy gets better the more you think about it.
      Doug

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    5. For me, being spanked by a male would be pure punishment because there is no other reason my wife would do it. She has brought it up, more as a teasing threat than a serious warning. But if she ordered it, I would obey her as some others have expressed. But I would expect it to resemble being spanked after orgasm. There would be no eroticism, no emotional catharsis, no increased intimacy with her and no fond memories of it afterward. If spanking is severed from eroticism, it is simply punishment, perhaps useful at times but not the basis for a successful long term DD relationship.
      Alan

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    6. Doug, I think for me the "hotness" of the story isn't really about M/m dynamics, but about "real" dominance and authority. In the story, not much was revealed about the husband's personality. He wasn't described as a wimp, but I pictured him as kind of a preppy, slightly effete, maybe even slightly arrogant but of the unearned variety. Basically, the kind of guy you find in Ivy League and professional circles all the time -- relatively strong opinions of themselves but not a lot backing it up. The other male, however, was clearly brimming with testosterone. The kind of guy who would probably kick hubbies ass in a bar fight, if hubby would ever let himself get into one, which he wouldn't. I think that dynamic of one man having the ability to physically enforce his will over another is hot to me, not because it's man-on-man but because the difference in physical prowess makes the imposition of the discipline more real. I also have a big thing for feeling that a punishment is inevitable and that I couldn't resist even if I wanted to. We've talked a lot her recently about how discipline from our wives can become psychologically impossible to resist, but that's not quite the same level of intensity of a true physical inability to resist.

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    7. Alan, I really don't have a clue how I would react to it if it were to ever happen. I suspect that *any* third-party spanking situation would not have the kind of erotic energy I experience with my wife in that role, but I really have no way of knowing.

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    8. Dan, being spanked by a person who doesn’t need your consent because they are physically stronger is hot for me too. I sometimes fantasize about an FLR based on the woman’s superior size and physical strength. Like maybe the guy is the effete, preppy type you imagined, and the woman was captain of the college wrestling team, so he has learned from experience that resistance is futile when she decides to spank him. In your story of the M/m spanking in the barn, I can’t help imagining the stronger guy isn’t just spanking the weaker guy but is also cuckolding him. I must confess that I am perverse enough to be turned on by that idea. Even further, I can’t stop my mind from wandering to the fantasy of the D/s dynamic between the two men being reinforced by forced fellatio after the spanking. I must have a really deep submission kink because that fantasy excites me, even though I have a normal heterosexual aversion to the thought of having to go down on another guy.
      Doug

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    9. In the story, I dimly recall there *was* a cuckolding aspect, but I'm not 100% sure about that. And, I think there may have been an allusion by the dominant male that he would have made husband perform fellatio if they'd had more time. But, again, it's been a very long time since I read it and I don't recall all the details. There definitely was a very strong D/s dynamic about the whole thing.

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    10. I’m not into anything male on male. Although I was punished my plenty of male teachers/principals, an adult spanking is a whole different story. If my wife ever suggested it, I would decline. She wouldn’t even suggest it, but it’s not something that would occur. I also would not want to be punished by a female w a male present or getting punished alongside me.
      T

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  10. Dan, your barn and woodshed fantasies bring back a memory and a related fantasy from when I was a kid. I had a friend who lived on a farm. When we were about 12 or so, he and a couple of our other friends used to play strip poker in the hayloft of the barn. It wasn’t exactly strip poker, but a simplification where we would draw cards from a deck, and in each round whoever drew the lowest card had to remove a piece of clothing. Now, I am not gay, and as far as I know none of the other guys turned out to be gay either. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that). Nevertheless, for some reason the game excited us, as evidenced by the fact that we would have erections by the time we got down to losing our underwear. I’m not sure why we got erections. I think there was a D/s vibe to it because the winner wouldn’t have to disrobe completely but everyone else would be fully exposed. Part of the excitement for me was a sense of danger because my friend had an older sister who could potentially have come into the barn and caught us. I turned that into a fantasy at the time, and the fantasy still excites me all these years later. In my fantasy the sister comes into the barn and catches us. She tells us that we all need to be spanked for our naughtiness, and unless we want her to turn us in to my friend’s parents, we have to submit to a spanking from her. So one after another the four of us have to go over her knee for bare bottomed spankings. I am the last, of course, so with butterflies in my stomach and my face burning red, I have to watch the other three being spanked as I await my turn.
    Doug

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    1. I suspect my things for barns and woodsheds also has some element of the danger of being "caught" or overheard.

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    2. Overheard or spied on. The old barn on my uncle’s farm was quite luminous during the day from light streaming in through various gaps between boards and doors. I can imagine that if I was taken out to the barn for a “shellacking”, the eyes of cousins and siblings would be pressed against gaps or knotholes to enjoy the show. But I think my cousins were generally punished in the woodshed attached to the back of the house rather than the barn. I was never witness to any spankings, but I know that my cousins were punished with a razor strap that hung on a hook in the woodshed. I also know that it was my aunt (my father’s sister) rather than my uncle who spanked my cousins. My uncle was a short, stocky man with a congenial temperament and a good sense of humour who generally deferred to my aunt, a tall, angular woman with a beaky nose and a sharp tongue. She was also a school teacher, and I can imagine she would have been a feared one. It made sense that she was the disciplinarian. Also, I know from various cousins that razor straps were the traditional spanking implement in my father’s family, although my own father used his belt. I sometimes fantasized about being taken to the woodshed by my aunt while my girl cousins listened or spied, but it was not a fantasy I would have wanted to come true.
      Doug

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  11. Doug, your post took me back to an experience I had before puberty. A neighbor girl, who was a couple years older than I was, suggested that we show each other our parts. I readily showed her "mine", only to have her back out on our deal. I know, I should have seen that coming. Embarrassed and disappointed, l could only chalk that up as a learning experience. Much later, I thought about what would have happened if our moms had walked in on us. In my fantasy, my friend's pants came down too and we each got a good spanking from our respective moms.
    Kevin

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    1. Haha! That definitely would be a good learning experience.

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  12. My wife and I have a mutual good friend who I am comfortable enough with now that I would like to let her in on our spankings or even give me one.
    She lives nearby so stops at our place pretty regularly and will just come right in if the door is unlocked.
    This practice resulted in a couple of incidents where she likely knows that my wife spanks me.
    Once when she came in our front door in the middle of a spanking which we immediately aborted but I'm sure she was there long enough to hear part of it , and my red face probably gave her a hint that it matched my bottom.
    The other incident was when she came across a paddle we had left out after a spanking and the smirk on her face told me that she knew exactly what it was for.
    We socialize a lot and my wife often drops veiled threats if I act up by drinking too much or being argumentative.
    I'm sure she knows what is being threatened by the way I react znf immediately smarten up.
    So one of my fantasies is that my wife does not disguise her threats and uses the 'S' word in front of her and she suggests my wife go ahead and do it .
    Another one is that she stops by our house when I come out of the shower naked and she scolds me about something before having me bend over for a hard paddling with the bathbrush.
    I doubt if either of these will happen, but there is always hope!

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    1. Glenmore, the great thing about those fantasies is that you are already part way there, so there is a plausible pathway for the fantasies to come true. I am turned on by fantasies that could plausibly happen for real.
      Doug

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    2. Since erotic spanking has become common in the culture - I doubt most reasonably sophisticated folks are shocked to discover a paddle laying around -or even encountering evidence of a recent spanking. But unless DD is also understood as a real "thing" , the normal interpretation of spanking evidence is likely to be that an erotic game of some sort is going on. Actually using spanking to manage or modify adult behavior is still a bit outre -( which is where some of us hopes it remains.)

      Alan

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    3. Alan, I think it would be cool if adult disciplinary spanking remained unusual enough to be raise eyebrows and to be a source of embarrassment to people subject to such discipline, but common enough to be recognized as a real thing. Imagine if it was considered normal enough that dominant partners didn’t feel compelled to hide their authoritative status from friends and family. Spankings would still be done behind closed doors, especially when the bottom is bared, but threats and warnings could be made publicly the way parents used to do when kids misbehaved. As I imagine this social evolution, egalitarianism would continue to be the most common marital ideal, but people would accept that some relationships have a D/s dynamic because some adults need discipline. My need for DD embarrasses me, but there is a part of me that wishes that my wife could make it known that she has authority over me. Maybe it would be liberating.
      Doug

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    4. Glen, I agree with Doug that your scenarios have a certain "hotness" because they have a pretty strong linkage to your reality.

      Doug, you summarize almost perfectly how I wish things could develop, even if I doubt they would. I have no desire at all for F/m DD to become "normal." I think it would lose a ton of its emotional edge for me if that were to happen. For me, a lot of its power is in it being transgressive of societal norms. I too would like my wife to be more open about her authority, but I would want the people who observed it to view it as not within the norm. There is one historical context that kind of mirrors what you are suggesting. In ancient Rome, homosexual relationships were common, but it was *not* egalitarian. There were "tops" and "bottoms" and bottoms were not respected. "Giving" was a sign of being powerful. "Receiving" a sign of the opposite.

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    5. Today, many of those Roman homosexual relationships ,would be considers pedophilia -since older senior roman mentors often chose young boys/men for their dalliance. I suspect the Top -bottom designations were more social norms than descriptions of actual sexual activity. Famously Julius Caesar was often described as "every woman’s man and every man’s woman.”

      Alan

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    6. Alan, I've heard that, though I've also heard it was a saying spread largely by Julius' opponents. If so, then that would indicate they saw it as a putdown.

      I know the Greeks had those "mentoring" relationships. Plato talks about them favorably. I hadn't read about it re: the Romans, but I don't doubt it.

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    7. Dan, you are right that society is unlikely to evolve towards acceptance of DD as a recognized alternative lifestyle. But if it did, I agree that those on the giving side of DD would be more respected than those on the receiving side. My wife has occasionally sent me spanking warnings by text or email. When I said it could be embarrassing if a message went astray, she teased me that it wouldn’t be embarrassing for her because she’s not the one being spanked. I think that’s true. So basically she is discreet about DD for my sake, not for hers. That suggests to me that it would only take a slight cultural shift to bring DD somewhat out of the closet. It would, of course, be embarrassing to have it known that you get spanked by your spouse—for real, as discipline—but that embarrassment would just be a part of the disciplinary experience, like it was for those of us who were spanked as kids. But I think the embarrassment would be qualitatively different for a spanked man than a spanked woman because F/m runs counter to cultural expectation that the man should wear the pants.
      Doug

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  14. Tried my hand at AI story telling ala Strict Julie - posted in part due to blogger limitation.
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    The scent of warm apple butter and freshly baked bread always drew Tom back to Miller’s Family Restaurant in Holmes County, Ohio. At seventy-three, a year shy of his beloved Becky’s passing five years ago, the world had softened at the edges. His days were quiet, filled with the gentle rhythm of his small Pittsburgh home and the occasional visit from his grandchildren. But every few months, a different kind of yearning would stir within him, a flicker of a past he thought long extinguished. It was during these visits that his gaze would linger on the waitresses, their movements efficient and strong, their cheeks flushed from the warmth of the kitchen. They reminded him of the nurses who had cared for Eleanor in her final years, their capable hands and no-nonsense demeanor a comforting presence.

    Today, a young woman named Martha had caught his eye. Her dark hair was pulled back in a severe bun, but her eyes held a spark of something untamed. As she navigated the crowded dining room, balancing a laden tray, Tom, lost in a daydream, shifted clumsily in his booth. His elbow jutted out just as Martha passed, sending the tray crashing to the linoleum floor. The clatter echoed through the suddenly silent room, a symphony of shattering porcelain and spilled gravy.

    “Oh, dear heavens! I am so terribly sorry!” Tom stammered, his face flushing with genuine remorse. He bent to help her gather the debris, his old hands fumbling with the broken pieces.

    Martha’s initial shock gave way to a tight-lipped frustration. “It’s alright, sir,” she said, her voice strained as she knelt beside him. But Tom heard the tremor in her tone.

    As the kitchen door swung open, a gruff voice boomed, “Martha! What in tarnation was that racket?” A stout woman with flour dusting her apron stood in the doorway, her expression thunderous. Tom winced as he heard the sharp reprimand, the blame laid squarely on Martha’s shoulders.

    He continued to apologize profusely as Martha, her face pale, began to sweep up the mess. He caught the tail end of a hushed conversation between her and another waitress near the coffee station. “…wish I could take the clumsy old goat out to my woodshed,” she muttered, her voice low but laced with a surprising intensity.

    Tom, on his way to the salad bar, froze. He glanced towards the kitchen corridor and saw Martha looking his way. Her eyes widened slightly when she met his gaze, a blush creeping up her neck. There was something in her expression, a flicker of anger mixed with a strange, almost…excited awareness, that sent a shiver down his spine. He quickly averted his eyes and busied himself with the lettuce and tomatoes, his appetite suddenly diminished.

    Throughout the rest of his meal, Martha served him with a polite but distant efficiency. The air between them felt charged, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken threat. When she finally brought the bill, Tom’s heart pounded in his chest. He took a deep breath and, abandoning all pretense of innocence, said, “Martha, I am truly sorry again for the accident. I was wondering… you mentioned a woodshed earlier. I’d be happy to… make amends, in whatever way you see fit.” He held her gaze, a hint of a hopeful tremor in his voice.

    Martha’s eyes widened again, a mixture of surprise and something akin to amusement playing on her lips. She looked at him for a long moment, a funny little smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. Without a word, she took his bill and went to get his requested piece of apple pie to go.

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  15. The wait felt like an eternity. When she returned, she placed the pie and a new bill on the table, along with a small, folded piece of paper. Her expression was unreadable. “Here you go, sir,” she said, her voice neutral.

    Tom’s fingers trembled slightly as he unfolded the note. The handwriting was simple and direct: “Be by the back exit of the associated hotel at eight tonight. Follow me home. You’ll be standing to eat that pie.”

    A car pulled up to the dimly lit back entrance. Martha, cloaked against the evening chill, nodded curtly.

    The ride to her farm was short. The air was crisp and carried the scent of turned earth and hay. Her farmhouse was small and neat, a solitary light glowing in the window. Behind it stood a large, weathered barn.

    Inside, the barn was dimly lit by a single lantern hanging from a rafter. The air was thick with the smell of leather and wood shavings. Tom’s breath caught in his throat as he took in the scene. Ropes hung from the beams, various sized paddles leaned against a wall, and a collection of supple leather straps lay neatly arranged on a workbench.

    Martha turned to him, her eyes gleaming in the lantern light. “You were clumsy, old man,” she said, her voice low and husky. “You caused me trouble. Now, you’re going to learn some respect.”

    The lantern light intensified as Martha’s gaze locked onto Tom’s. “Turn around and face the wall, old man,” she commanded, her voice now carrying a sharper edge. A knot of nervous anticipation tightened in Tom’s stomach. He obeyed, his movements stiff and slow. Martha approached, and the sound of her leather apron rustling filled the silence. Her hands moved to the back of his trousers, the rough fabric a stark contrast to her surprisingly delicate touch as she unbuckled his belt. The zipper followed, a soft rasping sound in the stillness. Tom’s breath hitched, a wave of vulnerability washing over him as his pants were lowered to his knees, followed by his undergarments, leaving his bare backside exposed to the cool air of the barn and Martha’s unwavering scrutiny.

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  16. He could feel her eyes tracing the curve of his aged flesh, and a blush of shame and a strange thrill heated his skin. Martha stepped back slightly, the silence stretching taut. Then, the first strike of the wide paddle landed with brutal force directly on his bare skin. A searing pain shot through him, a gasp escaping his lips as he instinctively lurched forward against the ropes now securing his wrists to the sawhorse. “That was for the shattered china,” Martha stated, her voice cold and unforgiving.

    The subsequent blows were relentless. Each impact of the heavy wood against his exposed flesh was a fresh wave of agony. Tom’s body jerked with each strike, his muffled cries echoing in the barn. He strained against the ropes, his muscles screaming in protest, but there was no escape.

    She dropped the paddle and retrieve a skinny belt from the workbench. She teasingly tapped Tom bare ass with the belt for a minute before drawing her arm way back and going to town on it. The sting intensified with every lash, the skin on his buttocks burning as if branded. He could feel the welts rising rapidly, a testament to Martha’s strength and the severity of her discipline. Tears welled in his eyes, blurring his vision, but he refused to beg. A strange sense of acceptance, a surrender to her will, began to take root amidst the pain.

    Next, Martha picked up the thicker leather strap. “And this is for the insult,” she hissed, the leather whistling through the air before landing with a sharp crack across the already inflamed skin. The thinner strap had been stinging; this was a deeper, more agonizing pain that made him cry out. Each stroke of the heavy leather left a raw, throbbing line across his backside, overlapping the welts from the paddle. He could taste blood on his lip where he had bitten down. His body was a canvas of burning, throbbing sensation, every nerve ending screaming.

    Martha continued her ministrations, going bback and forth between the instruments, the rhythmic thud of the paddle and the sharp crack of the leather merging into a brutal symphony of punishment. She varied her aim, sometimes focusing on one area until it was a mass of angry red welts, other times moving to deliver fresh, searing pain to untouched skin. Tom’s cries became ragged gasps, his body slick with a thin sheen of sweat despite the cool air. He felt a strange detachment, as if the pain was happening to someone else, yet every searing strike anchored him firmly in the present moment, under Martha’s absolute control. The humiliation of his exposed backside, the raw agony of each blow, combined to create a level of intensity he had never imagined, a harsh and brutal reckoning for his clumsiness.

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  18. Over mugs of hot cider in the quiet farmhouse kitchen, Martha explained that she lived alone since losing her parents in a tractor accident a few years prior. The farm was her life, her responsibility. She admitted that the outburst in the restaurant had been fueled by stress and a loneliness she rarely acknowledged.

    The evening ended with a proposition that surprised Tom more than the earlier chastisement. “You’re a strong man, despite your age,” Martha said, her gaze direct. “I could use a hand around here. And… well, I enjoyed our arrangement tonight. Perhaps… perhaps you’d consider staying on. As my farmhand. And… my submissive.”

    Tom, his heart swelling with a feeling he hadn’t experienced in years, readily agreed. He found a purpose in the hard work of the farm, a quiet satisfaction in following Martha’s instructions. The barn became a place of both discipline and unexpected intimacy, their shared moments forging a bond that transcended the unusual circumstances of their meeting. In the twilight of his life, Tom had stumbled into a fantasy he never dared to dream, finding not only a spanker but a reason to feel truly alive again in the strong, capable hands of the farm girl from Ohio.

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    1. Well done!
      -3pops

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    2. It did seem to do a good job. Was using google's gemini

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  19. I have a fantasy about being spanked for being reluctant to go down on my wife. The origin of the fantasy is that I can remember being squeamish about oral sex when I was young. In fact, when I first heard about “eating pussy” as a teenager, I thought it must be a joke, that people wouldn’t really do that. This is going to reveal how sexually inexperienced I was in my youth, but my wife is the only woman I’ve gone down on. The first couple of times I did it, I was still squeamish, but I had read how much women like it, so I considered it to be a marital duty to force myself. Of course, I quickly came to love doing it, especially because my wife got such pleasure from it. After we embarked on a FLR, I added analingus to my repertoire because it felt like such a submissive thing to do. I was squeamish about that the first time too, but once again my wife loved it, so “ass worship” became a regular part of our routine. So here’s the fantasy. I imagine that I am still the inexperienced young man who thought oral sex was disgusting, and that was I don’t want to go down on my wife. But my wife is not prepared to take no for an answer, so she coerces me to go down on her by paddling me into submission. I often wish that my wife would “make me” go down on her after she spanks me, but she never mixes spanking and sex. Nevertheless, I often fantasize during a session of cunnilingus or “ass worship” that I am not doing it for our mutual pleasure, but because she has just spanked me for being reluctant. That’s the kind of thing I mean when I say that the real life aspects of our FLR are overlaid with fantasies in my head.
    Doug

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    1. I've entertained this fantasy as well, Doug. I'm not squeamish but I like the idea of having a macho attitude in the bedroom that she paddles out of me.

      I don't have a fantasy of my wife spanking other men, but I do like the idea of her being competent and fit-looking enough to be asked.

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    2. I was thinking a few days ago that when I was growing up, oral sex was seen as something kinkier than intercourse. For today's younger generations, I think it's more like low-level foreplay or "petting."

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    3. " I think it's more like low-level foreplay or "petting."

      Think trying to "feel her up" at the drive-in. And she's a cheer-leader too. Bold stuff, indeed -how could we have been so cool?
      Alan

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    4. Yeah, we were easily satisfied back then

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    5. I'm middle-aged, so while oral has always been an expected part of the mix, we are still excited when it happens. That's a sweet spot.

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    6. It’s true that oral sex seemed kinky when I was young. A nice thing about analingus is that it still feels kinky—maybe even taboo. I sometimes wonder whether there is a D/s vibe to “ass worship” for my wife. Does it make her feel dominant the way it makes me feel submissive? Or is it purely a matter of sensual pleasure for her? She keeps me in the dark about such things.

      “I'm middle-aged, so while oral has always been an expected part of the mix, we are still excited when it happens. That's a sweet spot”

      You are younger than me, MW, so I can remember oral sex feeling kinkier. I have a question for other guys in FLR’s. Is oral sex reciprocal, or do most wives in FLR’s expect to receive without having to give? My wife never liked to reciprocate, so after we embarked on FLR, she made it clear that oral sex would henceforth be a one way street.
      Doug

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    7. My wife and I started with her giving me oral all the time. She actually enjoys it and I was floored because my ex was just ok at it. When I reciprocated, she was blown away at how good I was. She had never had any man go down on her like I did. I of course responded, yeah ok. She explained to me that her two past relationships, one guy was not into it at all and one haphazardly would do it when drunk. He had zero technique and never paid attention to her buttons. I gave my first girlfriend oral at 16. I read a few books and took great pleasure in her pleasure. I wish my wife would make me go down on her after a thrashing, but it’s a mix with us. I prefer zero sexual involvement after a thrashing. My wife is a mix. At times she will give me a dry hand release. At times it’s sexual and at times she sends me to the corner. We still to this day have a phenomenal sexual relationship.
      T

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  20. My fantasies are similar to others mentioned here. Most of them involve my wife becoming stricter with me or finding someone to confide in about her spanking me. That fantasy has become especially strong recently when we came to suspect one of her friends may spank her husband. I would love if both my wife and this friend found reason to spank me. They often talk joke about keeping me in line, but nothing ever comes of it.
    A lot of my fantasies have to do with being held accountable for something. This ranges from not satisfying my wife in bed, to thinking back to things I did long before my wife started spanking me.
    One I often think about and discuss is the time I got a DUI shortly before we got married (we were engaged and living together). At the time, my wife was very supportive and understanding, but as the lawyer's fees piled up, and she had to chauffeur me around, I could tell she was becoming more annoyed with me. I like to imagine how that would play out now. Other incidents where I still feel guilt fuel my fantasies for finally being held accountable.
    Tom M

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    1. There is a couple we hang out with that I'm am increasingly suspicious might be in some kind of F/m dominance relationship. I used to think it might be just kind of "she wears that pants," then I thought it might be a real FLR. Then, recently, he made an allusion to spanking that made me seriously wonder whether I might be hanging out with another disciplined husband. I don't know and could be projecting the whole thing, but I'm leaving myself open to exploring things.

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    2. That would be a serious interesting topic if it came up Dan. I always thought that maybe my buddy’s brother was in a DD. I now think his wife is just a super biatch. Originally, I would have sworn she thrashed him. She is no nonsense. I would love to head more about this situation as it unfolds.

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    3. I always kick myself for either not responding or missing an opportunity when somebody makes an unexpected spanking reference during a regular conversation.
      There are so many things I could have said to keep the topic going but I only think if them afterwards.

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    4. Yeah, I will try to update if anything happens and it seems appropriate. In this case, the wife does not seem like a bitch (to me). Just very in charge. And, my friend is far from wimpy. He's a tall, impressive guy and mostly a "man's man." Yet, that's part of what makes me suspicious. He's pretty deferential to his wife, and that's not the way he is around others. Of course, he probably says the same about me.

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  21. A couple of stories were included in this post and comments. Have you discussed FLR erotic spanking material before? Favorite stories, novelas, authors, nonfiction narratives, etc? What makes a good spanking story or what you look for?
    Tom M

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    1. We have, but it got very few positive responses. It became mostly a gripe session about why there is so little good F/m content available.

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  22. Sorry, late to the party! Mine, as it appears many others, is that my wife starts punishing me in front of others. My oldest friend went to boarding school with me, and his lovely wife often visit and have a few drinks with us. My fantasy is that I do something that my wife determines needs to be punished and she decides to do it in front of them.
    In the fantasy she works hard to make the caning count and so I'm on the receiving end of one of the harder canings that I've received. Afterwards I'm stood naked in the corner where they can keep an eye on me.
    They are all excellent "talkers", so their discussion is all about me, my misbehaviour, how I took the caning etc. Bonus is if my wife was open to receiving some pointers on application of the cane from my friend who was always a good athlete, and or if his wife came and rubbed across the stripes and whispered something in my ear... such as that she hopes to see it again and maybe be allowed to give some of the strokes.

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    1. Witnessed spankings aren't high on my list of fantasies but they are on it. And, I do fantasize about my wife being far more open about her authority.

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  23. This is a weird fantasy, but I am turned on by the idea of being spanked by an unattractive woman. Most femdom art, photography, and fiction represent the dominant woman as a sort of goddess, like the really sexy woman in the second to last in Dan’s post this week. Presumably, most of us are married to our wives because we find them attractive, even if other guys might find them ordinary. To be honest, I prefer pictures in which the women are average looking rather than stunning: regular wives rather than models. But this weird fantasy of mine involves women whom I would find totally unattractive outside a D/s context, and in this fantasy the women dominate men who would be out of their league in most people’s eyes. For example, maybe the woman is a highly overweight Walmart greeter, but because of her dominant personality, her comfort in her own skin, and her understanding of “naughty boys” in need of discipline, she acquires surprising sexual power as a disciplinarian. I once saw an amateur spanking video in which a huge, overweight woman turns a diminutive man over her knee, bares his bottom, and spanks him with her large, meaty hand, scolding him for his misbehaviour. I didn’t find the woman physically attractive at all, but for some reason I found that video really arousing. I have tried to find that video again, but without success. But anyway, that’s the fantasy: being spanked over the knee of a woman I would normally find unattractive, and being aroused by her strictness.
    Doug

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    1. Doug,
      I can relate to your story. I have this fascination with being strapped by a head cashier at the grocery store. She is a bit heavy set with glasses. She always wears those long jean skirts or black dresses. She scolded me one time, because I was entering something wrong in the self checkout lane. I apologized and she gave me that look like she wanted to beat me. I’ve seen her multiple times and she always gives me that stern look. If she ever made any type of innuendo towards me, I would follow up and see where it led. Of course, this is all fantasy. She reminds me of a single cat lady lol. She looks like she would give you a serious no nonsense strapping.
      T

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    2. T, thanks for sharing that. I was worried I might be the only one with a weird fantasy of being spanked by women I find unattractive. I’m not sure what it is. Maybe it increases the D/s aspect if your submission to her isn’t motivated by sexual attraction? I mean, I guess most guys would say yes to a beautiful woman who proposed a spanking. If she was really hot, letting her spank you would almost be vanilla. But if the woman wasn’t attractive, the power exchange would be starker.
      Doug

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    3. Outside of my wife Doug, I actually prefer to receive discipline by women who are older and not attractive. About twenty three years ago, I visited a pro who was in her sixties and unattractive. My visits were purely for discipline. I never was turned on by her. I never had an erection and she actually told me , I was the youngest she had ever punished. I miss that bond we had for a short time. I think she took great pride in punishing a young bottom.
      T

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    4. I definitely don't have a fantasy of being spanked by an unattractive woman. Yet, I've been attracted to several videos with this spanker, even though she is quite overweight and, to me, not attractive:
      https://www.spankingtube.com/video/64193/disciplined-for-drinking-driving
      But, I think it is her "no nonsense" spanking style, and the fact that the spankings she is giving are very real, are what I find attractive.

      Delete
    5. Dan, thanks for sharing that link. That’s a great video of a spanking that looks and sounds very real. That’s exactly what I mean! I have never been attracted to overweight women outside a spanking context. But those videos of “Mrs. Crystal” giving no nonsense spankings turn me on. Whic means, I suppose, that she turns me on…her disciplinary persona turns me on. The fact that she has produced a whole series of spanking videos, both F/f and F/m, means that other people must feel the same way. I would pay to be disciplined by her.
      Doug

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    6. I’ve observed a bunch of her videos online. She is a no nonsense spammer. From what I understand, she is not in and FLR or DD relationship anymore. She is in a vanilla relationship and left him quite sometime ago.

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  24. I am a long time reader that wishes he lived in a DWC type relationship. My wife will occasionally indulged me, she has repetitively made it clear she in not interested in any sort of DWC / Spanking type relationship.

    Thus my fantasy is have most of you have - a wife who will put me over her knee and give me a long, hard, punishment spanking.

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    1. Not sure why we want long hard punishment spanking, they are not that fun, but I share your wish.

      Delete
    2. Steve,
      Welcome and at least she will indulge you on occasion. A DD or FLR takes a tremendous amount of work for a women. It took a long time for my wife to discipline for agreed upon infractions. DD ebbs and flows and women think a lot differently than we do. Enjoy the moments you have when she indulges you.

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    3. Steve, does your wife spank hard when she indulges you? You may be able to at least communicate the type of spanking you want more straightforwardly. We have had some spankings where I asked for a hard one without explaining why, because we weren't "doing DD" during that time, and she obliged. The consequence aspect was all in my head but it sort of worked.

      Delete
    4. “Welcome and at least she will indulge you on occasion. A DD or FLR takes a tremendous amount of work for a women.”

      I think that is a point we guys have to understand. Serious discipline takes work. I have been to a professional disciplinarian a couple of times because I wanted to experience the kind of long, intense spanking that my wife never gives. The professional spanking was intense indeed, and it lasted an hour, with a couple of breaks standing in the corner to recompose myself and prepare for the even harder spanking to come. She began with a long hand spanking that hurt way more than I thought a hand could. Then she went through a series of leather and wooden implements that delivered a gradual crescendo of pain. In my mind, she earned the money I paid her because she took me to a level of pain I couldn’t have endured without the gradual build-up. My wife has no interest in warming me up with her hand, giving me corner time intermissions, or taking me gradually to a level of intensity that challenges my endurance. Her spankings are short and business like, at a uniform intensity that satisfies her own sense of appropriateness. And I guess they must meet her FLR behavioural goals for me. They hurt enough that I am happy when she stops. But soon afterwards I fantasize about her spanking me longer and harder until I break down and cry. But I think she would see that as unnecessary work when her own way satisfies her own objectives.
      Doug

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  25. Something that fascinates me about fantasies is that there can be a blurry line between fantasy and desire. For example, it seems that most of us have fantasized about being spanked with witnesses who either see or overhear it. That is a powerful fantasy for me to the point that I kind of want it to happen. Kind of. But would I really want it to happen? Maybe. Maybe not. My feelings about it are ambivalent, but I suppose that if my wife decided to do it my ambivalence would enable her to take control and do as she wished.
    Doug

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    1. I agree the line is blurry, and for me, it's pretty indistinct. There are all sorts of things I haven't done, to the point that I'm jealous of some of the more adventurous people here, but there's not that much that I fantasize about that I wouldn't actually do.

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    2. “… re, but there's not that much that I fantasize about that I wouldn't actually do.”

      That’s interesting. I’m not sure I would do everything I fantasize about. For example, I once read a femdom story in which the woman punished the man by peeing into his mouth. I know that is a kink that some people are into, but I was a bit shocked that the fantasy turned me on. Since then I occasionally fantasize about my wife punishing me that way. Would I actually do it? Let’s just say I would never ask my wife to do that the way I asked her to spank me. But if my wife came to the idea on her own and ordered me to do it, it is possible I would feel compelled to obey.
      Doug

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    3. Definitely not something I'm into. But, if it's something that turned you on, watch the opening scene of the pilot episode of Billions.

      Delete
    4. Dan, being spanked in front of witnesses is in that blurry zone for me. You have indicated that it is not high on your list of fantasies, but it is on the list, right? I interpret that to mean that under the right circumstances, you would be willing to try it. Does that mean that you would want a say in deciding where and how it would happen, and who the witnesses would be? But what if Anne decided to do it entirely on her terms, without giving you any say, and you were really uncomfortable with the witnesses she selected. What if she decided to take you aside for a spanking at a party that might be overheard by a lot of people, like the wife of KOJ did? I would find that extremely embarrassing. I don’t think I would like to experience that for real, but the fantasy is so erotic too me that I’m not sure.
      Doug

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    5. Doug, while the title of this post referenced fantasies, there are many scenarios where, for me, the word "fantasy" doesn't quite fit. They are things I do have some interest in exploring, but it's not like I spent time conjuring up imagined scenarios involving them in my head. I would put witnesses in that category. I do find the prospect titillating, but it's not something I spend a lot of time truly fantasizing about. If it were to happen, no, I really wouldn't want a stay in deciding where and how, as whatever attraction it has is really as an extension of her authority. If I did have a saw, it would probably be something along the lines of scenarios Alan has described, such as me and another man both being spanked in front of each other's wives. I can't imagine the mortification KOJ felt but, yes, I'm almost sure I would have gone along with it had it been me in his place.

      Delete
  26. Al here. I've just had the chance to join in - but this has been a really fascinating discussion this week. I certainly related to much of what has been said, and like Spanked Cowboy, I've had the opportunity to experience some of those fantasies over the years.

    First, I should note that just having become a DWC husband was in itself a fantasy come true - and, in a story that I've told here a few times, and one I certainly would have never expected to come about - as my wife, whom I was convinced was plain vanilla when it came to anything remotely "kinky", enthusiastically embraced the role of disciplinary wife after I admitted to a "mild interest" in being spanked one night over too much wine. Then there were a number of "attached fantasies" that went with that that came true over time as well - the use of various implements, anal disciplines (plugs, pegging), spanked in various places (including outside the car behind a closed gas station on the side of the interstate one night).

    However, only a couple of years or so after we entered the lifestyle, Susan's sister inadvertently overheard a spanking - and the resulting dynamic that came out of that was undoubtedly the biggest "fantasy come true" - other than just being a spanked husband at all. I've told that story more than once here as well. In short, however, Susan's sister, Elaine (who turned out to be a bit of a spanko herself) asked Susan about the overheard spanking a few days later over (several) margaritas. Susan then told her the whole story, and soon I was being spanked with her watching, then with her participating, and finally spanking me solo on a few occasions - giving me a proxy spankings for Susan. I also got to watch Susan spank Elaine on one occasion as well (Elaine had done some "kinky spanking play" along the way - and was a switch - but was truly taken back by the severity of a real DWC spanking). Since then, Elaine has moved out of state, and is no longer a regular part of our lives (just because of the distance - she lived only a few minutes away when she was involved with our lifestyle).

    Just a few years ago (also shared here previously), one of my wife's old college buddies came out to us as "kinky" (BDSM, etc). So, we then came out to her - with the result being that her friend has not spanked me a few times as well - witnessed me being spanked - in addition to her being spanked by Susan (her friend is now primarily dominant, but still switches on occasion). The motif with Susan and her friend - while the spanking themselves were very real - was more "recreational".

    --al




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  27. Al here again. Continuing on, Within the last couple of years, we have made a new friend, Ben, that we spend quite a bit of time with. We've all become quite close and he hangs out with us fairly often. Along the way, he happened to see a paddle left out - with the result being that Susan told him our entire story - but not while I present. She confessed to me later and although the resulting discussion got somewhat tense, ultimately I had not choice but to accept what was done. What I privately realized, however, was that although it was incredibly embarrassing to me to know that Ben now knew that Susan regularly bare ass paddled me to tears - on the other, hand it was also credibly hot that she had told him - that she had exercised that much authority.

    Following that initial revelation, Susan began talking about our disciplinary lifestyle in front of Ben as if were just part of our ordinary life (which, of course, it is). It was initially quite embarrassing to see that Susan had texted Ben that she had spanked me or that I had a spanking coming - and the like - but eventually I also came to terms with that. I've even occasionally made an occasional comment myself - especially after a drink or two - about Susan paddling my ass over certain issues.

    Susan would really like to spank Ben and has told him more than once that he needs a sound paddling - but Ben always says that although he respects our relationship - and even thinks it's "really cool that we are so open minded" - but he wants no part of being spanked. Once, when sitting between us on the couch watching a football game, Susan told us both that we needed a good spanking (too much drinking and swearing). Ben replied "probably - but Al can have mine too.'. I don't have any objection to Susan spanking Ben or other men in general as long as it is safe (and anonymous except for Ben). I would prefer to watch, but at least listen from the next room.

    The most recent development with Ben was on our way home from a Sunday morning outing a couple of weeks ago. On the way home, Susan declared that she would administer my weekly maintenance spanking after lunch. Whereupon I reminded her that Ben would be over for lunch and then hanging out. Whereupon, she replied, "So what? He already knows you get a weekly spanking. It might even be a good reminder for him to be behave - once he sees how I spank". And she was dead serious - I really believe that she intended to spank me with him at the house, and possibly in front of him. I was completely taken aback, and expressed some hesitation. I didn't mention it again - and neither did she. But now I do believe it is just a matter of time until I do get spanked with him in the house to overhear (and possibly in front of him). I am concerned about the intense embarrassment that I know I would experience - but I do have to confess that I have found (after the initial shock) a certain hotness at the prospect as well. I can't say that I want it to happen - but, at the same time, I can't say that I absolutely hope that it never will. And, honestly, I suspect that it will at some point. And, I do think Susan hopes that will lead to her getting to spank Ben as well (doubtful, but you never know).

    I don't think that it would really occur to her to ask Ben to spank me. I suspect that would me her uncomfortable - and she would know that I would be uncomfortable about it as well. So, I doubt that will be a concern.

    --al

    --al

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    1. Al, I do admire that you're one of those who has experienced a lot of what others (including me) count as fantasies. Though, I totally agree that getting to be in an actual DD relationship fulfilled a fantasy, even if for me the time between discovering I had the fantasy and it being fulfilled was less than a week!

      It's interesting to me how my reaction to other people's fantasies can hinge on very small details. All sorts of the things you have experienced are things I think of as hot, but the one that really got my attention was: "It was initially quite embarrassing to see that Susan had texted Ben that she had spanked me or that I had a spanking coming - and the like - but eventually I also came to terms with that." I don't know why, but something about the wife texting to someone else what she has done or intends to do pushes a lot of buttons for me. There is something so "matter of fact" about it.

      Delete
  28. Has anyone else noticed that Strict Julie’s blog appears to have been removed?

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    1. I saw that too and im not surprised. I’ve seen some people suggest there are russian/ukranian bots that look for specific topics

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    2. Laura Loomer was in Toronto recently . This has her claw-prints all over it.

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    3. I don’t understand what either Russian/Ukrainian bots or Laura Loomer (had to look her up) being in Toronto would have to do with the disappearance of the Strict Julie website. Could you please explain the connection?

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    4. Some most active posts on their blog have been political. She had a post about some russian massacre being false flag or fake or something. Its possible bot found the post and had the blog removed with report. Since nsfw blog, maybe had post that was against tos. Just guess though, could be anything

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    5. Are you suggesting that because of her political content someone reported that some of her porn content violated the platform’s terms of service to have her blog cancelled?

      I know who Laura Loomer is now. Politically, she would appear to be a fellow traveller of Julie, both being far right MAGA boosters, so what would she have to do with getting Julie’s blog cancelled?

      Delete
    6. No clue on Loomer, that different commenter. I think automation is what got blog taken down, either political bots or Googles own system. Another blogger I follow in march posted that Blogspot was taking down established nsfw blogs

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    7. Well, considering so much of the wild stuff that Julie has posted over the last +13 years, it is kind of strange that her blog would be removed now. (I was there early this morning [~7:30am PDT; 15:30 UTC] and her blog was up and running; must have come down shortly thereafter.)

      However, I do note that recently she has posted several AI assisted stories that included apparently non-consensual sex (mostly oral) with minors; even a couple that involved apparently non-consensual sex between a minor and an adult. THAT IS THE KIND OF CONTENT ALMOST ASSURED TO GET A BLOG "NUKED!"

      Delete
    8. I've suspected for a while that while most of the spam-flagging in Blogger is automated, that they have some fairly large number of human reviewers. Some of the stuff they flag that I release is so random, it seems like human choices at play somewhere in the background. Keep in mind that a lot of human content moderation if farmed out to workers in countries that are MUCH more religiously and sexually conservative than Canada and the US. I really would be surprised if an uptight religious conservative in somewhere like Pakistan or India were exercising some significant authority over content decisions.

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    9. Dan:

      Don't forget that a lot of off-shore "customer service" and "moderation" is handled by young women in the Philippines (widest English literacy of any country outside North American, Ireland and UK-isles - greater than India).

      Yes, Philippina families have long history of strong "matriarchy" (your blog would likely be safe), but ALSO that country is almost 80% (very) Conservative Catholic -- not exactly open and understanding of Western sexual mores.

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    10. Yeah, Julie’s post below is incorrect. The community guidelines state that sexual content is allowed. But inc*st and r*pe are banned, and I think there’s a strong argument that a lot of her content could be interpreted that way if not outright classified as it.

      Delete
    11. There are definitely some “incest” fantasies on Julie’s site.

      Delete
    12. I haven't read their most recent community guidelines, but regardless of what they are, they are totally inconsistent in how they enforce them. They will allow pretty much anything for years, then they'll suddenly announce they are taking down ALL adult-oriented blogs. Then, everyone who has invested time and effort in those blogs go nuts, and they back off. Then, they suddenly add or change logins for adult material.

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    13. Having worked at companies that required “moderators”, most of them aren’t aware of what content is on their platform. The US SC ruled that they can’t be held liable for it unless they’re aware, so it’s better for business if they’re not aware. Ban waves usually only happen if they’ve been getting bad press or they’re trying to sell the company.

      I had a feeling Julie’s was going to go down eventually based on how she was interacting with her commentators on her political posts. It was really risky to engage like that when the majority of her blog’s context is against TOS. It’s like playing with fire in a house soaked with gasoline.

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    14. That's not really how it works. Section 230 of the Communications Decency protects platforms from liability for third-party content in almost all circumstances, regardless of whether the platform owner is aware of it.

      The theory she was taken down because of the political content sounds more than a little conspiratorial. There are entire blogs devoted to nothing but politics with discussions as vigorous as anything that was on hers.

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    15. And yet it would only take one angry commentator to report her blog for the numerous violations. I doubt Blogspot has a large team that checks content regularly so someone probably brought it to their attention because her last post was up for a while. But you’re right in that we’ll never know, so it’s silly of me to speculate.

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  29. Alan wrote above:
    "Since erotic spanking has become common in the culture - I doubt most reasonably sophisticated folks are shocked to discover a paddle laying around -or even encountering evidence of a recent spanking. But unless DD is also understood as a real "thing" , the normal interpretation of spanking evidence is likely to be that an erotic game of some sort is going on."

    I completely agree with Alan's thought on this. Maybe a couple or three years ago, a neighbor/casual friend stopped by the house for some reason. She happened to notice a paddle that had been left in the living room (where I had been paddled the night before - on the couch - with the kids gone, we've gotten careless). She laughed and said "Somebody get spanked?" Whereupon Susan laughed as well and said, "Yeah, Al's always misbehaving and getting in trouble?". And I followed up with "Well, boys will be boys". Our neighbor just smiled - and that was that. I'm sure she thought we were just up to a bit of kinky sex play - which is not at all uncommon these days. And would not have begun to imagine how that paddle is really used.

    (Although I bet she did think about it at least a little more - especially since the implication was that I was the one being spanked, and the man being spanked is a bit out of the ordinary). --al

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    1. I agree that if a neighbor or friend was to encounter such a thing, the presumption probably would be that the female was the spankee. I don't think most people would think it was for real DD at all.

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    2. This does speak in a deep and disturbing way to the deep hold patriarchal culture imposes on all of us. Its fine to beat a woman's ass with a paddle -but paddle a male bum with the same paddle --- how lawful!

      Alan

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    3. "how lawful! "--that should be awful, not lawful -dammed spell-check can't spell -or was it another conspiracy ?

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    4. Alan, I think that when it comes to real DD, there would be less moral criticism of F/m than M/f. People would probably be more likely to interpret M/f as abuse because of the disparity in physical strength. However, if the person who saw the paddle thought it was for kinky spanked play, they might suppose it was M/f play, since that is more common than F/m. I don’t know whether that’s because of patriarchalism. Generally, women spankos prefer to be the bottom.

      I think that in the situation Al described, where the neighbour spotted the paddle, my wife would have done like Al’s wife and made clear that I was the one getting spanked.
      Doug

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  30. I have one recurring fantasy. My wife sends me to a neighbor, an attractive, rather serious woman, for a spanking she has arranged. This woman's style is different from my wife's. She takes down my pants and shorts but leaves them on. (My wife removes them completely.) She gives a hard, over the knee spanking and then sends me to stand facing the wall. (My wife doesn't do this.) She then has me over her knee again and repeats this pattern several times. At the end, she calls my wife to come over and see the results and take me home. Needless to say, I know that this fantasy will never be realized.

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    1. Being sent to someone for a spanking is a thing for me, though it seems to be all about the being sent, not so much what happens once there.

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    2. For me, the main thing is the arrival and her greeting and subsequent actions.

      Delete
  31. Nope, just checked, and you're right. Love her content, but her politics don't fit mine, still I'll sometimes read her rants just to get feel for the thinking on the other side.

    She reminds of an old girlfriend I had and still fantasize about in a D/s way. While getting to know each other we talked about our childhood disciplines, the "spankings" I got were milder that the "beatings" she got, (her terminology). Her Mom would come into her room and use a hairbrush on her ass for what she said felt like an hour. The parents kept the multi-generational family strap in the kitchen for quick tune-ups or even more intense sessions. She talked of getting beatings that caused "double-crying", (I guess what I called "blubbering"). She also talked about some of these beatings being so painful that she lost the ability speak or even think! Oh and did I mention she is a farmer's daughter?

    Really it all sounds like over the top child abuse, even though we are talking about the fifties and sixties, but I found it really hot to listen to, and hoped she might be inclined to give me a sample. She might have too, she liked to give me a swift smack on the butt when I displeased her or did something dumb or inconsiderate. Unfortunately, I was terrible shy and embarrassed about my spanking predilection. On my birthday one time I asked her if she was going to give me a birthday spanking figuring this was a safe thing to do. Well being of German ancestry, she had never heard of sure a think, (it's not part of German culture), and she had not heard about it at school as she want to local Catholic schools. She looked funny at me and asked me if "I was a masochist", (which I guess I am, but not this was not the way I though of myself at the time), so I said "No", though I often wish I had just said "Yes".

    There where a few times when she got super annoyed at me or how I was behaving where she said "I should just beat you", which is what I really wanted but did have the courage to admit.

    Still have regrets to this day. I play with the idea of writing her a letter and confessing this, we'll see.

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    1. I had zero self confidence when in high school and college, and at that time, I wasn't into spanking and didn't know DD existed. But, in retrospect, I really don't think any of the girls I dated (or wanted to), had any sort of dominant vibe or gave any signs of being into spanking.

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    2. I was quite the nerd in high school, stuck behind coke-bottle thick spectacles and painfully thin to boot. I didn't get any action in high school and had such low self-esteem that I didn't even try. We lived in big, old farmhouses on plots that, though large, were remnants of farms long since sold off and developed. 'The girl next door' was a creature I rarely interacted with, existing mainly in my fantasies. Girls still had to wear dresses at school, and they all looked tantalizing! There was talk of girls sometimes not wearing underwear, either because they disliked it and avoided it when they could (my kid sister did this, so there might be some truth to it), or, as some boys speculated, to flash the handsome male teachers. This theory might have some validity; we had a scandal involving the daughter of a local TV newsman and the social studies and cross-country teacher and coach. He married her, they had a child, and then moved away (I heard they later divorced).

      My interest in spanking started early. At school and in life, it seemed I was always the one 'getting it,' and I desperately wanted to see a girl get spanked. This morphed into a desire to be spanked by a pretty girl. It seemed to me that a number of teachers, both men and women, were into it, based on some inappropriate comments they made. I eventually saw one girl get a short paddling. A new English teacher had us erase any marks in our textbooks before turning them in at the year's end. He checked them and called the owners up to receive a swat for each mark found. Poor Patty had quite a few. I enjoyed the show, though I felt guilty about it. Patty was short, cute as a button, and had the misfortune of 'developing' early. Boys with raging hormones had a hard time being 'appropriate.' Another time, I saw a boy grab Patty outside and hold her upside down so her skirt would drop, revealing her panties (fortunately, she was wearing some that day). The boy who did it was in the Scouts and later became an Eagle Scout, though rumor had it he was also the local drug source.

      We're having a bit of a high school reunion, though since it's after our fiftieth, they're grouping a few classes together to keep the numbers up.
      Tom

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    3. Dan and Tom, I find it interesting that you both had no confidence in high school and college. I was the same way. I wonder whether there is a correlation between low confidence or self esteem during adolescence and our later desire for DD or FLR in our marriages?
      Doug

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    4. Doug, I think you might be onto something. I re-watched my favorite Hitchcock movie, "The Thirty-Nine Steps," which I discovered as a kid, and it occurred to me that what I liked so much was that the protagonist ends up handcuffed to a pretty woman—kinky, and about the only way I could imagine ever spending time with a girl who might fall in love with me.

      Through YouTube, I just found out that Sigourney Weaver's mother is in that film; she plays the daughter of the mastermind spy who's missing part of his finger.

      I was so shy that my dad had some concerns that I might be 'gay' (though that was the terminology used then).

      I was so shy around girls that the one time Dad and Mom invited a family from church with many daughters (in an attempt to help me out), I was driven to run off and spend time in the woods.
      Tom

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    5. Tom, I can identify with your extreme shyness, although my circumstances were different than yours. I have 3 sisters: an older one and 2 younger ones, but we were closely bunched together in age. My sisters were popular and outgoing, so they often had their girlfriends over, which meant that I felt surrounded by girls. I had crushes on some of my sisters’ friends at various times, but I was too shy to show it. The girls were nice to me, but I felt that they saw me as my sisters’ shy, nerdy brother and would have laughed if they knew I had crushes on them. I also fantasized at the time about being spanked in front of my sisters friends, even though I would have died of embarrassment. My sister themselves had all seen me being spanked with my pants down, which was extremely embarrassing to me, even when I was young. And I remember one occasion when I was about 6 when my older sister and 2 of her girlfriends accidentally walked in on a bare bottomed spanking my father was giving me in the kitchen. As I approached puberty, my fear of a repetition of that event was intense, but my fantasy of it happening was equally intense…and erotic. Needless to say, my sisters’ friends would hear about my spankings from my sisters, even if they didn’t see it, and they sometimes teased me about it. That deepened my shyness and fed my fantasies. I wasn’t spanked beyond puberty, but I didn’t know for sure that I was past spanking age (nobody told me that), so I had a fear, and a fantasy, of being spanked with girls in the house throughout my adolescence. I still have those fantasies today. My shyness, and my submissive tendencies, developed further during my adolescent years because I was aware that my sisters and their girlfriends were all sexually precocious compared to me. That made me feel like I continued to be a little boy as my sisters and their friends, even the younger ones, were becoming young women. That’s how being surrounded by girls actually increased my sexual shyness. Because of my shyness, I remained a virgin until I was a senior in university! Maybe I would have remained a virgin forever had a not been taken in hand by a very sexually experienced woman who was a university class mate. When she got it out me, after inviting me to have coffee, that I was still a virgin, she was positively gleeful, and she decided to “educate” me. Educate me she did. She never actually spanked me, but our relationship had a D/s vibe because we both knew that she was out of my league. She was sometimes bossy with me, and not just in private. I guess you could say she knew how to spank me with words. I felt seriously humiliated by her sometimes, but I was addicted to the sex. I think that if the idea of spanking me had occurred to her, it would have amused her to do it, and I would have let her, and because of the emotional and sexual power imbalance it would not have been entirely consensual. I still fantasize about that today. I was devastated when she eventually dumped me. That was my only serious relationship before getting married to my wife.
      Doug

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    6. Tom, I have a high school reunion coming up. I attended my 20th, and for that one I was so tied up in how much people had changed, I wasn't focused on anything like picking up DD and spanking vibes. I have another one coming up this year, and it present more opportunity for more searching people watching.

      Delete
    7. Doug wrote : "I wonder whether there is a correlation between low confidence or self esteem during adolescence and our later desire for DD.."

      Nope!

      Alan

      p.s. More seriously,it is of course possible but I would want to see much more data on it. The opposite is just as likely,i.e. confidence inspires a guy to ask for DD.

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    8. That's a legit point, Alan. By the time I asked my wife for DD, we had been married for about 10 years, I was in a professional career and doing well. Generally, my confidence was way up by the time I asked for DD, and I might not have been able to ask for it otherwise.

      Delete
    9. Alan, I agree that that a lot more data would be needed to establish the kind of correlation I speculated about. The opposite could also be true, as you say.
      My own trajectory was similar to Dan’s, insofar as I was well into a pretty successful career and had been married for over decade before I developed a desire for DD and FLR. I didn’t want a WLM in the beginning. I was too proud and I would have found it too humiliating when I was young. I definitely wasn’t looking to reproduce the D/s vibe of that relationship I had with the woman at university before I met my wife. That relationship had been sexually thrilling, but it had wounded my pride and my self esteem, so I would have rejected any suggestion that I should be submissive to my wife. But when I discovered via the Internet that adult F/m spanking was a thing, it was as though a door opened into a forgotten part of psyche, a part that I thought I had outgrown. To this day , when my wife spanks me or bosses me around, I become the shy, sexually insecure youth I once was…and I am simultaneously aroused and embarrassed by that.
      Doug

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    10. Alan, I had an additional thought about the possible link between adolescent sexual shyness and a later desire for FLR/DD…for some of us, not necessarily everyone. Psychologically we change and grow throughout life, but the people we were at every point in life continue to exist under the surface. Therefore, you will sometimes see big, powerful guys break down and cry when recalling some traumatic incident from childhood. In that moment, they are still the traumatized child. (I have experienced that myself in therapy). Now, consider a guy who was very shy with girls in his youth, a guy like me. In my own experience, as I remember it, there was a D/s vibe to that shyness. When I was a horny, hormone addled 14 year old with a crush on one of my sister’s girlfriends, and I was too shy to reveal my feelings for fear that she and my sister might laugh at me, that was, in my mind, an early experience of a femdom power dynamic. Maybe it was only in my head. But it was still real. I even had a recurrent dream with a femdom vibe back then. In the dream, I would be completely naked at school. I would desperately try to hide so the girls wouldn’t see me, but there would be no place to hide, and the girls would laugh at me. I experienced that dream as an erotic nightmare. It is, therefore, no surprise that years later I have CFNM fantasies and am turned on by the CFNM aspect of F/m DD. When I got married years later, I seemed to have outgrown that D/s sexual dynamic. I felt that I was my wife’s equal. That feeling was bolstered by the fact that I had a successful career and was the main breadwinner. I was no longer that shy youth. But when, after a decade of marriage, I discovered that there were adult men who were submissive to women in the most primal and humbling way—being spanked like naughty little boys—an earlier version of myself was awakened.
      Doug

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  32. Hi Dan and all! Julie ex of strictjuliespanks here. Thanks for the concern. Indeed, my account got 'nuked by blogger. It was likely triggered by some recent stories where teens got spanked and had fantasies (though nothing sexual was ever done to them or by them with adults, if you don't count spanking, that is). If you look at the terms of service, my entire blog was entirely violating it (strictly speaking, nothing of a sexual nature, written or image, is allowed, regardless of age).

    You can email me at strictjuliedelmar at google if you want to get in touch, as I've lost all my contact infos.

    I still have my entire blog and all the images backed up. I'm thinking on whether or not I want to start up another blog, and if so, on what platform, and what its focus will be.

    I'm off on a little vacation for a bit, so don't expect anything until May or June.

    If I don't reappear, then it's been a blast!

    Julie

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    1. Shit! Just saw this! I was in the air and in airports most of yesterday! Sorry that happened.

      Delete
    2. I am sorry to hear what happened to your blog, Julie.
      But since we are talking fantasies, I am going to confess this: I have sometimes fantasized about being spanked by Julie. There are two reasons. 1. Many of her spanking stories excite me. 2. Her excursions into politics sometimes infuriate me.
      If I imagine that Julie was a friend of the family or even a relative, I would have VERY heated political arguments with her at family gatherings. So here’s my fantasy: my wife gets fed up with my constant vehement arguments with Julie, so to cure me of my political belligerence, she hands me over to Julie for a spanking. I imagine Julie gloating and taking great pleasure in putting me in my place in a very humiliating manner. That pushes a really hot button (pun intended) for me: having to submit to a spanking from a political opponent with whom I strongly disagree. I imagine Julie donning a MAGA hat for the occasion to really rub it in. *Arrrgh!*
      Doug

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    3. How about Julie's spanks you as part of forcing you to fill out your mail-in ballot, voting a straight Republican ticket? Now THAT would realy rub it in. ;-)

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    4. Well, Julie and I are both Canadian, so she would be forcing me to vote for the Conservative candidate in my riding, and I would be tearfully begging her, “No, please, Julie! I may not be too old to spank, but I’m certainly too old to vote Conservative!”
      (N.B. Polling here shows that a majority of men under 55 favour the Conservatives, while men over 55 and women of all ages are trending Liberal).
      Doug

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    5. You should be thanking Julie and Mr. Trump that your Liberal party has a decent chance in the upcoming election. Wasn't looking so good before Trump suddenly started treating Canada like an enemy.

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    6. “You should be thanking Julie and Mr. Trump that your Liberal party has a decent chance in the upcoming election. Wasn't looking so good before Trump suddenly started treating Canada like an enemy”.

      Indeed, Dan, the reversal of fortunes is almost miraculous. Two months ago it appeared that the Liberals were headed towards near annihilation at the hands of the “maple MAGA flavoured” Conservative Party, but the polling now shows that the Liberals have a chance of winning a majority government. Hmmm. Come to think of it, maybe I should get to spank Julie! I wonder if being spanked by a gloating opponent would turn her on too?
      Doug

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    7. Trump has almost guaranteed that the liberal party will win. This is good for Canada and can be counted as one of the good things Trump has done. The Liberals have made some mistakes in the past two years, but may have learned from them. Trudeau had to go before the liberal party could revive, and now they have. When the Liberals win, Trump, of course, will claim that was his plan all along. The guy’s a ( stable) genius.
      Alan

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    8. Alan, I agree that Trump has inadvertently done us a favour.
      Doug

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    9. Doug: "Polling here shows that a majority of men under 55 favour the Conservatives, while men over 55 and women of all ages are trending Liberal)"

      This maps well with US data on Trump . The manosphere is alive -if not well. Too many younger men are alienated from the rapid change -economic,cultural,sexual and geographical --now ongoing. It is understandably why people harmed by the rapid pace of change are opposed to it. But histories iron rule ,since at least Renaissance days, is unwavering. People on the wrong side of change get run over by it. That is happening in Canada too, but Canada with its more communitarian culture is more likely to survive it.

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    10. I hope Canada will survive it. I hope the USA will survive it too, but the situation in the USA looks really alarming.

      Delete
  33. Sometimes the fantasy is not that complex. We have a very good relationship with DD embedded. I’m almost certain that any behavior of mine that is rude, disrespectful, moody & similar will result in a disciplinary session at some stage, that will be very uncomfortable at the time and for a while afterwards.

    However I often fantasise that she is ‘always on’ DD wise so that there is zero doubt for either of us on the ‘if …. Then’ construct. In other words zero tolerance for any boundary crossing. And that every session was ‘merciless’ - hard, relentless and painful. (I’ve given up trying to work out why I want this’). I am convinced that my behaviour would quickly improve and that we would both be happier/ even more content.

    I have tried to articulate this to her and she says she gets it and is supportive but we quickly revert to our ‘normal’ DD where I ‘get away’ with behaviours and then there is a reckoning when she’s finally had enough.

    Seems like a simple change to me but is yet I have failed to get this fantasy realised…. TB

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    1. I often have similar fantasies about "zero tolerance". I have no doubt my behavior and attitude would improve. I'm less sure about whether we would both be happier or more content. It would be such a big change, and such an ego challenge, that I really don't know how it would feel. I have no doubt it would be extremely challenging and probably upsetting at first. What I like to think but can't be sure of is that it would get much better for both of us over time.

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    2. Which for me raises the fundamental question for DD relationships: do we really want to change behaviour & improve or do we just need/want to be in a relationship where we consent to receiving corporal punishment? To being spanked? Speaking purely personally, I am keen to continue to change & improve; the spanking aspect feels like both a reward & a punishment…TB

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    3. I agree, and I think that in areas that need improvement and haven't improved, a move toward something like "zero tolerance" would be appropriate. I'm just not sure that even though I am attracted it it in principle, that it wouldn't feel like "too much" at the time. But, it's supposed to feel like "too much", right?

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    4. “Which for me raises the fundamental question for DD relationships: do we really want to change behaviour & improve or do we just need/want to be in a relationship where we consent to receiving corporal punishment? To being spanked?”

      I’ll be honest. I wasn’t motivated by a desire for self improvement. I wanted my wife to spank me. She was reluctant at first. But when she agreed, I had to agree that DD would be part of a full FLR. That means that she alone decides what behaviours or attitudes I should be spanked for. I have sometimes suggested that she should spank me for certain behaviours like eating junk food or failing to work out or procrastinating. However, she refuses to be duty bound to spank me for any purposes other than her own. I like the idea of “zero tolerance” for certain behaviours I feel a need to improve upon, but my wife is uninterested in policing behaviours that don’t inconvenience or bother her directly.
      Doug

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  34. Dan, like you my main desire was to have a wife who was strict and took the role as disciplinarian and authority in the relationship seriously. I didn't see it as maternal at the time but now that I got what I asked for AND some I can see it as maternal/parental in retrospect. How seriously and fully my wife filled her role has kind of made our relationship a default FLR. She has the final say. This is kind of a detour but one thing that surprises me and maybe the word fantasy brought it to mind but I am surprised at how many comments on your blog reference being intimate/having sex during or after a spanking. To me that would turn the entire dynamic into something else fetish or BDSM adjacent compared to how I currently see my FLR DD relationship. Also my wife would never be in the mood for sex after having scolded and spanked me for my behavior. It would be weird or counter intuitive to us. I would say living in an FLR DD relationship for me was a fantasy but not a sexual fantasy. Maybe that is its own discussion. - DD

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  35. One of my fantasies is that my partner tells a lady friend or a sister about our DD. She has told several friends that she spanks me, but I assure they assume it is just kinky fun. Of course the real charge of DD is that she actually has the power and authority to spank me anytime she wants. There was a moment when I was driving recklessly with her and 2 lady friends in the car. She gave me "the look", but that would have been the perfect opportunity for her to say "I am going to give you a spanking as soon as we get home" That would certainly have led to lots of discussion and embarrassment for me. I have encouraged her to use the word "spanking" rather than some euphemism, which she now does. Like a few other lucky folks, I have been able to experience most of my fanticies, including serving at a tea party for a woman and her friends. I was wearing only a flimsy apron, which was open at the back, and they were all encouraged to spank me. That was before I discovered real DD, and getting together with my partner. DD has proven to be better than any fantasy I could come up with. My sweetie is quite accommodating, and sometimes seems to understand me better than I do myself. And she spanks me often. We would both enjoy sharing our DD with another like minded couple, and we did meet up once, and may again.

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    1. You're right, that was the perfect opportunity for your partner to let her friend know. Anne hasn't done anything like that yet, but I can see how it might happen if I were to say or do something to make her really pissed off while we were with someone else.

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  36. I have an office workplace fantasy in which head managers have the power to administer disciplinary spankings to subordinates of various levels within their department. Since bottoms are bared for spankings, they are done in the privacy of the manager’s office. However, to make sure that spankings are done properly, according to company policy and with no sexual impropriety, they are always witnessed by the senior secretary in the department as well as a representative of the Human Resources Department. The resulting spankings can be M/m, M/f, F/m, or F/f, but the HR witness is always a woman. People in the department know that a spanking is about to happen when the HR rep reports to the head manager’s office bearing the regulation paddle and strap. Thus, when someone is summoned to the office after the HR rep, they have to endure a walk of shame because everyone knows they are going to be spanked. They also know that the office will fall silent during their spanking so everyone can hear. Spankings are rare enough that many employees get through their entire career without being spanked, and that rarity heightens the embarrassment and the effectiveness of being spanked. I imagine a scenario in which there is fierce competition between two leading contenders, a man and a woman, for an upcoming vacancy of head manager. The office politics are fierce, with both candidates bad mouthing the other among the factions supporting them. For that reason, it becomes inevitable that whoever wins is going to spank the loser, not just because of personal animosity, but to assert clear hierarchical authority. In my preferred version of this fantasy, the woman gets the promotion, and it is with a great sense of satisfaction that she summons her defeated opponent to her new corner office to establish her dominance by spanking him in front of her secretary and the young woman from HR.
    Doug

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  37. I fantasize about having a firm youthful butt like the guy bent over the hay bail in the picture Dan posted.

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  38. Do any of you guys ever look at M/f or F/f spanking pictures and fantasize that you are the woman being spanked? I must confess that I do. I think my identity as submissive is almost as strong as my gender identity.
    Doug

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    1. Not really in terms of fantasizing. But, my reaction to F/m and M/f or F/f content is pretty similar. If anything, I have stronger reactions to pictures of women on the receiving end than men, because I'm very into facial expressions, and the women tend to be more emotive

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    2. I've never been that much of a visual persons, so I don't view videos and photographs of spankees of either gender very often.

      However, I do sometimes "project myself" into the role of the females in literature undergoing CP, particularly if they are F/f scenarios. Frankly, there is simply much more, and much higher quality literature of females under CP than of male spankees.

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    3. "If anything, I have stronger reactions to pictures of women on the receiving end than men, because I'm very into facial expressions, and the women tend to be more emotive" - Me too. While in general I don't care much about pictures of women being spanked, if their faces show obvious distress then suddenly it captures my attention, especially if the one doing the spanking is female, as Donn kind of alludes to.

      -ZM

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    4. I agree with you guys that the facial expressions of women being spanked are interesting. But, let’s be honest, it’s nice to look at their bottoms too. ;-)
      I sometimes joke to my wife that it’s a shame I’m the one who needs to be spanked, considering that she has a sexier, more spankable bottom.
      Doug

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    5. Dan and Doug:

      I came across a (Chinese?) spanking video website about four weeks ago that simply blew me away with the number of much older, complete videos it had from many of the major US production houses. (Much higher quality productions and video than "Spanking Tube" and "X-Hamster!")

      It has a lot of other stuff, but the overall navigation on the site is difficult because of it's mostly in Chinese. You can however conduct searches in English from this page:

      https://universal.spankingcloud.org/public-videos

      Anyway, I came across a bunch of the old Pacific Force videos of "school-girl" spankings, many of which starred the famous "Mistress Jacqueline" as the disciplinarian.

      There was one long video that I thought you might both might find interesting (very pretty female behinds, and many shots of facial expressions). "Mistress Jacqueline" does NOT "play around" when she swings her paddle. Since the original video is almost an hour long, the website also offers it as six (6) individual "scenes," each with a different "college coed" . . .

      "College Girls Paddled After School -- Mistress Jacqueline"

      (https://universal.spankingcloud.org/public-videos?search=paddled+after+school)

      Scene 2: https://universal.spankingcloud.org/public-videos/2076

      Scene 3: https://universal.spankingcloud.org/public-videos/2077

      Scene 4: https://universal.spankingcloud.org/public-videos/2078

      Scene 5: https://universal.spankingcloud.org/public-videos/2079

      Scene 6: https://universal.spankingcloud.org/public-videos/2080

      Scene 7: https://universal.spankingcloud.org/public-videos/2081

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  39. We’re in a hotel on a city break. We’ve been here 4 days. My wife as usual has befriended the room service ladies. I’d been bad tempered & rude and went out for a walk on my own. When I get back the room was empty and there is a note on the bed.
    ‘You’ve been rude & misbehaved badly! You definitely need a wake-up call & I have asked one of the room service ladies to deal with you. Call this number and tell her you’re ready.’

    I nervously call the number to say I’m ready. Five minutes later the door opens and one of the solidly built maids enters with a cane & strap under her arm. In an extremely businesslike manner she instructs me to undress and get into position, after which she delivers a long, completely unemotional beating which leaves me crying & begging.

    My wife returns right at the end and they cheerfully discuss what a very good job the maid has done whilst I recover in position. I am then allowed to get up and apologise to one and thank the other. TB

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    1. I recently read a fantasy where a college boy, traveling with his parents and staying in a separate hotel room, wakes in the middle of the night and decides to indulge his kink for sulking around in the nude, enjoying the thrill it gives him. Thinking no one is awake, he believes he's getting away with it, but he wasn't careful enough with his door and finds himself locked out upon his return. Panic grips him, amplified greatly when a young woman from security arrives. She hands him a sheet and directs him to follow her to an empty room in a deserted wing of the hotel. There, she informs him that she saw all his antics on the surveillance cameras and berates him. 'I know what you were doing, you sicko,' she says, 'and if you want me to let you back into your room without informing your parents, you're going to have to take a hard, bare-assed belt whipping, like I used to get.' He reluctantly agrees, and she has him kneel on a chair and tears up his backside, whipping him long and hard, lecturing him throughout the ordeal. After allowing him some recovery time, she hands him back the sheet and escorts him back to his room. Once she opens the door, she hands him her business card with her personal cell number written on the back, saying, 'If you're ever tempted to act this way again, give me a call, and we'll meet up. I'll bring my belt.'
      Tom

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