Sunday, July 14, 2024

The Club - Meeting 482 - Pervertable Furniture Pieces and Spanking Rituals

“Purification and redemption are such recurrent themes in ritual because there is a clear and ubiquitous need for them: we all do regrettable things as a result of our own circumstances, and new rituals are frequently invented in response to new circumstances.” ― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

 

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led (FLR) relationships.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to our female readers to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We miss having you around.

 

I hope you all had a great week.  Mine was pretty sedate, but I’m having a hard time bouncing back and recovering from my recent adventure trip.  Anne’s also working through an annoying injury. It feels like we’re both kind of limping our way through the summer.  This getting old thing isn’t for sissies.

 


I thought the post on our respective ideas about the “ideal” domestic discipline or FLR arrangement might generate a little more interest, but apparently many of our readers are as distracted with summer activities as I have been.  But, thank you to those who did participate.  A couple of common themes—neither of which I found surprising—is most of our participants’ “ideal” seems to include a high degree of consistency coupled with a high degree of initiative/control on our wives’ part. In other words, our ideal seems to be a wife who is consistent and strict and who initiates that strictness instead of responding to our prompting/pestering. 

 

I was also heartened that multiple emphasized that the few “tweaks” they might like to experience did not mean that they were not highly satisfied with their current DD relationship and are, instead, very grateful for their wife’s willingness to take part in it.

 

For this week, I’m once again not getting a lot of inspiration. And, it doesn’t seem like many of our regulars are paying attention right now anyway. So, I thought I’d follow up on a topic suggestion that may or may not add up to a full topic.  Several weeks ago, MW made this suggestion.

 

“This might not deserve a whole topic, but: upgrading the spanking-compatible furniture is surprisingly tricky! First, it has to look innocent and work with the room. Second, it has to fit a large man draped over it nicely. How exactly do you test this? Third, what do husband and wife each want from the positions and moods encouraged by the furniture?”

 

Al added:

 

"There are some interesting ideas here. Combining a spanking furniture topic with a spanking ritual topic might contain enough discussion points for a good week of discussion - they seem to go together. . . .”

 

So, let’s go with those.

 

We’ve never seemed to have much trouble adapting our existing furniture for spanking purposes.  At one time or another, I’ve been spanked laying over her lap on a sofa, over the arm of a sofa, over the back of sofa, propped up on pillows on a bed, bent over a bed, over a footstool, and even draped over a large exercise ball.

 

 

For most of our DD relationship, we were not doing OTK. That changed over the last couple of years, to the point that it’s now our preferred position.  When we’re at home, virtually every spanking is with her seated on a large ottoman that is at the foot of our bed.  Kind of like this one. 

 


Before we started using it for OTK, we would place a thick, solid meditation cushion on top of the ottoman, and I would drape myself over them. She would stand over me with her preferred instrument, and strike downward.  These days, she sits on the ottoman, and I drape myself across her lap.

 

 

Other common furniture items have their upsides and downsides. The arms of a sofa are generally relatively comfortable for longer sessions and at the right height for a paddle or cane.

 

The back of a sofa also works well, though its height can be (a) an advantage in that it may stretch the muscles taut, resulting in a harsher spanking; or (b) a disadvantage if it’s just too high to be manageable. Also, with a sofa you may be limited by its position in the room and, of course, they tend to be located in more publicly accessible parts of the house.

 


 The bed is a very flexible piece of spank-friendly furniture.  In the early days, I received many strappings while laying on the bed, with pillows elevating my ass.  But, it required a lot of movement on her part, walking around from one side of the bed to the other, to ensure equal treatment of both cheeks.  And, since we have a king-size bed, she sometimes had to reach a bit or I had to move around more. 

 


More generally, it wasn’t a position either of us seemed to like. I felt like the bounciness of the bed absorbed or dissipated too much of the force, and I had to have my head to one side or the other in order to breathe.  We still use it occasionally, most often when we are away and there is not another good alternative, and then usually with her sitting on the bed and me over her lap.

 

 

There are also stools in any variety of heights.   

 

 

Although I have pictures and drawings of the spanker sitting on a stool, they don’t look very stable and would seem to be better for draping the spankee over than as an OTK-friendly piece.

 

 

Of course, one of the most iconic pieces of spank-friendly furniture is the common kitchen chair.  However, in all these years, I’m not sure we’ve ever used one for that purpose.  No matter how traditional, it always seemed like a fairly awkward piece for OTK.  

 


And, I’m not a very tall guy, which made draping myself over the back a big challenge, though it obviously depends on the type of chair and the size of the man.

 

 

I do see how it could be a very useful as a means of bracing oneself during a paddling.

 

 

And, of course, one thing I have to give to the common chair is the shock and intimidation factor if you come home and find one positioned suggestively in the middle of the living room. Placing an implement on it seems almost superfluous.

 

 

How about you?  What items of furniture have you adapted for spanking purposes? Have you ever shopped for a piece of furniture with its spanking potential in mind? How did you go about evaluating its spank-friendliness while in the store?

 

Regarding Al’s suggestion to explore spanking rituals, please describe any rituals you and your partner follow immediately before, during, or after a spanking.  

 

 

I’m not going to go into a lot of detail around ours, as I’ve referred to bits and pieces of it so many times.  Instead, I’ll make the more general point that over the years, we’ve reduced or eliminated much of the ritual, and I think we’re both glad.  It sometimes felt like spankings were a big event with dedicated locations, multiple instruments, multiple changes in position, etc.  I think it subtly influenced Anne’s consistency in a negative way, by making each one feel like an elaborate and somewhat laborious, time-consuming affair.  I get the sense that we both feel it’s become much more manageable now that we’ve simplified things down to OTK, the ottoman, and a couple of tools, for the vast majority of spankings.

 

I hope you all have a great week.

Friday, July 5, 2024

The Club - Meeting 481 - The "Ideal" Domestic Discipline or FLR Relationship

"To do great things is difficult, but to command great things is more difficult." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led (FLR) relationships.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to our female readers to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We miss having you around.

 

Wow, it seems like a long time since we’ve gotten together, doesn’t it?  Or perhaps my sense of time is just warped after over a week of adventuring in areas where the day of the week didn’t matter for much.  We got off into some pretty desolate areas, including long, long stretches in which we didn’t see other human beings for many hours.

 


It turned into a pretty rough adventure. One of those that reminds me that some things are just a hell of a lot harder in my 50s than they would have been when I was a decade or two younger.  I came back from the trip very wiped out, and it’s taking me longer to recover than anticipated. I also took a fall that was pretty bad and may have done some lasting damage.  But, all in all, I came back in a better frame of mind than I did the last time I did something similar. This time it felt more like a real growth experience.



Last time, there were some careless mistakes on my part that left me very pissed off and disappointed with myself. Nothing on that scale happened this time around, though there was one instance in which I acceded to someone else’s risk-taking decision, we paid a pretty significant price for it, and it could have been a lot worse. But, all in all, it was an improvement over last time, and I feel like maybe focusing some attention on “carelessness”—and to some extent making it a focus for our DD—may be paying off a bit.

 

Probably because I came back so exhausted from the trip, I’m at a low-ebb where DD interest is concerned.  Thankfully, I have a small backlog of topic suggestions.  A couple of weeks ago, TB suggested this one:

 

“In terms of future discussions, I am interested in what people see as the 'ideal' DD relationship? What would it look like, feel like, how would your partner behave, talk, act, what changes would they ideally like to see in their current DD relationship? May have been covered before but I have tried to describe this many times to my wife with varying success...”

 

I’m a little leery about this topic because, although it hasn’t been a huge issue, from time to time we get commenters who like to complain about all the ways in which their wives are failing to cater to every aspect of their spanking fetish.  I get the sense they are constantly asking their partner to step it up in way or another, despite the fact that few women find being pestered attractive.

 

On the other hand, I believe that communication is key to these relationships. Our wives aren’t mind readers, and if handled in the right way, letting them know what we want or think we need can be helpful.

 

So, I think this is a topic worth exploring, and hopefully it won’t degenerate into a bitch session about each and every thing we find lacking in our DD and FLR relationships.

 

I will kick it off.

 

Strong maternal element. Over the last couple of years, I’ve come to some realizations about the extent to which I want the DD aspects of our relationship to have a strong maternal element. However, it’s easier for me to say that in the abstract than to articulate how that would look in terms of TB’s specific questions as to how my partner would behave, talk, and act.

 


Preliminarily, I think it would involve an element of her having the undisputed primary role in making and enforcing the rules.  Ideally, it would be close to the “my house, my rules” attitude many of us experienced growing up; almost arbitrary assertions of authority that put one in one’s place far more than agreed-upon rules.

 

It would also entail an increased level of strictness around the rules and an increasing emphasis on obedience for obedience’s sake. Again, that dynamic would emphasize the hierarchy inherent in a real maternal dynamic.

 

 

When it came time for discipline, there would be a more explicit adoption of a full-on maternal dynamic, with both the words and the tone emphasizing her maternal role, with me being reduced to something like a surly teenager who has earned a real blistering and is going to get one.

 


I want to emphasize that, while we are not living this maternal “ideal,” we have taken steps in that direction this year, and I very much appreciate Anne’s efforts in exploring it with me. 

 

Strictness and control.  Independent of the whole maternal dynamic, for me the ideal includes more strictness and less letting me get away with excuses and explanations.  It means setting high standards and then enforcing them rigorously. It also means that the strictness would ideally be something she initiates, as opposed to me asking for or suggesting it. 

 


There would be a real, “This is how it’s going to be, and it’s going to happen whether you like it or not” aspect to it all.

 


Consistency and frequency. “Consistency” is probably just another word for strictness.  It’s always been a challenge for us. Rules and standards get set, but the consequences are unpredictable and often all-too-easily avoided.  I also think there probably needs to be some increased frequency. 

 

A few weeks ago, I was over Anne’s knee, receiving a well-deserved butt blistering for an offense that has happened many times.  During a short pause she asked, “Do I just need to spank you more often?”  Although her question was rhetorical, the literally true answer is almost certainly “yes.” When I’m being honest with myself and her, it’s a rare week that I don’t do something that would probably merit a spanking in an ideally strict environment.   

 

 

Yet, they tend to happen more like monthly than weekly.  It seemed like we were moving toward a regime emphasizing more frequency, but it kind of sputtered out.

 

Openness.  Part of me really wants her authority to be on more open display. In the past, I had strong negative reactions to being embarrassed, yet paradoxically I often feel a need to have others know or suspect the nature of our relationship.  Moreover, I find her rare open displays of authority sexy as hell. At least in retrospect.

 

 

Again, I want to emphasize that overall I’m very happy with our dynamic.  I don’t need the “ideal,” and I appreciate all her efforts over the years. 

 

I also recognize that asking for the ideal carries a huge “be careful what you wish for; you might get it” risk.  With that in mind, I’ll add this to TB’s questions: "Have you ever pushed for your ideal, gotten it, then found it was too much or very different from what you thought it would be?”

 

Have a great week. 

Wednesday, July 3, 2024

Happy Independence Day - Be Safe Out There


Well, my post-adventuring week has kind of spiraled out of control, with a bunch of unanticipated things I need to get done, plus a computer failure.  So, I think I'm just going to wait to post until this weekend, getting things back to the normal cycle. 

In the meantime, I hope all of you in the U.S. have a fun and relaxing Independence Day.



Monday, July 1, 2024

I'm Back - But Posting Delayed

Hi all.  Just a quick update.  I am back from my trip, a little physically worse for the wear, unfortunately.  Adventuring at this age is tougher on the body. I am intending to post this week but have a bunch of post-trip distractions to deal with.  Hopefully, I'll post in the next day or two.

Saturday, June 15, 2024

The Club - Meeting 480 - Spanking Instruments You Prefer or Dread

“We shape our tools and afterwards our tools shape us.” - Marshall McLuhan

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led (FLR) relationships.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to our female readers to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We miss having you around.

 

I hope you all had a good week.  I’m still neck-deep in planning for a motorcycle trip.  At this point, I probably have more time into planning and buying stuff than the trip will actually take. But, hopefully, that will make the next trip like this more of a turnkey process. I also had to research and buy some additional safety gear, largely to keep Anne happy.

 

 

Just a heads-up about my plans for posting the rest of this month:  I’ll be around most of the upcoming week, but from Friday on I’ll be off-line for the better part of eight or nine days.  So, I won’t be posting next weekend, and there’s a pretty good chance that a one-week hiatus may turn into two. 

 

Near the end of our discussion a week ago, Antonio had the following topic suggestion:

 

It seems most of us are both aroused and terrified when we know a spanking is imminent. Or some emotions along that line. My question is for those whose partner has an assortment of tools in their arsenal: When you are about to get disciplined, is there one implement that you hope she uses and one that you are terrified that she might use?

 

Alan added:

 

That might be an interesting topic. But excepting the rubber paddle or strap, I think my wife can use any of the paddles, brushes or straps in our collection and reach the same END result. Put differently they are hurt like hell if she wants that to happen. So, to me an interesting part of it would be why you prefer one instrument or dread another. What is going on there?

 

I admit, I’m usually not super enthusiastic about tools/instruments topics.  But, people do seem to respond to them. And, they don’t take much work on my end, and since I’m fairly busy this weekend . . . let’s go with those.

 

Implicit in Antonio’s articulation of the topic is the assumption that the wife chooses the implements she will use for each session.  That used to be how we approached it, but not so much anymore.

 

For several years, I kept a huge variety of paddles, straps, and brushes in a small locked suitcase.  When told to prepare for a spanking, I typically would bring out the whole suitcase, and she would choose among them.  Often, she would go through five or six instruments each session.  But, back in those days we rarely used OTK, so she was usually on her feet and able to move back and forth between the tool suitcase and the ottoman or whatever other piece of furniture I was draped over.

 

These days, her bath brush and ebony hairbrush are always on open display in our master bathroom.  When she orders a spanking, I often bring her just those two instruments, placing them beside the ottoman where she can easily reach them while I’m draped over her lap. In addition to being more effective for an OTK session, I think we’ve both concluded that keeping things simple this way seems to help with consistency, as each session feels like less of a big production than was the case in the old days.

 

Alternatively, last year I bought her a personalized knife/chefs roll, which I loaded up with several small paddles and straps.

 

Interestingly, Anne seems not to care whether I bring her only the two instruments or the full roll.  I’m not sure why, but perhaps it relates to Alan’s observation that virtually all of her tools can be effective disciplinary instruments if used with sufficient determination and enthusiasm.

 


Moreover, since the bath brush has become by far her “go-to” instrument, I know that every single spanking is going to hurt like hell.  Interestingly, when preparing this post, I found this post from 2018, in which I noted that Anne typically did not gravitate to the bath brush even though it was extremely effective.  My how things have changed, and it’s a good lesson about being careful what you wish for.

 

The first part of Antonio’s question was “When you are about to get disciplined, is there one implement that you hope she uses . . .”  As phrased, for me the answer is no.  When I’m about to be disciplined, I know it’s almost certainly going to include the bath brush, and no amount of hoping is likely to result in her using only some milder instrument.

 

During the spanking, however, I often hope that she will switch from the bath brush to the ebony hairbrush midway through, because the latter doesn’t hurt quite as much no matter how vigorously she uses it.  

 


As for which instrument I want to avoid at all costs, Alan noted that rubber straps and paddles are in a category all their own.  I agree with that.  There was a time when we had several rubber straps, including one kind of like this:

 

 

It was a truly terrifying instrument but, while undeniably effective, it also had a tendency to break the skin and Anne was not OK with that.  I eventually tossed all the rubber instruments into the trash can.

 

So, thankfully, rubber instruments are no longer something I need to dread. However, there is one other instrument that Anne uses that I believe tops her trusty bath brush when it comes to delivering a wicked, deep sting.  It’s this custom paddle I bought from a vendor on Etsy:

 

 

It’s roughly the same length as her bath brush, but the head is smaller, which concentrates the full force of the swing onto a smaller surface area.  I think the hardwood also is denser than the lighter wood her bath brush is made with.

 

One other tool I don’t like one bit is a short leather paddle like the one in this pic, which I received as a gift from Aunt Kay’s husband.  

 


When used in the OTK position, it’s fairly tolerable. But, Anne used to use it a lot with me draped over the ottoman and a thick cushion, elevating my butt to meet her downward swing.  That little paddle doesn’t look that intimidating, but the end had a tendency to find its way right between the cheeks, delivering a devastatingly painful sting right in the crack of my ass.

 

So, how about you? Are there particular instruments you prefer or, conversely, an instrument you particularly dread?

Monday, June 10, 2024

Post Unlikely This Week

 Hi all. I hope you had a good weekend and that your week is off to a good start.  I'm distracted by some other things right now and, frankly, I'm kind of burned out on writing at the moment.  If inspiration strikes me out of the blue, I may post later.  If not, have a great week.

Sunday, June 2, 2024

The Club - Meeting 479 - Before and After the Spanking

“Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” — George Bernard Shaw

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led (FLR) relationships.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to our female readers to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We miss having you around. 


I hope you all had a good week.  I’ve been neck deep in planning for a challenging motorcycle trip. Although I can’t help feeling some discomfort at being so effectively spied upon, my on-line shopping for motorcycle gear seems to be having a nice influence on the kind of stuff that shows up on my Tumblr feed, such as this little gem that follows on the similar pic I posted last week:

 

 

Last week’s discussion was—what’s the word I’m looking for?—I guess “irritating” will do.  Hence my relative lack of participation. 

  

I’ve learned over the last ten years that one challenge in running a topic-oriented blog is drawing the right line between enforcing the weekly topic, on the one hand, and letting the conversation develop organically, on the other. I actually like when a weekly conversation goes in different, unanticipated directions. It keeps things interesting and is one of my best sources of ideas for future topics. 


But, there is some line, even if I can’t articulate exactly where it is. Last week, the very first comment was from someone clearly from BDSM world, who either didn’t read the post or consciously ignored the topic, turning a topic about using pre-spanking orgasms to enhance punishment into a comment on using spanking to punish orgasms.  As if there is any connection at all between those two.  One of the very next comments flipped the topic to post-spanking sex, which again, other than sharing the general concepts or orgasms and spankings had absolutely zero to do with the actual topic, and was itself kind of BDSM-ish in emphasizing the role of spanking in enhancing sex. Then, the multi-part description of what was basically a BDSM encounter. 


I guess it’s true that no good deed goes unpunished, and I blame myself to an extent for opening up the discussion the previous week to BDSM.  I was really happy that the discussion that week stayed focused and pertinent to the relationship between BDSM and DD, i.e. on the actual topic on the table.  But, it seems that opening it up to BDSM at all created a negative pillover effect the following week. 

  

Oh well.  Sometimes you have to give something a try, see what happens, and adjust as necessary. 


The unfortunate thing is, I really was interested in the topic of post-orgasm spankings as part of a DD regimen, even if we haven’t done it ourselves.  It’s one of those topics I have a morbid fascination with, though it’s one that I have enough real fear around that I’ve never even secretly hoped to experience it.   

 

Apparently, many of you feel the same.  I especially liked this comment from Alan regarding how it seems to arise, when it does:

 

In my experience, men don’t bring it up—at least, I never did. My wife knew about it from prior relationships, and my former GF discovered it similarly to the way you first encountered it. Both women who have disciplined me would have accepted it as a hard limit while not being comfortable with that position. My wife’s position is that it should be something she can use if she thinks necessary. My former Gf’s position was that putting it off bounds was a limitation on the authority “You told me was unlimited”

Our ongoing agreement is that my wife can use it in a couple of clear and well-defined situations. But she would be happier if there were no limits, not because she would use it often but because it is a powerful deterrent. I can’t disagree with the latter.

 

Indirectly, I have sort of brought it up to Anne, by making it a weekly topic a few times, as she does read the blog fairly regularly.  She has never brought it up, though I don’t read much into that, because it’s pretty rare that she does bring up my blog posts or your comments.

 

I have, from time to time, thought about bringing it up to her directly, exclusively on the premise that it would be, as Alan has called it, the “nuclear option,” to be used for highly problematic conduct that “normal” spankings have not succeeded in eliminating or substantially moderating.

 

What holds me back?  Well, first, because somehow without ever experiencing one, I can intuit how bad a post-orgasm spanking would be.  Second, as I’ve described, Anne tends to be very binary in her spanking approach. It’s either nothing or 100%.  So, I share some of Alan’s concerns about whether it would come to be used on a too-regular basis or for less serious behavior. Third, as I said, Anne does read the blog, so it’s not like I’m hiding this option from her. 


For this week’s topic, I’m going to turn to Alan again.  He recently suggested this topic idea and helpfully included enough detail that this week’s post virtually wrote itself: 


"A possible future topic: The before and after of disciplinary spanking.

 

Context- Before and After studies are practically a fixture of any new product, process, behavior, or phenomenon. Spanking isn’t new, but its impact (pun noted) on both the spanked and the spanker is a bit of an unknown. 


My former girlfriend told me that there was a direct line between my bum and my brain. That may be more than a metaphor. Recent neurological research has been discussing a “second brain,” not quite in the glutes but in the bottom, adjacent to the intestinal system. That’s close enough for me.

 

Several commentators on this blog have noted how their wives have changed their minds or views in the aftermath of a spanking. I have experienced this personally -being spanked when I thought she was wrong but feeling very differently when the spanking was over. 


So, it might be interesting to ask for descriptions of the difference, if any, in the way a male under female discipline feels before he is spanked compared to after he is spanked. Equally interesting would be the difference, if any a female disciplinarian feels before and after.

 

The underlying topic here is the effect on the male of receiving a disciplinary spanking from a female. This question is distinct from the cumulative effect of multiple spankings over an interval of time. This might be an interesting topic, but it's not what I am proposing now."

 

So, let’s go with that. It's interesting to note that as some of the memes in this post illustrate, it often seems to be the wife's express purpose to bring about the kind of attitude change Alan's girlfriend noted. It may include the express goal of making him accept her view on things.



 Or, she might be focused on punishing the "before" attitude itself.

 

 

The old adage that "talk is cheap" might also be in play.  The husband may have apologized profusely for some bit of bad behavior, but she has come to believe that it's important to take firm action that guarantees he is really sorry, i.e. that a professed "before" and "after" change is real.

 

 

 As for how I personally change, I’ll begin with the specific example Alan raised of feeling my wife was wrong about something before she spanked me for it, but changing my mind during or after the spanking. 


For me, the mental shift Alan described has happened, but it’s not quite that black and white.  It’s been rare that our views on the rightness or wrongness of either my behavior or her punishing it were diametrically opposed.  More often, it’s been that we’ve had a big argument about something (rare for us), and my ego and obstinance during the argument led me to reject her view of things out of hand, even though it should have been clear there were two sides to the issue. Often, when the spanking is over, I will be much more open to her point of view, even if I still recognize the validity of my own.

 

There have also been a couple of times when she gave me a strong, stinging lecture and a hard spanking for behavior that she had big problems with but that I didn’t see as an issue at all or didn’t feel like it should be “spankable.” In those cases, I did often come around closer to her view after a spanking—or at least I was more able to acknowledge her perspective—though in a couple of cases it took days or even weeks after the spanking. 

 


 The biggest delta between my “before” and “after” state has probably been when Anne has spanked me for something that I’ve seen as spankable but fairly trivial, while she spanked me as if it was a major offense. Things like failing to do an assigned chore.  Because that sort of thing is minor in the scheme of things, I tend to go into the spanking anxious about what is about to happen—or on at least one occasion not feeling particularly anxious because I wrongly anticipated a minor spanking for a minor offense—but feeling no particular remorse or need for penance.  After what turned out to be a very hard spanking, I still didn’t feel a lot of remorse, but I felt much, much more vulnerable to her exercise of her power and authority, and unsettled about the fact that she made a decision to spank so hard for something that mattered to her if not to me.  It reinforced the reality of the power shift in a very profound way.

 

Conversely, the least delta between my “before” and “after” mental state happens when we both are on the same page that what I’ve done is both serious and spankable. In those cases, I generally come into the spanking feeling anxious about the spanking but also recognizing its necessity and “rightness.” When it’s over, I usually feel like my need to be held accountable has been met, and I'm grateful for it.  It’s more a sense of relief or closure. And, I often feel very physically wrung out.  The last sentence of this meme does a remarkably good job of identifying how I usually feel a few minutes after a "normal" spanking. 

 


 How does Anne’s mental and emotional state change “before” and “after”? It’s hard to say, because she doesn’t open up about such stuff very much.  So, my comments are confined to how her demeanor appears to change, if at all, before and after. 


Ninety percent of the time, there is very little outward change in her demeanor.  She’s usually pretty business-like from beginning to end. If she displays any change of emotion before and after, it’s probably a hint of self-satisfaction at what she considers a job well done.

 

 

On the rare occasions when she’s very angry about something, there is perhaps even less “before” and “after” change in demeanor on display. She displays her anger and seriousness before, during, and to some extent after the spanking. Unlike a “normal” spanking, which very often leads to sex, after a spanking for something that has made her seriously mad, she is more likely to simply dismiss me at the end with a terse statement like, “That’s all. For now.”  This Jay Em illustration does a great job depicting a wife who is still pissed off after the spanking is over, and my own feelings of feeling physically "wrung out" after a really hard spanking.

 



 Tell us about the change in your mental or emotional state before and after a spanking?  This topic would be a great one to hear from the wives directly on but, if your wife isn’t interested in weighing in, please tell us about your perception of any “before” and “after” change you think she experiences. 


Have a good week.