Hello all. Welcome back to The Forum, our weekly gathering of men and women in, or who would like to be in, Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationships.
It was an odd week for me where all these themes we talk about--Domestic Discipline, Female Led Relationships, and submission in general--are concerned. I found myself, or at least my conduct, vacillating back and forth all week, and it's kind of been like that all year. As I noted at the beginning of the year, both my inner mischievous boy and my inner Alpha male seemed to be wanting to push to the forefront. That led me to think pretty seriously about whether I really, in my heart of hearts, wanted to keep exploring the FLR side of things, or whether a relationship confined to Domestic Discipline, i.e. getting spanked when I deserve one, was really all I need and want.
She isn't cutting loose fully yet, though we've also had a lot of family distractions getting in the way. What is changing again is I find myself really, really wanting her to cut loose. It doesn't necessarily mean big changes in what she does but, rather, in the way she engages with me. I want her to become the Alpha.
So, do I really want this? Taking our relationship in a direction in which she is even more explicitly in charge, and in charge of more things? Where I may be required to take more orders, subordinate myself more frequently and more openly? Truly, I don't know. Though, the fact that I have this trepidation is, in some ways, I sign that it's real. We're not talking about temporary role-play, but rather a real power exchange.
As for why I want it, I'm not really sure. Anna is right that part of it is probably that DD does seem to sort of naturally lead into something more sexualized, something more overtly kinky. Part of it is, I'm bored and need to try something new and different. And, part of it is conceding that while DD helps keep me in-line to some extent, it is a fairly limited extent as demonstrated by the ongoing nature of the some of the behavior problems. I feel like to get on top of them, I need to be subject to a level of control that is more pervasive, broader, deeper . . . more 24/7. I really want to at least try her stepping into a true Head of Household role, whatever that means in practice.
For those of you whose lifestyles are more than just DD and where the FLR aspect is more significant, what does that look like in terms of her authority? What is the communication like from her to you? What kind of decisions does she make? What control mechanisms does she use other than spanking?