Saturday, April 25, 2015

The Forum - Vol. 86 -

 Hello all.  I hope you had a good week and are enjoying the weekend. 

This week's topic comes from one of our Disciplinary Wives.  Anna suggested this topic:

"As a wife I would love to know what the ideal or dream scenario men find they think of most [regarding discipline]. That would include place, positon, verbal abuse or not, verbal warnings or not, weapons of choice. Position of choice and to me as a woman what sort of after care would they find would be best for them."

So guys, when you think about your ideal disciplinary relationship or scenario, what does it look like?  Let's also broaden it a bit to include our Disciplinary Wives' ideals and dreams.

Have a great week.


Saturday, April 18, 2015

The Forum - Vol. 85 - Poll Results & New Poll

Hi all.  Welcome back to the Forum. I hope you had a good week.  I thought last week's discussion was great, with many different views exchanged.

Another poll closed last week, this one aimed at our Disciplinary Wives.  It aksed what motivates them to participate in a DD or FLR lifestyle.  There were 32 responses, which is great.  Here are the results.

Makes me feel powerful
  10 (31%)
Give me more control over my life
  12 (37%)
Punishing his bad behvior clears the air
  14 (43%)
Punishment makes him behave better
  17 (53%)
He asked me to, so I accommodate iit but am not that into it
  7 (21%)
I am a natural Dominant, so this lifestyle fits me
  9 (28%)
  2 (6%)

It's an interesting distribution, and at least somewhat assuring that our Disciplinary Couples are in it for similar reasons.  The two highest responses both focused on the punishment aspect of DD, and the same was true of a poll we did of the husbands a few weeks ago.  For a significant number of couples, it appears that both spouses are motivated to use DD because it is designed to correct bad behavior.

Looking back at this poll, I probably could have done a better job with the options, though only 2 women chose "Other."  One option that is clearly missing is pure erotic or sexual motivation, i.e. using spanking and discpline because it is sexually arousing.  I also tied punishment to "clearing the air" and behavior modification, but maybe it serves other purposes, such as pure retaliation or giving the wife a way to voice her displeasure in a very concrete way, though that is sort of subsumed in "clearing the air."

In any event, in terms of using this as a springboard for further discussion, I would like to invite the women who participated to tell us a little more about why they do This Thing We Do, what they get out of it, and what purpose it serves in their relationship.   Guys, let's make the Disciplinary Wives feel welcome, which means using our manners.  Based on conversations with one of the few female FLR bloggers out there, I have come to realize that one reason there are, in fact, so few of them is any time one of them posts anything they get bomarded with a bunch of random strangers calling them Mistress or Goddess and hitting them up with variations of, "I know you're married, but if you would ever consider spanking someone other than your husband, I would be honored . . ."  None of that in relation to this post, please. 

I have also posted a new poll.  Like last time, this one is for the women.  As those who follow this blog and our polls know, a few months ago we ran a poll that confirmed that most men want their DD and FLR wives to be harder on them.  More strict, more controlling, and deliveirng more intense punishment.  The new poll asks the question, if that is what so many men want, what holds you back or makes it harder for you to assume that more strict and dominating role.

Have a great week.


Friday, April 10, 2015

The Forum - Vol. 84 - Age & Wisdom

Hi all.  I hope you had a great week.  For me, it was tiring, frustrating, disappointing.  Tiring, because of lack of sleep, some workplace socialzing, too many work hours, and too many hours laying in bed thinking about work.  Frustrating, because of just having too many things to do, and too few hours to do them in.  Disappointing, because I went into the week pledging to be a good citizen at work, and by the end of the week I had lost my temper a half-dozen times and generally engaged in all the behaviors that lead Anna to spank Peter at the office.  It happens, but I can tell I am in one of those phases where I really need to be reined in.

A few years ago, I probably wouldn't have been able to admit some of my behavior problems.  And, I definitely would not have taken responsibility for them, let alone asked someone to hold me responsible for them.  Which brings us to this week's topic.  Several weeks ago, we talked about a poll that tested the ages of our Forum participants, which revealed that a very large majority of our community are over the age of 50.  We also had a poll that revealed that is it usually the man who asks for the DD or FLR relationship.

So, why is it that older men, those in their late 40s and into their 50s, tend to be more open to, or actively seek, an FLR or DD relationship? Kathy at Femdom 101 commented that it is because older men are more mature.  I'm not sure I agree, or at least I don't understand exactly how maturity would lead to increased openness to being controlled or disciplined by your spouse.  My own working theory is that for many of us, it is our late 40s when we really hit our stride at work, being given much more authority and control, but that increased responsibilty drives a corresponding need to give up some of that control and responsibility to another person.   But, maybe there is a "sweetspot" where our need to be controlled or punished corresponds with sufficient maturity to recognize it and ask for it.  What are your thougths?

Have a great weekend.


Saturday, April 4, 2015

The Forum - Vol. 83 - Closet DD and FLR practitioners

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Forum.  I hope you all had a great week as we head into this Easter Weekend.  I must admit, it is becoming disconcerting the extent to which the seasons pass in the blink of an eye.  It seems like winter was here for a few moments, then just vanished. I'm just getting old I suppose -- complaining about time passing too fast and the various failings of the younger generation.

This week's topic is from one of our readers: Without naming names, do you know someone who you think might be living a DD or FLR relationship?

For my part, there are no couples we know who I strongly suspect might be into these relationships.  I do know some who I think desperately need it, but none who show signs of actually being in one. 

So, how about you?  Without naming names, is there someone in your life who shows signs of being into DD or FLR? An outwardly vanilla couple that you suspect keeps a hidden dungeon filled with spanking toys?  The neighbor who seems to receive a lot of elongated shipping packages just the right size for various paddles and canes?  That demure co-worker who displays hints of hidden kink?  Do tell.

 (Note that we have done a slight variation on this a couple of times before, where I asked whether readers knew people who aren't in DD but really should be, and each time it flopped.)

Have a great weekend.