“Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men.” -Thomas Huxley
Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club. Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship. I hope you all had a great week.
I suspected it would be a dangerous thing to ask this crowd for advice on what Anne should do about my recent forgetfulness, and rule-breaking, and arguing. Here’s a summary of the comments:
• “Once my wife punished each and every offense, my memory improved. It wasn't a conscious change. The spankings help condition me to perform my chore. If you are spanked every single time you leave the garage door open, eventually you will be conditioned to do it without thinking.”
• “I feel you should have been spanked for each occurrence of the garage door situation. We also try to punish as soon after the incident as possible. She would not wait till evening, but rather, upon finding the garage door open, immediately spank you for it.”
• “I feel that when it is a safety issue like the garage door that the response should be strict. You should have gotten a spanking for each and every instance.”
• “This is fairly simple in our house. If there are multiple offenses, then there are multiple spankings, usually on different days. If it is a repeat offense then it is multiple spankings, again on different days. A couple years ago this meant that for multiple, repeat offenses that were fairly serious for me, I got 2 a day, 3 days per week, for a month. It was just plain awful. ”
• “Like many others, I agree Anne should spank you each and every time the garage door is left open, or for any other thing you continue to do that annoys her. I get spanked quickly after any misbehavior.”
• “At least for me, mixing issues up in one session just doesn’t work. I would keep the spankings for different issues separate, especially because of the entirely different character of each offense (intentional or not, etc.). If this means multiple sessions, I think she should do them on sequential days and in increasing order of importance: forgetfulness, procrastination, and finally outright rule-breaking.”
• “The idea my wife and I have had, but never done, is that if she says I am to be spanked, I could choose to “challenge” it and explain why I thought I shouldn’t be spanked. If she agreed with my reasoning, then fine, no spanking. If my points are all valid, but she still thinks I deserve a spanking, then I get a spanking. If she thinks my reasoning is weak and I am just trying to get out of the spanking, then she gives me the spanking and then some additional pre-determined punishment for trying to get out of it, like 50 hard swats with the paddle or 12 stripes with the cane or something.”
Well, there you have it. The prescription we’ve talked about here many times for actually changing behavior: consistency, strictness and severity.
Here is how it played out in real life. When we were in bed on Wednesday night, she asked me about whether I’d done something that broke one of our rules. I admitted that I had. She told me that I’d be spanked first thing the next morning. Given our usual issues with consistency, I thought there was a fairly good chance she would forget. Nope.
It didn’t happen first thing in the morning, but by mid-morning I’d received a hard spanking over her knee, with what have become her go-to instruments, the ebony hairbrush, and long-handled bath brush.
The next day, I gave her a journal entry that included the above summary advice from the group. I pointed out that I was doing so very reluctantly as part of suggesting a second spanking was in order because what I’d be spanked for the day before wasn’t the only recent offense; there had been efforts to argue or delay. It is very rare for me to carry through on suggesting or asking for a spanking, but for once I kind of wanted to push things forward in terms of consistency.
She agreed and that morning I found myself bent over the bed for another spanking. This time, consistent with ZM’s advice regarding arguing, I suggested she use a paddle (though I didn’t bring up his reference to 50 swats).
We used to use fraternity-style paddles a lot, but over the last year or so her go-to implements had really narrowed down to the hairbrush, bath brush and a leather paddle or strap. It’s probably been at least a year and a half, perhaps two years, since I’ve had a hard session with a wooden paddle.
Which is the impetus for this week’s topic. For some reason, the paddle caused some fairly substantial bruising, but most on the inside of each cheek.
It’s become atypical for a spanking to leave me with significant bruising or marking, other than some oval-shaped discoloration than can sometimes last a day or two.
Sometimes my bottom does look in bad shape immediately after the spanking, but the marks typically don't last very long.
That wasn’t always the case. When we first started DD, a significant paddling with the fraternity-style paddle could leave me bruised for several days. Yet, even though we were newcomers, it surprised how quickly Anne got comfortable with even very substantial and long-lasting bruising. It never seemed to make her very squeamish. In fact, she would sometimes make me drop my pants to show her my butt’s condition and would express disappointment if the marking wasn’t impressive or faded too quickly.
However, when last week’s paddling left me bruised, she did get squeamish. I’m really not sure why. We talked about it afterward, and I reminded her that I used to bruise a lot and that it never bothered her. The reminder did seem to help, and I assured her that she should not let bruising or marking lead to terminating a spanking “early.” (Though, I admit I’m glad she didn’t give me anything close to ZM’s recommendation of 50 swats.)
One other obvious issue with marking is it might be seen by others, though in my recent case the bruising didn’t last long and was confined to the inside of my cheeks where it wasn’t very visible.
I could have easily had such an unintended viewing experience a few weeks ago, however. I went to see a dermatologist to have a worrisome spot examined. It turned out to be nothing problematic, but the dermatologist suggested a full-body screening, since I hadn’t had one in a while. I complied, and I was lucky in the timing. I hadn’t been spanked in two or three weeks, so there was nothing to see. Though, it could have gone the other way had I timed the visit differently.
If I saw a guy with bruising on his butt, I probably would attribute it to spanking but, of course, there are times that supposition could be dead wrong. I should know better, because I’ve had at least one very significant incident of bruising that had nothing at all to do with spanking. Four or five years ago, I took a bad fall after a business dinner. I was walking from the second-story restaurant down a flight of very steep concrete stairs. I’m not sure exactly what caused it, but both my feet came out from under me. My body’s full weight came down on the intersection of my butt and the corner of one of the concrete stairs. I could barely walk back to my hotel. The bruising was bad that night and, by the next morning I had a deep black and purple bruising covering both cheeks. It looked pretty much exactly like what you’d expect from a very severe paddling.
Tell us about your experiences with marking and bruising. Does it happen often?
Is it an express goal or, rather, something she tries to avoid?
When it’s over, does she inspect her handiwork or ask to see the damage the next day?
Does she take pride in the tangible evidence of a job well done or, rather, does significant bruising or marking make her squeamish? Do you ever look at your own marks? What feelings arise when you do so?
We've talked before about whether bruising or marking have been seen accidentally by someone who isn’t aware of your DD lifestyle? But, what about something more intentional? Have you, or your Disciplinarian, ever intentionally displayed a marked or bruised bottom to someone or consciously left it on display for others to see?
Have you ever seen someone else’s butt and deduced they probably had been spanked recently?
I hope you all have a great week.