For those of you in the U.S., I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. These long weekends are somehow never quite long enough, are they?
Last week, we dealt with the topic of "asking for it." While many couples have apparently built asking for a spanking or punishment into their relationships, others have not. There seemed to be two reasons offered by the "no asking" crowd. First, some believe that asking for or suggesting punishment undermines her authority. Second, a somewhat surprisingly large number didn't ask for a very simple reason -- they didn't want to get spanked! For this group, spanking clearly is punishment and not something they have any desire to seek out.
This reminds me a little of when I was growing up, in a part of the country where corporal punishment was the norm in schools. For many of us, the rule handed down by our parents was, "If you get a spanking at school, you can expect to get it even worse when you get home." That kind of duplicative retribution placed a big emphasis, of course, on trying to hide the evidence of the original crime and its school-based consequences. The school would send the student home with a note, which often mysteriously vanished on the way. Yet, somehow, it was rare that the parents didn't find out through some alternative route.
They say confession is good for the soul, yet it is clear from last week's discussion that a significant number of our readers are not going to voluntarily own up to bad behavior. I have certainly been guilty of this myself, on many occasions. So, this week's topic is, what mechanisms have our disciplinary couples put in place to monitor bad behavior? Self-reporting has its limits, but have you taken steps to formalize it in some way to root out evidence of the offense? What else do you do beyond self-reporting? Monitor credit cards? Check emails and text messages? Use apps like "Find my Friends" to check up on where the disciplined party is hanging out? Cultivate relationships with friends or co-workers who will tattle? Finally, what happens if the Disciplinarian finds out about a lack of full disclosure?
Have a great weekend!