Saturday, May 30, 2015

The Forum - Vol. 91 - Would You Do It Again

Hello all.  Welcome back.  I hope you had a good week.

We had a poll close, this one focusing on where our US readers are located.  Here are the results:

  13 (22%)
  6 (10%)
  15 (25%)
Southwest - Rocky Mountaiin West
  9 (15%)
  13 (22%)
Pacific Northwest
  3 (5%)

I'm not sure what to say about this one, other than the Pacific Northwest seems remarkably uninterested in DD and FLR blogs.  I didn't have many preconceived notions of how this one might turn out, but I did think the results for the Southeast might be higher, give the prevalance of corporal punishment in that area of the country until relatively recently. 

In case people are intersted, here are the most recent Blogger statistics showing the country-by-country breakdown of our readership:

United States
United Kingdom

I''m always a little suspicious of these figures, however, because I have noticed over time that the variability from week to week is huge, and I'm not sure what would account for that.  It does make me wonder whether the statistics genuinely reflect where readers are located, versus where certain internet servers are located.  In other words, are there a high percentage of our readership using services that disguise their identity by routing traffic through various proxy servers.  Or, are there other explanations that to go way beyond my level of technical sophistication.

Anyway, observations on the above are obvisously welcome, though I don't have much personally to add.  I would be curious to hear more from our non-US readers about the extent to which female led relationships, including DD and FLR, are accepted in their countries and cultures.

But, I also wanted to get to a topic that Marisa raised a couple of weeks ago, namely if your current relationship ended, would you continue to use DD?

For me, the answer is yes.  To the point that if my current relationship ended, I think I would probably actively seekk out someone who was interested in, or at least open to, a DD and/or FLR relationship.

Finally, I've added a new poll, this one designed to test the extent to which our preferences for leadership in the home are reflected in our preferences in other contexts, particularly work.  In order to keep it simple, I have assumed that men who are likely to read this blog want to follow the wife's lead at home, and that she wants to lead in that context.  I know that is a gross over-simplification, but I wanted to keep this one relatively simple and binary.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

The Forum - Vol. 90 - Consistency #2

Hi all. For those in the US, I hope you are enjoying the long holiday weekend.  I am feeling more than a little lazy today.  Well, honestly, it's more exhaustion than laziness.  In any event, I am not feeling particularly inpsired when it comes to topics.  

So, let's extend our talk on consistency a little.  It seems clear that many of us want consistency in our DD and FLR relationships.  Some have achieved it.  For others, it is challenging.  So, what are the major impediments for building more consistency?  Kids? Social events? Work? Work-related travel?  For those of you who have managed to build more consistency into your DD and FLR relatonships, how did you get there?  What conflict tips can you give to the rest of us?

Have a great weekend.


Saturday, May 16, 2015

The Forum - Vol. 49 - Consistency

Hi all. I hope you had a great week and are heading into a fun and/or relaxing weekend. 

This week's topic relates to something we've talked about under the general heading of "More," i.e. what more we want from our DD and FLR relationships.  The "more" in the case of this week's topic is "consistency."  What role does consistency play in your relationship?  Is DD more an event, or a process?  Meaning, is it something that happens sporadically for specific infractions, or is it something that is part of a more consistently applied disciplinary or FLR regimen?

One theme I would like to see us explore a bit is, for the Disciplinary Wives, is it hard to be consistent, or harder NOT to be?  This is an issue Rhiannon has explored on her blog, and she took my own thoughts on this in  a different direction.  I had always assumed that being the leader in an FLR-oriented relationship, or doling out DD punishments consistently, could be a very difficult thing, because of the need to be "on" all the time.  Always, or at least very often, in that control position and that leader mindset.  But, as her blog points out, the converse may be even more of a problem.  The on again, off again ebbs and flows might keep the disciplinary wife always on edge and never quite getting into a personal zone where she really feels in control.

I know this is a broad topic, but that seems to work well with this group.  Throwing out a general theme and letting people take it where they will.

I hope you all have a great weekend.


Saturday, May 9, 2015

The Forum Vol. 88 -- What Holds You Back?

Hi all.  I hope you had a great week and are heading into a relaxing weekend. That was a good discussion last week.  Somehow, I never tire of topics that hit the question of origins, how people get started in domestic discipline, from one angle or another.  Thanks to everyone who contributed.  It was especially heartening to see the number of new contributors we've picked up in the last few weeks.

We had another poll close this week.  This one was directed at our Disciplinary Wives and asked, "What holds you back from assuming greater authority or giving stricter discipline?" There were 27 total votes, and people were allowed to vote for more than one option.  Here are the results:

Social conditioning re gender roles
  10 (37%)
Reluctant to really "hurt" him
  13 (48%)
Uncomfortable being perceived as "bitchy"
  8 (29%)
Afraid he will resist
  5 (18%)
Unpracticted in leading
  7 (25%)
  5 (18%)

 There are some obviousl problems with this poll.  As someone pointed out shortly after I posted it, there is no option for "nothing."  Some women are leading fully actualized DD relatonships, and nothing is holding them back.   That may, or may not, be what is going on wiht the relatively high numboer of "Other" answers in this one.  On the other hand, I'm not surprised that "social conditioning" and the reluctance to dole out something really painful are way up there.

I don't feel like I have a lot more to add personally to this one, and I'd love to hear from the wives.  So, tell us about what what, if anything, holds you back from being the Leader or Disciplinarian you want to be or that your husband tells you he really wants or needs.

I also added a new poll.  Nothing particularly provocative.  Just more curiosity about who we are.  Also, my apologies to the first 7 people who voted, but I had to pull it down and restart when I realized I left out a category.  Unfortunately, the Blogger polling gadget doesn't allow you to modify a poll once someone has voted.

Have a great week.


Saturday, May 2, 2015

The Forum - Vol. 87 - That One Event

Hello all.  I hope you had a great week.  Anna's topic from last week generated a great discussion.  It was also a heartening experience for people living the lifestyle or interested in it, because many of the "ideal" scenarios our group described were not just male Femdom fantasy fare, but well within in the norm for many DD couples.  It was especially inspiring that many couples apparently already are experiencing their ideal.

Now, on to this week's topic.  Our polls show that it is very often the man who initiates the DD relationship, by asking for it.   Though, every once in awhile, a Disciplinary Wife initiates it on her own.  Many men also express that they had been very interested in spanking, DD or FLR-type relationships for some time before they actually had an opportunity to pursue on.  So, this week's question is, was there a specific event that caused you finally to ask for it?  Some particular bit of bad behavior?  Maybe a point of high stress or remorse?  Perhaps the fascination just finally became overpowering? Or, did the opportunity finally present itself, so you took it?

I hope you all have a great weekend.