Saturday, April 12, 2014

The Forum 41 - More on Beginnings and Others Knowing

 Hello all.  Welcome back to the Forum.  I hope you all had a good week.  We had some great exchanges last week, branching beyond the original topic, which is how a good conversation should flow.  Our original topic began with kids knowing about their parents' domestic discipline activities, and we ended up exploring that and a lot more, including how people arrive at their fascination with disciplinary spankings and others knowing about your DD lifestyle.  

So, this week, let's explore those themes a little more, and I'll deviate slightly from our normal practice by raising two topics.  Both come from exchanges from reader and new contributor Bart Stone, whose comments on last week's topic included the following related to an early spanking from his mother-in-law: 

"I know most of your readers are here to exchange stories about as you call it funishment. What my wife and I have mostly falls into that category. What I wonder about is how many readers trace their fascination to some real disciplinary spanking as a child or some interaction with a female authoritarian figure. I am now in my sixties and have carried the feeling of my first experience for more than forty years. It is a powerful memory and being able to interact with others who might get it is very valuable."

- and -

"It was really humiliating, and I was so worried that she would tell someone. As far as I know she never did. It took sometime before I could bring myself to tell my wife because I thought she would not only think it ridiculous but also that I was some kind of weakling. That night as I sat with a sore bottom I was embarrassed thinking the family some how knew. A few times over the years my mother in law made some comments and gave me a look that made me go weak in the knees."

The second of those comments drew this response from me:

"I really can't imagine how embarrassing that would be. Though I've never had a real desire to be spanked in front of someone else or to have others know about our DD relationship, there is something I do find more than a little intriguing about the posts from you guys who have other female relatives who know about it. It has to add to the sense of vulnerability, that you are not only spanked by your wife, but have also been spanked by other women or the family and could be again, or at least that others know about the situation, know you are subject to a woman's discipline, etc."

So, for this week's topics, tell us about:

(1) Whether your fascination with spanking started with some early disciplinary spanking or encounter with a female authority figure; and

(2)  Does anyone other than your current or former DD partner know about your spanking and F/m discipline lifestyle?  If so, how did that come about?  How does it make you feel that others know.

I'll kick things off with some observations from my own experience.  See below.  Also, a reminder that the poll I instituted at the start of this blog closes soon.  (See poll on the right side of the blog, just below the picture.)  If you haven't done so already, please take a minute to let us know your status as disciplined male, female disciplinarian, someone who would like to explore either of those, or just curious. Also, please take a moment to go to the Guestbook section and tell us a little about yourself. 

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Poll Closing

It is very hard for me to believe, but it has been almost a year since I started this blog.  As evidenced by the fact that the reader poll I put up shortly after I opened the blog closes in 8 days.  I wanted a year's worth of responses, because I wanted to get some answer to the question: "How many of us are there out there."  No matter how unscientific it might be. 

If you have not done so already, please take a minute to respond.  

Saturday, April 5, 2014

The Forum #40 - When Should They Know

Hi all. Welcome back.  I want to begin this post with an apology.  Last week, I offended a reader in the course of responding to one of his comments.  Although I really did not mean it to be a criticism of him, it definitely could have come off that way.  It was the result of me being flippant and caustic, which sneak into my communications on a much too frequent basis.   And, although I was reacting to what I saw as him being subjected to discipline for an unfair reason, it ran afoul of one of the rules I try to live by, i.e. not judging other people's kinks or their approaches to DD.  Different strokes for different folks (pun intended, even if it was pretty bad).  So, I want to own up to being less than fully welcoming to a guest and contributor, and for once again showing that there is a reason I first went to my wife and asked her to become my disciplinarian:  I am an imperfect person, I make mistakes and, unfortunately, I tend to make the same mistakes repeatedly. I do apologize and will try to be a better host.



This week's question extends from a reader named Holly, who wrote a really great post in the Guestbook last week.  Please migrate over there and check out the whole thing, but here are the sentences that most caught my attention and provide the fodder for this week's topic:

"There wasn’t any time I wasn’t aware of domestic discipline. Mom spanked our dad never in front of us but when she took him into the bedroom there was no doubt what was going on and anyone in the house could hear it. I didn’t think much of it except that mom was definitely in charge which everyone knew anyway."



Those three short sentences raise a lot of interesting topics for discussion:
  • Do your children know about your DD activities?
  • Do you come from a DD home, particularly one one in which your mother spanked your father?  If so, how did that affect you, if all?
  • While most of us with children probably try to hide our DD activities from them, would such knowledge necessarily be a bad thing?
I asked Holly these same questions, because they are issues my wife and I have debated from time to time.  We have always tried very hard to hide all evidence of our DD activities, but there has also been a cost associated with that. There are times when I have richly deserved some severe punishment, but my wife could not deal with it at that time, because there were kids around.  And, given all the intrusions of daily life, if punishment doesn't happen immediately, it may not happen at all.  Another cost is that my wife has never stepped fully into her role as the Head of Household, because she has been concerned about whether it would make the kids look on her or me differently. One of my questions, however, is would that necessarily be a bad thing?  Generations of women have been raised in patriarchal households, seeing their mothers live their lives in subordinate roles.  Would it really be so bad for them to see a woman firmly in control?  And, does the child's gender matter?  For example, if a female HoH might serve as a role model for her daughters, would the subservient father be a negative role model for boys?

When I asked Holly some of these questions, she provided a very thoughtful reply, cautioning in favor of erring on the side of keeping knowledge of the DD relationship away from the kids.  I tend to agree, with some misgivings, but it would be great to hear your perspectives.

Have a great week.  And, please take Holly's example and take a few moments to enter something of your own in the Guestbook, particularly if we haven't heard from you before.

Dan

Saturday, March 29, 2014

The Forum - Ask YOU Anything Edition

Welcome back all.  Thanks for all the questions in response to the "Ask Me Anything" edition of the Forum!

My goal for this blog can be summed up in one word: interaction.  It is reflected in the title: a "forum," defined as "a public meeting place for open discussion."  Since that is the goal, I now want to turn the tables a bit on last weeks question.  I want to ask YOU anything.  But, let's make it easy.  We now have a nice list of questions from last week.   Please go back and reply to the questions yourself.  If enough people participate, it could become a nice little exchange of thoughts and experiences.   If the questions don't fit your orientation, i.e. you are a spanker and the question as phrased is directed to the spankee, just flip it around in your answer and tell us what you do in your personal situation.

For those of you who are a little shy, please remember that you can post comments anonymously.  I am always surprised at the enormous gap between the number of weekly visits and the number of weekly comments.  There clearly are a lot of people interested in this topic; a few hundred track it down each week, but the number of comments still hovers around 10 or less.  All visitors are welcome, but wouldn't it be fun to participate a little?

I hope you all have a great week.  If you have a spare moment, please write something in the Guestbook (tab above), or contribute a user story (real or imagined).  

Dan

Friday, March 21, 2014

The Forum - Ask Me Anything edition



Hi all. Welcome back.  I hope you've had a great week so far.   I wanted to get a jump on this week's post, as I am going to be tied up with some other things tomorrow.  Yet, while I took the initiative to post something ahead of schedule, I am feeling a bit uninspired regarding topic selection this week.  And, it has been several months since we had our last session of "Ask Me Anything."  So, that is what we will do this week.  Ask me (and each other) anything.  I will try very hard to hold nothing back.

And, please tell us a little about yourself by filling in the Guestbook (tab above).

Dan

Saturday, March 15, 2014

The Forum - Qusetion of the Week #37

Hi everyone. Welcome back.  Well, we did not get much reaction to last week's topic about contracts.  The comments from the few who posted seem to all be variations of: "A contract may be a good idea at first, but only until the woman steps into her full roll as a Disciplinary Wife and starts delivering spankings whenever she feels like it."  And, rest assured, we will address that in a topic in the near future.

But, this week, let's have some fun.  Last week, Hermione over at Hermione's Heart asked what fictional character people would most like to spank.  I would like to hit that topic from the opposite angle.  What fictional character would you most like to be spanked by?

I can think of several, but right now I have a major thing for Jessica Peterson, the managing partner on Suits:



Successful.  Powerful.  In charge. Exudes control in every way.  Her entire demeanor says, "If you don't perform, or if you don't play by my rules, I'm going to sit down in this chair, put you over my tailored skirt, and beat your behind until you leave my office in tears."

So, who is your ideal fictional disciplinary wife, boss, teacher, etc.?

And, as always, please take a few minutes to say something in the Guestbook.  We haven't had new entries in quite some time.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

The Forum - Question of the Week #37

Happy Saturday to you all.  Sorry for being a little late in posting today. This week's question comes from one of our readers:

"Are written contracts a good idea? We tried it twice but it didn’t work for us but know another couple who use contracts successfully and read about many others. Contracts made us self-conscious and my wife (who went to law school) thinks they are inappropriate for discipline so we use a anytime any place for any reason system which works well for us."

How about the rest of you?  Have you entered into a contract spelling out our your DD relationship will work?  Think doing so is a good idea?

As always, please take a minute to fill out the Guestbook or submit a story.  Have a good week!

Dan

Saturday, March 1, 2014

The Forum - Question of the Week #36

Hi all.  I hope you had a good week.  Mine got off to a bit of a rough start.  In fact, it's been kind of a rough month from a personal behavior and personal growth perspective.  Looking back at all those resolutions I set in early January, I have gotten completely off track on almost all of them.  There obviously is a disciplinary failure in our household, on two levels. First, I have been failing miserably on exercising any self-discipline.  Second, our very active lives and other commitments have not left a lot of time for domestic discipline.  It also reflects the fact that despite being in this lifestyle for close to a decade, we have never quite achieved a real, 24x7 FLR relationship.  We talk about that being the goal.  We agree it should be the goal.  Then, inertia takes over and we slide back into our traditional behaviors and give in to all the distractions with which we surround ourselves.

Which leads me to this week's question.  Are you leading a real FLR or DD relationship on something close to a 24x7 basis?  Are you aspiring to such a relationship?  Or, are you aiming for something in which FLR or DD plays an important but lesser role? Or, is it just "funishment" and you're fine with that?

I hope you all have a great weekend and a good week ahead!  As always, please take some time to fill in the Guestbook (see tab above) if you haven't yet or if you have something new to say.  The Guestbook has a question relating to new topics, and I would really appreciate hearing any ideas you may have.  I seem to be going through a period of modest writer's block and am struggling a bit to come up with anything very interesting to ask.

Dan

Saturday, February 22, 2014

The Forum #36



Welcome back everyone.  This was a strange week, and it caused me to mull some DD thoughts around a bit.  Step back and do a little self-assessment, as it were.

As you'll see from the posts below, someone using various names kept posting comments that were off-topic and just sort of juvenile.  My reaction was, first to get angry when it kept happening, and second to take my email address off the website and start moderating all comments.  Simple enough and not a big deal, right? Well, as I thought about it more, the exchange with the little pest raised a couple of issues requiring some self-reflection regarding the state of my DD efforts.

First, it became clear that what really lit a fire under me with this particular commenter was that the postings were not just silly and off-topic, they were essentially confrontational and territorial.  This blog is about domestic discipline, but this person wanted to steer everything in a very different conversational direction. That direction included starting to hurl taunts my way, call me silly playground names, etc.  In short, this person was trying to set the tone for my blog.  Reacting to that with some annoyance may have been natural, but here's the thing:  That flare of anger and resentment at someone messing with "my" area is EXACTLY the kind of Alpha Male, Type A over-the-top reaction that I have wanted to rid myself of using domestic discipline.   It is exactly the kind of behavior that has, from time to time, gotten me into trouble and limited my upward mobility in my career.   Someone invades my territory or throws an elbow, and I instantly start seeing red.  They throw a passive-aggressive elbow, and I hit them with a baseball bat.   That's the way it's been throughout my adult life, and mellowing out that need to control everything really was one of the primary reasons I wanted to explore domestic discipline.  In handing control over to my wife, I hoped to reduce my own reactivity and Type A behavior.  Well, my over reaction to a garden variety pest certainly showed I have a long way to to go.

Second, the exchange also served to highlight a distinction I have explored on this blog a couple of times, namely that between domestic discipline and Femdom.  I am obviously an advocate for exploring domestic discipline of the F/m variety, and for extending that to exploring Female Led Relationships.  That means trying to accept my Wife's direction and discipline, and encouraging her to step into that role and take control of me.   But, wanting to submit to the authority of my Wife is very different from some kind of gender-based submission to ALL female authority.  That distinction was evident in spades in the exchanges (all of which have now been deleted) with my little blog stalker.  Although I strongly suspect the poster was actually a man, he/she did claim to be woman, and I at first assumed she was.  When "she" started getting aggressive and demeaning, my reaction was not submission.  Very far from it.  This blog was my thing, my area, and I was damn sure not going to let someone dictate to me the direction it was going to take, whether that person was male or female.  And, while my territorial reaction was indicative of a problem I need to work on,  I'm fairly comfortable with this second aspect of my behavior.  I am very interested in submitting to a woman, namely my Wife, but that is a very different thing from being subservient to some other random person just because they happen to be, or claim to be, a woman.

On a related note, it occurred to me that my suspicion that my little pest is a man is itself little more than a subtle form of sexism.   I have a hard time seeing those posts as coming from a woman because they were rude and juvenile, and most of the females in my life are professional and smart.  Therefore, I just have a hard time envisioning a woman as the author of stupid and aggressively rude postings.  But, of course, men hardly have a monopoly on boorish behavior, though it admittedly sometimes seems so.

So, that has been a very long introduction to this week's  Forum question, which is related a bit to the first issue I pondered above.  Assuming you are in a real domestic discipline relationship, or want to me in one, and your goal is to use spankings and other disciplinary measures to correct bad behavior, what are some of the behaviors you are trying to correct?   You can answer from the perspective of the giver or receiver.  To get the ball rolling, here are a few of my own behavioral issues:

  • Generally, letting go of control and being more open to accepting authority and direction from superiors, even when I think they are full of shit.
  • Showing my wife more respect, to the point of submitting to her will even when I am convinced that I am right and she is wrong.
  • Becoming more self-disciplined regarding some personal behaviors, such as over-indulging at the pub with work colleagues on too many occasions
 And, finally, a followup from last week's question.  I posted that we had recently purchased this little implement but had not used it yet:

 

We tried in out last night, and I can report that whatever extra level of disciplinary intensity I was hoping to find with a cane, this awful little instrument more than provides.  When we first started out in DD, I marked and bruised pretty easily.  Over the years, that changed and, while I would get welts and marks during a spanking, they usually faded for the most part by the next day.  This vicious little tool, however, resulted in very large welts and bruises that are still very, very apparent this morning.  Worse yet, those marks resulted from a fairly tentative effort, with my Wife using far less than full force.   I have been saying for a while that I am morbidly fascinated with the prospect of being brought to real tears, but it has yet to happen.  This tool might just be the one to do the trick.

Have a great weekend.

Dan

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Oops

In my effort to conduct a little pest control (see below), I accidentally changed my settings to make this blog "private" and inaccessible to everyone but myself.  My apologies to anyone who tried to view today and was unable to do so.

Dan

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

New Comment Policy -- And a Personal Observation

As some of you may have noticed, my blog seems to have attracted the attention of a weird little stalker who on various days calls himself Evelyn, Cheryl, Gretchen, or any number of other pseudonyms.  He's obsessed with panty-wearing and posts about it in response to every Forum Question and at various other places on the blog.  Now, if there was anything the least bit interesting about his comments, I might leave them up, even if off-topic. However, since his postings have the intellectual and grammatical sophistication of something scrawled in crayon on the wall of a truck stop toilet stall, I respectfully decline to let him continue using my blog as the equivalent of said toilet stall.

In addition to the generally annoying quality of his posts, he seems obsessed with the idea that I wear panties. But, while I have no problem at all with that fetish and recognize it plays a role in lots of DD relationships, he is simply wrong that it is part of my particular bundle of fetishes.  My wife and I tried it one time early on in our DD experimentation, and it did nothing for either of us.  It did, however, give me a lot of sympathy for what women go through daily, because in addition to doing nothing for us erotically, the panties were just really, really uncomfortable.  They chafed and scratched and were just generally unbearable to wear.  Of course, had we gone with silky "granny panties" the sensation might have been much more pleasurable, but the visual would have been even less appealing to my wife, so why go there?

So, while I very much appreciate and encourage comments from the rational readers out there who are into wearing panties or are are ordered to wear them by their DD wives (Peter, please keep the comments coming!  Love them and love the conversation!), I have had it with my little stalker and his annoying "hee hee" sixth-grade snickerings.  So, I am reluctantly changing my settings to moderate all comments.  I will try very hard to check the queue each day so there is little delay in approving comments from everyone but my new best friend.

Also, one other change.  I deleted the former User Stories section, which was a separate blog, and replaced it with User Stories section tab at the top of the home page.  Thanks for bearing with me through all these changes and experimentation.


Dan

Saturday, February 15, 2014

The Forum - Question of the Week #35

Welcome back everyone.  I hope you had a good week.  Last week I got a little philosophical.  This week, let's go in a much more concrete direction. 

What is your most feared "weapon of ass destruction"?  What implement does the best job of getting your attention, turning a spanking into a real punishment. 

For me, there are a few contenders.  First up, the Loopy Johnny:


Ours comes from the London Tanners.  It may not look all that threatening but, as its makers say "This is a really nasty little piece . . ."




We also recently picked up this little implement from Adam & Gillian.  We haven't had a chance to try it yet, but I have a feeling I may come to regret having bought it.  Its makers describe it as:

 "Narrow, fast, and mean ... and renamed the “Oh Shit!” by a customer who tried it on his submissive -- and then bought it! This heavy neoprene strap (approximately 1/4" thick,) is astonishingly formidable. It makes blue bruises and leaves red welts. You have been warned!" 

So, what implement strikes fear in your heart?  Or, if you are the spanker, which implement do you turn to when the goal is to leave a very strong message.

Hope you have a good week.  As always, please take a minute to say a few words in the Guestbook and please think about contributing something (fact or fiction) to the User Stories section.

Dan


Saturday, February 8, 2014

The Forum - Question of the Week #34

Welcome back all.  My last couple of posts generated some interesting discussion.  Some of it was even on topic.  ;-)

I am struggling a bit to characterize the topic I would like to raise this week.  In essence, it is: "What is the goal of Domestic Discipline, and how is it distinct from Femdom?"  But, it's a little deeper than that.  I want to get at, what purpose does DD serve in terms of our development as human beings?

It was, in fact, some of the recent comments that got me thinking about this.  Several have, to my way of thinking, really been focused on very traditional Femdom themes.   Forced chastity.  Humiliation scenes.  None of those necessarily have anything to do with domestic discipline, though some of them can if they are designed to meet some DD-oriented goal.   If it's just part of a desire on your part to humiliate your partner, then whatever it is, it's really not what I think of as DD. 

Now, one can ask, why does it matter?  I am pretty insistent that there not one "right" way to approach DD relationships and I also try very hard to respect other people's kinks, even if they do not necessarily appeal to me.  But with DD, here is why I think motivations and goals matter:  Because, to me the overarching goal in any intimate relationship is to leave the partners mentally and spiritually happier and stronger than where they started.  Dan Savage, in his wonderful Savage Love columns has made that point several times:  The one real "responsibility" we have when dealing with our partners, particularly ones that are vulnerable due to age, experience, emotional issues, etc., is to try to leave them healthier than we found them.

The danger I see with DD, and with anything involving dominance, is it can be used for good or ill.  And, I do believe there can be a very dark side to dominance-based relationships.  Ideally, a healthy relationship should be about empowering both parties to grow as people and to help them expand their capacities and personal power.  For my wife and I, that was our explicit goal for the very start.  She was not especially good at asserting herself and tended to let people walk on her, while I often got myself into trouble by being too aggressive, too assertive, and generally too Type A.  Our goal was, and is, to use DD to bring things into a better state of balance, with her becoming increasingly comfortable with wielding power and authority and me increasingly willing and able to submit to power and authority because I really do need some boundaries to feel secure, yet I generally suck at imposing them on myself.

Where I get concerned about the possible dangers of DD and other dominance-based relationships is when they seem to be taking unhealthy personal dynamics or attributes and emphasizing that already dysfunctional dynamic or trait.  If someone already lets the world treat them as a doormat, in my opinion we do them no favors by encouraging a relationship in which they are the submissive.   How does bossing around, disciplining, and possibly humiliating someone who already lets people walk all over them make them healthier?  And, if you already create problems in your life by being too pushy and antagonistic, is it really good for you to enter into a relationship in which your role is to be the dominant and bossy party? 

Our culture tends to emphasize "doing what comes natural," but I am just not convinced that such a philosophy makes any sense at all if our overall goal in life is to grow as human beings, overcoming our weaknesses and gaining new strengths.

Sorry if this sounds preachy, but the tone of a few of the recent comments made me feel it was important to clarify that what TTWD is, for me,  is about encouraging healthy relationships and personal growth.  If it is something else for you, that's perfectly fine, but it's not what I do, not my goal for myself or my relationship, and not the focus of this blog.

Thoughts?

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Caning - Tips & Methods??

I usually do not do mid-week questions, but I had one that came to me as a result of recent DD session.  For reasons I will not go into, last night I received what was supposed to be a very bad disciplinary spanking, as retribution for some significantly bad behavior.  And, it was quite bad in most respects.  She lit into me with the Loopy Johnny, which is an implement that she loves and I hate, in equal measure.  She gave me hard strapping, and finished with a long session with the bath brush.  All of those hurt -- very much.  The issue is with the implement with which we began the session -- the cane.

We have tried caning several times, and it just doesn't seem to work.  By which I mean, it just does not hurt that much.  The same thing happened last night. I had bought some new canes, and we gave it yet another try.  She swears that she was swinging with a lot of force, but it just did not hurt very much.  Now, I contrast that with videos I have seen of the cane causing bruising with what seem to be not even full force strokes.  Given those videos and photos, and the numerous descriptions I've read, it would seem to be one of the most devastating instruments available.  But for us, it just is not like that?

Does anyone have any thoughts on what we might be doing wrong?  Thoughts on how to deliver a truly nasty caning?

I know that for some it may seem odd to be requesting something even harsher than what I already get, but we really are trying to use spanking for discipline.  When I've done something wrong, the goal really is to make me pay for it in a way that makes me think more than twice about doing it again.  So, any thoughts from readers--the disciplined and disciplinarians alike--would be most appreciated.

Dan

Saturday, February 1, 2014

The Forum - Question of the Week #37

Hi all,

I hope you had a good week.   I really thought we might get a little more interest in last week's topic regarding how to get started in a DD relationship, but I guess we are just leaving all those poor Disciplined Husbands in Waiting to their own devices.

I also hope the fall off in comments last week was not related to the changes I made to the design of the blog.  I wasn't sure about it myself when I first changed the color scheme, but it's growing on me.

This week's question involves consequences, and our all too human tendency to try to avoid them.  Have you ever tried to cover up your bad behavior in order to avoid being disciplined?  Lied about how much you had to drink with colleagues after work?  Forgot to tell your spouse about that speeding ticket?  You may not always confess to them, but please tell us all about it!

As always, please take a moment to visit the Guestbook or add a story (fictional or non-fictional) to the User Stories section.  They are accessible by the tabs at the top of this page.

Dan - Disciplined Hubby

Saturday, January 25, 2014

The Forum - Question of the Week #36

Hi all.  Welcome to the Forum #36.  This week's question is one that has been explored a bit before, but it's worth talking about again now that we have a few more active participants.  This week's topic is, how do you get a Domestic Discipline relationship started?  How do you go about letting your significant other know of your interest in it?  How do you persuade them to give it a try? And, how do you progress from the beginning stage to make DD a real part of your day to day life?  I hope this topic gets the attention and responses it merits, because if the statistics in the poll I've posted for several months now are any indication of what is going on out there, we have a significant number of men who are interested in an F/m lifestyle, but far fewer women share that mindset.  Or, perhaps fewer of them spend significant time finding and reading DD-oriented blogs.  Or, maybe many women are so conditioned to being on the losing end of unequal power in society, that it just never occurs to them that they might be able to put their bad boy husbands over their knee. In any case, it seems to me that there are many men out there who very much want to try this lifestyle but are not sure how to make that happen. So, please share not only your tips, but also your stories.

I am happy to share my own experiences on this one, but I already did it in fairly great detail.   Check out this post from March of 2013 for the full story: http://disciplinedhubbies.blogspot.com/2013/03/beginnings.html.  I also used this as an occasion to open a new section for the blog, this one focusing on tips and methods.  Check out the new Tips and Methods tab above.

As always, please take a moment to visit the Guestbook or add a story (fictional or non-fictional) to the User Stories section.  I finally learned how to us Blooger's tab feature, so those sections are now accessible from tabs at the top of the page.  I'm also playing a bit with the templates to try to find something a little less grey and dreary.  Let me know what you think about the new background and color.  Have a great week.

Dan - Disciplined Hubby

Saturday, January 18, 2014

The Forum - Question of the Week #35

Welcome back everyone.  For those in the United States, I hope you are enjoying the start of your three-day weekend.

This week topic is "Oops!" moments.   By which I mean, moments when you realize you just did something that might have led to another person discovering your domestic discipline and/or spanking lifestyle.  Maybe you forgot to clear the browser history on your computer before someone else used it.  Maybe you accidentally used your real name in a blog post or email that you meant to be anonymous or you intended to use a pseudonym.  Maybe you went walking through the gym locker room naked, with stripes or bruises on your bottom, after you forgot too quickly about the previous night's disciplinary session.

As always, please leave a comment in the Guestbook (the post immediately below this one).  And, please consider contributing a fictional or non-fictional story.  You can access our user stories via the link in the Links section on the right side of this blog. 

Have a great weekend!


Friday, January 17, 2014

Guestbook Volume 3

I always enjoyed reading the Guest Book postings on the Disciplinary Wives Club website.  Unfortunately, that functionality has been removed.  In an effort to foster a similar degree of interactivity, I encourage all visitors to add a comment addressing the topics below.  I will keep this post near the top of the blog.   I'm also going to break these up into volumes after a certain number of responses, in order to help with readability.

Question 1:  When and how did you first get into domestic discipline?


Question 2:  What was your most memorable or severe spanking (given or received)?


Question 3: What does giving/receiving domestic discipline do for you?


Question 4:  Ideas for future Forum topics?


Question 5:   Anything else you would like to share? Or, if you're comfortable with it, tell us a little about yourself.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

The Forum - Question of the Week #34

Welcome back to this week's Forum.  And, thanks for the flurry of responses to last week's question.  I don't think we've ever reached 20 comments before.   A small milestone, but a milestone nonetheless.  Of course, some of the increased activity seems to be the result of moving to a comment format that allows for posting replies to individual comments.   My blogging skills are basic, to say the least, and I hadn't realized how to change that setting until recently.

So, here we are again.  This week's question is about motivations for participating in this lifestyle, specifically, "What's in it for them?"   With "them" being the person in your DD relationship who has the disciplining role.  The HOH.  The "top," if you will.   Given that our focus in on F/m relationships, I'm usually referencing the woman as the discipliner, but I'm always interested in hearing from people in DD relationships of any sort.   So, what's in it for the party wielding the paddle in your relationship?  What is it that attracts them to the DD lifestyle, or at least makes them open to meeting your desires for one?  Is it a sense of power?  An erotic rush from wielding that power?  Does it satisfy their inner "control freak"?  Or, does it merely result in a better behaved partner and a more harmonious home?

As always, please take a moment to fill out the Guestbook, below, if you haven't done so before or have something new to talk about.  I've added a new question to allow people to give a few details about who they are, if they are comfortable doing that.   Also, please keep our "user generated story" feature in mind, which is accessible from the Links section to the right.  Please consider submitting one your stories, real or fictional.

One last thing.  When I began this blog, I asked for suggestions on a suitable pseudonym, as Disciplined Hubby is just a little too remote and vacuous, yet I'm still pretty firmly in the DD closet and don't want to reveal too much.  The request for ideas flopped, but I still feel the need to Be Somebody.  I've always liked the name Dan.  It seems to me to have a nice balanced feel.  Dan, Danny or Daniel could be the guy you drink a beer with at the pub, an executive in the boardroom . . . Or the the slightly twisted guy who admits to having more than a few kinks!


And, we all need something to aspire to at the beginning of a New Year.  


So, I anoint myself, "Dan" for purposes of this blog, though I'll also answer to Bond.  James Bond.  Have a great weekend!

Saturday, January 4, 2014

The Forum - Question of the Week #33

Hi all.  Welcome back, and welcome to 2014.  I begin the year with a sense of humility.  Something this blog has taught me is that I have absolutely no ability to predict which topics people may find interesting or worthy of a comment.  As I said in my last post, I'm big on resolutions and written goals.   Others out there -- apparently not so much, since the topic got only a handful of responses. Or, perhaps people were otherwise engaged with holiday activities?  In any event, for those of you who made resolutions for 2014, here is hoping you keep at least a few of them and that the upcoming year is fulfilling and productive.

This week's topic is somewhat related to my less than fully successful attempt to get a discussion going around 2014 goals and changes.  As I said in the last post,  I did set several DD and FLR resolutions for myself, one of which was to move a bit toward acting in public in a way that might suggest that She wears the pants in the family.  This would be much less than a public announcement that we are in an FLR relationship.  More like subtle hints that she is the one in charge.   What do people think about that?  Any hints on things we might do?  How open are you about your own FLR or DD relationship?

As always, please take a moment to put something in the Guestbook (see the post immediately below), and please think about submitting something for our user-generated story feature, which is accessible by a link to the right of this post. 

Happy 2014 everyone!

DH