Saturday, March 16, 2024

The Club - Meeting 470 - Interrogation, Probing, and Monitoring

“He explained to me with great insistence that every question possessed a power that did not lie in the answer.” ― Elie Wiesel, Night

 

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led (FLR) relationships.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We miss having you around.

 

I hope you all had a good week.  Mine was pretty good, though we experienced one of those spring storms that kept us mostly holed up inside our house for a couple of days. Unfortunately, that led to a little too much time on social media and interacting on-line with some folks I’m involved with on a local political issue.  Maybe it’s a result of thirty years in a profession that was all about persuasive communication, but I really hate people whose go-to moves are chest-beating and name-calling. Perhaps, down the road, I’ll ask Anne to help me deal with losing my temper on-line, but not yet . . .

 

 

That was a great discussion last week, on what I thought would be a pretty mundane topic. Right out of the gate, Antonio took my “DD and health” topic in a direction I hadn’t been thinking about when I wrote the topic, namely DD and mental health.  Here’s how he described the effects of his wife’s use of DD to address his depressive tendencies:

 

“Now the amazing thing is that when she has finished disciplining me, my depression has completely lifted, and my unpleasant attitude has been replaced with a burning desire to please her. I don't know what a therapist would say, but I don't care because it works for us. She usually follows this with lighter preventative DD for the next few days just to "keep my mind right."

 

I can't explain it or why it works but it has made a major difference in our life. It has allowed me to stop taking antidepressants and instead of going into a two-week slide down the vortex of depression and then having to climb out, it is over in 10 minutes.

 

I cannot overstate what a difference this has made in our life. She has said a number of times that she wished she had known about this 30 years ago.”

 

As for what a therapist might say about it, my retort is: “Whatever works.”

 

Near the end of the week’s discussion, Alan had this to say regarding a comment by Ward regarding confession:

 

“Ward said: “I will confess if she asks…. Believe me, I know better than to fail to tell her the truth.”

 

This may be a separate topic, but I wonder how common it is for wives or girlfriends to ask regularly, during scolding, or while having a “discussion,” etc., about behavior she may not have witnessed. Both women who have disciplined me have used versions of it and it is a game changer for me when used to work on a particular behavior.

 

Like Ward, I confess if she directly asks about behavior that I would never self-report. Lying of any kind is not an option when she asks. Part of it is just the insanity of being untruthful when I have asked for discipline, and part of it is just the utter power she assumes in asking: “Have you been obedient?”

 

But the greatest impact on me comes from the message that she cares about the behavior and will use her authority to control or stop it. Caring about the behavior is why I respond so positively to being asked. If a woman wants to modify male behavior-- making her expectations clear and then asking regularly if he has been obedient—is a sure path to success ( at least if the culprit is me).”

 


Alan’s observations were well-timed, because I had actually been planning to do a topic about “interrogation,” i.e. about a wife actively probing to discover bad behavior that may have gone unwitnessed and unreported.

 

It was on my mind because of the check-in process Anne and I have been working on. (I’ve been planning to blog about it, but its implementation was paused for a bit because of my illness issues.  We also have some big family events and travel coming up, which are likely to get in the way of some momentum building. But, more to come.)  As originally conceived, our check-ins were focused on helping me get “unstuck” regarding some life goals. But, we’ve been talking about broadening them to include a more general check-in on my behavior, including her asking me something like: “Is there anything you think you should be spanked for?”

 

 

This would be a new thing for us. We’ve talked (and talked, and talked) about having some kind of check-in process, but it’s never really taken hold.  Similarly, Anne has never been big on actively probing for misbehavior or rule-breaking that she doesn’t personally witness, though immediately before a spanking she does sometimes ask me to recount why it is about to happen.

 

 

In preparing this topic, I looked through the old Disciplinary Wives Club website materials, because I thought there was something on there encouraging wives to very aggressively monitor and probe for bad behavior.  Maybe I imagined it, because if it’s on there I couldn’t find it. But, I did find these snippets of advice to the wives in one of the DWC publications:

 

“Discipline should have a positive effect.  It is a waste of your time to continually address the same situation, and it also undermines your authority.  The best way to make sure you are succeeding in bringing a change about is by being very specific about what you expect to see and closely monitoring for the results.

 

Just like you would closely supervise a child to make sure that they were practicing the correct habits you sought to instill in them, you must do this with your husband as well.  This is especially true until he has earned your trust by showing you that he does keep his promises.”

 


And this:

 

“Your success begins with the cultivation of your skills of observation. The more you are aware of what your husband is doing, the less likely it is that you will find yourself losing control. As a DWC wife you are absolutely entitled to ask your husband about anything you want to know and to expect an honest answer.

 

Sure you may get resistance, just like from any bad boy who doesn’t want to tell. But, he has asked for a DWC relationship, he really wants one, and deep down inside he does want to tell you everything.

 

If you have had the responsibility for supervising or raising children at any time, you will recall that it took extra alertness to always be aware of where they were and what they were doing. If you haven’t had that kind of experience don’t worry about it.  Just go along with me now and you will get the idea anyway.”

 

She offered the men some closely-related guidance on accepting authority:

 

You will have to put up with closer supervision than you are used to and she will demand answers and evidence of your performance.  This is perfectly normal and how it is supposed to be.  If you feel resentful about this, or don’t want that kind of accountability, remember how maternal discipline occurs in a “child -parent” situation. The child simply cannot wiggle out of his Mother’s watchful eye. If you are honest with yourself, you will admit that when you get your spankings, it is that bratty little boy part of you who is getting it.

 

As I said, monitoring, probing, and interrogation have never been a big part of our DD lifestyle, though we seem to be moving more in that direction.  And, I know myself well enough to predict that if we do, I probably will resent it as it is happening, just as Aunt Kay warned. But, it also will probably prove to be a very important part of both reinforcing the hierarchy and emphasizing the “maternal” element that we are both increasingly comfortable admitting is a thing for both of us.

 

Regarding staying aware of what I’m doing, journaling is a part of it, though it’s more about giving her better visibility into what I’m thinking and feeling.  But, there is one way in which does do some active monitoring:  She made me enable my “Find My iPhone” app settings so she can see where my phone is at all times and, hence, monitor where I am.  Though, back when I was working I quickly figured out that, while the app does a great job of tracking horizontal movement from one location to another, it can’t do vertical.  Hence, it couldn’t tell her when I’d gone to happy hour with the team, as long as we went to the bar that was 15 floors below our office in the same building!

 

Of course, as Alan points out, actively probing for misbehavior works only if the husband replies honestly.  I admit, I don’t have a perfect track record. On occasion, she’s asked me how many drinks I had after going out with a friend.  I would almost always turn it into a joke and claim to have had one.  Now, technically, I wasn’t telling the truth. But, does it count as a lie when she knows it’s one and you know she knows?

 

 

I have to imagine the biggest impediment to a wife following Aunt Kay’s advice is a lack of confidence.  When we first began our DD lifestyle twenty years ago, I’m not sure Anne had the confidence to actively push my buttons by probing for information in the way Kay suggests.  But, with twenty years of both DD and life experience, I think she is much more comfortable going into “strict teacher” mode to ferret out the information she wants.

 

How about you?  How actively does your wife probe for information regarding your behavior or interrogate you to assess how well you have obeyed her rules? Is there any additional or different consequence for not owning up when asked?



If any wives would like to weigh in, I would love to hear what your approach has been and, to the extent you actively probe for misbehavior or disobedience, is that something you had to grow into over time?

 

Have a great week.  An advance warning that we are going to be traveling this week, so I may be less engaged with the comments than normal.

Monday, March 11, 2024

The Club - Meeting 469 - DD and Healthy Living

“Get comfortable with being uncomfortable!” - Jillian Michaels

 

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led (FLR) relationships.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We miss having you around.

 

As previously announced, I wasn’t planning to post this week. But, I seem to have recovered enough from my bout of illness that I can string some semi-coherent thoughts together.  And, in an indication of how fuzzy my thinking process had been, it turns out we aren’t traveling this week but, rather, next week.  It is such a good thing that I have a smart Disciplinary Wife who actually can use a calendar without screwing it up.

 

There’s not a lot to highlight from last week’s discussion, which is probably to be expected for a topic that focused on the relatively narrow issue of instruments.  However, sometimes a particular comment resonates with me enough to call it to everyone’s attention in case they missed it.  Last week, it was this from Mark, in discussing the cane:

 

“Very like at school though, the ritual is compelling. You voluntarily bend over with both of you knowing that you are about to experience extreme pain, that your bottom is going to be marked with red hot raised welts, and that you will have visible bruising that will make sitting uncomfortable for a week. And then it starts.”

 

In just three sentences, he perfectly captured what a real disciplinary session is like for many of us. What jumped out to be was the “with both of your knowing . . .” line.  When you get a true disciplinary punishment for the first time, you may not understand what you’re in for.  But, you sure do afterward. And, for each session after that, you voluntarily submit.  Similarly, the wife knows what it is she is about to deliver but also that it is beneficial and needed.  Great stuff.  Something about the respective postures of the couple in this drawing by Leondardo seems to me to exemplify two parties who are fully aware of the seriousness of what she is about to deliver and he is about to take.

 

 

As I mentioned when announcing I wasn’t going to post this week, I was struggling with an episodic health issue that I’ve had for well over a decade.  I wrote about  it a bit back in 2021, when I was transitioning out of my career:

 

“So, life is getting back to normal.  Unfortunately, so is some of my bad behavior.  After many weeks of relative temperance, I fell off the wagon.  To some extent, that’s happening because I’ve been in the process of transitioning away from work and that has itself led to a surge in socializing.  But, I do not want my new normal to look like my old normal. And, honestly, I really can’t let it.  For years I’ve had to deal periodically with some nagging health issues, basically a constellation of “chronic fatigue” or fibromyalgia-like symptoms, with periodic bouts of fatigue, joint pain, digestive problems, etc.  The irritating thing is, lately even when I am relatively good on average, if I have one slip-up on diet or drinking or exercise, everything seems to go to shit.  It’s like I must live like a Buddhist monk just to have a shot at feeling somewhat healthy.  It really is irritating as all fuck, though I suspect I have myself to blame, thanks to burning the candle at both ends for so many years.  Even back in high school I was living like I was on borrowed time.  I suspect when you spend 40 years digging an energetic hole, it takes more than a few months of relatively healthy behavior to pull yourself back out again.”  

 


 I could get down on myself and say that the more things change, the more they stay the same. But, getting off the 24/7 work hamster wheel did help. I no longer have quite as stark a choice between living like a monk or suffering the consequences.  And, I don’t really know whether this time it was some lifestyle flubs that led to a flare-up. I did have one day where I had too many beers and ate too many fatty, unhealthy meals.  But, I was starting to feel “off” even before that. 

 

However, I can’t help wondering whether, with better behavior resulting from stricter discipline, I might have avoided the problem altogether.

 

 

It’s in that vein that I bring up something ZM said that I highlighted in that blog entry back in 2021:

 

“DD for health-related things is a very good idea. While it might seem a bit extreme to give a spanking for missing a pill or two, often these small patterns are what ultimately lead to poor health. An extra piece of cake or two here, not getting enough exercise this week because life got busy, not taking medicine when needed, etc. Since the marriage long term kind of requires both partners to be alive, I think it is a totally valid use of DD to help ensure that your spouse will be around for many happy and healthy years to come.”

 

So, that’s the topic for this week.  Have you used domestic discipline to foster better health?

 

If so, how exactly did you go about doing it?  What kind of system, if any, did you put in place?

 

How did you track compliance?  Was it reliant on self-reporting, or were there other ways for her to track how you were doing?



Was the focus on health inputs, e.g., diet, exercise, taking medication, etc.?

 

Or, was it more results-oriented, like getting punished if you didn’t take off enough weight or didn’t succeed in lowering cholesterol or blood pressure?  I know I have a tendency to focus on whether I've "followed the rules," i.e. did I work out, did I eat healthy, often to find the scale didn't budge.  Let's face it, we often have a tendency to cheat or slack off, or we aren't properly motivated to discover what actually budges the needle for us.  So, maybe it would be better to take a "bottom line" approach, assessing whether the goals were actually met?

 

 

And, was using DD to address health issues something you initiated, or did the idea come from her?  In the big scheme of things, I agree with ZM that a wife would be very justified in imposing such a system. There are all sorts of fairly trivial things that a wife may decide to use DD to address.   



I have to admit my own dietary goals have often been as much about vanity as health, which is probably kind of pointless at this age.  No matter how much I exercise, I doubt there is a new career was an underwear model in my future.

 

 

But, doing what you can to ensure your spouse is around for years to come seems like a very worthwhile goal. 

 

I hope you have a great week.  Before I go, speaking of healthy living . . .

 


Sunday, March 10, 2024

No post this week

 Hello all.  Happy Sunday.  I've been under the weather going into this weekend, and we are traveling next week.  So, I won't be posting.  I hope you have a great week.

Saturday, March 2, 2024

The Club -- Meeting 468 -- Cultural Influences on Spanking Instruments

“The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.” - Charles Darwin

 

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led (FLR) relationships.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We miss having you around.

 

I hope you all had a great week.  Mine was OK.  I obviously failed in my goal to post on Friday instead of waiting ‘til the weekend.  I had done some writing in another area earlier in the day and was, honestly, a little burned out.  Though, my enthusiasm was rejuvenated later in the evening as I was re-watching the streaming series Weeds on Hulu and came to this scene from season 4, episode 7. 



Later, you see the main character admiring the lingering hand marks in the mirror. There are a couple of other very explicit spanking scenes in that series. One or more of the writers or showrunners have a spanking thing for sure.

 

We missed our scheduled check-in under our new “performance improvement” system, but we now have committed to doing them weekly, as opposed to my original plan for monthly meetings. I’m still not quite ready to do a full post on it, because we haven’t been operating under it that long.  I will say, however, that Anne seems uncharacteristically enthusiastic and committed to it.  I say “uncharacteristically” not as a dig, but simply in recognition of the fact that we have talked and talked and talked over the years about her really taking over our whole DD process and stepping up the overall level of control and strictness.  In the past, all the talk never gelled into persistent change. This feels . . . different.  

 


I don’t know why, but it may be as simple as she has more time and fewer important distractions than she had pre-retirement.  But, the attitude itself seems different. Maybe it’s like KOJ’s wife dramatically asserting herself once she was no longer concerned about her dominance negatively affecting her career. Or, maybe it’s just the confidence that comes along with age?  Who knows, but I do feel like it’s an interesting transitional period we are going through.

 

 

It was a good discussion last week, though I don’t have much to highlight from it.  I didn’t go back and tally up the responses, but it seems like the group is fairly evenly split between those who would fulfill their fantasies if given the opportunity and those who prefer to keep the fantasy and reality separate. At least with respect to Glenmore’s specific example of a group spanking with multiple spankers and spankees.  There seems to be a similar split on the broader fantasy of witnesses.  I do wonder why that one fantasy is so prevalent, but it clearly is.

 

This week’s topic is going to be pretty succinct, because (a) I’m doing a bunch of other stuff this weekend; and (b) I couldn’t think of a broader topic or a good way to expand this one.

 

It comes from an off-line discussion with Al about some of our instrument preferences, which led to some observations about how prevalent certain instruments were when and where we grew up.

 

It does seem like certain cultures prefer certain instruments, and I’m not sure whether any instrument is ubiquitous across cultures.

 

 

While the ebony hairbrush is, to me, perhaps the most iconic instrument among DD enthusiasts, I don’t think hairbrush spankings were common where I grew up.  I can’t recall knowing about a single instance in which a hairbrush was used for spanking purposes, though of course we were all embarrassed by the spankings we got—even though they were pervasive—and we didn’t go around talking about the details.

 

In the communities I lived in, the almost universally used instruments were paddles and belts. But, while both were ubiquitous, they were used respectively in two very distinct contexts.  

 


At home, the most common instrument by far was the leather belt, wielded with authority by both moms and dads.  However, it usually was dad’s belt that was used, and since it was a cowboy culture, they tended to be thick leather western-style belts or heavy work belts.

 

 

At school, it was the paddle, to the exclusion of every other instrument.  But, as far as I know, paddles were virtually never used at home.  I’m not sure why that bifurcation existed, but it did.  Maybe the absence of paddles for home discipline came down to the fact that most of the men wore belts daily, so there was almost always one readily available, so why invest in a paddle?

 

 

Al and my discussion focused on switches.  They were part of the childhood experience for both him and his wife, but not at all for me.  Perhaps because of the differences in our experiences, switches are still used for adult discipline in his relationship, while I’ve never been switched.  I wonder if this is another example of how geography matters.  I grew up largely in the dry Southwest and sort of the Midwest depending on how you define that. There weren’t a lot of large bushes around, so “Go cut a switch and bring it to me” really would not have worked.

 


Canes seem to me to be a very culturally-dependent instrument of correction.  They are iconic to the English, but are they very prevalent in the US in any non-adult setting, and perhaps, while used for DD, mainly among the BDSM community?

 

 

My impression is that in other parts of the UK, including Ireland and Scotland, straps and tawses are more prevalent than the cane, but I welcome correction by any of our UK commenters.  Given the geographic proximity, I wonder why canes seem to be such an almost exclusively British thing. 

 

I also wonder whether the preference for belts in my early community was because so many of the non-Hispanic population in those areas were of Scotch-Irish descent and the belt was the closest corollary to the strap or tawse?  But, there were also many of British descent, and yet caning was unheard of.

 

 

Although I think that the cultural-based instrument preferences I observed growing up influenced my emotional reaction to certain instruments, they don’t seem to have had much influence on what we actually use. Anne used to use straps a lot, but seldom anymore, and she’s used belts only very rarely. She rarely wears belts, and maybe that's unfortunate. Is there anything as sexy to men wired like us as a woman taking off her belt?

 


Paddles have been more frequently used recently, but not nearly as often as one might expect given how common school paddlings were when we were growing up.  Increasingly, we seem to have settled on the ebony hairbrush and the bath brush, with the latter being by far Anne’s “go-to” instrument, even though neither played any role in our early disciplinary environment. 


I do wish sometimes that canes, while not a part of my upbringing, were part of our adult discipline repertoire.  As time has gone by and having received dozens and dozens of hard spankings, I don't mark or bruise much anymore. And, like the character in Weeds mentioned above, I admit I liked lingering over the marks of Anne's labors, including raised welts from a hard strapping or caning.



How about you?  What were the most common instruments for disciplinary correction where and when you grew up?  Were there certain instruments that were more prevalent in your culture/geographic area?  Do what extent did those early cultural instrument preferences influence your preferences, positively or negatively, as an adult?

 

Have a great week.

Friday, February 23, 2024

The Club -- Meeting 467 -- Fantasies and Things That Should Remain Only That

“Without this playing with fantasy, no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable.” - Carl Jung

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led (FLR) relationships.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We miss having you around.

 

I'm posting a little early this week, as I'm going to be tied up much of this weekend. I may start shooting for more Friday postings, as our comments seem to wind down earlier in the week, and I seem to have fewer things going on Fridays. While I think posting on the same day every week did help build up the blog, I find that in retirement I'm just not very into keeping an inflexible schedule on any front.

 

I hope you all had a great week.  There’s not much to report here.  It was a pretty sedate week, with no major drama.  Although, there was one thing vaguely FLR-related worth mentioning. It was a minor thing in and of itself, but it’s another indication that Anne may be in the early stages of a transformation similar to what KOJ has described in which his wife became far more open in her displays of authority after she retired.

 

 

We were visiting my parents.  Anne was telling some story, and I interrupted her with a somewhat snarky comment.  Without missing a beat and without even turning to acknowledge me, she said very firmly and directly, “Excuse me. I’m speaking,” then went on with her story. Again, it sounds minor, but her demeanor was totally in command, in a way that I’m not sure she would have displayed even a couple of years ago.  And, the fact that she was that comfortable with a confident display of authority in front of my parents, plus two of my sisters, also seems to me to speak volumes about her increasingly in-charge mindset.

 

 

We had a pretty good discussion last week, on what I thought was a very narrow topic.  It’s notable that several of you didn’t accept the underlying premise that DD could be a deal-killer in a future relationship, preferring to take the positive view that it probably would not prove that hard to find a woman who was interested in it or to persuade a partner to try it. And, as Al pointed out, it’s almost certainly a case of “nothing ventured, nothing gained”:

 

“It often seems to be a truism in the F/M DD/DWC community that it is usually quite difficult to convince a wife to take a disciplinary role. However, it is probably even more true that most men are so concerned about the possibility of rejection and looking foolish (weird, unmanly, sick) that they never bring it up (it took me a few years to do so, and even then it was while we were both drunk and swapping sexual fantasies - when I confessed to a "mild interest" in being spanked). This is certainly a very understandable concern, and yet, what I have often seen in spanking forums such as this over the years is that once a wife was approached, they were quite often willing to give it a try to some degree, and many quickly came to enjoy their role as a disciplinary wife.

 

There were different, and somewhat opposing perspectives on the best timing for approaching a future partner about your disciplinary needs.  Mike represented the view that it may take some time to develop the kind of relationship in which one would feel comfortable admitting to that kind of need:

 

I guess it always depends on the person I would be dating. If she had a strong “take charge” mentality and I sensed an authoritative vibe coming from her, maybe I might open up. But it took me 10 years of marriage and being in a very emotionally vulnerable place to finally open up to my wife about my spanking need. I don’t know if I would have that level of trust and vulnerability at the beginning of a relationship.

 

Alan took a different view regarding timing, and I really liked his spin on DD as a “deal-maker” rather than a “deal-breaker”:

 

DD is definitely not a deal breaker at the beginning of a serious relationship, but it can be a “deal maker” and has been for me in my two DD relationships. The depth and intimacy that DD offers make it impossible for other women to compete with a woman who adopts loving female-led discipline. In earlier relationships, I always found myself searching for something missing. What was missing, of course, was discipline and spanking. With it, I am emotionally fulfilled.

 

However, I think waiting is not the best strategy. One reason is simply it is unfair not to tell her of needs that are so deep that might later sabotage your relationship. But a better reason is that early in a relationship is the interval when she may be more open to exploring unfamiliar (to her) aspects of sexuality—and it is also the time she is going to be motivated to show that she wants to meet your needs. What I am suggesting probably actually happens rarely. But in today's world –with the increasing honesty about sexuality (especially for emerging generations), it could work.

 

There was also an unexpected diversion into the topic of pre-spanking erections.  Maybe I’ll do a full topic on that in the future, though we covered it pretty thoroughly in the comments.

 

As the week was winding down, I got this topic suggestion from Glenmore, along with two of his drawings:

 


 

Just another potential suggestion for your blog.  I have attached a couple of scenarios that are likely fantasies for many of us, but my question is how many of us would actually do this, and how would we react if this really happened?

 

·      Would it be worse if you did or didn't know the other men and women?

·      How would you feel about being spanked by the other women, and would you have a problem with your wife spanking the other men?

·      Do you like it but would prefer it just remained a fantasy?

 

Just a few thoughts and I'm sure you could add a few more.

 

Glen’s illustrations centered on multiple spankers and spankees coming together for a disciplinary session.  I’ll answer his questions on that specific scenario, but I’ll also broaden his question a bit to include: “Are there DD or FLR-related scenarios you fantasize about but probably would not actually do if given the opportunity?”

 


My answer to Glen’s specific questions are:

 

“Would it be worse if you did or didn't know the other men and women?” I don’t have a real opinion on which would be “worse.”  But, I do think whether I knew the other men might have a big impact on whether I would ever fantasize about, or be attracted to, such a scenario in the first place.

 

For me, “authenticity” is a big driver of my DD interest.  If there isn’t some element of real accountability/punishment in it, I don’t have much attraction to it.  If a session involved only men and women I didn’t know, I think it would feel like a game or party.  I wouldn’t say I have zero interest in ever attending a spanking party, but whatever level of interest I have is quite low.  So, while I think the scenario is very unlikely to ever happen, any fantasy I would have about it would probably be limited to it happening with someone I actually know.

 

“How would you feel about being spanked by the other women, and would you have a problem with your wife spanking the other men?”

 

Being spanked by another woman isn’t a huge fantasy for me, but I admit to being more than a little intrigued by stories Aunt Kay’s husband has shared about being sent to another woman for a session. There are also stories on the DWC website—like “Military Duty Calls” in which a female soldier going on deployment sends her husband to her mother for a spanking—that I am attracted to, as long as there is a strong, real disciplinary component.

 

As for whether I would have a problem with Anne spanking the other men in Glen’s joint scenario, the simple answer is no.  While it’s hard to know for sure, I honestly don’t think I would have any problem with Anne spanking any man in any real disciplinary scenario. I’m not sure whether I would want to see it happening, but I don’t think I would have any problem at all with her doing it.  In fact, although I think the chance of it happening is virtually nil, I would have tell her to go for it if the situation ever presented itself.

 

“Do you like it but would prefer it just remained a fantasy?” Glen’s specific scenario doesn’t really rise to the “fantasy” level for me. But, I could see it being something I would be open to exploring under the right scenario. I think it probably would have to be limited to one other couple. I would need to have some kind of personal connection to the other husband, though that could include someone I’ve known only electronically through this blog.  Even though I see other men naked in the gym almost daily, I suspect the full nudity would be at least as embarrassing as the spankings.  Would I do it if Anne ordered such a thing?  Undoubtedly yes.  Is it a scenario I would actively pursue in real life? Probably not.

 


As for my own question as to whether there are DD or FLR-related scenarios you fantasize about but probably would not actually do if given the opportunity?”

 

It may seem odd for someone who spends as much time writing about DD as I do, but I don’t have that many fantasies about it. And, I suspect the ones I do have are not the least bit appealing to most of you.

 

I’ve often commented on how envious I am of JR’s woodshed stories, and I do have a thing for both woodsheds and barns and would very much like to experience a real disciplinary spanking in one.  There’s nothing controversial or even all that interesting about that fantasy, of course. 

 

 

However, many of the stories I’ve read that include those elements involved male spankers. There are no shortage of stories out there about being taken to the woodshed by a father or uncle.  Although the woodshed/barn scenario is appealing to me by itself, the M/m aspect of many of those stories also appeals to something deep within me. 

 

In fact, the photo immediately above is one I came across a long time ago as part of a spanking story that involved a dominant male who was in a D/s sort of relationship with a couple.  The husband had done something the dominant male and the wife agreed should be punished, but the wife kept blowing off phone calls to schedule it. So, the dominant male interrupts a dinner party the couple was hosting and lets the husband know he will make a scene if he does not accompany him to a horse barn on the couple’s party.  Once there, he whips him to tears before letting him go back to the party. That story is one of the first in the spanking genre that I recall having a very strong reaction to.  A big part of my DD need is rooted in wanting to have my will overcome such that I am held to account even when I don't want to go along with it.

 

I’ve also recounted that, while I seldom dream about spanking, a particularly vivid one I did have involved being taken from a party at work to be spanked by a male office manager, with everyone in the party (including Anne, my mother and my dad) knowing it was going to happen. 

 

Are these M/m stories and dreams something I might fantasize about but would never do in real life?  I don’t know.  I think that much of my DD attraction is rooted in power dynamics and parental authority, including both maternal and paternal authority.  My morbid desire to have discipline imposed is less gender-specific than it probably is for most of you.  And, in the very unlikely event that Anne was to order such a thing, would I go along with it?  Almost certainly yes.

 

 

There is a sense in which Anne's recent assertiveness, and the "goal achievement" and procrastination check-ins we recently implemented, has been a long-term fantasy, and one I could come to regret.  Just like the M/m and woodshed spanking scenarios appeal to me because they involve being literally and psychologically taken to a place outside my "control zone," a lot of what Anne and I are exploring involves her increasingly setting the rules, enforcing them when and how she sees fit, and generally empowering her in ways that I may have less and less control over as she explores these more aggressive and assertive parts of her personality.

 

 

Most of my other DD-related fantasies are pretty pedestrian and involve being spanked in unconventional or risky places, like the backseat of a car or in the woods.  I definitely would go along with anything like that if Anne wanted to.

 

 

How about you? How do you feel about Glen’s scenario and his questions about it?  Is it something you are attracted to?  Is it an attraction you would be game to pursue in real life, or is it one of those things that is better as a fantasy? Are there other fantasies that fall into that category?

 

I hope you have a good week.