The Club - Meeting 406 - Non-Adult Spankings and Their Impact Today

If you don't get enough time-outs as a child, you get them as a grownup. ~Andrew Bonifacio

 

Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club.  Our weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship.

 

I hope you all had a great week.  It's been generally a good, relaxing stretch here as the summer winds down.  Lots of time spent traveling and tinkering with motorcycles and other projects.  There is nothing at all wrong with that. I even managed to go several days without a computer or tablet.

You all  certainly were productive while I was gone!  During a week when my only post was “Out This Week,” I came back to around 45 comments.  I’m glad you kept the discussion going.

 

As is often the case, the discussion meandered into some interesting areas.  Corner time, others knowing and witnesses (funny how we always seem to loop back to those), shame and fear of others reactions if they knew and, finally, the connection between childhood and adult spankings.

 

I wanted to follow up a little on that last one, because there seemed not to be much consensus on the extent to which being spanked as kids influenced our interest in domestic discipline as adults.  

 

Way back in 2015, when Blogger still had a polling feature, I ran a poll that tried to tease out the extent to which there was a correlation between being spanked as an adult and later interest in DD.   

 

I also tried to find out whether it was connected more closely to one of the parents.   

The poll basically asked how often the respondents were spanked as kids and by whom.  The results were as follows::

 

 

Spanked frequently 14%

Spanked but only infrequently 53%

Never spanked 24%

 

Spanked by mother/not by father 20%

Spaned by father/not by mother 10%

Spanked by both 27%

 

Looking back, it was as poorly constructed as most of my polls back then.  Some rather obvious options I didn’t explore regarding “spanked by whom” include teachers, principals, and non-parent relatives.

 

So, that’s the topic for this week. Let’s flesh it out a little bit more.

 

·      Were you spanked as a kid?

·      If yes, how often and by whom?  Parents?  If so, which one(s)? Non-parent relatives? Teachers? Principals? Others?

·      How old were you when you got your last spanking as a kid?

·      How old were you when you first developed an interest in spanking?

·      How old were you when did you first become interested in adult spanking?  Was your interest in erotic spankings? Disciplinary? Both?

·      Do you think your interest in spanking, whenever it developed, is connected to your spankings as a non-adult, or lack thereof?  Why or why not?

 

When I covered this poll topic in 2015, our previous contributor and co-founder of the Disciplinary Wives Club, Tomy, pointed me to some surveys on the DWC website that covered some of these issues. Something that jumped out at me at the time was that there were several questions that explored the relationship between the respondents’ mothers’ disciplinary practices and later interest in, or openness to, adult discipline.  There were, however, no corresponding questions regarding any possible linkage between father’s disciplinary practices and their adult children’s attitudes toward spanking and discipline.  I wonder why that was?  Maybe some implicit Freudianism at play?

 

 I’ll go ahead and answer my own topic questions:

 

·      Was I spanked as a kid?  Yes, but not often.

·      By whom?  I know I was spanked by both parents but my memories are pretty fuzzy. I think when I was young, my mother was the primary disciplinarian, yet most of my memories (the few there are) involve paternal spankings.  It is certainly possible and, frankly, given the time and place downright likely, that I was spanked by non-parental relatives, including grandparents, uncles and aunts.  But, I have no clear memory of it happening. I do recall one incident of a grandmother getting very mad and threatening a spanking, but I don’t recall it actually happening.

·      I also don’t recall how old I was at the time of my last spanking, though I do remember that one quite well.  I think I was probably around twelve years-old.

·      When did I become interested in spanking? I don’t remember having any interest in it at all, other than wanting to avoid it, until I was in my late 30s.  For a short period of time, my interest was in erotic spankings, though those had a disciplinary fantasy overlay.  I think the only reason I was interested in erotic spanking at that point was it was all I had been exposed to. I don’t think I even knew “real” adult spankings were a thing, until I came across the Disciplinary Wives Club. From that point forward, my only spanking interest was disciplinary spanking.

 

Do I connect my adult interest with being spanked as a non-adult?  I don’t, though I don’t pretend to have a definitive answer.  If anything, I think the connection would involve *not* being spanked often enough and that lack of external discipline being one aspect of having very little in the way of imposed boundaries by the time I was a teenager.

 

In my early childhood, we were living in a part of the country where spanking was always in the background.  Every kid was spanked, or at least every boy.  It was just part of the culture.  I have some memories, but very dim, of being spanked by both my mother and father during that period.

 

We moved when I was in grade school, and I experienced a block of years in which a father figure wasn’t around or I had little relationship with one. I don’t know, but I suspect, that the absence of a father figure may be why I’ve always had a morbid attraction to M/m discipline themes. A few years ago, a commenter on this blog wrote the following:

 

One Saturday when I was 15, my older brother, who was 16, got caught smoking grass. My dad told my brother that he would be punished severely until he had some sense knocked into him. He made my brother wait almost a week.  After dinner on the following Friday, my dad took my brother downstairs to my dad’s basement workroom. Through the vents we could hear the swats of my dad's thick black belt landing on what we all knew was my brother’s bare bottom. Only when my brother was sobbing and begging to be forgiven and swearing he would never touch grass again did my dad stop. . . . I don’t know why but I was so aroused by it all.

 

The commenter was not the only one aroused.  Stories like that have always touched a nerve with me.  It may be no accident that I've always found "woodshed" stories so arousing, and in those stories it is often a father or uncle doing the spanking.

 

 

I think part of the emotional reaction I have to stories involving spankings by a father or uncle is bound up with my need for discipline to be "real."  While I believe real DD relationships must be grounded in consent, the reality is I've always wanted the discipline to be imposed on me whether I consent or not.  Deep down inside, I know that I am capable of physically resisting a spanking by most women, though I don’t don’t there are exceptions. 

 

I also tend to get turned on my spanking art or captions that involve being subject to parental rules, having curfews, consequences for not following the rules, etc.

 

I suspect that as an adult, material that focuses on rules and consequences stirs something in me precisely because I didn’t experience much of those during my teenage years, and part of me wishes I had.

 

For a long time, I've maintained that I had no interest at all in DD until my late 30s, and that is true.  I have started to wonder, however, whether the attraction to female authority came earlier. I've been self-aware for a long time about the fact that I tended to be attracted to older women, and that attraction goes back at least to high school.  While I knew I liked more mature women, however, I don't think at that time I had the right contextual orientation to think of that not so much as an age thing, but possibly more about authority.  I knew I was attracted to powerful women, but I was always younger than them and I connected the attraction to age, not authority or hierarchy.  Now, I wonder if there were some stirrings of an FLR-type way back then but I wasn't equipped to recognize them as that.

 

So, tell us about your non-adult disciplinary experiences and your observations and theories about what impact (no pun intended) they have on you today.  In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this rather ironic bit of spanking art involving fathers and sons.