“It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.” - Ashleigh Brilliant
Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Wives Club – Tribute blog. Our weekly on-line gathering of women and men who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship of the type advocated by the former Disciplinary Wives Club (archived copy in the “Links I Like” list, below right).
I hope you all had a good week. Mine was . . . probably the closest to normal I’ve had in the last almost six months. I was afraid that our road trip a week ago might cause another setback, but it proved not to be too bad. I was a little more sore and swollen at the end of it, but I recovered pretty quickly. That was in part thanks to some prescribed steroids, but even after I was off of those, I didn’t experience a big step backwards. As a result, this was the first week that I’ve been able to go to the gym regularly and do something vaguely resembling an adult workout, which for me is a BIG deal as the gym was a big part of my almost-daily routine before all this nonsense started.
In short, while I’m still hobbling around, I’m starting to inch closer to being only normally age-impaired.
And, the leaves continue to turn, and a few overly ambitious neighbors have put up a few Halloween decorations, all of which always puts me in a good mood. Love this time of year – for so many reasons!
Thanks for the discussion about attitude. It seems to be something that many wives address and that most of us want them to. Unfortunately, there weren’t a lot of comments or interplay that suggested a new topic for this week, so I’ll have to wing it.
A few weeks ago, when we were discussing some of the DWC pamphlet materials, the subject of maternal discipline came up. I’m not going to do that one again, but one of the references to “maternal” versus “child” roles got me to thinking about origins and influences.
We’ve talked quite a bit over the years about whether being spanked as kids influenced our interest in DD in later life. It occurred to me, however, that for those who were spanked as kids or young adults, we haven’t really explored the age range.
So, a very concrete question occurred to me: For those who experienced corporal punishment as young adults or kids, how old were you when you got your last real punishment spanking? In hopes of getting a few more responses, let’s also include spankings you witnessed or overheard.
I’m talking about real punishment spankings that pre-date your adult DD relationships.I’m guessing that for most of us, it was pre-college, but maybe a few with a particularly strict parent or other authority figure got them even after high school?
It occurs to me that it's interesting how attitudes have flipped more than a little on age and spanking.
When most of us were growing up, it probably was the case that most adults thought there was an upper age limit for spanking, and it was pretty low.
Now, it's routinely assumed that young kids shouldn't be spanked at all, while plenty of fiction aimed at young adult women includes spanking themes.
Were it not for the dramatic drop-off in corporal punishment generally, I can't help but wonder whether disciplinary spanking would have become a much more prevalent thing for young adults, for the simple reason that so many of them are living at home these days.
It's not hard not to imagine many frustrated parents of those in their twenties--or older--who increasingly "fail to launch" might secretly love to use the basement couch their adult child is living on to support a little adult discipline.
Or, maybe it was in the high school years? In the quote above, T. didn't identify the age of his last spanking, but I seem to recall from prior posts that it was sometime in his high school years.
I suspect for most, though, it was younger. Junior high/middle school? Earlier?
I realize this topic is pretty narrow, so let's expand it a bit by getting into the details? Who was your last punishment spanking before you got into an adult DD relationship from?
Mother? Father?
Aunt? Uncle? Grandmother or grandfather? Other relative?
Teacher? Principal?
Friend's parent?
If you’re willing, give us some details. What situation led to it? Where did it happen? What instrument was used, if any?
For me, I don’t recall exactly what age I was. (I am like the opposite of a savant when it comes to dates and ages.) But, I’m guessing I was around 12 or 13. It was a whipping from my step-father, with a belt. The setting was maybe a little unique, as it was outdoors while we were working on a ranch my parents owned at that time.
I also have a very vivid memory of being sent to the vice-principal’s office and assuming I was going to get paddled. The teacher actually liked me, however, and apparently sent a note telling the vice-principal that he wanted to give me a scare but didn’t necessarily require an actual paddling, so I ended up not getting one. I, again, don’t remember exactly how old I was or what grade I was in, but I think it was probably around sophomore year in high school.
Other than that, I don’t have a strong memory regarding other spankings in my teens or pre-teens. I do recall one spanking received by my step-sister, which she got for bullying me (which is now kind of embarrassing).
Another way to broaden this topic is to loop back to a topic T. suggested a few weeks ago that relates to his last spanking:
“For me, when my wife orders me over the bed, it brings me back to my youth. My last spanking was for stealing. I had trouble holding position as the paddle rained down on my bare bottom. I ended up getting paddled lying face down on the floor. I embarrassed my mother, so she was going to embarrass me. The exposed position and the reluctance to bend over at that moment hits triggers for me. I know we have touched on it, but another in depth topic could be how our youth affects our DD or FLR today.”
For me, it probably is accurate to say that my youth affects my desire for DD spankings more than spankings affected my youth. The reason I don’t remember many spankings is because I didn’t get many as a youth. That one incident was the only one from my step-father. By the time I was a teenager, he had adopted the explicit rule that, unless I got into serious trouble I couldn’t get myself out of, there would be no rules.
And, while I’m confident my mother spanked me, it was when I was pretty young.
Yet, I do feel that spanking and discipline or, rather, their absence did affect me and my adult DD desires. I was fairly out of control in high school and even more so in college. With no external discipline, I didn’t develop self-discipline so much as I showed a lot of talent for getting into trouble but also getting myself out of it. But, having that kind of responsibility at a young age left me feeling chronically overwhelmed and on edge.
I’m often in the dark about exactly where my DD interest comes from, since I didn’t have an early spanking interest, but I am fairly confident that it had something to do with an absence of spanking/disciplinary consequences in my youth leading to a later perceived need for boundaries, and a strong attraction to DD when I discovered in my thirties that it was “a thing”. I'm sure it's no coincidence that I have a fairly strong reaction to memes and stories that involve being taken in hand by a strong adult while in high school or college, because that was the period in which I most needed the boundaries that I didn't experience at an earlier age.
And, while Anne and I don't do age play, she once said something to me along the lines of, "You're like a boy who keeps pushing and pushing his mother's buttons until she's finally had it with you, then you act all surprised to find yourself in for a spanking." I think both of us are into the idea of me being in that late teenage/young adult phase and needing a spanking, probably because like a lot of men, that's where my maturity retreats to sometimes.
A somewhat related issue, particularly with respect to who was involved in our late childhood/early adult spanking experiences and how that affected us, came from ZM a couple of weeks ago. I had talked about how the DWC pamphlets and website materials encouraged husbands being spanked by other DWC wives, noting: “That grant of authority for the husband to be spanked by other DWC wives, to me, borders on Femdom.” ZM responded
“[M]aybe true, however, when you consider the distinctly maternal slant in these pamphlets, is it really all that different than when we were kids, where we knew that we might be subject to discipline from aunts, teachers, and sometimes even our friends’ parents if our parents happened to know them well? There is a part of me that craves that sort of openness when everyone knows you are subject to authority, and for the most part knows when anyone got spanked. And of course, in other ways I am glad it isn’t that way…”
ZM’s comment illustrates perhaps another way in which my youth affects, if not our DD, at least my DD interest, today. Like ZM, part of me kind of craves an openness in which others know that I am subject to Anne’s authority and at least some others know not only that I get spanked but are in the know regarding particular spankings.
In my ideal world, Anne would have an actual DWC-like group of friends who were totally open with each other about disciplining their husbands, including all the gory details. Like ZM, I relate that desire to what I experienced as a kid, living in an area where relatives and family friends felt they had total authority to spank someone else’s kid, and all of them knew that their spanking would likely lead to another at home. The culture was just incredibly open about spanking, both in general and in the particulars, and it's certainly possible that it left me with a craving for such openness today.
How about you? At what age did you receive your last punishment spanking before getting into an adult DD relationship? What were the circumstances? Do you think it influenced your adult DD relationships or desires? In what way?
Have a great week.
