Saturday, July 25, 2020

The Club - Meeting 349 - Witnesses

But that intimacy of mutual embarrassment, in which each feels that the other is feeling something, having once existed, its effect is not to be done away with. - George Eliot

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, Domestic Discipline relationships.

I hope you had a good week.  Mine was tiring.  Several very early morning meetings, back to back.  I’m rolling into the weekend pretty exhausted.  While my week was tiring but boring, for others it was a little more exciting.  Who in the world could have predicted stuff like this would be happening in real life:

   
Well, we shall continue to let 2020 play out as it will.  For this week, however, let’s get right to it.  Our discussion last week was about severity, but one of line of comments went off on the subject of humbling, and then became more focused on the issue of others knowing.  A light bulb apparently went on for ZM’s wife, and she seemed to understand a bit better about one of this fantasies – others knowing and possibly witnessing a spanking.  She even identified a mutual friend as the possible witness.  Now, at this point it sounds like they are just talking through one of his fantasies, but these things have a way of taking on a life of their own.  So, I hope he will keep us updated on that front.  In the meantime, the discussion led Liz to suggest this topic:

For both husbands and wives, if there WAS going to be a witness, with no getting out of it, who would you choose and why?

It’s a great question, and one permutation on it is who would be doing the choosing.  In looking back at some older posts where we talked about witnesses, I found this anonymous comment:

We have often discussed telling another woman about our spanking activities and this has been a very exciting fantasy for both of us. Recently, however, my wife has suggested that we take this fantasy and make it real. She has told me to choose among three women who will be told about my spankings. I must choose either her mother, her sister or her old college roommate who will be coming to visit for a month this summer.

I posted this issue as a question on a Yahoo forum last week and have gotten some interesting advice. (Too many thought all three should be told. That is not going to happen.) My wife wants to tell her sister because she hates keeping secrets from her. And she has pointed out that when her old friend visits for a month, it is possible that I will be spanked during that time and it might be easier if she knew ahead of time.

In my mind, I have ruled out her mother. (That just seems icky.) I find the thought of either of the other two knowing exciting (but that is still fantasy). My wife has insisted that this is going to happen. The only choice I have is which one gets told. I seem to recall that in your old guest book (that is now offline) many of your “guests” told stories not only of others knowing but of others actually getting involved. My wife and I used to really enjoy reading those comments (but of course we don’t know how many were just the guests’ own fantasies).

He eventually chose his wife’s college friend. His story makes me feel some vicarious embarrassment just reading about it.  While having a witness seems inherently humbling or embarrassing, at least the first time, having to participate in choosing the witness seems even more so.  But, the torture wasn’t quite that simple, as his wife told him that she intended to tell her friend soon but refused to tell him when, leaving him with the possibility of talking to the friend without knowing whether she had been told yet and trying to figure it out for himself.  Evil women.  😈


Interestingly, while witnessed spankings are the exception for most of us in our adult DD relationships and the prospect seems very embarrassing, I'm guessing a fairly large number of us have experienced one in our youth. Witnesses were not uncommon at all when I was  growing up.  Indeed, adults had no hesitation to spanking in public, in front of adults or other kids.  



And, while being spanked with others knowing or witnessing was embarrassing, wasn’t it also titillating in some way to know that someone you knew was getting a spanking or about to be spanked?

  
And, as we discussed last week, even having someone in your life who knows about your spankings can be embarrassing even if unwitnessed.


So, who would I choose?  That’s really hard.  I honestly cannot envision it happening with any of my family.  Same with my wife’s.  It’s just not the kind of thing any of them would do.  Though, I do have one sister who has always kind of resented me, and I suspect that she might actually get off on watching me get spanked.  My wife really doesn’t like or respect her siblings, and hates her sister, so I think as a practical matter her family is out as well. 

That leaves friends, whether hers, mine or mutual.  I don’t know many of her friends all that well, but it’s hard for me to envision any of them who I know being into watching her husband get spanked.  Which leaves my friends or mutual friends.  As I’ve recounted before, to my knowledge, there are only two people who know who I am and that my wife gives me real disciplinary spankings.  One is a mutual friend (female) my wife and I have known for many years.  The original connection was through me, but she and my wife also got close over time.  I have been friends with this woman for many years.  One day we were having a few drinks at happy hour.  She asked how my wife was doing and how things were going for us, and I found myself blabbing to her about this new lifestyle we were exploring.  I can't say I wasn't embarrassed talking about it, though this friend is one of the least judgmental people I've ever known, so I was really more embarrassed by the kinky nature of the activity and my male reticence to talk about such things openly than out of fear that she would judge me for engaging in it.

The other person who knows me and knows that I am spanked is a female blogger in an FLR relationship. We started corresponding with each other through blog comments, then through emails, and over time we developed enough mutual trust that we were comfortable revealing who we are in "real life."

For me, either of these two women could be a candidate to witness a spanking.  I suspect my wife would prefer our mutual friend, if only because she is, in fact, a friend to both of us and one with whom we have a long relationship.  The issue I see with it is that, while she is very non-judgmental, she’s almost too much so. What do I mean by that? Well, I think KD hit it on the head last week regarding why it is more embarrassing when the person who knows is either in the lifestyle or actively believes we deserve what we’re getting:

These people aren't mistaking this talk of spanking for spicy conversation over some playful bedroom kinkiness that Rosa is revealing. They understand these are real spankings for actual issues. And while being on the receiving end of even a playful spanking is more embarrassing than being known as the person on the giving end, having someone know that the spankings are painfully real punishments is much worse.

And the second factor is their degree of support. We've opened up to some people who are 'accepting' of this quirk, but aren't overly in agreement that this is some ideal arrangement. It's more like they're OK with it, but that's kind of it. When people like that are let in on something, their knowledge is embarrassing, but not nearly as much for me as if the person is more enthusiastically in support of Rosa's authority. We are out to a lot of people and the vast majority fall into that accepting category, but there are a special handful that fall into the more supportive category.

Essentially the reason people like this knowing are more embarrassing than others is that they understand the spankings are real, AND think they're an appropriate outcome for me in particular. It's that combination that seals the deal.

Our mutual friend is very accepting, but she isn’t into disciplinary spankings herself, and I think she might actually be a little too forgiving of my faults, having experienced them first hand for many years.  If Anne were to spank me in front of her, I think her reaction might look something like this: 


On the other hand, my blogging friend checks a lot of boxes that might maximize the embarrassment.  She is very strict with her own husband, and I think it is unlikely that she would be looking askance or clutching her pearls at witnessing a spanking. She also would be pretty likely to actually encourage one if she thought I deserved it.  I think she’d be a lot like Tomy describes Aunt Kay at certain DWC functions where men were sentenced to be spanked for their transgressions then led away for it to happen.  She’s quite a bit younger than me, which makes it seem even more embarrassing.  Finally, we are in the same profession and actually do have some contact with each other in that context, which is always weird in the moment because I'm hyper-aware that she knows about my DD lifestyle and no one else in that context does.   

It all adds up to a scenario that theoretically could happen (though I think it highly unlikely that Anne actually would spank me in front of this person or anyone else), which makes me feel embarrassed just thinking about it. And, isn’t embarrassment the point?  This isn’t something I want to happen, but if it did, and if it were to have a disciplinary goal, it would have to be embarrassing or humbling to have that, right?  For that reason, I'm not sure something like hiring a pro to witness a spanking would have much emotional impact.  I think that kind of impact really would require the participation of someone I either know fairly well or am likely to encounter in vanilla settings.   I doubt I would be that embarrassed in front of some stranger I’d never see again. Though, I could be wrong.

Of course, things might look different from Anne’s perspective. I could see her gravitating toward someone she knows very well, like our mutual friend.  Or, one of her other friends who might be more open to something like this than I know.  I can see how that might really unleash something in her.  Alan has observed that his wife’s spankings in front of a witness tend be even harder than his unwitnessed spankings.  It’s almost like the wife is showing off, or declaring her power and authority to deliver a real spanking.  

Would it ever happen?  As I said, I really doubt it.  But, who knows?  She definitely is more comfortable in her power these days, and for all I know she might get off on displaying it. In fact, I'm not sure that wasn't the case more than a decade ago when I told our mutual friend that Anne spanks me. They later had a very frank conversation about it over drinks at a football game, then called me from their car and Anne told me over the speaker phone that she and our friend had talked all about how I am spanked and why.  She capped it off by announcing that I would be getting one that night.  So, it’s not quite as big a leap as it seems now, when we've settled into certain patterns and left openness still mostly unexplored. 

Although, perhaps a witnessed spanking is not likely in the cards for you, if it were who would you choose to be the witness if, once chosen, there was no getting out of it?  Why?  How do you think that person would react?  For the wives, how do you think it would make you feel to spank your husband in front of someone?  Or, if that is too big a stretch, what about just telling someone that you spank your husband? Is that something you have done?  Is it something you can see yourself doing in the future?  If so, who would you tell?  For the men, do you have a desire for others to know you are spanked?  How about taking the next step and being subjected to a spanking with a witness?  How do you think that would make you feel?

Have a great week.

87 comments:

  1. For me I have been spanked in front of witnesses. I have been spanked in front of my sister in law, one of my wife's best friends and just recently my neighbor. My sister and mother in law knew about our lifestyle because before we were married we explained to them how our lifestyle will be because of my wife's previous marriage which was so bad. It was the same for my wife's best friend. My wife explained to her friend the lifestyle we will be practicing because her friend was concerned about my wife re marring.

    The neighbor finding out was by accident. One day I was getting spanked in the living room and the neighbor came over. She didn't ring the door bell because when she came to the door she heard a spanking taking place and knew it was me because of my wife scolding me and cracking the paddle down on me. She later asked my wife about it and my wife explained it to her which I didn't know. About 6 months later I was getting spanked in the living room when the door bell rang. My wife ask who it was she she said it was Mellody and my wife told her to come in. When she came in my wife told her she just put me over her knee to spank me and will be finished in a few minutes. The neighbor sat down and watched. I was so embarrassed and later my wife told me Mellody knew about our lifestyle. Now I wonder if Mellody told her husband.

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    1. Reply
      Dan,
      I would be interested to know more detail about the link to your wife's previous bad experience and your mutual decision/ intention to make your marriage DD from the start ( or early on). Was this a pre-condition for her or something you thought would make her comfortable trying marriage again or did the DD decision come from elsewhere? My wife and I shared a similar reluctance on her part that seems to resemble your situation. I never really thought about it before but I wonder how common it is for women to adopt male discipline after previous bad marriages or relationships.
      Alan

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    2. Hi Alan,

      I was married before my current wife and she wouldn't have anything to do with a DD relationship. After my divorce I met a woman who is now my wife. I really wanted a DD FLR relationship. After dating several months and she told me about her ex husband how he was an alcoholic, abuser and he cheated on her. When it looked like things were getting more serious I decided I had to talk to her about this. I went on the internet and printed off all the information I could find on DD and FLR and put it into a notebook. One day she was at my house and I brought up the subject. She wasn't very interested in it so I gave her the printed material and told her to take it home and read it and we can talk after. She took it home and I didn't hear from her for 3 or 4 days then she showed up to my house and said she read over the information and was interested. We talked and decided we would try it after we were married. When I finally proposed and she said yes she said we have to talk to her mother and sister because they will not be happy with her getting married again after her first marriage. The next day we went and talked to them. They were not really happy but we explained how our relationship will work and they seemed okay with it.

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    3. Dan,
      Thanks for the background. It seems like reading some literature on spanking or DD is sometime a real game changer. Some of the best has apparently been written by women which probably shouldn’t’ surprise. Aunt Kay’s DWC was read avidly by my former girlfriend and she adopted many of her recommended practices.
      Alan

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  2. This nearly happened for us this past winter, and though I was the one who pushed back, I'm very hopeful it will eventually occur.
    My wife's out-of-town (very attractive) friend was visiting. She already knew that I was spanked, but it had never been addressed between the friend and myself.
    With a couple drinks in the ladies, my wife got a gleam in her eye - let's do this!
    Even though this is a major fantasy of mine, I was the one who declined. While the friend seemed agreeable, these days, you want to be sure sure sure before you suddenly strip in front of a new woman!
    So, as a compromise, I suggested we review my wife's 'toolbox'. I got to watch the ladies go over a variety of our implements, and saw her friend take a few 'air-swings' with my favorite strap,and my wife's home-made paddle.
    So it's all on the table now. No one, including me, can say they weren't warned. Someday, when this pandemic is over, we'll get back to that project!

    As far as others, there's one couple we know well who I think could benefit from FLR/DD. Though less likely to happen, I could imagine 'demonstrating' to the two of them. Outside of a couple, I wouldn't want a spanking seen by another man.
    CrimsonKing

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    1. Hi CK. A couple of times I tried topics asking people to talk about friends or couples who they think could profit from DD and whether they might find a way to introduce them to it. Those topics always kind of flopped. I have one friend who I think is a poster child for someone who needs to be spanked hard, though he's hardly the only one.

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  3. Well, ahem, I have a certain expertise in these matters!

    I think many tend to underestimate the willingness of many (not all) women to watch a husband being spanked by his wife, even with full-on nudity and the whole nine yards. It's at once interesting, titillating, amusing and empowering for the witness. Nobody thinks much of the poor husband's predicament. They understand intuitively that he is consenting and on some level wants it. In my experience they even tend to a little cruelty in egging the spanking on. The kicking and wailing of the grown man getting his buns roasted by his little wife seems oddly satisfying. A little "payback" for all the indignities and insults suffered by women from men. Of course, you need to choose wisely somebody you can trust not to blab all over the neighborhood. It gets exponentially cruel when adding more than one female witness at a time.

    As somebody mentioned earlier, having a woman involved who interacts regularly with the husband brings it to another level, and changes that relationship in good ways. She has power over him now, and he best behave for real! My older sister plays that role in our lives.

    For my own part, I know it's weird, but I get a squirmy embarrassment knowing that my Dad knows I am spanked by my husband when I deserve it. It's so normalized now that it's become a little family joke. Also recently let my husband's best friend witness a spanking. I love certain people in our lives knowing I am a spanked wife and that my husband wears the pants in the family. I am a bit of a "trad wife" that way. It builds me up to build him up like that.

    With strangers or people not so close, I like them knowing I am a strict wife who spanks her husband. It's empowering for me. So we prefer involving relative strangers (once invited a waitress over!), or pros (like massage girls or escorts) in witnessing his spankings from me. One of our historical favourite witnesses has been his female personal trainers. Generally attractive, fit, open minded, strict young ladies, and there is a built-in excuse for the punishments.

    All this stuff is on my blog if you're interested!

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    1. "A little "payback" for all the indignities and insults suffered by women from men." I can definitely see how that might be a thing, maybe even more so in the MeToo era.

      "[H]aving a woman involved who interacts regularly with the husband brings it to another level, and changes that relationship in good ways. She has power over him now, and he best behave for real!" I get this, too, even though it's subtle. I guess any time someone knows something "secret" about you, it does give them a certain power over you, and maybe that is what I feel when I look at my friend who knows about my spankings. Though, in that case, I think it's more just the fact that she knows and may be envisioning me in that position.

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    2. ""I think many tend to underestimate the willingness of many (not all) women to watch a husband being spanked by his wife, even with full-on nudity and the whole nine yards. It's at once interesting, titillating, amusing and empowering for the witness. Nobody thinks much of the poor husband's predicament. They understand intuitively that he is consenting and on some level wants it."

      That's a great sentiment, Julie (and yes, we do all enjoy your blog!) I'm pretty certain that's the case with my wife and her friend - I know they do talk about alot of personal things!
      CrimsonKing

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    3. Hi Julie,
      Very insightful comment. Having not done this I can only guess what their reaction might be, but it seems you have had pretty positive experiences.

      -ZM

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  4. Hi Dan,
    Great thought provoking topic, even if it might just be hypothetical.

    There are several key criterion for this. It must be someone we both know, someone I see from time to time, but not on a daily basis, someone with discretion, and someone who is open minded.

    The person should know my wife very well, so they understand that this is consensual. And I should at least know the person and there should be possibility of future contact, since the whole idea is for this to be somewhat humbling. But not someone that I see constantly, because it would change the dynamic between us, so it couldn’t be any of my co-workers. Also, if it is a married female, I would prefer that I am not friends with her husband, since that would make two awkward relationships.

    Our society complicates things compared to if we were in America, since it is a small country where everyone knows everyone, and they LOVE to talk about people. Furthermore, it is very traditional and completely patriarchal, so a wife disciplining her husband or anything FLR in nature would be strange. This makes discretion and open-mindedness important, leaving a limited number of people.

    For example, one of my wife’s co-workers who I know but have only met occasionally seems pretty open-minded, and she would otherwise be perfect for this, since she is super fun (and funny) and she loves to tell my wife to tell me “hi” and so on. She would have a field day with this, since every time my wife would talk to her she would have some funny and probably humiliating thing to relay on to me. I can only imagine what I would be thinking during girls night out! But she lacks discretion.

    The one my wife mentioned last week is close to both of us, but especially me; she very much feels like my sister. It would be very humiliating if she knew, and she wouldn’t be my first choice if she also had to witness it. She has a lot of discretion, and I trust her implicitly, so the question would be how open-minded she would be. With her, you would want to test the waters and see how she reacts, since she can be somewhat judgemental.

    My wife’s sister lives in another country and doesn’t come often, but my wife and her talk daily and are very close. Discretion wouldn’t be a problem with her, but I am not sure about open-mindedness. I have almost no contact with her, so it would be more indirectly humiliating, since when my wife is talking on the phone with her, it would be present in my mind that she knows.

    And there is a lifelong friend of my wife. She is very liberated and edgy and would have no problems with discretion. I see her from time to time, but don’t know her well.

    And finally, there are a few other friends of my wife, but generally I don’t know them very well or I am not sure how open-minded they are.

    In the end, it all depends. If I had to choose somebody to know (not witness), and if I didn’t have the luxury of screening them and testing the waters to see reaction, I would chose my wife’s edgy friend, since I know she is open-minded enough to handle it and would probably find the whole thing interesting. If I could test it and gauge their reaction, then probably any of these, but I would worry about the first one’s discretion.

    As far as having a witness, I would prefer that to not be my close friend, so any of the others. Or alternately, ANY of my wife’s friends if I had happened to offend them or make them angry with me. Now THAT would be a really interesting dynamic!

    As for how they would respond? I think it would depend more on which one was chosen, but probably all of them would find it at least somewhat funny.

    -ZM

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    1. It does end up being quite the checklist,doesn't it? Open-minded, close enough to both parties but maybe not too close to the recipient, having a track record for discretion, etc. I think you're also right that the reaction of many might be to find it funny, though I'm not sure whether that would give me the humbling that would be the main point. I think ideally I would need that element that KD identifies, i.e. them agreeing that this is something I deserve.

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    2. Hi Dan,
      Having no experience at this, I can’t really predict how it would feel, but I think even if the witness found it funny, I would still probably feel mortified. And quite frankly, DD is such an alien concept here, I doubt that we would be able to find anyone who would view it as anything other than a kinky game. It took my wife several years to get past that point and begin to grasp that it is a real tool that she can use to affect real change, and we have talked about it endlessly for 5 years.

      -ZM

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    3. On the other hand, if the witness had a genuine grievance towards me and was upset or angry, then in that case she might have a much more serious response...

      -ZM

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  5. Witnessed spankings were part of growing up. If it was just family involved, the emotions were dominated by fear and anger. I hated seeing/hearing my siblings punished and, if it was me in trouble, I was much too concerned about the spanking to consider what others thought about it. At a younger age, it was weird, because I got some perverse pleasure in having other kids in the neighborhood know I had been spanked, and I loved hearing about their punishments. As an adolescent, though, I did a 180 on that. I was deeply embarrassed when even the word spanking was uttered in mixed company. A spanking then became a nightmare scenario, and I had a few very bad experiences where the humiliation felt was more painful than the physical. When the witness was a girl close to my age, it was mental torture. And I became sexually fascinated by it. I was disappointed that I didn’t know what the witness felt and thought about what she had seen or heard.

    If I was in a DD relationship, I don’t know how I could handle a public spanking. I’ve never been able to process spanking rationally like a vanilla person would. The prospect is literally terrifying… yet also exciting to consider. I’ve never witnessed or heard about anything like that as an adult, so I must not know anyone like people here who have seen or been seen. I would be highly embarrassed to be involved in any way, even as a bystander.

    I’m still so powerfully drawn to the idea. I want to think about choosing a witness. Man or woman would be terrible, but I want the witness to be a female. That wouldn’t make it easier, but it works best for my fetish. I don’t want it to be a family member, even distant family. Someone unrelated and who I don’t know well would be better, but she would know about the DD relationship and why I was being punished. What would she think about it? It’s a fascinating consideration, and I like to imagine a number of different thoughts and emotions she could have—pity, scorn, righteousness, empathy, embarrassment, excitement… the reaction I would find the least moving is the “I know what DD is, and what a kinky bit of fun.” I agree with KD - “These people aren't mistaking this talk of spanking for spicy conversation over some playful bedroom kinkiness.”

    My wife and I have an acquaintance who I like to imagine as a witness. Before the pandemic, we saw her around and chatted a bit on a fairly regular basis almost every month. She’s attractive in the conventional ways, but there is also some inexplicable aura around her that suggests to me she would be interested in this. She is smart, open-minded and self-assured, and also seems to be an off-beat type who holds a depth of secrets. I could be totally wrong, but she fits the persona of a dominant partner to me. What if she was somehow an aggrieved party, I was in the wrong, and my wife offered her the satisfaction of seeing justice being served? I’m not sure I can describe how it might make me feel, other than devastated. If only it were possible.

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    1. "[T]he reaction I would find the least moving is the “I know what DD is, and what a kinky bit of fun.” I agree with KD - “These people aren't mistaking this talk of spanking for spicy conversation over some playful bedroom kinkiness.”

      Totally agree.

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  6. Some of the most popular posts on my blog are those featuring getting spanked with a witness present , sometimes the spankee knows the witness is present, others the witness secretly watches.
    While this is a wildly popular fantasy , most people say they would be terrified if it actually happened.

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    1. Glen, there certainly is no shortage of DD-oriented art out there involving witnessed spankings. I sometimes have trouble finding good pictures/memes for our weekly topics, but when topic involves witnesses the only problem I have is choosing among dozens of great options.

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  7. I do not post very often, but several years ago I did mention that my mother-in-law heard me getting a spanking. I was by accident; I had been working outside and left the garage door open and she came in. We did not know she was in the house until my wife walk out of the bedroom and started down the stairs.
    I never felt comfortable around her after. We divorced about 4 years later and I know my mother -in -law told most of her friends. My wife had told her best friend from the start which I did not know until after the divorce

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    1. Hi TDK. That is one very practical issue to consider-- if you tell one person, is it very likely they won't tell others. At the very least, their spouse if the spouse knows you. The mutual friend I told has been married twice during the period I've known her, and it's certainly possible she has told either or both of them.

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    2. That is probably what I see as the biggest hinderance to telling anyone. Once you tell them you have little or no control over who the might tell. I just wish we could tell somebody anything and they would automatically and permanently forget after a predetermined period of time. For this I would want them to remember for a while since it would be an interesting dynamic. Ideally they would automatically forget if they tried to tell anyone else!

      -ZM

      -ZM

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  8. Like some others above, I have been spanked in front of witnesses quite often. Both men and women have witnessed and as long as they were over 21, there were all ages as well. Choosing a witness here is also a moot point as generally, whoever is present during my misbehavior become a witness to my punishment spanking. It it occurs at an event or party or dungeon, there have been several cases where some witnesses actually contribute with some good swats of their own.

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  9. Choosing a witness would definitely become moot the more open you are about things.

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  10. Hi all. Just had something kinda funny to share that might provide a chuckle. Ironically , in a way it could be modestly related to the topic, seeing as step 1 of inviting in a witness is letting them know about it.

    We’re in mid heatwave so I spent the majority of yesterday on the couch binge watching a Real Estate show (Love it or List it). This episode was a couple of empty nesters deciding weather to stay and renovate their home or move to a new one. The wife was super opinionated and during the process of making decisions on aspects of the renovation and while assessing new homes as potential options she “put her foot down” a couple times, literally using that phrase more than once. Naturally I noted the husband never pushed back once she said that, he just moved on. They were touring one of the new home options and ended up in one of the upstairs bedrooms. The husband, who feels strongly about staying and renovating their home so was pointing out shortcomings of the house they were being shown, questioning if it can really be considered a bedroom because it was a small, oddly configured interior room w no windows. The realtor acquiesced it was a weird room but could be used for a different purpose than a bedroom and then the wife throws out w a laugh......”it can be your punishment room” O...M...G I did a complete double take thinking.... did she really just say that??? Now there are times I question if I over read into things in the “real world” given my constant DD mindset. But come on...outside of our DD world/community, when was the last time you heard a wife referring to punishment and her husband in the same sentence in public ???? Was she subtly outing themselves on national TV?

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    1. Hi Darren,
      I would love to find that episode. Whether it was serious -however unlikely that might be - or merely made in jest, I LOVE real world mentions or references to spanking, punishment, and domination.

      -ZM

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    2. I watch that show but haven't seen that episode. What I have noticed is that the love-it very confident female designer occasionally gets pretty irritated with the list-it smart-ass male real estate agent, and I could envision her putting him over her knee.
      If anybody figures out which episode it is, let us know. They all have titles.
      Belle

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  11. Dan,
    "For the wives, how do you think it would make you feel to spank your husband in front of someone? Or, if that is too big a stretch, what about just telling someone that you spank your husband? Is that something you have done?"

    My husband has become more kinky over the years. I do think he would be embarrassed to be disciplined in front of a man. He once said he might be open to a woman knowing if she would keep our DD relationship confidential. I would love to out him to my sister, but only if she disciplined her own husband. I'm sure she doesn't and I have never told anyone about my marriage. I would absolutely love to tell my sister her that I have a submissive husband who is disciplined, pampers me, does housework and yields to my decisions. I think she would be shocked that he's wrapped around my finger! My sister has told a few times me she thinks I'm too permissive because I allow him to camp overnight with his friends a few times through the year (lol). She doesn't realize that the optimal word used is "allow".
    CarolH.

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    1. Carol,
      Are you sure your sister doesn't discipline? She sounds pretty no nonsense to me ("she thinks I'm too permissive because I allow him to camp overnight with his friends a few times through the year") Maybe she doesn't spank but calling this permissive is being pretty strict.
      Alan

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    2. Alan,
      I wish that my sister did do DD, but I'm very sure she does not. She is very conservative, like our mother. She never came out and said it, but I think she believes my husband might be tempted in some way, or his friends might be a bad influence on him. I trust my husband. My sister is rather old fashioned. My husband and I are happy so I don't worry. The guys hike, fish and have a few beers. I think my sister wouldn't be comfortable with it if my brother-in-law wanted to do something similar.
      CarolH.

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    3. "my sister wouldn't be comfortable with it if my brother-in-law wanted to do something similar." That is probably because she is not secure about her control of his behavior. That is not a concern that you have.
      Alan

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    4. Alan,
      "That is probably because she is not secure about her control of his behavior. That is not a concern that you have."

      You could be right. I always liked my brother-in-law but you never know anyone until you live with someone and, even then, you learn new things. My sister might have a reason not to trust him, I don't know. I never thought my husband really wanted me to run our marriage as an FLR, beyond some DD, and I thought I knew him very well. It was a surprise that really became obvious when we started sheltering. You are correct, and I don't really have any serious concerns when it comes to my husband. He tells me he's very happy that I was open to indulging his cravings. Seeing how it works out very well for me I think our relationship is solid and he can be trusted. My husband also knows I would be very angry if he ever broke my trust.
      Thanks,
      CarolH.

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    5. I find this a bit interesting as well, the use of the word 'permissive.' She's most likely not into DD, since you know her, but couldn't you "confide" in her the obvious.
      Explaining that if you didn't trust him, your husband wouldn't 'be allowed" to go and saying maybe she doesn't realize it but you have the final say in these matters.

      Then monitor her response or reaction. If comfortable you could bring up something like, "Let's face it we all know most men need to be trained or taken in hand to some degree or another."

      You could comment to her, "you seem to keep.....on a pretty short leash right?" "How do you handle …?" Jennifer

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    6. Jennifer,
      Thank you for your suggestion. It is something to think about. My husband and his friends are going on their camping trip and will do some fishing for four full days beginning next Saturday. I will visit my sister while he's gone, and that will be an opportunity to mention something. Should my sister say anything about him being away, I suppose I could respond by saying, "You know, I let him have his fun. I'm the boss and he knows he can only camp with his friends if he stays out of trouble. He's basically the guy that does most of the housework chores for me and it's a chance for him to let his hair down and do some fishing, relaxing, and have a few beers." (Actually, my boy is mostly bald and shaves the rest, but he doesn't believe it makes him look more masculine and sexy). I suppose I could gauge her response. I don't think I'd mention DD. It would be interesting.
      Thanks,
      CarolH.

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  12. Interesting that you should raise this subject right now. I am currently posting a multi-part story along these exact lines in The Library of Spanking Fiction. So far 10 parts have been posted and there will likely be at least 5 more. The story is called "The Secret" (for obvious reasons) with "profken" as the author. This is the only F/M story I have written. It is entirely fiction.I would be most interested if those who have actually told others (or have others witness) let me know if the scenario I am describing seems plausible.

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    1. Hey there. I too am a LSF author and occasional Forum participant. And I have real world experience with this topic. I have definite opinions on your series and will say briefly here that the plausibility is mixed. If you would like to discuss this you can contact me through my Profile in Blogger since I would rather not hijack this thread.

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  13. Although never witnessed by anyone present, my wife has often spanked me with our home windows open, so any of our neighbors would have certainly 'heard' me getting a paddling.
    Not only this, with me in a drunken state, my wife let it slip to the wife of my married couple bosses that she would spank me if I drank much more, (which she did later at home, and told her). I am now subject to my lady boss texting my wife anytime she see fit that I need an 'attitude adjustment' with a paddle. After I have been made a very sorry and sore man, my wife then texts her back with the news that the deed has been done. The next day at work they'll have fun texting about my unwillingness to take a seat.

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    1. I am amazed that in 2020, a woman who has managed to become a boss would risk her job by engaging in spank-texting an employee's wife. One phone call to HR and she'd be in serious trouble.

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    2. Sounds like a New Jersey thing :)

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    3. I interpreted the comment as his bosses are a couple who owns the company, so they may not care about any HR underling's opinion if they happened to get caught. But, I may be misinterpreting the comment.

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    4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    5. The bosses are husband and wife who own the company as well as being good friends of my wife and I. This friendship is like family.

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  14. I also sort of fall into the "running out of options" category. Out of the people who know.....which are a lot.....to those who know and not only approve, but have a naughty interest in being a witness, I can't think of any who haven't been able to witness, participate, or both.

    So, for me this is sort of a "fantasy question" for a different reason. As such, I would say that if "magic" was allowed, I'd like my late Mother to have been a witness beyond the one possible time she may very well have overheard one, but never commented on it.

    As for the realm of possibility? Well, there are a few "new friends" we are gradually getting more familiar with. There is one person in that group.....a work-friend of Rosa's.....that I can envision being a witness.

    (For the record....you want a witness? Find one. Do it. It's not as big a deal as some make it out to be. My first witnessed spanking ....which also became a "joint spanking" as well..... occurred when I was about 21 or 22. Since then I would have to say there have been many more over the years with a solid little group currently "active".)

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    1. I'm not sure why, but my mother is definitely not someone I would pick, though my subconscious may feel differently, as I recounted a few months ago a spanking dream I had that included her in the spanker role.

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  15. Since Aunt Kay entertained visitors, and we had some group events at home as well as attending parties elsewhere, I have been in quite a few public spanking situations. Most were for what I guess you wold call "entertainment", but the women always seemed to get competitive and spank really hard.

    What was by far most embarrassing for me was that sometimes my lower back went out to the point where I could barely walk. People said I was "conveniently" hurt because it happened on a few occasions. I would probably have thought the same thing. and it's entirely possible that psychological things triggered it. But I cannot over-emphasize the humiliation I felt due to that.

    By the way, the times when I was spanked in the presence of another woman or couple, all I know is the pain of spanking pretty quickly superseded most of my awareness about the witness. But truthfully, the liberation of being with people who knew it all was incredibly satisfying.

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    1. It is interesting that your back chose that particular time to go out. I do have little doubt that there are stress-related triggers for many men's lower back problems.

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    2. Sadly, it happened on more than one occasion. And I would have to agree that the timing makes "avoidance" the leading hypothesis for it. But that seemed to happen predominately in the Gathering settings. Rarely, if I recall correctly, did it happen when it was just us and another couple.

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    3. Hi Tomy,
      Since it didn't happen on every such occasion, it would be interesting to try to isolate the conditions that produced it when it did happen. Just idle speculation but it might have been one or more of the witnesses present or perhaps concern about the severity of the punishment or maybe a recent punishment you didn't want to revisit. In any case I would conclude it was pretty eloquent testimony to the power of a witnessed spanking once you have experienced one
      Alan

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  16. Disciplinary Sessions are frequently witnessed. Discretion is one of husband's sticking points, but I've managed to push the envelope over time. What surprised me was I actually dictated to him that there was going to be a witness the first time. Before I acquired the Brown Spanking Paddle, Disciplinary Sessions for pornography and masturbation were frequent. I was wondering if they were having any effect. At the end of my Disciplinary Sessions, usually I have him bent over something and I'm swatting his bottom with a leather paddle while I extract promises to be good. During that part, I told him if I had to discipline him again for this, my best friend was going to get to watch. She'd asked me a lot of times if she could see him get one. Instead of saying the safe word, he just said "Yes, Miss Cecilia".

    Husband and best friend don't like each other, but, that's what best friends are for. I'd found some pornography on his computer, so I was planning a Disciplinary Session, anyhow. Conveniently, he got mouthy with her (in all honesty, she can be a _______, but when she gets that way, he knows what he's supposed to do). I put him in chastity until Discipline Day. I've been over our Discipline Rituals, so no need to repeat them.

    When I came home for the Disciplinary Session, best friend was with me. We were talking loudly when we came in, on purpose, so he could hear she was here. When I called him out of his corner, he wouldn't come out, at first. I had to go get him and he still didn't want to come out. I scolded him and promised him extra, (which he got). Finally, he came out. Before I began the undressing ritual, I made him apologize to her for being rude, tell her he was going to be spanked for it and ask her if she'd like to watch. She got to see everything. At the end, I made him thank her for watching, apologize again and promise not to be rude to her again.

    I talked to him about if afterwards. He admitted it was very humiliating, especially with her. I encouraged her to make comments during the pre-spanking rituals. During the first two trips across my lap, I don't say much, since I want him to concentrate on the message my implement is delivering to his bare bottom, so I ask witnesses not to say anything until I do. It was effective, too, since it was a little longer than usual before I found more pornography on his computer. He also started to control his mouth more, so it was a while before he was rude to anybody again.

    He does want me to choose people who won't tell everybody. He still has a limit about having a guy watch in private. At first, he even had a limit against events or gatherings, because guys would be there but, I eventually got him to agree to those. The only place other men get to see him are at gatherings or events.

    Mother moved in with us just before baby came. She didn't need her big house she was all alone in and husband's house is big. She wanted to help with baby, anyhow. Since husband's often running around the house in lingerie, we figured we better tell her everything. She actually was quite pleased and wanted to see him get one.

    After I acquired the Brown Spanking Paddle and the tears started, I invited everybody who'd seen him get one before to see it again. Humiliation and humbling are part of my Disciplinary Methods. They see him dressed up, they watch the undressing Ritual, they see him get scolded, they see him get disciplined, they see him crying and it's all very humbling/humiliating for him. For further humbling, a lot of times I'll send him upstairs to change into a maid dress and lingerie and make him provide sissy maid service to me and the witnesses.

    So far, as far as I know, none of the witnesses I've invited have said anything to anybody outside this lifestyle. I only allow those I can really trust to watch. Best friend and mother are the most frequent witnesses

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    1. The apology would have hurt me more than the spanking.

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    2. Miss Cecilia,
      You said, "Disciplinary Sessions for pornography and masturbation were frequent."
      My husband was never into pornography, with the exception of some in college/teenage years. To his credit, he always had a high level of respect for women. Masturbation was a tough habit to crack with him, even after we got married. In that area, I was successful. A chastity device and extra household chores were pretty effect and I won't talk about it further than that.

      You also said you "extract promises to be good." I love that phrase.
      CarolH.

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  17. The witness question, for me, clarifies the nature of our DD relationship more than asking about rituals and implements. I know I wouldn't want anyone entering into the space where my wife is performing an intimate act like bare spanking, or even someone hearing about it. For us, this is very much a marriage thing and not an extended family having one of its own keep another one in line, so it feels right to keep all the non-anonymous details and experiences between the two of us.

    If DD were more common, I could see it coming up as a general topic in social groups, the way sex sometimes is, but that would be quite different from inviting a witness or confidant into our relationship.

    If forced to choose a witness, I would probably go with detached and clinical, like the panel of medical interns with clipboards during my bare-assed cyst removal. Super embarrassing, but inconsequential.

    Perhaps my wife wouldn't see it that way, though. That's the other interesting part of this question, acquiescing to her drive to evolve the DD relationship. What would I do if she said my spankings were going to become extended family knowledge because it's good for me, and disagreed with my assessment of the marital intimacy of spanking? I honestly don't know the answer to that.

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    1. For me, it would depend a lot on whether we were talking within our own nuclear family, or my siblings and parents, her siblings and parents, etc. Not that I think she would ever go there.

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  18. Hi MW,
    You said: “I honestly don't know the answer to that” while pondering what you would do if your wife decided either a witness or wider knowledge that you are subject to spanking was important. That’s an important question to ask yourself for at least two reasons: one is that wives and girlfriends do sometimes decide to tell someone or to take it further and administer a spanking in front of a third party. From my own experience, reading this blog and the internet more generally “telling” seems pretty common. The other reason answering the question is important is that the answer will also tell you how much your wife is or is not in charge.
    Alan

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    1. Alan, true, it is a clarifying question. Telling may be common around here, but we haven't arranged our marriage to give her that power. We lean slightly MLR, mostly equal. We just have a (struggling) DD practice. If my wife told me she was opening up our marriage in that way, unilaterally, I'd be in my full rights based on our agreements and shared view of our marriage to see it as a problem.

      She might privately discuss her situation with others for advice (probably healthy) but that's different from telling me she does that with a particular person on principle, let alone bringing that person into the bedroom.

      Now, it is interesting to think of her growing to become so enraptured with controlling me that she asks for the power to tell and include others as a condition of continuing to spank me. That'd be a big, tempting decision. And in that case, I guess I'd opt for the sister-in-law who would give me a sympathetic hug after watching rather than the one who would laugh at me...

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  19. This is Liz. I would definitely choose my Mom. There are many reasons.

    First of all, I am very close with her. When Art and I were having marriage problems due to his arrogance, I talked to my Mom about it. And of course, when I decided to take the kids and leave, I went to my Mom’s.

    Second of all, spanking was very prevalent in my family. My parents believed in spanking rather than yelling (I’m not saying those are the only two alternatives, but that’s how they presented it to us). All of the kids were spanked, sometimes in front of other family members, friends, and neighbors, though when it was bare bottom it was always in private (in terms of being seen. Others could easily hear it in the next room or from upstairs to downstairs). I grew up thinking spanking was just something that happened. You took your medicine and got over it quickly and thought twice about that misbehavior the next time. We knew our parents loved us.

    Thirdly, my Mom and Dad spanked each other, so I know my Mom approves of spousal spanking. They never did it in front of us, but they did not try to hide the sounds (or at least they did not try very hard). They never did discuss it with us, but we kids did not think it was a big deal. After all, we got spanked (a lot), so why shouldn’t they?

    Fourthly, my Mom already knows that I spank Art. In fact, she was the one who first suggested it (to him) and he then suggested it to me. I really wanted to find out more about the DD between my parents, so I told Art that I wanted to talk with my Mom and that I wanted to disclose that I had started spanking him. He didn’t want me to, but I eventually got him to agree. I told him it would be no big deal to her, and that I wasn’t going to lie to her if she asked me why I was asking all of these questions about her and Dad. The conversations with her (there have now been several) really confirmed for me how to spank a big strong guy like Art (as was my Dad). We use a stout wooden paddle and he is bent over a desk so I can get a full swing. That is similar to my parents. My Mom also used a wood paddle and had my Dad put his hands on the wall and stick out his behind. One difference is that she paddled my Dad bare bottom and I paddle Art with clothes on (his request).

    That’s the fifth reason. My Mom wouldn’t see Art’s bare behind, so really I see no problem with her as a witness. If he was bare, I probably would pick someone else. I don’t think a mother-in-law should see her son-in-law’s bare bottom, and certainly not his genitals.

    Sixth reason is that it would be extremely humbling for my Mom to witness Art being paddled. Humbling really is the purpose of our DD, to reduce Art’s arrogance by making him feel humbled by the paddle. I can't think of a better witness to humble him. I do expect she would make a comment or two, during the paddling and afterwards as well. She was quite the scolder when she spanked me.

    All of these reasons make it very clear to me that my Mom would be the one. I have not discussed this with Art, but I would have no problem paddling him in front of my mother.
    Liz

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    1. Hi Liz. That's quite a list, and she certainly seems to check a lot of boxes.

      You are one of only a couple of women who have commented here who have recounted growing up in a dynamic in which the parents were pretty open about one spanking the other, and it never ceases to fascinate me. While spanking kids was *very* openly practiced when I was growing up, I don't think many adults would have ever let kids know if that was going on between them.

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    2. I find this fascinating too. Growing up, I was hyperaware of anything spanking. Except for entertainment fiction, I never actually heard of any adult I knew getting spanked. Finding out my parents spanked each other would have been eye-opening to say the least. If they did, was it for punishment or pleasure? If it was sexual, what would I have thought about them using spanking to discipline us? Maybe only because spanking is sexual to me, I have a hard time believing adults spank each other without some sexual motivation behind it. At least if my parents were spankos, it would have helped me accept feelings I had about spanking that, until I was in my later teens, I thought were crazy.

      More on topic, if my wife wanted her mother to witness me being spanked, I would have a real love/hate relationship with that idea. I would never even suggest such a thing but, if my wife wanted it that way, how could I not like the way her mind works? That’s really what attracts me to FLR. A wife who not only wants to be a disciplinarian, but will think outside the box to make it even more embarrassing, has the right stuff as far as I’m concerned.

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    3. I find it interesting how my parents were open and not open at the same time about DD. They never discussed it with us, they never threatened to spank each other in front of us, and of course they never did it in front of us. But they didn't try very hard to hide the sounds of spanking coming from another room. Maybe it's just that the sounds of spanking were so common in our home!

      We did figure out that they had a code for a spanking being earned. One would say to the other, "We need to talk." Occasionally they would excuse themselves right then, though more often it would be later, like when they went to bed after putting us in bed. We had bedtimes in our house and strict rules against emerging from your bedroom (other than to go to the bathroom) right up until we went off to college or moved out, and my guess is that parental spanking and sex were part of the reason why. They wanted to know that we were in bed and not coming out of our rooms so that they could feel free to do whatever in their bedroom.

      I have no idea whether there was a sexual motivation to my parents' DD, and I am not going to ask my mom about that. I have not told her and do not plan to tell her that I like to be taken over my husband's knee as foreplay.

      I really don't think there is any sexual motivation to me paddling Art. Neither of us becomes aroused in any direct way. I will say that is is very intimate, and any kind of spousal intimacy can plant the seed of arousal. If I had to guess, I would say that we have sex more often on Monday nights after a Monday morning paddling than we previously had on Mondays before DD began.

      Here is what I wonder about the whole witness thing - if I threatened Art by saying, "The next time you act arrogant, I am going to ask my mother to witness your paddling," would that motivate him to stay humble for a really long time? In other words, be more effective than one of our typical paddlings? What do some of you guys who have been witnessed think? Is the threat of a witness a deterrent to misbehavior? Or does it actually have to happen?
      Liz

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    4. Hi Liz,
      Another great question from you: here’s the short version answer-“it really needs to happen”. From there it gets more complicated if you are asking how often it needs to happen or even whether it needs to happen more than once. Some of that has to do with how credible you make the threat of a repeat and what history you bring to that threat. From what you have written earlier you seem to have no problem “following through”. So if you chose administering a single or only an infrequent few witnessed spanking, that might get the job done. But there can be other factors as well: a wife’s motivation is key. Some woman can get very turned on performing in front of a witness – or she may be mentoring another woman. Both motivations encourage using a witness when the opportunity arises. Lastly there is the husband to consider. If he gets sexually excited being spanked that way, threats of a repeat may not help control his behavior. But most men don’t actually get excited by a spanking, only the fantasy before it actually happens. If its severe enough and embarrassing enough ( and that does include who the witness is), he will not want a repeat and will both try to avoid one and respond well to credible threats that one is on the way. In your particular case, having you Mom as a witness as Dan like to put it :checks all the boxes”
      Alan

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    5. I’ve never been spanked for punishment as an adult, so my answer may not even be relevant. In theory, and trying to be as honest with myself as possible, despite my fetish that glorifies spanking, it could work really well as a deterrent to misbehavior. I might be tempted to want to get into a little trouble just to see how the process plays out in a moderate punishment, but I would want to avoid anything serious. If my wife threatens to have her mother over for any kind of spanking, that escalates the situation into deadly serious emotional territory. So this would be a very effective threat. Now if I was experienced with this kind of relationship and regime, then I might feel different about it. Could it become somewhat normalized? Once mom or other people have witnessed things, then maybe it’s no longer such a big deal? As an adult, it must be easier to process these emotions than when I was much less mature.

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    6. Liz, it's hard for me to know how Art would react without knowing him, but I do think that coupling a spanking with some non-spanking element can make the deterrent more effective. I've talked before about how my wife made me apologize to someone I went off on over a work matter. I think had there been only a spanking involved, I would have quickly gone back to the same old behavior. The apology element, however, absolutely made me think twice the next time my temper started to get the best of me. I suspect the threat of a witness could have the same effect. I wonder, too, whether carrying out the threat is necessary. You could test it by making the threat more time bound. Something like: "If you are arrogant any time in the next month, your next spanking will be in front of my mother."

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    7. That could work and it would be an interesting experiment. But she needs to be absolutely ready to carry the treat through and a month is a long time
      Alan

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    8. Liz,
      You said, "I really don't think there is any sexual motivation to me" about Art. Spanking my husband did get me warmed up when we were first married, but it was more erotic than discipline back then. Today, discipline is a sexual motivation more for my husband, and also a deterrent for bad behavior. I also use it to put him in a submissive mood. I'm beginning to settle into the role of his Dominant wife as the months go on, and he knows I'm motivated to continue. He likes it and my life is certainly easier. While I can't include witnesses now (I don't know about the future but I'm thinking on it), I'm certainly going to humble him in a much different way. This is from something I recently read about. His next discipline session will be in the garage and workshop area, which has been essentially his domain. He's always got some project going. The time he's due for punishment I'm going to give it out there.
      CarolH.

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  20. Before corona virus, when my social circle was gathering regularly in bars, we were pretty open about sex, including our kinks. Some of you may remember that a few months ago I did a survey of friends about spanking. But there was very little disciplinary spanking going on. Most of it is erotic.

    I do talk with my girlfriends about how to deal with the immature behavior of our husbands and boyfriends. I would say that is one of our main topics when we get together. We text about it too. Many of my friends know about why Jimmy and I separated and what we are trying to do to get back together. Several of my girlfriends know that I have started spanking him at his request. I haven't told Jimmy that they know, but I basically talk to them about everything so he should be able to figure it out.

    I have three girlfriends that I could possibly choose as witnesses who already know. One of them is really hot for Jimmy and they had a little fling while we were apart, so I wouldn't choose her. (I wish they hadn't, but I left him and I knew he wasn't going to stay celibate). Of the other two, one didn't have much reaction when I told her, while the other was really enthusiastic and said maybe she should try that with her man. Her name is Jenny, and that is who I would choose. I will ask Jimmy what he thinks about her as a witness, and who he might choose instead. I think he will be mortified and might even refuse to play this game and speculate.
    Belle

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    1. Given how new he is to DD, I wouldn't be at all surprised if mortification was his reaction.

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    2. Dan,
      I agree about the mortification.Actually the woman Jimmy had a "little fling" with might be the most embarrassing to him and teach him an unforgettable lesson. Imagine being spanked in front of an ex-wife or any kind of ex. For a lot of reasons I am not sure it would ever be a good idea to actually do it, but the embarrassment would be off the charts.

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    3. You're right, Belle, spanked in front of an ex- would probably push a lot of buttons with most people.

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  21. Has anyone tried real-time media like Zoom for witnessing? Back in the old days we actually used plain old telephone a few times to share live spanking sessions with another couple. It was kind of cool at the time.

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    1. No, though that's a really interesting thought.

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    2. It was never planned , but I have been over my wife's knee a couple of times when the phone rang , and once she actually stopped to answer ! Thankfully she kept the call brief!

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    3. Tomy could well be spotting a trend with zoom since it is becoming almost pervasive for other communication during the pandemic. But the good old telephone on speaker works too. It reminds me of listening to old time radio dramas where one had to supply lots of imagination to conjure up an image of what was unfolding.
      Alan

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    4. What is also intriguing about it is it opens up the possibility of a witnessed session that still protects anonymity to some extent. It could possibly even allow for anonymous "club" meetings among people who are open to talking to others in the lifestyle but without sharing real identities or contact information. Since Zoom is free for small calls, I assume that a host could set up an account using an anonymous email address, and invite others through email, without any actual sharing of real identities. Very interesting concept . . .

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    5. perfect voyeuristic thrill also for the pesky hacker who also has a spanking fetish. Much better than stomping around in all that expensive shrubbery at all hours.
      Alan

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  22. “Who would you choose to be the witness if, once chosen, there was no getting out of it? Why? How do you think that person would react?”

    This is a pure thought experiment for me because I doubt any disciplinarian is going to give me or any other guy that choice. I have been spanked when it was overheard by one woman (by my former girlfriend) and spanked by my wife in front of her sister. My former girlfriend let me know in advance it “could” happen and my wife told me it “was” going to happen. But neither gave me any opportunity to choose who it was (in fairness my relationship with my wife gives her complete authority to make that sort of decision, so I really have no reason to expect to be consulted about who it is.) But who would I choose if asked? I probably would chose a women who had been or preferably still was in a DD relationship on either side of the paddle. In some ways I think I would prefer someone who themselves was subject to discipline or had been Why? Principally because she would fully understand what was going on and thus it all would be a shared experience rather than a show or exhibition (not saying all witnessed spanking is just a show, but there is an element of voyeurism in it) The other option I might choose would be something like two former commenters described on this blog (Anne & Peter) a while ago in which both wives observed and (I believe) participated in disciplining Peter along with his friend at the same time. That would produce the same shared experience as my first choice plus probably some pretty deep male bonding.
    Alan

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  23. This is Arthur. I'm not much into hypotheticals and I don't see us ever having a witness. I understand all the reasons my wife would choose her mother, but I would absolutely hate that. We are definitely not going there. I think her mother's knowledge of our DD has already affected my relationship with my mother-in-law, and her witnessing it would make it even worse.
    I would rather be witnessed by a perfect stranger, someone we don't know who we would never see again. Pick them off the street. That's ridiculous and would never happen, but that's my answer.
    Sorry I'm not a good game-player when it comes to private behavior.
    Arthur

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  24. Of course you have to make sure the witness feels safe that they won't get a spanking too. It's called a witness protection program.

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    Replies
    1. You can also bribe someone to be a witness...... but that would be ‘witness tampering’.

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    2. .......and if you find someone who wants to watch because they are angry with the intended victim and WANTS to see them spanked goo and hard......that might qualify as a ‘hostile witness’.😂

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    3. All of you belong on the stage -and yep the next one is just about to leave town if you hurry.
      Alan

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    4. ...and those people who may glimpse or overhear a spanking in progress while delivering religious tracts to the door are aptly called...Jehovah's Witnesses.

      Sorry, I couldn't resist. :-)
      Danielle

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    5. Danielle, I'd gladly invite such people to come join in, as long as they were on the receiving end.

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  25. I missed the stage. Hey, humor is worth it's weight in gold there day.

    Acapulco Gold that is.

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  26. Jokes that only a dad could fully appreciate...!

    Interestingly, I told my wife the week’s topic and she immediately rattled off all but 1 of my picks. Her co-worker she wouldn’t have thought of because my wife said she may seem open-minded and fun, but apparently she is ultra-traditional in her mentality.

    Still, I was shocked at how quickly my wife listed off the others.

    -ZM

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