I’ve talked about my "need" for boundaries many times, but when I think this through, “need” has two connotations. First, there is the emotional need that boundaries meet for some of us; the sense of security that for whatever reason some of us lack and that enforced boundaries can help us attain. I'm really not "needing" discipline in that sense right now. When I am operating at this pace, part of me actually gets off on the stress and the crazy level of busyness. The "need" I have for boundaries right now is really external, not internal. If anything, right now I do not want to be spanked at all; the "need" I have at this moment is not an emotional yearning to be controlled.
It is akin to being spanked hard for a bad report card – it’s something done out of caring and is for the recipient’s own good, regardless of whether it seems so to him at the time. In fact, it may be the exact opposite situation of the internally felt need. To continue the "bad grades" metaphor, I may feel perfectly fine in the moment when I am not focusing on what I need to do in order to earn a good report card and, in fact, might prefer to continue with exactly what I am doing. But, that's short-term thinking. Those of us blessed with Disciplinary Wives get the benefit of someone making us think long-term.
Well, enough on that for now, though I've had this nebulous idea of "tough love" as a topic on my mind for a while but haven't been able to come up with anything really concrete to explore about it. I'll keep mulling that and welcome any suggestions.
The subject is “bratting.” I’m not sure I have ever encountered the verb form of “brat” outside the Dominance and Submission and DD contexts (the quote to the right is from a D/s-oriented Tumblr). But, in a nutshell, "bratting" is misbehaving intentionally in order to provoke a response or get attention.
Bratting could take several forms, and could be a single incident or something that goes on for a long time. It could be episodic, as in acting up on a particular occasion in order to provoke a response in that moment. Or, it could be something deeper, as in acting up frequently in order to trigger the other spouse to step up into a more dominant role. In fact, perhaps bratting could even be the impetus for the entire disciplinary relationship. I am a reminded of a comment a few years ago by Holly, which touched on several interesting themes, including "bratting," consent, initiating the DD relationship, and mother/daughter relationships: