"Injustice is relatively easy to
bear; it is justice that hurts." ~H.L. Mencken
Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couples Club. Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, Domestic Discipline or Wife Led relationships.
I hope you all enjoyed last week's discussion. A wide variety of opinions were voiced, though it is interesting how few of them saw "undeserved punishment" as a major problem. Though the reasoning differed. For some, it was not much issue as a practical matter, because they hadn't been subjected to punishments that weren't, in fact, deserved. Others looked at the question more as a matter of balancing the scales, recognizing that even if every once in a while she might make a mistake in exercising her power, there are far more times when we get away with something that merited a good hard session with the paddle, strap or brush. KD emphasized consenting on a spanking-by-spanking basis, thereby negating the possibility of an undeserved spanking. Others saw consent as being to the DD relationship and not to each spanking and saw any resistance as undermining her authority. Interestingly, there was very little concern voiced over the severity of a spanking being out of proportion to the offense.
Other than a good conversation here on the blog, last week was fairly boring. No travel. No significant behavioral problems. This upcoming week could be more "eventful." The "semi-" qualifier on our semi-empty nesting status will be mostly removed for a substantial block of time. Hopefully substantial enough for us to make up the ground we lost over the last few weeks and for her to regain the momentum she was building before her progress was interrupted. I definitely need it. While last week wasn't too bad, my behavior has been pretty out of control the last couple of months, and it's definitely been taking a toll. Workouts have been sporadic. Exercise and meditation are prerequisites to any hope of sleep, and I haven't been doing either with any regularity. Travel always seems to result in poor dietary choices and even more disturbed sleep patterns. It all adds up. As have the tally of offenses meriting a good, hard spanking! Once the kids depart and we have the house back to ourselves, it is time for a serious "personal improvement" effort along the lines of the one ZM's wife has been helping him with.
Having our empty-nester status temporarily revoked did get us to talking about how to preserve momentum next time it happens. Some options included:
- While there may be times a spanking must be delayed, other forms of punishment are available and can be imposed immediately. Grounding, chores, etc. Corner time also is an option, if she sense me to an isolated room with a locked door, such as the bathroom.
- She could send the kids on errand, such as a run to the grocery store to pick up a missing ingredient for the nightly dinner. Then, take care of business quickly but severely while they are out.
- She and I could go off-site ourselves. One somewhat risque possibility I thought of was meeting at my office shortly after working hours, when most of the residents of our office building have left for the day. My office won't accommodate a private spanking, but what about taking care of it in our car in a private corner of our underground parking lot?
- I've also been contemplating a shed-like addition to our existing garage. It could be accessed from the backyard, and would be isolated enough that the kids would be unlikely to hear anything if she took me out there for a quick spanking after they were in bed.
Or perhaps in a garage or barn out of earshot of the rest of the family?
As I was contemplating building our little private "woodshed," it occurred to me that in making it less likely that our kids might overhear a spanking, we might inadvertently make it more likely that our neighbors or someone walking by might overhear one. Perhaps, but maybe it's a risk we should take if we really want to keep things going and progressing.
I hope you all have a great week.
We have used a storage unit, and garage for spankings, but since our nest is "empty" we don't worry much. I've also used the dungeon a few times as well.
ReplyDeleteStorage unit -- interesting. Hadn't thought of that one.
DeleteHi Dan,
ReplyDeleteAs a proportion of life time spankings, outdoor spankings have not happened a lot. But among memorable spankings I have had a few out of doors – maybe a half dozen or so. I actually was spanked in a woodshed/toolshed once, stripped, spanked and had to sneak back into the house after dusk bare ass and very red faced. There have also been a couple along hiking trials. The one I most remember she looked for a huge tree, then pulled down my pants, made me lean into it and blistered my bum with her sorority paddle. There were others and at least one in the back seat of an old SUV parked just off a forest road, a location she picked because the house was full with family. We were not that far off the highway and I don’t even remember much detail about it, so nervous was I about some cop lighting us up. I have come close to being spanked several times at road side rests (one very recently) but talked her into waiting until we checked in for the night. Overall outdoor spanking is pretty exciting at the time but also pretty scary. Nothing has ever happened (discovery) but being outside amped up the adrenaline about ten -fold. Looking back, they have been more fun than real discipline (excepting the one in the back of a car)
Alan
Hi Alan. "There were others and at least one in the back seat of an old SUV parked just off a forest road, a location she picked because the house was full with family." This is the kind of scenario I was hoping to get at with this topic. Not just getting spanked outdoors or in a different location, but a location chosen specifically for purposes of keeping household members or guests from hearing a spanking. Thanks for sharing!
DeleteWe have a bedroom in a corner of our basement that permits spankings that cannot be heard upstairs in any room other than our bedroom (directly overhead). My wife has spanked me there on a number of occasions when we have company upstairs.
DeleteDoug
The back seat of a car or van parked in an isolated section of a shopping plaza, especially at night, works well. A different location like the "woodshed" you were thinking of building is part of the solution, but hand in hand with that is the implement selected for your discipline. A hairbrush, paddle or strap applied to your bare backside makes a lot of noise and attracts attention, even if no one can see you. But a cane would work much better....or a freshly cut switch taken to you just off the trail in a wooded area park or rest stop. Howling in pain of course negates all such precautions!
ReplyDeleteFor whatever reason, she hasn't been able to make very good use of the cane. But, it may be another of those things that didn't work great at one time but that we should give another try. But, my howling is, in fact, the likeliest factor in attracting unwanted attention.
DeleteI've done things in various places for different reasons but currently it is not out of the need for privacy.
ReplyDeleteI used to wish for a private room in the house decked out in true dungeon form, but as I've gotten older, I don't seem to feel the need for it anymore. And as such, I would say to anyone in their 30's or 40's with such a dream or desire: "DO IT!" (before it no longer moves your needle),
That's some wisdom there!
DeleteThe closest we came to that was a small room--sort of a big closet--in our basement, which we used for a few years. But, it became less serviceable over time as the kids started staying up later. It wasn't so much that they might overhear (though that was part of it), as they might seem mom and dad going down to the basement late at night and get . . . inquisitive. Also, it was too small to be really serviceable, and as kids got older and we acquired more . . . stuff . . . storage space was always at a premium.
DeleteDan, I acquired a synthetic cane, which is about 28" long with a moulded soft handle which comes into it's own when there is a need for quietness. The cane was a slow starter in that it took her some time to get the aiming. timing and force just right but I can assure you from very recent experience that it can quietly make a very 'good' impression when used lying over the bed with pillows to raise the target. She has used it to great effect when there has been other people in the house and when we are travelling. Unlike the strap there is no numbness that sets in after a couple of minutes so it hurts from start to finish and the main noise is me.
ReplyDeleteThe most unusual situation that I have been punished in was in a hotel, on holiday. I was having a mood and she took me back up to our room and arranged me in a position where I could just about see (and certainly hear) the fun people were having in the beautiful pool as my cheeks were being whipped. The contrast between my situation and the other holidaymakers was so stark that it left a lasting memory on both of us which she often still refers to... particularly when I seem ungrateful for something. TB
I do need to push my wife to give the cane another chance. It is just such an iconic instrument, I feel like we are missing something by not using it.
DeleteThe other advantage of the cane (besides the noise level) that ties in with the theme of a correction that is needed when family or guests are in close proximity, is the relative speed of such a discipline session. When the woman of the house becomes proficient in the application of the cane, it will take only a minute in an isolated bedroom or shed to deliver 6 to 10 very effective and painful strokes to a husband's backside and get him quickly back into line.
DeleteGood point.
DeleteI'll have to join with the people advocating for the cane. I happen to hate the cane; it's a nasty vivacious implement. But alas, it is practically silent and was the impalement Aunt Kay always used if there were other people in the house.
ReplyDeleteTomy,
DeletePlease be so kind as to relate your favorite story of hiding a punishment by being caned with others in the house! Thanks in advance!
Helen
Oh my. Helen, I just noticed this request.. Hopefully you will find it.
DeleteWe had several people over and there were several kids running around. I believe I contradicted something she felt strongly about and it both angered and embarrassed her.
Even though she comfortably employed the DWC lifestyle, her core nature was easy-going. So when she physically herded me into the garage a few minutes later I was really a bit confused. I thought she must want to tell me something.
She had slipped one of the DWC plastic canes inside her pants leg and produced it once we were in the little room garage.
She was mad that time and kind of shoved me quickly into position and man it "rained". She was striking at a very quick pace and I was biting down on some rubber.
I suppose it was over pretty quickly(it didn't feel that way at all). She left me there and rejoined the party. I returned somewhat later.
Dan
ReplyDeleteWe are fortunate as the home we bought last year has a soundproof room off our bedroom. The previous owner was a musician. It isnt huge but serves the purpose . Since the only entrance to the room is through our room it is secure.
Before we moved one area that worked for us for a quick swat or two was to turn on the shower in our bathroom. If Peter moaned or let out sounds which he did, we passed it off as dad thinking he was singing.
One last thing I use the cane often . More than any other instrument it seems to get the message across
quickly .
Anna
Its my impression that many women prefer to use a cane or maybe a strap even though they may actually employ a brush or paddle regularly because that is what works for their boyfriend or husband. Erotically the cane does very little for me but my wife loves the sound it makes and the impact. I also experience punishment with the cane differently than with other instruments. There is much less of the "naughty boy" feeling and more the disobedient or misbehaving husband feeling to it. This is a little mushy but nonetheless real It would be interesting to do a poll sometime to see if these gender differences are widespread. The Brits get the credit for popularizing the cane and proficiency with it. That is probably deserved but I suspect many North American women have discovered its charms
DeleteAlan
DAN
DeleteI only use the cane for true punishment. Any disobedient or purposely misbehaving, gets the cane.
For my naughty boy I prefer the brush with hm over my knee. Of course any arousal over my knee might lead to longer session. Finally, not sure I have mentioned it, but arousal during discipline means stopping, immediate milking and back over the knee and more and harsher session.
anna
Alan: Interesting that the cane does not give you the same "naughty boy" feeling. I wonder if the Brits do get that sense from it, given it's iconic tie to school discipline?
DeleteAnna: I am tempted to ask one of you disciplinary wives to demonstrate the case for my wife, since to date it has been one of our least effective tools. Regarding milking, I am very glad my wife does not have that rule, since I am almost always aroused at the beginning of a spanking. But, never at its end.
DeleteI think the cane is one of the most difficult implements to try to master. It is so easy to hit too high or too low or to wrap around to the thigh.
DeleteIt also is really for just a few strokes. The British used to give "six of the best." When I am punishing Andy I need to give much more than that.
So I can't give you much of a case for the cane, Dan. I guess if a disciplinary wife had practiced with it and only wanted to give a few strokes, it is especially effective.
Agreed on all those cane limitations. In addition, in our experimentation, it just didn't hurt very much. Almost certainly user error of some sort, but I have no idea what was wrong.
DeleteI am no cane Mistress but I do know that an attempt at accuracy can reduce force. For instance, if you keep your wrist stiff (like a tennis player) then it is easier to land where you are aiming ... but there is no snap to the stroke. On the rare occasions when I cane, I tuck my elbow against my side and then snap my wrist when I swing. That allows for sufficient force and a modicum of accuracy.
DeleteHelen, you are right when starting out to tuck your elbow and snap the wrist on the stroke to achieve medium force with good accuracy. However, one quick suggestion I would make is to measure your stroke first, with the tip of the cane just at the midpoint of the right buttock (assuming you are caning right-handed). You will then be able to allow a fuller swing (elbow untucked) with more velocity (and pain), the cane will not wrap, but you will find his behind striped completely.
DeleteRegarding the cane my wife knows I hate the lexan cane.
DeleteIt actually can deliver the pain of a "real" cane with less threat of damage...speaking from experience she can wail with it more like a switch with less accuracy without damage. Also she does not seem to care if she misses low.
I've never been at the receiving end of a full caning, the so called traditional 'six of the best'. My uncle who attended boarding school did recount the tale when I was very young of how he had to pay for being caught playing cards with such a punishment in his pyjamas at school assembly. He must have been late fifties when he told that story and he still vividly described it as one of the most painful experiences in his life.
DeleteThe short synthetic cane my wife uses delivers individually painful strokes but they are bearable. It is because she uses it more like a strap over several minutes that causes an intense build up which becomes almost unbearable and tear inducing. She will then switch to the strap which believe it or not is (almost) a relief.
We have discussed her using a traditional cane as I like the 'short, sharp, shock' possibility but she says that she is concerned about her aim and more importantly. prefers the longer duration of our 'normal' sessions. I can see her point!
Back to the main point of this weeks topic we have had an 'empty nest' for several years but that has now changed (temporarily I hope). This has led to a distinct down tick in the frequency and immediacy of discipline and a consequent change in our relationship. My more assertive qualities have come to the fore and my behaviour is definitely more challenging. Discipline sessions now need to be planned, I need to be more cooperative and I do find myself creating excuses to avoid. When they happen they are much longer but strangely less satisfying for both parties. I personally think that spontaneity and acting on the moment are much more important than perhaps I realised. Plus previously she would often warn me openly that I was getting close to stepping over the boundary and what would happen if I chose not to modify my behaviour. With other people in the house she feels more inhibited.
The whole 'woodshed' thing is interesting as I do have a mostly soundproofed study in the garden although as this is 'my' space I am not sure how I feel about it becoming the place of discipline... TB
The DWC had a detailed booklet on how to use a cane complete with a video. The video may still be online. maybe on the DWC site. I don't know for sure though
DeleteTB,
DeleteIt sounds like your need for immediacy of consequences is as important to you as it is to my Andy. Isn't a negative change in your relationship much more important than preserving your man cave? Personally, I would march you right out there and take care of business whether you liked it or not!
Hi Dan,
ReplyDeleteFor us, lack of privacy is certainly the biggest hindrance to DD and it makes consistency almost impossible. We will not be empty nesters for several years still, and as you have pointed out, even then it is more of a process than an event. This summer has been even more challenging since we have had college kids home, so times that we have the house alone are rare.
Perhaps the biggest problem flowing from this is that since we get so little time alone, neither of us are quick to want to drag out the punishment tools when we do actually get a bit of time together. I can only imagine how much better everything would work if everything could be spontaneous and not have to be so planned, which can make it feel contrived.
We have had similar ideas as you for getting around the privacy issue, with mixed results. Unfortunately, I don't have any specific locations that we have discovered, so can't add anything very unique to this discussion.
Silent punishments are possible, though of course they are very limited. Some that we have tried are capsaicin cream and nettles. Capsaicin is not that effective by itself but if it is applied to an already burning bottom, it can create quite a fire. Nettles are very painful, but the effect is completely gone after several hours, so depending on what someone is looking for, they can be a good choice.
Recently we discovered the powerful role of humiliation in punishment, so there is a lot of fertile ground to explore there, since many of the more humiliating things also happen to be pretty quiet.
I had never thought of using a vehicle, but probably both that and anything outdoors are mostly out of the question because of where we live. Otherwise, about the only other time we are “off-site” is for the occasional weekend alone, when we are more likely to either do something more like role play or just be romantic.
We too have thought of sending whoever is in the house to the store to buy something, which would ensure at least several minutes of privacy as well. The punishment would have to be a lot like being sent to the principal's office, so just a few very, very hard swats with a wooden paddle or something. However, I think two reasons school punishment was pretty effective was because the swats were hard enough to leave good bruises (to extend the effective punishment to every time the spankee sits down the next few days) and because of the inherent embarrassment, since almost everyone in the school knew when someone was sent to the principal's office and if they received swats. Obviously in our home setting there won't be anywhere near that same embarrassment, and I don't know if she could actually leave significant bruises with any of our paddles with a limited number of swats.
What would probably work well for us, though we haven't done it, is combining the silent punishments with the “sending the child to the store” idea. For this, she would probably have me standing in the corner or whatever, then after some time, she would send our child to the store, during which time she would punish me hard and fast, and then perhaps I would be back in the corner with capsaicin cream on my now punished bottom. She could probably make this super effective.
BTW, just to chime in with what others are saying, ever since we got a lexan and a delrin cane and she has become comfortable using them, I have found them to be excruciatingly painful. They are also very quiet, but still not quiet enough to ensure nobody hears us in our small house with poor noise isolation (nor am I necessarily quiet enough)!
-ZM
Hi ZM. We have experienced all these same problems, and it really does put big hurdles in our forward progress on the DD and FLR front. Seems as soon as we get some momentum, here comes school vacation time and a complete absence of privacy. And, that is in addition to my frequent work absences. I'm really starting to think that real, substantial, sustained progress is not going to happen until they are out of college and/or I am retired.
DeleteCan I ask where you got your lexan and delrin canes? Feel free to respond by email if you don't want to post it here.
Hi Dan,
DeleteBoth are from Cane-iac and are excellent quality (and quite inexpensive), as is all their things that I have tried. Both are 30" long and 3/8" diameter. For Lexan, I think this is about the right size, but I kind of feel like the white Delrin is a bit heavy at 3/8". If I get the opportunity to order again, I will try the Master's choice JR cane, as I think at 5/16" it might be a little more of a fiery sting and less pure thud.
Anyway, I assure you that if she swings them hard, there is no chance that you will say they are not painful enough!
-ZM
Dan, anyone who has been on the receiving end of a caning from a wife who is practiced in the art (and it is an art) and really means business will tell you that it is an excruciating experience. There is no rule that limits the punishment to six strokes. Anything is possible. The only limiting factor being whether the skin can hold out. An experienced and attentive wife will get a feel for that over time. This is the one that has striped my own bottom over the years. It is from Quality Control in the UK. It is literally eye-watering.
Deletehttp://www.quality-control.co.uk/products/canes/dragoncanes/juniordragoncanes/title.html
I am suspect that the best canes are made in the UK. As others have said, we have something of a 'thing' for the cane here. I think if Mrs Dan really got the hang of it, you may find that you have met your match.
Thanks, Tommy. I ordered a small assortment. Will keep people posted on whether we have any better success this time.
DeleteHi ZM. I ordered one of them. Will keep you posted.
DeleteI built an "office" in our basement that is nearly sound proof (I can share plans if needed). If a movie is going on in the main floor you hear nothing. If on the second story no sound at all. Works out great with 3...soon to be 4 kids walking around. We usually wait till the kids are in bed but have when the situation called for it used it while Walt Disney occupied the kids.
ReplyDeleteBefore that we used our garage which was attached but had 2 outside doors between that and the kichen...that was sound proof for the washer and dryer...but served well.
Thanks. It sounds like your kids are relatively young? For us, the impediments became much higher once they got older and started staying up later.
DeleteThe oldest is 9. But all thier rooms are on the second floor so even if awake cannot hear anything. We have been discussing if they ever find out what we would say. We won't lie but also need respecting of privacy.
DeleteWe are very careful to not impose our disciplinary lifestyle on others. In addition, over 30 years there have been very few times when I felt the need to punish Andy when there were relatives in the house other than our young daughter.
ReplyDeleteBut there was one time I remember well. It was Thanksgiving and we were hosting a whole bunch of relatives. The men in the extended family had a tradition of playing touch football on the holiday. It had rained in the morning, so I didn't think the game was going to happen, and Andy was already dressed for dinner with a brand new shirt that I had bought him for the occasion. But the boys, being boys, went out and played touch football in their dinner clothes. And Andy ripped his shirt.
I was furious. He had to change his shirt, so he headed upstairs and I marched up there right after him. We had been using switches in order to keep spankings quiet from our daughter, and there were a couple left over from the previous session. He had his shirt off and was getting ready to change. I pushed his hands down on the bed, yanked down his pants and Underpants, and went to town on his behind. And I told him he better keep quiet too.
I must have switched him 100 times in about a minute, enough for him to have bright red weals all over his behind and upper thighs. For once I did not care about the wraparound effect. He made some noise but did not cry out. The switch fell apart; I threw it down and marched back downstairs, leaving him to collect himself. His face was red and teary, as the switch burns like a hot wire. But he was on time for dinner, well aware what would have happened later if he was late.
Nobody was the wiser as far as either of us could tell, though he was rather wiggly at dinner. He later apologized and never played touch football in his dinner clothes again.
Thanks, Helen. I bet he was shocked when you followed him up there and yanked down his pants!
DeleteI think when he heard me coming up the stairs behind him that he knew he was in for it. I have been known to take him by the ear and jerk him over my knee and shuck those pants down!
DeleteAmazing. We had an episode at Thanksgiving too. I won't go into the details, except to say it was a cane and she too was quite vigorous.
ReplyDeleteThanksgivings. Huh. I guess it's like any other day when we eventually say "thanks for giving it to us".
:-)
DeleteDan, As usual, you hit on an important and relevant topic. You said:
ReplyDelete“While there may be times a spanking must be delayed, other forms of punishment are available and can be imposed immediately - - “ and offered 4 solutions, all of which were good. However, I am just too traditional to deviate from the time honored bare bottom spanking, preferably OTK with a wooden paddle (the “gold standard” of domestic discipline IMHO), so there is no real substitute for this rather loud implement when is comes to spanking. However, there is a non-hitting, but still corporal punishment approach that is available.
I want to “inject” a disciplinary technique that I have associated with spanking since childhood and confirmed that connection when I starting reading “Letters to the Editor” in Mr Magazine, Sir, Penthouse, etc., as a teenager. You have now provided the perfect “opening” (I am channeling a very corny Austin Powers impression).
But I have rarely (if ever) read about this method of punishment in this Blog (there is no search function, so I am relying on memory). I am talking about the first cousin of the good old fashioned spanking, which is the good old fashioned enema. Especially, the hot, soapy, 2 quart enema bag with the larger douche nozzle attached that is administered by a fully clothed female to a completely naked male who is over her knee (a very humbling experience).
No, an enema is not as painful as a spanking (and it shouldn’t be, but it can be quite uncomfortable).
And an enema can be every bit as embarrassing as a spanking, if not more so.
An enema is not nearly as good as a spanking for correcting specific misbehavior, but it can be quite the antidote to male ego, pride, stubbornness, grumpiness and other “attitude” issues.
The enema also provides a medicinal value - it can be used for both constipation and diarrhea as well as the prep required for any sort of bowel test (colonoscopy, etc).
Because it has a medicinal value, a wife can more easily explain to her friend (witness) that she “has to give her husband an enema” as opposed to a spanking (i.e. - it is easily to explain in “polite company”).
With regards to spankings and enemas:
Both are very “bottom centric” activities.
Both involve the woman assuming the power and the man assuming the position.
Both place the woman in complete control of her man.
So Girls, grab and fill your bag, lubricate the nozzle and insert it where it will do the most good.
Carl H
I have been debating telling the story of when I was spanking Andy for speeding in the back seat of our car along the highway when a police officer pulled up behind. Andy's most humiliating punishment! But since it doesn't fit the topic of an alternate spanking location to escape detection, I will save it for another time.
ReplyDeleteHelen
Go right ahead. I had originally conceived this topic as about being spanked in cars, but ended up expanding it.
DeleteWhen Andy and I were first married, the national speed limit was still 55. Andy thought it was a ridiculous law, even though it had been around as long as he had been driving. So he disobeyed it. And not by the standard of less than 10 miles per hour. He would regularly go 70 or even higher. Being a disciplinary wife, I believe in rules and Law and order, and I did not think it was right that he was speeding so much. And he didn't just speed. He would tailgate people, he would pass them when I didn't think it was safe, etcetera. This was one of the main sources of argument in our young marriage and even younger disciplinary wife relationship. He contended that driving was under his purview as the protector of the family. I agreed to some extent, but also argued that if he was being unsafe then he was abdicating his area of responsibility and thus giving it to me. So our arguments were about whether his driving was safe or not. And there were times when it clearly was not. But he argued that he should only be spanked if he actually got caught and got a traffic ticket. I argued that speeding is speeding, even if you get away with it. We eventually came to a compromise. If he hit 75 miles per hour, which was 20 miles per hour over the speed limit, then he got punished. Or if he tailgated or passed in an unsafe manner. And because I was not being unreasonable, he agreed to let me decide when he was driving unsafely. We believe then, as we do now, that immediate consequences are necessary to truly modify behavior. So that meant pulling over to the side of the road and spanking him. We would climb in the backseat, but because his legs are so long we would have to leave the door open on the passenger side with his feet hanging out. Then he would crawl over my lap, I would pull down his pants and spank his bare bottom with my hairbrush. You would think this would modify his behavior quickly, but it did not.
ReplyDeleteContinuing the story... So we were on the highway in medium traffic one evening and he was going 80 miles an hour. I ordered him to pull over. He found a safe shoulder on a straightaway and pulled to the side of the road. I pulled my hairbrush out of my purse, and we got in the backseat. He unbuckled his belt and crawled across my lap. I eased his pants down, which was not always that easy to do because back then he always had a raging erection at the start of a spanking. But I got them down and then his underwear, and begin spanking him. I had been spanking for about 2 minutes when we noticed the police lights reflected in our rear-view mirror. We didn't know what to do. We did know that you're not supposed to make a lot of sudden movements or the police may think that you are going for a weapon. I told him to lie still and I pulled up his underwear so that his bottom was covered. I still had the hairbrush in my hand. We waited for the police officer to come up alongside, and I rolled down the back seat window. The police officer looked in the backseat with a quizzical expression. I said, I am punishing my husband for speeding. And I made a gesture with the hairbrush. Andy had his face buried in his arms. The police officer hesitated for a moment, looking over the scene. Then he said to Andy, are you okay sir? And he mumbled yes. And you agree to this? The police officer asked. Yes, Andy mumbled. Then the police officer looked at me. He said, well it's probably more effective than a ticket! I grinned he laughed, and went back to his vehicle. He waited in his car while Andy pulled up his pants and we both got out of the back seat and drove away with a great sense of relief.
DeleteWow! I can't imagine the embarrassment.
DeleteIn Andy's defense, during the time when that speed limit prevailed, I was too was firmly in the Sammy Hagar camp of "I can't drive . . . 55." Of course, I don't really care much for 65 either.
I know a cop, and he had pulled a couple over who were in their sixties roughly. The husband was driving a little over 70 mph. This cop sat in his patrol car, and watched the wife obviously b*tching this guy out for about three minutes before he left his cop car to walk up to their vehicle window.
DeleteThe cop said he went back to his cop car, called in, and checked out the guy's licence, registration, and insurance, then went back to this couple's vehicle, and handed the guy his papers back to him. The guy who had been speeding said "what...you're not giving me a ticket?" This cop I know just said "No, judging by your wife's reaction to being pulled over, I think you've already paid enough". Then he let them go.
That is a great story and brings up for me an interesting question. I have been spanked in the presence of two women witnesses ( one only overheard but next room.) Both of these experiences really cemented my feeling that she was REALLY in control, somehow being spanked in front of someone I know well made it all both more real and the control deeper. But I wonder if the spankings had been in front of strangers or even other spanko's if the impact would have been so strong. From reading online I gather more than a few couples manage to spank where a stranger or someone they will never see again. This might be fun but I doubt it would reinforce her authority the way being spanked in front of my girlfriends best friend or sister in law did for me. On the other hand the humiliation level probably hits the ceiling in a situation like Helen describes. But having day to day contact with another women who knows you are spanked does something to your head,and somehow makes it all even more real
ReplyDeleteAlan
It's hard for me to say, Alan. I've never been spanked in the presence or within earshot of any third-party, so I'm not sure how the impact would differ as between friends/relatives and a stranger. The closest I can come to that scenario is there are two women who know both my DD lifestyle and my real identity (one friend who I told about it, and another where it was the reverse -- she knew "me" from this DD blogging world and we became friends), and talking to them does take on a certain "edge" just from the fact they know about this kink.
DeleteAlan,
DeleteThe police officer incident had a profound impact on Andy, as he readily admits. The next time he was speeding and I ordered him to pull over, he begged me to wait until we were home to spank him because he was afraid of another police officer stopping. I refused, and spanked him on the side of the road. He was very nervous throughout. And that was the last time that I had to make him pull over and spank him for speeding. Yes, he slowed down!
So that incident with a stranger had a very profound effect. We do not have any friends or relatives who have ever witnessed a spanking, so I don't know whether that would be even more impactful.
Hi Helen,
DeleteI have no doubt the second spanking exposed as he was had a lasting effect on him. My single experience being spanked in the back seat of a car was not for a driving offense but I still remember the embarrassment from it and the fear of being discovered. That kind of spanking is very effective if a bit dangerous. Anyone who thinks spanking can't change adult behavior hasn't experienced the combination of focused discipline consistently administered and reinforced with escalating severity. You have really accomplished outstanding results with Andy apparently while still having fun with it. You are really a role model for other disciplinary wives and girlfriends trying to figure it out.
Alan
Hi Dan,
Delete"Knowing" that someone "knows" is I think the dynamic that creates that "edge" making it all ( for me) more real. Being spanked in front of a witness who you know or regularly interact with seems the equivalent of announcing to the world that you are a disciplined hubby. That takes it out of the private realm between the two of you toward the more public declaration that this is who I am. I am not wholesale advocating witnessed spanking because it can backfire badly ( and also to be candid for me all the eroticism is taken out of them)But I am saying they add a dimension to DD that is very powerful
Alan
Hi Alan. It may, in fact, be "announcing to the world" in a literal sense. You know the saying, "Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead." I've always wondered whether the friend I told then told her husband. It's certainly possible.
DeleteHelen,
DeleteI replied to your request to describe an event when others were in the house further back on this string.
T.
Various issues covered here and in the comments, so apologies for the themes in this post being disparate.
ReplyDeletePrivacy is not an issue for us at present. Our children are too young to understand, but we are thinking of how we might tell them if we decide to do so when they are older.
Regarding getting set up for spanking at a young age, this is what my wife and I did and we don't regret it one bit!
Regarding genders and implements, I'm not aware of a gender difference with us. We both tend to like the paddle and strap in particular.
In the case of arousal during spanking, my wife tends to continue regardless. I tend to be aroused at the start and even more aroused at the end of the evening, with the pain inflicted likely being a cause, as well as knowing that sex comes next, with whatever is on my wife's mind having been addressed in full.
In terms of protecting the lower back, we find the easiest way to accomplish this is for me to bend over the bed while my wife strikes sideways.
My lower back was the biggest interference in our DWC lifestyle. Aunt Kay was a very practical person and if I had recently recovered from a back issue she was reluctant to risk my re-injuring it. When my back was out everything in our lives got more complicated and she determined that it wasn't worth it.
ReplyDeleteI appreciated her forbearance. But I felt ashamed about it. There were even times when we had a few DWC couples visiting which normally involved all the guys getting spanked. And I had to sit it out and be a passive participant.
While no one doubted Aunt Kay's sincerity, some suspected I was faking things; and they didn't hesitate to say so. This was yet another source of embarrassment and truth be told disappointment at missing out on the action.
I have said before I am not a high-tolerance person. As a result, I twist and wiggle and all that does a lot of torquing of the back. Her solution was to put me over a pillow pile on the bed which seemed to work best at minimizing bad back consequences. Still there were times when she felt OTK was necessary and took the risk.
I too have had major back problems, and anyone who has would understand why a bad spanking on anything that connects to your lower back would be torture.
DeleteMine is in that condition right now. So I have to use my keyboard from a standing position. Ironically my little white bottom is unblemished and I still have to work standing up.
Delete