Hi all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couples Club. Our weekly
gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, Domestic
Discipline or Wife Led relationships.
I hope you all enjoyed last week's discussion. Helen's recounting of car spanking interrupted was a good illustration of one of the points I was mulling with that post, namely whether an effort to keep friends for family members from knowing about our DD activities might inadvertently expose them to being discovered by someone else, such as a neighbor or, in Helen and Andy's case, a remarkably forgiving police officer. (Though as someone whose biggest pet peeve in life is slow drivers in the left-hand lane, I sympathize with Andy.)
The discussion then diverged to the merits of the cane. It's interesting how much people are into that particular instrument, or at least curious about it. I have a post from 2014 entitled Caning Tips and Methods, which is always among the top 4 or 5 in all-time popularity. Ironic, given the problems my wife has had using it effectively. I'm pretty sure it is among her top two least favorite instruments. It's interesting the extent to which different instruments evoke different emotional responses. Alan noted: "Its my impression that many women prefer to use a cane or maybe a strap even though they may actually employ a brush or paddle regularly because that is what works for their boyfriend or husband. Erotically the cane does very little for me but my wife loves the sound it makes and the impact. I also experience punishment with the cane differently than with other instruments. There is much less of the "naughty boy" feeling and more the disobedient or misbehaving husband feeling to it."
Does it work that way for you? Do particular instruments evoke particular emotional responses, positive or negative? And, are there some you wish were used more and others less?
While I am not a Brit and, as I said I've never been subjected to an effective caning, there is something about the cane that really does get a response from me. The whole caned schoolboy thing is such an iconic spanking image.
Same with the belt. Probably because of some early childhood experiences, the belt evokes a feeling of vulnerability and has a very "parental" vibe. Until recently, I didn't consider it to be a very effective instrument. Then I bought a "gun belt," which is basically a leather belt made for sportsmen or others to carry a holstered handgun. Because of the weight they need to support, the leather is very thick and stiff. I bought it because I was looking for an instrument we could take with us on trips without giving the TSA guys a thrill. She has used it on me one time, and it definitely gets the job done.
I own several paddles, but over time I've become a lot less enamored of them. As I've written about a few times, lately I feel the larger, thuddier paddles are almost "too hard." The pain hits like a lightning bolt and, instead of giving in to the discipline, the paddle puts me in a very resistant head space. I also wonder whether my butt has just gotten more sensitive over time, as I swear the spankings just hurt way more now than they did a few years ago. Though, she may just be a much less forgiving spanker now than in the past. While I don't really love paddles anymore, I probably will keep buying them, as I have a thing for craftsmanship and I still admire the look of a finely crafted paddle made from some exotic, highly grained wood.
For pure effectiveness, I have to go with the leather strap, though it doesn't really give rise to strong emotions for me.
To me, the strap has just the right balance of short and long-term severity. Depending on how strong she swings, there can be some warm up that gets me in the right, compliant mindset, but then she can really let loose with a very, very painful thrashing. As I've become more convinced that duration is more effective than pure pain from each swat, the strap has emerged as my personal "favorite" for a truly effective overall punishment.
Now, based on what she uses the most, I think my wife likes the strap but really gravitates toward paddles. I've never asked her whether there is a particular instrument that evokes a strong emotional response.
Interestingly, one instrument that I think is extremely effective is one she doesn't seem to go to very often, namely the bath brush.
For severity, it is far, far better than any hair brush and rivals many of our paddles. It also seems to be hard to beat for sheer versatility. It can be used effectively in any position, including OTK, which isn't really true of a strap or belt or of many paddles. Also, unlike most really effective instruments, it can be left out in plain sight. Yet, for whatever reason, she doesn't seem to think of it as a "go to" spanking instrument.
How about you? What instruments get a strong emotional response out of you or your spouse or, perhaps, bring back strong memories of spankings past?
Have a great week.
The discussion then diverged to the merits of the cane. It's interesting how much people are into that particular instrument, or at least curious about it. I have a post from 2014 entitled Caning Tips and Methods, which is always among the top 4 or 5 in all-time popularity. Ironic, given the problems my wife has had using it effectively. I'm pretty sure it is among her top two least favorite instruments. It's interesting the extent to which different instruments evoke different emotional responses. Alan noted: "Its my impression that many women prefer to use a cane or maybe a strap even though they may actually employ a brush or paddle regularly because that is what works for their boyfriend or husband. Erotically the cane does very little for me but my wife loves the sound it makes and the impact. I also experience punishment with the cane differently than with other instruments. There is much less of the "naughty boy" feeling and more the disobedient or misbehaving husband feeling to it."
Does it work that way for you? Do particular instruments evoke particular emotional responses, positive or negative? And, are there some you wish were used more and others less?
For pure effectiveness, I have to go with the leather strap, though it doesn't really give rise to strong emotions for me.
Interestingly, one instrument that I think is extremely effective is one she doesn't seem to go to very often, namely the bath brush.
How about you? What instruments get a strong emotional response out of you or your spouse or, perhaps, bring back strong memories of spankings past?
Have a great week.
I find it interesting that this subjunctive tends to get so many differant reactions. With the range of implements available it is no wonder.
ReplyDeleteI will start by saying there is a certain size, shape, and color of a wood paddle that is a NEVER. I went through a phase in my youth that one was used and crossed a line...it is a never.
Outside that though it needs to be enough of an implement I feel it. I don't like wimpy light weight hair brushes...if we are doing this let's do it right!
Now that I have more experience under my butt some generate responses because I know it reflects how severe my wife considered the infraction. She also is developing how to use a "combination". I know if the lexan paddle, lexan cane, wood Spencer lime paddle, and our olive spoon are out then it is serious. She uses the lexan paddle initially to sting the daylights out of rear and get it tender on the surface. Then the lexan cane to just make me want it over...I hate it. But she follows that with the wood paddle to make sure it goes deep. She then pinpoints "soft spots" with the olive wood spoon to make sure I get a couple marks and finish intensely. When those four are out I know I am in for it. I had one time she went back around the horn with them...it was the worse she ever gave.
I agree on the bath brush, we have the equivalent we call the "oar", stings and goes deep. She does not use it as much because she has less confidence in her ability with it and is afraid it is big and hard enough to actually harm me.
Overall it is an emotional and physical with one psycological exception for me.
A wood spoon is another implement we have not tried to date.
DeleteSpoons can be pretty impressive and these days you can find beautiful exotic wood ones at gourmet cooking stores. There's an awesome video out there of a tall woman spanking the living daylights out of a man over her lap. She's very good at it.
DeleteMy bride employs several wooden spatulas for our 'stand-up' kitchen spankings. They definitely pack more sting than her hairbrushes, as well as providing a powerful 'in full view' reminder of our sessions, including our very first ones!
DeleteCrimsonKing
I'm not sure I've seen a wooden spatula before. So many pervertables, so little time.
DeleteHello, Dan! Until today, I have been one of those many “lurkers” who has enjoyed following your blog, without the risk of engagement. I have thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated your authenticity, articulateness, dedication and creativity in consistently providing this invaluable forum to our domestic discipline community! I have sometimes feared that to engage would be to possibly (even inadvertently) “out” myself, thus bringing embarrassment to my social and professional life, and for my wife, of course. Your topic this week, however, inspires me to finally “take the plunge”, and become a participant in this insightful and inspiring conversation which you have made possible by your own vulnerable sharing of your own experience in such a lifestyle which is so life-giving for so many of us! I am one of those lucky husbands, with a wife who truly understands this deepseated need which I share with so many others. In fact, I believe that she finds the dynamic to be as compelling as I do. For this, I am very grateful! She and I discussed the possibility of my posting here, and she may even be inspired herself to join the dialogue from time to time.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything you have said here. We, too, have amassed quite an “arsenal” of disciplinary implements - some online (mostly from the good folks at Cane-iac!), as well as antique stores and yard/estate sales, as well Bed, Bath and Beyond!
I, too, have a healthy appreciation for finely-crafted paddles, but also join you in your opinion that they sometimes “get the job done” almost too quickly, and therefore do not allow for a longer session which might afford yet more time for the “truth” to set in - i.e., time for reflecting on the wrongdoing being addressed. Nevertheless, I would never wish for their use to be entirely avoided or curtailed (or that of ANY other implements, for that matter)! They all serve their purposes from time to time! We haven’t used corner time very much, but I have found it helpful as a way of extending the time of reflection, submission and humiliation.
I do have the same fascination for belts and straps, as they are sometimes “bearable” enough to allow for much longer sessions. My wife finds that they can “snap back” on her, so I would be especially interested in knowing more about where to obtain the kind of belt that you mentioned. Early on, we even purchased online a razor strap (or “strop”?), but I don’t think she found it to be all that comfortable to wield, despite its almost “iconic” reputation as a serious disciplinary implement.
As for canes, I’d be very interested in knowing if you find the ones from the U.K. to be more satisfactory for you and your wife to use. We’ve used various ones (purchased domestically) of different materials to some success.
Regardless of any of my preferences, the most important thing to me is that my wife “enjoys” what she uses, and gets the results that she desires. I am always grateful for the expertise which she brings, and hope that I never, even inadvertently, “top from the bottom”! I am more than happy for her to make a final determination of where, when, how, and how long to discipline and, in some cases, punish me.
Thank you again for providing what I feel is the best such online forum! Your candor and insights are deeply appreciated, as well as those of the many who regularly post! I will try to remain faithfully engaged, having finally “broken the ice”, LOL!
Hi Mickey. Thanks for joining in, and welcome. I hope your wife will decide to join in the fun. I don't think my wife has experienced the "snap back" problem with belts or a strap, but one implement I know is prone to that defect is the Loopy Johnny. She has always liked it and its effect on me (the sting is really, really bad), but it does have a tendency to fly back and hit her hand.
DeleteLike many here Dev has a wide variety of implements she’s used over the years. She doesn’t care for belts or straps but has used a wooden spoon. We’ve talked about a cane but have not purchased one. Her go to’s would be the Spenser paddle and hairbrush. To your point I agree that leaving a brush out would never spark anyone’s curiosity. Seeing her sitting on the couch brushing her hair gives me instant butterflies. Since she’s been following this blog , a while back she started carrying a brush in her purse for when we go out. If she brings it out in public and starts brushing her hair that means there will be a discussion when we get home. Again, no one ever knows. JR
ReplyDeleteThanks, JR. Nice innocuous signal.
DeleteI'm glad your wife is following the blog. Welcome, Mrs. JR.
Andy pointed out to me that when we are out in public and he is starting to misbehave that I will unknowingly start brushing my hair ... which he took as a warning sign but I was doing subconsciously! Fascinating! I agree that it is a great innocuous signal!
DeleteI really love these kind of subtle hints in public – my wife does them as well, verbally, saying subtle things, such as, “We’ll discuss this later.” Part of me wants to be more obvious about this, but I am also terrified about it. All in all though, it makes for a wonderful dynamic.
ReplyDeletePresently Mrs GL only uses an implement on request (I get 2 guarenteed extras a year, birthday and anniversary of when we met and occasional "emergency stress relief" in addition to the fortnightly and "deserved") and those tend to be on the milder end of the spectrum. However I now have sufficient experience from my broadly 6 monthly sessions with UK disciplinarians (4 so far) and thus my choices are grounded in those visits. I am not fond of paddles, wood, leather or latex. Am ok with straps and belts but fonder of a tawse. Spoons ok as are rulers. Canes I like the thinker swishier type. Favourate impliement is a wooden hairbrush, preferably old/retro followed by plimsolls/slippers. However all pale behind a knowlwdgeable female palm applied skillfully.
ReplyDeleteOn the question of subtle hints out Mrs GL prefers a method which tells me to stop instantly, its a mild slap on the arm with a girlie "stop it", although if no-one else is in sight that becomes a swat. Cheers GLM
Apols, "thicker" should read "thinner".
ReplyDeleteI definitely will speak to preferred implements, but first I must speak of position, which of course is a significant determining factor in implements. I almost exclusively spank over the knee (or lap, more accurately, though sometimes it is a single knee). I think we do this for two reasons: It is more maternal, and it is more intimate. In our relationship I am quite maternal during discipline: I spank, I scold, I put him in the corner ... and afterwards I hug, kiss and comfort. The maternal mature of discipline has been addressed in other posts here, but it is crucial for us. And it is not just one-way: Andy can be quite paternal in his areas of responsibility (provider, protector, spiritual leader). Recently, for instance, he gave me quite the lecture about being late for church, which is usually due to me taking too long with my hair (using that same hairbrush that gets applied to his bottom, ironically).
ReplyDeleteThe intimacy during discipline is also important to us. I want the physical contact of feeling him over my lap. I want to feel him wriggling around as I spank. I feel so close to him, and I know he feels the same. Making him bend over a chair or the end of the bed just seems so sterile to me; when I do use those positions, I always rest my left hand on the small of his back because I just feel like I have to be touching him while I punish him. The dynamic doesn't work for ME without that touch (and he feels the same).
So ... OTK excludes a whole slew of implements (cane, long paddle, belt, razor strop, switches). We did "switch to the switch" when we were trying to keep quiet from our daughter, but neither of us found it as satisfying because we couldn't do it OTK.
But OTK does allow for many implements, and like others we have our collection of wooden spoons, leather paddles, plastic paddles, wood paddles, sandals (plimsoles, the Brits call them), bath brush, and of course hair brushes. Ninetly percent of the time I use the hairbrush--a very old oversized wooden brush that is quite thick and much more effective than the standard hairbrushes you buy today. That, too, is because of the maternal feel. There is nothing like giving my naughty boy a spanking over my knee with my hairbrush. It's not just that it's iconic; it "feels right" to both of us. I feel sort of emotional even writing about this!
Helen
You and Dev are very much alike.
DeleteI do agree that OTK is, by far, the most intimate and maternal spanking position. She has always put effectiveness over those factors, however, because OTK is as you point out so limiting with respect to the kind of implements she can use. She also feels it limits her ability to deliver a really long, hard swing.
DeleteOTK is not somthing either of us have a strong preferance for. We have and do otk but I spend more time on all fours and bent over than otk. My backside can take a pretty good spanking and I don't bruise or mark easy. She ends up getting more of a work out otk than I get a spanking.
DeleteWe will use it for non-pumishment. While rare we will incorporate it into sex occasionally and it is more intimate. But I can pretty much figure if I am in trouble it is "take your pants off and bend over"...she can then use any implement we own.
"My backside can take a pretty good spanking and I don't bruise or mark easy." Same here. I have a pretty high threshold for pain, and while I did bruise easily when we first started DD, the opposite is true today. I got a very hard, long spanking with the bath brush (a testament to the danger to my bottom now that she does read this blog), and while my butt is red and tender this morning, there is not much visible bruising.
DeleteHi Glen. Unintentionally so! It did end before she wanted it to. One bad feature of our bathbrush is the back is a bit rough, and it tends to "scuff" my butt, i.e. some very minor tearing or scrubbing which she is not willing to continue to spank through.
Delete:-) Coincidentally, I noticed yesterday that we have one exactly like you describe hanging in our closet.
DeleteThe clothes brush probably doesn't get its due as a formidable instrument. The girlfriend who introduced me to DD used it for a while along with a homemade paddle she had crafted. Eventually they both were replaced with a sauna brush which is another tool that doesn't get spoken about very much but is very effective rivaling in some ways the bath brush ( which is the king of the hill)
DeleteAlan
Nope, Lots of sauna brushes have short handles with longish bases,very different from the( typically)rounded bath brush. They are more like the old fashioned hairbrushes with an attitude.
DeleteThe clothes brush may get a mid-week workout, as it took me only two days to earn myself another hard spanking.
DeleteI have not heard of a sauna brush. Given the current state of my bottom, now may not be the right time to add more to her arsenal.
I believe I have posted here once before but honestly do not remember or remember whether I posted anonymously. My wife and I have been in an off and on WLM since 2010. It is the "off" part that has probably kept me from posting as often it feels more like a fantasy than reality at times. More days I feel like I am in the " or would like to be in, Domestic Discipline or Wife Led relationships." However, we have had some recent talks and I am not sure but may find myself in the next couple of hours being on the receiving end of what I both love and hate.
ReplyDeleteAs far as implements we do not have many but have tried a variety. My wife has used a ruler and a yard stick both of which surprisingly were very smart and left "impressions" for a bit. She has used a plastic cutting board (paddle) it definitely hurts and think the non-smooth texture may add too the ouch factor. The wooden spoon is definitely one I do not like to be on the receiving end of. A leather belt is effective, so is the hair brush but she needs a new/old hairbrush as what she had was bamboo and split. She has used a ping pong paddle which brings a sting but does not give that deep discipline. She herself went to a feed store a few months ago and bought a flogger probably about 2 feet long and has used it once and I expect I will be on the receiving end of that more as it seemed to provide for both of us. The worse spanking that I have received thus far was many years ago and I am not sure if it was the length of time that she spanked me or the implement but what she used was a higher quality flip flop. We had dinner guest that evening and I had to keep moving around in my seat while having conversation. Even the next day or two I found sitting to be a bit uncomfortable.
Thank you for taking the time to blog and share your story. The conversations can be quite good. I usually see each weeks post but of course have been more of a lurker. Hopefully in the future I will feel more in the reality than fantasy (I definitely do not want to come across as some of your posters have as telling fictitious stories).
Luvinhub
Hi Luvinhub. I hope you get onto the side you want of the "in" versus "want to be in" DD divide. Thanks also for wanting to not contribute to creating an air of fictitious stories here, though talking about past experiences or about hopes is always OK.
DeleteIt's rare that I've deleted comments because they just weren't believable, except in the case of Sean. It's not always easy to discern what is true and what is fantasy. For example, I suspect about 99% of stories about mother-in-law spankings are BS, yet a few of them have the ring of truth. When someone says they were left sobbing by an OTK spanking with a hairbrush, it's a hard one for me to believe because I've never had one in that position with that implement that left me anything other than bored. But, some men have low pain thresholds and/or cry easily, so just because I have my doubts doesn't mean it isn't true. Conversely, some readers doubt the veracity of those who talk about getting hundreds of swats with a severe implement, because they have not personally experienced anything that severe. Yet, many of us have received many such spankings. So, I try to reserve judgment on whether something is true, sort of true but embellished, or likely a total whopper.
DeleteDan
DeleteI don't envy your job of trying to separate the wheat from the chaff. There are a few posters around who clearly reveal themselves by recounting the same scenario over and over ad nauseam and others who seem obsessed with working the same words into their account Mr "face the wall" and Mr "she could care less" fall in that category. But I am skeptical of assuming fiction in accounts that seem unlikely simply because I have not experienced them ( the mother-in law scenario for example) In my life outside spanking I have often found myself skeptical of things simply because I never experienced them. But afterward found out those things were real or had happened. So, look for the obvious frauds but be aware that just because one hasn't experience something doesn't mean it isn't real because often enough it is
Alan
Hi Alan. There also is Mr. "leg lock," though most of his comments were in the Guestbook. Which resulted in me finally shutting it down when I got sick and tired of deleting his crap. Though, I suspect Mr. leg lock, Mr. "face the wall" and Mr. "she could care less" are all the same OCD-afflicted person.
DeleteYou did a great job of articulating my own philosophy on this. An irony of this blog is that while I may management it, and I've been in this lifestyle for over a decade, many of you have experienced more variations on it than I have and been more adventurous or more consistent in exploring or applying it. So, recognizing the limited scope of my own experiences, I try not to doubt something just because I haven't done it. And, even as I've worked my way into middle-age, people still have an endless capacity to surprise me. Moreover, in separating the wheat from chaff, I'm less interested in trying to figure out whether a story is real or is fantasy than it deciding whether it adds to or detracts from a blog that is supposed to be about "real" DD relationships. A story in a comment may or may not be fake, but if it (a) is about DD and doesn't drift off into Femdom or generalized spanko stuff; and (b) seems at least plausible, then I'm generally OK with it, unless it becomes a repetitive bore like Mr. "face the wall." So, paradoxically, a well written comment that is on point and plausible might add more value to the blog even if the story isn't real than a real account that is off-topic, poorly written, or aimed more at the BDSM crowd, even if totally true.
Helen, you are certainly right that this forum has historically focused more on the relationship side of DD and FLR than on the actual punishments. I kind of have mixed feelings about this because on the one hand I am intensely curious about just how other people's real-life punishments play out, but at the same time I recognize it is a slippery slope, and if the focus shifts too far to the punishments, this forum could easily turn into yet another mostly fictional spanking fantasy board, and that would be a shame.
DeleteHaving said that, I for one hope that you will continue to be active here, since I appreciate reading you input and perspective.
On a broader note, like others, I too tend to be skeptical of things that I haven't personally experienced. I guess in the end there is no way to know what is true and what is made up.
I personally tend to discount most stories that involve other people being involved because I just doubt that it happens often, especially in DD and FLR relationships (as opposed to BDSM and femdom play, where it may very well be more common). At the same time, considering how I have seen women share secrets, I can quite easily imagine cases where a wife might tell her close friends or sister. But I think if that does happen, it is extremely unlikely that person would witness or participate in a spanking. Anyway, that is just me...
-ZM
Helen,
DeleteI think your writing style and experiences make a real contribution to our dialogue and hope you will continue. If anyone is skeptical about something you report I suggest they consider their skepticism may be simply because they have not experienced it personally.Or in a forum like this, perhaps posters can ask other posters questions about particular reported or types of spanking. I did this myself asking about the frequency you spanked Andy which I initially found somewhat surprising given the severity you also mentioned. But you answer made complete sense ( although Andy's penchant for provoking a spanking from you may not) . But the bigger point is that we learn from each others experiences and need to be open to experiences we may not have yet had
Alan
Helen,
DeleteDon't let the skeptics bother you. In all fairness, personality types differ a great deal and some people are genuinely wired for a lot more doubt than others.
During all those DWC years we received thousands of communications and contributions. It was pretty easy to spot most of the fakes, but not always.
If it makes any difference, your contributions don't raise any doubt in my mind. Most of us who have lived the lifestyle are fairly good at sniffing out phonies.
Thanks for an interesting piece. My wife has three canes, a strap and two leather paddles. She is clear that she has all she needs and resisted my suggestions I once made for a hairbrush or wooden paddle. I know well enough not to raise it again - punishment and the implements are her choice, although I am allowed to request if I think I deserve it.
ReplyDeleteShe says she enjoys using all three of her canes(quite heavy, medium weight and light whippy), her strap is a purpose made doubled over leather strap which was quite stiff when she first got it and is now a lot more flexible! She says she particularly likes it because she can have a lot of effect with minimal effort when using it. The canes are used typically with me in 'the caning poistion' which is me naked lying face down on the bed with pillows under my groin to lift my bottom. The strap is given either with me bending over our dining room table or kneeling on a stool im our sitting room with my hands on the floor.
I don't often receive otk discipline because my wife has some difficulty with her knees and weight across them can cause her pain. She does however use the paddles on some mornings with me lying across her lap as she sits up in bed.
As with some others reporting here the choice is very much about her satifaction and comfort, and her view of the effectiveness on my behaviour.
A woman who knows what she likes. Thanks, Peter!
DeleteDan
ReplyDeleteI use three different methods of spanking Peter. Each method requires he adopt different positions.
1) Brush and /or Paddle - Over my knees bare assed. Cock and balls neatly tucked between my thighs.
2) Caning - He lays atop a mound of pillows face down. Legs spread wide and genitals tucked away.
3) 4 inch Leather belt - Kneeling over padded ottoman. Legs spread wide balls dangling.
Recently, in the past few years, I often choose to use more than one method of punishment. I always keep
what I am going to use secret until we are about to begin.I tend to begin always with him kneeling naked
while i sit on edge of bed and I tell him why he is being punished. Then over my knees like the naughty boy
he has become. Once I see a nice warm glow on his round firm bottom. We move on to one of the other
punishments. Usually I enjoy using the belt. It is a supple 2.5 inches black leather belt that was worn by
his grandfather as a policeman. With Peter kneeling he leaves an inviting target. Finally he kneels before
me and if I dont see the correct attitude I send him to get the cane. For some reason five with the cane
seem to bring the correct attitude. If I have used the cane he knows that there will be additional corner time.
Later as we climb into bed there is his moment, in the dark to beg to make it up to me with him tongue.
Anna
Hi Anna. That's great that you're able to use a belt worn by your grandfather.
DeleteIt is actually Peter's granddad and the old man is still alive.. flirts with me wild old man 89
Deleteanna
Nice. May we all be that way at that age. I've always aspired to dying at the age of 90 (or older) at the hands of a jealous husband. :-)
DeleteTo Anonymous from Joe2,
DeleteMaybe he wants to go out with a bang.
Definitely the best way to go!
DeleteJoe2 here,
ReplyDeleteMy wife uses several instruments that share one characteristic: there is no outward evidence of its main purpose.
We tried a vintage hair brush made by “dubl duck.” The brush is made of wood, has boar bristles and is slotted in the back (cutouts between each row of bristle). My idea was that the slots would reduce the surface area of the back of the brush, thereby increasing the pain. The brush is not very effective, because my wife does not raise her arm above her shoulder, so the strikes are not worth the effort.
The next is a geriatric shoe horn. The shoe horn is made of stainless steel, beveled (to assist in getting your shoe on), about 18 inches long, 1 1/4 inch wide and has a rubber handle. The shoe horn is very effective, but my wife has to pay attention, because it can and has cut me. The edge isn’t sharp, but I guess the skin must have been stressed to the point that I received a nice slice.
We don’t have canes, but my wife has been using a nylon rod that is about 30 inches long and a quarter inch thick. I found it amongst the junk that tends to gather in my garage. It is very effective at delivering pain and it is the second most used instrument. Up until recently, the rod’s original purpose was unknown, but while visiting relatives that own a farm I saw thousands of them. It is a broken electric fence post. The irony was not lost on my wife.
The next instrument are two very thin synthetic rods about 1/16 inch wide and 28 inches long. The original purpose of these rods is unknown. The rods have little rubber caps at each end. I tape the rods together, so they act as a pair. The rods themselves cause little pain, but those caps inflict damage. It is like being stung by a bee- the pain sets in about a second after the strike. They are very dangerous because, the pain is localized only where the cap hits and I do not react very much; but later a bruise appears everywhere a cap hits. The first time my wife used this on me, she hit me about 15-20 times before moving to another instrument. Later that day, my bottom looked like someone had used me as target practice with a BB gun.
The last item is a standard bath brush that Merry suggested to me on your forum a while back. It is very effective and is the mainstay in my wife’s arsenal. While the other toys may or may not be used; the bath brush is used every time. At first my wife did not like the sound that it makes when applied to my bottom, but since has come to enjoy it. There are three reasons for her change in approval: 1) it is very effective; 2) she can handle it easily; and 3) it makes a different sound in accordance to impact of the strike (so she does not have to rely on my body movement or voice as feedback). Sometimes, I modify the bath brush by applying double sided tape onto two trimmed Popsicle sticks and sticking them on the back of the brush. This increases the pain. I think long and hard before I do this.
Bath brushes really are incredibly useful, for all the reasons you mention. They are also the only instrument we use that aren't purpose-built for spanking.
DeleteIn answer to your question re the use of the cane, it is by some distance my wife's favourite instrument of correction. "the Queen of rods" Kay calls her cane. She uses it only for the most serious offences I suppose I'm caned about 6 to 9 times a year. Mostly I'm spanked otk with wooden spoon or hairbrush. We live in Ireland and it was actually my suggestion that Kay use a cane for those serious faults or misdemeanors. Her first attempts with the rattan cane were clumsy but she persisted and read up on how to use a cane properly. This was 35 years ago and of course Kay has long since become expert with her cane(s)and probably knows as much about the technique and effectiveness of caning as anyone. Anyway that just my twopence worth n the cane an implement I'm familiar with. It hurts like nothing else I've felt but in a strange way its erotic too even that swish sound it makes is "music".
ReplyDeleteI agree there is, at least for me, an erotic element to the cane. But, I guess I come to feel that way about most instruments. I cannot look at a bath brush without associating it with DD.
DeleteThat has been my experience too. It did take the wife a while to become proficient but she did so not by reading about it, but by practice and learning from mistakes. It turned out she was something of a natural and when she really means business she can lay on the strokes so hard that the weals feel as thick as pencils when I try and rub my bottom better when she is done. The stripes typically last about 3-4 weeks until they fade. When C canes she invariably dresses in a sleeveless dress or shirt because she has found that a completely bare right arm enables her to swing that cane with no interference from loose clothing. I personally find it very erotic when C dresses in a sleeveless dress on a normal day or evening, because I am reminded of those occasions when that bare right arm has come down hard on me. C always canes on the bare bottom with me bending over the back of a dining room chair. There is never any question of my keeping underwear or pyjamas on. She will usually give ten strokes but that can be more if I jump up or make too much of a fuss. On one memorable occasion she had nearly got to the end of my ten strokes and then started over from the start because I had annoyed her so much by my fussing and wriggling and standing up after three strokes had landed in exactly the same place one exactly on top of the other. The cane is her favorite instrument of punishment and just like Alan's wife she says that she really enjoys the sound as it swishes through the air and the way the cane impacts on my bottom. She says that she also enjoys 'lining up the stripes' as she puts it. C is an English lady and like me we attended schools where the cane was available as the ultimate deterrent. Neither of us were caned at school but one knew that it was possible so it was sort of 'there' if you see what I mean. I think the cane is therefore very iconic for us both. For us it has an erotic flavour because there is usually some very intense sex once we get to bed afterwards, and as we are 'doing it' we will often refer to the earlier caning in our passionate pillow talk, describing how it felt for both of us as the love making progresses. She enjoys running her fingers over my weals and scratching them too if she is feeljng especially vindictive !
ReplyDelete3-4 weeks?? Wow!
DeleteYou and ZM have me convinced I need to ask my wife to wear a particular shirt or garment to signal a spanking is coming. It seems to create a certain aura around the whole experience.
When I say 3-4 weeks, don't be too alarmed Dan - I don't mean raised welts standing up for that period of time, I mean some but not all of the stripes can still be visible for 3-4 weeks. I also omitted to mention that she has long been a keen tennis player. It makes a difference. I wonder what outfit you will choose. Our sleeveless thing simply evolved in its own time.
DeleteHi Dan,
DeleteI read my wife your comment last night, and it made her laugh because just the night before she had donned the camo t-shirt and we had a "discussion."
-ZM
Both of you are fortunate. There are several pieces of feminine apparel I find "stimulating" in connection with spanking. But in turn I have asked both women who have disciplined me to " dress up" , nothing too elaborate but skirt, heels, etc. Both refused adamantly and to this day I am spanked in whatever she is wearing at the time, usually something not particularly sexy.I wonder how other women feel about this because I have been completely unsuccessful even though I think it would make the discipline more successful and certainly would make me more obedient
DeleteAlan
The black leather strap has a unique, symbolic place in my mind as I received it very frequently as a schoolboy many years ago from the 'Christian' Brothers. Bizarrely as I reached puberty all things spanking became of interest to me except when I was actually being punished at school, when I discovered the very clear distinction between fantasy and reality...
ReplyDeleteThere was a long gap between school punishment and finally raising the whole topic of DD with my wife, who luckily despite finding it initially quite odd has taken to it enthusiastically, especially when she started to see the improvements in many areas of our relationship as a result of her taking the whip hand.
We initially experimented with household items, favouring the Bodyshop bath brush (although she felt then that it was too severe as it almost always left bruises. I bought her a leather paddle as a present which she was very taken with (to the point that she had to use it immediately! from London Tanners. It was effective but she said she had to work hard to make an impact. I then got her a wooden paddle which stung like nothing else - it was quite thin but really hurt. That became her 'go to' implement until it actually split in two whilst in vigorous use! I replaced it with a heavier oak paddle which she has never liked. I then took the plunge and got an Irish School strap (again from London Tanners). That and the synthetic cane are the most used.
The strap in particular gets my full attention from the very first stroke. I never feel quite so exposed as when it is use, it produces an intense sting that goes deep and which lasts. It is quite heavy and so she does not have to exert much effort for it to work. After 3 -4 minutes of being in the almost unbearable place some numbness sets in - she will often move to the little cane at that point to ensure that the high level of discomfort carries on. TB
Dan: I made my wife a long-handled 3/8" thick baltic birch plywood paddle that is not quite as pretty as some commercially made solid wood paddles, but it looks attractive when sanded and finished, and I am pretty certain it will never break when vigorously used for paddling. My wife can handle it very easily when I am in the prone position, and it delivers a very effective spanking.
DeleteDoug
My boyfriend(!) has a large thin metal paddle that can be refrigerated for temperature play. I used it on him over the weekend as a 'test' and it was fun.
ReplyDeleteHaven't heard of temperature play. Interesting.
DeleteWe have a wide variety of implements in our arsenal, including several canes.
ReplyDeleteWe have two Dragon canes both of which are straight and have a red cord handle. The business end is bound with red cotton. In use these are very thuddy. One is about 8mm and the other about 10mm. We also have a thin dark smoked dragon cane, about 5mm in diameter with a crook handle. This has a delicious sting in use.
There are also several canes made from willow in various thicknesses which are very light to use.
The most painful implement by far though is a thick round rubber paddle with bevelled holes about 10 cms in diameter. Use OTK with a reduced swing it is very painful. When bent over the table to allow for a better swing it is excruciating!
We finally got rid of most of our rubber implements. They were, indeed, excruciating but also way too prone to cutting skin.
DeleteAs well as quite a lot of different implements we have one which is only ever used for my Maintenance Spankings.
ReplyDeleteThese take place once a month (on the morning of the 16th - why the 16th is lost in time).
It is a wooden holed paddle 2" wide and 22" long plus a shaped wooden 5" handle making it easy to grip. It is only about 1/4" thick and it is made from a piece of highly polished oak and covers both cheeks easily.
When I come down to breakfast on the 16th I have to bring the paddle downstairs with me.
After breakfast my wife clears away the dishes and i have to lie over the table trousers down and wait until she has finished all her kitchen chores. This could be a few minutes or on one occasion when she was making a cake, over an hour.
When she has done her jobs, she takes down my underpants.
This is a sign for me to say the 1st sentence:-
One. This Maintenance Spanking is to show me that you love me. (She applies 1st stroke of paddle)
Two. I often misbehave. (Stroke)
Three. When I misbehave you will punish me (Stroke)
Four. The punishment will hurt. (Stroke)
Five. The punishment is for my own good. (Stroke)
Six. I will thank you for it afterwards (Stroke)
Thank you for my Maintenance Spanking.
(I kiss my wife)
During the months of January, April, July, October the numbers of strokes is doubled. So after stroke No.6 I get 6 more strokes given without a pause.
I then have to redress and get on with my day, with a red tingling bottom.
I put my Maintenance Paddle away until next month!
Hi Dan,
ReplyDeleteIt has been a busy week, so I have not had opportunity to chime in yet. For me, the answer to which implements get a strong emotional response is evolving as we do this longer.
Presumably since my fascination with discipline came from my early years, I have always been most into paddles, bathbrushes, and hairbrushes though I would have to say that has changed somewhat. I am still certainly the most into paddles, but I have been generally disappointed with the effects of them compared with my expectation. From hearing stories in school, watching certain videos, and reading countless media stories, I really expected that 5 or 10 hard swats with a paddle would leave me bruised and unable to sit comfortably for days. The reality at least so far from our many paddles has been a lot of noise, rapid onset of numbness, and no lasting effects, even though she spanks very hard. Since I am still somewhat enamored with the idea of paddles, I haven't given up on them and hope to make one that is thicker, narrower, and perhaps with holes that will hopefully give the desired (which actually means “undesired at the time”) effects. Any suggestions?
Hairbrushes can be very stingy, but they don't seem to fit her style of spanking all that well, since they really require a non-ending onslaught of hard and fast strokes, and she prefers to space strokes out a bit. The advantage they have is that they are small and easy to control, so all the exposed areas can be punished with little effort.
The bathbrush is something that she doesn't use much, though we have a pretty wicked one. It provides both sting and thud, and can pretty quickly leave bruises. At the same time, it doesn't really cause numbness as fast (maybe because it can hit slightly different areas each stroke). As I type this, I realize I should be thankful she doesn't usually reach for this first!
Now for the “evolving” part. Years ago, when DD was still just a thought/fantasy of mine, I had no interest in canes or straps (or technically no interest in pictures involving canes or straps). I also was generally turned off by pictures that showed bruising, and especially cane lines. I would now say that I am now much more interested in the more “whippy” implements, and now I expect that any real spanking will leave some marks for a few days at least.
About a year ago, we got some canes to try, as I wrote about last week, and they are certainly her favorite items. I kind of have a love/hate relationship with them because they just hurt so bad. We also got a “curse of Dana” rubber strap. I don't know what to think about it exactly, other than it is certainly effective.
Anyway, as we walk this path, we continue to try new things, and as we do not only is our arsenal increasing but also my emotional response to the different implements is changing.
-ZM
Hi ZM. My experience and feelings about paddles are similar to yours. When we first began, we tried bath brushes but, when they proved to be pretty wimpy, we quickly got a real paddle. At first, it did leave very significant bruising with fairly small numbers of swats. But, that quickly changed. We tried going very large and thick, but that seemed to actually make the paddle less effective, as it was harder for her to swing with force, and it was all thud and then quick numbness. After LOTS of experimentation, the ones that hurt the most seem to be thinner (1/2-inch or less), about 14 - 16 inches long, 3.5 to 4 inches wide, with holes. But, as we've discussed, some of those can hurt so bad right away that it's almost counterproductive. And, I've yet to find a paddle that doesn't cause my butt to go numb in only a few minutes.
DeleteStraps have always held some emotional interest for me, but I've also come to increasingly appreciate their utility and the balance between severity and duration that are possible with them.
I got one of the canes we discussed in the mail this week. She has not tried it yet. I also did get the Curse of Dana strap, but I threw it out after a day or two, because it smelled like an old tire.
Sorry, the second sentence should have referred to hairbrushes, not bath brushes. Bath brushes are NOT wimpy.
DeleteI'd been concerned that my wife might hurt her own hand/wrist with an unyielding paddle/brush (so far she seems fine!). We did pick out an M1 strap from the Leatherthorn etsy store. As you note Dan, it's good for providing a real range of sensations from mild to intensely stingy. It's great looking too, though it certainly wouldn't be confused with an everyday household item!
DeleteCrimsonKing
I just checked it out on Etsy. Quite an evil looking strap!
DeleteIt surprises me that many of you think of hairbrushes as wimpy and boring. I do not think Andy would agree. When I am done with a session, he typically has a few bruises and he will jump off my lap and do the Spankee dance before getting down to the business of thanking me.
ReplyDeleteOf course, my hairbrush is not the typical one you buy on the market today. It is quite old, made of solid wood about a half inch thick, oversized, with an extra long handle. Plus I raise it completely over my head and bring it down as hard as I can. I also spank as fast as I can, at least one per second. And with no warm-up at all. So it truly is punishment for Andy. I don't count spanks but it is always over a hundred and sometimes way more than that.
So I wonder if those of you who think of hair brushes as wimpy have experienced it quite that way. I doubt it!
I forgot to mention that I typically focus on a fairly small area of Andy's bottom on each cheek. I will usually hit the same spot 5 times in a row, and then switch to the other cheek for five in a row. Then back to the first cheek, overlapping the spot I had previously struck for five more in a row. So over the course of a spanking, Andy gets smacks in the same spot many many times. And of course that intensifies the pain and the resulting marks.
DeleteTherein lies another problem with hairbrushes -- finding one like you describe. I still have vivid memories of walking around a mall the day we kicked off our DD relationship, trying to comply with her instruction to buy her a suitable hairbrush but striking out at store after store.
DeleteI found it at an antique store, part of a set that included a mirror and a comb. Usually those are metal but this set was wood. Andy lovingly cleaned them up for me. I had wanted to inherit my mother's hairbrush, the one that she used on me and mostly on my brothers. But it disappeared somehow. My youngest brother claimed that he put it in her coffin so that she could spank in heaven, but he has always been quite the jokester and smart mouth.
DeleteNice. Thankfully, my mother was not much of a spanker so I have no such memorabilia. When my wife and I pass, however, our kids will have quite the collection to split up if we go suddenly and don't dispose of such things in advance. :-)
DeleteThe DWC formerly sold a brush style paddle ( no bristles) called ( I think) "old reliable" with the imprint of a heart on it). We have one and I think it's about 3/8 inches thick with a hairbrush like handle.My wife doesn't use it very often because she finds it " thuddy" for which I am grateful because it packs a wallop, either OTK or over the bed or arm of a chair. It is fearsome and so I can imagine what one like Helen describes at 1/2 inch would feel like at 100 strokes. I think the most I ever received with the "old Reliable" was 75 and I had bruises for well overt a week. Positioning can cause a problem OTK perhaps but there are work-abounds that. Brushes like that or my wife's sauna brush are not wimpy I assure you. We don't use OTK exclusively but I agree with Helen that it is " more intimate" and with practice it can be as severe as any other instrument excepting possibly a heavy strap
DeleteAlan
Helen is quite right about the power of the hairbrush. I also agree with her that any one who calls it wimpy can not really have experienced it. I am glad that Helen continues to post here. Her contributions are excellent.
DeleteGlen, I would love to show it to you ... while applying it for your snide comment about posters!
DeleteBy antique do you by any chance mean ebony? I have a couple of small ebony hairbrushes, probably 100 years old and doubtless used on many generations. It is a very, very dense wood and hits like steel.
DeleteIt wasn't until I read the description for the following week's discussion that I realized that not many of us had addressed the emotional connection to an Implement that was asked about. Andy and I both have emotional connections to the hairbrush because that is what was used on both of us when we were growing up. I didn't experience it that much, but my brothers did and it was the one implement with which we were threatened. Andy also experienced the hair brush from his mother, so we have that in common. And that does lead to a fairly intense emotional attachment, and so it is not surprising that that is our implement of choice as a DD couple.
ReplyDeleteHi Helen. That might explain why I don't have much affinity for the hairbrush. Belts seemed to be the instrument of choice for family discipline where I grew up, while paddles were ubiquitous at school. So, those two instruments do have an emotional connection for me, though like you I didn't get spanked that much as a child, whether at home or school. I really don't remember my mom spanking me. I'm sure she did, though none were apparently very memorable. I really remember only one from my dad, and that one WAS memorable and was with a belt. Though, I don't remember WHICH belt, so I wouldn't be able to take it after he is gone even if I had the opportunity.
Delete