Saturday, March 17, 2018

The Forum - Vol. 243 - Variations on Physical Punishment


We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment. - Jim Rohn

Hi all.  Welcome back to the Forum.  Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or want to be in, Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationships. I hope you had a great week.

As a preliminary matter, Happy St. Patrick's Day!  

 
Last week's topic was fun.  As I said, I got the idea from Ronnie over at the Heart and Soul blog: https://ronniesoul.blogspot.com.  Though I noticed something interesting when I saw the questions she was asked by her readers, versus the ones you all hit me with.  She got questions like, "Where do you most want to travel" and "What is your favorite childhood memory?"  I, on the other hand, got questions about how I get naked before a spanking, do I get hard during a spanking, what is sex like after a spanking . . . Obviously you all are much, much more perverted than Ronnie's readers.  Let's keep it that way!

The idea for this week's topic started narrow, but I decided to expand it a bit.  I was reading spanking stories a few weeks ago, some DD-oriented along with parental spankings, school spankings, woodshed spankings, etc.  In several of them, in addition to spanking or strapping on the butt, the spanking extended to the thighs as well. 


Sometimes spanking the thighs was just part of the session, and in others it was doled out as extra punishment for not cooperating with the spanking.

Spanking art also often shows marking extending well below the buttocks and well down the thighs.

For some reason, a lot of the relevant art I found involved female spankees, though you see it with males as well.


 In planning for the topic, it also occurred to me that while we have talked about alternative non-physical punishments, such as corner time, we haven't talked about punishments that involve some physical pain or discomfort other than spanking, for example, figging:

There are probably lots of other examples.  Others I've read about include using a tawse or ruler on outstretched hands or kneeling on the floor for long periods of time or on uncooked rice.  

Do you have experience with any of the above, for disciplinary purposes?  Any others come to mind?  And, no, for my BDSM-oriented troll, I have absolutely no interest in providing a platform for you to discuss your little leg-lock obsession, so don't even try to post.

Have a great week.



48 comments:

  1. Hooray! I LOVE figging, and I also enjoy using select implements on Shilo's thighs (and other places as well) SUCH FUN!!!

    Also, I don't consider figging to be a punishment, but rather, a rare treat.

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    1. May I add that figging feels GOOD!

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    2. I have never experienced it, but I have definitely seen others describe it in terms much different than "good". :-)

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    3. Blame the sadomasochist in me... I could tell you stories too hot (pun intended) for most.

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    4. Merry, I have heard that you have to be careful about hitting the thighs instead of the buttocks because veins are closer to the surface in the thighs, so it is possible to do lasting damage. Is that true? I notice you said that you use “select implements” on the thighs. Is that because of the risk factor?

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  2. From time to time, my wife will push my boundaries with some post-orgasm torture. Like many men, my glans becomes super-sensitive right after I come. My wife will explot this by energetically rubbing and squeezing it while I thrash around and try to endure her treatment. Like spanking, it's unbearable while it's happening, but something I fantasize about when it's isn't. I can't say she's put this to any specific disciplinary purpose, but it's an outstanding exercise in female dominance, and I'm more afraid of it than her spankings.
    CrimsonKing

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  3. Hi Dan,
    Great topic, as always, and this time it is particularly timely for me.

    Part 1:

    Anyway, my wife and I are apparently quite kinky. Although we are still quite new to DD, we have already tried many different things, mostly while playing. As I have written before, we have two types of activities which we call #1 and #2: #1 is real punishment for real reasons with real emotions, #2 is more femdom/roleplay. They are quite distinct and come with different feelings and results. I will give my brief impressions of quite a few of the punishments that we have tried, in no particular order.

    Figging – Produces a burning sensation which builds up for several minutes. It lasts maybe 20 minutes or so, but if you remove the ginger goes away almost immediately. The effect is intensified if you happen to clench your cheeks, so it goes very well with spanking, since if you don't clench, the spanking hurts more, and if you do, then the fig hurts more. I would agree with Merry that this isn't really punishment, though. It isn't all that painful, but rather is something that you are very mindful of.

    Hand punishment – We don't have a strap or tawse but we have used a thin and relatively short rattan cane. It hurts intensely, much like if you fall on asphalt and catch yourself with your hands, and the burn lasts for quite a while. This punishment is quite different psychologically (for both parties), since you can look into each others eyes as it is administered.

    Icy hot on genitals – Just incredibly hot. The heat ramps to almost unbearable within the first minute or two. Thankfully, after about 15-20 minutes or so, it largely subsides.

    Clothespins on nipples – I find that when she does this, I cannot focus on anything else, which might make it counterproductive during a spanking, but during corner time it is very effective. Two notes: it hurts even worse right after you remove them, and it can leave a tenderness that lasts for some time.

    -ZM

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  4. Part 2:

    Waxing – She has waxed my bottom using wax strips for legs, which accomplishes multiple things. First, it makes me feel even more naked. Second, it makes me feel totally under her control, because she just announces “I am going to wax your bottom” and I have no say in it. Third, because it feels a bit weird for weeks, it keeps my mind on all these activities even more than usual. Finally, it greatly increases the sensitivity of the skin for quite a while, making everything hurt more.

    Diaper position – Not a punishment in and of itself, but just a really effective punishment amplifier. It increases both the humiliation and pain of spanking immeasurably.

    Nettles – Super painful, burning sensation. The most incredible thing about these is that even though they leave big welts when they touch you, after about 4-6 hours, all effects are completely gone.

    Punishment between the cheeks – Still a type of spanking, but with different implements and with much different sensations. Again, very humiliating and very painful at the time.

    Capsaicin – After a vigorous spanking, capsaicin cream can leave your bottom feeling on fire and “just-spanked” for hours and hours. In fact, the sensation can keep returning off and on for a day or two. All without all the damage that would normally be required to make a spanking felt for a long time.

    Mouth soaping – Even mentioning this leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Hahaha. Anyway, this is both humiliating and unpleasant. An excellent “punishment amplifier” that can be used during either spanking or corner time.

    Corner time – She often will give me specific tasks to think of, like “come up with a plan for how you are going to do _____” and this keeps me focused. Also, combined with additional challenges like holding a coin to the wall with your nose or with the pain of clothespins on the nipples or icy hot on the genitals, the time just seems to go on forever.

    Pegging – Not a turn on for either of us, but we have used it a couple of times to good effect. It really caps a punishment not only because it is so psychologically powerful and makes you feel totally dominated, but also because it provides unpleasant sensation to yet another area of your bottom, leaving your bottom violated inside and out. Again, neither of us is really into this much, so it is reserved for “special” occasions.

    The reason this topic was so appropriate and timely is because I have been informed that I am going to be punished again for attitude, and that it is going to include many of these things, including (at least) waxing my bottom, icy hot on genitals, figging, possibly nettles, and punishment in diaper position, plus probably other things. Needless to say, I can think of little else these days.

    - ZM

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    1. Wow! That is quite an impressive list! Way ahead of us.

      I had intended to put mouth soaping on my list but forgot. It's another one I have not experienced, and kind of hope not to.

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  5. The strap (a London Tanners Irish School Strap) is in almost exclusive use in our house now. Apparently it is the most comfortable to use, appears (from her perspective) to be the most effective, (I have to agree!) and it is very symbolic as it has no possible other use than punishment, none what so ever. I have to say that the mere sight of it puts me in a different mental place, a fact she has clearly noted. She does not have any interest in corner time, or any other type of enhanced punishment - she says she really likes the 'purity & simplicity' of what she currently does when I get out of control.

    Mainly used on my naked buttocks with great effect. She does occasionally land it on my upper thighs during a long session just (as she says) to spread the pain & impact). It is easily the most painful part to get the leather strap and she knows that I get a bit 'numb' after a couple of minutes around the cheeks and so will often land a couple of real stingers on the previously untouched upper thigh area. I like not at all!

    And slightly off topic, the other night I got the instruction to 'go upstairs & prepare' which took me by surprise and seemed unnecessary/undeserved. I protested (a little) to no effect and so quite reluctantly did as told. The telling off started as usual as did a flurry of early strokes, no hint of warm up. It really hurt from the get go and I was still in protest mode. She then said something like ' I know you don't agree so I am going to make this really count' to which I for some stupid reason (hysteria?) inadvertently laughed! More of a very nervous laugh. When I say 'laughed' I mean that laugh which is almost a cry. Never done it before and hope never again as she took it as a clear message to considerably up the pace and heat (with quite a few to the thigh area!) meaning two days later I am still sitting with care. Very strange. TB

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    1. Very interesting development. Did her "telling" off include any explanation for what you had done, or was it purely about enforcing her role?

      I have never come close to laughing during a spanking, but I get what you mean by a laugh that is almost a cry.

      I am a little surprised that the strap leaves you numb. Paddles do that to me frequently, but the strap has not so far.

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    2. There was some good 'commentary' in the telling off about some perceived moodiness, too much introspection, etc but in reality it was more about her imposing control and letting me know who's Boss.

      Maybe 'numb' is too strong but I do find the strap becomes more bearable after the first couple of minutes. Conversely I always find the first minute or so almost unbearable. It is quite a heavy strap and warm ups seem to be a thing of the past. It is like that shocking sensation of jumping into really cold water - it does get better (comparatively) as time goes by... TB

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    3. Interesting that she disciplined you without telling you what it was for. Have you agreed with her that she has the right to punish to without a reason?
      Martin

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    4. Got it. It wasn't quite accurate to say that I haven't experienced numbing with a strap. We have one very heavy strap that feels almost like a paddle, including that initial "shock and awe" that you describe that gets lesser over time. The lighter weight strap works the opposite.

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  6. Sometimes, as a spanking is ramping up, I find myself letting out a laugh as well. Maybe it's a way of processing the pain, or maybe it's just a recognition of the absurd situation we've put ourselves in!
    CrimsonKing

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  7. I hope Tomy responds because many of these “non - corporal” punishments were recommend by Aunt Kay to reinforce a spanking although some of them work well as a stand-alone. In my experience corner time is very powerful but the dynamic changes whether it’s pre—spanking or after. Pre it is all about accepting you have screwed up and need to accept the punishment you need and have earned. Post spanking it more the embarrassment of sticking out your chastised bottom and letting the feelings flow. This is when I often cry and not during the actual spanking. My former girlfriend experimented with post spanking enema’s and pegging (she called them “love” and “marriage” because they “went together”. But pegging was not her thing although I think she enjoyed administering the enema. My wife does like pegging and uses it after some spankings. Of all the reinforcing punishments, pegging is unique because it is not really a punishment like corner time of mouth soaping but I always feel disciplined after it like she has exercised her authority in a profound way. (It is consensual but I am never really ready for it especially after a spanking but she doesn’t care) She has told me pegging gives her a strong sexual thrill and she never feels her control of my bum as much as pegging me (not even spanking does that for her). The memory of it also makes me want to be obedient for a long time (weeks)
    Alan

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    1. Hi Alan. Interesting observations. I always wonder whether pegging really is disciplinary or, to the contrary, whether it gives a sexual thrill and, hence, doesn't really operate as a punishment. It sounds like for you it is something to be avoided, at least post-spanking.

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    2. Pegging (to me) isn't about additional physical punishment. But to preface my point I want to call out 2 things. First, anal play is no longer taboo like it used to be. It seems to be something that's kind of en Vogue these days....literally lol... there seems to be articles about it monthly in all my wife's "woman mags" these days. When there's a full article on "how to with your man" in Cosmopolitan you know you're no longer being edgy. Millennial have it as part of they're regular sexual repertoire...after all come on, every combination of humans; m/f, f/m, m/m, f/f have engaged in anal sex through the ages. So clearly there must be the potential for some degree of "gratification". Hence my opinion it's not always exclusively a painful endeavor, hence not punishment. Second, I am speaking to PEGGING specifically....where the woman straps on a phallus and literally the act of fucking the male. That's different than, as they describe in the glossy articles, the woman laying next to you w a glass of wine giggling as she massages your prostate for your pleasure w one of the million of devices now made specifically for that purpose. They're on the shelves at CVS next to the woman's vibrators they now sell.

      Last of the preamble...I'm not saying this is for everyone (actually I'd suggest it's for the FEW) and I'm not suggesting you need to be engaging in this act to be in complete and utter deference/submission to her .....so note I am going to use the word ULTIMATE. Here we go...lol

      A woman Pegging a man, penetrating him, literally fucking him, is the ULTIMATE physical demonstration of her Domination of him. Conversely, there is no greater act a man can acquiesce to that shows his absolute submission.....just look at how some of you've cringed and recoiled just reading the notion of it just now LOL. MENTALLY, her "taking you" (this is why i draw a distinction between pegging and some vibrator sexual ass play) is also the demonstration of the ultimate role and power reversal. She, with the help of some rubber, is able to take on the act/role that BIOLOGICALLY has been reserved to men of the species (insertion). There is some degree of irony to the fact that ....that once she provides herself the tool.....biologically men already have the "port" waiting for her to use for this purpose. LOL. It is one of the most base animalistic shows of power. We can always look at nature for easy answers. What's the first thing the new Lion that's taken charge of the pride or the new Head of the gorilla troop who is now in control does?????? Fucks each of the subordinate sex as a clear show of their respective roles. A sign of domination and who is in charge of whom.

      OK...JESUS....wow never in a MILIION years would I ever have thought I'd be "making a case" for the role and mental impact of Pegging.....you'll likely be surprised to know I'm speaking from a philosophical perspective.....it's never happened to me personally...lol.

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    3. That is what I meant. it is discipline rather than punishment although there is certainly a punishment aspect to it immediately after a spanking.Pegging is the ultimate expression of her authority. I have literally no experience with it in a purely erotic context but in a disciplinary context it leaves me submissive and obedient and is more powerful than spanking in controlling me
      Alan

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    4. I can totally see that....and as you said she is clearly thrilled by it.....has to be an exciting feeling of complete control for her doing that as a woman...

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    5. OH GOD how things have changed for me...never thought I'd be championing the merits of PEGGING on the internet....hell wasn't all that long ago I didn't know what the term MEANT...LOL

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    6. I agree totally with your description of pegging as the ultimate form of female doamination and the ultimate form of male submission. We use pegging in our relationship and that describes exactly how I feel during and after a pegging.

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    7. I wonder whether my wife might get more out of it now, given that in the last few years she has gotten much more into the FLR side of this and seems a lot more open to being the one in control sexually.

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    8. Pegging.....like anything else.....is sort of "in the eye (or anus) of the beholder". It can be the utmost humiliation......the worst punishment...or the greatest treat. It is strictly dependent on the couple and most particularly the attitude of the guy being penetrated. And just like intercourse.....it can be loving, tender, rough, hateful, etc.

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    9. Dan- I'm glad to hear confirmation from those who actually know first "hand" what I assumed any guy already petty much innately knew....there is no greater show of her Dominating or of your ultimate submission. So now that we have it out there....how "big a deal" do we think pegging is? Is it this huge psychologically deal for you AND wife? Is it not that big a deal, it's simply another step down this path of wife taking charge and demonstrating it in yet another way so not a huge thing?

      OK now this is a bit of a throw back to last weeks topic of asking you questions. Dan (or anyone) you still game? How something new like this is introduced into a couple depends on the dynamics of how that couple interacts. With something like this how would you do it? Would you sit down and have a serious conversation about it? Throw it out there casually in conversation at some point? What do you think her reaction would be to at some point finding a "present" (a nicely gift wrapped strap on) w a note attached? I haven't put any thought into this so it's a bit off the cuff but there has to be some clever word play you could come up with around the notion that.......since she has given you the greatest gift of at times assuming the responsibility of wearing the pants in the relationship you thought she now also deserved the right to have and use what goes in them????? (ok...that might be pretty bad?????)

      And to KDP's astute comment....who we kidding, yes clearly there can be a specific type of pleasure derived from it....it's a sensitive area and us guys have the added bonus of a prostate! So between the physical sensation coupled with the emotional impact of the act.....i'm not saying its something you'd want all the time but in the right moments it has to be quite the expereince.

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    10. Instead of me speculating, I'll throw it back to you. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to go buy her that nicely wrapped gift, and let us all know how it goes. :-)

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  8. The ear pull/twist/tug is very effective for quick correction....especially if done in front of others!

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    1. Another one I should have included in my list. Good one!

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  9. Since you are only asking about these things from a DD perspective, I have a pretty short list, but....

    mouth soap, weighted clips on the genitals, and clips being yanked off after each 'line' of a scolding......have been used at least once.

    We've done LOTS of other things, but they are usually in conjunction with a less-than-completely serious punishment.

    (My mother told me that as a girl, she had to kneel on rice.)

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    1. Hmm, the weighted clips seems like another one I hope to hell she doesn't want to explore!

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    3. OK sorry, I need to weigh in on 1 more...but promise this isn't going to be nearly as verbose!!!!

      Mouth soaping has been one of those things I'm truly conflicted over but also fascinated by the prospect of. I would GENUINELY HATE it, likely more than any other punishment. But it is one of the most dramatic correlations between the "punishment fits the crime". I know I curse too much even in-front of the kids and wife doesn't like it and has told me to stop. I bet that would actually do the trick! Also, It would be one of the most dramatic examples of her in that moment coming across "Motherly" because it is a punishment so clearly associated w (and would conjour up memories from my own childhood) a child's punishment. And another characteristic of it is it's a punishment that has to be administered FACE TO FACE, her holding your chin! AUGHHHHH

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    4. I have posted before that Bart hates mouth soaping more than any other punishment. I have tried to reduce his use of 4 letter expletives and a spanking interrupted by a trip to the bathroom for a mouth soaping is long remembered. I have made him hold the soap in his mouth while I strap him and if he cries out and drops the soap I start over . No rinsing or rubbing during corner time

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    5. Hi Sylvia, you have all convinced me to not even suggest mouth soaping to my wife.

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  10. Hi KD,
    My situation is similar to yours. We have done lots of things, but most of them not for serious punishment, but rather more for play. When it is real punishment, it seems to change everything, so I am not sure how my impressions of the many activities I listed would/will change after they are used in a serious punishment.

    -ZM

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  11. DAN
    This entry is part of a punishment that Anna has ordered me to approach as a confession of sorts that for some reason I find embarrassing even though none of you, to my knowledge, know me.
    1) Washing mouth with soap has happened whenever I use an obscene word while being spanked.
    The last time after spanking was over I had to leave soap in my mouth for corner time. Then was
    not allowed to rinse mouth for an hour.
    2) I am let me say more than a bit familiar with figging. At least once a month it has been used after
    a caning and left in for corner time. For corner time I have to stand with a slip of paper being held
    against the wall by only my nose. If it slips to the floor it begins again.
    3) I have also had a small plug inserted and been made to keep it in for dinner.

    p.s. Anna read the above and insists that I tell all that I confess the two things that
    are rewards for excellent behavior. Nipple clamps and recently a strapon. Those
    two things are not given often.
    peter

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    1. That "to my knowledge" qualifier is kind of interesting, right? I am confident that I don't know the "secret identity" of any of the commenters on here, but I do wonder a lot whether anyone I know personally is a reader of this blog.

      You all have persuaded me that mouth soaping sounds awful, and that even worse is combining it with corner time.

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  12. There are so many different types and brands of soaps out there. The way a Mason Pearson is seen as the gold standard in hairbrushes for spanking.....is there a specific soap that is the classic go to for mouth soaping aficionados???.

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  13. When I was a kid , 'Lifebuoy" soap tasted like your mouth was on fire.
    Doubt if they still make it , and if they do I'm pretty sure it tastes pretty mild.
    Of course you could always make your own soap...and pick your own hideous taste!

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  14. Joe2 here,

    My comments are tangential, so please ignore or delete if you think it is too off topic.

    Putting soap in your mouth: Please be careful. Some soaps have a lot of bad chemicals. I’m not going to say don’t do it, but it is the act that is important not the type of soap. I’m believe that cheap Ivory Soap, like your grandmother used, has very few chemicals and a low lye index.

    Cursing: I am a very simple person who works in a very rough industry. Cursing is normal, so I cursed. But being very simple, I cannot turn it off when around the wrong audience. I had kids at about the same time that I started having to interact with the head office. And while the head office may understand, it would reflect on what they thought of me (and my opinions) and my children deserve a good example. Additionally, I realized that in most situations I was being lazy- I would use a curse word when I could not find a good adjective or noun. So, I just started not using curse words. For the first few weeks it was almost comical, because I could not find the words I needed. But tone and inflection are more important than words. Within a few months, I was expressing myself better. And when I cannot find the right adjective, I do not use an adjective. What is funny is both my kids and my subordinates know that when I say, “this is not correct” they better listen and take corrective action.

    Aggressive driving: I used to be very reactive when driving. If I did not like the way a person was driving, my driving reflected that, e.g. cut me off and I will tail gate you. Well, I had a close-call that could have been a serious accident all because I was reacting to another driver’s action. So, what I have done is build a script for why the other person is doing it. For instance, the guy driving the speed limit in the fast lane has a diminished cognitive ability, so he is in the left lane so he does not have to react to on-ramps and the like. The guy that cut me off has to make an important meeting, so he has to drive very aggressively. It took some time (OK, I’m still working on it.), but I am a much better driver now. And why should I allow someone else ruin my day? I still haven’t found a good script for applying makeup while driving, but I’ll find it.

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    1. Cursing is definitely an issue for me, though not one that she has made any effort to correct. As for people who drive slowly in the fast lane, I totally agree that they have diminished cognitive ability . . .

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    2. Dan
      Cursing is a primary issue for me. We have two sons, still teens, I dont want them to think bad
      language is ok if you are a man. It isnt. ! Peter often will try to talk himself out of punishment if it is about nasty talk. We have a new rule if he even mentions letting it go this time it guarantees
      a much more intense punishment session.
      anna

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    3. Dan
      Cursing is a primary issue for me. We have two sons, still teens, I dont want them to think bad
      language is ok if you are a man. It isnt. ! Peter often will try to talk himself out of punishment if it is about nasty talk. We have a new rule if he even mentions letting it go this time it guarantees
      a much more intense punishment session.
      anna

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    4. Hi Anna. Our kids are older, and there are times I think they now have worse potty-mouths than I do. Which probably shows my wife should have implemented your rule before it was too late.

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  15. I know this falls on the mild end of the spectrum, but it is nonetheless effective in helping to maintain the bedroom inequity that my wife has established. A few months ago, she began insisting that I wear a condom on those occasions when she was willing to have intercourse with me after a paddling. She wanted to keep reminding me of her sexual power over me, and, of course, she knew that I was in no position to even vaguely protest!
    Soon after, my wife discovered that she really liked having me wear a condom because she enjoyed not having any mess to deal with after sex. As a result, she now requires me to wear a condom for all sexual encounters, even for handjobs. We both view it now as an extra way to keep me humble and obedient to her. But be careful with this. On the one hand, it's another special thing that makes me excited because my wife is exerting her power, but, on the other hand, sometimes I really miss the feeling of sex without a condom. For me, having a spanking wife has meant a lot of compromises in the bedroom, all of them in the name of discipline.

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  16. When my wife is really angry, she orders me to "put it on", what means putting on chastity cage. This is cery unpleasant and I usually really would rather be caned or paddled than wear it.

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