Saturday, December 23, 2017

Merry Christmas

Christmas is a season not of rejoicing but of reflection.  - Winston Churchill

Is it just me, or has 2017 seemed like a total meat grinder of a year?  Politics.  Hurricanes.  Politics that feel like a never-ending hurricane . . .

Even so, as I reflect on the year that is about to pass, I give thanks for a few simple things.  All my immediate family made it through the year in one piece, as did most of our extended family.  With one exception, most of our family and the important people in our lives are healthy.  None of our close friends or family suffered health or financial calamities.

I realize these are all low bars, and yet they aren't. I was reminded of that a few days ago, when I was having a few medical tests run (nothing serious -- it just kind of sucks getting old, though that's way better than the only other alternative).  After checking in, a nurse took me to an examination room, and left the door ajar.  As I was sitting there waiting for the doctor to come in, I overheard a conversation between two of the nurses.  One told the other that she was feeling emotional and had seen three patients that day who  had almost made her cry.  She said the last had been an old woman who was in bad health and was there to have some x-rays taken after a fall.  The old woman had told the nurse that she hoped she would die before the holidays were over and, in fact, really hoped she would pass that night.  She said that she was 89 years old, in chronic pain, and didn't have friends or family to take care of her.  In fact, she didn't even have anyone to take her home after her tests. As I listened, I had a hard time holding back my own tears, and the conversation stuck with me as I left, and is obviously still on my mind several days later.

So, as we all run around buying those last minute gifts, let's all think a little about what a blessing it is to have people in our lives to buy those gifts for.  And, maybe do something nice for a stranger who may not be as lucky. I remember last year around this time I pulled up to the drive-through window at Starbucks and started to pay for my coffee, only to be told that the woman in the car ahead of me had already paid for it.  I'm going to spend the next few days looking for opportunities to do little things like that.

We are going to be taking a vacation until after the New Year, and my current plan is not to post during that period, though I could get bored and change my mind.  In the meantime, I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year.




20 comments:

  1. Oh Dan, you are very sweet. I hope you have a lovely Christmas. I ahve been delivering presents in secret today tot he carers at my parents in law care home. they are not supposed to have gifts so I do it in secret, I have left them with neighbours.! It is bad that the oldies vcan't show appreciation to these poorly paid workers who take care of their every need. Merrry Christmas to you and yours
    love Jan, xx

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  2. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
    Thanks for the site, Dan!
    And may all my disciplined hubby comrades 'enjoy' their wives attention in the new year!
    CrimsonKing

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  3. Merry Christmas and Very fulfilling New Year to you Dan (et al). THANK YOU for your gift of time and effort providing all of us this wonderful community here. Enjoy your holiday...and here’s to hoping you make a mistake and are severely held to account for it during your time away ....lol.

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    1. Very likely. I've decided that, while I could try to finish out 2017 on a responsible, well-behaved note . . . who am I kidding?

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  4. I hope you had a lovely Christmas, and that the days leading up to the New Year are pleasant and stress free.

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  5. Dan, I hope you had a good Christmas. We have had more conversations these last few days about what constitutes a violation of oo our understanding and a subsequent punishment. . While the holidays are generally a happy time of year there can be quite a bit of stress. As we were all gathered together to open gifts Bart was quite moody even a bit snarky. He made some biting comments about my gift giving being too extravagant . I tried to make light of it for the family’s sake but he stubbornly persisted . I asked him to help me in the kitchen and warned him that he was in for it. He tried to say I was misunderstanding his comments and he returned to the living room with more comments. When our kids went home I was pretty upset. Our usual scenario when I have decided to punish is for him to go wait for me in our bedroom . This time I confronted him in the family room with my strap . Bart had had a few drinks and was very surprised to see me quiet but upset with strap in hand. He protested which is very unusual and for the first time in many years we were yelling at each other . The pressures of the holiday were effecting both of us. I told him he had had too much to drink and had really but a damper on the Christmas gift exchange . When we both calmed down he asked if we could just forget this and move on. I told him we could forget it after I finished with the strapping I felt he needed. I was angrier and more frustrated than I had been in years. Bart will be feeling the effects into the new year.

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    1. Hi Sylvia. That's unfortunate. I wish I could say I had not been guilty of bad holiday conduct in the past, but it wouldn't be true. The combination of too much alcohol and too much time with other people can make me incredibly surly. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on one's perspective), my wife shares your method of addressing the problem.

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    2. Dan
      There must have been an epidemic of BHB (bad husband behavior). He will be enjoying the 12 days after Christmas and will be my way or reminding him that next time it will be 24 days in a row. Happy New Year and BEHAVE!
      anna

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  6. A belated Merry Christmas and an early Happy New Year to you, Dan. Thank you for all you do throughout the year maintaining the blog and keeping it generally on-topic. I really appreciate having it as a resource, and look at least daily to see if there are any new comments.

    Yesterday, I got to experience a first, in that I was spanked to tears for the first time ever, at least as an adult. This has been a topic of endless (and perhaps morbid?) fascination for me, to say the least, and I really couldn't believe that it happened. The punishment was for several prolonged bouts of bad attitude. My wife has been under huge amounts of stress in recent months due to parental health issues, and as she was administering the punishment, I just felt so incredibly bad when I thought of how unhelpful my attitude has been, and how rather than supporting her I was making things more difficult. This guilt, combined with a delrin cane (which is basically just horrible), and in the diaper position (which makes everything so much worse), finally broke down that barrier that I have never really been able to cross before. I kind of have a feeling that once the dam has broken, it will probably be more easily breached in the future. Also, my wife is just getting incredibly good at this whole thing, plus she really enjoys it. She doesn't enjoy administering these real punishments at the time, but later as she reflects upon it, it leaves her pretty excited. Anyway, I guess the coming year promises to be most interesting!

    -ZM

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    1. ZM, as someone who shares the morbid and fascination but has never gotten over that threshold, I genuinely congratulate you! I'm sure it was hard at the time, but I do totally get the fascination, including the genuine fear and resistance combined with the genuine desire to be taken to that state. Thanks for sharing!

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    2. Hi Dan,
      Yes it happens more frequently after a "breakthrough". Having your wife encourage crying as mine does also helps. But it takes that combination of real regret ( shame , really) plus a punishment that just goes on and on until you just give in to it
      Alan

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    3. Hi Alan,
      Mine had pretty much decided beforehand that tears were going to happen, and she continued until they did. Afterwards she said she would have liked to go a bit longer, but it was hard to see me crying. She decided that next time, she go until she decides it has been enough and then will add a certain number of additional strokes, probably by rolling two dice (resulting in 2-12 additional) just to make sure she didn't under-punish and to give fate a bit of say in the matter.

      I agree that it was mostly driven by guilt, combined with a non-relenting spanking. I don't think she punished harder than usual, but certainly longer, and plus she had said before that the next punishment would certainly result in tears, so I think she set the stage for it and that helped me to get into the proper state of mind.

      Anyway, the tears took it to a whole new level of "real" feeling for us.

      -ZM

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    4. Hi ZM,
      My wife doesn't always stop with tears but she likes them as a sign she has made her point.Tears are very cathartic for me but still elusive unless the right conditions occur. Also you are very right about the length of the spanking mattering more than the severity. I was once told by a dominant woman she could bring tears just by hand spanking if she kept him over her lap for an hour or more. I am skeptical about this but it does fit in with the notion that severe punishment is not necessarily the best way to get tears
      Alan

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    5. That combination -- real guilt and a very long spanking -- is something we don't seem quite able to pull off in tandem. I need to work on the guilt part and internalizing the reason for the punishment more, but to cut myself a little slack, punishments often happen well after the event, such that even if I was felling guilty right after I did it, those feelings tend to dissipate by the time of the spanking. I also have told her that she probably does need to go longer if she really wants tears, but she often stops because my butt starts looking too bad. I think the solution for that is to lay off of some of the wooden instruments entirely and, instead, just give a really, really long strapping with a leather strap.

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  7. Dan, although we post with anonymity reading in a public forum about my getting spankef is still embarrassing. While we have been engaged in domestic discipline for decades this kind of forum is still new for us. Many of the posts touch on things we have discussed but never have acted out such as public warnings or spankings others might know about.Sylvia’s last posting was most humiliating as I was grumpy and a drag during the Christmas gift exchange. When she confronted me and began the scolding the which always proceeds a spanking I was really resistant . After one of most intense arguments in years, and with her telling me I was making things worse, I complied . I was pleading my case until the first crack of her strap. Even after many many strappings and paddlings I was prepared for the reality of her determination to leave an impression .i was hard pressed to sit without wincing for days to a point where our daughter asked if I was alright. Just as I was feeling back to normal, today she said before we head out tonight that she was going to give me something to think about and as I write this at her insistence I and again black and blue. Your forum has been the source of much discussion and a source of support for Sylvia that has given her some new ideas. Happy New Year!

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    1. Unfortunately for you, there are only a few couples on this forum who are both engaged and active, leaving you one of the few whose misadventures may be reported. I am also sorry for whatever role I am playing with respect to your increasingly sore ass. :-) Ironically for someone running such a discussion place, my own wife seldom visits here at all.

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