The Club - Meeting 485 - Maintenance Spankings, and Getting Back on Track (cont.)

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." -- Benjamin Franklin

 

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led (FLR) relationships.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to our female readers to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We miss having you around.

 

I hope you all had a good week.  I’m still confronting the reality of the extent to which our summer and fall will, once some pre-approvals are wrapped up (gotta love managed care), come to a screeching halt. But, I’m also trying to keep it in perspective.

 

 

Thanks to all of you who participated in last week’s topic. I feel like there was a robust discussion around age and its influence on how we approach domestic discipline.  But, did we really do justice to Norton’s suggested topic, which was:

 

Another topic that we could explore is how to get things back on track after taking a break from spanking. We are dealing with that now, and in some ways, it feels like we are starting over.

 

If folks have more to contribute on that one, I would be interested in hearing it.  Some did say they had not experienced a substantial break from DD but, for those who have, what did you do to get back on track? Were there specific actions you took? Did you, as the recipient, need to ask for a spanking? Or, did you, as the wife, finally get fed up with unaddressed bad behavior?  Let’s please continue that discussion this week.

 

Relatedly, a few weeks ago, Antonio suggested this topic:

 

"Another topic we have only touched on briefly is maintenance discipline. We are finishing a nine day shakedown cruise in our new RV. For a number of reasons this had the potential to be quite stressful for me. During this entire trip, every morning Domino has made me take a short but intense maintenance spanking while reminding me to be aware of my attitude through the coming day, it has worked wonders for keeping my stress level low and helping us both enjoy our trip. Wondering if others have used or experienced this technique to head off trouble? I am ready to be home and have the maintenance sessions end though."

 

I actually don’t agree that we’ve touched on maintenance spankings only briefly, as we’ve devoted several full topics to it over the years, most recently about a year and a half ago.  But, while that isn’t all that long ago, I’m fine with addressing it again.

 

I do see the topic as somewhat related to Norton’s “getting back on track” topic, which is why I’m suggesting we cover both here this week.  The linkage between the two was illustrated by one of Al’s comments, referring back to one of J’s comments:

“>enables habits to be maintained<.

 

We came across this bit of advice in the old DWC forum, and made weekly maintenance spankings a part of our DWC lifestyle - for the purpose of maintaining the "spanking habit" and "disciplinary mentality" in our marriage.

 

In following forums such as this for decades, I have observed that it is not uncommon for the spanking habit to simply fade away due to the business and pressure of career and family life - unless there is a conscious effort to maintain it.”

 

I replied as follows:

 

I’ve always resisted the idea of maintenance spankings, and Anne has never been interested in them either. But, now that we seem to be in another lull, I wonder whether I do need to seriously reevaluate. I do think that if we could get more diligent about it, the weekly check-ins we were doing for a while would be a better vehicle for us, because they would keep the dynamic going but spankings would still be tied to misbehavior or lack of progress on goals, chores, etc.

 

My primary issue with maintenance spankings was basically the same as my concern about preventive spankings, i.e. was it really discipline if it didn’t involve punishing a particular action or failure.  I always wondered whether it was just an excuse for someone with a spanking fetish to get spanked more often.

 

I also used to see “maintenance” spankings as distinct from “preventative” spankings, but I now think the two can blur into each other.  For example, I probably would have categorized Mario’s daily spankings while on the RV trip as more “preventative” than maintenance. But, I now see some very obvious overlaps between the two.  To extent there is a clear distinction between the two, maybe it is the extent to which the spanking is tied to a discreet event, i.e. getting spanked before a party is preventative?  

 

The extent to which these all blend together was illustrated on one of the previous times we’ve addressed this topic. One of our past commenters “Liz” had this to say about what some here call maintenance, though she preferred another term:

 

“We do weekly spankings whether or not there have been any transgressions, but we don't call them maintenance. We consider them “motivational”: Art gets paddled every Monday morning to remind him to keep his arrogance to a minimum. I do believe in DD that is proactive in addition to reactive. Maybe that's what some couples mean by maintenance, but I don't care for the term. It sounds weird to me. I'm not his maintenance department. But yes, I like restricting DD to one day a week so it is not a dominating thing in our lives.”

 

Her husband Art offered this:

 

“I also have come to believe in preventive DD. Liz paddles me every Monday morning as a reminder to curb my arrogance. She spanks hard enough that sitting is uncomfortable for 2-3 days and I can even feel it as I walk. That discomfort serves as a constant reminder to be humble and keep my mouth shut when I want to make sarcastic comments. As the discomfort fades, so does my humility. All of my recent incidents of arrogance have come toward the end of the week.”

 

 Liz and Art’s comments show a blending of the concepts of prevention, maintenance, and punishment.  Liz’s references to “proactive” and “reactive” were echoed by Danielle, who liked the term “management”:

 

“If spanking is viewed purely as punishment, preventative spanking doesn’t make sense. But I view it as “behavior management,” rather than just punishment. I have used it in a specific context with my husband in the past. The men in my husband’s extended family have epic political arguments during family dinners. I have always found that annoying, especially when my husband gets involved, which he often does...or rather used to. Therefore, I have, on a couple of occasions, spanked him before going to a family dinner to heighten his consciousness of the behavior I expect of him. I also couple the preventative spanking with the implied threat that if I have to intervene in an argument during dinner, I just might "forget myself" and remind him of the consequences of misbehavior at the dinner table. I have found that it works. That’s the important thing to me.”

 

Liz also had an issue with frequency and the need to repeatedly discipline deeply rooted, ongoing habits.  Her husband’s issue was arrogance, which he apparently displayed more or less daily when she first took up the paddle after their marriage hit a very rocky place thanks to his behavior.  She did not want DD to dominate their lives and was unwilling to spank only for particular contemporaneous acts of arrogance, as that would entail spanking him nearly every day.  For her, spanking him once a week was both a kind of “catch up” covering all the issues during the week (including arrogance at work, which she wouldn’t necessarily learn about) and also a reminder for the following week.

 

 

Although I’ve struggled with whether pre-scheduled spankings are really disciplinary, I probably could get on board with them as a “catch up.” The reality is, it’s seldom a week goes by that there hasn’t been some transgression going unaddressed even though I wondered whether she would spank me for it.

 

For me, I still want there to be some connection between the particular spanking and the particular behavior. But, I saw this meme recently that I thought laid out a somewhat intriguing approach.

 

 

I liked it because, while the wife was imposing a pre-scheduled spanking routine, the timing and severity would adjust depending on the effect of the maintenance spankings on his behavior.  In the past, I've toyed with the idea of having some kind of a system in place where there would be a presumption of being spanked weekly but having the ability to earn my way out of it with good behavior.

 

Of course, maintenance might have a “role affirmation” function that is entirely separate from disciplinary or preventative rationales. Power exchange relationships like DD and FLR may require undoing a lot of deeply entrenched power dynamics and hierarchies.  If a woman was raised in a patriarchal environment, or if her marriage was itself an example of such an environment in the past she may need to periodically remind herself of her authority. 

 

Liz summed up all these various roles for maintenance and preventative spankings nicely in this single quote:

 

“I'm not sure if there has been a Monday morning when there was NOTHING to punish Art for. So we start with that. Then we move on to the upcoming week, though there really is no noticeable transition. On many Mondays nowadays there are more swats about the upcoming week than there were for the past week. To me that is a sign that our DD is working because he had a good week last week. But he admits that he needs a paddling to remind him to keep it up. If he completely stopped being arrogant, maybe the reminders would stop. But that's all speculative since his arrogance is unlikely to go away completely. I think the routine we have established of paddling him every Monday has been good for Art. He knows what to expect. And it is good for me too, to remind myself of the authority I now hold in our marriage. I don't have to and won't accept his arrogance anymore. Maybe we both need weekly reminders of that!”

 

How about you?  Do you practice preventative and/or maintenance spankings? What role do they serve?  Is their purpose to prevent bad behavior with a periodic reminder of what will happen, or is the purpose totally separate from deterring bad behavior?  Is there a pre-set schedule, like weekly on a particular day? 

 

How about severity? Is a maintenance spanking less severe than a punishment spanking?  Is the duration shorter? Or, are the timing, severity or duration flexible and variable based on his recent behavior? 

 

I hope you have a good week.

The Club - Meeting 484 - Aging, Injuries, Interruptions, and Getting Back on Track

“Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.” - Tom Stoppard

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led (FLR) relationships.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to our female readers to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We miss having you around.

 

I hope you all had a good week.  Ours was . . . well . . . honestly, kind of shitty.  And, the nature of the shittiness portends a difficult second half of the year and the strong possibility of getting WAY off track with respect to the DD and FLR aspects of our relationship.

 

A couple of weeks ago, I alluded to the fact that I was having trouble recovering from a recent motorcycle adventure and that Anne was also struggling with an injury.

 

Without going into detail, I banged myself up pretty good while on one of my recent motorcycle adventures.  A month later, it’s still a problem. I saw an orthopedist, and it was pretty clear he thinks I’ve torn something.  I have a definitive imaging test scheduled for next week.  If it does turn out I need surgery to repair the damage, I’ve had the same kind of surgery before and, frankly, it pretty much sucked.

 

It's really irritating and demoralizing.  I’ve talked about how last year I felt like I let myself get really stagnant and slipped on all sorts of measures around fitness, activity levels, and adventuring in early retirement.  I’ve been feeling like I was making up a lot of ground this year. 

 

 

Now, instead, of living retirement like the above meme, I’m likely going to be limping into the new year, with some substantial restrictions on physical activities lasting well into next year.

 

Meanwhile, Anne’s situation is even worse and entails a really crappy year-end for both of us, particularly for her.  We knew there was a substantial chance that her injury could require surgery, but we thought it likely would be minor. Nope.  Turns out her problem is way worse than mine and likely will require a very serious surgery with an equally serious recovery period.  So, instead of engaging in some joint adventuring in the RV over the rest of the summer and into the fall, we’re likely to both be convalescing, in her case with some very serious mobility restrictions that will ensure I’m acting as chauffeur and maid for months.

 

With all that venting off my chest, it seemed like a natural segue into a topic Norton suggested a few weeks ago, namely:

 

“Another topic that we could explore is how to get things back on track after taking a break from spanking. We are dealing with that now, and in some ways, it feels like we are starting over.”

 

Anne and I had already been experiencing a bit of a lull ourselves, and I had been mulling over how to get us back on track.  So, the topic is timely for me and I am interested in what others have done after experiencing a significant break or hiatus.

 

I’m also curious about how, for those of you who aren’t getting any younger, the aging process has affected your Domestic Discipline and FLR relationships.

 

For the most part, I feel like aging has been a good thing for us on all sorts of levels, including but not limited to DD.

 

In some ways, the older demographic we are in is more consistent with the thing I’ve had for older women, going back to at least high school.  Anne looks a lot younger than any of the “older spanker” pics I have collected and posted here, but I continue to experience a certain vibe from older, authoritative women that I just don’t experience from younger ones.

 

 

I also feel like Anne’s confidence and openness about her role have grown by leaps and bounds as we moved into the post-kids, post-retirement phase of our relationship.

 

She hasn’t reached KOJ’s wife’s level of openness (see previous posts describing commenter KOJ’s wife spanking him at a party within earshot of guests), but she has started being very cavalier about spanking me in broad daylight, with the shades open, where neighbors could at least theoretically see in.  That would not have happened when she was younger and much more concerned with reputational ramifications at work and among our social set. If I bought her a cup like this today, I'm not sure that she wouldn't be pretty comfortable using it openly (though she doesn't drink coffee):

 

It's also almost certainly the case that she spanks as hard or harder than she did when 20 years younger.  I think it’s also true that she isn’t nearly as concerned about my reaction to punishments as she might have been in her younger days.  She’s far more comfortable exercising her authority without letting concerns about my reaction paralyzing her or causing her very much angst or self-doubt.  She carries herself differently than she did 20 years ago when she's in disciplinarian mode, and that's a good look on her:

Yet, it’s also true that we seem to have become more injury-prone as we’ve gotten into our 50s. If I do need surgery for this current injury, I will have only one limb that doesn’t have some artificial parts.  And, looking back at past posts, it was only about a year and a half ago that I posted a topic about “surrogates” in connection with another injury Anne had suffered that might result in a lengthy hiatus from her DD role.  It has me thinking about that issue, and how much more consistent and flexible things might be if we had something like the real DWC, in which men could be and were sent to other women in the group for discipline when needed.

It could even be in Anne's presence.  When I look at my vast collection of "witness"-tagged spanking art (it's probably the biggest category I have, demonstrating how prevalent that fantasy must be), it's easy to imagine some of them as involving one wife giving another a helping hand (pun intended).

 

One thing that is different this time around is Anne’s injury is not to her hand or arm. So, it’s theoretically possible that after a recovery period of a few weeks, we can get back on track, though I’m guessing the OTK position may be out for a while.  Our recent discussions about furniture and implements turned out to be timely, as I’m guessing it may be time for her to explore the cane, and the strap and large paddle might be seeing more use, with me draped over the bed or bent over a chair.

 

How about you?  Have you experienced long breaks in the DD part of your relationship, whether from injury, illness, or just the various impediments “real life” tends to present?  Or, maybe you just fell out of the habit. If so, how did you get back on track?

 

Has aging played a part in any of those breaks?  What other aspects of your DD relationship has the aging process played in your DD, for better or worse?

 

Have a great week.

 

 

The Club - Meeting 483 - Who is really in control? Safewards and, Conversely, Restraints?

“A kite needs to be tied down in order to fly. I learned how important restrictions can sometimes be in order to experience freedom.” - Damien Rice

 

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led (FLR) relationships.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to our female readers to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We miss having you around.

 

In that vein, welcome to MC and AE, Disciplinary Wives who over the last week or two have decided to join in our discussions.  Welcome! 

I hope you all had a good week.  This summer has been all about ramping up my life-long motorcycle fetish, and this week was no exception.  I won’t go into the details, but I ended up calling it quits a day early, which is why I am able to get around to posting this weekend.  I felt like I needed a breather.  And, I'm still feeling the effects of an injury from my other recent adventure trip and strongly suspect I have a surgery in my near future.  Oh well.  . . .  Motorcycles may not be exactly safe, but I can think of more dangerous pursuits at this age.

 

Any way, on to this week's topic. It's a two-parter.  As you'll see below, the second part was suggested by a couple of reader comments, including one from the newly joined MC.  But, I didn't have a lot of material with which to turn it into a full post, and these to parts seem to me to fit together naturally.  

 

The first part is basically a verbatim re-posting of a topic from five years ago.

 

That topic is “safewords.”  Here is how an urban dictionary entry describes it: “In BDSM, begging to stop increases pleasure and reality. A safeword is used to actually mean "stop", since screams for stopping aren't sincere. The safeword is usually a normal word, like "pink", "banana", or "door" and is determined before starting play.”

 

 

While safewords may seem like a pretty straightforward topic, unlike in the BDSM context where they seem to be treated as more or less mandatory, in DD there are some layers to peel back.

 

 “Consent,” "consensual non-consent," and true non-consent have been on my mind a lot lately.  I’ve always known that part of what initially attracted me to DD was the prospect of losing control to someone or, more accurately, having control taken away from me. 

 

When I discovered the Disciplinary Wives Club, the stories that appealed to me most were those in which the corporal punishment regimen was imposed by the wife, as opposed to initiated at the husband’s request.

 

Similarly, stories in which a spanking goes on way past the husband’s self-perceived limits were and are morbidly attractive to me. 

 

Being spanked when I really, truly do not want to be has always been part of the perverse appeal Domestic Discipline has for me.  Same with being taken way past the point of mere discomfort, to the point that it feels like I simply cannot take anymore.  Yet, take it I must.

 

 

Safewords are not part of our relationship and never have been. To me, they are inconsistent with my need for disciplinary spankings to be as “real” as we, as consenting adults, can contrive.

 

With a safeword, I would remain in control, and that is the exact opposite of what I want.  For us, spanking is all about accountability, consequences, punishment, and payback.  Giving me the ability to shorten the duration of a spanking or lessen its severity by simply uttering an agreed-upon word or phrase seems inconsistent with those motivations. This cartoon from KD Pierre illustrates it nicely.

 

For us, the whole point of DD is putting my butt's fate in her hands, letting her decide when enough is enough, and making sure that some punishments are way more than I want to repeat. 

 

Now, that doesn’t mean a spanking should ever be pushed to a place where it is unsafe or risks causing real injury.  But, for us, a safeword isn’t necessary even in that context.   

 

 

We have been married for a third of a century. We’ve been doing Domestic Discipline for almost 20 years.  We know each other’s actions and reactions so well, if I felt something was really wrong, I’d just say so.  There is no doubt in my mind that she would pause and, if something was wrong, stop the spanking.

 

Also don’t tend to verbalize a lot during spankings, at least not with words.  I do plenty of grunting, groaning and yelping, but I don’t beg her to stop.  Now, we’ve talked a bit about me vocalizing more, and maybe if we did a safeword would minimize confusion. On the other hand, I feel like I can accomplish the same thing simply no not saying “Stop, something is wrong!”   

 

What do you think?  Yes or no on safe words?  Are there some situations (medical emergency, real injury, etc.) where it is appropriate but others (the spanking just hurts a lot) where it is just trying to avoid the punishment itself and should not be allowed?  If you do use one, care to share what it is?

 

Safewords are all about empowering the recipient to end a spanking on their terms.  Last week, a couple of comments related to the converse, i.e. doing something to control a spanking recipient who may be struggling to take what he knows he is due.

 

 

In discussing some modifications he made to a dining table, Adek had the following topic suggestion:

 

“We have solid oak dining table with very chunky legs. I made some minor modifications (a couple of eye hooks hidden under the table top) as the biggest issue with me is moving when receiving a spanking. The idea was that with legs secured at the knees to the table legs and hands cuffed and secured to the eye hooks this would prevent moving. I’m also fascinated by the description here where a the woman is able to give the larger man a severe spanking despite apparent resistance. https://www.spankinglife.com/how-i-spank-my-husband. I think restraints and restraining are very interesting as removing the husband’s ability to resist for me would seem very humbling and step up the realism of a punishment.

 

Later in the week, MC described her preferred spanking furniture set up:

 

I tend to use a backless wooden barstool. I can drape my husband over it in either direction, and he can hold onto the cross bars to support himself. I have a long belt that can go around him and the seat to hold him in place, but I only use it occasionally. For our respective heights, it works well, as his bottom is stable and I have room for a good swing.

 

Late this week, AE also brought up restraints, noting that she and her husband do not use them, as she expects him to hold still and cooperate without them.

 

To me, using restraints to immobilize the spankee is the converse of using a safeword.  Restraints emphasize that the spankee is not in control and does not get to get up or thrash around in a physical declaration that he has had enough.

 

 

Yet, even though I do crave being taken outside of my comfort zone, restraints aren’t a part of our DD practice.

 

We did experiment with them a few times. I bought some cuffs that attached to a strap and a small bar that could be used to secure the cuffs to the top or bottom of a door.  When the kids were young, we would often conduct discipline sessions in the basement, after they were bed.  There was a large storage closet that was accessed through a door in the basement bathroom, which provided a double layer of security and sound-proofing.  We experimented with draping me over a small foot stool, binding my hands in front of me with the cuffs and securing them to the underside of the door using the attached strap and bar. 

 

Given that it did render me pretty helpless, I thought it would add to the sense of being completely under her control, subject to whatever severity and length of spanking she chose to deliver, whether I agreed with it or not.

 

For whatever reason, it didn’t have the anticipated psychological impact.  Perhaps my lack of emotional reaction is rooted in the same dynamic that has always led me to reject safewords:  No matter how hard the spanking, I’ve never tried to resist by thrashing around to get out of position.

 

Now, if I did, I would want her to solve that in some concrete way, perhaps something like the belt MC sometimes uses to secure her husband to the bar stool.

 

But, I don’t think we would use something like the cuffs again.  Over the last couple of years, we’ve simplified the whole spanking “ritual” a lot and, as I explained last week, I think that’s been a good thing in that it has encouraged consistency and frequency. Cuffs and elaborate restraints are a complication I don’t think either of us would really want.

 

 And, of course, there is nothing that says being restrained requires a piece of equipment.  While Anne has never actually used it with me, I find the whole “arm behind the back” thing perversely attractive.

 

Perhaps augmented with a leg-lock.  

 

 

Or, for those who have experienced or fantasized about witnesses, perhaps those witnesses could have a more active role in securing cooperation? (I realize that's probably not quite the scenario depicted in this drawing, but I like it a lot and wanted an excuse to use it.)

How about you?  Have you ever been tied down or restrained during a spanking or restrained your partner, whether with implements like straps, belts or ropes  or using body positioning like an arm or leg lock?  Are restraints--implements or bodily--part of your usual routine or reserved for certain occasions, such as when a spanking is going to be especially severe or the recipient is already sore from a previous session?

Does the recipient have a strong emotional or psychological response to being restrained? Does it make the spanker feel more powerful or in control?

 

Have a good week.

The Club - Meeting 482 - Pervertable Furniture Pieces and Spanking Rituals

“Purification and redemption are such recurrent themes in ritual because there is a clear and ubiquitous need for them: we all do regrettable things as a result of our own circumstances, and new rituals are frequently invented in response to new circumstances.” ― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

 

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led (FLR) relationships.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to our female readers to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We miss having you around.

 

I hope you all had a great week.  Mine was pretty sedate, but I’m having a hard time bouncing back and recovering from my recent adventure trip.  Anne’s also working through an annoying injury. It feels like we’re both kind of limping our way through the summer.  This getting old thing isn’t for sissies.

 

I thought the post on our respective ideas about the “ideal” domestic discipline or FLR arrangement might generate a little more interest, but apparently many of our readers are as distracted with summer activities as I have been.  But, thank you to those who did participate.  A couple of common themes—neither of which I found surprising—is most of our participants’ “ideal” seems to include a high degree of consistency coupled with a high degree of initiative/control on our wives’ part. In other words, our ideal seems to be a wife who is consistent and strict and who initiates that strictness instead of responding to our prompting/pestering. 

 

I was also heartened that multiple emphasized that the few “tweaks” they might like to experience did not mean that they were not highly satisfied with their current DD relationship and are, instead, very grateful for their wife’s willingness to take part in it.

 

For this week, I’m once again not getting a lot of inspiration. And, it doesn’t seem like many of our regulars are paying attention right now anyway. So, I thought I’d follow up on a topic suggestion that may or may not add up to a full topic.  Several weeks ago, MW made this suggestion.

 

“This might not deserve a whole topic, but: upgrading the spanking-compatible furniture is surprisingly tricky! First, it has to look innocent and work with the room. Second, it has to fit a large man draped over it nicely. How exactly do you test this? Third, what do husband and wife each want from the positions and moods encouraged by the furniture?”

 

Al added:

 

"There are some interesting ideas here. Combining a spanking furniture topic with a spanking ritual topic might contain enough discussion points for a good week of discussion - they seem to go together. . . .”

 

So, let’s go with those.

 

We’ve never seemed to have much trouble adapting our existing furniture for spanking purposes.  At one time or another, I’ve been spanked laying over her lap on a sofa, over the arm of a sofa, over the back of sofa, propped up on pillows on a bed, bent over a bed, over a footstool, and even draped over a large exercise ball.

 

 

For most of our DD relationship, we were not doing OTK. That changed over the last couple of years, to the point that it’s now our preferred position.  When we’re at home, virtually every spanking is with her seated on a large ottoman that is at the foot of our bed.  Kind of like this one. 

 

Before we started using it for OTK, we would place a thick, solid meditation cushion on top of the ottoman, and I would drape myself over them. She would stand over me with her preferred instrument, and strike downward.  These days, she sits on the ottoman, and I drape myself across her lap.

 

 

Other common furniture items have their upsides and downsides. The arms of a sofa are generally relatively comfortable for longer sessions and at the right height for a paddle or cane.

 

The back of a sofa also works well, though its height can be (a) an advantage in that it may stretch the muscles taut, resulting in a harsher spanking; or (b) a disadvantage if it’s just too high to be manageable. Also, with a sofa you may be limited by its position in the room and, of course, they tend to be located in more publicly accessible parts of the house.

 

 The bed is a very flexible piece of spank-friendly furniture.  In the early days, I received many strappings while laying on the bed, with pillows elevating my ass.  But, it required a lot of movement on her part, walking around from one side of the bed to the other, to ensure equal treatment of both cheeks.  And, since we have a king-size bed, she sometimes had to reach a bit or I had to move around more. 

 

More generally, it wasn’t a position either of us seemed to like. I felt like the bounciness of the bed absorbed or dissipated too much of the force, and I had to have my head to one side or the other in order to breathe.  We still use it occasionally, most often when we are away and there is not another good alternative, and then usually with her sitting on the bed and me over her lap.

 

 

There are also stools in any variety of heights.   

 

 

Although I have pictures and drawings of the spanker sitting on a stool, they don’t look very stable and would seem to be better for draping the spankee over than as an OTK-friendly piece.

 

 

Of course, one of the most iconic pieces of spank-friendly furniture is the common kitchen chair.  However, in all these years, I’m not sure we’ve ever used one for that purpose.  No matter how traditional, it always seemed like a fairly awkward piece for OTK.  

 

And, I’m not a very tall guy, which made draping myself over the back a big challenge, though it obviously depends on the type of chair and the size of the man.

 

 

I do see how it could be a very useful as a means of bracing oneself during a paddling.

 

 

And, of course, one thing I have to give to the common chair is the shock and intimidation factor if you come home and find one positioned suggestively in the middle of the living room. Placing an implement on it seems almost superfluous.

 

 

How about you?  What items of furniture have you adapted for spanking purposes? Have you ever shopped for a piece of furniture with its spanking potential in mind? How did you go about evaluating its spank-friendliness while in the store?

 

Regarding Al’s suggestion to explore spanking rituals, please describe any rituals you and your partner follow immediately before, during, or after a spanking.  

 

 

I’m not going to go into a lot of detail around ours, as I’ve referred to bits and pieces of it so many times.  Instead, I’ll make the more general point that over the years, we’ve reduced or eliminated much of the ritual, and I think we’re both glad.  It sometimes felt like spankings were a big event with dedicated locations, multiple instruments, multiple changes in position, etc.  I think it subtly influenced Anne’s consistency in a negative way, by making each one feel like an elaborate and somewhat laborious, time-consuming affair.  I get the sense that we both feel it’s become much more manageable now that we’ve simplified things down to OTK, the ottoman, and a couple of tools, for the vast majority of spankings.

 

I hope you all have a great week.