Hi all. I hope you had a great week. Mine was maybe slightly better than the last three, though it is slow-going.
I’m going to do something a little different this week. For some reason, I’ve recently gotten a lot of inquiries about the DWC manuals/pamphlets that I quote here from time to time. For those who don’t know, the original DWC website had a Store function, where people could buy DWC-branded spanking implement and download videos and “how to” manuals/pamphlets on various topics. Unfortunately, after the DWC’s original domain name registration lapsed and they had to start up again at a new web address, the Store functionality didn’t return.
Over the years, I’ve gathered .pdf versions of most of the pamphlets from various sources. But, most of them had copy protection, which disabled cut and paste functions, thereby preventing simply copying the content into a form I could post.
A few years ago, Aunt Kay’s husband, “Jerry”, sent me a “care package” with a bunch of computer disks (including old 3.5” hard disks that I had to buy an external drive to open – the things are ancient), CDs and DVDs. Unfortunately, none of them had soft copies of the DWC pamphlets.
However, a couple of years ago, Jerry sent me a Word document entitled, “The Disciplinary Wives Club: Behind the Scenes”. It was an early-stage draft, and based on the introduction it was intended to be (a) a history of the DWC; and (b) a compilation of much of the DWC content. The purpose of the latter seemed to be to preserve the website content so it could be made available in book or hardcopy form, in reaction to the previous incident of someone ripping off their website. Unfortunately, as I said, it was an early-stage draft, and there wasn’t much new content at that stage.
But, I took a look at it last week, and it included three of the DWC pamphlets in Word format, including the “Woman’s Handbook” (aimed at female readers), the “Companion Guide” (aimed at male readers), and a “How to Scold During Discipline” (a “how to manual” on scolding).
So, I cut and pasted those guides into blog posts, after creating a new blog site, which you can find at https://dwc-manuals.blogspot.com/. I’ve also put a page link to that blog at the top of this blog.
Further, I had several electronic copies of a fourth manual, “Please Discipline Me: Persuading Your Partner”. One of them was a black and white version that was missing one intro section. It looks like something someone may have scanned from a hardcopy. BUT, it did allow cut and pasting, but the formatting was mostly lost. I’ve gone through and tried to clean up formatting, which took forever, but it’s still messy and visually unsightly. But, the content is there.
I asked permission from Jerry to do this, and he was fine with it. Donn and I had exchanged some comments regarding IP rights. I’ve always been a little leery about distributing these, as it’s not clear whether anyone other than Kay and Jerry contributed to them, but the reality is, I don’t have any reason to think anyone else did contribute to them, and unlike when the DWC was a live website, no one is trying to sell them, so by posting them here I am not depriving anyone with rights in them to any commercial opportunities. (I do, fyi, have copies of at least some of DWC videos. Those I will not make available, because I have no idea who most of the people featured in them are, and they might have objections to someone distributing videos of them engaging in those sorts of activities.)
So, enjoy. I haven’t enabled comments on the blog where these are hosted, so please direct any comments to this post.
Thank so much!
ReplyDelete-3pops
No problem.
DeleteDan: This is really excellent that you are sharing these with everyone who reads your blog. I appreciate being able to read them again, and I am certain many other people will also. I will post a link to them on my blog, and devote the post next week to them.
ReplyDeletebototms up
red
Thanks, Red. It's too bad I didn't have a better version of the "Please Discipline Me" pamphlet to work from. I've always liked that one.
DeleteDan, google seems to be preventing me from opening this. When I pick on the pamphlets link, it takes me to a sensitive content warning, which asks for me to sign in, and when I try to do that, I get a grey border.
ReplyDeleteTry scrolling about halfway down the page until you see the sign in box.
Delete-3pops
What page should I be scrolling down on?
ReplyDeleteThe grey border is an overlay, just scroll down until you see the sign in box. It may be quite far down.
DeleteWhen I click on "Tips and Methods" and Fiction Stories" Google lets me in. When I click on "Real People" or "Pamphlets" the orange sensitive content warning comes up. Then when I try to sign in, it won't allow that, and puts me back in a loop. Very frustrating.
ReplyDeleteSorry, no idea. All those pages are set up in the same way.
DeleteNorton:
DeleteSometimes when you get into one of those repetitive "security loops," it due to one of two reasons (among others):
(1) You are trying to access and pass through the age security check at a non-secure sign-in page. You are at a page with address similar to http://name.domain. com, RATHER THAN HTTPS://name.domain. com.
(2) You have conflict between various security cookies that Google has set. Try clearing ALL of your Google cookies, then logging back into your Google Account, then attempting the age security check.
No guarantees, but these two are the most common problems I encounter.
Dan:
ReplyDeleteI was curious if you also had the "Contracting Guide and Forms" (maybe under a different name). That Contracting Guide would complete Aunt Kay's original three part "DWC Lifestyle Kit."
Even if you only have the Contracting Guide as a *.pdf file, I do have the Adobe PDF tools to bypass copy-protection, or alternatively I can extract whole pages (i.e., contract forms) which you could post as photographs in the appropriate blog; I could transcribe the limited instructions and contracting guide, which could also be posted.
Any thoughts?
Thank you Dan. That is going to be many hours reading all the various material. Cheers GLM.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteIt was interesting re-reading the DWC material, over twenty five years after we discovered the site and started living this lifestyle. I guess on originally reading it, I just accepted it as it was, but now, with the benefit of experience, there were a number of areas that particularly caught my attention, either negatively or positively. I think inherent in Aunt Kay’s thoughts is the implication that any woman can become a DWC wife. I have to disagree with this. Although we’ve been together over twenty five years, we’re both second time around and in my wildest moments I can’t imagine my first wife being capable of adopting this lifestyle. I believe there is a fundamental strength - recognizable if difficult to define - that is essential for a woman to have the potential to be a DWC wife. My now wife has it, my first wife definitely didn’t. Kay talks about the importance of being faithful, but doesn’t define what this means. I guess that most people would just assume this is a sexual reference but I think that really unfaithfulness encompasses any significant act done without your partner’s knowledge, be it sexual, financial or anything else. This does of course cross over into her discussion of honesty, but I would suggest that in a marriage, faithfulness and honesty are pretty much the same thing. One thing I’d forgotten was her emphasis on maternal discipline. As I’ve said here in the past, I have a huge problem with this. I grew up at a time and place where not only was corporal punishment not a thing, but I can’t imagine my mother - or the mothers of any of my friends - being disciplinary. My wife grew up in more of a maternal disciplinary environment, but she agrees with me that there is nothing maternal about our DWC life style and she is as uncomfortable with the concept as I am - and yes, I know there are many here who disagree with me on this. Where I agree completely with Kay is in the effect that punishment has on a marriage. It clears the air, gets rid of my feelings of guilt and her anger, and lets everyone move on without whatever this thing is hanging in the air for hours or days afterwards. In our experience it’s hugely beneficial for the marriage. Her card box was the other thing I wanted to mention; we’ve discussed the whole DD vs FLR thing many times here, but her practice of assigning chores via the card-box feels very FLR to me. I certainly agree with the idea that repeatedly failing to do things should be punishable, but I think it applies to things I have said I will do, regardless of whether I took it upon myself or it was something that B REQUESTED that I do. She doesn’t assign tasks. Appreciate you being able to post this stuff again though. TG
I agree that these materials can hit very differently with a few years in-between reads. I don't remember when I first got copies of them, but it was several years after discovering the DWC. And, I didn't read them again until a couple of years ago.
DeleteI have some of the same reactions as you, though sometimes from an almost opposite perspective. I agree with you that not every woman can become a DWC wife, though I don't attribute it so much to strength or lack thereof; I see it as more about openness to things that are unconventional or transgressive and, in some cases, a gut-level aversion to "hurting" others, and in still others to a real reluctance to take on any sort of leadership role.
For me, the fundamental thing I didn't agree with was more about how quickly a woman could be expected to make the transformation from "vanilla" to DWC. There's a vibe in the materials that it's just a matter of making the decision to do it, then instantly stepping into the role. It may work that way for some, but not many. And, there is a big difference between the physical act of taking up the paddle and using it effectively, which my wife did do amazingly quickly, and really embracing the role itself and making it her own.
On the whole faithfulness thing, there is sometimes this underlying emphasis on that, "moral education", and "wholesomeness" that I personally find really annoying and very 1950s housewife-ish.
On the maternal emphasis, somehow in my many readings of the DWC and a read or two of these manuals, the whole maternal thing went right over my head, until someone pointed out three or so years ago that even appears in the description on the top page of the DWC website. It really is a major focus, and it's approached from both the wife and husband perspective, with the wife equated to the maternal role and the husband expressly identified a taking on a "child" role. That whole dynamic is way more explicit in the pamphlets than in the website materials. Some of it comes a little close to age-play, which I'm not into, though I don't have the problem you do with the maternal archetype as a model for a DD relationship.
To me, the manuals have an undeniably FLR orientation. There's no express reference to "Female Led" or "FLR", and for all I know that term didn't exist at the time the DWC was active. And, the descriptions of the grants of authority are kind of equivocal in that the wife has widespread authority but phrased in terms of "on disciplinary matters". But, I think any fair reading would acknowledge that the "on disciplinary matters" includes determining what is subject to discipline in the first place, which is a hugely broad grant of authority. Though, I think the DWC website materials also have a very FLR-ish vibe as a whole. The first two fiction stories include a wife spanking her husband for leering at another woman's legs, and that woman turns out to be a DWC wife. After giving him his first DWC spanking, his wife says to him: "Oh, and in case you didn't hear my discussion with Glenda on the phone, when we go over there tomorrow evening for you to apologize, if she wishes to spank you too, you had better not object and embarrass me. As a DWC woman, and my friend, if she wants to punish you, she has my blessing.” That grant of authority for the husband to be spanked by other DWC wives, to me, borders on Femdom. So, I think there is an emphasis on the "wife" and "female" leadership element that sometimes escapes the notice of those who are focusing entirely on the "disciplinary" part.
TG:
DeleteYes, I agree with you about Aunt Kay's heavy emphasis on "Maternal Discipline" being somewhat "off-putting." I personally, and I think I can honestly say that my own wife also, finds such dynamic to be somewhat creepy. (This is NOT to question or negate many other members here who feel this maternal perspective is beneficial to their own relationships; many of our earliest interests in CP were associated with women who occupied such maternal or similar roles in our lives. And, I can certainly understand how many wives may find a fundamental source of "rightful authority" by considering themselves in a parental role.)
Previously, I had noted a couple references on the Main DWC Website to this "maternal dynamic." However, until I recently read Aunt Kay's "Wives' Handbook," I did not fully appreciate how much she emphasized this. In particular, this line referring to the husband:
"He has empowered you to assume the maternal role and has agreed to take the child role with respect to discipline."
I never "empowered" or in any way suggest to my wife for her to assume such a role, or wanted to assume the role of "child." (There are 14 separate references to either "mother" or "maternal" in that handbook!)
Similarly, this part of the "Companions' Guide:"
". . . you [husband] wants a maternal, disciplinary relationship . . ."
Nope! Neither before, or now.
I could see many other "dynamics" that could provide similar authority and subservient positions, without (necessary) being role-play: teacher/student; governess/charge; coach/athlete; disciplinarian/delinquent (convict); queen/knight. (My wife finds those last two ["Sultana" {Islamic Queen"} & disciplinarian] to best match her personal feelings and be most empowering -- I agree!)
I'm a late to Aunt Kay and her writings. I'm wondering if she ever described her personal experience - how she became a disciplinary wife, how she made it known to others, etc.
DeleteDonn, it's interesting how different archetypes hit each of us differently. I know others who really resonate toward the queen/knight type, while it is very off-putting to me, and I have no idea why.
DeleteTom, I haven't come across anything where Kay herself described it, but her husband has told me the gist. He had a strong pre-existing interest in spanking. Shortly after they started dating, he invited her to attend a large spanking party with him (one of the large events sponsored by one of the national groups that used to be around), and she agreed. Sometime after that, he was in the process of moving, and a friend asked him to help transport some pot for him. Jerry agreed and told Kay about it. She flipped out and told him he most certainly was not going to do it. He argued and, in the process, earned himself his first "real" disciplinary spanking. Although the DWC became its own thing, I think it was their pre-existing contacts in the larger spanking community that brought others into their little movement, carving out a DD genre among the larger spanko community.
Delete
DeleteDan
I agree, I had not previously appreciated how strongly the FLR themes ran through Kay’s writings until re-reading the material now.
Donn.
You hit the nail on the head, “creepy” is the ideal word for how the maternal approach feels to us - although, as you said, I, of course have no critisism with others seeing it that way. I guess I can appreciate the role-play aspect, I don’t find it creepy although It’s not something that really speaks to me. Each to his own ! We had an interest in the D/s lifestyle that pre-dates our awareness of DD. This has somewhat faded over the years, but even there we were not really into role play. It’s a direction I could go in if my wife wanted to, but she really isn’t that interested in it either. If I’m going to be punished, I don’t need to equate it to something else. TG
Tom, I might add that the CP-DD dynamic appeared to be well established very early in their relationship, certainly before they were married.
DeleteThere's a recollection in Jerry's (Tomy's) old blog about how Aunt Kay thoroughly "OTK switched" his butt as they sat on a outside bench, shortly before (same day) as their formal wedding!
After many attempts with the computer, I was finally able to access the pamphlets from my phone. They really brought me back to when I first discovered the DWC, and like Dan, it hit me like a ton of bricks. TG and I had similar experiences with wives that were never capable or even interested in spanking, let alone the DWC lifestyle. Twenty years later, we split up and I now get to experience how amazing real DD can be. It's interesting to ponder if my then wife had been into it, would I have given her the unlimited "any time for any reason" authority? Probably not, as I just didn't trust her enough. All that has changed, and now I am with a woman who understands my needs and takes good care of me in every way. Dan, great idea making those pamphlets available to us. Agreed that they had a different vibe than the other content available on the site. I would say that we are currently living the lifestyle Aunt Kay described, and it works very well for us. One of the basic ideas she suggested was, always put her first, which is something I really try to do now. DD has made me a more sensitive partner. There are no arguments, I do the majority of the housework and shopping, and do my best to show her how much I appreciate her every day. She has become more confident, and less apt to say yes to things she doesn't really want to do. She has also become an excellent spanker. One thing Aunt Kay used to say was, the harder and more often she spanks, the more he will love you for it. I used to think that was really over the top. Not anymore.
DeleteThanks Dan and Donn for that information.
DeleteThanks for sharing these with the group, Dan! Given that Jerry was ok with their free distribution, I'm sure Kay would have been also - especially given the length of time since they were published. I suspect that she would even be pleased that they are still be distributed and read.
ReplyDeleteI believe that I originally had hard copies of all of these - and may still have a couple of them. But, I had acquired digital copies along the way as well from various sources.
I will have to make it a point to go through and re-read them in the upcoming weeks - at least get them on my endless reading queue. --al
I do have a vague recollection of "Jerry" posting on the old Usenet spanking group, possibly before the DWC site went up. --a;
ReplyDelete