The Club - Meeting 500 - Community-Based Spanking Discipline and a Real DWC Club

Suddenly summoned to witness something great and horrendous, we keep fighting not to reduce it to our own smallness.” ― John Updike

 

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and Female Led (FLR) relationships.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to thank the female commenters who have recently joined us and to extend an invitation to all others who may be inclined to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We like having you around.

 

I hope you all (in the U.S.) had a great Thanksgiving and are getting a good start on a long holiday weekend. It’s never been one of my favorite holidays, but ours was good; a short trip, some time with extended family, and a short trip home.

 

We might kick off a bit of a milestone - 500 posts!  I'd make a bigger deal out of it, except that we really passed that milestone a long time ago, when you consider how many "no post this week" posts ended up with lots of comments and great discussions. But, in any event, thanks again to all of you who have stuck around for so long, regardless of how many it's actually been.

 

I expect this could a pretty quiet weekend here on the forum.  So, I decided to post a little early, given that some may be traveling over the weekend, and because I may be tied up tomorrow.  But, even if many are out and about, some trying not to get spanked, and some thinking about the ones they already earned, let's try to get a conversation going.

On that preliminary note, we are heading into the season where both preventative and deserved punishment spankings tend to spike.  If that was part of your Thanksgiving experience, please help out the more voyeuristic among us.  Give us some details!

 

Second, this may be less a well-defined topic than conveying my own recent reaction to an old comment and satisfying my curiosity as to others’ reactions.

 

As part of my recent review and culling of some old blog comments, I came across this one from Aunt Kay’s husband, known as Tomy here and as Jerry within the DWC.  In a comment from a years back, he reflected on this memory from the DWC:

 

"When Aunt Kay held her occasional Couples Gathering, the high point was the Confessional sessions. The men would bring a written description of something they craved punishment for and release from. They were completely confidential.

 

She studied them and then assigned each man to a different wife who would discuss the confession and administer the spanking. Believe me. The women took their responsibilities seriously.

 

The therapeutic result for the men who took the whole exercise to heart was beyond belief. A couple of guys reported getting rid of guilt from decades past."

 

Something about that scenario really got my attention, which is somewhat odd, because usually the whole group dynamic leaves me kind of cold.  In fact, while I have always been very into all things DWC, my one reservation was the some of the group activities always seemed a little too “play-like” for someone like me for whom DD is, at its core, about real accountability for real offenses.  

 

 

I think this scenario struck something within me, despite my “group play” reservations, because the stated therapeutic goal  included—and, indeed, hinged on—the husband being honest about some failing that might be deeply embarrassing that he wanted to pay a price for.  That injected a “real disciplinary” element that fell well outside typical “funishment” or “role-play” group scenarios. The scenario checked several disciplinary boxes:

 

• the humbling inherent in basically asking for an immediate spanking for a specifically identified bad act;
•  an outsider knowing about the bad act and the spanking to come, and either delivering that spanking, or facilitating it happening;
•  the “all business” nature of the exercise, exemplified by the seriousness with which the women apparently took it; and
• the further humbling in taking a spanking that, unlike in most group settings, reflects a real offense that everyone, including you, know you deserve and fully support you getting;
• while she may not deliver the spanking to her own husband, the wife is still in control of the situation by virtue of participating in it herself
  

 

I don’t recall seeing anything like this on the DWC website or any of the DWC materials, but it must have been a known “thing” among people who knew about the DWC, because during my comment review I found this one in a different post from the one Tomy was commenting on:

 

"While I have been spanked by wives in our DWC circle of friends many times, only once has DeeDee had another wife give me a true disciplinary spanking. It was during a get together where we kind of "mocked" Aunt Kay's confessional idea.

 

It was very powerful. The other wife spanked me, while lecturing me on some things she saw in my life where I was over-extending myself to the point where, by "helping" others, I was hurting myself. It was something blatantly obvious to her, yet swallowed up as part of our "normal" life by DeeDee and I.

 

Mostly however, discipline spankings are a very private and intimate time that are shared only between DeeDee and I.” – Anthony Payne

 

The logistics aren’t quite clear in either scenario, but it says something about the extent to which I internalized Tomy’s description of Aunt Kay’s session that, in my mind, the husband was taken to another room and spanked in private.  I was actually surprised when, upon a closer reading, I found that element wasn’t actually part of the description, and the spankings may have happened in front of a group.  I don't know but intend to ask Jerry.

 

Maybe it’s just how my own imagination depicts it. Or, perhaps I subconsciously intermixed the described scenario with some of Tomy’s other stories involving men being sent to Aunt Kay for punishment spankings.  He was always instructed to take himself elsewhere in the house when those happened.  So, while he sometimes overheard them, he seldom actually witnessed them.

 

That relates a bit to an exchange between Miss C and Alan.  Miss C related a story regarding her own husband being spanked by Aunt K. and how watching him spanked by another woman left her feeling confused.  It led Alan to observe:

 

“I do get this. I have been spanked with her sister present several times. But neither her sister nor any other woman has spanked me in my wife's presence. If it did happen, as it apparently did for you –i.e., another woman in effect demonstrating her technique for your benefit- neither my wife nor I would be comfortable with that as your husband was not.

 

However, if my wife told me she was sending me to another woman for discipline (there could be several reasons for doing that), then the spanking would feel like an extension of her authority: she is delegating her authority to someone else. Then, the spanking from another woman would be an extension (an embarrassing one) of my wife’s authority. So, in the example you cite -if you had asked Aunt Kay to discipline him on your behalf, that would have been an entirely different situation.

 

In the real world, do disciplinary wives delegate their authority like that? I don’t know, but plenty of instances of it are recounted on various websites. If my wife decided to do it, her motive would probably be to help someone else with their relationship. But the point is, if she ordered it, I would obey her. But if we were at a spanking party or another social setting, I would have no interest in being spanked by another woman.”

 

The element I subconsciously read into the scenario—of the husband being taken to another room by the assigned disciplinary wife and the spanking taking place in private—would seem to address the concerns Miss C and Alan’s concerns about a spanking being delivered by another woman in front of the wife, and it would involve Alan’s scenario of the spanking being conducted as an extension of the wife’s authority.

 

 

It’s interesting how our minds may read elements into stories and pictures that may or may not be what the author/artist intended.  For example, this drawing, which I’ve posted many times, came up when I was searching for art for today’s post.  In the past, I’ve assumed the woman leading the man upstairs was his wife.  But, when I viewed it with today’s topic in mind, it occurred to me that the woman on the far left, looking slightly nervous or concerned (or, that's how she looks to me), might be the wife, watching her husband being taken off to be spanked by an Aunt Kay-like disciplinary surrogate, wondering how much he's in for.   

 

My search also pulled up this other picture by the same artist, which seems to suggest either his wife, or another Aunt Kay-like woman, sending a reluctant husband off for a private session, while the other women look on knowingly.

 

 

I think one reason the whole scenario got my attention is my attitudes toward witnesses and others knowing seem to be changing subtly.  Though, I think the change is not so much about witnesses or groups per se, as about the whole “community” aspect that the DWC seems to have pulled off in real life; an aspect this blog, as stable as it has been, has never managed to extend into or replicate.   

 

It’s ironic, as we found the DWC near the time it was starting to come apart, but long enough before that actually happened that, had we been more open at that time, we probably could have participated in something like the sessions that I know find myself oddly attracted to but have no present outlet for exploring.  This isn’t the first time over the last year or two that I’ve found myself much more interested in an in-person community-based experience, though that ebbs and flows.

 

Another reason I find it increasingly appealing has little or nothing to do with any prospect of me getting spanked in such a situation. Rather, it’s about the imagined prospect of Anne participating by being the surrogate for some other wife. In real life, I think her jealousy, which she acknowledges is firmly-rooted, might preclude any scenario involving me getting spanked by anyone else (at least by any woman).  However, I don’t seem to be similarly wired for jealousy when it comes to DWC-oriented spanking, as I don’t think I would have any problem at all with her spanking another man.  Although I think it is very unlikely to ever happen, I think I’ve crossed some threshold where it’s all about Anne’s reluctance to engage in anything more “community” oriented, and not really my own.

 

 

And, of course, things can change.  KOJ has related how his own wife’s transformation from purely private disciplinarian to having little problem “outing” her problem by spanking him at a party, where others didn’t see it might have overheard, and how it happened astonishingly quickly after she retired.

 

 

Anyway, as I said, I don’t have a fully-articulated topic in mind.  Instead, I’ll leave it more open-ended and invite you to talk about your reaction to the scenarios depicted above.  Do they have any appeal, whether as something you would want to explore in real life, or as just a private little “what if” scenario?  If so, what elements do you find most appealing. 

 

This topic very much invites responses from the wives as well.  Does anything about the scenario Tomy/Jerry depicted, with wives taking on the assignment of spanking another man for something real that he has confessed a need to have dealt with, seem appealing?  Why or why not?  If doing the spanking isn’t appealing, do you find anything appealing about your husband being told to participate in anything like that scenario, perhaps for its humbling aspects?

 

And, generally, how do people feel about the kind of real life “community” the DWC built, for at least several couples who were open to it?

 

Have a great week.