The Club - Meeting 453 - A Picture (or Video) is Worth a Thousand Words

“To succeed in life requires a total inability to do anything that makes you uncomfortable when you look at yourself in the mirror.” - Nassim Nicholas Taleb

 

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline relationships.

 

Before we get started, I would once again like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. While I’ve always said the blog is open to both men and women, one of our commenters suggested I try to be more expressly inviting in order to get a little more female involvement. So, here’s another try.

 

I hope you all had a great week.  Ours was pretty uneventful, except that on the Domestic Discipline front, it kind of wasn’t.  We’ve been at this almost 20 years and, yet, sometimes some small thing happens that seems like a big change.  Or, at least it seems like it might become a big change if it became a regular practice.

 

It all started with a conversation about the lull we had gotten into where DD was concerned, which was partially the result of a back injury I sustained a few weeks ago.  I let her know that things were sufficiently better that nothing physical stood in the way of us trying to get back on track. 

 

I also screwed up my courage to finally just ask outright whether I was right in intuiting that she's been missing the DD action and that she seems to actually want to spank more often.  

 

Well, she admitted that's the case.  She said she's been particularly frustrated lately with my tendency to be snarky and sarcastic and that she recognizes that she needs to be much quicker to deal with those issues and to order a spanking as soon as they happen.

 

The problem is, we’ve had these discussions about her stepping up the level of consistency and being especially strict about disrespect (usually in the form of snarky or sarcastic comments) a hundred times before, but it never seems to happen.

 

Well, the very next day, right before dinner we were talking about a problem I've been having that's kind of like tennis elbow. She asked where the pain was after I'd already pointed to it (twice), and without thinking I let loose with something to the effect of, “The same place it was when I pointed to it the last two times.”  No sooner had the words left my mouth than she responded, "There you go with the snarky tone!  Just last night you said I shouldn't let you get away with that. So, guess what? After dinner, you're getting spanked."

 

It ended up being delayed until almost bedtime, and at one point I thought that maybe she actually had gotten wrapped up in something else and forgotten the whole thing.  That suspicion was reinforced when, about 15 minutes before our usual bedtime she changed into the nightgown she almost always sleeps in. Very functional and not at all designed for sexual titillation. And, she invariably spanks me fully clothed in whatever she happened to be wearing that day.

 

  

So, I was surprised when she told me it was time for the spanking.  But, in another departure from our normal routine, she decided to conduct it in one of our guestrooms instead of our bedroom because, of all things, one of our dogs was hanging out in our room and she decided she didn't want to kick him out.

 

Our bedroom has an ottoman we almost always use for spankings, while the guestroom isn't set up for such activities.  I preceded her into the room and started to close the window shade. She was following right behind me and, when she entered the room said emphatically, "What are you doing?  Why are you closing that?" I didn't say anything and, after a pause, she on her own it was better to close them, because the neighbors on that side of the house have teenage kids. 

As I’ve related before, several months ago she started leaving the shades open during some spankings. But, that was in our bedroom, where the windows face into our backyard and the nearest house is a good 75 yards away with trees in both yards. While not impossible, it’s not likely those neighbors could see into our bedroom and, even if they did, we don’t know them at all. The neighbors adjacent to our guestroom, however, are people we know pretty well, and their house is separated from ours only by two very narrow side yards. So, it is VERY possible that a spanking in the guestroom could be seen.  While she ultimately thought better of it, the fact that she initially was unconcerned about the prospect that someone might see (even if it was still somewhat unlikely, given that there weren’t lights on in their windows that face ours), seems like a big deal.

 

 

Having lowered the shades, she simply sat on the bed, motioned me to get over her legs, and got down to business.  The swats were hard, but she stopped after two or three minutes, which is maybe 1/3 of a normal spanking for us, and said, “Since it was a moderately snarky comment, I’ll let you go with a moderately long spanking. This time.”

 

That in itself is a new development, as Anne has always been very “binary” in her approach to spanking.  All are more or less equally long and hard, regardless of the offense.

 

A couple of nights later, I brought up the changes, telling her that somehow they added up to a spanking that felt both unusually "business-like" and, at the same time, unusually maternal.  She said that was exactly how it felt to her too, characterizing it as being like a mother who was tired of dealing with a mouthy teenager and, therefore, took matters in hand.  

 

  

I observed that part of the maternal vibe for me was her blasé attitude toward neighbors who know us observing, because it was so much like mothers when I was growing up.  They would very commonly take a misbehaving kid out of the room, deliver a spanking, then come back as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.  Or, they would deliver on the spot, not caring a whit who might see. There simply wasn’t any concern about anyone knowing a spanking was in progress. It might be embarrassing for the recipient, but from the disciplinarian's standpoint, it was no big deal.

She agreed it had that vibe, but added something to the effect of, "You could also think of it as a wife who has had enough of certain conduct and has decided she will do literally whatever it takes to make you decide it is in your best interest to stop. If that means the neighbors find out, maybe you'll find that sufficiently embarrassing to change your behavior.”

 

While where all this goes over time is unknown, it does seem like a spanking that was one of the mildest I’ve received in a while might be fairly momentous in terms of what it may portend.  Only time will tell.

 

Onward to an actual topic.  Last week, I provided a link to a spanking video Aunt Kay’s husband sent me that included a very strong “lecture” component, from a wife who seemed genuinely pissed off.  It led Alan to observe:

 

I have seen a couple of tapes from this couple before. It could, of course, be role-playing by an especially talented pair of amateurs. But I think not. What we see here instead is a couple in some sort of DD relationship involving spanking who have set up taping equipment in advance of offensive behavior, agreeing to film the real thing when it comes along. This scene and two or three f others produced by them resonate too deeply with my experiences to not be genuine.

 

One other point, for those who have not recorded discipline, is the surreal effect that is produced by watching yourself get a real spanking. My wife has no interest in recording, but my former girlfriend was interested in it, and we did a few pretty crude tapes.

 

Crude they were, but watching her in action and my response (both verbal and physical) was like the equivalent of having an out-of-body experience. I became the “third person” in the room, seeing it as if I was watching someone else get spanked rather than me. I suspect that the “third person” effect wears off if a couple does a lot of taping, but I don’t know for sure.

 

That led to a few comments around whether people had taken videos of a spanking, and it seemed few have. We have not, though I admit to a perverse curiosity about it.  I would like to see some of the mechanics, like exactly how hard is she swinging, and I’d also like to see the look on her face. Though, I think I’m most interested in seeing my own reactions.  I suspect it would have that “third person” quality Alan references, though I have no way of knowing.

 

 

So, my first topic is really just a continuation of the comments from last week: Have you ever taken a video of you taking or, for the wives, administering a spanking? If so, what was that like?

 

The discussion of the spanking video also led to a topic suggestion from Alan:

 

Re filming a session: It might be interesting if Dan selected a spanking video like the one noted in the introduction (i.e., plausibly real) -and then offered commentators a chance to comment on how much it resembled their typical spanking, in what way, how it did, how it didn’t, etc. Alternately, a series of similarly plausible spankings could be linked, and commentators invited to choose their favorite or most typical one or the one coming closer to their typical experience and why and how. In this way, folks might learn a lot both about what is “normal” for others and what is ideal. What made me think about this is that talking some this week about the spanking Tomy cited made me realize I don’t really have a good sense of what others experience, and I have some pretty strong ideas as to what constitutes a “ real and effective” spanking for me. We all could learn from that.

I like the idea, though doing it justice is going to require some real participation from the group, including providing some of their own clips.  And, let’s not limit it just to “plausibly real” videos, since the reality is almost all the content out there is stage in one way or another. Instead, I would ask commenters to provide videos that reflect either of the following:

 ·     a spanking that is close to what you receive in terms of severity, duration, etc.

·       a spanking that may deviate significantly from what you receive but that reflects your “ideal” or something you genuinely want to experience.

 

As Alan suggested, let’s get into specifics about what is similar to what you receive (or want) and what isn’t, since it’s probably the case that no video is going to perfectly match what you do or desire.

 

I can kick it off and will provide a few clips.

 

I’ll start off with the spanking clip from Aunt Kay’s husband.  This one actually does have some similarities to one of our “typical” spankings.  The duration is probably close to ours, and the position is somewhat similar, except Anne never locks my leg down with hers.  Where it differs is:

 

·      Anne never gives hand spankings.

·      I am always completely naked.

·      While Anne has started lecturing more during the spanking, this video has WAY more of it.  Anne’s lecturing tends to be during very short breaks in the action and, overall, it’s a much more limited part of the experience.

·      Anne’s go-to instrument these days is the bath brush, which would have resulted, I think, in a harsher spanking than this depicts.

 

This next video is one of several I’ve seen from this spanker, and it depicts something pretty close to our actual spankings. While clearly staged, I think this woman’s spankings often have a very realistic feel. It feels very close to ours in terms of duration (around five or six minutes of actual spanking time) and severity. She cycles through three instruments, while these days Anne uses two and sometimes three. The instruments she uses are themselves pretty similar to the ones Anne would use. The primary areas where it differs are:

 

·      Obviously, the recipient is female, but my focus in watching it is generally on the spanker, not so much the spankee.

·      The recipient is way more verbal than I am during a spanking. I exclaim a lot (grunting and gasping, mostly) but not that amount of verbalizing and emoting.

·      The spanker’s pace is very quick.  Anne’s is more deliberate, usually with a second or two between each swat. I admit to being a little curious about how a “fast and furious” approach like this one would feel.

·      The spanker emphasizes caring for the spankee and they hug at the end. This is purely my thing, but I would find that very off-putting during a spanking.  It works best for me when Anne’s words and demeanor emphasize that I am there to be spanked and hard, and I don’t need or want after-care.

 

This last one (actually, more than one) is a compilation from a commercially-oriented service and, thus, the scenes are obviously staged.  My focus is mainly on her bath brush scenes. She clearly is laying into him hard, especially in the one near the end of the compilation. 

 

This clip from the same source includes an acted scene that includes a fake lecture, but she is very upfront that it’s a scene and not reality, so I’m not focusing at all on plausibility.  What I find notable about this one is the very strict tone and the way a simple hairbrush becomes a very effective instrument in her hand.

 

The reason I included the clips of this particular woman’s spankings is, while her spankings are maybe harsher than Anne’s, it’s a matter of degree not kind.  Her swats seem somewhat harder than Anne’s, though it’s not a night and day difference, with the caveat that her clips of paddlings (here is a teaser) do seem quite a bit harder than what Anne delivered back when she used a fraternity-style paddle.  (She hasn’t done a stand-up session with one in a long time.)  I would characterize this woman’s spankings not so much as something I “want” Anne to match in terms of severity and very strict tone, but they are at a level I would like her to feel prepared to go to if she thought it were necessary. 

 

So, forward those favorite clips guys (and gals) and let us know how they do and don’t reflect the punishments you receive or maybe aspire to experience. And, of course, feel free to comment on my clips.