“In spite of warnings, change rarely occurs until the status quo becomes more painful than change.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Hello all. Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club. Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline relationships.
I hope you all had a great week and, for those of you in the U.S., are enjoying the first day of a three-day weekend. Just don’t let that extra day of freedom lead to consequences you’ll regret later!
For me, it was a pretty good week, all things considered. No existential crises related to aging, health, resilience, confronting challenges, etc. In fact, I feel like maybe those couple of rough weeks, when I came to doubt my mental and physical toughness, were part of a “bottoming” process I needed to go through to get past a “flat spot” in this little post-retirement journey I’m on. In any event, it was a fairly drama-free week, where I made some strides toward getting back to some healthier habits, and that’s all good.
We had some good observations last week on what was admittedly a pretty narrow topic. It seems fair to say that while some have experimented with using Domestic Discipline as something akin to personal “coaching,” it’s not that prevalent. I gravitated personally to the way MW described his and his wife’s respective mindsets and how it plays out in the DD aspects of their relationship:
The thing about these goals is that while she agrees the benefits (as I describe them) are important, she will never be as opinionated as me about the best way to do them. She is obviously not an experienced coach who has taken other men to their potential. She just wants a healthy husband who is pleased with how he spends his time. The details of that and the taste for excellence have to come from me. So while those goals help me stay the course I've set and scratch an itch to be brought into line with spanking, they aren't really led by her, nor can be right now.
By contrast, and like other commenters often mention, she has a keen sense of when my character is hurting others or when I'm unhelpful in her domains of expertise, especially around the home. when she brings up these things, she is confident about judging what I should be doing, and understands the consequences of my misbehavior better than I do. Submitting to those kinds of spankings puts me under her leadership.
ZM is one of the few who has implemented such a set of goals systematically, so his feedback on how it worked is especially enlightening:
At the same time, I did struggle with this quite a bit along the way, even as I was the one promoting it. I think this is largely because DD when used in this way seems to lack the "punch" of when it is used to punish bad behaviors. Somehow, the whole being momentarily reduced to being a "bad little boy," as would happen when misbehavior is punished, really pushes my buttons a lot more, so these weekly check-ins didn't play much to my punishment fantasy/fetish/whatever it is.
Also, I think it was really hard because even though I LOVED my wife exercising authority in this way and me being subject to her control, I also kind of hated that I lacked the self-discipline to make these improvements on my own.
It’s a good point about how very utilitarian spanking scenarios might not scratch our erotic itch, precisely because they are so utilitarian. But, as I replied to ZM, something I've struggled with this year is accepting that the scoldings and punishments that LEAST play to the erotic part of my DD drive probably are the most effective when it comes to actual results.
It's the hard thing about a wife taking up authority for real. Once things are left to her discretion, who knows how she will decide to use it? Deep down inside, we think/hope/wish our wives will use that authority in the ways--and only the ways--we want, but that may not be the way it turns out. At all.
On to this week's topic. A few weeks ago, someone (the comment was anonymous, but I suspect it was one of our regulars who forgot to leave a name) suggested the following:
Dan, something I am curious about is the role of warnings and spanking threats in DD relationships. My wife threatens spankings more often than she actually gives them. I guess that’s because she has found that just threatening or warning me has the effect that she desires, so she doesn’t have to follow through. I haven’t seen much discussion from other guys about warnings and threats, so I wonder whether that is a unique feature of DD at our house. Maybe I am more responsive to threats than most guys?
As a preliminary matter, one thing I like about this topic is it gives me an excuse to use this drawing, which seems to depict a school headmaster “warning” or “threatening” a group of incoming girls about what may be in store for them.
The looks on their faces are so intriguing, ranging from fear and intimidation to various forms of fascination, whether positive or negative. When I viewed it again before this posting, it also occurred to me that in girls’ boarding schools, the senior girls often had responsibility for disciplining younger girls. So, those who seem intrigued might also be pondering the possibility of giving canings. Anyway, I thought it was a very compelling drawing, much more so than your typical spanking art.
This isn’t the first time we’ve talked about “warnings” and “threats,” though it has been a couple of years.
At that time, Aunt Kay’s husband talked about her system for warning him about public behavior:
“Indeed, those "warnings" had become very effective for me too. Often she would, if we were in public settings, subtly make a gesture on her palm indicating "that's one." It was her counting to "three," which was a definite point of no return. I didn't make a game of her getting to "two". But if she did I was very vigilant to avoid "three."
Anne has done that a few times, but it’s taken more of the form of a pointed glance than a verbal warning or sign language.
In fact, warnings really haven’t played a big role for us, unless you count times when she seems to order a spanking but it doesn’t actually happen. Just a couple of weeks ago, she found the damn garage good open again, said I would be getting a spanking for it, then it didn’t actually happen. I don’t really see those as “warnings” or “threats” as those terms are properly understood, even if they may have a similar impact in terms of bringing me up short and reminding me of possible consequences.
Personally, while I know I wouldn’t like it at the time, I would welcome Anne being more aggressive and proactive with warnings and threats. Clearly, there are times when my behavior is trending in a bad direction, and a timely warning might nip that in the bud.
So, what role do threats and warnings play in your DD relationship?
Are they something the wife uses commonly? If not, do you wish that were a bigger part of your dynamic?
Do they happen more often in private or in public?
If in public, does she use some kind of sign or signal, or is there a direct, verbal communication involved?
Has she ever given you a
warning that has been overheard by others? Was the warning obvious enough that others would understand exactly what was going to happen to you if you didn't come into line?
For any wives who are lurking but would like to participate, do you commonly issue warnings or threats before resorting to an actual spanking? If so, is it one warning then on to the spanking, or do you have a longer fuse than that?
Do you find the use of warnings and threats empowering or confidence-building? Are there different or more severe consequences for him ignoring a warning?
By the way everybody, when I provide a subset of specific questions for a topic, I’m not suggesting that people address each of those questions or stick to only those questions. The questions are only meant to stimulate ideas for how you want to address the topic. I mention that because it sometimes seems people treating the questions like a written quiz.
Have a great week.
I seem to be in a world of short answers in recent topics, but no. I don’t think spankings happen as often as they should but there’s never any threat or warning, just an instruction to bring her the paddle or cane of whatever she decides to use at that time, then it’s straight to it. TG
ReplyDeleteThat happens sometimes. You can always chime in on others' answers that interest you.
DeleteI used to get warnings, still do occasionally but as we have an empty nest (currently) and we are experimenting with almost daily journals i more often get ‘reminders’. A reminder seems to be a quick spanking with the strap, not as hard or long as a punishment but still best avoided. And as they happen more frequently (punishment yesterday and a reminder today) then I am often still a bit tender… Reminders are more effective (for me and for her demeanour) than warnings which were often issued and ignored. Still only six or so weeks into this new regime of almost zero tolerance but really seems to be working. TB
ReplyDelete"Reminders are more effective (for me and for her demeanour) than warnings which were often issued and ignored."
DeleteThat is an issue I think we would encounter with warnings. Though, it may depend a lot on what the warning was about. A warning at a busy party about alcohol consumption would probably have a very high prospect of being ignored. On the other hand, a sharp warning if I'm being sarcastic or snarky would probably lead to a course correction.
When we became empty nesters, it didn't change the DD dynamic as much as I assumed it would. It sounds like it has been a big change in yours.
TB, our version of "reminders" come when my wife gets out the spatula, or occasionally the wooden spoon. In either case, it involves a quick session with me bent over in the kitchen. It only stings a little, but sometimes it's enough to send the message.
ReplyDeleteKevin
I can see how those would be very effective at delivering a message and doing so quickly, with a minimum of effort and time on her part.
DeleteOur situation is a bit like TG, no real warnings. We both believe in discipline as soon after the infraction as possible. As most of you know, I am kept nude at home, and I am spanked immediately after the offense. It has been in the living room, kitchen, garage, wherever I misbehave, she gets an implement and I am spanked. Even away from home, she is not big on giving warnings. I have been hauled out of restaurants, spanked and brought back in. Even at the home of a friend, she took me to an adjacent room where I was spanked for my behavior. She is good at finding discrete locations for 'public' discipline although, we have been 'caught' a few times. Most of the time I am spanked away from home, another is given as soon as we get back home.
ReplyDeleteIt occurs to me that being kept naked might also have prevented my recent slacking on diet -- too many mirrors.
Delete"Most of the time I am spanked away from home, another is given as soon as we get back home." Kind of like the old rule many parents had of if you got spanked at school, you got another at home. I can see the logic in that - public misbehavior being arguably more serious and potentially embarrassing to you and her than something that happens at home.
We are empty nesters, and, like many of you, there is no need for warnings. An immediate spanking is much more effective. There was an incident about a year ago, when I did get an embarrassing warning at a dinner party with some friends. One of her rules is, no cell phone out during dinner. We were talking about something and I got my phone out to show them a video. She looked at me and said something like "Are you sure you want to do that?" These were pretty close friends that were probably puzzled at her comment to me. One of the women was a counselor I had talked about my spanking obsession with, so she may have figured it out. However, she is pretty straight, and probably has no knowledge about our DD. I received a punishment spanking as soon as we arrived home. That incident led to several preventative spankings before other dinner parties. I never got my cell out again during dinner.
ReplyDeleteYour comment about one of the women knowing about your obsession makes an interesting point -- whether a public warning is embarrassing depends a lot on what each person who overhears it knows about you. Most of my friends probably would have been very puzzled by your wife's comment, but one that I've told about our DD would have known *exactly* what she was referring to. And, because of that, me complying with such a warning would be doubly embarrassing, because that friend would be watching me submit to my wife's authority and knowing exactly why I did.
DeleteIt didn't even occur to me at the time that this counselor even knew about my spanking obsession. When it happened, what was more embarrassing, as well as a turn on for me, was clearly that I was submitting to her authority in front of her friends. Hard to know how I would feel if one of them knew about our DD, but it would seem to be not so embarrassing for me, because it wouldn't be a surprise to observers. They would simply be seeing how F/M DD really works in real life. It would be nice to be able to share it with other couples.
DeleteI think that might have turned me on later, but probably not at the time.
DeleteI don’t usually need warnings, although there was a party several months ago that my wife and daughter attended with me. It involved several people with extensive wine collections sharing and I had too much. I wish Ann had warned me!! The spanking I got for that was a doozy!!
ReplyDeleteThe closest I’ve come to a warning was during the Texas Roadhouse conversation, about which I wrote previously. Ann reminded me, not in a whisper, that I was getting a spanking when we got back to the motel.
That's the thing with warnings, right? They may be embarrassing, or even annoying, at the time. But, if they save you from a doozy of a spanking . . .
DeleteSince my wife has got with this, I do get a lot of warnings. Explicit when there is just the two of us outlining exactly what will happen if I continue. A common phrase is "Are you looking for a spanking?"
ReplyDeleteThere has only been one warning in public that I can recall where the friends we were with definitely heard. It was something along the line that if I carried on I would regret it... spoken clearly and assertively. Our friends witnessed me towing the line... I don't know if they knew what would have happened if I didn't.
"Are you looking for a spanking?"
DeleteI love those kinds of phrases!
How did the friends witnessing you towing the line make you feel?
Yes I also like those kinds of phrases... sort of maternal eh :-). I also get "don't push it", code for sore bottom; "watch yourself", code for sore bottom; do you need to go and get the paddle, code for sore bottom; etc. Pretty much anything that comes into her head...
ReplyDeleteRegarding TB's comment about ignored warnings... I am never brave enough to ignore an issued warning. For me they are a bit like that moment when you know that you are going to be spanked, a shock and very worrying. But also a way of keeping the dynamic alive without sitting on a bruised bottom for a few days...
As far as the scenario where I backed down after being warned in front of others, I remember feeling a bit embarrassed but remember feeling that the embarrassment was bearable and preferable to the alternative. My father would have referred to it as being a bit sheepish...
There definitely is--for me at least--something ultra-maternal in those kinds of warnings.
DeleteThe other thing about ignoring warnings... to me it would mean that I was making the decision about getting a spanking. I want that to remain my wife's decision, so if she warns me I comply.
DeleteThat is a good way to look at it.
DeleteI love the idea of warnings, especially in public. The nervous feeling knowing that a punishment is coming is such a turn on. Witnessed spankings is probably my biggest obsession/fantasy, although we have yet to find that special friend to be involved as a witness, or even the giver on occasion. Thanks for the captioned photos on this post Dan, they really do convey the demeanor I would love to see in my fiancé!
ReplyDeleteThe whole demeanor thing is interesting. I suspect (though I don't know for a fact) that many women would like to cut loose with that tougher demeanor. Yet, they don't because they are afraid of being perceived as a bitch even though, ironically, their husbands actually *want* (or think they want) exactly that demeanor and level of control.
DeleteMy wife uses soft warning in a form of "Husband, I've told you..." The last warning, which in fact is also in most cases also meaning a spanking, is "We will discuss it at home". On one hand it express her authority. On the other valilla wifes use same expression so it's not something she cannot say in public. All wifes in our froup of friends use such wording and I doubt that they are into spanking.
ReplyDeleteI agree, that is probably one of the "safest" phrases if the goal is to warn without giving anyone the impression that what is being warned about is a spanking.
DeleteMaybe they are all into spanking... :-)
DeleteDevs latest thing is how I load the dishwasher. I load with the silverware down. She insists on up. She’s mentioned this multiple times. She said if I did it again I “ was going to get it “. Well , I intentionally loaded it my way. I want to see how this plays out. Lol. JR
ReplyDeleteHmm. Never heard of loading it silverware up.
DeleteExactly what I said !!
DeleteAlways up, except for sharp knives, and that’s a safety issue. TG
DeleteAnd that’s what she said.
DeleteActually TG, you should never put sharp knives in the dishwasher according to my wife. They dull the blade and the finish. Learned that lesson early on lol.
DeleteMy wife’s great line is your cruising for a bruising. That way it’s just us that knows what she means. Anytime we are around others, they think it’s a joke. We were at a dinner party and I said something that I perceived was funny. My wife did not find it funny and gave me that look. The next morning when we were leaving, she said in my ear, that when we get home, “I’m beating your ass but good.” She followed through and gave me a serious thrashing. I won’t be sitting comfortably for a few days. We are empty nesters now, so warnings are not necessary. It’s usually, go upstairs and bend over. I’m gonna thrash the hell out of that bottom. I usually just get the look or the line above. I love the maternal aspect and scolding while delivering the thrashing. She usually scolds how immature I am when delivering the spanking and that I need to grow up. I also knew I was in for it, as she was very quiet in the car ride home.
ReplyDeleteT
Cruising for a bruising -- that is an absolutely perfect line for a public warning/threat!
DeleteThose sorts of warnings, both in public and in private, really remind me of my parents. “You’re cruisin ’ for a bruisin ’,” “Do you want a spanking?” in public (loudly), or counting to 3 were common, even until I was 15 - 16. Ann doesn’t really use warnings, as I’ve said, but if she did, I can’t imagine not changing my behavior!!
ReplyDeleteWhile it ended at an earlier age for me, those kind of threats were definitely common growing up.
DeleteAnd, they worked.
DeleteMy Mother was notorious for the “look”. She would then follow up with, “just wait till we get home”. The usual, “I’m gonna spank you till you can’t sit for a week.” That obviously never happened. We would then be embarrassed in public by, I’m going to spank your bottom but good when we get home. I was once spanked in the women’s bathroom at church. I was bent over the sink and strapped with my own belt. A fellow Mother walked in and gave me the “look”. She walked into the stall and proceeded to use the bathroom as my Mother strapped away. Talk about embarrassing.
DeleteMy wife threatens me with a "good spanking" from time to time, sometimes accompanied by a few preliminary smacks. But the threats haven't been in earshot of others. That kind of information is just too intimate for her to be comfortable sharing. She has occasionally given me a verbal dressing down with others present, and that's embarrassing enough. Beth swears that she has never told anyone how she disciplines me, so family and friends probably assume that I'll be sleeping on the couch that night.
ReplyDeleteThere are times though, when she pulls me aside for a private conversation about my behavior. In those instances, she has already decided that I will be spanked when company leaves or we get home. Continued misbehavior means that the spanking will definitely be longer and probably harder.
Kevin
If she swears she hasn't told anyone, my assumption would be she hasn't. Anne says the same thing, though it surprises me that she hasn't. I get that she hasn't told any of her friends, largely because she hangs with women who seem pretty vanilla -- though, who the hell knows? I'm sure plenty of people thing I'M very vanilla. What surprises me more is it's never come up with our daughters,
DeleteI'm gradually getting more "open" about things, at least in terms of it being "discovered" by others. We have a vacation condo, and I keep a few spanking implements in a dresser there. We recently let a couple we hang out with use it. I thought about hiding the paddle and strap more effectively, but then thought "nah." They probably wouldn't go snooping through drawers but, if they did, they'd never admit they went snooping. So, even if they did find something, I'd probably never know, and what I don't know can't hurt me. That was my line of thinking anyway.
Being childless, we don't need to be concerned about kids finding out, which I would imagine to be rather awkward. I imagine that has become less of an issue with your daughters reaching adulthood.
DeleteIn our case, it's more surprising to me that Beth hasn't shared more with her sisters. Jodie, the one she is closest to, seems especially open minded and it's not too hard for me to imagine the conversation they might have. I've gone as far as telling Beth that I'm comfortable with that kind of sharing, but without much response. My guess is that if enough wine is consumed, it will all come out, but for now I fully believe that she has kept it to herself. Probably that's for the best, but the idea of her sisters and a few friends knowing is certainly enticing.
Kevin
It's a complicated picture with our daughters. My wife used to be most prone to sharing with the eldest, but I think that if that daughter was to be into this kind of lifestyle it would most likely be on the receiving end. And, honestly, she's high strung enough that there are times I think being reined in by a partner wouldn't be the worst thing for her. Our other daughter is harder to read. She's quieter and more controlled, and has shown some signs of bossiness where her significant other is concerned.
DeleteMy wife and I keep it private. As I’ve stated the one person who knows, is her childhood best friend. She has admitted to her that she punishes me thoroughly when I’m naughty. My wife won’t do it, but I would not mind being on the receiving end of a thrashing with her on the phone. My wife has told me that her husband needs a severe thrashing to whip him into shape.
DeleteT
Sounds like maybe it's not your wife's friend who needs to listen in on one but, rather, her husband. :-)
Delete"I mention that because it sometimes seems people treating the questions like a written quiz." LOL :) I'm guilty of that. I'm bad about returning to interplay with the other threads while they are active, too.
ReplyDeleteIn the spirit of not answering the quiz: would any husband admit to being disappointed by receiving an early warning, because it puts him in a position of not getting a spanking unless he flouts the game they have going?
I don't have any problem with people going back and commenting on older posts. But, it may be better to post such a comment on the current topic, simply because while I see every comment, readers may not see your comments on earlier posts. I don't have any problem with people commenting on a prior post in the current thread.
DeleteI don't think I've had quite that situation. The closest I can come to it is when she announces she is going to spank me for something, but then there isn't a follow-through. That situation raises a complex set of emotions, that I think would be similar to a warning instead of a spanking. Initially, I'm glad to have avoided the spanking. But, that's usually followed by some level of disappointment, because I know that as much as I hate them, the spankings do have a substantial benefit. Also, lately there have been long enough gaps between spankings that, by the time one roles around, my bottom has lost much of it's toughness and the spanking actually hurts much worse. Something I think it would be better overall if she spanked more often instead of threats and warnings.
“ In the spirit of not answering the quiz: would any husband admit to being disappointed by receiving an early warning, because it puts him in a position of not getting a spanking unless he flouts the game they have going?”
DeleteMW, that’s a really interesting aspect of the power dynamic when it comes to warnings. My wife might say something like, “Are you going to do as you’re told, or do I have to spank you?” There is a part of me that is tempted to say, “Yes, you need to spank me.” But I can’t say that for a couple of reasons. First, it would feel disrespectful, and I don’t like disrespecting her authority. Second, I feel that to provoke a spanking through defiance would make a mockery of the very concept of DD, thereby ruining it for both of us. I sometimes wonder whether my wife is aware of the psychological complexity of the power she has over me when she gives me warnings.
GH
I have been offline for a couple of weeks, but the topic suggestion came from me. I thought about it because of a paradox in my own behaviour. I have a spanking kink. It turns me on to fantasize about being spanked, yet I am totally responsive to spanking warnings and threats, which has meant that my wife could often control my behaviour without actually spanking me. For example, if she warns that I will be spanked if I do (or fail to do) a certain thing I will be spanked, I am careful to avoid the spanking, even though the threat of it turns me on. In fact, if I come close to a deadline to do something under threat of a spanking, I might even feel a little panicky and rush to get it done. I don’t fully understand why I do that, since I actually crave spankings and would probably pay a professional to spank me if I was single.
ReplyDeleteMy wife sometimes threatens to spank me when we are in public places. I think she usually does it when she thinks there is nobody within earshot, but it often makes me blush and look around nervously. Sometimes she will couple the warning with a smack to the seat of the pants. I am pretty sure people have seen that, but I don’t know whether anyone would interpret that as meaning that I am subject to DD. I have seen other women do that, and I am never sure whether it is a gesture of affection or a warning.
As I’ve mentioned before, my wife rarely delays spankings. If she gets fed up, she generally punishes immediately. So sometimes she doesn’t just warn me in public; she threatens to take down my pants spank me on the spot in public. Usually, she follows the warning with the threat, “Don’t think I won’t do it.” Obviously, on a rational level, I don’t think she would ever do it. But on an emotional level, the thought of it is so mind blowing that I respond as though I believe she might actually do it.
GH
I wonder whether the paradox results from some deeper, underlying kink, like her exercising authority to order a spanking even if one doesn't actually happen. I've known for a long that that's the case with me, because in the absence of some kind of expression of authority over me, the spanking itself does not play to any kink (not much anyway).
DeleteGH,
DeleteI’m with you on the kink aspect of spanking. I’m definitely a “spanko”, but go out of my way to avoid it. When I screw up, I want my wife to thrash the hell out of me immediately. Sometimes she does and sometimes doesn’t, depending on her mood. I’m completely turned on when she is mad and threatens me with a thrashing, but that goes away when the spanking begins. If something changed in our relationship and we split, I would definitely go online to look for a partner or disciplinarian to whip me into shape.
T
Dan, your idea that the paradox results from a deeper underlying kink makes sense to me. I guess I am turned on by the power dynamic of FLR, so just being reminded that her authority is backed up by the power to spank me effects me almost as powerfully as an actual spanking. As to her warnings that she could spank me in public if I’m not careful, I think we are both aware that there are legal and social barriers preventing her from doing it, but there is an implication that the internal power dynamic of our relationship would allow her to do it in the absence of external constraints. That’s why I found KOJ’s story of being taken aside and spanked at a party so mind blowing. It is possible for me to imagine a situation in which she felt the external constraints were loosened enough to follow through on the threat…and that I would, with a feeling of great embarrassment, feel compelled to submit to it.
DeleteT, I know what you mean. My wife and I were married for quite a long time before she became my disciplinarian, but once you have experienced DD, it is impossible to imagine going back to a vanilla relationship. I don’t think I could ever again be interested in a woman who wasn’t dominant.
GH
GH. I agree, having found DD, I can’t imagine being in a relationship without it. TG
DeleteT, TG, and GH, on the spanko spectrum, you guys are to the right of me by quite a bit, which may be ironic given how many cumulative hour I've put into this blog, which is a fraction of the time I've spent reading and thinking about DD. All that time and dedication notwithstanding, if my wife were to suddenly decide she wasn't into it anymore, I could walk away from it. I wouldn't be happy about it, but I could do it without resorting to a pro or anything like that. And, if something happened to our marriage or to my wife and I was looking for another relationship, I am sure I would hope to find someone who was at least open to this lifestyle, but it wouldn't be a deal-breaker for me if they weren't.
DeleteHi Dan,
ReplyDeleteMy wife almost never uses warnings, though we have talked about them quite a few times. The only time she really warns me is when I am using my phone excessively instead of paying attention to people, and she might send me a warning on messenger.
When that happens, I usually feel a bit indignant, and don't like it at all. However, after the flash of indignation passes, I tend to feel mildly reprimanded and a little meek. At this point, I usually realize that not only was she right, but this is exactly the type of control that I seek and need.
She has not really verbally threatened me in front of others, other than the occasional comment that would go over my head. However, for all the things I have said about witnesses in the past - and I have said a LOT - I really think I would get about as much if not more emotional impact from having my wife openly talking about spanking me or clearly threatening in front of others as I would if a spanking were ever actually witnessed.
-ZM
I wish my wife warned me about the excessive phone use. Instead, that is one she moved right to spanking on after we went to a dinner at which I was scrolling on my phone too much.
DeleteIndignant is a good word for what I generally feel on the few occasions she has really used warnings, though in retrospect it seems very sexy.
I don't know it for a fact, but I suspect I would find a witnessed spanking much more emotionally impactful than an open threat about it happening. But, it's very hard to predict.
Dan, it actually bothers me when we are out and people are on their phone. It reminded me of the time we were out at dinner and observed three women on their phones throughout the evening. The waiter actually said to them, well if you would put your phones down, you might actually enjoy the dinner and wine much more
Deletethan tweeting about it. I was proud he said something, because I wanted to. I refuse to be on my phone at dinner, unless I’m showing someone a picture or a video that everyone wants to see. I find it rude.
T
I've become a lot more sensitive about doing it myself over the years, but it bothers me when others do it only if it has some actual impact on me. Like, someone in front of me doesn't go when the light turns green, because he's looking at his phone. Or, someone is looking at it walking down the street and I have to move because they are too oblivious to watch where they are going. Otherwise, I figure if they want to miss life as it's passing them by, it's their problem.
DeleteIn the case where I got spanked for scrolling through my phone at dinner, we were out with one of daughter and her fiance, and the conversation turned to our other daughter and a very, very detailed conversation about her wedding plans. I was bored out of my school listening to endless talk about wedding venues, dresses, etc., so I started reading a very engrossing article on my phone.
Now I'm picturing a wife scrolling on her phone while her husband disrobes and sets everything up for his spanking so she can do it as fast as possible and get back to her phone.
DeleteSurely that is someone's fetish. :)
That is one of the great ironies of my wife spanking for phone use when out at dinner -- that is the ONLY circumstance in which she's not glued to her own phone or iPad. At home, including over dinner at home, she and her devices are inseparable. Even our adult kids get mad when talking to her on the phone because they know she's not-so-secretly surfing the web while talking to them.
DeleteOn phone use, I have a picture from 5 years ago from Xmas day. We used to have a family tradition of spending two hours or so down our local pub (normally a place I swerve due to its limited beer range and quality). The pic shows Mrs GL and my three daughters all staring at their phones (and ironically me using mine to record the moment), at the time it felt a irritable reflection of the world going wrong somewhere. Whenever I am reminded of/see the picture I both smile and feel somewhat sad at the same time. Modern world eh. Cheers GLM.
ReplyDeleteIt is a little sad, though I have to say I like your Xmas day tradition.
DeleteMy wife doesn't tend to give warnings: her view is that as a responsible adult, I should be taking note of the things I do that she dislikes and learning from them.
ReplyDeleteRather than giving me warnings, she either waits until the end of the day to address it, or if it is something requiring correction immediately, she asks to speak with me in a separate room, gets me to drop the back of my trousers and pants and performs a spanking right there and then with a Loopy Johnny, which doesn't tend to make much noise.
J
Anne initially really liked the Loopy Johnny, but eventual stopped using it because it had a tendency to loop back and hit her hand.
DeleteToday my wife accused me of being extremely crabby and she asked me if I need to have my ass blistered. She told me that I was right on the edge of earning a spanking. I found myself quickly backtracking and saying that I did not need a spanking and that I would straighten up. It's funny that all I can think about is her spanking me, but, when I have the chance, I quickly discern that reality will be agony. There is absolutely no way that I am going to put myself over her knee of discipline willingly! I'd like to think I have a little more brains than that. So I will go back inside my head of spanking fantasies knowing that my fear caused me to avoid what I so desperately need.
ReplyDeleteDavid, I know *exactly* what you're talking about. There have been so many times that I've done the same thing, doing anything to avoid a spanking that I don't want at that moment but, deep inside, I know I desperately need.
Delete