Hello all. Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.
Perhaps like many of you, I will be spending today finishing up some Christmas
shopping and wrapping presents. I felt like I was on top of things this year, and yet somehow
Christmas managed to sneak up on me yet again. Thankfully, I did get a lot of the shopping done a couple of weeks ago, so the weekend will be a little less frantic than might otherwise be the case.
I had planned to do a post this week about reporting and keeping track of punishable offenses, to follow up on some of Elizabeth's comments. But, I think I will put that off until next week and, instead, just use this week's post to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. I feel like I made some progress this year in personalizing some of the formerly electronic relationships associated with this blog. It was kind of an interesting year in that respect. I had face-to-face meeting with a fellow blogger who is on the other end of the paddle. It was an act of trust by both of us, and one worth taking. I also deepened the quality of the contacts with a couple of others. I hope to do more of that in the next year, as I come to care less and less if people know about this important part of our lives. I'm hoping that's how this holiday season and 2019 play out for all of us -- more genuine and authentic experiences with interesting people who we care about and who care about us.
I had planned to do a post this week about reporting and keeping track of punishable offenses, to follow up on some of Elizabeth's comments. But, I think I will put that off until next week and, instead, just use this week's post to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. I feel like I made some progress this year in personalizing some of the formerly electronic relationships associated with this blog. It was kind of an interesting year in that respect. I had face-to-face meeting with a fellow blogger who is on the other end of the paddle. It was an act of trust by both of us, and one worth taking. I also deepened the quality of the contacts with a couple of others. I hope to do more of that in the next year, as I come to care less and less if people know about this important part of our lives. I'm hoping that's how this holiday season and 2019 play out for all of us -- more genuine and authentic experiences with interesting people who we care about and who care about us.
While I don't have any real topic for this week, if you have an Domestic Discipline themed gifts or activities in mind for the holidays, please share with the group. I actually do have one small gift for Anne that is discipline related, but since she has become a frequent reader of the blog, I will wait 'til after Christmas to reveal it here.
I hope you all get what you want--or at least what you desperately need and deserve--this Christmas, regardless of your particular DD orientation.
So, Merry Christmas everyone. Be safe and be happy.
Merry Christmas my friend and everyone on here. I’m sure some of us won’t be sitting with comfort and joy all season. 🎅
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas! We are busy getting ready to host our children and grandchildren. On our feet a lot cleaning and decorating, which is good for Frank because he can't sit comfortably after Friday's reckoning! Are our boys naughtier during the holidays, or do we wives just notice misbehavior more?
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Merry Christmas, Elizabeth! Thank you for all your recent contribution, and I hope you'll continue to be a part of our discussions in 2019. Best wishes to you, Frank and your family.
DeleteAs for your question about misbehaving more this time of year, speaking only for myself, check out the first picture in my September 8, 2018 post. It says it all. :-)
Hi Elizabeth,
DeleteI know I speak for many in telling you how refreshing you’re no nonsense comments are as well as more motivation for me to become better at self-reporting. BTW, your question referring to male deteriorating behavior this time of the year is very interesting since consistently I receive around a third of my discipline between Thanksgiving and early January. I have never really figured it out but it’s a real phenomenon I believe many others experience.
Alan
May the heady wine of kindness and and generosity suffuse your days with carefree abandon. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tomy. I hope you have a great Christmas. Thank you for your participation here and your friendship.
DeleteDan
ReplyDeletePeter and I wish you and all the readers The Best of Everything. The need for DD in many is more than being punished for bad deeds. Often it is how some men and women need that act of submission to express their
devotion. I know that Peter is never more loving as when he embraces me with a very sore bottom.
So to all who have that need remember you can just ask when in need. And to those who hold the paddle
show some mercy and dont wait to be asked.
Merry Holidays
anna
Thanks, Anna. I hope you, Peter and your family have a very Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays!
DeleteDan
Anna,
DeleteWhat Peter experiences in being able to express his devotion after discipline is something I experience also and have spent much time trying to figure out why the love just flows when I should be resentful. But I now believe the submission of fully accepting often severe punishment somehow strips away my deep defenses and fears that otherwise get in the way of expressing deeply felt emotions
Alan
Alan
DeleteHave you ever been able to approach your lady and merely ask for a return to that special place?
It might be worth the try! Wishing you well and hoping your new year brings you all you need.
Peter
Hi Peter
DeleteThank you for the good wishes. We talk a lot about what being punished does to me, so she understands what happens and agrees with me that the punishments she administers seem to free me from expressing some powerful emotions. On the basis of some excellent advice Helen offered a few weeks ago we had a long talk about why she forbade lovemaking immediately after a spanking. She was right to do so and Helen was right about why she was doing it and just talking about it resolved a long standing issue that I was causing. I am still a bit ecstatic about that but it really reinforced my belief that communication and being open is the key to successful DD. Good luck in the New Year with your adventure and keep us posted as much as you are comfortable. My wife has hinted we are close to sticking a toe in (with her sister and husband) but I think so far it’s mostly a threat. But it does fascinate to think what it would be like to be disciplined in front of my wife and with another male present. So your experiences are really timely for us.
Alan
Merry Christmas, Dan & Anne. I hope you both have a great holiday.
ReplyDeleteToo busy here to really have much of an inclination for anything interesting.....and way too tense and irritable to even want it. No DD gifts here although I did make Rosa a special handmade item that I will probably blog about when I have time.
I hope the tenseness and irritability go away today so you can enjoy the holiday. I plan to spend the day watching Christmas movies and getting fat.
DeleteMerry Christmas Dan and Anne. Hope you have a fun festive season
ReplyDeletebottoms up
Red
Same to you, Red!
DeleteI'm pretty sure I'll be getting some FLR 'owned male' themed gifts this year. So if anyone is out one day and sees a couple jogging, or maybe shopping, displaying the up-arrow-in-a-ring, please come by and say 'hi'!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the forum this year, Dan. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to All!
CrimsonKing
I'll keep an eye out for that!
DeleteMerry Christmas and Happy New Year to all. It is this time of year, I always recall a Christmas memory of mine. I don't remember if I related this story here in the past or not, so if I have, please forgive me. I was the year I actually received a Christmas spanking from Santa Claus. I was living and working in Manhattan with my second wife, but first full time Dominant in a 24/7 DD household. It was Dec 23rd and I had turned in a bit early after a hectic holiday afternoon. I guess it was about 1 am when I felt the covers being yanked off me. My Dominant was there and quickly sat down on the back of my lower legs. I looked up thru sleepy eyes and there he was in full costume...Santa Claus. He placed a heavy hand on my lower back immobilizing me completely. He held a wood paddle in his right hand and paddled me until I was loudly wailing with tears flowing freely. He finished when my cheeks were the color of his suit. I learned later this Santa was Dom friend of hers who happen to have a Santa gig that night at a nearby venue. To this day, I receive a spanking on Christmas and it all began with a spanking from Santa Claus.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas everyone!!!
That's Christmas -- all about the traditions!
DeleteNow that's a very heart-warming; er I mean bun-warming story. I hope she begins a new (additional) tradition for New Years
DeleteWell, Santa IS the ultimate arbiter of the naughty list after all, so if HE thinks you deserve a spanking, it's kind of hard to deny it!
Delete-ZM
Thanks, Tommy, I am not with that Dominant any longer however we were together for the New Years of 1999. From her, not Santa Claus, I took 2000 swats on the turn of the century.
DeleteBad_boy and Z, Yes, you are correct. I could not deny it nor prevent it. It was truly a Christmas spanking I will never forget. It did begin a tradition which has lasted until this day even with a different Dominant Mistress. I wish I could get a nice picture over Santa's knee being spanked. I'd make a Christmas card out of it.
DeleteDAN
ReplyDeletePeter & I both wish you and Anne only the best of everything ! Know how grateful we all are for
this blog!
Love
A& P
Anna and Peter, same to you. Have a great Christmas!
ReplyDeleteDan's Christmas wish for all of us was "I hope you all get what you want--or at least what you desperately need and deserve--this Christmas, regardless of your particular DD orientation."
ReplyDeleteSince reading it two days ago the part about "desperately needing" has been rattling around in my brain. It's "cute" to refer to my experience of the DWC life with Aunt Kay as having had "adult supervision". It's cute, but it's true too.
While she had no interest in bossing every part of my life around, she would firmly step in when she felt it was necessary. It was a big part of what made me successful and content.
I can't picture anyone else filling that role. So I'm stepping up my game as best I can. Sometimes I make choices based on the fact that there is no adult supervision and other times I am able to'"hear her guidance" and expectations and do what she would have wanted.
There have been a couple of occasions when I know, without a doubt, that I would have been wailing while she applied her implements of choice. That's when I worry about whether or not my self-supervision will be enough.
Just musing out loud to the community. It's good we are all here together.
I think this hits on what separates DD relationships from both “spanko” interests and Femdom — the focus on correcting and preventing bad behavior and on forcing self-control on those of us who lack it.
DeleteHey all!
ReplyDeleteMy wife, Ry, got me a very nice leather belt for Christmas. She broke my last one, which was admittedly poor quality, during a disciplinary session.
We were talking about symbols. We know that some people wear the "owned" jewelry, some people wear a key on their necklace or ankle if their man is in chastity, but neither of those things describe our relationship. I don't think there is anything that specifically says, "I'm a disciplinarian," so Ry has decided that her low key way of showing that she is a disciplinary wife is that she'll wear her grandmother's pearl necklace more often. It is elegant and a little old fashioned, but she pulls it off. It's understated, but can still be brought up in conversation, and it is a reminder to me to be on especially good behavior when I see them.
Best,
Ez and Ry
Hi Ez. As far as I know, you are right, there are no symbols specific to DD relationships. But, pearls do seem to me to be associated with authority and female wisdom. They are hard for someone who lacks a degree of worldliness to pull off
DeleteInteresting. I did not know that about pearls having an "aura" of any kind. But it gives me something new to think about.
DeleteWell, another explanation is I just have a thing for older women, and older women tend to wear pearls. ;-)
DeleteMe too for sure. And I'll be adding that little visual to my viewing pleasure.
DeleteWell, I never would have thought of pearls that way, but I guess now I will! :) The truth is almost anything can be a symbol, at least for people who are in on it. After all, many of the symbols we are surrounded by only have special meaning because we have given it to them.
Delete-ZM
This is Elizabeth's Frank. Back in the day, one of the spanking publishers -- Nu-West or Shadow Lane or ? -- had for sale a pin that was a red hand. They suggested that spankos wear it to identify themselves to other spankos. And if asked about it by a vanilla, say you were a member of the secret "Red Hand Society" and you could not explain the meaning. Clearly it didn't catch on, but it was the most obvious symbol I have ever seen ....
ReplyDeleteHi Frank. I was thinking the same thing -- to be good as a symbol, it can't be too obvious. Otherwise, we should all be walking around wearing paddle pendants.
DeleteThis was something Aunt Kay wanted to do for a long time and she actually had some jewelry samples produced about 20 years ago.
DeleteMaybe someone who reads this blog will pick up on it and become the producer of such a thing.
What did her samples depict?
DeleteThis is Frank. Another symbol submissive girls would wear is a choker necklace. Particularly one that looked like it couldn't come off.
DeleteI think that kind of 'collaring' is still a thing for submissives, though as a shared symbol that one seems to me to be TOO subtle, because how can you distinguish between choker as symbol of of submission and as just fashion?
DeleteThe prototype pendants Aunt Kay had made were little paddles.
DeleteThe trouble with secret symbols in this internet age is that there are ( almost) no secrets. Maybe we need something like a esoteric handshake, distinctive body language or even special marking on the body to identify us to fellow DD's. Or we can just keep our eyes open as well as our hears ( as Peter and Ted apparently did) and see what happens. In the days before homosexuality became more open and mainstream I always assumed I knew many people who were homosexual but invisible ( to me)It turned out there were many I never suspected until they "came out" Yet back then as I understand it many ( most) homosexuals) were able to identify each other frequently. Maybe we need some of our gay friends to tell us the trick because most of us while welcoming contacts with others in Dd don't have a clue how to make those contacts ( include myself in that category by the way) Interestingly my wife thinks she can often identify especially men who re involved in DD. Maybe she can, maybe not but she has done it on two occasions I have personal knowledge of.
ReplyDeleteAlan
For whatever reason, when comes to figuring out sexual orientation, I might as well be blind. Can't tell you how often someone has mentioned that a colleague is gay, and I never had a clue. That is interesting that your wife has identifed DD men at least twice. I can think of only one time that I thought I caught a DD or FLR "vibe" from another couple. The wife was someone I used to work with. We were at a holiday party, and I noticed when she "asked" him to get her a drink, it really wasn't phrased as a request. It was an order, and one that he instantly followed. I have also wondered from time to time whether someone in the gym who was being very careful to put underwear on before letting a towel drop might be covering up a striped or bruised ass. Though, I think it was KD who pointed out that a chastity device might be another explanation.
Deleteor perhaps both a chastity cage and a few bruises.
DeleteHappy New Year!
Peter
or perhaps both a chastity cage and a few bruises.
DeleteHappy New Year!
Peter
You're right, Peter. One doesn't exclude the other.
Delete