Saturday, November 4, 2017

The Forum - Vol. 228 - If They Only Knew . . .

Nail up some indecency in plain sight over your door; from that time forward you will be rid of all respectable people, the most insupportable folk God has created. -- Paul Guaguin 

Hello all.  Welcome back to The Forum.  Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationships.  I hope you all had a good week.  I'm in the midst of an ongoing work nightmare so, unfortunately, I am going to have to keep this post pretty short.  Also, just a heads-up, the work project I am on may require me to take a break from the blog for three or four weeks, so don't be surprised if I post a notice saying it is going on hiatus for a short time.  But, I do have time today for a short one. 

A couple of weeks ago, when we were talking about expectation setting and rules, Glenmore commented that he and his wife keep a list of rules posted in their closet:

1. My Wife is always right
2. I will not criticize or put down my wife's opinions
3. I will not place blame on others - especially my wife
4. I will not interrupt my wife when she is speaking
5. When in doubt refer to rule # 1.

Elegant and to the point.  For purposes of the current discussion, however, I'm more interested in the fact the rules are posted than in their content.  There are lots of degrees to which people in these relationships have "outed" themselves.   Some not at all.  Some fully open and out there.  For those who are not fully out,  are there some things that are out and open, or have been left so purposefully or on accident, that at least hint at the DD or FLR side or your relationship?  Perhaps you have accidentally left some spanking implement out and someone saw it or could have seen it?  Glenmore has his list of rules, which is apparently somewhat openly displayed -- to anyone snooping in his closet.  Maybe you keep a spanking journal in a place someone could find it.  Maybe a fraternity or sorority paddle hanging on the wall and that sees more current use than a casual visitor might imagine? It could also be something other than a tangible object.  Perhaps a word or phrase she uses in public that you know means, "She's going to paddle me when we get home," but that people around might or might not pick up on.

I hope you all have a great week.

32 comments:

  1. Shortly after we were married, J. decided to have the martinet hang on the kitchen wall - where it might (and did!) catch the attention of her women friends... a few of whom even watched her using it! She also likes to (casually!) leave her hairbrush displayed on a side table when they are visiting - and, again, may occasionally use it 'if needed'. Short of such (relatively infrequent!) "sessions", J. may simply warn me of an impending spanking within earshot of her friends... and even of relative strangers... The paddlings and whippings I often get in hotel rooms when we are traveling are also meant to be overheard - and (although we have, thus far, never been caught "in the act"), so are the whippings she sometimes administers in the open air when we are out for a walk in the woods, and she cuts herself a "proper" switch!
    L.

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    1. Thanks, L. It sounds like you two are essentially "out" for all intents and purposes.

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  2. Since we've been 'empty nesters' we can be a bit more casual about where we leave implements or the list of rules , but it they are usually hidden away out of sight in the bedroom closer.
    However , she is not above dropping a discrete comment.
    A recent example was when I had violated one of our rules earlier in the day which was to be dealt with later as we were entertaining friends that evening.
    When we were at the dinner table with our friends I interrupted my wife when she was speaking -another violation of the same rule.
    She simply said to me "Didn't we discuss this earlier?"
    Then she added , "Well you'll be getting double now."
    Not sure if our friends picked up on it but I certainly did!

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    1. I'm sure that comment had them wondering, at the very least!

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    2. Based on some of her comments to me the next day , I'm pretty sure that one of our friends had a pretty good idea what I was in for!

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  3. We have a spanking bench that was in plain sight in the living room where we lived 8 months ago, and in our currentt apartment. No one has commented on it, although Merry has gone out of her way to mention it to at least one visitor.
    a couple of times, Merry has said to some friend or other, in ref to me, "He should have a spanking," but the other person chuckled, as if he or she assumed she was joking.

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    1. Depending on the configuration of the bench, perhaps they think you two are gymnasts. :-)

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  4. Since Dev has long brown hair, leaving a hairbrush out is not an uncommon site and would raise no suspicion. Having a kitchen chair pulled out would be the same but we " know" the hidden meaning. Today we came across a souvenir we got several years ago. It has various soaps on a paddle. We don't need any soap. When we are out she may say " we'll discuss this when we get home ". A simple statement with a serious meaning. When home , all she says is " bring me the paddle ". That makes me weak in the knees. In my office on my day planner I put an asterisk with a number. Anyone can see but nobody know the code. It means a spanking was given. The number indicates the severity on the 1-10 scale. Most levels are in the 6-7 range. A few months ago out in the woodshed it was an 8.5. I've never had a 10 and curious if I could take it ?

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    1. Thanks, Jr. It sounds like you and others have wives who are relatively comfortable dropping verbal hints in public.

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  5. What Shilo wrote above is about it.

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  6. The 'public/secret' synbol of our FLR/DD relationship are pantyhose packages.

    My wife and I are both fans of Dress Barn's brand. My wife likes the quality, and I love them for the clear FLR message on the package: "Take Control"

    https://dtpmhvbsmffsz.cloudfront.net/posts/2017/02/02/58937868981829d51d00d902/m_58937868981829d51d00d905.jpg

    Naturally, these packages are scattered all over our bedroom and bathrooms. If someone asked, I'd certainly agree my wife is "in control" without offering further details.

    And I always look forward to shopping for these with her - she'll pick them out, and hand them to me to make the purchase. I'm sure the women at the store know what's going on - they probably see it all the time!

    CrimsonKing

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    1. I am probably obtuse, but I admit that one would be subtle enough to go right over my head.

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    2. I see what you mean, but you can be sure there's nothing subtle when the saying is turned into action!

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  7. My wife is private except for her sister where everything is out in the open and NO secrets. Its likely her mother knows quite a bit but not confirmed. My former girlfriend had several hardwood sauna brushes she used ( but no sauna). She left these around the house where anyone could see them although most were kept in the bathroom or on her night stand.She also was the first to call me out in public by grabbing my ass and giving me that long chagrined look that told me I was in trouble or soon would be. She also often told friends visiting I was " well trained" when I pleased her.My wife uses a version of that too today but she is more likely to verbalize the message. I have no way of knowing if anyone picked up on any of this although much of it happened before spanking became more mainstream , so today I think some would guess.
    Alan

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    1. Hi Alan. We have a wooden bath brush from the Body Shop that is left beside a bathtub that is accessible to some visitors. I wonder whether anyone has ever bought one of those particular brushes as anything but a spanking implement!

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    2. I have wonder the same thing from time to time as we have two of them ( long handled) mostly out plus a short version used for traveling not usually out). My comment about spanking being more mainstream may apply here and more people may be picking up on it. The shorter one never seemed to me to be much more than a special purpose spanking hairbrush and I would read more into seeing one of them sitting around then the long handled ones.
      Alan
      Alan

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  8. We live alone with no youngers passing through, so our list of infraction/punishments is displayed on the spare room wall. We often use this room to administer my spankings. Some toys are left out while others are put away. To my knowledge, no one has inquired about anything in plain sight. While out, she never offers an audible warning or clue about an impending discipline session. She does have a certain look, which I recognize and know what is in store for me. As soon as we get home and the door is closed, she will order.."Get out of your clothes, you're getting spanked".

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    1. As we get older, I find I am less careful about putting implements away, though not quite so cavalier that I consciously leave them out in plane sight.

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  9. As we are empty nesters we are somewhat less careful of implements being left in plain sight. When our kids were in the house on a few occasions we think they saw my tawse and we had concern about what they may have thought. I am pretty sure they suspect that I am physically dominant. Bart says the idea of our kids knowing I spank him is very uncomfortable . While we don’t know if they know, we are somehow both convinced that the idea of me discipline their father is less odd than the idea of him spanking me? While we haven’t ever discussed our relationship with anyone my sister does know from an incident many years ago.

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    1. Thanks, Sylvia. I agree with you -- I think most kids would be more accepting of F/m discipline than M/f. I don't have any evidence backing this up, but I think that many kids, particularly boys, would be concerned about whether mom getting spanked was abusive. I'm not sure they would have that same concern if Mom was physically dominant (though they might think it was weird). I honestly don't share Bart's discomfort about hour kids possibly knowing. Not that I would go out of my way to share it with them, but if they were to find out, I really don't think I would care. My wife very much does care, at least for now. But, she is so tight with the kids, I can see her opening up about it as they become adults and their relationship becomes more "friends" like.

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    2. Same here. Ours would be horrified at mf discipline, but would probably think of fm discipline as normal.

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  10. We have our kitchen spoon and plaque that is pretty clear about the domestic situation here. We also have an old engraving print of a Colonial-era gent being punished by his mistress hanging on our living room wall. While our bedroom is not usually open to guests, anyone venturing in there would see enough to know what we are about.

    And of course our Halloween "village" is VERY graphic.....and anyone who attends our annual party can easily take note of the various scenarios unfolding throughout "Sunnydale".

    Not too many secrets here....visually or verbally.

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  11. Dan, Bart has felt that while the kids would most likely be less surprised and offended by our arrangment , the idea of our daughters knowing that I spank their dad would make them feel
    Their dad is a weak man. While I understand Bart’s need to be disciplined he feels embarrassed.

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    1. While I don't share that concern anymore, my wife certainly does. I look at it this way. I have worked my ass off to provide for my kids. They have seen me get up early every day to go to a job that keeps them well clothed, fed and having a choice of schools. Despite a crushing work and travel schedule, I've been to way more soccer games, science fairs and school plays than I've missed. I don't play golf, specifically because I didn't want one more thing keeping me away from family. There are a lot of things I gave up so they could have the lives they have, and I've always been there for them when they've needed me. If, despite all that, something like a consensual spanking relationship with their mother made them think less of me, either I've failed as a parent or I've raised total ingrates.

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  12. 1. My Wife is always right
    2. I will not criticize or put down my wife's opinions
    3. I will not place blame on others - especially my wife
    4. I will not interrupt my wife when she is speaking
    5. When in doubt refer to rule # 1.

    These are all important not because they are actually always true (even the most fair, level headed DWC will make an occasional mistake), but because (in my estimation) about 60% or 70% of a DWC household is about male discipline, but the other 30% or 40% is about female empowerment. I say the success of a FemDom household is not measured by the amount of corporal punishment, but rather by the lack of nagging (which CP has now taken the place of).

    Carl H

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  13. Dan
    Will be candid and admit that now that our boys are young teens I do worry about it. But given the choice of them knowing or of Anna and I stopping, I will take the chance. I am a good devoted Dad and like you Dan give up things to be more a part of their lives.
    If one or both found out and asked me why, I would tell them that their mom is the glue that holds our family together. If I fall down on the job being spanked reminds me of how important it is to show her respect. I am man enough to say Anna knows best!

    Peter

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    1. Hi Peter. That is basically where I am. I don't want my kids to know or feel any desire to enlighten them about that part of our relationship, but I have gotten to where I am comfortable that the sky won't fall if it happens. And, I do feel like being so secretive about it for so many years really did hold us back.

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  14. Only my best friend knows. And we have never talked about it.

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  15. The other day Mrs GL made a comment in earshot of our kids. To anyone else it would have just sounded strange, the words were " sooner or later, you choose. But I knew she was asking when did I want the spanking I was due for the previous weekends drunken episode. I felt a bit embarrished that I knew the context and one day the kids might work it out. For the record I answered sooner. Cheers Good Life Mickey.

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  16. My wife is generally private and quiet on the matter, key word is "generally."
    There are times though that she seems very very comfortable speaking out in front of others, mostly strangers.I've also learned that if she gets really angry she can go verbally almost without restraint. So I walk gingerly and change my attitude quickly if I'm getting her really upset. (Which usually takes a lot but I've been known to push too far.)
    In public with strangers, such as malls, stores, restaurants, I've been threatened with discipline and she has used the word spanking as well. It's not often but again when certain lines are crossed there is seemingly no turning back.
    One day after too many hours of shopping for my liking, and after more than many quiet discreet warnings, which included her asking if I needed (or wanted) the belt, the axe fell. At the checkout counter of a dept. store my attitude reared it's ugly head and sealed my fate. Luckily we were the only ones at that cashier, it was on the end and the next one over was closed. My wife reprimanded me for whining and complaining and said I needed a serious attitude adjustment.
    The older cashier commented that "shopping makes some men get fussy, much like children." "and spoiled brats" my wife added.
    The cashier bagged our stuff and said "Boys Will be boys, I guess no matter what age." She laughed a bit being light hearted with my wife who was still visibly not pleased with me. I was taking the bags as they were packed. (Sorry if too many details, not sure what to leave in or out.)
    My wife dropped the bomb,as she was using her ATM card, totally serious and straight faced said in response to the boys will be boys comment, "And some boys still need a trip across Momma's lap. And that's where this boy's going."
    I felt my face get warm, I couldn't look up and just took the bags acting as if nothing was wrong and I was just being quiet.
    My wife signed the debit screen and put away her wallet and glasses continued saying something on the lines of, "Yep, as soon as we get home. I know just how to handle this."
    The cashier handed my wife the last bag, I think she may have become uncomfortable, and said well if nothing else he's quiet.
    My wife handed me the bag and said as she looked into my eyes, "Because he knows he's going across my knee, and he won't be so quiet then."
    I was told to apologize for my attitude which I did and turned to leave with my wife. I couldn't wait until we got out the doors and then when we made it into the car.
    When we got home it had been a while since I'd been over my wife's lap but she made sure I wouldn't forget for a good long time. We've been back to that store but thankfully I've never seen that cashier. B.A.

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