Friday, November 17, 2017

Love Our Lurkers Day(s)

Hello all.  Let's bring this week to a close, with another edition of Love Our Lurkers, organized as always by Hermione over at https://hermionesheart.blogspot.com.  Two days of inviting our Lurkers, i.e. those who visit but never talk, to step up to the virtual microphone.  You can post anonymously, so no need to be shy.  It doesn't need to be anything profounder or on point, because this week there is no point!  If you care to, tell us a little about yourself and what brought you to check out this and other blogs devoted to Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationships. 

For all the regulars, have a great week.

35 comments:

  1. Hi Dan , I am the female submissive in our relationship but I still come here to snaek on your view point
    love Jan, xx

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    Replies
    1. Hi Jan. Thanks for joining in. While the blog may be geared mainly toward F/m relationships, you're welcome any time.

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  2. Dan hello, I visit but lurk. Same as Jan, a submissive in our relationship but like to hear views of different FLR.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  3. G'day Dan, I've just found you via Hermiones list. Happy lol days, hope you make heaps of new friends.
    Hugs Lindy xx
    DOWNUNDER DREAMING

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  4. HI I'm a little girl to Daddy and I've just found you via hermione's post. Will stop by to read more in the future. Nice to meet you and Happy LOL Days!

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  5. Hello Dan,
    I'm a lurker for many years. I'm 53 and married for 18 years. Now it's time go say "thank you" for so much support. You, and others like Kathy, Mz Kaylee, subhub in phx and so on, had helped me to come out of the closet.
    I had confessed to my wife that a FLM is a big dream for me. Meanwhile every saturday i read your blog entries aloud and we discuss the themes. We have integrated Domestic Discipline thru the aid of Maintenance. My name at home has changed to Colette and I like to do my chores.
    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
    Colette

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    Replies
    1. Hi Colette. Glad to hear you are "out" and that your wife gets it.

      Dan

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  6. Hi Dan,
    I have to admit, I am a lurker. My wife and I began a FLR about a year ago when I realized I was very submissive, and was happiest when my wife took charge and i could serve her. Ive been patiently waiting for her to impose more discipline on me for breaking rules. I've shared your blog with her to give her a little nudge towards more discipline. I don't want to be topping from the bottom, so I've pretty much let her decide when to punish, after all,she is in charge. I look forward to your blog every week. Thanks, Mid Michigan male

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  7. Hey I am the female submissive in my relationship but it's always so interesting to read about the other side. Happy LOL day Dan!

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    1. Hi Daisy! Thanks for stopping by. I hope you'll continue to do so.

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  8. Hi Dan, Happy LOL Days! I'm married, 29+ years, to my husband Rob. We started ttwd about five or so years ago. I'm submissive, and Rob spanks me. We love our dynamic for so many reasons! I too enjoy reading about different viewpoints- the FLR. Hope that you are enjoying the celebration! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    Replies
    1. Hi Katie. It seems like a whole bunch of my lurkers are female. You learn something new everyday. :-) Thanks for dropping by!

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  9. Hi Dan: Happy LOL day. Hope this LOL day brings you new readers, and specially new comments that are from real people giving or receiving spankings
    bottoms up
    Red

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    1. Hey Red. Yes, real people giving or receiving real spankings is a worthy goal!

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  10. First time here, but thought I'd say hello and happy lol day. Hope you meet some of your lurkers today!
    --Baker

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  11. I am one of the LOL, I have written 20 or 3 times but most of my experience with FLR and DD is form 35plus year ago and do not feel it is pertinent to today's activities. When my X started down this road there was no internet and as for i know nothing was written about, do not even think the terms were available.
    TDK

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    Replies
    1. TDK, I actually think you story is all the more interesting because it happened so long ago and before information on this was widely available.

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  12. Dan
    I am a lurker but I have posted in the recent past. I enjoy your blog a lot. I’m pretty happy in my marriage and my wife disciplines me when it’s necessary. I also wear a cb often. I think of both things as tools that keep me in line. My wife has made a couple of kinky punishment threats over the years when I’ve crossed the line with my behavior like wear a dress when go out together or have my head shaved (one of your regular contributors wrote he did shave his head). It was my good luck that she never carried through on those punishments so I just don’t press my luck.

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  13. Hi Dan and all --- I've been a lurker but hope to be more actively involved in your excellent blog. I wrote about a week ago about how my wife and I have been working on a set of rules for me to follow in the future to improve my behavior. Here's what we've come up (Thanks to Glenmore for the inspiration):

    Husbands' Rules
    1. My wife is always right.
    2. I will always obey my wife.
    3. I will never criticize my wife's opinions.
    4. I will not talk back to my wife or give her attitude.
    5. I will not put blame on others, especially my wife.
    6. I will always listen attentively to my wife.
    7. I will not interrupt my wife while she is speaking.
    8. I will always act in a cheerful and respectful manner when in the presence of my wife.
    9. I will always strive to please my wife.
    10. When in doubt refer to Rules 1 and 9.

    These apparently will be our public rules. She says she has no problem with others seeing them. She may require me to recite them in the presence of family and friends if my behavior requires.

    We also have a few rules restricting my ability to orgasm without her permission. However, those will be kept private.

    vic

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  14. Dan, while my wife and I have each posted a few times the note above points to the fact that you are providing a valuable platform . I harbored feelings that I was strange and alone before the era of the internet. I was very embarrassed and at a loss to understand my submissive nature in specific situations and my fixation with the idea of being controlled and spanked by an older woman . It’s comforting and informative, thanks

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    1. Hi Bart. Thanks for joining in. I agree the abundance of information about DD is probably informative. For me, it was literally "transformative," because I didn't have those desires you talk about *until* stumbling onto DD on the internet. But, however, we each came to be here, it's good.

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    2. I remember way back when I was in school 50'a and 60's I wanted to be spanked and thought I was the only person in the world that would want that. For years I tried to understand WHY but never could come up the any reason for it.
      TDK

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  15. Dan, I am a fan of your blog and have been in a FLR disciplinary relationship for about three years now. I don't visit much, as one of the rules in our FLR is that I am not supposed to be accessing any sites of a sexual nature, so in this case I am breaking the rules just lurking. I introduced my wife to the idea of spanking about 4 years ago and it evolved into an FLR about three years back. It's a hopeful story for others I think, as she was open to the idea but not comfortable with the role when we started. She was always very opinionated, but not directly dominant, more passively aggressive. When I encouraged her to allow herself to both be comfortable with expressing her desires, and gave her the tools to voice herself effectively, it really dawned on her the benefits. When we started the spankings were not very severe, she wasn't that comfortable with it and was afraid of hurting me. Over the years she has allowed herself to be the strong women she has always been. Now she says she would never go back, that the paddle is 'her voice'. She says she could never have a relationship where she didn't have that balance of power. So, in my story I want others to know that if they are patient with their wives they may just get what they want. I am spanked when she decides, and it is difficult for me to anticipate as often I am disciplined when I would not expect it, as a result of my being out of touch with her feelings. She has become pretty skilled with a paddles and tawse. Fortunately for me, while we have a cane it's not her go to implement. She doesn't use a warm up, they are disciplinary spankings with me over the end of the bed and I am expected to hold position. Regularly but not always, I am spanked to tears. It really works for us, and gets us past arguing in circles very often. It also resets my frame of mind, I need to be disciplined regularly or I feel a sense of being neglected, and she has learned to recognize that when I am behaving not just quite as a myself, that I need a spanking. I am so thankful for what we have. To others, I know it is difficult but give your wife a chance to see the benefits of this dynamic herself, try not to be too aggressive and it may work out for you too. --Easy

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    1. Hi Easy. "Now she says she would never go back, that the paddle is 'her voice'. She says she could never have a relationship where she didn't have that balance of power." Love those lines!

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    2. To Easy: I understand how you have come to understand - and appreciate - the way your wife came to assume a dominant role in your marriage. In my case, no 'encouragement' was needed, as N. (my late first wife) had decided - even before we were married - that I should be spanked (or whipped) as she thought fit... and she did! Not only that, but she made a point of occasionally spanking me under the eyes of a few of her close fiends - one of whom was J. - whom I later married - and who gladly followed her example... with some "improvements" of her own :-)
      L.

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  16. My wife and I are experimenting with FLR with mixed results. My wife likes that the household chores are divided more evenly now. I like that her expectations are stated more clearly and she no longer complains about me not doing something I didn't even realize needed to be done.

    She hasn't really gotten comfortable dealing with the occasions when I forget a task or do it poorly. Initially, she spanked me with just her hand. I told her that didn't have the effect of making want to be more diligent, so she started using a hairbrush. I have since purchased a paddle for her. She has learned to wield the paddle with enough force to make me want the session to end well before it does end. However, the effect wears off after a couple days.

    When perusing cuckolding porn (a fantasy of mine - not something we do), I notice that some of the sites promote putting husbands in chastity cages. That seems miserable to me. If that was part of my punishment, I would work very hard at avoiding punishment. I haven't told my wife about that. Part of me feels obligated to tell her and the other part of me is scared to.

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    1. Hi Anonymous. "I like that her expectations are stated more clearly and she no longer complains about me not doing something I didn't even realize needed to be done." Yes, that's a big positive step.

      Like you, I'm not into cages. And not at all into cuckolding.

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  17. Dear Anonymous - even when you sign is as “Anonymous” (as I do), please leave a name at the bottom of your post so everyone will know who to address.

    Anon says “Now she says - - that the paddle is 'her voice'.”

    Carl says: FLR is not just about male discipline - it is also about female empowerment through leadership - and a strict woman with a stout wooden paddle can lead a man to both better male discipline and more female empowerment faster and better than anything else I can think of.

    Anon says: “ - - often I am disciplined when I would not expect it, as a result of my being out of touch with her feelings. - - “

    Carl says: Congratulations, you have clearly crossed over from playing spanking games to true discipline. Your wife is disciplining you according to her terms.

    Anon says: “It really works for us, and gets us past arguing in circles very often.”

    Carl says: One of the side benefits of DD is domestic tranquility - it just puts an end to the circuitous arguing that goes on in just about every other household

    Anon says: “It also resets my frame of mind, I need to be disciplined regularly or I feel a sense of being neglected, and she has learned to recognize that when I am behaving not just quite as a myself, that I need a spanking.”

    Carl says: I am convinced that most men have a reset button just under the skin of each buttock - but the reset will work only if both buttons pressed at the same time - preferably with a wooden paddle - usually about 50 to 100 times for complete results!!

    Carl H

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  18. I started lurking as of today, to be honest. I know this is an older post, but seemed the best place to post.

    I've met someone via an online dating site who mentioned FLR to me. Since then, I have been reading everything I could find, starting with his suggestion of DWC, which was an amazing eye-opener.

    Although I have found the majority of this blog is geared toward the gentleman, I have found it especially helpful in understanding where he is coming from and knowing what questions need to be asked.

    He was in a 13 year marriage where his wife's solution to his needs was therapy, so this would actually be new to him... outside of his thoughts and fantasies anyway. My past is failed relationships where my form of DD was the dreaded passive aggressive behavior.

    He does not yet realize the woman he has awakened, and although we dont live together, I am looking forward to finding the best combination that will satisfy both of our needs and lead to a happy, healthy and finally successful relationship!

    Any additional websites/blogs would be greatly appreciated, as has all of the information already gained from my days reading!

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This blog is a curated resource for those genuinely and positively interested in DD and FLR lifestyles. Comments that are rude, uncivil, inconsistent with the blog's theme or off-topic may not be posted or may be removed.