“Whatever
you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not
to be a lady. I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a
little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make
some of that trouble on behalf of women." - Nora Ephron
Hello all. Welcome back to The Forum. Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationships. I hope you had a good week.
This could end up being a pretty painful weekend for me. It was one of those weeks where I let myself get far out on a limb where behavior is concerned. Typically, I wait for her to take the initiative in ordering punishment, but this time I felt like I really needed to take responsibility proactively. So, I sent her a journal entry reminding her that for one of these behaviors, the rule we agreed to is that it would result in multiple spankings, delivered within hours or a day or two of each other, in order to really drive the point home. We talked about "multiples" some time ago, so I'm not going to use it as this week's topic, though it is very much on my mind as I sit here this morning, wondering how I will be sitting come Sunday or Monday. As I think I said when we explored this as a topic, she really has not used multiple spankings much. I think maybe once over the course of our DD relationship, and that time in a limited way. So, I am not really mentally prepared for this, and I am expecting the worst and going through the whole butterflies in my stomach thing. I thought she might start last night, but she didn't let me in on her plans, so I went to bed nervous and full of anxiety about what this weekend may bring. But, enough of that for now.
This week's topic kind of relates to a comment from Mary on last week's topic. She said, "It is not how hard the spanking is given, but how long it lasts." Now, I think her point was more about it making a lasting impression, rather than "lasts" in the temporal sense. But, when I thought about it, I'm not sure we have ever talked about how long our respective spankings really last in the sense of how long each session actually takes. When I am bent over the chair or ottoman and taking a very hard paddling or strapping, it seems to take forever. But, in reality I am sure the whole thing takes well under 10 minutes. Probably more like five or six. But, I've never actually timed one.
A few nights ago I was reading a spanking story in which the wife actually did use a timer. She and her husband had a list of rules. The baseline spanking was 5 or 10 minutes (I forget which) and each broken rule that was being addressed added another 5 minutes. She did include time spent intermittently scolding and lecturing, but if she took breaks to let her arm rest then the timer was stopped, then re-started when the spanking resumed. This system seemed to me to have some advantages for real behavior correction, because every punishment spanking could be the same in terms of severity or each swat, but the duration was really within his control, because he could earn his way out of longer sessions by simply behaving better and not accumulating as many offenses. It would also prevent at least some of the "toughing it out" that Fred pointed out (a couple of posts ago), can occur if he knows in advance the number of swats. And, I have always wondered whether a longer spanking would result in me finally breaking down, as it just kept going on and on with no relief in sight. In our case, she usually takes mercy after my bottom reaches a certain state, but what if the rule was it keeps going for whatever duration I've earned?
How long do your spankings usually take? Have you ever timed one? Does she have a goal for it to last a certain amount of time? Does that vary depending on the offense?
I hope you have a great week. As always, if you are new to this Forum please go to the Guestbook and tell us a little about yourself and your DD or FLR lifestyle or aspirations.
Hello all. Welcome back to The Forum. Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationships. I hope you had a good week.
This could end up being a pretty painful weekend for me. It was one of those weeks where I let myself get far out on a limb where behavior is concerned. Typically, I wait for her to take the initiative in ordering punishment, but this time I felt like I really needed to take responsibility proactively. So, I sent her a journal entry reminding her that for one of these behaviors, the rule we agreed to is that it would result in multiple spankings, delivered within hours or a day or two of each other, in order to really drive the point home. We talked about "multiples" some time ago, so I'm not going to use it as this week's topic, though it is very much on my mind as I sit here this morning, wondering how I will be sitting come Sunday or Monday. As I think I said when we explored this as a topic, she really has not used multiple spankings much. I think maybe once over the course of our DD relationship, and that time in a limited way. So, I am not really mentally prepared for this, and I am expecting the worst and going through the whole butterflies in my stomach thing. I thought she might start last night, but she didn't let me in on her plans, so I went to bed nervous and full of anxiety about what this weekend may bring. But, enough of that for now.
This week's topic kind of relates to a comment from Mary on last week's topic. She said, "It is not how hard the spanking is given, but how long it lasts." Now, I think her point was more about it making a lasting impression, rather than "lasts" in the temporal sense. But, when I thought about it, I'm not sure we have ever talked about how long our respective spankings really last in the sense of how long each session actually takes. When I am bent over the chair or ottoman and taking a very hard paddling or strapping, it seems to take forever. But, in reality I am sure the whole thing takes well under 10 minutes. Probably more like five or six. But, I've never actually timed one.
A few nights ago I was reading a spanking story in which the wife actually did use a timer. She and her husband had a list of rules. The baseline spanking was 5 or 10 minutes (I forget which) and each broken rule that was being addressed added another 5 minutes. She did include time spent intermittently scolding and lecturing, but if she took breaks to let her arm rest then the timer was stopped, then re-started when the spanking resumed. This system seemed to me to have some advantages for real behavior correction, because every punishment spanking could be the same in terms of severity or each swat, but the duration was really within his control, because he could earn his way out of longer sessions by simply behaving better and not accumulating as many offenses. It would also prevent at least some of the "toughing it out" that Fred pointed out (a couple of posts ago), can occur if he knows in advance the number of swats. And, I have always wondered whether a longer spanking would result in me finally breaking down, as it just kept going on and on with no relief in sight. In our case, she usually takes mercy after my bottom reaches a certain state, but what if the rule was it keeps going for whatever duration I've earned?
How long do your spankings usually take? Have you ever timed one? Does she have a goal for it to last a certain amount of time? Does that vary depending on the offense?
I hope you have a great week. As always, if you are new to this Forum please go to the Guestbook and tell us a little about yourself and your DD or FLR lifestyle or aspirations.
Hi Dan,
ReplyDeleteI am on the site now so will answer early. I think a statistician would say my pattern over many years is " bi-modal". Almost all of my spankings fall into two pretty consistent time frames. Probably the most common has been five minutes up to maybe ten tops OTK or over the bed or bending for the cane. These follow some corner time and may end with corner time but usually only pre-spanking corner time. The strokes tend to be hard and fast with some minimal hand spanking warm-up spanking until I stop struggling and physically demonstrate I have submitted. These are single instrument spankings, not quite on the spot ( although a few have been) but they usually occur pretty close in time to the offense. The other kind is less common but becoming more so. It can and has lasted an hour or more, with much scolding,multiple spanking tools and breaks for interim corner time as well as quite a lot of ritual. All my witnessed spankings except the first are this type. These tend to be spankings administered after a long period in which I have not been spanked and they are triggered by a series of bad behaviors ( or attitudes) rather than one or two things.My former girlfriend rarely gave me one of the extended spankings but my wife seems to be spanking me less often but much longer as time goes by. I hope Mary does clarify what she meant by " how long it lasts" being most important.My former girlfriend used to say she could wear my ass out in five minutes and the ability to deliver a quick spanking was a big appeal to her. But getting more experienced with long spankings is convincing me they have a lasting influence on my behavior. My wife likes them because she doesn't feel the need to spank as often
Alan
Hi Alan. My wife definitely can wear my ass out in five minutes, and sometimes I think that should be the goal -- short, intense spankings close to the time of the crime, so she doesn't feel pressure to rearrange everything she is doing to conduct a longer session. And, I can foresee them having an influence, particularly on smaller things. Don't do the dishes, then bend over the kitchen counter for a quick but hard paddling. But, I do think that longer sessions, and ones that I have to anticipate for awhile, get a deeper emotional reaction out of me.
DeleteCompletely agree with Mary. A good long spanking provides opportunity for the recipient to make a spectacle of themselves. There's greater intensity and dominance when the spanking is not just about pain but one party taking the other on an emotional journey. That can't happen in an instant. Having someone cry or just be near tears in an embrace for an extended period time is as appropriate a response to disrespect as it is overwhelming. It's conclusive in a way that pain alone can't be. That doesn't make it the key to bringing on the tears, it just increases the exposure for those who are more emotionally vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteJake
Thanks, Jake. I agree there is something very conclusive about tears. I use the term "surrender" to describe just giving it all up in that way. Even if I have yet to experience it. It remains an elusive goal.
DeleteJoe2 here,
ReplyDeleteMy spankings take between 10-15 minutes. We have a clock beside where I get spanked, so I check. Having said that, the time isn't set. How long it takes me to get into sub-space determines the time. If I am sleep deprived (I'm an insomniac, so that is more days than less.), really stressed, and my mind is in the right place, then it leans towards the shorter period.
Having said that, there are times when I just can't get my mind in the right mode. I do not act rebellious, but my brain just refuses to let go, until the pain sorts my mind out. Those spankings last so long that my wife usually has to take a break.
Thanks,Joe2. I share the insomnia problem. Being spanked sometimes actually helps it, but not predictably.
DeleteOn general, most spankings I give Shilo are under 15 minutes. There have been the occasional 2 or 3 hour funishment sessions, but it's been a long time since I did that. Stitch never gets more than 5 minutes, and they're never fun
ReplyDeleteNeither are mine -- "Fun" I mean. Thanks, Merry!
DeleteThere seems to be no average duration of spanking in our household since my hubby reacts in different ways at different times. Some times when he has misbehaved he is obviously ready for a spanking and at other times a spanking is the very last thing that he wants to experience at that moment. It may be that he is preoccupied with some project or is feeling stressed but a spanking is definitely not what he wants. It is at these times that his spanking may be extended. After all these years of punishing my husband I can read his body like a book and when he is not in the “mood” for a spanking he squirms violently and complains loudly. To be fair I actually enjoy it when he squirms but it is my job to bring him to the self control where he will just lay still and take his medicine – hence the reason that the spanking may continue for as long as it takes. When he is the “mood” I normally apply a vigorous OTK spanking with a special brush we use (which he hates) followed by bending him over our homemade whipping bench and administering a substantial caning or tawsing just so he appreciates that this is punishment not "funishment". The length of his punishment depends on the seriousness of his offense. The greatest length of time for one of these canings was somewhere between 20 to 30 minutes and I only stopped because I was beginning to draw blood. I have never yet, unfortunately, been able to get him to cry with a spanking. He’s a strong man (which I really admire) but I have seen him cry on many occasions due to really sad situations and I love holding him when he is exhibiting such strong and deep emotion. My goal is to force him to exhibit such similar strong emotion by spanking him so that I can release those same deep feelings. I am therefore planning to give him an extended spanking soon to punish him for some very unacceptable behavior last week. He has a medical procedure shortly so I felt it prudent not to mark him up too much prior to exposing his rear to the hospital staff. If any readers have advice about how I can achieve my goal of tears please let me know. Thanks. BTY I have tried, for one bad offense, giving him six strokes of the strap on each hand, 24 strokes of the cane on the bare bottom - then forced him to ejaculate and immediately bent him over for another 24 of the hardest strokes of the cane – still no tears. To be fair I did not really enjoy caning him after he’d come – it was almost too sadistic and anyway it seemed to make him just tough it up rather than release those emotions I’m targeting. Any help appreciated.
ReplyDeleteHi Tina. I wish I could give you helpful advice on tears, but I can't. At least none based on success in giving in to them. Like your husband, I can cry in response to bad situations others are going through, and even in response to sad movies or songs. But, never from a spanking.
DeleteI may go into this more in a later post, but I alluded to one thing that I am convinced does *not* work and may be counterproductive, and that is super-intense short spankings, or spankings that begin with really severe intensity. I had one of those last night, in which she started with a new strap that proved to be unbelievably painful, and from the first swat on I went from genuinely remorseful and wanting to surrender to just totally incapable of doing that and, instead, just trying to get through it. I suspect that for men with really strong egos and big Alpha tendencies, a longer, deliberate approach might do it, but a really severe strike right out of the gate just send us into full-blown "man up" mode.
Dan,
DeleteLeaving aside the issue of punishment I agree with you that longer and slower and less intense does work better as discipline and maybe to induce crying. I once talked to a woman who claimed she could make some men cry with only a hand spanking just by keeping him across her lap long enough through a long scolding. She said that 45 minutes was not unusual and this was a no break 45 minutes of over her knee ( presumably bare bottom in the air)I never personally was spanked by her and so can't confirm her statement. But I an see how being bare ass over a woman's lap that long while being subjected to a sharp scolding could break you down. And that is when crying happens, when you mix shame and remorse with a sense that it is never going to end.I have never cried from just a hand spanking but I can imagine it happening with 45 minutes of the bath brush.
Alan
Alan
Thanks for your response Dan. You and my man seem very similar. We have regular open discussions about what works and what doesn’t – even after all these years – and Tim admits to the same feelings as you described. If I hit too hard from the outset he just goes into “tough it out” mode and he admits that it’s impossible to reach the deep emotion that tears seem to represent. Same with if I make him come prior to a spanking. He simply feels just pure pain with no love or emotion and actually admits to resenting the punishment. I sort of feel that he should be prepared to accept whatever I decide to dish out but at the same time I love him so deeply that I want to enforce discipline in a way that both of us benefit. Isn’t that what a previous contributor wrote about “a good spanking”? Hence the value of good communication. Even so I’m determined to experiment with a longer OTK treatment to see if I can work him up to shedding tears. I truly want him to cry so that I can enjoy nurturing him by hugging and comforting him while he is in that deeper emotional state telling him that his punishment is all over and all he has to do is listen to me and behave in a way that is best for him and his health (in many ways including avoiding a sore bottom).
DeleteAlan,
DeleteI too have a hard time imagining ever crying from a hand-spanking. But from a strap or the bath brush done slow and methodically over 30 minutes or more -- I definitely can see that working.
Tina, yes your husband and I do seem a lot alike where these issues are concerned. Even with respect to the unintentional resentment. It isn't voluntary, but I definitely feel a hint of it if she goes extremely hard at the outset. Though, part of that resentment is feeling that we have discussed how counterproductive it seems to be, yet she has done it even after those discussions. It's hard not to feel a sense of "I told you so" when those walls come up. As is probably the case with your husband, I *am* prepared to take whatever she decides to dish out, but that doesn't mean that what she decides may not be ineffective at getting the reaction she says she wants. Again, as you said, therein lies the value of communication. As I suggested to her in a note after last night's ordeal, it is not about not using the harsher tools or not to go very hard. It's a timing issue. Reserve those for the end of the spanking, as a final volley to drive the lesson home, instead of doing it at the beginning when it is highly likely to go counter to the effect she is trying to achieve.
DeleteI made that suggestion tomorrow, and I have the second half of my spanking coming tonight. If she takes the suggestion, I will tell everyone how it goes.
Joe2 here,
DeleteI concur with not starting too hard. If my wife starts too hard, my brain focuses on enduring the event. Rather than moving into a deeper submissive mindset, I resolve to "take anything she can dish out." Which is counter to the purpose of my spankings.
Our brains are potentially the strongest part of our body. Healthy people have literally run themselves to death, because the brain refused to let the legs stop until it has gone too far. So use the brain to your advantage. He wants to be spanked (at least as a lifestyle), so walk him from the shallow end to the deep end of the pool. He'll follow your lead.
My father-in-law served as an officer at a military boot camp. He told me that if you want someone to cry, you do not yell at them. Instead, you slowly and gently humiliate them. You start with semi-kind words and slowly walk them into a position where they realize how incredibly messed up they are and failure is certain to follow if significant changes are not made. Always emphasizing how disappointed his family (or someone he looked up to) is going to be. He also said that you cannot get someone cry if had been picked on their whole life. Those guys' were mentally steel hard. Usually, the person that would easily cry were those that had either easy lives or had never really known failure, e.g. the football star, because mentally they were not prepared for total failure. So it seems to me, that if you really want him to cry, work on how you talk to him and tailor it to your situation, e.g. "Honey, I love you so much. It so disappoints me that you ...."
Same here. I never cry. but my wife belive in shame to discipline.
DeleteWell
Our spanking usually last around ten minutes or so. We don't have a set amount of swats or time frame on how long the spankings last. She starts out full force with a paddle or strap and about one swat per second. The only break I get is when she switches implements or has something else to say. Sometimes at the end she may add swats that I have to count.
ReplyDeleteFrank
Hi Frank. I have never had to count swats. Do you think it adds to the effectiveness?
DeleteI think my wife wants to here my voice near the end of the spanking and weather I sound remorseful or not. Some times for me having to talk during a spanking can be effective,she has no set limits on the swats I have to count.
DeleteFrank
Understood.
DeleteI think extended length of time works against the spanking feeling punitive.....but it depends.However, the longer one goes on the more I am able to relax into it and even begin to enjoy it. For this reason Rosa will split up a long punishment so that each segment ends before I start getting that way.
ReplyDeleteThere is also a 'too short' time frame which Rosa also avoids if she is really trying to make a point. So I guess there's a sort of sweet-spot for punishment which goes longer than a quick crisp 50, but ends before I start experiencing an endorphin high. Too short doesn't 'get through' and too long turns it into something less punitive.
Actually the most effective punishment is the third spaced-out installment of a long punishment. By then I am already sore but with no endorphin numbness. When I get the next set of about 200-250 spanks in that condition......I am REALLY feeling sorry and contrite!
I have never gotten an endorphin high during a spanking such that I even begin to enjoy it. At most, if she uses a wooden paddle early in the spanking my butt may get numb to the point that the spanking becomes largely ineffective. But, I've never had it cross over into enjoyable. Maybe because, as I've said, I seem to be kind of an exception in this group in terms of not being a true "spanko" outside the DD context. We don't do erotic spankings, and I get very little erotic charge out of thinking about getting an erotic spanking. I'm also not a masochist. I have a very high pain tolerance, but I don't enjoy pain in any way. For me, spankings hurt, and I don't ever get real enjoyment from them.
DeletePersonally tend to experience it much like Kdpierre. Even though the pain obviously continues during an "extended session", something about it takes on an "artificial" flavor. It also starts to become almost boring; if that makes any sense at all considering the pain being endured.
DeleteRegarding the use of a timer - I think my wife has used that technique to great effectiveness. Around here a good disciplinary session does not take that all that long and they are not usually timed. But when she does invoke it, for whatever reason the mood strikes her I will never know, I WILL NOT test her. If she threatens to add 5 more minutes if I do or don't do something - believe me I comply.
The "almost boring" thing I do understand. That can happen if my bottom goes numb, and it sometimes does, as after that point the spanking is really not accomplishing anything.
DeleteIn my experience, a "session" involves not only the actual punishment (which varies from 10 to 20 minutes, depending on the seriousness of the case), but also the pre- and post- spells of preliminary and/or afterwards "corner time" I must serve (especially if one of her friends is present!)
ReplyDeleteL.
I think I need to do corner time as a topic again sometime soon
DeleteIt's true that I like to extend those "sessions" with a spell of pre- or post- corner time, but this doesn't apply to the brief (yet vigorous) "reminders" L. gets when he fails to adequately perform the household chores he is assigned over the weekend (and for which he must wear an "appropriate" attire that leaves his derrière exposed - and ready for a swift dose of the kitchen spoon, the martinet or the maple switch)
DeleteJ.
When my husband is going to receive a spanking it lasts about 25 to 30 minutes I always take my time telling him why he is being punished I always take my time during the spanking spending time on both bottom cheeks I always send him to the corner after the spanking so he can think about what just happened ! Janet !
ReplyDeleteThanks, Janet. It's great that you are patient and take the time to get your message across.
DeleteLike most on here. We have no specific time frame. Some seem like forever tho. I put my phone on the counter a few months to record the the sound of the session. One was around 15 minutes but did have a lot of lecture with it and was pretty hard. The other was around 6 minutes. Not much talk just a " maintenance " spanking. After it's over and I think about it. I rate them on a 1-10 scale. Most are in the 7-8 range and only a couple 4-5. There was definitely a 10 a few weeks ago ! A question for another time or maybe it's already been answered before my time here but how long between spankings do you feel the need for one ? After a couple weeks I get this way.
ReplyDeleteI timed mine last night (the second part of a multi-session that I may talk about more next week). It was around 7 or 8 minutes.
DeleteI seldom get to where I "need" one, in terms of it being something I want.
Like most on here. We have no specific time frame. Some seem like forever tho. I put my phone on the counter a few months to record the the sound of the session. One was around 15 minutes but did have a lot of lecture with it and was pretty hard. The other was around 6 minutes. Not much talk just a " maintenance " spanking. After it's over and I think about it. I rate them on a 1-10 scale. Most are in the 7-8 range and only a couple 4-5. There was definitely a 10 a few weeks ago ! A question for another time or maybe it's already been answered before my time here but how long between spankings do you feel the need for one ? After a couple weeks I get this way.
ReplyDeleteMy spanks are not usually long. The process does not exceed 10 minutes.
ReplyDeleteMost of the time, about 7 minutes, I need to get all clothes in front of my wife, and listen to the reasons for my discipline.
In the last minutes, I get spank on my knees and finally on the bed with the belt.
Well
That seems to be about the duration of ours, too.
DeleteThe longest spanking I ever had was probably three minutes with the paddle and seven minutes with a disciplinary strap we bought from London Tanners. In three minutes with the paddle my wife can land at least three hundred strokes only resting when she tires for a few seconds. She uses a cherry wood paddle which is 3/8 to 1/2 in thick, but very light weight, very strong, a little flexible, and very stingy resulting in a burning rear end. The strap is not as easy to use and usually takes about three seconds a stroke. It reinforces the burn in short order, but I can handle it better that the rapid fire of the paddle. What was my reaction. Intense pain, I survived, and never wanting to put myself in that position again. In some 15 years, early in our DD agreement, this happened only a couple of times when my behavior offended my wife before other couples. My wife made her point and I was very careful not to repeat that behavior again after the second spanking. Most of my spankings are with the cherry wood paddle, last about three minutes of intense rapid fire spanking, and all are effective at improving my behavior. Both my wife and I started DD to improve my behavior, and it has worked. Spanks start hard and that's what I expected when I agreed to DD, I do tough them out and do not cry, but with me they work - I work hard to avoid them and over the last several years rarely need them and get them much anymore. My question, why is it necessary to cry? In my mind DD is punishment. The remorse I have is not doing again what put me in the punishment position the first place. What I do get is the release of guilt I had for what I did so I guess that's remorse of some kind, and my wife always gets a sincere apology from me for my behavior. We both benefit in that it solves problems quickly, my wife gets her payback, and we always bond together when it is finished. Often in a very loving way. I contribute to this site because I really believe DD is beneficial to married couples in so many ways. It certainly has helped us.
ReplyDeleteFred
Fred, maybe I am not remembering correctly, or maybe I am confusion which Fred this applies too since we seem to have multiple Freds, but I thought you DO cry from spankings?
DeleteI don't think crying is necessary. I certainly was disciplined this week, and I didn't cry. But, as I've said, that kind of full-blown surrender of my ego, just letting it go and giving in, has a very powerful attractive/repulsive effect on me.
Hi - we use an large egg timer (yes really :)! ) which she will often start after an extended telling off and then forget to check or if I tell her that the timer is finished (as I did once) she set it again and carried on! SO I would guess average length is 3 - 10 minutes. I did count the strap strokes once (OK - I used my gopro as I was very curious as to what the whole thing looked like!) and that entire session from start to finish was 22 min but included quite a severe telling off.
DeleteNothing compared to the telling off / spanking if she saw the gopro ...
As for tears - I too wanted that release but also I truly wanted that experience. It is an emotional release rather than physical and so I have found that I have to really tap into my inner 'child', to feel genuine remorse, shame & nervous fear. Not a full on bawling my eyes out but definitely possible to get to wet eyes and some sobs. It's all about the mental state, the true belief that I have let myself down and accepting the punishment.
Work in progress, TB
Hi TB. I got in somewhat similar trouble when she caught me timing one last week. She was very specific that she does not want me knowing how much time has elapsed. If she caught me using a gopro, I don't want to even think about how bad that would be. Interestingly, I have never counted swats, at least not since our very early days when we had a formula for setting a minimum number of them. I find that I really can't keep my mind on the count during a hard session.
DeleteYour comment on crying relates to a point I was making last week about whether a spanking can be "too hard." I got pretty close to crying a few weeks ago probably because I went into it feeling real remorse for what I had done. This week, I started with that attitude, but when the severity proved to be very high from the outset, that attitude of taking responsibility, and taking my medicine for it, just vanished.
Only get tears in my eyes at sad movies. Never said I cry. You got the wrong Fred.
ReplyDeleteGot it. Sorry about that.
DeleteDan
ReplyDeleteI try to vary how I approach a punishment session with Peter. To keep him on his toes. A few months ago I caught Peter, counting the minutes. I said nothing. After the session we went to dinner and again said nothing. I drove home and as I parked the car, I took his hand and told him I resented him counting the time which meant he was trying to control the evening. He denied it of course. It was then I ordered him up to our bedroom and to wait, then we would replay the 100 he had received earlier. He was to count off the 100 and only after that would I administer the punishment spanking. F.Y.I. it was at 122 he broke and the tears and the true repentance was achieved.
Anna
Hi Anna! That would certainly dissuade me from counting or timing!
DeleteJoe2 here,
ReplyDeleteInteresting how some people want to know the time and how many strikes have been received as the spanking is occurring and others don't for exactly the same reasons. I guess it shows how varied people are. Me- I don't want to know how many minutes have passed or strikes I have received because I want to focus on the pain of the strike before and the pain of the next one. But I do want to know the time and count afterwards, because I like to keep score. My wife could care less about either- she is looking for the end result.
Typical guy - always needing to know the score. :-)
DeleteHey Dan. Thanks for a great service for those of us who live in a disciplinary household. My wife and I are new to the lifestyle and we have learned much from you and the many who write. My wife especially appreciates the responses from the ladies. In response to your question my disciplinary sessions are rather quick- 5 minutes top. However my wife usually requires me to go to our bedroom and assume the position several minutes before she arrives to deliver the punishment. The position is what Kathy (femdom 101) calls command position - kneeling with elbows hands and forehead touching the floor, silent and not moving. A few minutes in this position before my wife arrives allows me reflect on my behavior. When she does enter the room we do have a chance to talk about why I am being disciplined by her.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me think of another question you may wish to pose on your blog (perhaps you already have). What position(s) do our wives require us to assume as we are punished? I know otk is common but what else is used? My wife likes command position because it is humbling for me and gives her a good target for her style of spanking.
vic
Hi Vic, and welcome, both to this group and to the DD lifestyle! I hope your wife will join in as well. Kathy does have a nice set of posts this week on on her use of the "command position." We have done the topic of spanking positions at least once or twice before, but I'll see how long ago it was and perhaps do a repeat. I try to do once a year or less, just to keep things from getting too repetitive. FYI, I personally am not a big OTK fan. It may be iconic, but it seems to be one of the less effective postures the spanker, and not particularly easy to maintain by the spankee.
DeleteIt's true that for many women managing a man who is over her knee is just too difficult. Especially if they are a wiggle squirmer like me. So practicality in our home usually requires that I assume the position on the bed.
DeleteHowever, there have been occasions when I have been quite soundly spanked OTK by women who were skilled at it and upon reflection; those were my most memorable disciplinary sessions.
Vic, Joe2 here,
ReplyDeleteLike Dan said OTK does not work for me, because my wife is not strong enough to make her strikes effective. There are no rules. Please find what works for you. My wife and I try different positions. But we keep coming back to me lying on a bed because it works best for us. Having said that, we still try different places and positions- because we can. One of the most mind bending episodes was me draped over the piano chair beside my mother's grand piano. I feel confident in saying that the location ( and the risk) had as much to do as the spanking itself.
Hi Dan,
ReplyDeleteWhile the time I take to administer a spanking is only around 15minutes, I also require my husband to do pre and post corner time as well as to stand facing me hands on head while I lecture him. All up it takes 50-60 minutes. I review my husband's behaviour journal during the initial corner time. I prefer to spank with a heavy tawse with my husband bending over and holding onto an armchair or laying face down on a bed with a pillow under his waist to raise his butt up.
Hi Blaze. Definitely a lot of corner time taking place within this group. We just recently got a tawse. We'll see how it compares to her other favorites.
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