"Some people have to learn the hard way."
Hello all. Welcome back to The Forum. Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationships.
I hope you all had a great week. I added a comment to last week's topic that addressed a real life spanking I received last week. I don't do that a lot, but this one raised an issue that I thought might make a good topic, because this one may have forced us to think a little bit more about how she can be the most effective in bringing about what we both want, which is making me feel genuinely repentant about what I've done and really changing behavior.
From the beginning, we have taken Domestic Discipline seriously. Though it clearly has erotic overtones, it isn't part of a kinky game for us. We have a lot of commenters on here, with relationships that seem to run the gamut from spanking as "funishment," i.e. not really discipline at all, to someone like Fred for whom it is pure discipline with no real erotic or D/s overtones. On that spectrum, until a year or so ago we were pretty close to Fred's end of the spectrum. DD was more of an event than a lifestyle, and there wasn't a real fundamental change in the power structure. That has changed this year, with DD more of one tool in a broader FLR lifestyle. But, the goal really did remain to make me pay a price for bad behavior such that I would be less likely to do it again.
My earliest exposure to Domestic Discipline reinforced that the starting place regarding severity should be, "The harder you spanking him, the more he will love you for it." And, I still believe there is a lot of truth in that. I also believe that if it isn't really hard, and designed to push him not only to his limits but somewhat beyond them, then is it really punishment? If it's something you can easily take, then how are you really being punished?