Hello all. Welcome back to The Forum. Our weekly gather of men and women who are participating or positively interested in being in Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationships.
I hope you all had a great week. Mine started off great, then degenerated. I said last week that I had made some adjustments after a string of self-destructive behaviors. It worked and worked well for almost two weeks, then kind of fell apart a couple of days ago. And, basically the same pattern. I had every intention of continuing my streak of positive behavior. Then, as I was leaving work I stopped to grab "one drink" with a colleague who wanted to talk about something. Then some other people from work joined us, and the next thing you know it was three hours later. It wasn't that big a deal, but it did mean my wife was royally pissed off at me for coming home late, and after making some real progress in getting my energy and mood straightened out, I definitely lost some ground. But, I'm trying. I fell of the methaphorical horse and now will try to get back on again. I'm also sitting around today wondering if she is going to order a hard spanking as a fitting consequence for this stumble. While I really, really don't want one, I can't say that I don't deserve it. It's also been more than a month since my last one, so if it does happen I know it is going to be extraordinarily painful.
Update: She did let me know earlier today that I will be getting one. As she put it, "A very long, very hard strapping and paddling" tonight. And, of course, my attitude has instantly swung from knowing that I need one and kind of welcoming the accountability, to hoping something happens to interfere with her plans. That's the way it always is with real spankings -- we ask for them, either literally or through our preventable behavior, then once one is ordered we would do anything to get out of it. It has been long enough between sessions, I know this one is going to hurt so much! But, I also do know that I deserve one like this. Though, that doesn't make it any easier to take at the time.
This week's topic comes from CrimsonKing. He suggested we had we haven't really explored the issue of what exactly is going on in a man's head during a spanking. That's probably true. While we've explored why we want to be disciplined, and how we felt after it is over, I'm not sure we have ever had a topic devoted to what he (and she) are thinking during the event itself.
But, in any event, what is going on in your mind during the actual event? Counting the strokes? Apologizing and swearing to yourself you'll never do THAT again ("that" being whatever you did for the hundredth time that put you in this position again, like me stopping to have that drink with a colleague)? Or, do you get into some kind of "subspace" or become relaxed or meditative (something I have a hard time imagining, as "relaxed" is the last thing I am during the event).
I also don't want to leave out the ladies, though here I came up with zip for artwork focusing on their thought process during a spanking. I did find a few, however, that focused on what she might be thinking when considering giving him one.
So, let's do broaden it out a little where the question to our Disciplinary Wives is concerned. What are you thinking about immediately before his spanking or as you are considering ordering one.
Are you angry or disappointed?
Or, something more positive or titillating?
Does it feel like a chore, or do you think of it more like a welcome opportunity to express your views and clear the air?