A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares. ~ Elbert Hubbard
Hello all. Welcome back to The Forum - Disciplined Husbands and Disciplinary Wives. Our weekly gathering of men and women participating in, or interested in participating in, Domestic Discipline and Female Led Relationships.
I hope you all had a good week. Mine was pretty damn unproductive. I find this happens almost every time after I've had a really intense period at work. Ideally, I would be able to bring things back to a happy medium. But, it never seems to work that way. Instead, the pendulum always swings in the opposite direction, and I end up just basically screwing around and getting little accomplished. Which is really the worst of all possible worlds, because I am getting little to nothing accomplished, yet still going in to work every day instead of taking time off. I also had one of those dinners with a few male friends that degenerated into several more drinks than intended, leaving me mentally and physically exhausted by the end of the week. That could and, honestly, should result in one or more very painful spankings this weekend.
That was an interesting exchange last week. As I said in response to one of the comments, I was surprised at the number of women, and some of the men, who saw a pre-spanking erection as a sign of disrespect. As Sunny so colorfully put it, "I am getting ready to give this guy the spanking of his life and he gets a hard on." I can definitely understand that perspective and want to let the idea percolate a bit before deciding what if anything to try to do about it, since I don't think of that reaction indicating lack of respect when it happens to me, but I do understand why some would see it that way.
In terms of what might be done about it, Marisa and Peter and others alluded to the husband being required to "take care of" the erection before the spanking starts, also heard referred to as "milking." In short, imposing a pre-spanking orgasm to remove that erotic or sexual edge prior to the disciplinary event.
He relieves himself, then she gets down to business.
Or perhaps she lends a hand, particularly if a pre-spanking erection didn't go away after the first few swats.
This is one of those topics for which I am going to have to rely on all of you heavily, because this is an activity we have not engaged in (yet), and for the moment I am pretty glad about that. Though I do recognize that this might be one of those things where the rubber really meets the road in terms of showing just how much I am up to walking my talk about making a disciplinary punishment "real." Because I have no doubt that being completely relieved of the erotic or sexual tension and energy that may be bound up in the desire for DD leaves only pure punishment. Also, it's just the nature of an orgasm to leave you feeling lazy and content -- about the last thing you would want after that is a long, hard spanking. And, of course, that is kind of the whole point of doing it that way. I also do wonder whether removing all that energy would make it easier for me to get to real tears, which is something that I do have this morbid obsession with achieving but have just never been able to get there. For those reasons, I have thought about asking her to consider requiring it for super-serious offenses, but I haven't quite been able to bring myself to do it.
What do you all think about this? Is it something you have done? Is it, in fact, much more effective? For those of you who have not, is it something you think should happen to make the discipline more "real"?
I would also like to use this post to request something of any Wives who might be interested. The topical format of this blog really does get constraining at times, and I would love to work in a little more variety. I also think it is very important for wives who are either considering entering into a disciplinary relationship or just dipping their toes in one to have role models. It would be great to be able to post some content from the wives telling your own stories in your own words about how you came to be a Disciplinary Wife, what it has done for your marriage and/or for you and your husband's growth and development, any areas where you would like to see it further develop, etc. Basically an open microphone for you tell everyone more about you and your relationship. I tried this a while back and got submissions from Anna and Merry, but that was about it. Our circle of Disciplinary Wives has expanded a bit since then, so maybe this is a good time to give it another shot. If you are interested, there are a couple of options. First, you can just enter it as a comment here and I will re-post it later as a stand-alone posting. If it gets too long, just break it up into multiple comments. Alternatively, my Profile link includes an email address. Just send it to me by email and I will post it to the blog.
Finally, if you are new to our Forum, please take a minute to stop by the Guestbook (tab above) and tell us a little about yourself and your DD or FLR relationship.