Hi all. Welcome to this week's edition of the Disciplined Husband's
Forum, our weekly gathering of men and women who are practicing or
curious about a Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationship.
I hope you had a great week. Thanks to everyone who commented on our boot camp topic. I was surprised at how many of our regulars have done boot camps or something like one.
During the course of commenting on last week's topic, Alan observed: "I know some of the worst spankings I have ever received have been double spankings where I have been spanked for two different behavior issues separated only by corner time between the first and second. Almost as bad are spankings within a day or two of the first one."
Is this something you have experienced? Two or more really hard punishment spankings back to back or within a day or two? I can think of only one time she has spanked me twice within a few days and it was, as Alan said, an awful experience. If she were to crank up things that much on a regular basis, I'm sure I would be scared to death of re-offending.
Have a great week.
Dan
I hope you had a great week. Thanks to everyone who commented on our boot camp topic. I was surprised at how many of our regulars have done boot camps or something like one.
During the course of commenting on last week's topic, Alan observed: "I know some of the worst spankings I have ever received have been double spankings where I have been spanked for two different behavior issues separated only by corner time between the first and second. Almost as bad are spankings within a day or two of the first one."
Is this something you have experienced? Two or more really hard punishment spankings back to back or within a day or two? I can think of only one time she has spanked me twice within a few days and it was, as Alan said, an awful experience. If she were to crank up things that much on a regular basis, I'm sure I would be scared to death of re-offending.
Have a great week.
Dan
Unfortunately I have experienced both types. With two in a day Ann has done two types. The worst is not telling me that I have multiple spankings coming. I am allowed to apologize, thank her, and pull up my pants. As soon as I'm dressed she then tells me to pull down my pants. The explanation follows. It produces a significant psychological impact and that and the increased pain get me crying more quickly than normal.
ReplyDeleteThe second way is to receive the first spanking, knowing that I have another one coming, but not knowing when.
I recently went through the end of a lull and received spankings on each of several days. The pain does increase and I will confess that on days 3 and 4 I was close to tears as I pulled down my pants.
DWC Fred
Hi Fred. Wow. I can't imagine four days in a row, and I can totally understand being close to tears before it even started.
DeleteKnow that some of it is the pain. Some is realizing how short of the mark I've been in treating my wife.
DeleteOmg yes ! Not too long ago we were having a difficult time and she spanked me four days in a row ! The first one was painful and second one worse. The third and fourth were pretty much unbearable. She used her twelve inch paddle made of mohagany with holes drilled. You can hear the " swoosh" as she applied it. To say the least it was very painful to sit and walk for several days. Haven't had anything that severe since. ( thankfully. )
ReplyDeleteHi Jr. I don't envy either you or Fred. I've thought that if she was to order multiple spankings, it might be bearable if on the later ones she used straps or something "softer" than a paddle. I can't imagine four days in a row with a paddle.
DeleteYep. After the initial ones, the following punishments are like getting slapped on a sunburn.
ReplyDeleteGood analogy.
DeleteJ. firmly believes that any misdemeanor should be sanctioned asap - and if I misbehave or fail to perform my chores twice (or more) during the course of the day, another "helping" will ensue. This is most often the case over the weekend - when I am on "permanent duty" and assigned several different chores. She may also choose to deliver a "time lapse" session in which different 'tools' will successively be used - with "corner time" recesses while she sips a cup of tea...
ReplyDelete"Multiple" sessions are also the norm when we stay at her sister's place, or when she comes to visit...
And then, once a year, there is the "Twelve Days of Christmas" observance with a different 'tool' each day (the marks of which were still evident this past Sunday)...
L.
Hi L. Twelve days in a row? That must be excruciating.
DeleteIt's not as harsh as it seems, because these are not administered in anger, but rather as year-end reminders of what I may expect if I misbehave. Still, because my derrière is subject to those "reminders" on a daily basis (and also because they may involve some 'tools' she seldom uses, such as the riding crop or the rattan cane) I typically end up with a well-marked backside by the time the sequence is over... And then, of course, the "regular" regime is resumed (as it was this past week)
DeleteL.
I learned from N. (L.'s late first wife - and a close friend) that any breaching of "house rules" should be immediately dealt with - and that a 'repeat' of the same fault calls for another (sterner) punishment. L. usually needs only one such "reminder" but there have been times when he needed another 'reminder' (and some "corner time" as well). These are typically more severe - if only because he is recidivious - but they usually have the effect of having him behave impeccably for the next few days!
DeleteThe "twelve days of Christmas" sequence (which was first thought of by N.) is mostly meant to lead to his New Year resolutions... which he usually breaks within a week or so!
J.
J. -- same here on the resolutions. All of mine are pretty much toast at this point, though I will pick myself up and try once again.
DeleteAnd here I was, thinking about orgasms! Yes, I've given 'multiples' to Shilo, but not in a long time.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it probably was a poorly chosen title and open to lots of interpetations!
DeleteI have not experienced multiple spankings closely spaced together. It's something that has come up more as a what has only been a threat; she has told me that she has fantasized about it and that I will regret that day. However, as much as I try and get out of a spanking at the moment, if a punishment isn't delivered for any reason, I always feel neglected and in a way unloved. Given that, I expect multiples would be a tough experience, but that it would ultimately make me feel very cared for if she would be willing enough to be that strict with me. --Easy
ReplyDeleteHi Easy. I agree and understand the paradox of wanting to get out of a spanking at the moment, yet being disappointed if it isn't delivered.
DeleteYes! On a couple of occasions. I had built up 2 pending punishments that were meted out at the same time. It was grueling. The first spanking punishment was pretty harsh, as they all seem to be. Mistress K. decided to pause 10 minutes before giving me the second one, because she wanted to rest a bit, get a cup of coffee and to have me ponder the fact that another, similar spanking was about to happen again. It hurt. It hurt bad, and I was never more in love with this beautiful woman that loved me enough to provide me with the kind of correction that was needed.
ReplyDeleteSlightly off topic, but worse than multiple punishments spankings ... the dreaded post-orgasm spanking. Mistress K. reserve this type of punishment for what she determines to be "serious" offenses. Although it hasn't happened yet, such a serious offence would be ejaculating without permission, while being teased, edged or otherwise in a horny state.
I think that men who have not experienced that truly terrible spanking that proved the depth of her resolve may have a hard time understanding the respect and love that comes from it, but I do get it. Hard to explain, but it certainly works that way.
DeleteSub Hub
ReplyDeleteI can tell you I have had two post orgasm spankings. If a paddling hurts during a regular session it is ten times more painful after an orgasm. Trust me there is nothing erotic about it.
Peter
Peter, just found this comment stuck in the spam box. No idea why it flagged yours, but none of the other comments, including the one you were responding to. I have never been able to detect any rhyme or reason underlying Blogger's spam filter
DeleteI have received multiples more than once. In the not too distant past I made a
ReplyDeletepromise to Anna. I vowed I would never do something again and then proceeded
to break that promise less than a month later. The kids were going to my folks for
the weekend so I dreaded friday. When I came in, Anna ordered me upstairs to
undress and stand in the corner of our bedroom. I waited almost an hour. When
she came into the room, she had a brush that I dread in her hand. I knelt on the edge of
the bed and she kept spanking. I was near tears but stubbornly refused to let go.
We had dinner out that night and ran into friends . We dined with them and Anna
was at her most charming. I was sure I was done with the punishment. Not so.
Back home I was to get another 100 or so swats this time with her riding crop.
We went to sleep in each others arms and I felt I was forgiven.
The next morning Anna woke me by stroking me. I released quickly and after
she ordered me to kneel again and she gave me what she called the final reminder.
That was the very first time she brought me to tears. Trust me I have not forgotten.
Peter
Hi Peter. How very sneaky, and effective, of her!
DeleteIt's probably time to do another topic on "tears" soon. I try not to overdo it, but it is one that still fascinates and petrifies me.
Dan
DeleteAs a wife I would love to hear from husbands about crying and how many and how often do men suppress the need to do so and why !
anna
Tears have sometimes welled up when J. uses the riding crop - but yelping is my usual reaction when she spanks or whips me.
DeleteL.
Hi Anna, I agree. It has been a while since we covered that one. I'll make it the topic for next week.
DeleteHi Anna,
DeleteSince Dan plans to discuss tears next week, I will hold a longer comment for then. But I believe a disciplinarian has much to do psychologically with whether her husband or boyfriend cries from being spanked. A severe spanking like Peter describes above sets the stage for crying but whether it happens or not depends on the emotional and psychological atmosphere in which the spanking takes place.
Alan
This is what " multiples" do, just break down your resistance until you give in and let go to the punishment and your wife's will.It is somewhat chilling as well as thrilling to see Anna's growth as a disciplinarian. Based on what I have been told by two different women, when a woman spanks after the male ejaculates, she is completely committed to discipline and changing male behavior. It is amazing and a little scary what a woman can accomplish when she makes that decision.
DeleteAlan
Alan
i live as slave to my wife and gee, i hate to say this in this context, but i am spanked by hand twice a day, every day. i am spanked in the morning and at night. This is not punishment exactly -- if i need correction, i am caned after the evening spanking. True, the spankings are not always very hard and they only last a few seconds, but they are painful. i'm sure i'll never "get used to it," but i accept it. I'm not trying to one-up anyone because i suspect that the punishments you guys are talking about are much harder than my daily spankings, but i wonder if any of you have a similar arrangement? i've been her slave for over two years. The daily spankings began about six months ago, and i gotta say, it makes me a better servant. I suppose it helps psychologically that the cane is always in reach when she spanks me by hand. i never know when she will reach for it, but thankfully my obedience is such that the cane is not used very often anymore.
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous. I know someone else who generally gives her husband some "reminder" spanking at least once a day, just to reinforce the respective roles. I can see how that would have some value.
DeleteYeah. That's pretty much the idea behind my daily spankings. We have a couple of other rituals, too -- kneeling, kissing feet or ass -- that we do regularly. All of this is to reinforce my role as her subordinate. When i think of it that way, i like it. When it happens, the only part i like is when it is over. Mistress began this after reading a novel. A work of fiction!!
DeleteI had three today, for the same offense. My bottom is a mess. For 90% she used a delrin cane from Cane-iac. I won't be sitting comfortably for a few days.
ReplyDeleteOuch! That is awful!
DeleteHello Dan,
ReplyDeleteFor me, effectiveness in changing behavior makes a particular disciplinary technique worth doing. By that standard the "double" spanking Alan described doesn't really work. I have spanked Jay that way a couple of times when things piled up and discipline was delayed. He tears up after the second one so it isn't completely ineffective. But dealing with two issues in the same session diluted the emotional and motivational effects of spanking him. I also have trouble transitioning my focus from the first punishment to the second as the lines were blurred and the kind of closure spanking him usually brings just isn't there for either of us.If a situation requiring two ( or more) spankings in the same session comes up again, rather than let him off completely I will probably schedule separate spankings on separate days.Much better in my opinion is spanking on the spot or as near as possible so things don't pile up in the first place.We are getting close to the place where that will be possible and it can't happen too soon for me.
Marisa
Hi Marisa. That makes a lot of sense to me. There also is the practical issue that after one hard session, I am usually at least a little numb. It would take a pretty long cooling off period for the second one to be very effective.
DeleteI agree that on the spot discipline would be the strong preference. Like many here, for us it is challenging right now. When that changes, I probably will be firmly in that "careful what you wish for" space.
Marisa
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year ! I too think on the spot spanking is the most effective.
anna
Since a few ladies have responded in various ways, I'd like to ask something. Most of the guys here have attested to just how bad getting spanked on a residually-sore bottom is. It really is no joke. Yet, our 'leading ladies' seem to have no issue giving them.
ReplyDeleteI even asked Rosa about this one time, since, while she has no issue being the home disciplinarian, would never do anything to truly hurt me. Yet these subsequent spankings hurt beyond belief. (We have had multiple sessions at times to deal with issues when she feels one spanking is just not enough. And each time, she spanks no different than if it was the first.)
What are you ladies thinking when you deliver that second, third or fourth spanking? Do you find it satisfying or merely justice?
Multiples is something that i struggled with at first. My wife asking if I would be OK with being cropped or caned on the same welt repeatedly either in the same session or a later session. At first I told her I would try to see what it was like. Not really the hearty endorsement she was hoping for which sort of held her back at first.
ReplyDeleteMy goodness I yelled and screamed the first few times. We talked a lot about yelling and screaming for ohhhh that hurts which it does which is kind of the point and yelling and screaming I can't do this you need to stop. Again safe words come into play for us.
As she understood more and more that yes it hurts but yes I'm OK she really grew to like Multiples. She will rub where a welt is or was and smile at me saying how she will make it burn or come back. She will often giggle or clap her hands in glee as a welt rises up again. She has teased me see it wants to be hurt again what else explains why it rises up to be seen again.
A lot of discussion here is spanking for remediation of the man. The main point of the blog. We do engage in that. But we also engage in spanking as a way for the lady to relieve frustrations. We also engage in spanking for fun. These are the times where Multiples are used more than for discipline.
I hope I am not going beyond the bounds of the blog sharing that way
Hi iruser. It is true that when I first started this blog, it was about punishing bad behavior, which you are right, is really all about he impact on the man. It was about modifying his behavior, helping him behave better, etc. That was the focus, because it was really how I saw DD. But, as time has gone by, I have come to appreciate the extent to which DD is--or at least can be--just as much of a growth experience for the woman. For those women who do not start out as natural disciplinarians, it can give them a sense of power and control they may not have experienced. For others, particularly those for whom it is a more natural inclination, it may be about venting frustration as you say, or maybe just the satisfaction of exercising control and dominance. In any event, I have really changed my own internal thinking on this over time, such that I am convinced that my wife gets as much or more than I do out of DD, and more than just a better-behaved husband.
Deletea better behaved husband .... my god i think he's got it !
Deleteanna
Hello Anna,
DeleteHappy New Year to you.It sounds like you have things well in hand.Yes " on the spots" are best.They really link the spanking to the behavior in his mind. When punishment is certain to happen and administered promptly the result is always a well behaved husband
Marisa
Marisa
DeleteGreat minds think alike. I have on our agenda this weekend to work out with Peter a way to initiate prompt behavior correction. This might be a great topic for Dan to include one day.
How many husbands have ideas as how this can be accomplished.
Happy New Year to you and yours
best
Anna
Hello Anna
DeleteGreat minds do thing alike.I think that would be a good topic for Dan to consider.I strongly believe men should be actively involved in their own discipline and that includes letting us know what is effective in correcting their behavior.I would be very interested if you feel comfortable telling us how the weekend goes and what you decide.My experience with Jay has taught me men will do anything to delay being punished even when they know they deserve it and need it.
cheers,
Marisa
When two of our disciplinary wives command, I guess I need to obey. :-)
DeleteIt is a good topic, and I'll put it on the agenda for a week or so from now.
I agree that the 'staying on top of the situation' should include immediate acknowledgment of the offense or undesired behavior in an attempt to correct it, and might include immediate punishment. On the other hand, letting him know, immediately, that he earned a punishment (and why) and letting him dwell for a while – either letting him wait for it and not telling him when his punishment would be delivered – or, alternatively, telling him exactly when in the future he will be punished, might add an additional emotional and mental layer to the punishment and have an additional psychological impact of the punishment for him, and thereby, add to its effect.
DeleteMom's expression from many of our pasts, “Just you wait until your Father gets home!” made many of us dread his return, and it was an especially awful wait if he did not come home at a regular time every night, so we knew we were in for it, but did not know when we were going to get it. Just getting an on-the-spot spanking from Mom would definitely have been more desired than the dreaded wait.
“Some time in the next seventy two hours, we will take care of this problem!” or “Saturday night at nine, you an expect a spanking from me, and then you can spend some time in the corner to think about that behavior” might just as effective for the disciplinary wives. He might actually improve his behavior and attitude between his 'sentencing' and the delivery of the penalty in an attempt to, perhaps, lessen the severity of the his punishment. It would definitely get my attention, and I would definitely be “watching my P's and Q's”, at least until my punishment was over.
Jack
Jack, very valid point, and I think probably true as long as (a) the wait is not overly long; and (b) there is real follow through. That's where it tends to fall apart for us -- the spanking may be announced and threatened, but it doesn't always happen.
DeleteJ. firmly believes (as did N. before her) that punishment should be administered as soon as the misdemeanor is committed - or noticed - but there are times when it is not convenient, i.e. when we are on our way to work, when we are away from home, or when she has some other 'business' to attend to. In such cases, a "wait until..." warning will be issued - and, if we are at home but she has other things to do, I may have to spend the "waiting period" in the corner (usually with my pants at half-mast)
DeleteL.
Some instances of "delayed spaking" that L. failed to mention are:
Delete- when we are on the road during a vacation, in which case he may "get it" in a convenient roadside spot, or (more likely) in the hotel room where we stop for the night.
- when we are hiking in the woods, until I find a suitably secluded spot (and one where I can cut myself an 'adequate' switch)
- when I expect my sister or one of my closest friends to drop by
- and, last but not least, when some semi-private space may turn out to be available (such as a changing room in a clothing store, or the ladies' restroom in an airport)
J.
The timing of this weeks question struck home again today. My wife said we need to have a " discussion " about procrastination. A dimmer switch needed replaced. I had it apart since Sunday but Home Depot is on the other side of town and I never got there. The wall plate has been apart since. She was sitting at the kitchen table and she told me to bring her the hairbrush. I returned and all she said was " over my knee". Once in position she always explains why I'm getting spanked and proceeded to give me some excellent motivation. She paused for a moment and said she wanted it done today. I blubbered out a " yes ma'am". She gave a few more hard swats and told me to get going. I went to the store , got part and repaired in an hour. She smiled and said nice job and I can now bring her the paddle. She said we won't have this problem again. She was sitting on the same chair as I returned with her paddle. I was still sensative from before and now I was jumping and squirming the entire time. She asked if she was getting through to me ? I couldn't catch my breath so she hit harder and asked again. I managed a " yes ma 'am " and she allowed me to get up. With a smile and a hug all was fine and very memorable.
ReplyDeleteVery motivational!
DeleteAs I explained in response to one of your earlier postings: ""I never really cry (let alone sob) when my wife applies the hairbrush, the kitchen spoon, the strap or the martinet, although there have been times when my eyes were brimming with tears - but, on the other hand, I often moan, wail, yelp or even shriek when she gives me 'what's for'... That's what she expects, and she would only lay it on harder if I didn't"
ReplyDeleteIn other words, there is a mutual (if tacit) understanding between us: she needs to know that the 'message' is getting through - and there is no benefit for me to clench my teeth and to refrain from letting her know that she is doing an effective job of chastising me as she sees fit (or, in her words, "as you deseve") - even if the marks she leaves on my backside are proof of her "effectiveness"...
L.
Same around here, My wife definitely likes to see me reacting to the spankings. (Which is no problem. I react quite a bit.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, in the past when some wives would send their hubbies over, she refused the ones that were so stoic that it bored her.