We've talked a little bit about openness and whether anyone else knows about our domestic discipline and spanking relationships. Let's go in the opposite direction a bit. For those of us who are not "out" to friends, co-workers and family, what are some of the things you do to keep your domestic discipline relationship a secret?
Speaking for my own household:
- We store all our spanking implements under lock and key.
- Spankings generally occur in the basement, in a small storage area that has become our equivalent of being "taken to the woodshed".
- Spankings generally happen late at night, with less chance that anyone might overhear.
- I have to be careful about where I undress in the gym, and finding a way to get into and out of the showers without anyone seeing by bruised bottom can be a bit of a challenge.
- I blog about DD, but I use a pseudonym
Dan
ReplyDeleteBeth, my wife, uses only one paddle to punish me. It hangs in our kitchen on a wall. It is a cutting board that I made for my mom when i was away at summer camp as a pre-teen. It is 10 inches long and 8 inches wide and about 1/4 inch thick. At one end is a handle that has a hole in it
which still has the leather thong I put on it as a boy.
Whenever we visited my Mom even before we married she would point out to Beth how I had
made the cutting board for her. When my folks retired it moved with them to Florida and hung
still on the wall in the kitchen. I dont think it was ever used.
Two years ago Beth and I house sat for them while they went to Italy for a few weeks. It was Beth's idea to use it as a perfect way to remind me of my need for a " personality adjustment "
from time to time. Trust me after one session I was on my best behavior and came to fear that
cutting board.
Long story short Beth told my Mom how sweet she thought the board was and my Mom insisted
she take it home with us. I insisted it stay at Mom's. We returned home and the paddle was forgotten by me at least. That Christmas Mom surprised Beth by giving her the paddle as a gift.
It now hangs in our kitchen and I stare at it every morning as i have coffee.
It is now the only thing Beth uses to spank me. I both hate and love it to be honest. Wondering
if one day when we have kids Beth will break them in with the same paddle.
Peter B
Great story! Thanks for sharing.
DeleteKinda funny. We do not have kids because it just did not happen. But we do have a dog and he stays away when he hearing the spanking noises. When we go to our bedroom we shut the door to the bathroom and our bedroom and then carry on. Most of the spanking is R spanking me, but once in a while she wants one also. And there is nothing quiet about the paddle or belt striking bare bottoms. Dont think tho that our neighbors can hear due to the at least 10-12 foot distance between the homes and they don't sit around the part of the house nearest to ours. So we do have it easier without kids.
ReplyDeleteBaxter
That's great! Never would have thought of the need to hide it from the dogs!
DeleteOn the opposite end of the question, we do nothing to hide the activities.
ReplyDeleteIn our house lives Her, me, Her ex-husband (She is polyamorous) and a 24 year old female boarder. They are quite aware of the spankings She gives me, and have each witnessed more than a few.
The labrador we had, until she passed away a couple weeks ago, used to growl and attack any paddle that She used on me, so we learned to put her out of the room and close the door.
The pit bull we still have hides under the bed when such activities begin.
Our spanking bench is in plain sight in the living room. It is not pointed out to visitors ("Hey, you see that?") but if any ask about it, the truth is told. ("When I think it's necessary, he strips down and kneels on it, and I spank his bottom").
Neither of us bring up the subject in conversation ourselves (in conversation with vanilla folk) but if the conversation is broached, the truth is told.
I had a feeling you would respond with a comment that you don't hide anything. :-) So, a few follow-ups, if you will indulge me:
Delete-- Were you always so free from being embarrassed, or is it a freedom you consciously developed in some way? If so, how?
-- Are you in a job or career and, if so, do your co-workers know about your lifestyle?
-- Are you in a city where the culture is fairly tolerant of people's kinks, or are you in the Bible Belt and flouting all conventions, or something in between?
Do tell. Inquiring minds want to know!
Well, now, since you asked:
Delete-- I was utterly ashamed of my spanko desires for, oh, most of my life. When I came out of the closet, so to speak, I did it in a big way, and it was a conscious effort, a decision on my part to think, "what do I care, what other people think of me, about this?"
It does help to be a member of the Fetlife community, where nobody passes judgment on anybody else's kinks.
-- I work 40 hours a week (squeezed into three long shifts, Sunday Monday Tuesday) evening/graveyard, for a limo company, so for half of any given shift, I am alone in my office.
I wear a necklace around my neck that is the collar my wife/Mistress gave me.
One female chauffeur commented on how nice it looks, and I said, "Yes, it's the slave collar my wife gave me," and she just ... laughed.
Otherwise, nobody at work knows, simply because they haven't asked the right questions.
-- Los Angeles! ANYthing goes!
I would have guessed San Francisco, but LA is probably only slightly less hospitable to open kinkiness.
DeleteTrust me... only SLIGHTLY less, if at all, less hospitable than SF.
DeleteTwo months after our wedding, we spent four days or so at my parents' house, some 1900 miles away.
ReplyDeleteIt was my birthday, and sitting around in the kitchen/dining room on my birthday, Merry suggested with a sly twinkle in her eye, "Shall we give him, a birthday spanking?"
Mom said, quite seriously, "Oh no..."
Merry asked, "Why not?"
Mom answered, "The last time I told him I was going to spank him, he looked at me square in the eye and said, 'Just ...try.' So, I don't think so..."
Merry smiled, and just let it drop, while I continued sitting there, with a very straight face.
So, any conversation about just how often Merry spanks me did NOT happen.
Meanwhile, during our stay there, we managed to find time, in the privacy of our guest bedroom, in a part of the house furthest away from the kitchen and living room, for twice a day spankings, and three on my birthday.
So, do you hide your activities from your parents now?
DeleteWe returned home from that trip without them knowing
Delete( I assume without them knowing, they might have heard us, and just not said anything)
And we correspond by email daily, but since there's been no reason to write about the activities, I have not done so.
Well our kids are grown and out of the house. My wife started DD after the last child was gone.
ReplyDeleteMy wife only uses an oversized ping pong paddle – so it is in plain site on the mantle … not unusual since we have several paddles and balls for the pp table.
My spankings always occur in our bedroom – but can occur at any time of the day. After she explains my rule violation or misconduct, I am usually told to “go up and get prepared for your punishment”. I have to await her arrival totally naked. I never know whether she will put me over her knee, over the bed or leave me standing for my spanking. And as has been said … even if I have an erection, there is no sex or sexual aspect to my spanking – its punishment. I’m also very aware to not let anyone see my spanked rear-end at the gym or spa.
Thanks for the contribution. Seems to be a lot of people who get around the hiding problem by using common household items.
DeleteHi Dan! Its Susie. I don't have any little ones at home. My children are all out of the house. We have furbabies but they can't talk, and they don't judge either.
ReplyDeleteWe don't discuss spanking with people we know, but I will sometimes tease him in front of people. I think it keeps him in line and on edge in a good way. I have told a girlfriend or two about my spanking him and even showed them my paddle assortment. They laughed but I think they think I'm joking. Maybe one day soon I'll show them how to handle an unruly man that acts like a little boy.
Hey Susie! It's hard to imagine they think you're joking if you showed them your paddle assortment. More likely, they're laughing nervously, afraid you might use it on THEM. ;-)
DeleteI think we both tried to keep it a secret, my mother -in-law found out by accident and my wife told her BF, I do not think anyone else knew back then.
ReplyDeleteTK
If you wouldn't mind sharing, how did your mother-in-law find out?
DeleteMy wife had been disciplining me for more then 3 years and we got careless and left the garage door open and she came in thru door. She had been tot he farmers market and some of it by our home. She only lived about 2 miles away.
DeleteTK
That must have been truly mortifying.
DeleteI did everything I could not to be around when she was coming over, it was several weeks before we were together, nothing was said but I felt sure she was thinking about it. I found out that my wife had been telling her BFF about it from the start and that she started talking to her mother about it after this happen.
DeleteTK
A general comment on mother-in-law spankings, most older women have gotten to the point that they have held back at a younger age, now do what they should have done back then and that is give a spanking, and believe you me, the older women will spank you like nothing you have had before.
ReplyDeleteWith concern that I will bore readers with more comments on this topic this will be my last post about this. This blog has been very helpful in finding others who have shared their experiences. For decades I repressed my experience and my response to it thinking I might be really alone. My mother in law is gone now but the memory is still fresh all thesis years later. While she spankec me only once on several occasions she made comments about spanking and a few times she asked me in private if I wanted another "taste" of her strap, I surely did not. I did over the years get accounts from her other kids of their experiences of spankings from their mom and they all said when she got hold of them it was something they would feel for days. The boys were treated differently as she sometimes made them cut a switch and made them stand pants down for a long time showing the switch marks. The girls mentioned the strap she used on me and they said if she went toward the drawer where she kept the strap they all knew they wouldn't sit well for a while. This kind of maternal discipline was not unusual 40 years ago.it was a long time before I could reconcile my excepting albeit reluctantly the spanking she gave me, in some way I deserved it.
ReplyDeleteBart this is Susie: Please don't stop! You are NOT at all boring, and I find you and the others to be fascinating.
ReplyDeleteI am concerned about distracting readers who find no fascination in younger men being really disciplined by older women. I did find solace in seeing the stories of other men spanked by their mothersin law. It seemed like the others might be from England where there is for sure a very long history of spanking
ReplyDeleteMy mother-in-law died shortly after we were married, but it seems she was in the habit of disciplining her (late) husband... which may explain why her daughter (my wife!) felt entitled to deal in the same way with any misbehavior on my part. In fact, when she sold (and emptied) her mother's house, one of the items she retrieved was an old rattan cane that had apparently been used many times before - and which she likes to apply to my backside on "special occasions" (in addition, of course, to her several other "tools")...
ReplyDeleteL.