Meeting 516 - The Cane - Is it Really the Most Fearsome Spanking Implement?

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.  - Abraham Maslow

Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club.  Our weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship.

 

Once again, before we get started, I would like to thank the Disciplinary Wives who have recently joined us and to extend an invitation to all others who may be inclined to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We like having you around.

 

Another housekeeping point before we get started: We seem to be getting an influx of anonymous comments. Which is fine, but please comply with the instructions at the bottom of the comment section, which include using a name or initials when commenting. It helps us all keep track of who we are replying to and also helps establish a stronger sense of community among group members.

 

I hope you all had a great week.  Mine was pretty busy dealing with some medical stuff (nothing serious) and some hobby stuff.  The medical stuff included some routine but yucky medical tests (all good), plus an injection for my ongoing knee problems. The shoulder I wrecked last summer is also relatively pain-free right now thanks to another injection.  And, I finally seem to have gotten past a cycle of infections, including the flu and a couple of sinus infections.  So, for the first time in almost four months, I’m feeling good and am mostly pain-free.  Hopefully, it’s the beginning of a new, better trajectory and a good set up for an active spring.

 

I reported last week on the vacation Anne and I took a couple of weeks ago, which included a doctor’s housecall to our hotel. As I recounted, Anne ended up getting a shot in the butt.  The prospect that I might get the same created a potentially embarrassing situation, as Anne had given me a hairbrush spanking a couple of days before.  As it turned out, there was no cause for alarm, as the doctor decided I didn’t need a shot.  Further, because the spanking had been with a hairbrush, I knew that it was unlikely that I actually had any significant marking or shading.

 

What I didn’t report was that I was worried that there might still be some residual marking from some experimentation we did the week before we left, with a heavy, dense, synthetic cane.  

 

As I’ve related a few times, we tried caning a handful of times early on in our DD relationship, but it didn’t seem to work for us. Anne found it awkward, and it just didn’t really hurt very much.

 

However, the same thing could be said for our earliest DD experimentation, which centered on the OTK position with a hairbrush.  It just didn’t seem effective, so we moved on to other things. A couple of years ago, however, we tried it again.  Although the hairbrush was still only moderately impactful (though it hurt way more than when we tried several years before), Anne quickly became able to deliver a mean swing with the bath brush in the OTK position. It has been our go-to position ever since.

 

The bath brush hurts like hell, even OTK. But, the one thing that combination doesn’t deliver is marks that last. In recent years, I just don’t bruise or mark very much. I do think I am getting bruised from a hard bath brushing, but it’s at a deeper level, resulting in some gray shading that may last several days, plus a deep, achy reminder that the bath brush is a very capable instrument.

 

I don’t know exactly why, but I miss the prominent marking/bruising I experienced in the first few years of our DD relationship.  A bruised butt and deep residual soreness served as a multi-day reminder of our new hierarchy and my humbled place in it. Welts would be a perfectly acceptable substitute for bruising.

Anne also seemed to get some perverse pleasure from a visual representation of a job well done.  Conversely, there have been a few times in recent years that she’s expressed disappointment when, a day after a hard spanking, there wasn’t much visual evidence that she had, in fact, spanked me hard.

 

 

Hence, I started thinking that we should try the cane again.  My renewed interest was also stimulated from some of your comments from several weeks ago. I didn’t do a great job of documenting who contributed them, but it was a mix of comments from ZM and Merk Smith. Here are some snippets: 

 

ZM: The cane is able to cause real fear, at least if your wife knows how to use it properly. Why is that different than other tools? Especially since even Merk said "despite although different it is not necessarily more painful than other well applied instruments." The difference is that all other spanking tools - except maybe in very rare circumstances like being spanked by a tennis champion - rely on repetition to cause their maximum pain. Also Merk: "One good cane stroke on a bare bottom will leave a welt that will be lumpy and sore to touch or in the shower for a couple of days." What other tool can do that?

 

The reason that matters is because if your wife knows how to cane properly, it sort of becomes a binary affair. Even one stroke is going to cause pain that will last for days, and from the moment you hear the first whistle of the cane, there is no turning back on that. With other spanking implements, she can always decide to go easy on you and end early, but once she decides to use the cane, days of pain are ensured, and the only question is "how many stripes?"

 

One thing that I just realized about the cane is that it can be the perfect tool to solve one of the dilemmas I have often pondered. The dilemma is that not every misdeed is worthy of a full-fledged, long, hard spanking, yet at the same time, for a spanking to even be a real punishment, it has to be sufficiently hard and long to not only be almost unbearably painful at the time but also leave at least some lasting reminder of the spanking.

 

The cane can solve this problem completely. Even a single well applied cane stroke with leave a burning line of fire across your bottom, and the effects will be felt for days. But at the same time, more cane strokes ramp up the whole effect dramatically. So even a single cane stroke can be used as an effective punishment for something minor and will be felt enough to be remembered for days, yet many cane strokes will result in something that will be much more unpleasant both at the time it is administered and also in the days that follow. I love paddles, but I don't think they can be used as effectively in this manner; it may be possible to hit hard enough that one paddle stroke would be felt for days, but then it would also seem like a bigger punishment since so much surface area of your bottom is hurting. At least for my wife and the way she uses the paddle, the punishment comes not so much from individual blows, but rather from the cumulative effect.

 

Merk Smith: Definitely ZM, one good cane stroke on a bare bottom will leave a welt that will be lumpy and sore to touch or in the shower for a couple of days. Keep adding strokes and you now have marks that will remain for more than a week, and more than six strokes will inevitably cross previous strokes... at this point you have deep bruising that will be felt every time you sit or move for more than a week.

 

In addition to the effect on the recipient, Donn had talked a bit about the cane’s potential effect on the wife using it:

 

"In my experience, a woman has never, ever really known her DD power and authority until she starts using a cane -- it's transformative. Likewise, a man never fully understands a woman's power and authority until he is at the opposite end of that cane."

 

Donn’s observation echoes some of Aunt Kay’s comments in her pamphlet on caning techniques. She seems to suggest that, while both are iconic, the cane has a “vibe” that is almost the exact opposite of the hairbrush used OTK. The latter is almost inherently maternal and erotic.  Yet, there are times when that is not what is needed. As she put it:

 

Many who participate in the DWC Lifestyle actually enjoy elements of spanking and related activities. It becomes a something like a special and intimate secret between them and special trusted friends. Some of us gather occasionally for spanking events/play parties and so on. Even when corporal

punishment is being meted out with real sternness, there is still the presence of a certain loving intimacy.

 

Yet there will always be occasions when punishment simply means punishment; demanding a real distance between the DWC wife - as a stern disciplinarian - and husband - as offender, involving a maximum of gravity and a minimum of levity. These are the occasions when it must be resolutely demonstrated who is the boss in the situation and who must obey. At times like this nothing can best the cane as a representation of detached authority whose power is contained in its very calmness.

 

 The power of the cane lies not just in its capacity to inflict pain of ego-exploding proportions; it lies also in the fact that when it is brought out, it indicates serious displeasure in a disciplinarian.  Anyone who has even seen, let alone felt, an authentic crook-handled cane will have been at once impressed by its awe-inspiring, impersonal dignity.

 

This is where the cane can become the factor that really makes a difference. Topping from the bottom must be eliminated before a proper disciplinary relationship can flourish, and the cane is the supreme instrument for eliminating it. Its chilling ferocity will rid a husband of any illusion that he can retain the master key to his disciplinary relationship, and that he can duck out when it doesn’t suit him. 

 

A single session with the cane - administered with cool assurance will eliminate once and for all any lingering idea in a man’s head that he can have his cake and eat it. He will know, standing in the corner struggling to come to terms with his spinning head and his smoldering derrière - that his fantasy world is a thing of the past. He will realize the wisdom behind the words “watch out what you wish for, you might just get it”. The genuine caning session teaches him that his wife’s disciplinary options are nothing to be trivialized. What she decides goes, and he has no say in the matter.

 

I gave Anne a copy of the pamphlet a few weeks ago and asked her to consider trying it again. I also set up a chair, with a pillow roped to its back, for her to practice on.

 

She finally gave it a try shortly before we went on vacation. It came at the end of a full OTK session with the hairbrush and bath brush.  She only did about 8 strokes. The first couple were very timid. I actually had to encourage her to swing harder. The last few were hard and did hurt. Though she still lacked confidence in her swing, I did get a glimmer of the kind of concentrated pain the cane probably would deliver once she does have that confidence.

 

Even with the less than full-force swing, there was significant bruising. But, it was in kind of an odd place. I expected I might get some from the tip wrapping around to the hip or otherwise hitting in a usually unspanked area.  Instead, I got welts where you would expect them but also an area of angry bruising right between the cheeks, near the top.  How it would cause bruising there, I have no idea.

 

I had to give Anne a lot of reassurance about that marking and that it was okay. I’m not entirely sure why, because in the early days of DD she left some very significant bruising with wooden paddles, and it never seemed to bother her.  Maybe it was just that it’s been so many years since that happened, coupled with her lack of comfort with this new tool.

 

Anne had also gotten it into her head that the cane should be restricted to six, evenly-spaced strokes. I think she must have skipped over this from Aunt Kay’s pamphlet:

 

If you are giving 6 strokes, your fifth will have landed at the tops of his thighs, and he will now have six evenly spaced welts to sit on for the next few days. If you are giving 12, then they will be closer together, but still from the middle of his bottom to the tops of his thighs. And likewise for 18 or 24. The number of strokes is for you to decide. I give 6 strokes when 6 minor offences have been committed, and I find that this keeps him very attentive to good behaviour generally, and serves as a reminder of what he'll get if he commits a more serious offence and receives 12, 18 or 24 strokes.

 

I usually don’t focus posts on a single instrument, and I find most of the instrument-focused topics kind of dry. But, some of the readers do seem to have a thing for canes, and given that we are just starting to experiment with them again, I’m really interested in getting input from those of you who are experienced with them.  A few questions to kick things off:

 

Is the cane a part of your spouse’s disciplinary repertoire? If not, do you want it to be?

 

Do you think the cane is widely used in the US, or is it primarily an English thing? Is that because it was widely used in British schools? For those who are interested in it or use it, does its use in the traditional school setting add to the mystique?

If you use the cane, what type?  Do you use traditional rattan, a synthetic material like Delrin, or both?

 

What thickness and length do you use?

 

When you use it, is it usually the only tool used during that session, or does she use it in conjunction with other instruments? If the latter, is there a particular order that seems most effective?

 

Do you find that the cane really is more powerful and intimidating than other instruments?  Do you fear it above other instruments?

Do you experience more marking/bruising with the cane than with other instruments? Does the pain last longer?

 

How many strokes are usually given?

 

Does the fact that the strokes are delivered more silently than with other instruments play a role in your choice to use or not use it?

 

Thanks for your input on this.  I hope it isn’t a bore for those who don’t use this particular implement.  I'll close with this drawing by RedRump.  While it's not F/m, I think it's one of his sexiest works.

Have a great week.