“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.” - Ernest Hemingway.
Hello all. Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club. Our weekly meeting of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline and/or Female Led (FLR) relationships.
Once again, before we get started, I would like to extend a specific invitation to any of our female readers, if they still exist, to move from “lurker” to “commenter” status. We miss having you around.
I hope you all had a great week. Ours was pretty uneventful, which is mostly good though I also feel like we are in a big rut where DD—or more accurately, the absence of DD—is concerned. We got busy around the holidays and, even though I probably deserved multiple ones from Thanksgiving on, it didn’t happen. So, now it’s going on two months, and while I’m not exactly missing getting spanked, I do miss feeling more firmly under her control.
Of course, it’s not like there isn’t a real reason or two to get one, though it would probably involve expressly asking for one. In fact, somewhat ironically, the most obvious reason why I should get one is procrastinating on asking her to agree to a plan for dealing with . . . procrastination.
In my first post of the new year, I talked about how I felt like I stalled last year when it came to forward progress on big life goals. I spent some time between Christmas and New Years working through my thoughts about which post-retirement life goals I felt like I really wanted/needed to at least try for and came up with some ideas around concrete action items to move the ball forward. Now, here we are 20 days into January, and I’ve done little or nothing on any of them, including presenting anything about them to Anne to stimulate a discussion about whether she’s willing to supply some motivation.
While I didn’t get much accomplished this week and there was no disciplinary activity at home, it still was an interesting week for me where spanking and DD-FLR references were concerned.
First, as I talked about in a comment last week, I’ve been bingeing the series Fargo on Hulu. Season 4 is by far my least favorite of the five seasons, but it starts out with a bang. In the opening scene of the first episode, we are introduced to the narrator and major character, a brilliant and precocious black teenager in Kansas City in the 50s. We know she’s precocious because she says so in narrating a series of scenes in which she is either waiting in the principal’s office for a paddling or is being escorted back to class after a paddling. In one scene, she’s standing by her desk post-spanking and her teacher tells her to sit down. She declines after multiple attempts, making it clear she got the kind of paddling that makes sitting a very painful experience.
Even though the series is pretty new, it doesn’t exactly present these school paddlings as abuse with all the pathos and condemnation we might expect, though it is clear that 1950s racial dynamics are at the heart of why we see black teenagers being paddled by a white principal. In any event, while I have seen other school paddlings in movies and TV, this is perhaps the most explicit I’ve seen since Dead Poets Society.
Second, I overheard a conversation that had nothing to do with disciplinary spanking, but for someone with my proclivities, it might as well have. I had just finished a workout at the gym and decided to put in a few minutes in the sauna before showering. There were four guys in the sauna when I sat down, and they were having a very animated conversation. One of the participants was an older gentleman with a very heavy accent from somewhere in Africa. I’ve overheard some of his other locker room conversations, including one in which he said he is a professor at the local college. I have no idea how the conversation started, but as I settled in the professor was talking about how a friend of his advised that we all need to find a woman who is basically a controlling nag. The gist was something along the lines of, "My friend makes a good case that you don't want a passive woman. You want one who is constantly nagging and pestering you. One who is always asking what you are doing and why. One that is always questioning your judgment."
One of the younger guys looked flummoxed and asked, "Why the hell would I want something like that?"
The professor replied, "Because that is the way the world works. It nags you and pesters you and constantly shows how your judgment was wrong. You won't make as many mistakes and will start making better decisions if your wife questions you constantly. She will keep you in line and keep you from making as many mistakes."
I swear the younger guy then replied with, "Yeah, I can see that. Kind of like she’s holding me accountable."
I smiled broadly and nodded along.
Third, a few weeks ago a commenter here said (I presume tongue-in-cheek) “Do you have any idea how many warmed bottoms you have been responsible for?” I replied that if he meant men who had decided to try DD because of this blog, I thought the number was probably very low. My experience has been that most of the men who have found this blog did so after they were already in a DD or FLR relationship. Well, this week a guy reached out to me by email and said he had read some of my stuff and was planning to ask his wife to give him real disciplinary spankings. He kept me up to date as the discussions were going along, and his wife was receptive to the idea. I have to admit, it was gratifying.
Despite all those DD-related cues, this is another week that I struggled a bit to come up with a topic. But, one of Alan’s comments from a week ago gave me an idea. In discussing leaving instruments on display, he said:
We have a different approach to the display of her disciplinary tools. It is something we used early at my suggestion and something she has returned to many times. She had an old-style armless straight-backed chair when we met. It became her go-to, along with the couch, when she spanked me OTK. She kept it in a guest bedroom, where she often took me for punishment.
After marriage, I suggested she keep it in our bedroom in a corner with a hairbrush on it to remind me of her authority. She did so, and it really worked.
His reference to being spanked in two different bedrooms made me curious about which rooms in the house others are spanked in. I realize this is a narrow, pedestrian topic—right up there with “what’s your least favorite instrument”—yet it is something I genuinely am curious about.
Also, since Alan's comment centered on a piece of furniture, let's also talk about which items of furniture you have incorporated into your spanking sessions.
This an area where we are not very adventurous. Since the kids grew up and moved out, 99% of our spankings have been in our bedroom.
Since rediscovering OTK a couple of years ago, the vast majority of spankings have been with her sitting on a large leather ottoman at the foot of our bed.
There also have been a few with her sitting on the bed. On the rare occasion (these days) that she’s using a strap or large paddle, it tends to be with me bending over the side of the bed.
In earlier days, it was very common for her to strap me while I was laying on the bed, draped over several large pillows.
A couple of months ago, she decided to spank me in one of the guest bedrooms. The change of scene definitely added a little something to the experience, as did the fact that we live in one of those depressing suburban neighborhoods with small lots, with houses absurdly close together. The way that room is configured, the bed is very close to a window that faces dead-on one of the windows in my neighbor’s house, with only a few yards separating the two. While Anne did decide to close the window shades, there still was a non-trivial risk that a spanking could be overheard.
In the old days, when we had little kids in the house, spankings almost always took place in the basement, usually with me draped over the arm of a couch or a small stool.
That’s really about it. Like I said, we haven’t been very adventurous.
How about you? Which rooms in your house or apartment have you been spanked in?
Bedrooms?
Home office/library?
Kitchen?
Living room/family room?
Bathroom?
Let’s also add other “rooms” on the property, like garages, barns, and the iconic woodshed.
I hope you have a great week.
I am struggling to think of an occasion where I have been spanked in a room that wasn't a bedroom. Our oldest child is only just reaching the age where being heard is something to be concerned about. However, we soundproofed the bedroom a while ago, which is useful as parents, because you can attenuate the sound of a baby crying, enabling you to decide for yourself what you want to listen to (via a baby monitor), rather than having to listen to everything. The bedroom has so far suited our needs for spanking, so we haven't felt the need to consider other rooms.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure how relevant this is to the topic, but I quite like the idea of a spanking bench, hypothetically. It isn't in line with spanking positions we have tended to use until now, but it seems like it might provide some variety.
J
I've thought about spanking benches and even shopped for one a few times. But, they are pretty bulky, and there is really nowhere to store one out of sight. We talked last week about being "out" and, while it has some attractions, I'm not interested in being THAT out yet.
DeleteAlso, one reason that our spankings have become pretty standardized--almost always OTK and using only a couple of instruments--is because we wanted to simplify things so every spanking didn't feel like a big production. We both thought that might help with consistency. Also, the maternal discipline vibe is pretty important to me, and a spanking bench seems to take things in a very different direction, toward something more Femdom-ish.
Agreed, excessive complexity with spankings can become a barrier to their frequency. Simple spankings that ultimately bring us together are better than complex spankings that become a distraction for other things.
DeleteThinking about it, the reason you gave regarding femdom is probably another reason why we haven't done it: it is very far removed from our normal positions!
I suppose it would be nice if we had the circumstances with prevailing culture to allow me to be that out, but I am certain it won't be within my lifetime!
J
When I am going to be spanked, she asked me to "set things up", which means, put 2 kitchen chairs in the center of the living room, along with extra pillows, and get out the paddles. We sit facing each other, and when we are done with our check in, I will either be ordered in the corner or over her lap. There is a nice exposed quality to being spanked in the center of the living room. If it is a punishment spanking, after 5 minutes, we may move to the bedroom, where I will be on the bed, propped up with pillows. After a break, she can continue the spanking and paddle harder than she could with me across her lap. Our front door has some windows at the top, so if a tall person came to the door, they could witness the spanking. Once the mail came when a spanking was in progress, and it was pretty noisy.
DeleteWe have huge picture windows and glass doors off of both our living room and family room. If she wanted to maximize the chances of someone seeing, those would definitely be the places to do it.
Delete
ReplyDeleteMainly bedroom and living room. I draw a distinction between discipline (most DD spankings) and punishment (rare and for more serious transgressions.). We created our own spanking bench, about twenty years ago she made what is especially a wood-based, heavy foam, covered cushion that clamps to a standard foldable workbench. Being spread-eagled over that, clamped wrists and ankles and body strapped down is right for a serious punishment. It does require preparation but is rarely used - average well under once per year - although it was a lot more in the early days. The implement is almost always a cane, although others may be mixed in. More typical is a much simpler process. We keep a single dining chair in the living room - no-one has ever asked why. It’s the ideal height, she can sit on it and I can then position comfortably with both hands and feet on the ground which has always felt to me to be necessary for any kind of discipline. I feel that lying flat across her lap on a bed or sofa just feels like a position for play spanking, not DD. Sometimes pants down, more often naked. Otherwise, the occasional impromptu caning bent over the end of the bed. TG
When I was putting together this post, it occurred to me that even though it is so iconic, I don't think she has ever spanked me OTK over an armless chair, like a common dining room chair.
DeleteThat was 90% of my marital spankings -- just like dear old mom used to do!
DeleteKOJ
If I've earnt a caning, it will be bent over the dining room table. Otherwise I'm spanked in the bedroom OTK.
ReplyDeleteThe dining room is another room in our house that would be very exposed.
DeleteQuite exposed in ours too Dan, most guests and friends come round to the back door and depending on their angle could get an eyeful. It is also open to large windows all round but due to angles there is not direct sight - however it is likely that a keen observer could see the cane motion. Does feel exposed though, when you bend over with no clothes!
DeleteWhen I think about getting spanked in rooms where someone could see in the window, it's the fact that my partial nudity is on display that I find most embarrassing -- moreso than the fact I am being punished by my wife. Weird, because when I was spanked at a party where people heard but didn't see, it was the fact that my wife had the authority to spank me and had just done so that I found so intensely embarrassing.
DeleteKOJ
FYI, I had an apres-spanking discussion with my wife last thing that includes some talk about your party experience, and your wife's strict approach as you've related it. Feel free to reach out by email if comfortable with that and I'll tell you more.
DeleteI’m sorry I was away last week and missed the topic on outing, since it is a topic that obsesses me. Is it worth going back and posting to that topic once everyone has moved on?
ReplyDeleteOn this week’s topic, I would say that 95 % of the spankings my wife has given me have been in the bedroom. Unfortunately, my wife almost never spanks OTK (my favourite fantasy position). My wife’s preferred position is with me bent over the end of the bed with a couple of pillows under my hips to raise my bottom, and my pants and underwear around my knees. I love that captioned picture of the woman on the way to the bedroom with a paddle and strap in hand saying that she hopes her husband’s bottom is elevated and bared for his spanking because that’s how spankings happen in our house. My wife orders me to go to the bedroom and get ready. She follows me to the room shortly thereafter, sometimes giving me a bit of time to think about about things in that embarrassing position with my bottom raised and bared. Images of women carrying spanking implements on the way to give a spanking really turn me on for some reason. Maybe it symbolizes the the disciplinarian’s determination and forethought. In reality, my wife wouldn’t have an implement in hand when she follows me to the bedroom because the implements she uses are all kept there. When my wife spanks me during daylight hours, she leaves the window blinds open. That makes the spanking feel somewhat public, even though nobody on the street or in the house across the road could see me in my bent over position. My wife, however, faces the window when she spanks me, so she has a view of the street, and a really observant passersby—one of you guys, for example—would perhaps be able to tell from a head and shoulders view of my wife that she was giving a spanking. I have been spanked in other rooms, mainly the kitchen and the living room, but not often. I have on a couple of occasions been spanked in the garage when we have been working outside in the garden and I have shown attitude about my beast of burden role. That’s because my wife tends not to delay spankings once she decides I need one, and going into the bedroom in our dirty gardening clothes would not be an option when there is more outdoor work to do. Thus, my wife might order me into the garage for a semi outdoor attitude adjustment. Since we don’t have any spanking implements in the garage, my wife uses her hand, wearing a leather garden glove. It doesn’t hurt as much as an indoor spanking with an implement, but the heightened feeling of exposure in the garage has a powerful attitude adjustment effect. Though a garden glove smacking a bottom doesn’t make a loud noise, I sometimes worry that neighbours across our backyard fence might hear my wife scolding me, all the more so because she doesn’t close the back door of the garage when she spanks there.
GH
I don't know how many people go back and read the comments from prior weeks (probably not that many), but I don't have any problem with posting a comment on the former week's topic during the current week.
Delete"I love that captioned picture of the woman on the way to the bedroom with a paddle and strap in hand saying that she hopes her husband’s bottom is elevated and bared for his spanking because that’s how spankings happen in our house. . . .Images of women carrying spanking implements on the way to give a spanking really turn me on for some reason." You tend to comment favorably on captioned pictures and art that are also among my favorites. We seem to have very similar tastes in that area. I also have a thing for pictures of women ascending stairs carrying implements. There seems to be a sweet spot for me where a photo or picture is clearly about spanking, but it isn't blatantly sexualized. In fact, particularly in pics and drawings with female spankers, the more nudity the less it does something to me. And, it's clearly the female spanker that drives my reaction, because I don't need to see the recipient to have that emotional response and, in fact, I tend to have stronger responses to things a fully-clothed spanker carrying implements.
DeleteA fully clothed woman spanker -- as my wife almost always was -- is making it clear that there is nothing sexual happening and that there is a clear power disparity between a clothed spanker and a bare bottom (or nude) spankee.
DeleteKOJ
Yes, yes, yes to pictures of women ascending stairs with a spanking a paddle or strap in hand! I used to have a file folder of just pictures like that, I find them so arousing. And like you I like the woman to be fully dressed. If the woman is partially undressed, that ruins it for me because it casts doubt on the reality of the spanking that is about to take place. As said, my wife’s spanking implements are kept in the bedroom, so that image would not be seen in r/l in our house. So why does it resonate so deeply? Maybe it is because it has a maternal discipline vibe. Think about it. Most disciplinary wives probably keep their spanking implements in the bedroom, since marital DD is a generally a secret. But when I was growing up, it was no secret that our parents spanked us. And when my mother sent us to our room for a spanking, she would be carrying the paddle or strap when she came to our room to spank us. Therefore, one implication of the image of a woman ascending stairs with an implement is that the spanking isn’t secretive: anyone in the house, whether siblings or guests, might see your mom going up the stairs, or down the hall, and they would know exactly what was going to happen. I guess that when I see a picture of a woman carrying a spanking implement upstairs, I imagine that the image represents the perspective of a witness who knows what is about to happen and is going to hear it.
DeleteGH
Dan, it is really nice to be able to go back and revisit older posts, which I do often.
DeleteYour site is like an encyclopedia of DD and F/M spanking. A few of my favorite photos you posted this week are of the wife getting the paddle from the bookcase and the one with the guy bent over a couch. Both portrayed a very normalized F/M spanking happening and about to happen. Both photos show the wife being completely in charge, without a lot of emotion. There is a feeling conveyed that this is just their regular routine, and reminds me a lot of my situation. There is something about the feeling of the wife just taking care of business, and the guy being completely submissive, that is very erotic to me.
I've always liked both of those, too. I often don't post Barbara O'Toole's drawings (that's the one with the woman taking down a paddle from the bookcase), because so often her recipients are clearly not just young but very young. To me, it's a shame, because many of hers perfectly illustrate the subject of a post. For example, I've done posts on anticipation and pre-spanking anxiety, and she has a drawing of a girl splayed out over a large ottoman. It would have been the perfect "ottoman" illustration for this week's post that includes "furniture." But, the subject in her drawing just looks way too young for me to feel comfortable posting it. Every once in a while I will break my own rule and use a drawing with a kid as the recipient to illustrate a point about parental discipline, but almost never if the subject seems sexualized, and the drawing I'm referencing from Barb seems to me to cross that line.
DeleteI agree with you that the more "normalized" the depicted scene, the more I tend to gravitate to it.
Agreed. I am really taken with the bookshelf image, but even there the man is plausibly an older boy. I like to think he's a college student who found a professor's wife to keep him on track.
DeleteGoodLifeMickey here. 99% of the spankings Mrs GL gives are in the bedroom although bizzarrly about 15 years before we became F/M we gave each other a playful belt spanking in my then work office.
ReplyDeleteWith professional disciplinarians I have been spanked in front rooms, studio flats, studies and an attic set up with some bdsm equipment. The one that stands out was the front room of a place which looked over the River Thames and had a massive picture window. The curtains weren't drawn so if any boats had passed by they would have caught a sight or two! Cheers GLM.
For the last several years of my work life, my office would not have worked at all -- glass doors and glass wall facing the hallway.
DeleteI can't imagine being spanked in the newsroom!
DeleteKOJ
Though a few readers might have liked to!
DeleteKOJ
After the holidays, we had extra chair left in the kitchen. I stuck it in the guest bedroom to get it out of the way. Dev noticed it and thought it be a good place to have “ discussions”. Soon after it was used for that purpose. She now calls it “ the spanking room “. It’s only been used a couple times for the more serious stuff. It’s like an indoor version of the woodshed but not nearly as harsh. JR
ReplyDeleteI do like the idea of having a separate room for that purpose, so that over time it ends up making a special impression every time you enter into to.
DeleteMy wife's go-to spot post-children was OTK in the kitchen, to the point that one of the chairs was left turned around facing the middle of the room. I got very familiar with the imperfections in the tile floor!
ReplyDeleteNevertheless, I was spanked at least once in every room of the house plus the garage plus the shed -- at times when she couldn't wait to correct me, ordering an immediate pants-down and grabbing the nearest implement.
My least favorite was the living room because we had a big picture window with translucent curtains overlooking the front porch -- where deliveries were made and where visitors would call. I complained bitterly but she merely replied that if I behaved myself I would not be in this embarrassing position. Fortunately (I guess), I would have had to crane my neck to see the window, which she did not allow. I never heard the bell ring, but delivery people seldom do that anymore. She would not tell me if anyone ever stepped on the porch while my bare bottom was facing the window. "Maybe the fear of that will help you behave," she said.
Pre-children, spankings were in the bedroom on a long leather bench at the end of our bed.
KOJ
I meant pre-children gone, of course.
DeleteKOJ
It probably says a lot about the ambivalence some of us have around authenticity that, on the one hand, I can't help but admire your wife's attitude that avoiding embarrassment was always within your own control. On the other hand, I really would not like my wife to embrace a similar attitude.
DeleteShe definitely believed that my behavior was in my control, and therefore the DD consequences of my behavior were also within my control.
DeleteKOJ
It's true, or at least it's generally true so long as your wife doesn't add new, unannounced rules very often.
DeleteThat last drawing -- of the garage spanking because there was no room for the wife's car among the husband's junk -- made me laugh because a very similar thing happened to me. We have a two-car garage and my wife's car fit fine, but my tools and toys meant I had to park my car outside. One winter my wife decided that was not ok because I was taking the kids to school in a cold car. She told me I had a month to clean out the garage but I ignored her; I had no intention of cleaning the garage in the cold. I was out there one Saturday when the kids weren't around and she came out and started scolding me for my lack of progress. Before I knew what was happening she had me bent over my tool bench and was setting my bare ass on fire with a pickleball paddle! She gave me a week to get the garage sorted out and said thereafter she would be spanking me every day until it was done. A week later my car miraculously fit!
ReplyDeleteKOJ
I haven't had an experience like yours, but I laughed, too! The caption caught me off guard. It would be good for me to receive a catch-up spanking for the state of the garage...
DeleteWe have kind of the opposite issue where the garage is concerned. I will spend hours cleaning up the free bay to make room for things (like a motorcycle), only to come home the next day and find a bulky snowblower or a bunch of Anne's junk sitting right where I just cleaned up.
DeleteJust thought of another room memory: My wife taking me into a guest room that used to be a kid's room and spanking me there. When I asked her why, she said, "This is the last room to be christened."
ReplyDeleteI knew some couples would "christen" a room by having sex in it. But spanking? That was my wife!
KOJ
For sure the attitude that "I can spank you in any room of the house whenever I want to" was an indication of how much she enjoyed (and thrived on) her authority.
DeleteKOJ
We're so boring, the only room we've christened via spanking since becoming empty-nesters is one guestroom, and we have haven't christened any other rooms via sex.
DeleteI like the mix of light and serious questions. Light questions might be better entrances into the conversation for new readers. What questions could be most interesting to first-time writers who are women?
ReplyDeleteOurs are mostly in the basement for privacy. This discussion helped me decide to make that part of the basement a more special place for spanking. I'm thinking an innocuous implement hung nearby, a new rug, and a speaker on an end table to mask noise. I want my wife to want to spend time there. I want the experience of seeing her sitting there and immediately straightening up because of the association.
During the first year or two of the blog, I definitely noticed that the lighter questions like, "What's your favorite or least favorite instruments" drew in more first-time commenters. But, they also very often turned out to be "only time commenters." But, you're right that it's good to have a mix.
DeleteWhen we first started, all spankings were in the basement because of kids. It was by far the most private room in the house, because it was deep in the ground on all sides, with window wells no one could see into. Our current house sits on more of a slope, and the longest wall has a bank of large windows that are on the same level as my neighbors' side yard, with a split-rail fence separating the two yards and, thus, very easy visibility from their yard into our basement.
Hi Dan,
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, when I saw the title for this week, "Rooms for Spanking," my mind immediately went to a punishment room. For several years, my wife and I have talked about including a secret room in a new house (if we were to build one). This room would be not only secret, but also soundproof. Of course, one goal was for her to be able to spank me anytime it was necessary, without having to consider if we were alone or not. Especially during the time we were doing regular weekly check-ins, it was not uncommon for us to have to delay the check-ins because we couldn't get time alone. This part might be a moot point, since surely by then we will be truly empty nesters - though that process of kids leaving is taking a whole lot longer than I ever thought it might!
The scenario that we often talked about is like if we were having a party or at least a group of people in the house, and my wife might discretely tell me to go to the punishment room. She could then come in and spank me as long and hard as she wanted without anyone hearing, and then I would have to come back to the house full of people and act like nothing had happened.
As I think about it, it is somewhat strange that we talked about this idea so much, since it is kind of the opposite of having witnesses, in that we would be going to great lengths to make sure that they didn't know. On the other hand, somehow the idea of having people there, even if they have no clue what is going on, also makes it feel like they are witnesses, even when they are in fact witnessing nothing at all.
As for rooms in the house, we are probably over 90% bedroom, and during times that we have been truly alone in the house (with absolutely no chance of kids or others showing up), sometimes the living room, and I think several times in the kitchen.
As far as furniture, it is either bent over the bed (or sometimes laying on it) if we are in the bedroom or bent over the couch in the living room, so basically just using the normal furniture in the room. If we were to ever actually have our punishment room, then I think it would almost certainly have a spanking bench of some sort, which opens up all kinds of possibilities for incorporating restraints into spankings.
-ZM
I've thought several times about the possibility of having a secret room dedicated to discipline. For awhile, we had something kind of close to it. There is a large closet off the bathroom in our basement. It's not really soundproof, but there are no air vents and there would be two layers of doors between us and anyone who came down to the basement. We used it quite a bit when we had kids. I even thought about how cool it would be to replace the door with with one of those pre-made "hidden doors" that look like a book shelf. But, it wasn't ideal because it was pretty cramped. But, I've also just liked the intrigue of having a hidden room somewhere in the house.
DeleteI get what you mean about the attraction of getting a spanking with others in the house, even if you've taken measures to make sure there is no way they can hear. You're right, it's not like having witnesses, but I think it still carries enough theoretical risk of discovery that it triggers some exhibitionist emotions in me. Also, one reason that I'm never as hopeful as some others here about DD being more accepted is part of me *likes* the secrecy. It's like the secret room even if not used for spanking. I like secret societies, hidden rooms, people leading double lives, etc. It's ironic, because I can't keep a secret to save my life, yet I'm attracted on some level to things, people, groups that have a big secrecy element.
Also, I definitely get what you mean about how long for kids to finally be fully, truly out of the house and out on their own.
DeleteHi Dan,
DeleteYour thoughts of having a secret room, liking that DD is a naughty secret, and attraction to all things secret while not being good at keeping secrets yourself all are further clues that we must be twins separated at birth.
For having people in the house during a spanking, probably part of the attraction/thrill is due to the theoretical risk of them discovering, but also at least part of it is knowing that you have to rejoin the group as if nothing had happened. It is not much different than being spanked right before something like church, and having to sit still on a burning bottom (or maybe even worse with a plug in it or something) and act completely normal while surrounded by people who have no clue of what just happened. They are thinking of everything else, while you can think of nothing else.
-ZM
ZM, we really are, aren't we?
DeleteYou're right (at least for me) about the emotions associated with being around lots of people immediately after a spanking. I still remember vividly when, very early on after we started with DD, Anne called me at work and told me to drive home for a session at lunch. She gave me a very hard strapping and sent me back to work. Even though no one had any way of knowing what had happened, it still felt to me like they did. The whole afternoon, I had this nagging feeling that people must know that I was sitting on a very sore bottom.
I have been spanked right before church, work, going to people's houses, and going out to eat. I often felt like everyone knew. We frequented this diner that had a cushioned bench along a wall with uncushioned wood chairs opposite. My wife loved to go there after a spanking, slide onto the bench and make me sit on a hard chair, and watch me squirm. She liked to say in front of a waitress, "What's wrong? You got ants un your pants?"
DeleteKOJ
A large majority of my spankings take place in the living room. We are childless and privacy is far less of an issue for us. We both prefer OTK spankings and the couch supports my body very well when I am in position. It works better than our bed, which is a little too high for this purpose. Our curtains are often left open, but with our house location that's not a big concern.
ReplyDeleteIn our house, minor offenses and reminders are often handled with swats. These are given with a spatula and for that reason, they almost always happen in the kitchen. Beth will tell me to pull down my pants and give me around a dozen standing smacks: less than half of what a full spanking would be. This approach was her idea and she seems quite satisfied with its efficiency.
Kevin
We've never really done minor swats for minor offenses, but I can see how they could be very effective for real behavior modification.
DeleteDo you find that the minor swats take the wind out of the big event spankings, if those are important to you? Or does she have the time and energy for both? Without kids in the home, I could see doing both.
DeleteI wish my wife believed in minor swats! Maybe she considered the hairbrush minor and the bath brush major! But they were both major to me, though the bath brush was definitely more severe.
DeleteShe spanked with both the same way, regardless of my transgression. As hard and fast as she could swing for about 2 minutes, resulting in somewhere between 150 and 250 smacks (estimated, I could never keep count). Ouch!
KOJ
My wife is similarly "binary" in her spanking -- it's fully on every time regardless of the nature of offense. A few months ago, she did consciously moderate one a bit, but I think that's the first time in 20 years. I've tried to count many times but never succeeded. But, it's probably around 250 to 300. Unlike your wife, mine pauses between volleys to lecture,
DeleteThe few spankings I got were all in the bedroom bent over the end of the bed with a few cussions under my hips. Unfortunately my wife put DD on hold since the beginning of this year. I would have like to try other settings as well. Mike
ReplyDeleteCan I ask why she put it on hold? Is it something she might agree to bring back?
DeleteIf my wife thinks my response to her spatula was inadequate, or if the behavior continues, she doesn't hesitate to follow up with a more serious session with the hairbrush. Both experiences are quite humbling, but the brush is much longer and harder.
ReplyDeleteKevin
Dan,
ReplyDeleteThere seems to be some weird thing happening with a Google search for the blog site. They may be reducing page views and comments. I just discovered them when my bookmark stopped working. If you are not aware of them, I will send you a private message. Please let me know.
Alan
No, I hadn't seen that. Good timing -- I was planning to poll the group in my next post about whether to stay with Blogger or make the switch to WordPress. Maybe Google is making it an easy decision.
DeleteDan,
DeleteMy link on Firefox started directing me to last year's final article as if that was the end of the blog. Then, when I tried a keyword search (not using the URL), it took me to your blogger profile, which displays 5 separate links to the blog; only one (fourth) takes one to the active blog. The blog itself seems buried ( using any keyword search) behind several blogs, many of which are not even active
I used three different browsers in playing with this. The bottom line seems to be that it is difficult for anyone casually looking for the blog or even the general topic to find it. Ironically, your pseudonymous writing on Medium turned up several times when bloggers did not
Alan
Thanks for letting me know, Alan. Blogger is such a mess. FYI, my post for this upcoming week will explain a little more about the Medium platform, why I started doing some posting there, why I didn't talk about it on this blog until now, etc.
DeleteThough, the problem with the blog links on the profile probably is my fault. Some are just the pages linked to one of the tabs on this page. Others were blog names I reserved a long time ago and have never used.
DeleteIf children are at home, during a day, it's usually basement. During a night - bedroom. If we are home alone - kitchen.I work remotely and she likes to catch me in the kitchen during a coffee break for a spanking.
ReplyDelete