“Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted .” ― Randy Pausch
Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club. Our (mostly) weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship.
I hope you all had a good week and, for those who celebrate it, a great Christmas.
I’m not sure what happened to me this year. Christmas usually is by far my favorite holiday, but this year I just couldn’t seem to get into it. And, it wasn’t just me. Anne felt the same way. We liked seeing and being with family, but I think we both woke up this morning kind of glad the whole thing was over.
Oh well. Not every holiday can be special every year, right?
And, how about that cold front that hit most of the country? I took the dogs for a walk on Wednesday morning, and it actually was pretty pleasant. By late afternoon, temperatures had dropped by over 50°. Very frigid for a few days there.
How is the holiday season
going for the rest of you? Any pre- or
post-party spankings? Anything you should
be spanked for but haven’t been (yet)?
Any spanking-related gifts given or received?
Anne didn’t deliver any preventative spankings this holiday season. Perhaps it was because we had family around most of the time. Though, it also was a function of not having a lot of social events on the calendar. We went to only one actual holiday party and stayed less than two hours. Like I said, it was just one of those years and neither of us was really in the mood.
The blog was pretty quiet over the holidays, but thanks to all of you who dropped in to exchange holiday greetings. During the course of one of those greetings, Alan made the following comment and suggestions:
To my surprise and delight my wife (who is now officially retired) has told me we are going to inaugurate a back to basics next year around our DD relationship. I am not sure what she is intending –but much more excited than intimidated by it at this point. She has asked me to acquire some toys and a couple of disciplinary items we have not used for a very long time (one never used). To my point: I am thinking of a possible topic/theme for an upcoming Blog (one that may be impractical).
Thinking about her direction, I realize I still have some questions (maybe more than some) about spanking related issues. I wonder if maybe some others have a few questions too that someone might be able to answer –maybe a kind of round robin, trading on our own unique experiences. To make this happen as I envision it, you could open up for a week or even less strictly to questions folks have about the art and practice of DD/FLR. Then collated a little, they could be presented ad seriatim to be discussed by whoever might wish to do so.
So, let’s do that. If you have any questions relating to the “art and practice of DD/FLR” that you’d like to raise for the group’s collective consideration, leave them in a comment, below. In an effort to keep the collating effort reasonable, please try to limit yourself to no more than THREE questions.
I’ll leave the process open until Thursday evening and will try to de-duplicate and summarize each question, posting them as separate comment threads in a new blog post.
Please do NOT answer any of the questions until I’ve compiled and posted a new post with them.
I hope you all have a great week as we drift ever closer to the new year.
We traveled 1100 miles home to be with family. It was for the most part a good time. I did get a preventative spanking before we left. We talked about how hard it is for me not to criticise her driving when she takes the wheel and agreed a spanking was in order to help me keep my mouth shut. I thought about all morning while we were getting ready. I had envisionedtouchan OTK spanking and the bonding of the personal touch of being over her knee but when the time came we were rushing around and she almost forgot. When I looked over at the paddle on the sofa she said thanks for the reminder but instead of sitting on the couch and taking me OTK
ReplyDeleteShe pulled the ottoman close to her chair and ordered me to bend over it. It was painful for sure but I was a little disappointed when she did let me up. This was not the spanking I had been thinking about all morning and I knew she finished long before she would have otherwise. Like is sometimes the case my fantasy is different then her reality. I did manage for the most part to keep my mouth shut. Just one slip of the tongue which she got after me about but seemed to forget quickly. I asked for this lifestyle and love her for the effort even if it fell short of my expectations.
Ward
We have what I would consider the worst combo when it comes to driving and criticism -- Anne is one of the worst backseat drivers you will ever encounter yet absolutely hates having her own driving criticized.
DeleteHi Dan,
ReplyDeleteMy three questions:
1. Dildos-If you use them as part of the discipline are they used before or after any spanking or are they used separately from the spanking aspects of the discipline?
2. Rubber Paddles- Are they used in your relationship at all and if so, are they used regularly or only occasionally?
3. Lexan Paddles -same question- are they used at all and if so, regularly or only occasionally?
By the way, preventatives came roaring back for us this year, the first in three years, and I doubt they will be suspended again for a while
Alan
There were multiple times this holiday that I thought a preventative might be in order, but it never happened. This year we seemed to have more houseguests for longer stretches than usual, which may have cut down on some of opportunities for preventative and earned DD.
Delete
ReplyDeleteThere are certain immutables : a DD spanking is always going to be physically painful and I assume it is always going to be on bare skin. However, I think that there are physiological aspects to this in addition to the purely physical. Whether the relationship is more generally FLR or not, at the time of the spanking, the spankee is making themselves subservient to their partner’s authority. My questions are really aimed at (1) learning if others also feel that and (2) if so, then how this manifests. So firstly : bare skin, but just pants down or completely naked ? And secondly : OTK or standing and bent over something ? I also feel there is a distinction between different types of OTK. Lying across the lap on a sofa or bed seems to me more a position for spanking play rather than DD, I believe a more appropriate position for DD has the spanker sitting on a suitable height chair with the spankee positioned across them so that their butt is their highest point and both hands and feet are on the floor. This feels to me a far more subservient position. So, do others feel that there is a strong physiological component to how a DD spanking is carried out and if so, what are the practices that reinforce or detract from that ambiance ? TG
My questions are:
ReplyDelete1) When multiple spanking instruments are used in a punishment (for example strap, paddle, cane), in which order should they be used for maximum effectiveness assuming that the goal is to maximize both immediate pain and longer lasting discomfort and to allow the spanking to continue as long as possible so delaying skin failure.
2) Alternate punishments - what alternate punishments do your wives use and which do you find most effective? This can be anything including old fashioned childhood punishments like enemas, castor oil, and mouthsoaping, as well as BDSM related things like nipple clamps, pegging, and so on, but only when those things are used as a punishment in a DD context.
3) What things can be done to maximize the effects of a spanking? Some I can think of are making your bottom cold or wet to make impact more painful, wearing pantyhose or tights to compress the skin and hold in heat, or perhaps different positions, but I am sure there are others.
-ZM
My questions are related to maintaining a long term spanking relationship. Do wives who spank begin to see it as a chore? If punishment is required for same issues more than a couple of times, is it less satisfying and more tedious?
ReplyDeleteAlong those same lines, the husband may find spankings less embarrassing after a while. How do others keep the experience fresh? Are there some changes to the routine that are especially effective? Is it unrealistic to expect satisfaction to remain at a high level for both?
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteHere is a question I have rising out of my observations, not only in writings like this blog, but also my actual conversations. As we, and the FLR ages, aided by becoming empty nesters, and winding up with fewer people around, it seems couples tend to be less careful about others 'discovering' your lifestyle. I don't mean broadcasting it or shouting from the rooftops, I mean less hidden. Some here have alluded to spanking near an open or undraped window. Others I have talked with find themselves spanked in less than private situations. Do we become less concerned about others knowing? Is it a change of mind of the female of the couple? As careers wind down are we more open about our lifestyles?
ReplyDeleteWard, I deleted two comments. As the post said, do not respond while people are submitting their questions. I will compile them into a separate post, and THEN people can respond.
ReplyDeleteDan, I know this is a late suggestion, but I've been curious about the duration of other people's spankings. And does it vary, depending on the circumstances leading up to punishment and the implement being used?
ReplyDeleteHope I am not too late with this. Possible questions:
ReplyDelete1) How to explain DD to children (whether they find out accidentally or they are told). Will you tell the whole truth? Will you sell them the benefits of such a way of doing things when they are older? And any other related points on this subject.
2) Reconciliation after a spanking. Hugging? Kissing? Or anything else. And what works best?
3) Post-spanking sex. Does it happen? Does the spanking typically have much of an effect on it? And anything else people think is relevant.
J
My wife suggested a question (more likely a "subject") that she is interested in learning more about. It is not something that can likely be answered with just a "sentence or two," so it may require an entire week's discussion. This is for the men . . .
ReplyDelete"Do you believe you have a "need" for Domestic Discipline (DD)? Or rather, is DD "useful" in your relationship, but your could (psychologically) "prosper" and "happily live" your life without it?
"All sorts of people have tried to define what are "truly human needs," and many people make a point of contradicting people when they claim something is one of there own personal "needs." We're not interested in anyone else's definition of a "need;" every person has to define for themselves what their own needs truly are (and their decisions should be respected). So, . . .
"How to you, personally, know what you feel is a "need" for Domestics Discipline?"
Thanks everyone, and have a great New Year!
-- Donn
Hi Donn and Dan,
ReplyDeleteI would just like to support Donn's topic and propose it as a stand-alone theme at some point. It is sort of an "ultimate" sort of question but one every male interested in - or in- a DD/FLR should confront.
Alan