Saturday, November 5, 2022

The Club - Meeting 416 - Tools & Instruments

“We shape our tools and afterwards our tools shape us.” - Marshall McLuhan

 

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couple’s Club.  Our weekly gathering of men and women who are, or would like to be, in a Domestic Discipline relationship.

 

I hope you all had a great week.  I’m sad to see Halloween come and go. Seems like we got many more older kids than young ones this year.

 

 

We also moved right from Halloween into winter, which I guess I’ll have to live with though it caught us a little unprepared.

 


 We had a pretty good discussion last week about “anything it takes,” though “anything it takes” became an extension of the previous week’s discussion around “anywhere, anytime, for any reason,” and that, perhaps inevitably, things drifted into witnesses and openness to others. That one topic sure carries a lot of emotional force with this group, doesn’t it?  I’m not griping about that; it is what it is. 

 

It does make me think that for many of us, our attraction to DD and spanking is wrapped up in some level of attraction to humbling, embarrassment, humiliation, etc. and that the prospect of witnesses amplifies that basic morbid desire.  It’s something I need to think about more, because “in real life” I really, really dislike embarrassment, whether experiencing it or viewing someone else going through it. 

 

At the end of the week, the conversation took a turn toward the topic of tools and instruments, especially paddles.  I don’t devote a full topic to tools and instruments very often, but it’s been a few years and we have some new participants, so why not?

 

Another reason for devoting a topic to this again is it’s one of the very rare areas in which I can say things have changed substantially over time for us, especially in the last year or two.  Looking back at some older posts on this topic, I found this list from a post in 2017 that included my thoughts on each instrument:

 

  • Hairbrush: Iconic, but basically worthless.
  • Bath brush: Totally different animal from a hairbrush.  Hurts like a mother&%$#@! 
  • Wooden paddles:  Something for everyone.  Iconic and, unlike a hairbrush, can hurt like hell.
  • Belts: Can be effective, but she has to swing really, really hard.
  • Leather straps: Generally much more painful than a belt, ranging from mild to OMG!
  • Loopy Johnny:  Stings pretty damn badly.  Leaves welts like a cane
  • Rubber straps: If these don't get your attention, nothing will
  • Cane: Has never worked well for us, but I'm not sure why.

 

From what I can recall, at the time of that post, we were using all those instruments with the likely exception of the cane.

 

Five years later, both the number of instruments we are using with any regularity and my thoughts on several of the instruments has changed.  Today’s list, in order of preference and with some updated thoughts, would look something like this:   

  • Bath brush: Anne’s hands-down favorite. The only instrument she has bought for herself. Probably the most versatile tool in our collection and can be left in plain view. Hurts like a mother&%$#@! The only “downside” is it’s not a particularly iconic spanking instrument, though that is one reason it can be left on open display without vanilla visitors associating it with spanking.  
  • Hairbrush: I was wrong in thinking of it as “basically worthless,” though a high-quality, heavy brush is a must.  Used properly and with sufficient force, it can send a message.  It’s probably the most iconic tool in our collection, and the only one that rates high on both iconic status and ability to leave it on display without drawing undue attention from vanillas.
  • Wooden paddles:  These used to be a staple of every spanking session. Now, after spending lots and lots of money on high-quality paddles made with exotic woods, we don’t use them very often and, when we do, it’s a single paddle that we got from Aunt Kay’s husband.     
  • Leather straps: These too used to be a staple.  We still use one, but it’s not what I had in mind when I included this in the 2017 list.  The one we use today is much shorter and thicker.  Leather straps are very iconic, and I personally have a strong emotional reaction to them, even though we don’t use them that much anymore.  One of the biggest downsides is it’s pretty clear what they are for, so they can’t be openly displayed unless you’re comfortable with others knowing. 
  • Belts: We very seldom use them, though I sometimes will add one to my suitcase when traveling because they travel well and won’t draw much attention.  They are iconic but, in my experience, only minimally effective, with the exception of “gun belts”, which are much thicker and stiffer than ordinary belts
  • Loopy Johnny:  Anne used to really like this instrument.  It stings badly and leaves welts like a cane.  Unfortunately, it also tends to snap back and bite the person wielding it.
  • Rubber straps: I’ve thrown out all of them we had in our collection. They did too much damage, almost always leading to a shorter-than-deserved spanking. The pain was so severe, I could never accept and, instead, would “man up” and just try to get through it.  Some of them, made from materials similar to those used in tires, smell terrible. No. Just. No. 
  • Cane: Has never worked well for us. I'm not sure why. I regret that a bit, because it is a very iconic instrument that also is very easily concealed.

 

As noted, one of the biggest changes for us has been going from many to fewer tools.  In the past, I kept most of our ever-growing collection in a lockable suitcase.  For each session, I would bring out the suitcase, unlock it, leave it open for Anne, then she would poke around in it mid-session, choosing six or more tools per session. That approach created two problems.  Maybe three.   

 

First, it was often the case that just as she was getting my attention with a particular tool, she would switch.  The frequent stops and switch-ups really got in the way of anything like a real mental/emotional surrender. 

 

Second, I think one reason we had challenges with consistency was the sheer number of implements was one factor in every session feeling like a big, unwieldy production.   When we simplified the number of tools and got rid of a lot of the “ritual,” for lack of a better word, it seemed to make each session less of an “event,” and consistency started going up.

 

Third, I don’t consider myself to be part of the “minimalist” or “essentialism” movements, but I do put some value on limiting the amount of “stuff” you own, focusing instead on having deeper relationships with a smaller number of things.  I know it may sound a little “woo woo” to talk about having relationships with things, and I do have a tendency to anthropomorphize some objects. But, I still maintain that you can have deep feelings about certain objects, and it’s more likely to happen if you have only a few things in that category of belongings.  J. and KOJ talked about things like signing a paddle and passing it on.  Aland and ZM also had comments that suggested how an object like a paddle can acquire emotional significance. 

 


Alan had this to say about a paddle his girlfriend brought into the relationship:

 

“My former GF had a rather formidable sorority paddle she had kept long past college days. If I ever knew her history with it before meeting me, I have forgotten it. But I know she brought it out pretty early in our relationship and for issues that she considered very serious- or on one occasion when she was enraged by my behavior. I wish now I had asked her more about it and how it had been used before meeting me. I remember one thing very well and that is she was very comfortable and competent using it and it was a long hardwood relatively thick paddle. I really wish I had asked her more about it but I probably was more focused on discouraging her from using it.”

 

ZM recalled this story from his first marriage:

 

“All of this talk of spanking implements used on others reminded me of something I forgot. My ex-wife (who unfortunately was very, very opposed to spanking so refused to participate in any way), got some boxes from one of her fellow teachers who was retiring early due to some windfall of some sort. Anyway, she brought them home, and one of the things in one of the boxes was a school paddle. There was just something about looking at it and knowing that it had been used - probably quite a few times - for actual school punishments. I was so sad when my ex-wife threw it away.”

 

Some instruments become “totems” or symbols of sorts. Or, they may evoke strong memories.  I think that’s more likely, however, with a small set of instruments that get regular use.  We seem to have gotten down to two instruments that are used almost every session, and a couple of others that make regular appearances. I’ll give a little background on each.

 

Somewhat surprisingly, given my negative comments back in 2017, the ebony hairbrush I bought a year or so ago has seen quite a bit of action.  It looks almost identical to the one in this photo. 

 


As I’ve said, hairbrushes of this style are among the most iconic spanking implements out there, even if they probably haven’t been among the highest-volume tools for a couple of generations. In fact, they can be pretty hard to find.  I bought ours used on eBay and, honestly, that’s a big part of the emotional reaction I get looking at it.  Part of me always wonders whether it has been used on other naughty bottoms.  The fact that the answer very well could be yes, but I don’t know for sure, gives it a certain mystique.  While not as effective as some other instruments, I’ve come around that, when used with sufficient force and vigor, it can bring a powerful sting.

 


The other instrument that is used in almost every session is Anne’s bath brush.  It was the first and only tool she personally bought and, for that reason, I think she has a very personal attachment to it.  We have two or three other bath brushes that I bought over the years, but they’ve gone unused since she bought her own.

 

My 2017 instrument list included leather straps, but at the time I was thinking about the traditional long, relatively narrow, “razor strop” style.  We have several of those, but they don’t get much use anymore.  Instead, this has become one of Anne’s “go-to” favorites:

 

While I don’t know anything about the history of our ebony hair brush, I know this paddle-like leather strap has seen service and has a history that is personally meaningful to me.  It was given to me by Aunt Kay’s husband, who used to participate here under the name Tomy.  It has the DWC logo on it, though I think these must have come from a larger commercial vendor, as I’ve seen them in several F/m spanking photos out there on the internet.  It’s proof that looks can be deceiving. While it’s compact and made of leather, it backs a surprisingly big and thuddy wallop. Its end also has this nasty habit of working its way in between the cheeks to soft tissues that have rarely felt the sting of other instruments.  It’s pretty damn excruciating.

 

For a while, we got away from wooden fraternity-style paddles, but one of them is working its way back into our sessions.  Another gift from Tomy, there’s nothing all that special looking about it. It’s not made from any exotic wood and has no holes. It’s basically just a fairly large, dark piece of wood with handles screwed onto it.  Yet, it has just the right mix of “sting” and “thud.” Anne has started to use it to augment spankings with her two brushes, when she has a message she wants to make sure is heard loudly and clearly.  And, as with the leather strap-paddle, it has additional meaning to me because of its association with Aunt Kay and Tomy and the fact I know it has been used on other male bottoms.

 

Alan also brought up the issue of what happens to all the tools that are out there:

 

“Considering the number of vendors actively selling the “tools of the trade” plus the number of motivated husbands handy enough to craft a paddle or strap, there must be literally thousands of spanking paraphernalia around, not being used currently, but once well used. Not all of these of course have been used in a serious DD relationship and fewer still in a DD F/M relationship.

 

And sadly, I am guessing many have been lost or destroyed. But there must be more than a few DD-weathered paddles or straps that have worked their way back into circulation. The paddle my wife used on me, that her ex-husband used on her technically qualifies. But I am thinking of spanking tools once used by a DD couple, but now owned by a different couple. Anyone know any stories?”

 

As described above, as we’ve simplified the number of instruments Anne uses, three of the four we ended up landing on for regular use have either definitely been “in circulation” with other DD couples or have very possibly been used for disciplinary purposes.  Those are a minor part of my collection, however, and at some point, I do need to find new homes for the rest.  

 


Years ago, I kept almost all our tools in a lockable foot locker, and the friend I’d told about our DD had kindly offered to spirit the footlocker out of the house and into the landfill if anything should happen to us. Now, however, in addition to our locked suitcase, I have instruments on various shelves around our closet, buried under piles of clothes, in drawers, and in other places.  Unless I get rid of all the extras or again consolidate everything in one secure location, anyone cleaning out our stuff in the future is going to have a few surprises on their hands.

 

What thoughts do you have regarding instruments?  Do you have a large collection, or just a few “go to” instruments?  Where did your go-to instruments come from? Who chose them?  Are there particular instruments that you find particularly erotic, that you or your wife react to emotionally, or that have interesting histories?  Is there an instrument that is most effective

at changing behavior? If so, is that because it is the most painful, or are there other reasons?

 

I hope you all have a great week.  Go vote!





68 comments:

  1. I have never actually used a spanking tool as far as I remember, but I have hand spanked several partners during my ill spent youth. And both of my DD partners have used hand spanking on me at various times. So, a few words re the hand by itself as a spanking tool.

    I know that hand spanking can be very effective, when used in the right emotional context, right time and right place. Its effectiveness doesn’t rely on the “ouch factor” associated with straps, canes, wood paddles, etc. It is, at least in F/m spanking completely psychological.

    I know that hand spanking, male to female, can carry a painful punishing impact, as many women have noted. Whether that is because of the greater arm strength of the male, or the more tender skin of the female, there seems no doubt that M/F hand spanking can constitute a painful punishment.

    Some women do claim that they can deliver a hand spanking as effective as any male – and I won’t challenge that beyond saying that I personally have never experienced a hand spanking that felt like more than a firm massage.

    However, to the main point: F/M hand spankings used to underscore the disciplinary nature of a punishment have had a very strong psychological impact on me as long as I can remember, fully as important to the discipline, as say a strap or even a bath brush. I am not saying hand spanking work in F/m spanking instead of the traditional spanking tools, but in conjunction with.

    Probably every guy, for which hand spanking works, has a different response to it. For me a discreet smack to the seat of my pants at a party or even at home can produce instant attention. In a different context a series of hand smacks resonate deeply when delivered to a bare bottom while punctuating a scolding or when standing in the corner. There are many other examples where her hand alone is definitely disciplinary.

    I suspect my experience isn’t unique and most F/M couples have discovered and use hand spanking from time to time. Maybe it has acquired a reputation among DD couples that a hand spanking isn’t a real spanking. But if a woman uses it the way I have experienced it, it is a very real part of DD
    Alan

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    1. Good points, Alan. I'm very sure I received hand spankings as a kid, though I don't remember any. However, I haven't been on the giving or receiving end of an adult hand spanking. I'm not surprised that the hand spankings you received from women felt now worse than a firm massage, though I admit that is my own bias speaking. But, just knowing my wife, I doubt she'd be able to deliver one that was very painful or that lasted very long and probably would hurt her hand long before she hurt my butt.

      But, I could see it drawing out an emotional reaction if I was already feeling a lot of remorse.

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    2. "I know that hand spanking can be very effective, when used in the right emotional context, right time and right place. Its effectiveness doesn’t rely on the 'ouch factor' associated with straps, canes, wood paddles, etc. It is, at least in F/m spanking completely psychological." - I agree. Psychologically, there is something different about her spanking you with her hand and with an implement. A tool might hurt a lot worse, but somehow the fact that she is physically hitting you with part of her body, rather than some inanimate object, does allow more emotion to come through.

      -ZM

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  2. Dan wrote: “But, I could see it drawing out an emotional reaction if I was already feeling a lot of remorse.

    For sure it would work when the emotions are already high. But more I am describing a process that can go from 0 to 60 in a millisecond. Here is a fictive example of what I am describing (maybe not all that fictive)

    HER-- Get over here and stand in front of me
    Me-- Yes Ma’am (scurrying to stand where she is indicating)
    HER – Didn’t I tell you I wanted that desk cleaned out by today (Smack), (smack) (smack) over trousers or jeans
    Me Yes Ma’am, I’m sorry I forgot
    HER-- What happens when you forget a command I give you ?
    Me- You punish me
    HER - I spank you, hard and long and that is what is going to happen now (smack) (smack) (smack) Now get my strap and get your bum back here pronto (smack) (smack) (smack)

    And it can go on and on like that for long minutes before she even takes my pants down or tells me to do so.And when she does get my pants down, she might continue the spanks to bare bum until she is ready to move on to the main event. And for a given spanking it might continue through a pre -spank scolding or post spanking time in the corner.

    This doesn’t happen every spanking, in fact maybe one in ten and she has to be at least somewhat angry. Her use of this is not predictable and pretty spontaneous.
    But the psychological effect on me in terms of making me obedient are equivalent to her slowly lowering my pants while daring me to stop her or her slapping my face (very rare) to underscore a point. And she know the effect it has because I told her long ago

    Maybe my reaction to this is more unusual than I think ( we all tend to think everyone reacts to things the way we do) but it just puts me on auto pilot in terms of obeying her and following her orders.
    Alan

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    1. I agree with a lot of what you said. I don't find hand spankings particularly painful, but they always put me in the right mood. When we have the opportunity to do a proper punishment session, my wife almost always starts us off with one to set the right tone and "shake the dust out of my ears, so I'm ready to listen". She will pull my pants and underpants down, put me over her lap and then have at it for some minutes, before she will ask me if I'm ready to listen to her and commence with the scolding and the real punishments. This is usually enough to make sure she has my undivided attention for what's to come next and that I understand who is in charge on an emotional level. If not, there might be another round, or she will switch to a wooden spoon or one of her slippers.

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    2. "This doesn’t happen every spanking, in fact maybe one in ten and she has to be at least somewhat angry. Her use of this is not predictable and pretty spontaneous."

      I can see how this could help convey some real anger.

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    3. I echo the psychological power of a hand spanking or even a single smack. There is not much that is more powerful than walking through a mall, letting my eyes wander at another woman, and getting a crisp smack on the ass -- knowing full well there are a dozen people walking close behind us. Did it hurt? Not at all. Was it effective? Absolutely.
      My wife liked to handspank while scolding. She would start with the hairbrush or bath brush and set me on fire, then put the implement down and use her hand while scolding and asking me scolding questions ("Are you going to stare at another woman right in front of me?"). She realized I could listen and answer better while she was using her hand, rather than me focusing on the pain of an implement.
      When she was done scolding she would pick up the implement again and give me an even harder dose than the first time. Extremely effective.
      KOJ

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    4. I can see how hand spanking could be psychologically powerful for the spanker.

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    5. KOJ wrote: "... knowing full well there are a dozen people walking close behind us. Did it hurt? Not at all. Was it effective? Absolutely." - This reminded me of a scene from the sitcom Malcolm in the Middle. Malcolm and Lois are having a bit of a power struggle in front of a lot of people, and at one point Malcolm pushes her too far. She then pulls him over her knee, takes a huge swing, but stops at the last moment and barely touches him. She didn't want to inflict any pain, she just wanted to make the point that she could, and that was all that was needed at this point. My wife sometimes uses the same technique. When she thinks a quick reminder is needed, but circumstances don't allow for any actual spanking, she might just make me drop my pants for a few seconds, or even just bend over. A few weeks ago we were out shopping and I pissed her off, so she sent me to the restrooms to take off my belt and bring it to her. She doubled it up for a second and then just gave it back. I still got the point, no pain required.

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    6. Markus wrote: “A few weeks ago we were out shopping and I pissed her off, so she sent me to the restrooms to take off my belt and bring it to her.”

      That reminds me of something I had almost forgotten: my former G.F. early on when just experimenting with her authority would send me into restaurant restrooms to remove my underpants and then “present them” to her at the table. I don’t know if anyone there actually saw what I was doing but I remember doing it and presenting them was VERY humbling.

      Then I had to sit through dinner commando style and knowing a spanking was coming at the end of the evening. It was pretty effective both in making her point about whatever behavior had pissed her off—and in dialing up the expectation anxiety about the spanking to come.

      Little things like that and your example of your wife requiring you to take off your belt and bring it to her are great examples of imaginative use of DD authority without needing to administer a spanking or when she wants to delay a spanking. Once a woman is a credible disciplinarian (has demonstrated her willingness and capacity to deliver an effective spanking), she can use techniques like these to leverage her power without actually needing to administer a spanking
      Alan

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    7. "There is not much that is more powerful than walking through a mall, letting my eyes wander at another woman, and getting a crisp smack on the ass -- knowing full well there are a dozen people walking close behind us. Did it hurt? Not at all. Was it effective? Absolutely." - I like this example of a visible reprimand. Not enough to get anyone too bent out of shape from seeing it, but certainly enough to get your full undivided attention. I could see something like this happening if my wife ever had the idea, since my eyes do tend to be a bit too effective at picking out attractive women.

      -ZM

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    8. "Then I had to sit through dinner commando style and knowing a spanking was coming at the end of the evening." I can see how that would keep you VERY focused on what was going to happen later.

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  3. I started as a BDSM bottom for a short time with a woman who discovered BDSM with me. We had a leather paddle and a crop. She used both well. After we parted ways and I went through a spank-free 15 yr marriage, I returned to organized BDSM as a top. Many of my female bottoms bought me implements to spank them. I also bought custom-made floggers and other implements. When I met my current wife, I was a bottom again. She had no experience with spanking and I taught her how to spank me.

    About five years ago, she began punishing me with spanking and our DD life began. Like you, Dan, her use of implements has narrowed substantially. She has several very nasty wooden paddles she prefers. More recently I got her a heavy leather paddle and a couple of wide laminated straps. I bought those to see if there would be less blood with more forgiving leather. There is almost none. The leather also doesn't hurt as much as wood or rubber (we have a few items made from heavy conveyor belt material. They are horrible!

    My wife uses two or three implements each session. Almost all of our large collection goes unused. I wouldn't mind finding them a good home.

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    1. I had a small cane-iac ferule made with that conveyor belt material. I ended up throwing it away after one day, because of the smell. It made the whole closet I put it in smell like a tire shop.

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  4. My wife uses a lot of different implements on me, but she definitely has favorites. While my wife and I were somewhat into BDSM before we decided to have a DD relationship, we both weren't really interested in impact play and didn't own any implements aside from a cheap novelty riding crop. So, when we started with DD we mostly used common household items, we had laying around. A wooden spoon from the kitchen - the equivalent to the infamous hairbrush over here -  one of my belts and yes, also a bath brush. I can confirm, that one hurts as much as any paddle. Later, my wife also got us the carpet beater her parents had used. Once we decided to fully commit, my "gear acquisition syndrome" kicked in, and we   bought a lot of additional implements. Among other things we got some canes, several paddles and a leather strap.

    The absolute worst implement in her arsenal, and the one I'm positively terrified of, is a fiber-glass cane. It's as flexible as a peeled cane, but much more dense. It's the kind of implement where you have to be really careful because if you hit too hard or the wrong spot you could seriously hurt someone. She only ever used it once on my bare bottom, and it was by far the worst spanking I ever got. I generally don't bruise easily, but those marks I felt for several days. And this wasn't even at a quarter of my wife's strength, as she later told me.  That immediately became somewhat of a nuclear option, reserved as the ultimate deterrent and for the most serious of offenses. 
    However, we did find another use for it later. Because you can easily make it hurt a lot, even when applied over a pair of thick trousers, and without making much noise, it became one of my wife's go-to punishments, for a quick correction when we don't have the house to ourselves. Also, it doesn't immediately scream spanking implement when you see it, unless you know what it is. So, it's safe to have it readily available on top of our kitchen cabinets.

    Second place goes to the cane. Not only because it's very painful, but also because it has the most emotional impact on me. It's what my father used, when I got really into trouble as a boy. As I mentioned on last week's topic, our DD relationship heavily leans into a parent/little boy dynamic, and I just need to see the cane laying on my bed to feel like a scared 12-year-old again. When everything goes right, those can be the most impactful of our punishment sessions, but every once in a while a phrase she uses or something she does else may stir up some long forgotten memory and emotions and derail the whole thing. That's one of the reasons my wife doesn't use it often and prefers other implements.

    Bath brush, strap and paddle all play in the same league. My wife knows how to really make them hurt and there aren't connected to any emotionally charged childhood memories, so It's what she uses the most if a hard punishment is necessary.

    My wife's favorite implement is the carpet beater. It's what was used in her family, and I suspect she thinks it hurts more than it actually does. Don't get me wrong, it's still unpleasant, but not nearly as bad as the other implements I mentioned. It requires significant effort on her part to make it hurt. The same goes for the belt, it rarely hurt all that much. However, something about the sound of a belting still does something for me, so we keep it as an option. My wife often uses it when I had a serious spanking the day before and my butt couldn't handle another one so soon after.

    Markus

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    1. "Once we decided to fully commit, my "gear acquisition syndrome" kicked in." I definitely get this. I have spent sooooo much money on spanking gear, before narrowing down to three or four implements. Of course, I do the exact same thing with motorcycles and other hobbies.

      Do you happen to have a link to the fiberglass cane? I'd just like to see what it's like. I doubt I'd ever buy one, because we have tried and tried with canes and they just don't seem to work for us.

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    2. "Of course, I do the exact same thing with motorcycles and other hobbies."

      Same here. This has gotten me into trouble more then once.

      "Do you happen to have a link to the fiberglass cane?"

      We bought it at their physical store, but I think it was this one:

      https://peitschenhandel.de/fetisch-sm/spanking/rohrstock/sonstige-stoecke/903/hartes-kunststoff-cane-rot-80cm

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  5. My wife has a few items in her arsenal also. We do not have the extensive collection most have. My Mother had used three religiously on us.
    The first was an Amish paddle “heat for the seat on it.” This was bought at a country store when we were kids. The second was a thick strap that could have been my grandfathers. They both got our attention quick and of course the dreaded wooden spoon. My wife loves to use a flat thick spoon. One has already been broken over my bare bottom. We have a London tanners strap and a small paddle bought at a store in Vermont. I remember the lady smiling when my wife purchased it. It can be easily concealed anywhere and stings like holy hell. We had some family in town and I said something that I thought was funny. My wife threw daggers at me. I changed the subject but a family members wife noticed and made a comment to me later on. She said it looked like your wife wanted to kill you. I laughed it off. I came home from a function with a family member last night. While he was in the other room, my wife said she felt disrespected by my comment and when he left tomorrow, we were going to have a long long talk about my disrespect. I know what that means. I told her it was only a joke but she didn’t care. Her response was, you aren’t going to sit comfortably at work this week. I’m dreading today.
    T

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    1. A spoon is an implement we've never used.

      I love it that there are places like a store in Vermont that just randomly sells spanking tools.

      London Tanners is a great source for leather tools.

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  6. We have 2 main spanking tools which get used often. One is a ping pong paddle, and the other is a small, lite, bamboo spanking paddle. She usually starts out with a few minutes of brisk hand spanking, along with some lecturing. If it is a disciplinary spanking, there will be no warm up. After using the ping pong paddle for a while, she will switch to the bamboo one, which delivers a bit more sting. Some have commented that a ping pong paddle isn't much of a real spanking implement, but it works very well for us. We recently got a small rattan cane, but we haven't tried it out yet. I agree with those that said hand spanking can be a very effective psychological reminder of who is in charge. A good hand spanking provides a nice, loving, maternal feeling, which sets the stage before the main event. They can also be used in a playful manner, as well as a warning.

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    1. We haven't used a ping pong paddle but I suspect it would be quickly broken

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    2. Norton wrote: “I agree with those that said hand spanking can be a very effective psychological reminder of who is in charge. A good hand spanking provides a nice, loving, maternal feeling, which sets the stage before the main event”

      This was the main point made with my earlier comment on the impact a simple swat to the seat of my pants from her can have. Apparently at least some others respond to hand spankings, even though they are often dismissed as being real discipline. Like hand spanking, the ping pong paddle Dan mentions is another example of a spanking tool not taken seriously by many because of its lack of heft and possible fragility. The common hairbrush has been similarly dismissed by some.

      The question this raises for me is what level or severity of spanking tool is necessary for real discipline or serious spanking? Is it a heavy wooden or plastic paddle, or a thick strap or perhaps a supple cane? Maybe!

      But to me this sounds like defining discipline as primarily a physical process with physical consequences Sometimes it does seem that way. I can testify from many experiences that when my wife takes the bath brush to me, I certainly feel I am being disciplined absent any other embarrassment.

      But the physical is not always all there is to it. The psychological is at least equally important if one is talking about punishment that produces results and discipline that really moderates behavior. And that is where things like scolding, hand spanking and embarrassing rituals weigh in

      If my wife simply administered a hand spanking with no embarrassing embellishments or scolding, then she could probably spank away until her hand went numb without much impact on me or me even remembering it the next day. But if instead, she makes me take down my pants in the living room (or does it herself) and makes me stand in front of her while she punctuates a scathing lecture with a few well-timed smacks to my bottom, I will remember that for months. And I will feel I have been disciplined for whatever behavior triggered her action.

      That is the psychological effect I am trying to describe. Its not incompatible with a heavy hairbrush or paddle or strap. But it also doesn’t always require them to be effective.

      Just to be clear: I am not saying a woman never needs to bring out the heavy artillery. She absolutely does. But knowing that she can and will do that if necessary is what (for me) allows the more psychologically aimed DD to work too. Its also what makes it possible for her to not always need to bring it out.
      Alan

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    3. I suspect there are a huge range of individual pain tolerances as well. As I recall, there are references on the DWC website by Aunt Kay to the fact that she sometimes liked spanking other men because her husband was (sorry Tomy) not very pain tolerant and she sometimes liked spanking men who could tolerate a harder spanking.

      Myself, I'm basically a lead bottom. It takes a pretty intense spanking to get my attention. Though, that seems to be changing a bit, and I'm not sure whether it's from age or from the accumulated impact of 15 years of spankings. I still would probably laugh off something like a ping pong paddle, but the hair brush can now be surprisingly painful.

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    4. Individual pain tolerances would seem hard to compare objectively. However I understand that pro's do that pretty well and probably must learn to do it pretty fast. For me it seems to vary a lot from time to time, probably depending on various factors.

      I know my wife can sense my tolerance and its fluctuation, probably better than I do. I also know that I was a wimp when my former G.F. begun serious spanking and have toughened up significantly from that time.

      But I don't really know how my tolerance differs from anyone else's tolerance - greater, less or about the same. I did learn even before beginning my relationship with my wife that getting to the "numbing " part of a punishment was the highest hill to climb.

      Most of the videos I have seen are "show and tell" variety and not honest depictions of real DD. The series of videos produced by "wdspoone" a while ago are probably the most genuine and I think he figured out pretty early not to fight it too much and wait for that numbing to set in.

      On the other hand he may just be an example of someone with very high pain tolerance. It would be interesting to know
      Alan

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    5. Yes, the psychological atmosphere is definitely a major factor, not just the pain. As Ann has gotten more empowered, so has let more emotion show when she scolds me. I’m so embarrassed and remorseful when she pulls down my underwear that the pain is important, but not the main thing. The embarrassment and shame of the reason for the spanking have almost been enough to get me crying. Add the pain and I’m there !!

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    6. Alan, you are definitely right about the psychological element. I am convinced that the psychological element is actually the most important part, by far. That is not so say that hard spanking is not necessary, but the fact that she has spanked you hard before numerous times and can do so again at will is a huge reinforcer.

      For me, at least, spanking is highly effective at changing behaviors when the whole thing rolls around in my head for days. This really only happens when there has been a psychological impact to go along with the physical impact.

      -ZM

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    7. I agree with you guys that the psychological element is important, yet for me the severity part is also a big element. Something like a ping pong paddle would be very unlikely to leave me anything but bored, which is not exactly the right psychological element. For me, severity up to some level is a necessary if insufficient element, as is the psychological element. It's really both in combination that work. As between the two, I do think severity is probably more important because, as I said, I think an effective instrument would just leave me bored or unrepentant.

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    8. Hi Dan,
      "For me, severity up to some level is a necessary if insufficient element, as is the psychological element. It's really both in combination that work." - I agree fully. I don't want to answer for Alan, but the way I took what he wrote seems similar to what you wrote as well. It is not either/or, but rather both. When both physical severity and the psychological element is there, it becomes pretty powerful.

      That is also what I was trying to say, but I think I muddied the waters by putting more importance on the psychological element. The reason I said that is not because severe spanking - or the threat of one backed up by a history of hard spankings in the past - is not necessary, but rather I am kind of taking severe spankings as a given for people who have been at this a while.

      It is easy to focus on the hard spanking part because it is easier to understand and more tangible. Kind of a "If you want more punishment, spank harder or longer..." But there is a real limit in how hard one can spank without causing serious damage, and there is also a limit to how much pain one can feel and for how long it is felt before endorphins take over.

      Once the wife knows how to give a good, hard spanking that is almost unbearable at the time and that leaves effects that can be felt for several days, there is little point in trying to improve further on that, because it reaches a point of diminishing returns. It is better instead to always keep at least some focus on the psychological elements, because the time will come that you simply can't go further on the physical side, so it is better to have mastered the psychological side.

      And once the husband has experienced at least some of his wife's very hard spankings, he will pretty quickly fall in line when she speaks or threatens, so she may not even need to pick up a paddle sometimes.

      -ZM

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    9. "Once the wife knows how to give a good, hard spanking that is almost unbearable at the time and that leaves effects that can be felt for several days, there is little point in trying to improve further on that, because it reaches a point of diminishing returns."

      Definitely agree. There's a point that is almost always reached where it's just not accomplishing anything.

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    10. ZM wrote: “And once the husband has experienced at least some of his wife's very hard spankings, he will pretty quickly fall in line when she speaks or threatens, so she may not even need to pick up a paddle sometimes.”

      Fully agree. Combining the physical with the psychological can be a kind of symbiotic process much greater than the sum of its parts. But if a wife chooses, she can probably reduce the frequency of severe physical punishment with deft use of the psychological as both partners become conditioned to being in a DD relationship.

      I doubt that this level of compliance is possible until both partners in a DD relationship are very serious about establishing and maintaining discipline. And not until a wife has repeatedly demonstrated her comfort and capability to do whatever it takes with paddle or strap. But for me at least, once that point was reached, she has been better and better at using psychological tactics to discipline me (some of which I discussed earlier).

      If you wife tells/asks you to do something or she will severely punish you -and she has done just that dozens of times- you tend to do what you are told, particularly if she has delivered a sharp reprimand or even a few good smacks to the seat of your pants as part of the threat -- because what she has done is just give you the psychological equivalence of a sound spanking
      I am not saying that always works and sometimes a long hard spanking is needed to hit the reset button. And the possibility of that needs to very real. But the more real it is, the less she has to actually do it
      Alan

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  7. We have an arsenal of toys mainly due to her family's past business of making and vending BDSM toys and equipment. Along with the household pervertibles nearly everyone has, like hairbrushes, wood spoons, spatulas and flyswatters. Occasionally she has taken the belt off my jeans when away from home and no other implements were available. She does not really have a 'go to' device although some implements seem to be used more than others. She usually chooses 3 or 4 implements for a maintenance spanking and tries to vary the texture and pain level. Rubber implements, switch and cane are the most painful and behavior altering implements.

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    1. I really wish I could figure out why canes just don't work for us. Clearly something in the technique isn't right.

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    2. You should consider gifting to your wife Lady Pandora's book "Notes on Caning" (2020). She covers all of the basics, and most of the common mistakes disciplinarians make.

      Fundamentally, the disciplinarian has to achieve sufficient (maximum) speed; the "intensity" should be determined by the canes thickness and density. It is also important for the disciplinarian to learn and practice the three basic impact/landing methods: (1) Lift Off; (2) Press; (3) Slash. (The "press", with high velocity, is the most common method.)

      -- AZ

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    3. I've been told Aunt Kay's caning book is very good, but I've never personally read it.

      -- AZ

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    4. My wife has two canes but uses one only occasionally-and only to finish off a spanking started with another tool such as the strap. I don't know why she doesn't use it more often because she finds it easy to use and knows it gets results. I wonder if it isn't cultural with the cane used commonly in the UK and UK associated regions. But not so much in the US.

      The cane used properly is a very serious punishment which can leave marks for a week or longer , One would think an experienced disciplinarian would come to use a cane as a "go to" as she gains familiarity with it. But that hasn't happened to us and my sense is it doesn't happen for most on this side of the pond

      Alan

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    5. Good point that it may be a cultural thing.

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    6. I agree, culture and socialization probably plays a huge role in how we perceive and react to an implement. I think it has a lot to do with what we include in the "disciplinary tool" category and what is a "torture instrument". I grew up with the cane, so I see it clearly as a reasonable form of punishment. It still works very well on me. When I see one, my first thought still is "Who is in trouble?", instead of seeing it as an adult toy. On the other hand, a French co-worker once told me where he grew up, it was common for parents to use a small whip. To me, this is somewhat incomprehensible, and we don't use any whips at all in our DD relationship. For us, those fall firmly in the torture instrument category, although objectively it's probably not much worse than a cane. Come to think of it, there is a noticeable absence of whips in the spanking implement lists that others have posted, so I guess we are not alone in this.

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    7. You're right that whips and whip-like instruments don't seem very popular.

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  8. We used to have more, but when we moved we downsized. Now we have basically three. A wooden spoon, a heavy wooden paddle that I made, and the darn rubber paddle from caneiac.

    The wooden spoon is from Oxo and is heavy. To avoid my implant I’m positioned over pillows on the bed with my bottom high. The result is that almost all of Ann’s spanks land on my sit spot and crease. With the spoon she sometimes goes for the sides of the cheek! That hurts !!

    The big wooden paddle is painful, but only for a while. I actually hope she’ll choose this early in a spanking. The spanking usually goes on longer, with more bruises, but I get some numbing. Ann doesn’t read this blog, thank goodness.

    Surprisingly, although the rubber paddle is still the nuclear option, and gives incredibly painful spankings, I’ve noticed a couple things. Ann seems to avoid starting with it, because of the damage it does ( broken skin) easily. When she does use it because she’s really ticked, I am now starting to get some numbness from it too. Not as easily as the wooden paddle or as fast, but it happens.

    I do take a belt with us when we travel and have been spanked in a hotel room.

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  9. My experience with the rubber paddle was similar to yours, to the point that I finally threw all our rubber implements into the trash. I didn't ask Anne before doing it, but I think she would have agreed. They caused way too much damage, which she has a problem with, and they also just weren't all that effective because the pain was so much that I'd go into "grit your teeth and bear it" mode, such that the spanking had little psychological impact.

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    1. In your experience, which instruments don't cause damage (or cause minimal damage), but cause the most pain?

      J

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    2. I don't think there's an easy answer, because I've found that every class of instrument varies tremendously by individual instrument. For example, we've had some wooden paddles that are excruciating and others that are kind of meh. I guess if I had to pick a single instrument that is in the "sweet spot" of consistently painful while not either (a) causing significant damage or (b) being so sharply painful that it was really counterproductive, it would have to be the bath brush. While the pain level varies a bit brush to brush, I've never encountered a wooden bath brush that wasn't pretty damn painful. They also can be left on open display or even packed in a suitcase while traveling such that, no matter how implausibly, you could claim it was an innocent object. They can be used in multiple positions including OTK, or more like a paddle standing up. The combination of pain, small injury potential, multiple positions, and open display make it, in my opinion, the best combination of effective and versatile.

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    3. Dan, what you said !

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    4. Really, the big problem is with the position. With all blows landing as they do, the bruising and abraded skin falls right under the leg openings of my briefs. I feel it every time I walk or sit for several days, at least !!

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    5. Abraded skin seems to be very dependent on the individual instrument. We had a bath brush from the Body Shop that did the job well, but my wife didn't like it because the surface was rough and she thought it caused too much damage. She bought a different one that hurts as much but has a smoother finish and, thus, less damage to the skin.

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  10. Inspired by the discussion here, I had a conversation with my wife yesterday, about how she chooses the spanking implements to use.

    For her, it all starts with the nature of the spanking. She said she has three broad categories. The first are quick reminder/last warning type of spankings. Usually, those happen when I unintentionally break a well established rule, e.g. when I use swear words, but not in front of the kids, that would be a more serious offense. We both agree that is something I need to work on, and I don't do it deliberately, but sometimes I still slip, so no need to lecture me or make me understand that this is not acceptable to her. She believes in those situations a quick reaction is much more important than inflicting a lot of pain, so she will use whatever implement is at hand, instead of having me fetch one of the implements we keep locked up in our bedroom.
    The second category are purely punitive spankings, for when I break a major rule, or when I know I shouldn't do something and do it anyway. Those are all about inflicting enough pain to make up for the infraction and deter me from doing it again. For those, she generally uses the more intense implements, like the cane.
    The last category would be spankings that are mostly about teaching me a lesson or making me understand what her expectations are and that my behavior was not acceptable. Those happen when she is unhappy about something I did, but there is no clearly established rule (yet). Those sessions take the longest, and she will usually use several different implements, but limit herself to the ones where I can actually take a longer session, like a belt or her beloved carpet beater. Also, there is usually some arc to it. She might open with a hand spanking, her slipper or a wooden spoon to set the mood. Then there might be one or rounds of scolding and lecturing, corner time to think about what she said, and then me explaining myself, with more intense spankings between the rounds or while she talks. Usually, it ends with a heavy spanking that is meant as punishment for the past infractions. That's when the paddle or the cane might come out.

    Another interesting thing she said that I wasn't aware of, is that she also likes to switch up implements to keep me on my toes. She doesn't want me to know exactly what I have coming. She thinks if the punishments become too much of a routine or ritual, they might stop working the way she intended. A ritual might be great if the spanking is mostly meant to clear the air, but that is not what this is about for us. For us, the point is to teach me something, and that needs my attention instead of me just going through the same motions every time. In her mind, shaking things up a bit by choosing different implements helps with this.

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    1. "She thinks if the punishments become too much of a routine or ritual, they might stop working the way she intended. A ritual might be great if the spanking is mostly meant to clear the air, but that is not what this is about for us. For us, the point is to teach me something, and that needs my attention instead of me just going through the same motions every time. In her mind, shaking things up a bit by choosing different implements helps with this."

      Interestingly, for me it's the opposite. When Anne used to switch the tools up a lot, I found it to be very distracting. I paid *less* attention to what she was trying to accomplish, not more. Also, if she switched between several different instruments in one session, the effectiveness was hugely dependent on the order. If she started with a heavy wooden paddle or the bathbrush, then subsequent use of straps or lighter implements might be a total waste of time, because my butt was already numb.

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    2. Markus, could you please clarify . . .

      "[She] also likes to switch up implements to keep me on my toes. She doesn't want me to know exactly what I have coming. She thinks if the punishments become too much of a routine or ritual, they might stop working the way she intended. . . . "

      I know you described your wife using several different tools, in different parts of a " teaching me a lesson or making me understand what her expectations" spanking.

      By "switching up" implements, do you mean changing implements in the middle/parts other types of spankings, or just using a different tool throughout each single spanking. (E.G., One punishment spanking might be with one tool, a cane, while another punishment spanking might be with another tool, a strap?)

      -- Thanks

      .

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    3. Mostly the implements will vary from session to session, and between the different parts of a session if there is more than one. Every once in a while, she might switch implements mid-spanking, if something doesn't feel right to her. If my reaction isn't what she expected or if she is doing too much damage. Then she might grab something more or less intense, or something to which I have a stronger emotional connection. That happened more often early on, but by now she usually knows what to choose to get the effect she wants.

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    4. Makes sense. My wife is very similar.

      She will usually know what implement to start with, depending upon her mood and intentions. For more serious matters, she will often use one initial implement until it's time to take a break, with me in the corner, then bring me back for more with a second/third more intense implement. She always seems to "up the implement" as we progress, but inserting enough "breaks" to prevent "discontinuities" in our respective moods/states. The only exception is sometimes, after using the cane, then bringing me back from the corner, she with use something lighter like a strap to "work over" the welts she left with the cane; the strap (by itself) it normally less intense, but more more intense on top of her cane-work!

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    5. My wife usually didn't use an implement after the cane because she liked to see the ridged welts left by the cane (as did I). But the few times she did follow the cane with another implement were truly painful and memorable!
      KOJ

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  11. Hi Dan, I was interested to see you refer to 'morbid' desire' at the start of this weeks post - I have come to see the spanking 'thing' as a gift in that it has opened up a range of additional intimacies with my wife, an extension to so called 'normal' sexual interests and a well understood (between us) method of balancing our relationship. It is and always has been 'normal' for me to feel that 'frisson' at the sight or mention of anything to do with the topic and in many ways I feel lucky! After the initial couple of discussions I no longer feel any real embarrassment about the topic or the event, any more than I do around other intimate activities. Of course nobody IRL knows except my wife and one friend but I do not think I am particularly concerned about other people knowing. I feel trepidation and nervousness at the time leading up to a discipline session because I know that the spanking will be difficult for me to endure but almost in the way I feel trepidation before diving into freezing water. I anticipate it and I want it as part of my life. It is painful but the many benefits outweigh the 'in the moment' discomfort.

    I have often wondered about the focus on implements and why there is such a variety. I was only physically punished at school as a child and it was (almost) always the strap. There was no selection box of implements - the strap was seen (and felt!) to be effective, mainly on the hands but also for regular miscreants on the buttocks. We have also moved away from a selection of implements to the strap (a replica of the school version) and a synthetic cane that my wife finds easy to use. I much 'prefer' the strap' - it is extremely painful to start off but after 1 - 2 minutes of 'I'm not sure I can take this' type feeling, the sensation becomes painfully bearable. It leaves me feeling suitably ( in my mind) punished. The cane is painful from start to finish. My wife knows (because I have tried to explain) how I feel about both implements and she feels that by using both she can 'get to' a wider range of reactions within me.

    My current thinking is that as a spankee, I am always looking for that elusive combination of borderline bearable pain which makes me feel appropriately punished and with the after effects that mean that I remain in disciplined mindset for as long as possible. And probably a range of other feelings also. Than combination may be a vanishing point which perhaps means that we are driven to keep trying a range of implements.

    My wife is no longer interested in trying other implements, most of which are now in storage, as she feels that the current combination is more than adequate for her needs .... TB

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    1. "My current thinking is that as a spankee, I am always looking for that elusive combination of borderline bearable pain which makes me feel appropriately punished and with the after effects that mean that I remain in disciplined mindset for as long as possible. And probably a range of other feelings also. Than combination may be a vanishing point which perhaps means that we are driven to keep trying a range of implements." - I think you are probably right. We all accumulate lots of implements because we are trying to somehow find the ultimate spanking tool.

      I think this really goes back to what Alan was saying above about the psychological aspects of spanking. How many of us have wanted a spanking to end, only to then think that it would have been better had it went on longer? How many of us have wanted to be spanked to tears, only to find it difficult or impossible get to that state? There is something that is not happening at the psychological level to really satisfy that need to feel punished, so we try to compensate. "If only I could find something that would be more painful but wouldn't leave too much physical damage..."

      The reason that most schools only had one type of implement - whether it was a cane, strap, tawse, paddle, or something else (largely determined by cultural factors) - is primarily because one type is all that was needed. I am writing about school here, since that is what you were writing about, but it also held true in the home, for pretty much the same reasons. Even though we may have had fear of the particular tool being used on us, the punishment was never really about the tool. It was the whole mortifying experience. The shame of being sent to the office. The fear of what was going to happen. The struggle to try to take it without crying. The embarrassment of returning to class. The teasing by classmates.

      The simple fact is that being spanked by your wife, who you are so intimately connected with and hopefully truly and fully share life with, is not going to be anywhere near as embarrassing as school or other childhood punishments were.

      So interestingly, I think the reason that we accumulate so many spanking tools is EXACTLY the same reason that we keep coming back to witnesses here on the blog; no matter how hard she spanks you in the privacy of your home when it is just the two of you, it somehow is lacking the full psychological impact that you need.

      -ZM

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    2. "After the initial couple of discussions I no longer feel any real embarrassment about the topic or the event, any more than I do around other intimate activities." I would say that's largely true within my marriage. I don't get embarrassed per se before spankings, though there is a humbling aspect for sure.

      If you're willing to share, can I ask in general where you were raised? I'm curious about the fact that the strap was the go-to punishment instrument in school where you were growing up. In the schools I attended growing up, it definitely was the paddle. I can't think of any instance of a strap being used in school, though interestingly while the schools used paddles, parents were far more likely to use a belt. In the UK, I assume the instrument of choice in schools was the cane, though perhaps in Scotland the tawse?

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    3. "How many of us have wanted a spanking to end, only to then think that it would have been better had it went on longer? How many of us have wanted to be spanked to tears, only to find it difficult or impossible get to that state? There is something that is not happening at the psychological level to really satisfy that need to feel punished, so we try to compensate." That definitely resonates with me.

      "So interestingly, I think the reason that we accumulate so many spanking tools is EXACTLY the same reason that we keep coming back to witnesses here on the blog; no matter how hard she spanks you in the privacy of your home when it is just the two of you, it somehow is lacking the full psychological impact that you need." I haven't thought about this before, and I don't have an opinion on whether it's right with respect to implements, but I definitely think you're on to something regarding witnesses!

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    4. The Irish ‘Christian Brothers’, the Jesuits and other religious orders adopted the leather strap and exported to many countries along with their practitioners…. I attended such a school from age 7 to 17 and received the strap at least weekly and often more. It was not unusual for entire classes or large sections of classes to be punished (1,2 or 4 on the hands). Very painful. Almost always in public so limited embarrassment. And clearly didn’t work! OTK or desk was much rarer and always in private. Surprisingly less painful than on hands but high embarrassment level…

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    5. That's an interesting point that if virtually all punishment is public, more private sessions may actually be more embarrassing.

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  12. Like most here , we have multiple implements. I agree whole heartedly that the long handle bath brush is brutal ! She has 3. Devs go to is her 12 inch long quarter inch thick mahogany Spenser paddle. VERY effective. Also a heavy oak hairbrush that works well. She’s tried a belt but doesn’t use it often and we’ve talked about a cane but haven’t pursued it yet. Most are given otk but other positions work for her too . JR

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  13. Like many aspects of our DD, our implements before retirement changed quite a bit after retirement.

    We started DD when we still had children at home, and since they were the curious type (children of a journalist) we decided we just wanted to use "found" implements, those readily available around the house. It turned out to be an extensive list: hairbrush, bath brush, oversized wooden spoons, ping pong paddle, pickleball paddle, cutting board with a handle, pizza paddle, belts, jump rope, extension cords, window blind slats, wooden ruler, metal ruler, yard stick, spatula, dowels, 1 X 4 board, window blinds stick, clothes brush, switches from the back yard, and I am sure a few others I can't remember. We tried them all, and my wife settled on a few she really liked: a thick oak hairbrush that sat on her dressing table, a bath brush that hung on a hook by the shower, and the window blinds stick, which was easily detachable from the picture window in our bedroom and functioned like a cane.

    All of these were in our master bedroom suite and easily accessible. The hairbrush and bath brush were typically over her knee, while the window stick was with me lying over pillows on the bed. The hairbrush was by far the easiest to take, though it stung considerably. The other two were wicked in different ways: the bath brush had a sting and a thud and left bruises; the window blind stick (which we took to calling our cane) imparted a sharp sting that radiated down my legs and left welts on my butt.

    After retirement, when my wife decided to "come out" somewhat about our DD, she had me find her a smaller but still thick paddle-style hairbrush that she could carry in her purse and threaten me with. She also had me buy a customized spanking strap with my initials on it and a novelty spanking paddle that said "for bad boys of all ages" -- implements that clearly were for no other purpose than to apply to my rear. They hung in our shared walk-in closet, where they could ostensibly be seen by others (though rare). I thought these two new implements were for show, but she actually started using them. The paddle felt like the school paddle wallop I received on several occasions, while the thick leather strap imparted a new all-over sensation that I came to appreciate. However, neither of these could be used OTK, which I always felt was the best position to really teach me a lesson because of the maternal aspect. The hairbrush always remained my "favorite." She could set me on fire with it but I could handle the pain. I felt maternal discipline, and I usually felt inspired to do better for her (and, to a lesser degree, for myself).
    KOJ

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    1. "They hung in our shared walk-in closet, where they could ostensibly be seen by others (though rare)." That's kind of where we are in terms of more open displays. Someone might see some implements sticking out from under clothes piles on shelves in the closet or see a bath brush and hairbrush on our bathroom counter. But, it would be rare for someone to be there.

      Regarding OTK, that's another big change for us. For many years, we didn't do OTK because we didn't think it was effective. About a year ago, I wanted to try it again, because of the maternal and humbling aspects. Now, it's become our primary position.

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  14. For as long as my wife has been spanking me, there has been no doubt that her favorite implement is the hairbrush. Ours is paddle style of solid construction, beechwood I believe. It would never be mistaken for one of the flimsy drugstore types. The brush may look a little old fashioned, but can be left in sight of others without raising any eyebrows. In fact, Beth's sisters are visiting this weekend for their annual Xmas shopping trip and I like having the hairbrush left in a bathroom we will be sharing with them. We aren't open about DD, but it gives me a warm feeling having our instrument openly displayed with three women in the house. Normally, the hairbrush sits on our dresser next to our wedding photo.

    Neither one of us has any interest in straps, canes, or large paddles. Spankings are given over my wife's knee and have a maternal feel. Beth knows that my mother was a hairbrush spanker and has always been enamored with that image. The hairbrush smacks feel about the same as I remember, but my wife's spankings last quite a bit longer and I am sore for a longer period too.

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    1. "The brush may look a little old fashioned, but can be left in sight of others without raising any eyebrows."

      I doubt I would have picked this up before getting into DD, but I now would raise an eyebrow at a displayed old-fashioned hair brush, not just because I'm sensitive to them now but because it's also clear no woman today would use one as an actual hairbrush. They are too heavy, and the bristles are too firmly backed together. I think now the only reason the vast majority of women would use one would be as a spanking tool

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  15. Folks, Google's spam filter is driving me flipping fucking crazy this week. It's not that its arbitrarily flagging a bunch of new comments. Not that it's not doing that -- it is. It's just such a regular ting I can't get too emotional about it. No, what it's doing this time is irrational, even by Blogger standards. I go to my spam filter and, instead of finding new comments that need approval, I find a bunch of comments from last week and the week before that have apparently been flagged as spam even though they've already been published! At least a week ago! Don't know whether Google is planning layoffs similar to FB and Twitter, but I know there are some total incompetents in their Blogger engineering department who need to be out the door.

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  16. I've never been in a long term DD relationship and haven't been subject to one in which a lot of different instruments were used, so I have a lot of fascination about the different types, (though I think canes freak me out a bit).

    I wrote the following to post on Spanko Brunch 2.0, but by the time I had thought of something to say, comments were no longer enabled. I cut it to the part were I talk about the one time I got to experience a lot of different implements.

    A few years after my wife pasted, I managed to hook up with a spanko group that had parties at a local dudgeon. As a male bottom I did not get much play time as most of the attendees were in a M/F dynamic. One of the ladies had complained the the woman spent a lot of effort on clothes and pretty panties with no such effort from the men. To remedy this I got a pair of striped Nautica underwear to wear instead of my usual "tighty whities", (though given my huge procrastination problem, I got on the way to the party and had to change into in the bathroom at the party). Well, the turned out to be lucky underwear as, although there were four unpaired male bottoms there, a women came in who I hadn't seen since a pre-party munch when I first meet this group. I remember that I had shyly oggled this women at the munch as she was pretty and looked pretty muscular, (a turn on for me), though she sat too far away for me to talk much too and I remember lamenting, in an Aesoph's "Fox and the Grapes" way that she was probably a spankee not a spanker. Well, as it turned out, that was generally true, but, she had come to this party with the intent to sample the "other side".

    The leader of the group had created a opening competition game, and had the four unpaired guys draw for the privilege of being her partner in the competition and I won! The competition was who could create the red-est butt though a hand spanking delivered durring a set of eight songs. Jessica, (this women), warned me, that her friends told her that she had a "heavy hand". I must have been shell shocked, because I couldn't understand what she meant ever though I know that expression. I got into position over her lap though I over supported my self as I didn't want to come off as a prev. It was common to lower the underwear in the back, but Jessica just bunch mine and bared my checks that way. Before the game started she informed me that in addition to having a heavy hand, that she was ambidextrous! The songs, (80's), began and for the next 30 minutes the hand spanks rained down except for one song where the host past out spoons as party favors.

    To judge who was the winner, the spankees lined up and show off their rumps, and were rated by applause one by one to determine the reddest, which was determined to be mine!

    The rest of the evening I prevailed on Jessica to let me sample all the implements she had brought. She had two different sizes of "pig slappers", which I had always found merely stimulating, but, found rather painful in her hands. The curious thing to me about them was there were decorated with a sketch of a scantily clad women clearly meant to be the recipient of their application, and the fact that I, as a male was get whipped with them instead, added to my sense of being punished. She also had a leather punishment strap with holes that she use on me in a bent over position. This prompted me to suggest that we try one of the spanking benches, this turned out to be a mistake on my part as the guy using the other bench offered her a frat style paddle whose effect put a painful end to the evening.

    I never saw Jessica again, which is unfortunate as she could have cured my procrastination and got me out of the funk I was in over the death of my wife. It did give me some fabulous memories, made more so by her having been almost half my age. One more thing it gave me was an uncomfortable conversation with my Doctor as I ended up peeing purple as the burses were reabsorbed.
    Tom

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  17. The Jokari paddle is without a doubt her favorite even over the bath brush. She was a softball player and she can hit a home run. I think she likes it because it can cover both cheeks with a single swat and it stings like hell especially after my shower.
    Ward

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    1. That's one of the few popular instruments we haven't tried.

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  18. We've a simple arsenal: a bath brush and a couple decorative kitchen items we found at an antique mall. It's interesting to read about so many couples simplifying their lineup of implements because we haven't been there yet. I have more of an interest in the science of implements and punishment than my wife does. Pushing new ones to try on her would probably hinder our DD practice, rather than help it, though I think better communication could change that.

    Regarding the hand spanking discussion above, my theory is that the husbands who are practicing DD, but not as interested in FLR or whose wives aren't trying to practice FLR, don't get as much from their wives spanking with the hand. I'm one of those and for me, her hand is simply too small and weak to change my behavior. Emotionally, her hand just communicates that she isn't serious about disciplining me. Perhaps that's an unfair feeling, but I can't reason my way to the right emotions. Whereas, If I wanted, I could easily make her cry from a hand spanking, both from the physical spanking and from the emotions from the latent traditional masculine-feminine dynamic that persists despite her paddling me.

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