The Club - Meeting 416 - Tools & Instruments

“We shape our tools and afterwards our tools shape us.” - Marshall McLuhan

 

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couple’s Club.  Our weekly gathering of men and women who are, or would like to be, in a Domestic Discipline relationship.

 

I hope you all had a great week.  I’m sad to see Halloween come and go. Seems like we got many more older kids than young ones this year.

 

 

We also moved right from Halloween into winter, which I guess I’ll have to live with though it caught us a little unprepared.

 

 We had a pretty good discussion last week about “anything it takes,” though “anything it takes” became an extension of the previous week’s discussion around “anywhere, anytime, for any reason,” and that, perhaps inevitably, things drifted into witnesses and openness to others. That one topic sure carries a lot of emotional force with this group, doesn’t it?  I’m not griping about that; it is what it is. 

 

It does make me think that for many of us, our attraction to DD and spanking is wrapped up in some level of attraction to humbling, embarrassment, humiliation, etc. and that the prospect of witnesses amplifies that basic morbid desire.  It’s something I need to think about more, because “in real life” I really, really dislike embarrassment, whether experiencing it or viewing someone else going through it. 

 

At the end of the week, the conversation took a turn toward the topic of tools and instruments, especially paddles.  I don’t devote a full topic to tools and instruments very often, but it’s been a few years and we have some new participants, so why not?

 

Another reason for devoting a topic to this again is it’s one of the very rare areas in which I can say things have changed substantially over time for us, especially in the last year or two.  Looking back at some older posts on this topic, I found this list from a post in 2017 that included my thoughts on each instrument:

 

• Hairbrush: Iconic, but basically worthless.
• Bath brush: Totally different animal from a hairbrush.  Hurts like a mother&%$#@! 
• Wooden paddles:  Something for everyone.  Iconic and, unlike a hairbrush, can hurt like hell.
• Belts: Can be effective, but she has to swing really, really hard.
• Leather straps: Generally much more painful than a belt, ranging from mild to OMG!
• Loopy Johnny:  Stings pretty damn badly.  Leaves welts like a cane
• Rubber straps: If these don't get your attention, nothing will
• Cane: Has never worked well for us, but I'm not sure why.

 

From what I can recall, at the time of that post, we were using all those instruments with the likely exception of the cane.

 

Five years later, both the number of instruments we are using with any regularity and my thoughts on several of the instruments has changed.  Today’s list, in order of preference and with some updated thoughts, would look something like this:   

• Bath brush: Anne’s hands-down favorite. The only instrument she has bought for herself. Probably the most versatile tool in our collection and can be left in plain view. Hurts like a mother&%$#@! The only “downside” is it’s not a particularly iconic spanking instrument, though that is one reason it can be left on open display without vanilla visitors associating it with spanking.  

• Hairbrush: I was wrong in thinking of it as “basically worthless,” though a high-quality, heavy brush is a must.  Used properly and with sufficient force, it can send a message.  It’s probably the most iconic tool in our collection, and the only one that rates high on both iconic status and ability to leave it on display without drawing undue attention from vanillas.

• Wooden paddles:  These used to be a staple of every spanking session. Now, after spending lots and lots of money on high-quality paddles made with exotic woods, we don’t use them very often and, when we do, it’s a single paddle that we got from Aunt Kay’s husband.     

• Leather straps: These too used to be a staple.  We still use one, but it’s not what I had in mind when I included this in the 2017 list.  The one we use today is much shorter and thicker.  Leather straps are very iconic, and I personally have a strong emotional reaction to them, even though we don’t use them that much anymore.  One of the biggest downsides is it’s pretty clear what they are for, so they can’t be openly displayed unless you’re comfortable with others knowing. 

• Belts: We very seldom use them, though I sometimes will add one to my suitcase when traveling because they travel well and won’t draw much attention.  They are iconic but, in my experience, only minimally effective, with the exception of “gun belts”, which are much thicker and stiffer than ordinary belts

• Loopy Johnny:  Anne used to really like this instrument.  It stings badly and leaves welts like a cane.  Unfortunately, it also tends to snap back and bite the person wielding it.

• Rubber straps: I’ve thrown out all of them we had in our collection. They did too much damage, almost always leading to a shorter-than-deserved spanking. The pain was so severe, I could never accept and, instead, would “man up” and just try to get through it.  Some of them, made from materials similar to those used in tires, smell terrible. No. Just. No. 

• Cane: Has never worked well for us. I'm not sure why. I regret that a bit, because it is a very iconic instrument that also is very easily concealed.

 

As noted, one of the biggest changes for us has been going from many to fewer tools.  In the past, I kept most of our ever-growing collection in a lockable suitcase.  For each session, I would bring out the suitcase, unlock it, leave it open for Anne, then she would poke around in it mid-session, choosing six or more tools per session. That approach created two problems.  Maybe three.   

 

First, it was often the case that just as she was getting my attention with a particular tool, she would switch.  The frequent stops and switch-ups really got in the way of anything like a real mental/emotional surrender. 

 

Second, I think one reason we had challenges with consistency was the sheer number of implements was one factor in every session feeling like a big, unwieldy production.   When we simplified the number of tools and got rid of a lot of the “ritual,” for lack of a better word, it seemed to make each session less of an “event,” and consistency started going up.

 

Third, I don’t consider myself to be part of the “minimalist” or “essentialism” movements, but I do put some value on limiting the amount of “stuff” you own, focusing instead on having deeper relationships with a smaller number of things.  I know it may sound a little “woo woo” to talk about having relationships with things, and I do have a tendency to anthropomorphize some objects. But, I still maintain that you can have deep feelings about certain objects, and it’s more likely to happen if you have only a few things in that category of belongings.  J. and KOJ talked about things like signing a paddle and passing it on.  Aland and ZM also had comments that suggested how an object like a paddle can acquire emotional significance. 

 

Alan had this to say about a paddle his girlfriend brought into the relationship:

 

“My former GF had a rather formidable sorority paddle she had kept long past college days. If I ever knew her history with it before meeting me, I have forgotten it. But I know she brought it out pretty early in our relationship and for issues that she considered very serious- or on one occasion when she was enraged by my behavior. I wish now I had asked her more about it and how it had been used before meeting me. I remember one thing very well and that is she was very comfortable and competent using it and it was a long hardwood relatively thick paddle. I really wish I had asked her more about it but I probably was more focused on discouraging her from using it.”

 

ZM recalled this story from his first marriage:

 

“All of this talk of spanking implements used on others reminded me of something I forgot. My ex-wife (who unfortunately was very, very opposed to spanking so refused to participate in any way), got some boxes from one of her fellow teachers who was retiring early due to some windfall of some sort. Anyway, she brought them home, and one of the things in one of the boxes was a school paddle. There was just something about looking at it and knowing that it had been used - probably quite a few times - for actual school punishments. I was so sad when my ex-wife threw it away.”

 

Some instruments become “totems” or symbols of sorts. Or, they may evoke strong memories.  I think that’s more likely, however, with a small set of instruments that get regular use.  We seem to have gotten down to two instruments that are used almost every session, and a couple of others that make regular appearances. I’ll give a little background on each.

 

Somewhat surprisingly, given my negative comments back in 2017, the ebony hairbrush I bought a year or so ago has seen quite a bit of action.  It looks almost identical to the one in this photo. 

 

As I’ve said, hairbrushes of this style are among the most iconic spanking implements out there, even if they probably haven’t been among the highest-volume tools for a couple of generations. In fact, they can be pretty hard to find.  I bought ours used on eBay and, honestly, that’s a big part of the emotional reaction I get looking at it.  Part of me always wonders whether it has been used on other naughty bottoms.  The fact that the answer very well could be yes, but I don’t know for sure, gives it a certain mystique.  While not as effective as some other instruments, I’ve come around that, when used with sufficient force and vigor, it can bring a powerful sting.

 

The other instrument that is used in almost every session is Anne’s bath brush.  It was the first and only tool she personally bought and, for that reason, I think she has a very personal attachment to it.  We have two or three other bath brushes that I bought over the years, but they’ve gone unused since she bought her own.

 

My 2017 instrument list included leather straps, but at the time I was thinking about the traditional long, relatively narrow, “razor strop” style.  We have several of those, but they don’t get much use anymore.  Instead, this has become one of Anne’s “go-to” favorites:

 

While I don’t know anything about the history of our ebony hair brush, I know this paddle-like leather strap has seen service and has a history that is personally meaningful to me.  It was given to me by Aunt Kay’s husband, who used to participate here under the name Tomy.  It has the DWC logo on it, though I think these must have come from a larger commercial vendor, as I’ve seen them in several F/m spanking photos out there on the internet.  It’s proof that looks can be deceiving. While it’s compact and made of leather, it backs a surprisingly big and thuddy wallop. Its end also has this nasty habit of working its way in between the cheeks to soft tissues that have rarely felt the sting of other instruments.  It’s pretty damn excruciating.

 

For a while, we got away from wooden fraternity-style paddles, but one of them is working its way back into our sessions.  Another gift from Tomy, there’s nothing all that special looking about it. It’s not made from any exotic wood and has no holes. It’s basically just a fairly large, dark piece of wood with handles screwed onto it.  Yet, it has just the right mix of “sting” and “thud.” Anne has started to use it to augment spankings with her two brushes, when she has a message she wants to make sure is heard loudly and clearly.  And, as with the leather strap-paddle, it has additional meaning to me because of its association with Aunt Kay and Tomy and the fact I know it has been used on other male bottoms.

 

Alan also brought up the issue of what happens to all the tools that are out there:

 

“Considering the number of vendors actively selling the “tools of the trade” plus the number of motivated husbands handy enough to craft a paddle or strap, there must be literally thousands of spanking paraphernalia around, not being used currently, but once well used. Not all of these of course have been used in a serious DD relationship and fewer still in a DD F/M relationship.

 

And sadly, I am guessing many have been lost or destroyed. But there must be more than a few DD-weathered paddles or straps that have worked their way back into circulation. The paddle my wife used on me, that her ex-husband used on her technically qualifies. But I am thinking of spanking tools once used by a DD couple, but now owned by a different couple. Anyone know any stories?”

 

As described above, as we’ve simplified the number of instruments Anne uses, three of the four we ended up landing on for regular use have either definitely been “in circulation” with other DD couples or have very possibly been used for disciplinary purposes.  Those are a minor part of my collection, however, and at some point, I do need to find new homes for the rest.  

 

Years ago, I kept almost all our tools in a lockable foot locker, and the friend I’d told about our DD had kindly offered to spirit the footlocker out of the house and into the landfill if anything should happen to us. Now, however, in addition to our locked suitcase, I have instruments on various shelves around our closet, buried under piles of clothes, in drawers, and in other places.  Unless I get rid of all the extras or again consolidate everything in one secure location, anyone cleaning out our stuff in the future is going to have a few surprises on their hands.

 

What thoughts do you have regarding instruments?  Do you have a large collection, or just a few “go to” instruments?  Where did your go-to instruments come from? Who chose them?  Are there particular instruments that you find particularly erotic, that you or your wife react to emotionally, or that have interesting histories?  Is there an instrument that is most effective

at changing behavior? If so, is that because it is the most painful, or are there other reasons?

 

I hope you all have a great week.  Go vote!