Happy Friday all. We are winding down the summer with an impromptu vacation. I hope you all have a great weekend and upcoming week.
Dan
Dan
Friday, August 2, 2019
19 comments:
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Happy vacation, Dan!
ReplyDeleteIf anyone would like to try something new this weekend, may I suggest braided USB-C cable. My wife found swinging it unsatisfying, but I can report it certainly delivered an impact (and marks!).
Crimson King
Since Dan is on vacation, why don't we make that our topic? Memorable spankings that you received while on vacation or holiday or on a walk or at the mall or at a friend's house ... anywhere but in the confines of your own home.
ReplyDeleteA husband who knows
Since The Wife Who Knows is quite public that she is a disciplinary wife, there have been many instances in which I have been punished outside our home. In honor of Dan, I will relate our most memorable vacation.
ReplyDeleteIn 2016, we went to Ireland, which is part of her heritage, for a week. We rented a car and drove all around the Island in a big circle, staying at Bed and Breakfasts. My wife takes her oversized hairbrush everywhere so she can spank me, but we brought no other implements because we didn't want any delays going through customs.
I tend to be a cranky traveler, and by the time we reached our first night's lodgings my wife was ready to set my behind on fire. But she decided we needed to do it in the British tradition. So she had me dress in short pants and sent me outside to "find a cane to thrash you with."
We were at a place in Dublin that had two buildings with eight rooms each, connected by a courtyard that had some bushes and small trees. I figured I could break off a branch.
Other residents were passing through the courtyard, and they must have found my attention to the shrubbery to be rather odd. Finally I spotted something behind one of the bushes. It was a tan stick that was slightly curved and about a yard in length. It very much resembled a cane! It was hollow and bendable and about 3/4 of an inch thick. It was not bamboo; I wasn't even sure if it was wood.
When I walked in and handed it to her she laughed and said, "Leave it to you to find a cane at night in a foreign country!"
She had me strip completely naked and sit on the bed (no chairs in the room) while she lectured me about my vacation behavior and that she had had enough of my attitude and it was only the first night! She was not holding her voice down. She then had me put my hands on the bed and stick out my behind and she thrashed it quite thoroughly with the stick I had found, which she really liked as an implement.
Afterwards, we both looked it over and could NOT figure out what it was. We had seen nothing like it in the States. The ends looked like they had been cut off with a utility knife. It was very pliable; the ends could be bent together so they almost touched. But it also was stiff. Very smooth. We were totally unsure if it was wood or not.
The next morning she asked me to see if it fit in our suitcase; it was about two inches too long. So she told me I was to carry it all week from town to town as we moved our luggage.
By the third day, after using it on me again the second night, she was determined to find out what it was. So as we checked in at each B&B, she took it out of my hands and asked whoever was checking us in!
Usually it was the lady of the house, who wouldn't know and would call in her husband, who would examine it and also be perplexed. They would ask where we found it and I would tell about finding it under a bush in a courtyard. If they asked why we were carting it around, my wife would say something like, "It keeps my husband polite while traveling" or some similar response. At which the rest of us would laugh a bit nervously.
She used it on me every night of our vacation, just because she enjoyed it so, and I surely was on my best behavior because of it. It really stung!
The next to last night, we finally got an answer of what it was. The husband of the B&B explained that it was a conduit used for electrical wire that was being buried. Flexible enough to bend as needed, but stiff enough to protect the wire fed through it. A composite material, he said. This was possibly the smallest diameter, he said.
"Yah, conduit," he said in his thick brogue, and handed it back to my wife.
"Conduit to a joyous vacation!" My wife replied, and we all laughed merrily.
Unfortunately (or fortunately for my backside), we left it outside at the last B&B since it would not fit in our luggage.
A husband who knows
Good idea. Several years ago Dev thought I said something I didn’t. We went round and round for days. The only way to make things better was to give in. We have a storage shed in the back portion of the yard. She calls it a “ woodshed “ This place is reserved for the most serious offenses. When the time arrived she was waiting for me with her 10 inch long spenser paddle. There was a long lecture followed by a very long and hard paddling. I tried to stay quiet but that didn’t last long. When she done I was bruised and couldn’t walk well. Yes. Things did improve. Several days later our daughter was home and confirmed I was right. Now she feels remorse but the damage was already done. She offered me a freebie get out of one free. Nice idea but she won’t let me use it. JR
ReplyDeleteActually, my USB-C cable experience was just this past weekend while staying at a hotel.
ReplyDeleteWe've had a full house much of the summer, but we had a chance to stay at a nice hotel in a different town Saturday. On the drive there, and then over drinks at dinner, we talked about our FLR, male orgasm control and domestic discipline activities that we'd been neglecting. By the walk back to the hotel I was so aroused I could barely keep my hands off my lovely wife.
In our room, I was quickly naked. Though I wasn't necessarily expecting anything, it had been a hot evening, and who needs clothes anyway? I was bent over, plugging in a charger, I think, when I felt a sharp sting on my bare buttocks.
I started to jump up, realized what was happening, and bent back down. Sure enough, the first sting was quickly followed by more. "What is that?" I asked.
"My phone cable," my wife answered.
Now, this is no flimsy cable. It's a heavy duty braided line that she'd doubled over and was delivering to me in rapid sequence.
I admit I'd seen it in the past and wondered how it would feel. In fact, every swing had me wincing and popping up on my toes.
When she stopped she mentioned she didn't like how it felt - she's used to wielding something heavier. But the straight red lines across my buttocks showed it was a very effective tool anyway, and I felt a burning for hours.
It's a good travel implement - small, commonplace, and very quiet. As my wife hones her technique in the future, I'm sure her poor husband (me!) will be the noisiest part of the experience!
CrimsonKing
I've been spanked outside the house more times than I could count over the years. When we started the DWC lifestyle, the kids were still teens at home, so she would often take me to a nearby office that we had access to (after hours, obviously). I think there is still a hairbrush in the closet there. At my in-laws, I've been taken discreetly out to their storage shed and switched on a number of occasions. Then there have been a good number of spankings in the car (usually on a side street after dark), and vacations usually include a spanking or two. In fact, we just wrapped up our main summer vacation this weekend. Our grown daughter was sharing a room with us, but one evening she went out alone, and my wife who had been perturbed with me all day anyway - pulled out the hairbrush and started whacking. But, after about 40 or so whacks, our daughter came back early, and if had not been for me thinking to use the interior privacy lock, she would have walked in on us - my bare red ass and all. Since she had to wait a moment for us to get to the door, I think she was suspicious, but probably guessed that we were having sex - unless she heard the paddle - always a possibility. And, really, to this day, I don't know if either of the kids ever accidentally overheard any spanking. I don't think so as we were careful, but then teens can be sneaky. --al
DeleteSidenote:
Hi CrimsonKing - I don't recall if I've asked you this before or not - and since we both post anonymously, I can only post it here - but just curious if you happen to be the mature version of the CrimsonKid that used to post on the Usenet groups? I'm guessing not, but with the similarity in "handles', I thought I would inquire. And feel free to ignore this if you like - I know that our anonymity is important here.
--al
Hi al,
DeleteNo, I wasn't CrimsonKid - though I wonder what his adventures were!
Your vacation story is great (since it wasn't me!). Don't underestimate what moms and grown daughters talk about! (Ditto friends)
CrimsonKing
My wife is new to punishing, so we haven't really done anything outside the home. But recently we were shopping for a shed and I picked out a medium sized one and she said to get the larger one. I started to argue and she gave me "the look," which the salesman clearly enjoyed. On the way home I said we didn't need that big a shed and she replied, "we need the room so I can take you to the woodshed." I was truly surprised by that statement, and also excited. The shed is now up in our backyard and without her knowledge i ordered a razor strop and hung it on a nail. She hasn't seen it yet and hasn't taken me out there for punishment, but I can't wait!
ReplyDeleteAnton
Hi Dan,
ReplyDeleteI hope your vacation was great! You deserve it!
I haven't had the chance to be active for several weeks now on the blog, though interestingly we have become much more active in DD during this time. We have restarted our daily reporting and weekly check-ins, so hopefully that will bring more positive results for us.
I really didn't have much to say on last week's topic anyway. We may not really intentionally use a lot of ritual in punishments, but I am sure that there is a certain amount of "accidental" ritual that is not really intentional but rather more habit and normal practice. BTW, I loved KD's humorous posts about this!
I am still kind of rolling over something you said several weeks back ago: "And, what if someone has just a generally bad attitude or outlook? Spanking probably wouldn't cure that directly, but it could change the outward expression of it, and I do think that there is a feedback loop between our feelings and our expressions of those feelings. For example, I tend to be pretty cynical. If I got spanked or reprimanded every time I say something snotty or cynical, the spanking or reprimand might not immediately lead to a reduction in my cynical attitude, but I might learn to be careful about expressing that cynicism, and not expressing it as often might, over time, actually reduce the depth or breadth of that cynicism."
I think that is pretty much exactly my view of how DD might be used to address some of these more ingrained things. For me, I tend to become pretty negative which comes across as either sadness or grumpiness. If I knew that every time I started acting grumpy, I would probably try to suppress showing those feelings, and perhaps the act of suppressing the feelings would ultimately lead to a reduction in the feelings themselves. Kind of an enforced "fake it till you make it" sort of thing. If you are forced to put on a happy face or face the consequences, you might end up actually becoming happier. And since it generally feels good to be happy, pretty soon you might find your outlook improves even without the external motivation of imposed consequences.
I think this virtuous cycle is exactly what I always HOPE DD will provide. And while many have shot me down for it in the past, I think this is exactly what they try to accomplish in the classroom (maybe not so much these days) and in the military. To shape behavior using extrinsic motivation, but then as new habits are built, intrinsic motivation should take over because it feels good to do things right!
Also, on the addictions issue, I agree that DD may or may not be able to cure someone, however, there is a lot more skepticism now about 12-step programs, since quite frankly they have absolutely horrible results statistically. I was reading that there is increasing sentiment in the psychology community (which I am not in any way part of, since I neither know nor really care about psychology) that 12-step programs may not work well because they are not designed with psychology in mind.
So maybe a 12-step program and support group is what is really needed, or maybe the crazy Russian scientists have it right, and a series of good hard canings can do more than any psychologist could ever hope to do!
-ZM
I don't agree with you at all about 12 step, and I don't know where you are getting your statistics. If you include everybody who goes to a single 12-step meaning and then decides not to continue, then the statistics would probably look pretty grim. But if you look at the people who actually work the program, it's a different story. Those who complete each step with a sponsor have an amazing sobriety rate. I know numerous people with more than 10 years of sobriety and some with more than 30. Sex addicts.
DeleteA husband who knows
Meeting, not meaning
DeleteHi A husband who knows. I wasn't necessarily knocking 12 step programs, but rather was saying that there is increasingly discussion within the psychology community that 12-step programs are more rooted in faith (which I personally think is a pretty good thing), and the underlying science may not be all that sound. I have family members who have made truly miraculous lifestyle changes due to AA and other programs, so undoubtedly they can and do work at least for many people (maybe for those who are truly committed as you said)!
Delete-ZM
Hi ZM. Hope you're doing well. Would love to hear how the stepped up DD and reporting goes.
DeleteFrom what I have read, I would agree with ZM's statement that 12 Step Programs are following out of favor with the psychological community. I suspect there are other reasons this has occurred beyond the success of the recovery rate (I am reasonably certain that the whole "Higher Power" thing does not sit well with many psychologists - not to mention its Christian roots). And, in fact, while 12 Step recovery rates may seem dismal, they are still higher than non-Step recovery programs (and this is not a random remark, I've researched it).
ReplyDeleteFinally, in regard to 12 Step recovery, there is a saying in these programs - "It works if you work it" - meaning that one has to actually work the Steps with a sponsor to achieve recovery. Simply showing up at meetings is seldom sufficient.
Just a few additional thoughts. --al
(Again, I am not in 12 Step recovery, but have been overwhelmingly impressed by miraculous results that I have observed - so much so that I have made it a point to research the program myself).
I have no personal experience with 12 step programs and very little with acquaintances who have taken part in one. Based on what I have read as result of this discussion and the one from a couple of weeks ago, it does seem like there is good data showing that AA is more effective than treatment alone and certainly more effective than pure self-help. What I am curious about, however, is whether that would also be true of participation in any program where there is (a) a real desire to change; (b) admitting publicly to being out of control and needing help; and (c) ongoing, regular support from other program participants? In other words, do programs like AA succeed because of something particular to those 12 steps, or because of an overall approach that emphasizes admitting problem, taking responsibility while acknowledging you can't fix it on your own, then a lot of ongoing engagement with an established support network.
DeleteIt makes sense that for someone who cannot overcome an addiction on their own that believing something benevolent and almighty can succeed where the individual can’t, would provide a feeling of hope. As an atheist I do find it fascinating that to help a person help themselves one of the most successful ways to do it is to not try to convince the person that they do indeed have the ability to change but rather force them to admit that they can’t and then give them something seemingly more powerful to rely on instead. For an addict with a bad track record of trying to fix this on their own, the assurance that something else can achieve what they can’t.......as long as they believe it can and will....is a wonderful deception. And all the more wonderful since it seems to work.
DeleteIn fact the ONLY people I will not debate theism with are those in 12 step recovery programs. I even make it a point to ask that up front.
I am very much a “whatever works’ kind of guy. I also feel very lucky to not have addictive behavior because as an atheist I would be truly doomed.
Dan,
DeleteIt is the steps too. Outpatient group treatment programs do all of your a, b, and c without the effectiveness of 12 step. The in depth analysis of self that occurs in working the steps is a crucial component. As is the turn in Step 12 to providing service.
A husband who knows
It works if you work it and it won't if you don't and you're worth it, so work it!
ReplyDeleteSpanked on vacation. Brings back some erotic memories.
ReplyDelete