Saturday, August 10, 2019

Club Meeting 307 - Scolding

“Power is not a means; it is an end.  - George Orwell

Hello all.  Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or interested in being in, Domestic Discipline relationships, mainly of the Female/male variety.  I hope you had a good week.

Sorry for the late posting.  I had a few other things going on today.  Typical summer Saturday. 

Thanks for carrying on without me.  I did check in to see what was going on from time to time, but I was consciously trying to check out a bit.  I succeeded to some extent, though I ended up getting sick a few days into it.  I guess the upside is, I’ve been hoping to lose 10 or 15 pounds – just didn’t anticipate it happening quite so abruptly and violently.  I know -- Too Much Information, right?

I can’t say I came back super inspired with new topics.  But, it was nice of some of you to help me out with some ideas based on comments from a week ago.  During our discussion of rituals, Danielle and Alan had an exchange about scolding and its place in an FLR and DD relationship.  Based on some past polls, despite—or perhaps because of—its humbling aspects, many men seem to crave a firm “talking to.”  Here are the results of one we ran a couple of years ago:

"I am in a DD relationship, and if I could change things, I wish . . ."  

Spankings were more severe                                   76
Spankings were less severe                                       5

Spankings were more frequent                               91
Spankings were less frequent                                   3

My partner would be more verbally strict       76
My partner would be less verbally strict            0

My partner would be more openly dominant        67
My partner would be less openly dominant            1

While “more openly dominant,” came close, “more verbally strict” was the only answer that was 100% unanimous.  So, apparently many of us fantasize about their wives “using their words” to put us in our place.  Danielle talked about it thusly:

“Spankings are always preceded by a scolding. I’ve become adept at scolding and I like doing it. In pre-FLR days, Wayne and I used to have some pretty intense arguments about things like the division of housework. Now that we have a FLR I find it wonderfully empowering to be able to tear a strip off my husband in a one-sided way because I remember how he used to argue with me. I think it is as humbling for him as it is empowering for me. Sometimes a chastisement will begin and end with a good scolding.”



Alan responded:

“In our house a serious scolding usually is a segue to spanking but sometimes I am smart enough to back down early enough I get warnings, her favorite being “you’re close”. Discipline is a delicate dance and I unconsciously gauge how far I can go. That leash has gotten shorter and shorter over the years. But at the same time I think her warnings have become more and more effective because I know the point of no return is close. It’s part of the paradox every spankee confronts -loving to fantasize a spanking will be administered but hating the actual spanking itself.”


As Danielle and Alan point out, scolding can be a prelude to discipline, an independent form of discipline, or something that helps reinforce her authority and control.  I suppose it also could be used after a spanking to reinforce the message.


So, scolding it this week’s topic.  What role, if any, does it play in your DD or FLR relationship?  Are you one of those men who crave it?  Are those needs satisfied?  And, importantly, what impact does her scolding have on you? 

Tell us all how that works, with as much detail as possible since I think we all—husbands and wives—benefit from concrete examples. For the wives, are you comfortable scolding, lecturing, and verbally chastising your man?  If so, was it always that way?  If not, how did you get comfortable with it?  How does he react to it?

To kick it off, I am one of those men who want—or think I want—verbal strictness and scolding.  This is one area in which my desire for authority with a “maternal” vibe really comes shining through.  I would like her to explore being much more verbally strict – telling me what to do, chastising me with some real force and fury when I screw up, etc.  Our reality is a little different.  Most of the scolding that happens is, in fact, a prelude to spankings, and she doesn’t tend to “rip me a new one” outside that context.

I’m sure some women worry about being seen as “bitchy” if they are verbally strong, but I think for men wired like many of us here, it works the opposite.  Weak verbalizing comes off as “nagging,” while a strong and confident woman saying what she expects and enforcing her rules with her voice as much as with her paddle is incredibly sexy and alluring.

So, tell us about your experiences and views on scolding and verbal strictness.

I hope you have a great week.

64 comments:

  1. I had to think about that for a minute because it seems every time I get scolded it's usually followed by a spanking. I do remember a few times where we were out somewhere and I was complaining and my wife would point her finger in my face and say if you don't knock it off right now when we get home you will get spanking you won't forget. Another time I remember we were at a flea market and I was whining about how much longer we were staying and again with her finger in my face she said knock it off or I will give you a spanking right here and give you something to whine about. She didn't care if anyone heard her.

    My wife is very strict and very good at scolding and is not afraid to assert her power over me to keep me in line. She is also not afraid to assert her power in front of people which I know and it helps me try to behave better.

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    1. Thanks, Dan. Great stuff, and a great example of the combination our poll-takers, seem to especially want (or think they want) -- verbal strictness and more open domination. "My wife would point her finger in my face and say if you don't knock it off right now when we get home you will get spanking you won't forget." There is something so powerful about that statement and the confidence it represents. My wife has not gone that far (yet), but I think it would be a powerful took in keeping me in line because, as you point, knowing she could embarrass you in public like that would be in incredibly powerful tool for preventing the bad behavior in the first place or at least bringing it to a quick halt.

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    2. My wife also doesn't care who she threatens me in front of. When I once asked her to keep it down, she replied, "If you don't want to be embarrassed with the threat of punishment, then don't embarrass me with your behavior!" And she said that louder than the initial threat!
      A husband who knows

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  2. If scolding and lecturing are similar, The ones Dev give can be torturous. She says things in public that anyone can hear. She now has “ hand signals “ that she uses to indicate what’s going to happen. When the time arrives she explains in detail why she is so upset and why the spanking is being given. As I’m over her knee the scolding often continues and sometimes worse than the spanking itself. JR

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    1. JR, can you give some examples of things she says in public?

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    2. One thing she says frequently is “ you aren’t too big to take over my knee “

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    3. My wife uses a similar phrase. "If you think you are too old for a spanking, think again."

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    4. Additionally, she recently gave 5 very firm swats with her long Principal paddle. Some bruising after and some real heat ! Her new move is to hold her hand showing “ 5 “. Very subtle and effective. Her license plate has “ OTK “ on it. Most people don’t notice but some do and they always give us the look.

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    5. I'm surprised she got that plate through the DMV. I guess the reviewer wasn't sufficiently pervy to get it!

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  3. This is a great topic. Aunt Kay thought it was important enough that she dedicated a booklet and a video to the topic of "How to Scold".

    I don't know if or where they might still be found. But I am mentioning it just to reinforce the key part she felt it plays.

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    1. Hi Tomy. Are there any examples you can give of how Aunt Kay scolded?

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    2. Sometimes it would be the simple one-word per stroke with the paddle “This-is-what-you-get for –talking-like-that

      “Do you know what would have happened if I didn’t find that pot on the stove?” DO YOU?” and I was supposed to form a coherent answer while the spanks continued. Not an easy thing to do.

      “Tell me why you are getting this spanking.” And nine times out of ten she didn’t approve of the clumsy string of words I came up with and would ask again. “Tell me why you are getting this spanking.” That is something that sometimes frustrated me to tears.

      Also during spanking “What are you going to do about it?” and once again I was supposed to give a coherent answer even though the spanks did not pause.

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  4. I think scolding’s and spanking work together synergistically, although as discussed earlier both work alone. They are just not as effective alone. It also matters in what stage of discipline the scolding is delivered. Pre-spanking scolding’s work to put me in that submissive obedient sometimes ashamed frame of mind that prepares me mentally for the spanking to come and makes me want to show remorse. Interrogation especially at this stage is very effective when my wife leads me into admitting guilt verbally agreeing I need a spanking or even asking for one (which she loves). But scolding delivered during a spanking work on me differently, especially when she uses short simple phrases repetitively. They do actually teach and get internalized. (examples: “no is not in your vocabulary when you talk to me”- “why are you being spanked” “tell me why you deserve this” etc.) But scolding after a spanking as a rule doesn’t have that much effect on me. I think it just might be emotional overload but the punishment has been delivered and the verbal part of my brain is just not functioning that well at that point. Then “after care” and reassurance are what I look for and more scolding can create resentment in me. The one exception is when she has sent me to the corner afterward and then comes up behind me and delivers some hard hand smacks accompanied by more scolding. But that is rare in our relationship and usually means I am going to get another spanking before she is done
    Alan

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    1. Hi Alan. I can't think of an example where my wife scolded me *after* a spanking, but there have been instances where she basically turned on her heel and left, dismissively. For me, that kind of attitude drives her point and her authority home, while reassurance and "after care" aren't something I am really looking for at that point.

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    2. To each his own and if there is anything I have learned from this blog the varieties of style in DD relationships is almost endless. Both my wife and I like to put a wrap on it before moving on and some after care such as putting a lotion on my bottom and telling me she is OK or making positive results about how I handled the punishment works for us. But not for everyone I understand.
      Alan

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    3. Alan, agreed. I think the different approaches are summed up in the last two drawings from the post two weeks ago on Rituals. The first of those shows a woman with a determined look on her face exiting the room after (presumably) delivering a hard spanking. In the second, the wife comforts her husband after a similarly hard spanking. I think I gravitate toward the first, because the need for a strong "maternal" presence is at the heart of my DD need. This has been on my mind a lot lately. I've known for a long time that my need for DD is ultimately tied to a need for boundaries and accountability, and I need those because I didn't really have them growing up. While I resent it and resist it in the moment, deep down inside I really want to be subject to that kind of very hierarchical, omnipresent authority figure who doesn't take any crap and sends very consistent messages about expectations and consequences.

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  5. This is Robert. I am a spanked husband. Been following this blog for awhile. It is outstanding. When my wife spanks, scolding is a big part of the ritual. Before, during, and standing in the corner - after. Anyway, thanks for this blog. It has helped my wife normalize our relationship knowing we are far from alone.

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    1. Dan, we are entering our golden age of our spanking relationship. God bless hormone replacement therapy. Lot of catching up to do, but making great strides.

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  6. My wife is a championship scolder, before during and sometimes after a spanking. The scolding beforehand usually takes the form of warnings. My wife also has a great sense of humor, and as I have related she likes to use euphemisms for punishment, and I really enjoy that too. So she would hardly ever say something like you are due for a spanking. Instead it would be you need to be taken down a peg or two, or something else like that. And she will use those euphemisms in front of anyone, family, friend, or stranger. This weekend we were at the mall and she likes me to come and carry her bags and hand the sales girls my credit card in a flr manner. I was getting bored and let out a couple of sighs, and at one point she said in front of a very pretty young sales girl, do you need to be taken to the family bathroom for an attitude adjustment? I blushed deep red, and the sales girl tried to hide a snicker. It was so obvious what she meant.

    My wife believes that spankings are only effective when accompanied by scolding. She will scold me beforehand, explaining why I am getting a spanking and making me confirm the behavior and that I deserve a spanking. Sometimes she will ask me, so what needs to happen, and when I reply asking to be put over her knee, that reinforces who really is in charge. She especially likes to scold during the spanking. She will ask me lots of questions and expect the answers to come very quickly and heartfelt, and if they don't then she will increase the force and speed of the hairbrush or other implement landing on my poor bottom. Sometimes, when she is really angry, she will put me in the corner to think about it and scold me while I am in the corner and then bring me out for a second dose. She usually does not scold as much afterwards as I usually thank her for correcting me with cunnilingus and that ends the scolding. But sometimes if she is really angry, she will roll me off her lap and continue to scold. And that is when I feel the worst of all because her disappointment is so obvious. And I will beg her to let me thank her with my tongue and promise over and over again to correct the behavior.
    A husband who knows

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    1. I sometimes hate those family bathrooms. My wife has taken me there and spanked me only to come out and see people standing around because they heard the spanking going on. My wife also scolds before during and after the spanking. During the spanking it seems with every word that hairbrush or paddle is cracking down on me but after the scolding is done she starts the rapid fire spanks that gets me sobbing and crying. After the spanking it's corner time again where I get more lectures or scolding.

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    2. My wife doesn't scold me in public it is when we are at home and she doesn't scold me with the children present she calls me in the bedroom puts me in the corner till she gets the chair and hairbrush ready then calls me over I have to strip waist down and she softly scolds me before putting me over her knee during the spanking she tells me why I am receiving the spanking . She always makes me feel like a naughty little boy _William

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    3. My wife also ends spankings with a rapid-fire assault that leaves me blazing red and often sobbing. This follows the spank and scold portion of my punishment. She calls it "making my point" or "driving my point home" or "making sure you get the point." Sometimes at the end of the rapid-fire, which is anywhere from 20-50 smacks, she will ask, "Have I made my point?" "Yes, Ma'am," I will snivel. Then she rolls me off her lap. Occasionally she will ask me to explain what her point was, and I best get it correct or it's right back over ... for more scolding and spanking that is even harder.
      A husband who knows

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    4. "Occasionally she will ask me to explain what her point was, and I best get it correct or it's right back over ... for more scolding and spanking that is even harder."

      Been there. I dreaded having to give a "report" or produce the "right answers". But like you, I eventually got it right

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    5. Like KD's Rosa, Anne doesn't do a lot questioning during or after a spanking.

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  7. Rosa tends to do a thorough explanation before a punishment which is more of a lecture than scolding. But on occasion she will toss in a scold or two during the spanking. It’s pretty rare though.

    She will warn/scold prior to decreeing a punishment though.

    Admittedly we have tried various combinations over the years but that’s where we are now and I am fine with it. Rosa used to try to ask questions during a spanking but it was not very effective and she stopped doing it after a while.

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    1. Ours has varied over the years, too. One thing that seems to be changing a bit is her pre-spanking lectures now sometimes include asking me to explain why I am getting spanked, instead of her telling me why.

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  8. My wife is new to the disciplinary lifestyle but she has always been quite good at scolding (which I used to call something else but can't say that word or it would be a whipping for sure).
    Since she started spanking me, she has increased her level of scolding and basically takes me to task just like she does our kids, and right in front of them, too. It is more and more evident who wears the pants in this family and who gets them taken down (me and all of the children; she recently ordered me to stop spanking the kids as she wants to be in charge of all discipline).

    I get very embarrassed when she scolds me in front of our children, but I begged for a DD relationship and don't want to discourage it in any way. And while the scolding flushes my cheeks, it also sends blood elsewhere if you catch my drift.
    Anton

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    1. Those are great developments. I'm sure it is embarrassing at the time, but I understand why you also find it exciting.

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  9. Scolding is not real big in our relationship. It is not totally absent either. If we are out somewhere, my poor behavior will be followed by 'that look' and her saying something to the order of 'you know what that means'. I'm sure some folks know its meaning, but most do not. When we are home and she discovers an infraction, I hear 'I told you to do.... and you did not'. That is followed by her getting the implement and spanking me immediately. During the spanking, the scolding is not a question and answer thing like 'do you know why you are being spanked? or 'do you think this will help your behavior?. It is more one sided and directed by her authority. Between swats, I hear, 'you must remember to...' or 'you will obey when I say....' All in all, very few words and hardly ever raising her voice, but along with the sound spankings it is quite effective.

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  10. My wife doesn't really scold much either unless we are in public or on those rare occasions when there is a witness.

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    1. Does she just scold you in public or in front of a witness, or spank you too?

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    2. Scolded in public. Never spanked in public (at least not yet). In front of her sister, scolded and spanked.

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  11. Scolding or telling off is a key part of our ritual. We generally have a ‘reset’ session at least once a week which she will signpost vocally and often in our shared journal. ‘We need a good reset session!’ Accompanied by the look, the words are a powerful reminder that I will be submitting to the strap & cane in the very near future.

    At the time she will tell me to ‘get ready’ at which point she will normally leave the room. I always start to regret what I have agreed to (and whatever I have done) at this point. I am required to remove my clothes ( I will try to retain a t-shirt but that is usually ordered off) and get several pillows stacked at the edge of the bed.

    When she returns the telling off will start as she goes to the drawer to retrieve the ‘weapons’ - the Irish school strap, the short synthetic cane and maybe the leather paddle.

    ‘Well! Here we are again!’ as I stand by the bed feeling distinctly foolish. She will start by expressing her disappointment and then gets into the litany of my rudeness, disrespect, thoughtless behavior in a telling off that can often go on for 10 - 15 minutes, me getting more red faced and embarrassed by the second.

    At some stage she will dismissively tell me to ‘get in position’ and will often sit on the bed forcing me to look up at her as the words continue to flow, asking my agreement to her judgments.

    Eventually she will stand up, upend the over sized egg timer that she uses several turns of to measure time with each implement and she moves to striking position where she will usually carry on the scolding with me desperate to get started so it can be over. The actual spanking is generally accompanied by more words of admonishment, with me often being ‘asked’ to concur with her opinion… which I find very difficult with my rear cheeks on fire and dealing with the rapidly growing pain …

    The process creates a strong sense of submission which she completes when the spanking is finished with me remaining in position and her sitting down on the bed again and asking ‘Now how do you feel?’ - a notoriously difficult question as the ‘wrong’ answer has on some occasions restarted the spanking …

    The only deviation from this process will happen on those fairly rare occasions where I have done something which she wants to deal with immediately at which time it is a quick march upstairs, ordered to strip, into position and invariably the strap is quickly & soundly applied with minimal vocal soundtrack (from her!). She is usually cross enough at these times to deliver the firmest of my many punishments. In my mind the former is 'discipline' and the latter definitely 'punishment'!

    TB

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    1. Sounds like many of you are "quizzed" during the spanking and made to be fairly active participants in your punishment.

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  12. My wife scolds with a wonderful sense of humor. Like tonight, she asked me if I had fed the cats. I said no.
    "Well," she said, "would you like to get your cute white behind in there and feed them, or would you like to feed them with a cute red behind?"
    I hesitated for about one second. So a cute red behind it was!
    A husband who knows

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  13. I find TB's comment interesting, that some spankings can be for discipline and others for punishment. I differentiate discipline as "training," whereas punishment is "consequences." So it does make sense that corporal punishment can serve both.

    Of course consequences do help train, but discipline is much broader than punishment. My wife uses the term training a lot nowadays and says the reason she has adopted the disciplinary wife role at my behest is because I am "undiaciplined" and "in need of training as a husband." And she says this as part of her scoldings...
    Anton

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  14. I do more lecturing before the spanking than scolding, although sometimes I'll scold as part of the lecture. If it's a scheduled spanking, there's always a lecture before I actually administer discipline. If it's a spontaneous spanking (or as spontaneous as they can be, since he has to at least put on lingerie, makeup and perfume before I discipline him), it's usually more scolding than lecturing.

    Usually, he begs or protests during the lecture, so I do have to use a scolding tone of voice and volume to make him stop. The same thing happens when I tell him to get the implement I've decreed.

    During the Disciplinary Session, things happen that do require scolding, but, I'm not going to go into them for now to avoid making this seem like pornography, unless anyone's curious and the admin says it's OK.

    While I'm actually spanking him, I try to avoid saying anything until the last trip across my lap. I want him to concentrate on the message I'm delivering to his rear end so I don't want words to distract him. If he begs too much for me to stop, I might say something quick like "BE QUIET OR YOU'LL GET EXTRA!" as I paddle a little harder. On the last trip across my lap, I'll scold and do a Q&A. Sometimes, after the over the knee, I'll have him kneel on the floor, a couch or a chair and bend over. I'll pull down his panties again and do a Q&A while I swat his bottom with a leather strap or paddle. If I don't like the answer, I'll often ask him is he needs another trip across my lap or the cane.

    I don't always do an after spanking scolding or lecture. After some corner time, usually I call him out and make him stand in front of me and ask him if he's going to be a good boy so I won't have to turn him into a sissy again and spank him and tell him how much him being disobedient doesn't please me and how he should want to please me and obey me.

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  15. In regard to Tomy Nash's comment above regarding Aunt Kay's book on scolding - I may still have a copy. Tomy - if I can find it, I will scan it when I have some free time, and email you the pdf. You, of all of us, should have a copy. Then you can decide if you want to make it available to the group - or perhaps even republish it.

    The only comment I have right now on scolding is that my wife returned home last night from a 3 day business trip to find that things didn't really go well while she was gone, although I didn't think it was all that bad - but she did, and I got my ass thoroughly chewed then thoroughly blistered shortly after her arrival. Fortunately, I still got laid a bit later in the evening. (Spanking me often makes her a bit horny, and because of the trip it had been several days without). --al

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  16. I actually woke up to a scolding this morning. The Wife Who Knows was standing at the end of the bed saying, "You left the pool water on all night -- again!"
    I had been filling the pool, which was a little low, and forgot to set the timer. It is the third time it has happened this year.
    "Get your ass out of bed!" My wife scolded. "You obviously didn't get it hard enough last time!"
    I groggily rolled out of bed and saw she was holding the prison strap, which she reserves for the worst offenses. She ordered me to bend over and put my hands on the end of the bed and stick out my bottom. Then she yanked down my boxer shorts and began wailing away with the strap. She gave me about 20 really hard ones, then stopped and asked, "are you going to remember to set the timer and turn off the pool water?" I said yes ma'am. She said, "I don't believe you!" And then she started wailing away again. She asked me that question six different times, with about 20 of the strap after each time I said yes and she said that she didn't believe me. By the end I was sobbing, apologizing, and promising never to leave the pool water on again. Then she threw the strap on the bed and stalked out of the room. I followed and spent an hour soothing her with my tongue before she calmed down. She even scolded me for the first 10 minutes I was licking her, and she never does that.
    A husband who knows

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    1. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who sometimes does really dumb things out of sheer forgetfulness.

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  17. What resonates most with me is Dan’s comment linking “scolding” with “confidence”.
    My experience has been that DeeDee’s scolding has increased immensely along the journey as she grew more confident in her role as a DWC wife.
    Most often, scolding will come when I am over her knee and after she has gotten my full attention with a few dozen swats. She will pause to remind me why I am getting spanked and ask me what I intend to do to remedy the situation…and any other thoughts or commands she has at the moment. It is a time when I am able to listen quite well and certainly remember her words clearly.
    She also insists that I repeat why I am being spanked and respond clearly to her questions…which are not as easy for me.
    I am curious as to how many other husbands find it difficult to respond verbally when being spanked? For me, it has been a learned practice…one that I still find difficult. For some reason, I find it very hard to answer questions or have any dialogue when I am across her lap.

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    1. I would assume that scolding is actually harder for many wives to do than doling out a spanking. Particularly in this era of rampant political correctness, we are all conditioned to never give offense, and it cuts against much of human nature anyway. Add to that women being conditioned not to be "bitchy," and I a am sure that quite a bit of confidence must develop before scolding becomes natural for many of them.

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    2. My wife during the pre spanking (I will call it) is when she has me over her knee and asks questions while giving me some swats with the paddle and she expects an answer. This will go on until she feels she got her point across. This could be lecture and scolding and sometimes goes on for 15 to 20 minutes which usually has me sobbing which makes it very hard to answer her questions. After she is finished getting her point across is when she just starts her rapid fire swats which can bring me to tears and crying and promising to be good. It goes on until she feels satisfied I learned my lesson.

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  18. You are right that the more a woman grows in confidence of her authority the more she tends to express herself verbally. Seeing your wife or girlfriend come alive that way makes one realize how much some women have been repressed and inhibited in our society. There is a lot of responsibility in taking charge of discipline in an adult consensual relationship but one of the big payoffs must be the realization she has the power to change things without fear of male disapproval. As far as answering questions during a spanking, it depends on how fast she spanks and whether she really expects a coherent answer. My wife has combined spanking and serious interrogation but she will stop spanking after the warm up ask a question, deliver a flurry of spanks and then stop and wait for my response, followed by another flurry, another stop, another question and on and on. This only happens when she is really pissed and it goes on a while. She also knows it is a very effective way to punish me because her usual hard and fast rhythm while it hurts like hell numbs my bum within a couple of minutes. But stopping and restarting allows my bottom to recover and she can and has gone on for probably half an hour. When it is hard and fast she also talks to me but it is rhetorical rather than expecting a serious answer like " what happens when you disobey me" or something similar.
    Alan

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    1. Thanks, Alan. Great stuff. I love envisioning these scenarios many of you relate in which your wife is really mad during a spanking. I don't recall that ever really happening for us.

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  19. I also find it very difficult to respond verbally while my bottom is being tanned. But that is exactly what my wife expects. She says the spanking by itself is worthless, unless she knows that she is helping me change my behavior. So she expects me to answer each and every question that she asks. With lots of apologizing and promising for the future. This is especially difficult to do if I am sobbing. But she expects it anyway and does not want to hear any excuses. She also expects the answers to come quickly. If I hesitate, then she increases the force of the spanking. A husband who knows

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  20. Hi Dan,
    Great topic, as always!

    As far as scolding goes, I had never really thought of verbal warnings as fitting into the scolding category, but as I think about it I can certainly see how they could. One thing that my wife and I realized as we were discussing this weeks topic is that she has not really done any verbal warnings at all, at least not publicly. Rather, she usually doesn't say anything until she decides that punishment is due. I think she will probably be doing more of the warning thing, based on what she said.

    As far as during punishments, she tends to talk for a long time before the punishment, but it is almost never really scolding, rather it is more like a calm lecture. By the time she starts spanking, I am dying for it to end. However, I do wish that she would significantly amp up the scolding tone during this time. She punished me this week, and I did notice that she did scold a bit more, probably because we had just talked about it a couple days before.

    During the spanking is when she tends to do what I would really consider scolding, often punctuating it with swats, as others have said.

    After spanking, she doesn't scold at all. I think for both of us, once a punishment is administered, we consider it over.

    -ZM

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    1. I don't know whether I should be flattered, or feel guilty, that your wife takes helpful hints from this blog!

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    2. Ah yes the calm lecture that seems like it will never end. That's much more like my wife's style.

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  22. To me it all is scolding: the verbal warnings, the lecture, the Q&A, etc. She doesn't have to raise her voice to be scolding. It all is accompanying physical punishment. She sure isn't lecturing like a college professor!
    A husband who knows

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    1. I see them as all being part of the same process, but when I hear the word "scolding," I tend to think more of the dictionary meanings, which always reference anger or irritation. Anyway, that is all a matter of semantics. And I can tell you that even her very calm lectures can seem to go on and on!

      However, in keeping with Dan's question which referenced "verbal strictness" I would say that this happens pretty much only during a spanking, but I am hoping it will expand into other times a bit as well.

      -ZM

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  23. Possible topic: Compare the discipline you got from your parents with the discipline you get from your wife (or give to your husband). How are they alike and different? Which has been more effective? Which do you prefer?
    A husband who knows

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  24. Add school in there to jazz it up a bit: punishment from parents, teachers, and partners!
    Anton

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  25. When punished in private, the scolding from my wife is pretty minimal. When she ups the embarrassment by having a witness, the scolding flows from her like well rehearsed prose. All designed to embarrass me. Very effective punishment.

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    1. When I bring over a lady to witness husband getting a spanking, I encourage them to make comments. I encourage my visitors to comment on how pretty his dress is, how nice his makeup is or how good his perfume smells.

      Before I start the discipline, he has to curtsey to my visitor and tell her he's been a naughty little sissy and he's going to be disciplined and ask her if she'd like to see him get his discipline. I encourage her to answer yes with a lot of enthusiasm and ask him what he did to earn his punishment.

      He has to curtsey to her during the undressing ritual. I invite comments about how pretty his lingerie is. Finally, I invite comments about the tent in his panties. Usually I decree panties with ruffles, bows and ribbons for his disciplinary underwear, so it does emphasize the tent in the panties.

      After the spanking, when he's in the corner, sometimes I'll go over and pull down his panties, and we'll sit on the couch sipping drinks and making comments about my handiwork. When my guest is ready to leave, I make him thank her for watching him get punished and invite comments to caution him to be a good sissy in the future.

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    2. Please don't suggest this to my wife.

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