Hi all. Welcome back to The Forum. Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationships. I hope you had a good week.
Mine was, again, more than a little exhausting. Work is just insanely busy, and I feel like between that and some personal issues I had been forced to deal with unexpectedly, it has been one of the more challenging periods I've had in a long time. But, I'm finally seeing a little bit of light at the end of that tunnel.
I try to find quotes to post at the top of these entries that somehow tie into the weekly topic. Sometimes I fail and just use something inspiring about female poewr, and sometimes I come across a quote that I like and decide to use it regardless of topic fit. This week, it kind of accidentally fits the topic. It is from a post to another group by a new electronic friend of mine. Every once in awhile one of those memes get under my skin, and this one kind of did. I travel a lot for work and have a job that isn't exactly like working on a factory floor making widgets all day, so if I set the bar low enough, it is true that I do lots of little things for the "first time." But many of those experiences are work oriented or are small variations on things I've done before. Her meme really did stump me when it came to identifying anything really significant or meaningful that I have done recently for the first time. They say the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth, and I need to make more of a conscious effort to have more "first time" experiences.
The quote did end up relating a little to this week's topic. DD was something that I tried for the "first time" many years ago, and it became a major part of our relationship. For all of us, there was "first time" for this thing all of us here do or are interested in. This week's topic isn't about that "first time" itself, but more about how the expectations were set for what it would be like or what the couple wanted out of it. There is a poll posted on the right-hand side of the blog regarding contracts. We have talked about them before and whether people have some kind of formalized DD agreement. I'll probably do a specific topic on that in the coming weeks, but this week I'll cast a little broader net and characterize the issue as "expectation setting." Domestic Discipline is, at least in my mind, really at its core about rules and consequences. Or at least about consequences for bad behavior. That is really what separates it from BDSM and Dominance/submission. The focus is on correcting behavior and/or a price being paid for bad behaviors in order to deter them from happening again, make the offending party pay some actual penance, or give the other party a way to express their dissatisfaction in very concrete terms.
I'm guessing that the content of the rules we end up subjected to, and that will get some of us spanked, have a high degree of similarity. Disrespect. Engaging in dangerous or self-destructive behavior. Slacking on household chores, etc. While the content of our rules probably overlap a lot, however, I suspect there is a fair amount of diversity in how they were arrived at. How did it work for you? Was there some kind of formal discussion between the two of you about what the rules would be? About what the punishment(s) would be for violating each rule? Was there a formal sit-down meeting to discuss and agree to those rules? And, not just about the rules, but what the expectations would be going forward for the disciplined party and for the Disciplinarian? Or, were the expectations simply imposed, or perhaps worked out informally over time? Did some kind of contract or formal agreement result? Please tell us about how your particular expectation-setting process worked.
For fun, I also invite each of you to respond to the question posed at the top of this post.
I hope you all have a great week.