A woman in love will do almost anything for a man, except give up the desire to improve him.
Nathaniel Branden. (US psychologist)
Hello all. Welcome back to The Forum. Our weekly gathering of women and men who are in, or would like to be in, Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationships. I hope you had a good week. Mine was busy. A little too busy, and it hasn't ended yet. My business is project-oriented, and it can be feast or famine. Just a few weeks ago I was whining that I didn't have much to do, and now I'm so busy I can't see straight. Seldom is there a happy medium. I've also been having some employee issues. One in particular involves a very headstrong guy who has a lot of great qualities, maturing not being among them. At forty years-old, he's still locked firmly in "Bro" culture, with one foot in the professional world and one firmly in the world of college frat boy culture. He's one of those guys who could really profit from a steady relationship with a woman wielding a big paddle. But, unless you happen to get "lucky" and end up with a woman who introduces you to such things, you need to have at least enough self-awareness to realize you need help with goals, boundaries, maturity, etc. and then you have to make the move to ask someone to help you attain those things. Unfortunately, this guy is not remotely self-aware enough to even own up to the havoc his immaturity and judgment issues wreak on himself on those around him. So, I suspect his life may become a series of very hard lessons. Which is maybe an irony about these DD relationships versus something more vanilla. Some may recoil from DD because it seems harsh or the consequences of breaking the rules are just too painful. But, it is a pain with a finite start and end. In contrast, an undisciplined lifestyle can result in all sorts of long-term pain and angst and negative personal and professional career impact. The same thing obviously applies to the overall relationship. Lots of non-DD couples are living Thoreau's lives of "quiet desperation," grinding their way through simmering resentment and hurt feelings, while most who have tried DD report that one of the key benefits is problems are dealt with quickly, then the couple moves on. So, do you want your pain now and all in one dose, or long and slow and grinding?
After that philosophical lead in, I'm going to go in the opposite direction for this week's topic and keep it very grounded. TB brought up the issue of FM fiction and suggested a topic involving the best sources for it. I'll expand that a little. Do you have favorite blogs, websites or books that have inspired or guided you when it comes to DD or FLR relationships? I admit that most of the stuff I've found out there is pretty dreadful, to the point that I've thought about writing my own "how to" book, though I've never found the time to do it. I don't spend a lot of time with DD-related fiction, because again I don't have a lot of free time, and I haven't found much out there that is worth the little time I have. But, I do think that some of it can serve a purpose beyond entertainment. I have sent a lot of DD-oriented journal entries to my wife over the years, but I've noticed that when I have sent along some DD-oriented fiction that seems to illustrate the severity or tone I wish for, she seems to respond more than when I just say it directly in a journal or even face-to-face.
- The "real" DWC website: www.auntkaysdwc.com
- Spanking Life: http://www.spankinglife.com. I recently ran across this. The stories are a little repetitive and only some of it is DD or FLR themed, but there are a few I liked.
- The Hesitant Mistress (this book is probably the most realistic book I've found on setting up a real world FLR)
- The Good Wife's Guide to Taking Charge
I hope you have a good week.