The Club - Meeting 292 - First Times

“A woman in love will do almost anything for a man, except give up the desire to improve him.” - Nathaniel Branden

Hello all.  Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couples Club.  Our weekly gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, Domestic Discipline relationships.  I hope you had a good week.  Mine started off pretty well.  I felt like I was finally getting my feet under me in my new job role.  Then, it all deteriorated by week’s end.  But, I’ll take whatever progress I can get.  It’s, hopefully, a little like walking up a circular staircase; you come back to the same point over and over again but at a slightly higher elevation.  At least, that’s the hope.  I also developed a little physical ailment that may actually do a better job of slowing me down that Domestic Discipline has.  Getting old is not for wimps.

Last week’s topic on “others” knowing didn’t get a huge volume of response, though it did strike a chord for Elizabeth and Frank in light of the dynamic going on with her sister and brother-in-law. I am very interested in hearing about their upcoming discussion, if they care to share it with us. I am more than a little envious that Frank could end up with someone he can talk to face-to-face about this thing they do, with someone on the same side of the paddle.  As I’ve recounted, only three people really know about our DD relationship, and only two of those are in-person relationships.  Of those two, one isn’t into DD and the other is on the other end of the paddle.  That’s not nothing, but it would still feel freeing to have the comradery of someone else who has these same needs.

I’m a little distracted this weekend, so this topic will be a little short, and not one I have a lot to speak about directly.  It is an extension of the theme on “asking for it.”  Our earlier polls and most of our discussions verify that it is usually the husband who asks for the DD relationship.  It seems to be the same with most M/f dynamics – it is the disciplined spouse who initiates the relationship.   This week’s topic is pretty simple: Was there a specific event that lead you or your spouse to ask for it – “it” being the DD relationship as a whole?  Was there some particular bit of bad behavior that preceded asking for it that first time?  Or maybe some particular low point in personal behavior that drove wanting the accountability? Or, was there a point where a pre-existing fascination became overpowering?

My own story doesn’t really follow any of those lines.  I didn’t have a pre-existing fascination with adult discipline, and there wasn’t any behavior-related precipitating event.  I encountered the Disciplinary Wives Club website, and it caused a reaction that was strong, I really had to ask for it.  I suspect I did have some deep and previously unrecognized need for enforced accountability that was triggered by that website, but even though I like to think I am a fairly self-aware person, I did not recognize that need in myself until I found a website that expressed it so openly.

How about you? Tell us about the precipitating event that led you to ask or be asked be in a disciplinary relationship.  Or, if you are in that rare DD relationship that was imposed by the disciplinarian, tell us about that.