Hi all. Happy Saturday. I hope you had a great week. Welcome back to the Forum -- our weekly gathering of men and women practicing or interested in domestic discipline and female led relationships.
We had a nice good discussion brewing at the end of hte last topic. It's one I want to follow up on at some point, though it hasn't quite gelled into a topic in mind yet. Something about the responsibilities of leadership or learning to be a leader. Anyway, I'll let that one marinate for awhile.
In the meantime, let's talk about maintnance spankings. I'll define them loosely as spankings that serve some disciplinary functin, line reinforcing the respective roles, but aren't to punish or correct specific behavior. But, that is just my definition. Do maintenannce spankings play a role in your relationship? What are the positives and negatives?
I will lead off by saying we don't use them, at least intentionally. I've always been concerned that they would send a mixed message, transforming a spanking that for us is supposed to be about punishg behavior, into something else. Now, there sometimes is such a delay between the act and retribution that the spanking feels more like maintenance than correcting a specific offense, but we're working on that.
So, tell us about your experiences or thoughts on maintenance spankings. And have a great week.
Dan
We had a nice good discussion brewing at the end of hte last topic. It's one I want to follow up on at some point, though it hasn't quite gelled into a topic in mind yet. Something about the responsibilities of leadership or learning to be a leader. Anyway, I'll let that one marinate for awhile.
In the meantime, let's talk about maintnance spankings. I'll define them loosely as spankings that serve some disciplinary functin, line reinforcing the respective roles, but aren't to punish or correct specific behavior. But, that is just my definition. Do maintenannce spankings play a role in your relationship? What are the positives and negatives?
I will lead off by saying we don't use them, at least intentionally. I've always been concerned that they would send a mixed message, transforming a spanking that for us is supposed to be about punishg behavior, into something else. Now, there sometimes is such a delay between the act and retribution that the spanking feels more like maintenance than correcting a specific offense, but we're working on that.
So, tell us about your experiences or thoughts on maintenance spankings. And have a great week.
Dan
Hi Dan,
ReplyDeleteI guess the classic maintenance spanking is a situation where weekly or monthly or some set interval a spanking is administered not quite as severe as a punishment spanking might be but understood to be disciplinary in the sense of accepting authority and remembering who is in charge.One touted reason for maintenance spankings is that they cut down on the need for punishment spanking.We have tried these but stopped because they just became robotic . But we do other things that could be considered maintenance spanking so its not completely black and white. She has used " preventative" spanking for some time now spanking me before certain parties and holiday events I ( used to ) inevitably earn a punishment.They work for us because they guarantee my good behavior. ( not just preventatives but I am always well behaved and solicitous for several days after a spanking). We also in the last two years have resumed regular conduct reviews once a month in which we discuss my behavior the last month. These don't always result in a spanking but usually do. My point is that there can be several types of " maintenance" and some might work for you as a couple and some might not. In a sense though all adult DD is maintenance as a wife is maintaining a standard of conduct with spanking and whether it is on some schedule or not it is all discipline
Alan .
Thanks, Alan. We might give preventative spankings a try sometimes. Like you, parties and holiday events are like a magnet for my bad behavior.
DeleteHi Alan - I recall us talking about this before - about how both our wives had both come up with the idea of "preventative" spankings administered before social gatherings and parties - and especially family gatherings for me (they seem to always cause me the most problem). As I recall both of the wives had even called them "preventative" spankings". She still applies them before any significant event - and I have to say that they do help me remember to behave and watch my tongue - especially each time I take a seat. --al
DeleteI will receive maintenance at least once a week. Like Alan quite often it's prior to going some place I'm not happy going to and reminds me to behave and for us that works. Punishment does not happen that often and we feel it's because of maintenance. For me maintenance is also a good reminder that she is in charge and has complete control. Also the discussion just prior to the spanking and after is wonderful.
ReplyDeletearchedone
Thanks, archedone.
DeleteDan
ReplyDeleteIn our home, I have never thought of discipline in two different categories. But I do see your point. In our home
what you refer to as maintenance is when I notice Peter is showing any form of deviation from the rules we have set. I see it as preventative and more often than not occurs after work when he is in the shower I slip upstairs and remind him with a quick caning. If the boys are home the shower and the music he plays drowns
out the noise.
Punishment I try to only administer when we are not in a hurry. At the moment, that is usually on saturday mornings when the boys are at their grandparents. I do want to make one point I meant to make last week.
There is never a discussion about a punishment being fair or not. I made it clear the first time he felt we needed to debate if it was deserved or not would be the day I would never use discipline on him again. To date that has not happened.
Anna
Thanks, Anna. It sounds like you are separating them more on the basis of severity than on whether he did do something wrong to earn the spanking or caning. What I was thinking of as maintenance was more along the lines of what Alan is describing, such as a purely cautionary spanking before some social activity, or a regular weekly spanking that happens whether or not he has displayed any bad behavior. But, I guess yours is still a form of "nippping it in the bud" even if he did some minor deviation to "earn" it.
DeleteDan
DeleteOften when I as you said "am nipping it in the bud" it is usually a certain tone he takes that I recognize as the harbinger of some sort of arrogant bad behavior to come. Regardless of what
one calls it, it works.
The woman who introduced me to spanking would say she could hear it in my voice. She usually used this as a verbal warning to me but several times it led directly to a spanking. It made me much more aware of when a tone or attitude was sneaking into my general demeanor and it helped me improve many other relationships as well as ours..
DeleteAlan.
Thank you Alan!
DeleteAnna
Most of the spankings L. gets (and I spank him often!) are, in part, "maintenance", in that they are meant to remind him to behave - but the true "maintenance spankings" are those he gets when he has not misbehaved for a spell, but nevertheless needs to be kept "on his toes" - something best achieved across my lap...
ReplyDeleteJ.
Hi J. That is definitely what I was thinking of as "maintneance." Thanks for contributing.
DeleteDan
Would love to be on the receiving end of a regular 'maintenance' spanking. I really like J's reply. Her spankings seem to fall into the 'just because' category (heh).
ReplyDeleteT
Those "maintenance" spankings are not administered "just because" (i.e. on a whim), but to remind L. of who wears the pants in our household - and of whose pants may be pulled down at a moment's notice (and at my own discretion)... They are "occasional" and relatively infrequent (ca. once a month) because L. is likely to get himself in some sort of misbehaving "trouble" once or twice a week - and thus to earn himself a taste of the hairbrush, the kitchen spoon, the strap or the martinet...
DeleteJ.
I have not commented for a while but will now.I don't use maintenance spanking but I can see why a woman might use it if her objective is obedience and submission. My main purpose in spanking is to correct behavior and that only happens for us when I spank him on the spot or very soon after the infraction. I don't necessarily want my husband to be obedient to the point he is submissive. But I do want his conduct to meet my expectations. if I waited to spank him until Friday night at 6:o clock ( or some other scheduled time) the link between bad behavior and consequences would be broken. I am not knocking maintenance spanking. M own mother used something like that in her marriage with impressive results. But you need to think about what your purpose is in spanking in the first place
ReplyDeleteHolly
Hi Holly. I tend to agree -- delivering punishment close in time to the offense is much more effective. When it doesn't happen for us, it is very often because of family or social interferences.
DeleteHolly, I also agree.
DeleteI also agree that punishment should be as near to the infraction as is possible. In my case, I'm rarely punished at the moment of infraction because it's often impractical. Instead and when possible, I am advised that it will be discussed that evening over dinner and I know that punishment will follow shortly after it. My part in this is to admit my guilt by placing the cane between us on the dinner table which sets the scene appropriately for discussion.
The only exception to this is when we have guests to dinner when I will be punished at bed time and it's regardless of anyone staying.
Dave
Hello Dan,
ReplyDelete“There is never a discussion about a punishment being fair or not. I made it clear the first time he felt we needed to debate if it was deserved or not would be the day I would never use discipline on him again"
The above statement Anna made seemed lost in the later discussion but it is highly important.A wife must always be empowered to punish when she feels it necessary without a challenge or resistance from her husband.I would wager more FLR's fail for disregard of that rule than any other.It is natural for a man to try to avoid a punishment but it is wrong to do it. He has given her this authority and asked her to use it and he should support her in every way in exercising that authority. Jay is not permitted to question my decision to spank him and I fully expect him to participate in the punishment by cooperating with me and showing appropriate remorse and contrition. I do however allow him to argue his side after it is over and I listen to him.There have been a few times I was too quick to spank or too severe for the offense. We both learned from that. and communicating after a punishment is a positive thing. but protest before is not.I have only really spanked one man so I am no expert but I believe guys should obey their wife, take their medicine and use it to become the better person and husband you really want to be.
Marisa
Marisa
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU !
Anna
Anna and Marisa, thank you both for your comments. I tend to shy away from absolutist positions on just about everything. I think humans are complicated, and so are their relationships and their communications. So, in principle I agree that if a husband has agreed to accept his wife's authority, he needs to comply when she orders a punishment. But, I also am not totally comfortable with truly absolutist line drawing on the issue. If a couple has used DD for years and it has enhanced the relationship, if one time he screws up and resists, does it really make sense that everything ends right then and there? Sounds a lot like the proverbial cutting off one's nose to spite one's face. And, if she really is in command, shouldn't she be able to overcome a moment of ill-conceived resistance or argument? There was a story on the Disciplinary Wives Clulb website that I really liked entitled "Even More." The fictional husband related how he had resisted once, and she punished him with a much, much worse series of spankings that cured his appetite for rebellion. That seems to me to be more in line with what DD couples are trying to get to. Not perfection in his acceptance of authority but, rather, consequences when he screws up.
DeleteJust my two cents.
I am not an absolutist,far from it.Nor would I spank my husband if he were ill or reasonably asked for a delay. But asking for a delay is very different from disobeying me. It is also different from resistance which I know how to deal with.Maybe this is a female -male thing but authority is not something that can be played with .The reality is all of you boys have a spanking fetish. There is nothing wrong with that and in fact I would rather be involved with a man who had some kink because frankly kinky men are more interesting in and out of the bedroom. But all of you would turn discipline into a game if we allowed it destroying both what you need and your wife wants. That is why any defiance in the face of an impending punishment is such a serious matter. Just for the record if he did disobey I would probably when he settled down administer a punishment he would never forget and then give him another chance. The second time though it would be over. It really has to be that way.
DeleteMarisa
I totally agree that kinky is interesting. It's one reason I have mixed feelings about DD and FLR relationships becoming more openly discussed and accepted. I always suspect it just wouldn't be as interesting or stimlating if there wasn't some kinkiness associated with it. But, I don't agree that all of us have a spanking fetish and would turn it into a game if allowed to go in that direction. The latter is one reason I have never asked for, and would probably argue against it if she wanted to institute, maintenance spankings. And, we don't do erotic spankings. For me, I just don't think it would work mixing spankng for discpline and spanking for fun. As for the fetish, if I have one it came about awfully late in life, since I never once thought about adult spankings until my late 30s, and then only as a tool for DD. But, you statement probably does hold true for a majority of men who ask for DD, since our past discussions have indicated that most of them did have a very stong and early interest in spanking.
DeleteI don't disagree that defiance is very serious, and I think the way you suggest dealing with it -- letting things settle and then giving him a punishment he will never forget -- seems a very appropriate way to handle it if it ever happens. We'll have to agree to disagree on whether the only way to handle a repeat offense is to end things entirely. The dynamic for each couple is different.
Wow.....a LOT of good stuff here already! And some interesting side-points too!
ReplyDeleteI think almost everyone who as tried "scheduled" maintenance has given it up after a time due to monotony. Us too. But, as stated, maintenance in the form of: preventive, reminder, or another......"reset", all work for us. "Resets" are those times I'm just not myself. I haven't really been bad. There's nothing to really address. Rosa isn't feeling the need to re-assert herself. It's just me. I just "need" a good spanking to either shake out the cobwebs, or eradicate a gloomy mood, or just to feel reconnected in a submissive way.
When this happens I am expected to just be honest about it. As long as there are no issues hanging about, Rosa will usually agree to 'reset' my "submissive meter" with a sincere, but not angry, spanking. Since she loves to spank for ANY reason, there is no hardship or burden in asking her for one. Often for her, these will be playful, though her execution isn't cutesy or watered-down. I end up genuinely spanked....which is what I need. Sometimes, if my 'need' is really strong, I will ask that she consider spanking on the level equivalent to a serious punishment. Over time she has realized what good this does, and finds some inner motivation to deal with any inner issues of her own, and deliver a very "un-fun" spanking.
On the side issue of compliance, I will say that it is very important to an FLR for the male to accept whatever fate his leader decrees. But, I am with Dan that nothing is 100%. On a very rare occasion a spanking could have very well endangered the entire relationship and i did protest and refuse.....at least in the heated moment. In each of these VERY rare cases, an agreement was eventually reached and the punishment given or dismissed depending on the resolution. But, keep in mind, these instances were VERY rare. With all of the punishments given to me by Rosa, these issues popped twice that I recall, and maybe with my memory there might have been a couple more.....but altogether less than five total.
I should also say, that we are a bit BDSM/Femdom as well as FLR/DD, so there are non-punitive times where Rosa just wants to spank me. Interestingly enough, I have no issue with this. It has only been the times where the spanking was FOR something that made me too emotionally reactive that any refusal ever occurred. It's funny because a 'play' spanking from Rosa hurts about the same sometimes. But for me it's not about the level of pain.....it's all about why I'm getting it.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeletePrior to his illness last year, I would give Shilo a maintenance spanking daily. I felt it was effective.
DeletePrior to his illness last year, I would give Shilo a maintenance spanking daily. I felt it was effective.
DeleteYears back and when I needed of a good straightening out, I was punished two sometimes three times a month but getting older and wiser this slowly reduced. I worked out that with a bit of care in my behaviour I'd go a whole month without punishment and it became a challenge to see how far I stretch it out and this was fine because I was behaving as expected without the idignity and pain. The problems started if I went more than a couple of months without punishment because my behaviour didn't change but I lacked a certain je ne sais quoi especially in applying myself to tasks in hand and generally focusing on things. That's when we realised I'd developed a dependancy on discipline and suffer withdrawal symptoms when I go too long without it. Maintenance was the obvious answer and has worked for a few years now. I never know when it's due and I'm given little warning but I've not gone more than 6 weeks without discipline since we started. It's not a lighweight punishment either but the same full blown caning I get for misbehaviour.
ReplyDeleteDave
Is it a dependency on discipline or does the passage of time ( months) just lessen the memory of the pain and embarrassment and thus lessen the deterrence effect of getting spanked. In my experience three weeks seems to be the limits of the deterrence effects of a single spanking.I don't think I am alone there because others report getting spanked about every month or so especially in the early stages of a relationship. That may be why some believe spanking doesn't work. I think they do work but they must be regular to really change behavior permanently. Maybe that where the idea of maintenance spanking comes from. Just my thoughts
ReplyDeleteTed
Hi Ted,
DeleteThanks for your interest and comments.
The lessening of the memory and embarassment may be a factor but I think it is more likely to be a symptom with the dependancy iteself, more deep rooted and something I've yet to understand.
I am sure it's not because I want to be punished because I don't. I can just about cope with the indignity but the pain is something else. It's meant to hurt and leave weals that last for days and they do and I so positively hate it. In any case if I wanted to be caned I suppose I could have engineered my behaviour so that I was punished for it but I didn't and it didn't even occur to me in fact I work had at my behaviour and I'm proud of keeping the punishment down such that this year I've only been punished 3 times for behavioural issues and only 3 times for the whole of last year.
My problem was visible to others before I knew it I had a problem. Going for more than a couple of months with discipline my behaviour remained good but I'd become disinterested in every day stuff and my motivitation to get up and do stuff would go. It was if my get up and go had got up and gone which was strange because I am known for being a mover and shaker and for not staying still.
I can honestly say that since maintenance was put in place the problem has gone away. It might be that would have gone of its own accord and maintenance had nothing to do with it. I don't know. I suppose we could try stopping it and see what happens but I don't think that would get approval and probably rightly so and it could be like saying "yep, I stopped taking the medicine and the pain came back". Of course it might not come back but then again it could come back twice as bad.
Some may find they need regular maintenance but it doesn't work for us. Instead we both need me to be committed, responsive and compliant to discipline and that cannot happen if we timetable it. For all I know, tonight could be maintenance night.
If anyone can help me understand my problem/dependancy I'll be very grateful.
Dave
Hi Dave,
DeleteIt sounds like you might have some depression. Spanking can help that by literally getting our ass moving. If you partner is comfortable with it just continue your practice and don't worry if it's dependency or not.In one sense every spanked husband is dependent on spanking because he won't or can't behave without it. I understand what you are saying about the pain but that's what makes spankings work for most of us. Also if you are only getting punished three times a year someone, either your wife or you or both of you are doing something right.My advice is accept that you need spanked regularly ( you are not alone) and let it work its magic without worrying too much about why you need it.
Ted.
Thanks Ted and I do. Your comment about me having some form of depression because as I recall at the time, at I'd feel quite relaxed and laid back rather than depressed and it was only after a few weeks of this that the difficulties on focusing on stuff hit me. Now it's not a problem and hasn't been for a few years. I'm told when maintenance is due and I just make sure I'm where I need to be, when I need to be and as ready as I can ever be so that like any well maintaned machine, I work at optimum.
DeleteDave
My husband has never defied me about discipline so I have never had to deal with the problem. He is very easy to control when his pants are down and I make sure to do that early in any correction I give him even if I am not planning to spank. If it happened he would probably be sleeping on the couch for several weeks while he worked his way back into my good graces I would make him beg for a spanking for rebelling and maybe spank him in front of my sister who already knows that I spank him but hasn't been here when it happens. But I probably would not permanently end discipline.Our relationship thrives with it and I probably need to spank him as much as he needs spanked. I have been ratcheting up discipline as time goes on ( becoming more strict) and so rebellion is inevitable at some point. I just need to be prepared for it and know how I will handle it.
ReplyDeleteHolly.
Hi again Holly. That is a great attitude! If it helps, my wife has gotten MUCH harder on both the implements that she uses and how vigorously she uses them. It has defintley made the discipline much harder to take, but I also have not rebelled. But, I think it is a great idea to have a game plan for when and if it happens. I think it is wonderful that you recognize that if it happens, you can deal with it.
DeleteThanks for contributing!
Hi All,
ReplyDeleteI've been out of the loop for the last 3 weeks or so due to an intense work project. Dan, congrats on your 100th Edition - and it is really gratifying to see so much honest discussion going on - and with the disciplinary wives involved as well.
I've posted on more than one occasion that my wife administers a weekly maintenance spanking in our home, and has been doing so for a dozen years or so now. Certainly the novelty may have worn off, but we do not find it any more monotonous than we do having sex a couple of times a week after even more years - but, of course, that does not mean that it is the best thing for all couples. Like sex, it is meaningful for both of us. I have the "good fortune' to have a wife who honestly enjoys putting the paddle to my bare bottom, and it meets that strange psychological need that many of us disciplined husbands seem to have.
We both believe that it helps maintain and reinforce the "aura of feminine authority" in the household. Also - and this is the advice that I would give to couples new to the DW lifestyle (that was a recent topic) - it maintains the consistency of the spanking habit, and for that reason I think it would be a good practice for many DW couples, though obviously not all. From hanging out on forums like this for too many years (before and after my own real life adventure began), I have the impression than many couples give it a try and then it tapers off or becomes sporadic due a lack of consistency. After a while of no spanking, it becomes awkward again - as it was in the beginning for most. This can even happen because the spanking regimen was effective in correcting the husband's bad habits. Eventually his habits and behavior improve and he seldom earns a spanking - perhaps it becomes weeks or months, and then it becomes awkward again. And this may be ok for some couples if correcting bad behavior and bad habits is the only objective - although if the bad habits resurface and spanking has tapered off, once again there is the issue of awkwardness (and I know this does not apply to all - some can spank once a year with no problem, but for many it is truly awkward to have long periods in between). But I suspect that for many of us, the DW lifestyle is more than just about correcting habits and behaviors, but also about meeting emotional and psychological meets for both the husband and wife. And thus the maintenance spanking meets that need even if a spanking has not been earned (and also prevents the husband from purposely misbehaving to earn a spanking that he desires). And in the event a spanking has been earned, there is no awkwardness at all involved in the wife administering a punishment spanking - because spanking is a regular habit in the household - he just gets a more severe one for punishment. And, to repeat, in the event the point was lost in all the elaboration - our advice to new DW couples - consistency, through maintenance spankings or whatever works best for you. Also, right up there with consistency - is communication (also addressed in a recent topic) - and that may be awkward, especially in the beginning. We set up anonymous email accounts for each of us just for the purpose of communicating about spanking as we worked our way into this lifestyle. Opinions vary, but feedback for us was not topping from the bottom. -- al
Hi Al. Lots of good stuff in this. Everyone who reads this Forum knows how I feel about "topping from below," namely that while it may have application to a Femdom relationship, to the extent it has any relevance to a DD relationship it is usually a negative factor that providies a negative incentive for couple communications. Sorry for those who lean that way, but I absolutely agree that communication is not topping from below. Your point about awkwardness from lack of regular spanking is well taken. Hope you're doing well.
DeleteDan
Just another thought on the subject - early on my wife and I read an article on the Elise Sutton page (female domination and superiority - more extreme than the DWC style lifestyle. She read it looking for ideas - some of which worked their way in - while more did not). This article talked about the wife administering "discipline" spankings on a regular basis just to remind him of her female authority - and then applying a more severe "punishment" spanking for misbehavior. -- Nothing really new there, and of course not all would agree, but the article was helpful for both of us drawing this distinction as we worked out our own lifestyle. -al
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting thread and only goes to show that 'one size doesn't fit all' and right is what works for you.
ReplyDeleteI get maintenance but not regularly and the thinking behind this is that if I knew it was say, Friday evenings, I'd be able to plan and even find ways of avoiding it (as if) so instead I'm usually advised on the day and usually before I set off for work. This way, she has all the control and I've none. My commitment and willingness to reprioritise is tested occasionally by having maintenenace arranged when I've something else planned but in fairness it doesn't happen very often and never when I've something important. If anything it's my regular Thursday night out with the lads that falls occasional casualty to it.
I'm told it's almost impossible to regulate the intensity of a cane stroke so no matter if they're punishment or maintenance they're always the same intensity but if it's for maintenance then I only get the basic caning which is the minimum set number of strokes but for punishment caning it's a basic caning plus some more.
We never mix the intimate side of our relationship with discipline so she never wears anything alluring, inappropriate touching either way is not allowed except for a mutual hug after a caning and woe betide me if I show any signs of arousal which I can't ever recall happening because I'm usually too anxious about what I've got coming. It sounds harder than it is but my partner has this an ego who we address by her normally unused middle name and who dresses simply and formally and conducts the discipline formally. This was her idea to keep her role as disciplinarian separate from everything else and it took some getting used to I can tell you but now it really works now and I sort of get two for the price of one.
We've a policy of not taking a problem to bed or having long periods of not talking (hushes we call them) so punishment is something that has to be dealt with on the day and before bedtime. It's usually straight after dinner and we've cleared away so we can discuss it in a calm and adult way and then get it over and done with. We use our spare room for all discipline so that our bedroom is reserved for what couples do in bedrooms and that's good with me.
Neither of us want me submissive but we do want me to have standards to work to, be responsive to instructions and for me to have an authority that I respect and am committed to and that works for both of us.
Dave
Hi Dave. I agree with Alan. The unused middle name is an interesting option.
DeleteAlan, Dave, It's all about needing her alter ego to actually inflict pain and hurt me.
DeleteDave
I like the idea of an unused middle name. It seems like it would set a tone for serious discipline . The spare bedroom idea is also wise and we have used it for years. Being punished in the marital bedroom sends the wrong message unless you mix spanking and intimacy. Originally ( very early) we did sometimes mix it making sex aftercare. But she stopped that some time ago.
ReplyDeleteAlan
Hi Alan, No we never mix sex with discipline either. Not even as a sweetner after it. It's not that we don't have a very healthy sex life because we do but we don't want to undermine discipline either and it all ties together. She'd never hurt anyone physically and least me which is why her alter ego has to administer the punishment.
DeleteDave
Hi Dan
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you are an exception or not; maybe it makes me one too. I never knew I wanted to be spanked until I was in my late 20's or early 30's I has taken over 20 years to be able to articulate my desire to submit to my wife in our domestic life and to convince her that not only did I have a desire to be spanked but at some level an underlying need to be spanked.
As for maintenance spankings, I get one almost every day.and they make a tremendous difference in my attitude overall. My wife and I both feel closer after she spanks me and I feel ready to face the day. She is learning to accept the authority in our marriage and act accordingly. In our life it was me exploring and sharing some domestic discipline websites that actually broke the ice, but the spankings really came before any real power exchange, and I really see it more a Femdom relationship than what I understand a domestic discipline is. We have no set rules or anything like that, I have given her authority over me and accept any punishment she sees fit to dish out.
I don't know if it is fetish, or just my submissive nature coming out, but I function much better getting a spanking every morning before going to work.
~J
HI J. Thanks for joining in the conversation. It is complicated stuff, but it sounds like regardless of hte underlying motivation, you have found something that works for you.
ReplyDeleteHi Dan. Sorry for my late response. We do maintenance discipline sessions every other Sunday. In order to keep them from becoming formulaic my Mistress has decided that I keep a daily behavior journal in which I reflect on my behavior on the previous day. Doing this has made me notice the small ways I gave disobeyed her or have not supported her as I should. Then on our disciplinary Sundays I am made to stand or kneel silently in the bedroom corner while she studies my journal and decides what level of maintenance she needs to apply. Keeping the daily journal has really made our maintenance sessions meaningful and worthwhile. My. Behavior has truly improved since my Mistress has made this a requirement in our FLR.
ReplyDeleteTR