Age and F/m Disciplinary Spankings (Club Meeting - 554)

“Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.” - Tom Stoppard

 

Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Wives Club - Tribute.  Our weekly on-line gathering of women and men who are int, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship of the type advocated in the now defunct Disciplinary Wives Club (archived copy in the Links I Like list below right).

 

I hope you all had a good week. Mine was . . . the same as the week before . . . painful and mostly immobile.  I’m trying to keep an “it is what it is” attitude, but it’s not always easy.  The big challenge is the mobility.  When I’ve had major ortho surgeries in the past, I was always able to find ways to drive within days of the surgery.  This time, it’s likely to be a full six weeks before that’s even theoretically possible.  The only time I’ve been confined to one space for a significant amount of time was when I got quarantined in a foreign country during Covid.  This has a similar feel, but at 5x the duration. Sigh. 

 

Given both the nature of the injury and my current immobility, my ability to get myself in trouble is pretty limited.  Yet, I may be racking up a list to be dealt with later.  There was a problem with an errand Anne ran for me yesterday, and it arguably was a result of some minor carelessness on my part. Her response, though a bit tongue in check, shows our dynamic remains top of her mind, which is generally good.

 

 

Given that DD isn’t a practical possibility for us right now, my motivation for writing about DD topics is pretty low.  But, I did come across something recently that might generate a few thoughtful comments.

 

Many of us accept, based on our own experiences and our anecdotal knowledge of others in the lifestyle, that there is something about real Domestic Discipline that causes its participants to tilt toward the middle to far end of the age spectrum. 

 

Way back in 2014, early in this blog’s history and back when Blogger had a “polling” tool, I did a survey on the age of the blog’s participants, with these results:

 

21 – 30                 7%

30 -40                   4%

40 – 5                   16%

50+                       71%

 

So, at that time, almost 3/4 of our little community were 50 or older, though I personally was not at that time.  Those results were consistent with information from The Disciplinary Wives Club.  In response to a question regarding the age of those taking a DWC survey in 2007 and 2008, the results were:

 

Unfortunately, they didn’t ask (unless I overlooked it), how old the survey takers were when they had their first DWC relationship. They did, however, ask the men what age they were when they first realized they had need/desire for discipline:

 

Although it does confirm what many here would verify about themselves—that their DD interest started early in life while an actual DD relationship may have come later—I’m not wild about this survey question, because it’s worded in terms of when the participant first realized they had a need or desire for “discipline”, which may or may not have been equated in the survey taker’s mind with a need/desire for “spanking”.  Many here have expressed that they experienced a desire for, or fascination with, spanking at a very early age (puberty or earlier), but that equating that with a desire for discipline came later.

 

And, interestingly, the survey didn’t ask at all about when the women participants first realized they had an interest in spanking or discipline!

 

Yet, for all the limitations in these surveys, it has seemed reasonable to conclude that for many (me not included), a generalized spanking interest may arise early but real DD relationships tend to happen much later in life. 

 

In fact, it's ironic and unfortunate that we seem to not be capable of finding the kind of relationship we need during those younger periods when we probably most need it, while we seek it out after we've likely settled down a bit.

 

So, it was with some surprise that I came upon this much more recent survey in a different venue.  Reddit has a couple of groups focusing on Domestic Discipline. The most popular says it gets about 3.5k visits per week, which is about half of the traffic this blog got in the last week.  While Reddit doesn’t provide any sort of gender breakdown, based on the posts and comments, it seems to be overwhelmingly comprised of those in F/m dynamics, and most of the posters and commenters seem to be women, though a few male “tops” post and comment.

 

A few weeks ago, one of the participants polled the group for the participants’ ages, with these results: 

 

So, in this poll, the youngsters dominate, with the 25 to 30 age group seemingly making up the largest cohort, and with the 25 to 45 cohort comprising almost 55% of the total.  In contrast, the 45 to 65 cohorts make up only about 12% of the total. [Note: The graph has some anomalies. The age groups aren’t uniform, with some covering 10 years, one covering 5, and one covering 15.  And, the numbers reported don’t seem to correspond to the size of their respective bars. And, I don’t know what it means that the results are for “core contributors”.]

 

Now, I think one pretty simple explanation for why this Reddit survey shows greater DD participation/interest among younger Redditors than we experience on this blog and that the DWC seemingly attracted is that Redditors as a whole are relatively young.  Google reports that 18 to 29 year-olds make up perhaps 45% of the audience, while those over 50 account for only 10 to 15%. 

 

It would give me some hope that the lifestyle is proliferating among the younger age groups and not dying out as the original DWC participants move into their 60s but, as I said, the group dynamic seems to be overwhelming M/f. 

 

In any case, the Reddit results notwithstanding, do you think it is true that Domestic Discipline usually doesn’t kick off for most couples until they are in their forties or later?   

 

Why is the demographic of those interested in the topics addressed by this blog--primarily F/m domestic discipline--so heavily tilted toward those 50 and older?   

 

More disposable time that they use to surf the internet?   

 

More secure in themselves and more open to alternative lifestyles?   

 

Or, maybe you have to reach a certain age to fully feel the stress and strains that lead some hard-charging career men to seek out DD as an outlet? 

 

Or, is it more about the age of the spanker than the spankee?  

 

Could it be not so much that men reach a certain age and find they want DD but, rather, that our partners generally must reach a certain age before we feel comfortable telling them about our proclivities?  

 

 

Maybe they have to reach a certain age before either (a) they are comfortable with doing it; or (b) we are comfortable with asking them?

 

If it’s been true that those in DD lifestyles trended older, do you think it’s changing? 

 

I will note that the two women I’ve gotten to know through blogging about this stuff (one a “top” and one a “bottom”) seem to have been in their early 30s when they got started.  

 

 If people’s interest and/or discipline starts early but DD relationships don’t start until much later, why do you think that is?  Is it a matter of not having the courage or sense of security to ask for it until we hit middle-age? It certainly seems that even among those men who realize their spanking interest in high school or college (or earlier) very few manage to get themselves into real disciplinary relationships until much later. 

Or, is it more about self-awareness, i.e. most don’t realize until later in life that their spanking interest is more about a desire for real discipline and/or for female authority?  

 

Let’s also update those DWC survey results a bit with some personal anecdotal information, including:

 

·      How old were you when you first became interested in spanking in general?

·      How old were you when you first realized your spanking interest was about wanting real disciplinary spankings or was about wanting spanking as a part of being subject to female authority?

·      How old were you when you received your first adult spanking?

·      How old were you when you received your first adult disciplinary spanking?

·      How old were you when your first real disciplinary relationship began or when your vanilla relationship first turned disciplinary?

·      How old are you now? How old is your spouse?

 

For our female participants, just take the above and change up the answers to reflect your own spanking/disciplinary spanking interest and experience.

 

Have a great week.