I've said that I'm usually very into Christmas but this year I've had a hard time getting into it. But, our family began getting together last night, and this morning I woke up to gently falling snow. It's putting me in the mood.
I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and a happy new year.
See you all in 2024.
This blog is a curated resource for those genuinely and positively interested in DD and FLR lifestyles. Comments that are rude, uncivil, inconsistent with the blog's theme or off-topic may not be posted or may be removed. Please use a name or initials (doesn't have to be your real one) when commenting - it helps commenters keep track of who is "talking."
Thanks for another year of keeping this wonderful site going, and sharing the joy of real domestic discipline. It is truly a unique gift you give all of us into F/M spanking to be able to discuss it in a serious and mature manner. DD has helped me improve my behavior and my relationship in many ways, and has probably helped hundreds of other couples as well. So, Dan, thank you, and Merry Christmas.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Norton. I hope you had a very Merry Christmas.
DeleteI second that. The value of finding this site and engaging in conversation with like minded others cannot be overstated. So I also thank you for maintaining it and wish you a very merry Christmas. And I’ve just come in from a session with the snow blower after an unseasonably warm week. TG
ReplyDeleteThank you, TG. I hope you too had a very merry Christmas. Our Christmas technically was a white one, but not enough to justify getting out the snow blower.
DeleteAdd me to the chorus of folks wishing you, Dan, a very Merry Christmas and a great New Year. This site is wonderful and all of us do hope it continues. Today, like many of us I would imagine, will be getting my traditional Christmas Day spanking.
ReplyDeleteThank you, SC. I hope you had a Merry Christmas, other than the Christmas Day spanking. There were several in my house who needed one way more than me.
DeleteSeasons beatings. JR
ReplyDeleteThanks, JR!
DeleteHappy New Year! And thank you Dan, for providing this forum. I appreciate all the effort you put into it.
ReplyDeleteKevin
Thank you, Kevin! I hope you too have a Happy New Year!
DeleteMerry Christmas, Dan, and a very happy New Year.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Hermione
Merry Christmas, Hermione! Thanks so much for dropping by. I hope you had merry Christmas. I wish you and yours, and all those who follow your blog, a happy and prosperous 2024!
DeleteDan,
ReplyDeleteI add my voice to the chorus of appreciators. Yours is the only site I have found where the discussions are so thought-provoking. I have deepened my understanding of DD as practiced in my marriage. For that I am grateful.
KOJ
Thank you KOJ, and thank you for all your great participation this past year.
DeleteMerry Christmas and best wishes for 2024.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're getting your Mojo back..as I'm sure Anne is too !
Thanks, Glen! Merry Christmas and happy New years to you too.
DeleteI’m late with Merry Christmas, but at least I can wish everyone a Happy New Year.
ReplyDeleteDan, I would also like to second everyone who thanked you for running such a useful blog on the topic of F/M DD.
I also have a suggestion for a possible future topic arising from last week’s discussion. There was some discussion of the possibility of house guests spotting spanking implements like large hairbrushes with no hair in the bristles and possibly drawing conclusions. Spanked Cowboy said that in his case the person would not have to draw conclusions because his wife keeps an actual spanking paddle hanging on the wall, and a smaller one in her purse, and there would be no doubt about their purpose. I wanted to ask Spanked Cowboy whether that open display of a spanking paddle means that their family and friends all know his wife spanks him, but I was late getting to it. That suggested to me a possible “what if” topic for everyone. What if guests, whether family or friends, came to your house and spotted a spanking paddle, either displayed on purpose or left out accidentally. What conclusions do you suppose they would draw based on their familiarity with you and your wife? Would they they conclude it was just a kinky toy, or would they surmise it was for serious DD? Also, if they guessed that it was for real DD, would they know whether you or your wife was the one who gets spanked, based on public aspects of your relationship? Just an idea.
Forgot to sign. This is GH.
DeleteThanks, GH. I will use that one in the near future, though probably not the first one for 2024.
DeleteGH wrote: "Also, if they guessed that it was for real DD, would they know whether you or your wife was the one who gets spanked"
DeleteAlmost certainly they would guess it was her, despite the fact that she is very assertive,confident and has a very successful career managing large numbers of people.
And that they would, points to the huge reality gap between what women actually do or can do --and what our patriarchy obsessed culture expects. This cultural " fairy tale" probably also contributes to the relatively low percentage of males who actually seek female led DD, as opposed to the apparently enormous numbers who fantasize about female led DD
Alan
GH. I too am late responding to you. Some of our friends know of our lifestyle and have accepted it, others do not know. None of my family knows for sure, but I think one brother has an idea. All her family knows, some have witnessed and her late sister-in-law actually spanked me herself. We do not broadcast our FLR but if anyone, family or friends, should 'discover' it, I do my best to explain the benefits of an FLR and DD living. I am a spanked male submissive and not ashamed of it.
DeleteHAPPY NEW YEAR to all.
Hi GH,
DeleteGreat topic idea. I love the interesting angle on it of including what people may perceive about your relationship.
-ZM
Happy New Year. Cheers GLM (having issues with his Google Account sign in on here).
ReplyDeleteSame to you!
DeleteI don’t know why everyone is raving about this blog. Almost every time I tell my wife about something I read on the blog; I get spanked. What’s going on there???
ReplyDeleteAlan
It's continuing existence IS kind of a mixed bag, isn't it?
DeleteEasy for you to say: do you have any idea how many warmed bottoms you have been responsible for?
DeleteWhile I would love to be able to say "a lot", I suspect--sadly--that the answer is closer to zero. In a decade of blogging, I'm not sure we've had a single commenter who said they were inspired to try DD via discovery of this blog. Alas, I seem to be someone that people find after discovering DD first on their own or by some other means.
DeleteI suspect this is true. However, there is reason to believe that at least some women do read the blog (without commenting) and if so, learn a lot about DD.
DeletePs-- love the Santa pic you used this week. I actually put it on my desktop for the rest of the season
Alan
Dan, I was inspired to try DD because of this blog, so, Iam probably not the only one. I used to think I just enjoyed the idea of F/M spanking, and loved the DWC.
DeleteHowever, that mostly had a lot of info about guys being spanked by their wives, without all the stuff that actually goes along with that in real life. Alan, when your wife learns about something you shared with her on the blog and you get spanked, are you bragging or complaining? It would seem that most of us realize we need and ultimately desire, consistent spanking. We may not want it in the moment, but we will soon enough.
Norton said: "Alan, when your wife learns about something you shared with her on the blog and you get spanked, are you bragging or complaining? "
DeleteYES!
Alan
One possible topic could address the type of decisions where your wife or girlfriend uses her DD-enforced authority vs. then the type of decisions where she intentionally does not impose her will. My wife made 99% of the decisions of daily life and had no problem convincing me she was right with the paddle. But any significant decision -- a new car, a vacation, parenting, major purchases (not to mention really big ones like a new house) were made as equals and completely outside DD. The only time DD came into one of those discussions is if I got rude or sarcastic. Then I got spanked -- but that did not figure in the actual decision under consideration. We kep talking until we figured it out. Whereas if it was whether to do the dishes now or later, her paddle ruled. How about you?
ReplyDeleteKOJ
Alan, I liked your answer. I usually read parts of the blog during our check in, as there are almost always things that are relevant to us. She is not interested enough to read the blog herself, but she is interested in what I want to share with her. It's interesting to hear how others practice DD, and sometimes we get some insight or new ideas. R.e. KOJ's question about making big decisions, we are both completely equal. I love being in a real DD relationship, and have come to realize that while I still obsess about being spanked, what I really want is to submit to her authority, and the spanking flows from that. There are some things about an FLR that are attractive, but is isn't a lifestyle either of us want. We are both very
Deleteindependent, and have separate money, houses, friends and interests. Most of the things I get spanked for are relatively small offenses, like leaving the toilet seat up, not turning off the burner, or leaving my cell on during a meal. Recently, I requested she spank me soon after the offense, regardless of how I feel at the time. I will get a more serious spanking for what she considers to be reckless driving, going over my drinking limit, or not listening to her. We have talked about living together, and would save money by doing so. However, the lifestyle we are living now is very easy, and makes us think "it it ain't broke, don't fix it"
This resonates with my experience, too, and it strikes me as something to take notice of in female-led DD. In theory, the authority we give to our wives would allow them to make those really big decisions and to enforce those decisions with discipline if we resist it.
DeleteBut in actual practice, KOJ’s description depicts how it actually plays out. I do wonder if this is not a characteristic of alpha males in a DD relationship -wherein beta males in DD might cede much of the major decision-making as well
Not to put too much of a point on it, but I have begun to strongly suspect that this blog attracts mostly alpha males who need DD. However, there is a whole separate category of males in DDs or FLRs, and the decision-making in these relationships may be much more dominated by females.
Alan
Alan said: "Not to put too much of a point on it, but I have begun to strongly suspect that this blog attracts mostly alpha males who need DD." It's certainly possible, though I also wonder whether it attracts a broader universe, but it's the "alphas" who tend to actually participate while the more "submissive" visitors tend to stay as lurkers. When I first started the blog, I kind of assumed that most of the men in these relationships were alphas in their daily life who were attracted to DD because it allowed them to give up some of the control and dominance they exercised in daily life. In other words, I was projecting my own dynamic! I was surprised, but probably shouldn't have been, when I ran a poll (back when Blogger had a polling feature) asking men to identify whether they liked leading or following in their non-DD daily life, and it was split about 50-50.
DeleteI would have never been ok with my wife making the big decisions unilaterally. If she had said without any discussion, "We are putting our house up for sale and downsizing," I would have replied, "Not without a long discussion." If she had said, "Go get the paddle and I'll convince you," I would have brought the paddle and submitted to the spanking -- but would not have given in on the decision, no matter how hard or long she spanked. Fortunately she would never have done anything like that.
DeleteKOJ
In my career, I was a leader and a follower. I was an award-winning journalist who was allowed to work mostly independently, setting my own story agenda. I was a role model for what others in my organization aspired to. But I wanted no part of supervising others. I wanted to be a frontline worker, not management. And I mostly followed management's decisions.
DeleteKOJ
And I realize I am pretty much an alpha with men but a beta with women. With male friends and colleagues, I am often the one who suggests ideas and lobbies for them. But I am quieter around women, especially 1-on-1, and I seldom go against what a woman asks (or tells) me to do. This is the result of 20 years of training by my wife.
DeleteKOJ
It does seem like there's a topic here ...
KOJ:
Delete(1) We too make most big decisions together, and neither of us want it any other way. I think that non-DD decision-making is probably the key differentiator between mere DD and an FLR. I have a female friend who is in a relationship that includes both but definitely is further along the FLR spectrum than mine. A couple of years ago, she and her husband had a big decision around moving out of the country for a job opportunity. She told me that while they *did* have several of long conversations about it, her position was that, at the end of the day, she was going to make the decision and he "didn't really have a choice." That wouldn't work for me though, on the other hand, I'm not sure what the real alternative is when couples hit a true impasse. In the old days, the man won. Today, maybe it's something more objective, like the spouse making the most money wins on job-related issues? But, in the end, while her approach may sound cold or hard (a) that was how that had assigned decision-making responsibility; and (c) most couple do have some kind of hierarchy for making difficult decisions, or they hit a point of real impasse and, what, split up? This same woman once told me, "Let's face it, truly equal relationships seldom exist and probably wouldn't work well anyway." I really can't argue with her.
(2) I ended up having management positions, including some pretty big ones, but it was the participation in strategy setting that I liked about the high-level positions. I never liked the "bossing" people around part of being a manager and, like you, I always liked the "hands on" aspects of my profession. Unlike you, I was a contrarian to my core and could always be counted on to argue loudly against any management policy I didn't agree with.
(3) I wouldn't say I am a "beta" with women, but I do think I was better at taking direction from female superiors. With men, it tended to become a pissing contest. I did have a lot of problems deferring to one female manager, but she was a very tough personality and also a former peer. It was a very difficult relationship, though we somehow remained friends through many years.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all who read this, whether regular readers or commentors or occasional visitors. I am hoping 2024 will have more opportunity for me to again be actively involved in the blog again. Here's to hoping!
ReplyDelete-ZM
Definitely hope to see much more of you in 2024, though I also get why this can't be a big priority for you right now. Happy New Year, and I wish you and your wife a less stressful and very prosperous 2024.
DeleteHope you had a great Christmas and I wish you a Happy New Year! Thank you for your blog. Mike
ReplyDeleteSame to you, Mike. Thank you for participating.
Delete