“Karma is a tricky thing. To serve karma, one must repay good karma to others. To serve Karma well, one must sometimes deliver bad karma where it is due.” ― R. Mathias
Hello all. Welcome back to the Disciplinary Couple’s Club. Our weekly gathering of men and women who are, or would like to be, in a Domestic Discipline relationship.
I hope you all had a great week. Ours was relatively sedate, with one germane exception that I’ll talk about below. Much of it was spent indoors, as we’re having one of those cold, wet springs. Which I guess is OK, since it helps break drought conditions in some parts of the country but, from a purely selfish perspective, it delays the real start of motorcycle and hiking season in our part of the country.
Now, onto that germane exception that leads to this week’s topic. Last week, we talked about journaling and self-reporting. Although I’m often guilty of chickening out of my own best-laid plans around reporting, and although I’m usually of the opinion that “a spanking delayed is a spanking denied” is a good thing to aim for when you're on the receiving end, this time I gritted my teeth and gave Anne a journal entry that reminded her of the bad behavior that happened while her arm was out of action and while we were dealing with Covid. I suggested that she now deal with it, the lengthy delay between offense and punishment notwithstanding.
She did so, enthusiastically, and the result was a sore bottom that stayed that way for several days, perhaps because it has been almost two months since my last disciplinary spanking.
My throbbing butt kept the notion of “severity” front and center, but I had been thinking about the issue anyway. Therefore, I wanted to get the views of the group regarding this question: How hard is hard?”
To some extent, it was on my mind because of some of the answers to last week’s topic regarding reporting. There seemed to be some correlation between our various approaches to reporting and the severity of the spankings we receive. Some are very into making sure that no bad deed goes unpunished, but it seems like that approach is more prevalent among those who have admitted at one time or another that their spankings are not as hard as those described by others here.
Conversely, among those who say they get very hard spankings, few seem to be rushing to self-report offenses or to put in place other processes that might result in getting spanked more often.
In other words, isn’t it common sense to conclude that it’s probably easier to self-report if your spankings are relatively bearable?
It's also true that some in our group are seemingly receiving very hard spankings. Here are a couple of recent comments from T. The one about having a “swollen" rear end resonated with me, since my own butt gets pretty swollen from Anne’s spankings.
“It was reassuring to finally find someone who was willing to spank the living daylights out of you when needed.” – T.
“Well, as I am writing this my rear end is sore and swollen. My wife followed through on her promise to beat my already sore butt. I was hoping she would forget or not follow through. She had a wonderful dinner with her friend and then immediately ordered me upstairs. It’s the first time I’ve ever been spanked two days in a row. It was not pleasant by any means.” – T
Perhaps paradoxically, many of us have been inspired to seek out a DD relationship based on descriptions of harsh punishments, or the after-effects of such punishments, in sources like the Disciplinary Wives Club. And, there have been no shortage of such descriptions here on this blog. For example, there was this from the recent post entitled “A Commenter’s Advice on Giving a Real Disciplinary Spanking:”
By the time you are finished, his bottom will probably look horrible and will be swollen and have some bruises.
And, here are a few from the DWC:
Some of the physical punishments described are meant to be painful. There is no question that welts will be raised and bottoms bruised, but chastisement should never leave permanent marks.
A dose of corporal punishment should have a dual effect. It should be extremely painful while it is being applied, and the area it was applied to should remain very tender for a period of time afterwards.
If you give a spanking the way it should be given, the results should still show a week later. He should wince every time he tries to sit for days after.
When handling discipline issues be firm but fair, strict, demanding, aloof and unyielding. Don’t be afraid to degrade and humiliate, and above all, when that bare bottom is turned upside down across your knee waiting for the paddle or hairbrush, don’t disappoint him. When you let him up, his eyes should be wet with tears, his knees should be quivering, and it should be obvious by looking at his bottom that he is displaying the marks left after a GOOD session.
Then there was this, from an entry entitled “How I am Spanked” in the “Real People” section of the DWC website [more on that website’s status, below]. It describes what I would consider a very hard, multi-part spanking, and its after-effects:
“My last spanking, on Wednesday, was intended to be very severe, because it was something for which I have been badly spanked several times. She decided that I would get 100 with our frat paddle, 200 with our wooden spoon, 300 with our small paddle with holes, and 400 with our bath brush. These were not done all together. [A detailed description of the spankings, broken up over the course of a day, follows.]
It is Friday. When I woke up on my back this morning, I was immediately aware of how much my bottom still hurts. There are bad bruises, particularly at the creases of both cheeks. There were little blisters where the holes of the paddle impacted. It will hurt to pull up my underwear for several days, as will sitting. Aunt Kay, your advice about how hard wives should spank is right on. If I wanted some little play spanking, I wouldn’t be bending over like I do. My wife has learned how to spank very hard, with little regard to either my crying or the appearance of my bottom.”
There is also no shortage of spanking memes and drawings that include threats of severe spankings. Many of us may have heard these as kids, or may still hear them today.
“I’m going to blister
your bottom.”
Or, the ever-popular,
“You won’t sit for a week.”
My question for you all this week is, how do your own spankings compare to the descriptions above? And, what condition is your bottom objectively in at the end of a hard session?
For my part, the severity of Anne’s average spanking is pretty comparable to those above, with the exception of the “How I am Spanked” story, which I view as exceptionally hard.
Further, in the early days of our DD exploration, my butt was left in a condition not at all dissimilar from what the How I am Spanked author describes. I usually was very bruised, swollen, and felt the effects for several days.
Today? Honestly, while the marking has changed dramatically, the rest of the after-effects that indicate a spanking was “hard enough” haven’t changed. I still get very swollen and experience soreness for several days.
However, I’m not sure whether
the arc of discomfort that I experience is typical, as I tend to get most sore two or three days after the spanking.
The following day, the pain level actually increased. That is fairly typical for me these days. Two or three days after a very hard spanking, instead of tapering off I feel an ache deep in my glutes.
On Thursday, the pain began to fade, though it still was significant.
On Friday, I no longer felt it when sitting or lying down, but I could still feel the soreness if I pressed in the right place.
Today, six days after the spanking, the pain is mostly, but not entirely, gone.
So, I still get plenty sore from a hard spanking. But, I barely mark at all anymore.
Well, that’s not quite true. My butt often displays a discolored pattern, kind of like this but lighter:
How about you? How do your spankings compare in severity to those described above? How about lasting marks? Does the degree of marking/bruising depend heavily on the instrument used?
On a different topic, I wanted to give a brief update on the status of the DWC website, since a few of you have asked me about it. The current website is unviewable, with weird vertical lines running across the page and with no actual content visible. I have no idea of the technical cause. I have pinged Aunt Kay’s husband about it, but he doesn’t have anything to do with maintaining the site. He did connect me with the former DWC husband who has been babysitting it, but I haven’t heard from him yet. It has been enough of a force in my life that I’m really hoping there is some way to preserve it. I’d be willing to help do that, though the help would have to be non-technical in nature, since I have no HTML coding skills and don’t have access to any of the embedded graphics and other files.
In the past, I wasn’t willing to provide any “knock-off” DWC website or blog with a referral link, but now that the original site is completely inaccessible, I am OK directing people to this Wordpress site where someone, several years ago, copied most of the DWC text content. One reason I’m fairly comfortable directing people to it is the anonymous owner seemingly hasn’t tried to profit off of it or exploit it, so I assume it was done by a fan who just wanted to make sure the content remained available.
Unfortunately, I don’t think it is 100% inclusive of the DWC stories, as I searched for the “How I am Spanked” story and couldn’t find it. But, I had copied it to a word processor file of my own some time ago, which is how I got the above-quoted portion.
FWIW, that story also led to an interesting (to me) experiment. At the beginning of the story, the author shared that he sometimes is spanked using a variation of the card game that appears in the DWC fiction story entitled A Learning Experience. Here is how that story describes the game:
· After shuffling the deck, the husband or wife draws a card. If it is a joker, he gets 10 swats with her sorority paddle. If it is any other card, that card became the “match” card. On each subsequent draw, he would hope to “match” by drawing the card of the same color and suit as the "match card," because that would end the game. Example: If he drew the 10 of hearts, the match card would be the 10 of diamonds.
· Working sequentially from the top of the deck, each time a card other than the match card or a joker is turned over, the husband gets a "penalty" of 2 swats with the hairbrush.
· If the next card turned over is a joker, he gets 10 with the sorority paddle.
· Each time a joker is drawn, after he gets 10 swats, it goes back in the deck and the full deck, other than the match card, is re-shuffled. So, basically, the game starts over but with the same match card.
· The game ends only when the match card is drawn.
The author of the How I am Spanked story describe his variation as follows:
When we use the cards, we follow the game found in the fiction story, A Learning Experience. In our version, I get the face value of each card that doesn’t match the target and 20 for each joker. In addition, if I match before drawing two jokers, we place the matched card back in the deck. Also, our deck has four jokers.
Honestly, the penalty from the original story—two swats with a hairbrush each time a non-matching card is drawn—just didn’t seem very intimidating, even cumulatively. I mean, how much pain is really going to be generated by two swats with a hairbrush with a significant pause after each set?
On the other hand, the variation from the How I am Spanked story—with 20 swats with the sorority paddle per joker, in a deck with four jokers—seemed over-the-top intimidating.
In light of my pondering the issue of "how hard is hard," I was curious how such a game might turn out. But, I wanted a slightly less over-the-top set of rules. So, on one of our recent rainy days when I was by myself, I got out a deck of cards and played 10 theoretical hands, using a variation in which the wife would deliver the face value of each non-match card with a hairbrush or bath brush, plus 10 swats with a paddle for each joker, with only two jokers in the deck.
Again, this was purely theoretical, just to see what could happen if Anne was ever to impose such a game.
The results were more variable than I anticipated. Somehow, on the first two rounds, I ended up matching the match card relatively quickly, resulting in theoretical spankings that would be way shorter and milder than those Anne typically delivers. But, it got bad—and in several instances very bad—on subsequent rounds. Here is how it played out.
Round 1: 37 with the brush + 0 with the paddle
Round 2: 59 with the brush + 0 with the paddle
Round 3: 109 with the brush + 10 with the paddle
Round 4: 132 with the brush + 10 with the paddle
Round 5: 344 with the brush + 40 with the paddle
Round 6: 303 with the brush + 40 with the paddle
Round 7: 351 with the brush + 0 with the paddle
Round 8: 387 with the brush + 40 with the paddle
Round 9: 485 with the brush + 50 with the paddle
Round 10: 171with the brush + 0 with the paddle
While I doubt we'll ever play the game in real life, I could see it being useful if the parties disagreed on the severity of spanking appropriate for a particular offense. Why not leave it to chance? Or, perhaps it's not chance but, rather, fate or karma?
Have a great week.
Dan
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic as usual , I seen the severity chart before it did give an idea . I am thinking about printing the chart and have my wife circle the shade she will be shooting for during the discipline session. She tends to end to soon to drive her point and of course while I'm on the receiving end I am relieved at the moment it stopped but afterwards I regret it stopped to soon. BTW Dan how many did you receive from Ann the other night.
JL
I really have no idea. I have never once succeeded in counting to the end of an OTK spanking with a bath brush or a long spanking with a series of implements. I start off almost involuntarily counting the swats in my head, but I never get to the end before my mind goes wandering off somewhere else.
DeleteMy wife assigns a number and most of the time she stops prior to hitting that number, I don't have the balls to tell her she didn't get to her stated number.
DeleteSorry I forgot to add JL to above post
DeleteDan,
ReplyDeleteMy bottom gets swollen and a darker shade of pink. I do not bruise very much. When my wife misses the target and it lands on the hips, I do get some bruising there. The so called wrap around effect. She probably used the strap over 200 times on me both days. I was swollen all night and the next morning it was painful to pull my underwear up. I definitely feel it for the better part of three days. It’s Tender to sit comfortably. As for the severity of the spanking, I want it to be on the severe end. This is where the lesson is learned. The second strapping the next day hurt horribly and I pleaded for it to stop. She did not and kept going. I actually communicated after the fact, that’s how she should thrash me all the time. This was probably foolish on my part, but going back to the DWC, it should be an event to remember. I encouraged my wife and told her I was proud of her for delivering the thrashing that I need to change my behavior. Communication has been key to our DD, even if it has bumps in the road.
T
"I actually communicated after the fact, that’s how she should thrash me all the time. This was probably foolish on my part, but going back to the DWC, it should be an event to remember."
DeleteI've had that happen so many times. We forget so quickly what a real spanking feels like, and for many of us, some part of our mental makeup wants it to be a real punishment.
The arc of pain over a few days that I've experienced multiple times recently suggests that spankings on back-to-back days doesn't really escalate the pain that much on day 2. Instead, if that is her goal, she probably should do it on day 3 or 4.
200 to 250 is probably in the range for a typical Anne spanking. Though, as I said to JL above, I've never really succeeded in counting to the end of one, so it's hard to say for sure.
200 to 250!? Yikes! I think I am out of my league here. But I can’t decide whether I should be jealous or grateful.
DeleteGH
My punishments are not as severe I think. The results definitely vary by implement used.
ReplyDeleteI would always be a 8 or 9 on the red bottom scale when she uses the strap. Probably somewhere between 50 & 100 strokes. I don't mind our strap too much. Next day I'm stiff and sore but coming right by the day after. I've never got to that bruised red 10.
With the paddle again somewhere over 50. Bottom goes very red then gets that large grey circle on the sit spot. Again sore the next day and coming right by the day after.
With the cane anywhere between 12 & 24. She doesn't count them unless she feels that it is good stroke so the number can be more than this. With the cane I am always stiff and sore for 3 or 4 days afterwards, particularly if a paddle was used first.
With the cane I feel that there is deep bruising but other than small spots I don't seem to bruise much anymore (certainly did when we first started).
In terms of lasting marks, only the cane provides these. I can always see the marks for the next couple of days, and occasionally much longer where there has been a severe wrap (this is very uncommon nowadays).
The can is obviously a very strong instrument for some. I don't get why it has just never been effective for us. Clearly some problem with Anne's technique, or she's holding back or something.
DeleteDo you have a rattan cane, something about 3/8" or 10mm? Or heavier? In NZ they are hard to come by and my experience is that bamboo is not the same. I'm sorry that they don't work for you. I'm scared of it but it leaves a nicely sore bottom for me.
DeleteI've bought a few over the years. Always rattan or synthetic. Not bamboo. I'm not sure of the thickness, but you are probably right in identifying that as a potential source of the problem
DeleteAnd it needs a really full hard swing through. Easier for a women to cane down onto you rather than horizontally like a school caning. Practice on a pillow is worthwhile... not that maybe you want your wife to be good at this. Mine probably still only achieves the level she wants with 70-80% of strokes.
DeleteMy wife went through an experimenting phase with various implements and positions other than OTK. This was I think in our third year of DD. She went implement shopping by herself. I think she enjoyed it. She bought a school paddle, strap, cane, crop and flogger, and she would surprise me with one when she called for a punishment. It was interesting and she used each enough to get fairly good with it, but within about 6 months we were back to OTK exclusively and her two go-to household implements. I was relieved. The cane was the worst!
DeleteI had pretty much forgotten about those implements until finding them while moving after her passing. I'm glad my daughter wasn't helping me that day; she had been the day before!
KOJ
KOJ, we went through a similar phase, though it lasted a very long time, and I initiated it. I hesitate to even think of how much $$ I've spent on various implements over the years, particularly expensive exotic wood paddles and leather straps. Yet, today, she's down to 2 "go to" implements, plus a couple of others that see use every once in a great while.
DeleteDan, have you been the buyer of all those implements, or has Anne also contributed to the collection? I occasionally see some item that would be perfect for spanking, and then I feel like I need to have it. Most recently I bought on impulse a beautiful bamboo bath brush, even though there’s not much spanking in our house these days. My wife has a range of spanking implements to choose from, but she has always preferred to use the same hairbrush, paddle, or strap. I think she views spanking implements in a purely utilitarian way and figures any one of the items in our collection could do the job. I would be thrilled if she occasionally added to the collection herself, but she doesn’t share my fetish for implements.
DeleteGH
I have bought all our implements with the single exception of one bath brush. But, that exception is the only purchase that really matters, since has become her go-to instrument, to the point that it is almost exclusive. She still uses the ebony hairbrush a bit, and a paddle or strap every once in a great while.
DeleteDan, I think it is great that your wife’s preferred implement is a bath brush she bought herself. I may be reading too much into it, but that suggests to me that she has really taken ownership of her role as disciplinarian. She has a large variety of implements at her disposal, all but one purchased by you, but she likes the one she bought herself. Maybe I think in an overly symbolic manner, but I would be really excited if my wife came home with a new spanking implement that she was looking forward to trying out.
DeleteGH
Quick comment re the second version of Aunt Kay's website having problems: Yes, the vertical, "movable" lines are indeed very strange. Some of the internal / lower-level pages are functioning correctly, but many are not.
ReplyDeleteDan, you are correct, in that the copycat Wordpress website is missing a great deal of original material. However, it does have a fair number of later comments and personal anecdotes regarding the Real Life experiences and Stories.
In the past, since Aunt Kay's original (V.1) website had content the second version (V.2) did not, I often use the Internet Archive to view the original site. The "entry page" addresses for those two versions on the internet archive are:
(V.1)
(V.2)
(These links will bring up the latest / most recent version of that entry page. Older versions of that page can be accessed with finer detail by using available Archive tools.)
Hope this info helps people in the future. People who wish to access those valuable resources, which may someday disappear from everywhere, except the Internet Archive.
It's interesting going back to some of the older archived versions, as some of the changes help me place with a little more specificity when I first found the DWC.
DeleteOop!
ReplyDeleteApparently Google does NOT like "diamond brackets" that designate links. Let's try again with any brackets . . .
"In the past, since Aunt Kay's original (V.1) website had content the second version (V.2) did not, I often use the Internet Archive to view the original site. The "entry page" addresses for those two versions on the internet archive are:
(V.1)
web.archive.org/web/2021/auntkaysdwc.com/
(V.2)
web.archive.org/web/2013/disciplinarywivesclub.com/abegin.htm
Thanks, Donn.
DeleteI got malware warnings for disciplinarywivesclub.com. They came from two different sources. I didn't open the page. On the topic of severity, my spankings are all butt-swelling, blisters, and some bleeding. It's my own fault. I encouraged my wife to make each punishment painful and memorable. For a while, she tried leather paddles that I got for her. No blood, but also I was able to go numb before she finished. She's back to wood now and I have the pictures to prove that she means business. (https://media.malechastityjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/2022-05-24-spanked-scaled.webp ). This was last spring. She stopped taking pictures since then. All I can say is that I feel the results of her efforts for at least three days afterward. I don't show bruising or get that red. Maybe that encourages her to try harder. I'm not complaining. Her efforts get results.
ReplyDeleteCL: Yes! Whoever took over Aunt Kay's original domain (disciplinarywivesclub.com) is not a legitimate, honest, reputable web-master. Best to avoid the "live" version of that website.
DeleteThe version on the Internet Archive, above, was "sampled" back in 2013, just before Aunt Kay lost her domain name and it was "grabbed up" by the scammers.
The Internet Archived site does not have any of those spam / security problems as the current "live" website.
The official website that was migrated to after someone grabbed up the original is at auntkaysdwc.com (the one that I have a link to here). The original (disciplinarywiveclub.com) has been up for sale for years. Last time I checked, it was listed for like $3,000, which is more than I'm willing to pay. At one point I put in a bid for a few hundred. It was ignored.
DeleteI'm usually from 5 to 9 but occasionally 10. I don't bruise easily, and even cane marks are gone within a day or two with appropriate aftercare. I go to the gym regularly, so I may miss a day after a 9 or 10. Graham
ReplyDelete"I go to the gym regularly, so I may miss a day after a 9 or 10." For me, it works the opposite -- I'm likely to skip a leg day if I know I have a spanking coming that evening.
DeleteI would say I’ve only experienced a three or four. I’d like it to be higher and think Dan’s right that I’ll continue to be eager to incriminate myself until the reality of receiving truly hard spanking sinks in. That said, there can be peace and comfort when you can trust your spouse to respond predictably and correctly to news.
ReplyDeleteThanks, MW.
DeleteMy experience of severity is limited to my (now assumed retired) visitations to UK based professional disciplinarians. I would say I have left those encounters usually with a bottom looking like vi up to ix. The graphic with the cane marks made he smile as I am reminded that early this year (before I retired when Mrs GL accepted my formalised suggestion) I had 18 perfectly placed lines across my bottom, "Miss" sent me the pic and then, with my permission, used it on Twitter (only I'd know it was me). Worst recovery time for bruising I have had is 2 weeks and that was when one of them came very close to crossing my tolerence line ,usually its 7 days. But beyond that I have found the pain was gone about 36-48 hours later and the colour faded after 3-5 days usually.
ReplyDeleteIn home terms Mrs GL can get to iv at a rare push but mostly iii. I am hoping to coux her up to v or vi but I suspect beyond that isn’t likely. There is something to be said, even in a disciplinary context in the sore bottom that throbs in a way that brings an inner peace but is gone by the morning. Yes, as I have referenced on here previously, I want my Mrs GL experience and my old secret visits levels to be nearer to each other but as I know, the level I get now at home is always going to be appreciated as better than nothing!
I know in my heart and soul that, health permitting, the harder and more severe spanking will come but I am not, in my head, in a race about who's bottom has been bruised/swollen/blistered hardest and if I wanted to remember pain I have none Mrs GL memories to fall back on.
Re DWC, yes such a shame to lose any resource that assists the growth of FLDD (at any reasoned spanking consequences level) and therefore, notwithstanding the importance of this blog, maybe "we" (defined as this community) should look to find a way to have the next/a new version (maybe more DW+SH in approach) that appeals to a new generation of couples? Just an idea (and yes I'd happily contribute on the assumption it wouldn't out me but my skills would be in content not technical). Cheers GLM.
Sorry, what is DW+SH?
DeleteDisciplinary Wives and Spanked Husbands....cheers GLM
DeleteIt seems my confidence in harder spankings to come was misplaced. Mrs GL has finally got around to laying down her side and (consistent with our relationship) is cheery picking the parts of the proposal she wants and jettisoning those she doesn't. In short she wants all the advantages of a female led decision making process, with expectations on my improving behaviour but will not indulge most of the chastisement elements. She has reinforced her position she will not punish me as I have suggested because she is adamant I will enjoy it and therefore it doesn't work as a punishment (basically ignored the missive I wrote suggesting that wasn't the case if she chastised harder and longer). Instead I have been told that I am on a maintenance cycle of every two weeks, with a timing element which can be shortened by a minute for every "punishable" offence. So I am to be punished by losing time over her knee.
DeleteIt is fair to say I am not the happiest about this knock-back. To be fair to Mrs GL she has indicated that the fortnightly timing will be double the time it used to be. She has also agreed to, over time, strive to make the hand spankings firmer. Finally there will be a "threat" in the wardrobe of the straight handed cane should I cross a very high bar line (the implication from Mrs GL is she doesn't expect to need to use it more than a couple of times a year). So even with those titbits we are going backwards from the kind of DD most of the readers and contributors here are getting and that is from my perspective a massive shame and a disappointment.
Still we are where we are and let's see over the summer whether the fortnightly does evolve or not. Something is better than nothing. Cheers GLM.
Happy Mothers Day to all the disciplinarian wives out there who keep us in line. I think we are all affected by the DWC in some way or another. Like Dan, I was blown away when I read the site while younger. The real section of stories captivated me in a way I can’t describe. I knew I needed that type of structure and punishment in my life and wondered how to get it. My ex had zero desire to punish me and was weirded out about it. When I met my wife, we dabbled in erotic spanking and I described my desire for severe punishment. I wanted consequences for my actions. This site provided the necessary tools for all women who wanted to affect change in their husbands. It not only fed the man’s needs, but described the benefits to the wives. Early on in our DD, I would use some of the quotes from Aunt Kay, in my texts to my wife. I would then encourage her after the punishment without topping from the bottom so to speak. The line make it and event to remember always stuck with me. Along with, remember you have a man across your lap. Don’t disappoint him, it’s what he needs. I know we have all greatly benefited from Aunt Kay and she is missed. It would of been great for that site to continue with stories and more real people throughout the years.
ReplyDeleteThe site was so ahead of its time.
T
"The real section of stories captivated me in a way I can’t describe. I knew I needed that type of structure and punishment in my life and wondered how to get it."
DeleteFor me, I think it was more the fiction stories at first, particularly al's Even More. But, over time, several of the Real People stories also burrowed their way into my brain. And, you're right, there were so many great lines in that Tips & Methods section. With the current website down, I may replace my Tips & Methods section with a (properly credited) reprint of the DWC Tips & Methods, with the permission of Aunt Kay's husband
My wife primarily used two OTK implements: an oversized hairbrush and a bath brush. The hairbrush would be used to a severity level of 6-7 on your chart. The bath brush 8-9 and sometimes 10.
ReplyDeleteShe spanked very fast, about 2 per second, so there was no counting and the spanking was over in a couple of minutes, with up to 250 smacks estimated. She raised her hand above her head and came down full force. She believed in imparting the "lesson" as quickly as possible unless special scolding was required.
My bottom did bruise, with the blood collecting in my crack for a very odd look. It was always swollen, and the pain would increase with the swelling on days 2-3. Within a week she would have a "clean slate," which she much preferred, for the next punishment.
KOJ
Yours sound almost identical to our current regime, other than the "spanked very fast." Anne tends to go in more slowly paced volleys. I honestly don't know which is more effective. On this most recent spanking, she went pretty quickly at first, with the bath brush, and I thought for a moment that I might be pretty close to tears.
DeleteI'm back to being skeptical of the ongoing role of the hairbrush for us. After trying it initially based on the DWC advice, we decided it wasn't very effective. Then, a few years ago, we gave it another try with a heavy ebony brush, and if used alone and with vigor, sometimes in seemed effective. But, lately, used in the same session with the bath brush, it's clear to me that it really is not that effective. It's not a joke by any means like some instrument I seem references to sometimes (ping pong paddles?), but it really does not, for us, deliver that "even to remember" that T. references.
My wife's brush was a squarish paddle shape but much thicker wood than the ones sold today, and with the bristles truly imbedded. I'm not even really sure it was a hairbrush, though that is what she called it. It maybe was a clothes brush. She never used it on her hair! It defintely got my attention, but for the worst offenses she went straight to the bath brush.
DeleteKOJ
Our hairbrush is one of those iconic ebony things, which based on the bristles, would be really, really lousy as an actual hair brush.
DeleteI never count. There are times she does and tell me afterward but it is not an every time occurrence. We do have a prescribed number of swats for each offense on our list but she has the authority to override the amount if she feels fit. As far as force, she can spank as hard as nearly anyone. Always erring on the side of caution, she usually stops and spanks a second or third time or everyday for a week, rather that to cause any harm with an extensive long and hard spanking.
ReplyDelete"We do have a prescribed number of swats for each offense on our list but she has the authority to override the amount if she feels fit."
DeleteWe started off with a system like that, but it was mostly for confidence building purposes. We dropped it once we were both pretty clear on how hard and long a real punishment session needed to be.
I’ve been rating all of Devs spankings for many years on a 1-10 scale. Most are in the 7 range depending on what she used. Her go to is the mahogany Spenser paddle. The one she gave last nite was mild and only a 3 with her hairbrush. The long handled bath brush really gets your attention. She’s not a fan of belts or straps but the last time was a 7.5. The hardest one given a few years ago was out in the “ woodshed “. She used a long handled tire brush. That one caused a lot of bruising and took several days to clear up. It really did hurt to sit and walk after that one. I rated it a 9. Severity depends on the infraction. Yesterday I annoyed her when she was on the phone. That one wasn’t too bad. On other occasions it was dreadful. JR.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'm familiar with a tire brush.
Delete"That one caused a lot of bruising and took several days to clear up. It really did hurt to sit and walk after that one. I rated it a 9." I don't think I'd want to experience what you would call a 10. :-)
The tire brush is basically a bigger bath brush. The head had an 8” diameter.
DeleteSpeaking of the DWC website, does anybody know where I can find the music that played? I have such fond memories of listening to that music when my wife and I started into spanking. I’d love to have that for our spanking sessions. Barrel
ReplyDeleteI wasn't aware it had music.
DeleteHi "Barrel" and Dan:
Delete"Barrel," inquired about the music that used to play on the Aunt Kay's DWC website.
I have downloaded a copy of that music from the Internet Archive, and sent that file to Dan's email address.
That original "music" was a synthetic/electronic "midi" composition that lasted 4m:38s. I don't know if it automatically "looped" on the website, but the composition itself is certainly long enough for 150-2500 strokes with a paddle/strap, or 12-24 slices with a cane.
It's possibly Dan may have a way of posting that file on this website, or alternatively sending it at as email attachments to any members who specifically emailed him and request that "*.midi" file.
-- Donn
Thanks, Donn. Unfortunately, I'm not aware of anyway to post it to this blog.
DeleteI discovered a second music track on the DWC website that I personally find much more appropriate and "soothing" than the first "electronic synthesizer" "techno" track.
DeleteUpon reconsideration, it might be easiest for any interested members to personally and directly download those two tracks from the Archive:
(1)
http://web.archive.org/web/2012disciplinarywivesclub.com/sounds/DWC_ff3cels3%5B1%5D.mid
(2)
web.archive.org/web/2007/www.disciplinarywivesclub.com/sounds/haveyouever1DWC.mid
Enjoy, -- Donn.
First link has a typo. It should be:
Delete(1)
http://web.archive.org/web/2012/www.disciplinarywivesclub.com/sounds/DWC_ff3cels3%5B1%5D.mid
My wife never would have gone for the card game. That would have been usurping her authority to decide how many. She spanked until she believed I got the message. That could be 50 or 250, and only she decided.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe the "real" story of 1,000 swats in a day, including 400 with a bath brush and 100 with a frat paddle. That's some guy's fantasy unless they were all love taps.
KOJ
.
I doubt mine would go for the card game either, though mainly because it can take forever to work through a full round.
DeleteWhile there is now way to know for sure, I do believe the spankings related it that story are at least possible. As I said in the post, it would be a *very* hard spanking and well outside our usual, but I don't wholly doubt it. There are people here who have talked about receiving two hard sessions on the same day or on back-to-back days. What the story describes is basically doubling that, which to me seems at least plausible.
We use a large egg timer (which sits on my bedside table. She will usually set it and then start with the strap or cane. Mostly I will endure one turn of the timer but the number of strokes and how hard there are can vary quite a lot. And she will often carry on past the end of the time 'just because' or turn it over for a second or even third time. each turn is just over three minutes. Now three minutes does not sound very long but she will sometimes be almost metronomic with her stroke rhythm. Like Dan, I have tried to count strokes but lose it after 30 or so. Suffice to say that I estimate that each turn of the timer could see between 100 - 150 strokes. How hard? I think that she has a 'standard' stroke and the 'hardness' variation comes from the speed of delivery i.e. number of strokes per minute, and whether they land on the same spot. One of her preferred methods is multiple strokes delivered quickly to the same spot. For me the pain / stinging peaks out at about 1 1/2 minutes (unless she hits a 'new' spot. Once the peak is reached then the spanking is bearable although her usual method is to swop implement half way and then a whole new pain sensation is started... There is nothing quite like the cane on well strapped buttocks!
ReplyDeleteOn a separate note she seems to prefer allowing a build up of offences before declaring that a 'reset' is due - this tends to occur every 7 - 10 days. I have often said to her that if she were able to respond to each specific behavior with a more immediate punishment that she would see better overall improved behavior. The vast majority of my spankings are for disrespect, sarcasm or moodiness. I really want to convince her to punish for specific behaviors rather than an accumulation but seem to be having little success. I'd be interested in others views... TB
"Now three minutes does not sound very long but she will sometimes be almost metronomic with her stroke rhythm."
DeleteI have rarely timed a session, but I think most of ours are probably around 5 to 6 minutes of actual spanking time. So, 3 doesn't sound unreasonably short to me.
"One of her preferred methods is multiple strokes delivered quickly to the same spot." I think that does ramp up the pain, at least until numbness sets in. I think it also increases the residual soreness.
"On a separate note she seems to prefer allowing a build up of offences before declaring that a 'reset' is due - this tends to occur every 7 - 10 days."
As a practical matter, that's how it seems to work for us, though often with a longer time between sessions. Though, I don't know whether it is a "preference" on her part, or just real life getting in the way.
A 3 minute non-stop spanking is one of the hardest things to endure. If you've not actually tried it, you will be surprised. It may be enough to bring some men to tears. Graham
DeleteMy wife always separated infractions, though she might address several consecutively. She didn't think it worked with them together in one punishment. "You were rude and you need to be punished." She would lecture and spank about a specific misbehavior. When she was quite sure I got the message, she might go on to another behavior, with little concern for the condition of my bottom. She would let me up to rub and dance, then say, "You also were rude to my sister, and you are going to apologize to her. Get back over." Very difficult when I thought my punishment was over! Followed by an embarrassing phone call to apologize!
DeleteKOJ
Was there a several minute break ( like corner time) between these spankings or did she run them all together until she was done?
DeleteAlan
Alan,
DeleteWe didn't do cornertime. Usually, a spanking for a second issue would follow quickly, after giving me a minute or so to rub my butt and calm down -- or time for her to finish scolding me about the first issue, which she often did with my pants down and butt blazing. She would usually ask if I had learned my lesson, and expected a heartfelt reply and thanks. Then she would start in scolding about issue 2!
Occasionally she would send me for a glass of wine or on some other errand without giving me permission to pull my pants up. I knew then as I shuffled along that I was in for more.
KOJ
KOJ,
DeleteThanks for describing how she dealt with more than one issue in a single session. My wife has not done that as you describe it, but I can understand how it could be very effective, especially if she trained you to move mentally and emotionally from one issue to another issue My wife doesn’t very often deal with more than one issue during a spanking, but it does happen when we are traveling, or for one reason or another she couldn’t spank earlier when she wanted to (like relatives at home). She started the corner time early in our DD after trying “intermissions, “which neither of us liked. She sometimes works from a log of my behavior or her own notes and likes to get her head around each issue before starting. I might mention your system to her or ask her to read about it because I like to get it over once she starts, and the corner time makes the whole experience longer and harder to process emotionally.
Alan
My wife was just so practically minded. She didn't care for corner time because it took too long. She spanked fast for the same reason. She wanted my behavior improved asap, and then move on. She was a busy woman, and she didn't intend to spend a lot of time "seeing" to me. A typical spanking was 5 minutes or less from the time she announced it, to me fetching an implement, pulling down my pants, being lectured, ordered over her knee, spanked, asked some questions to satisfy her that the lesson was learned, comforted if it was severe, given permission to pull my pants up, and told to put the implement away.
DeleteThe next interaction would be as if nothing had happened, since all was forgiven. "Let's go out to lunch," or some such. Very matter-of-fact. You misbehaved, you got punished for it, you promised to improve your behavior. End of story.
KOJ
Dan, could that be a topic? Describe in some detail your wife's demeanor before, during, and after a spanking.
My wife is pretty efficient, too. Probably not 5 minutes in total, but probably 7 to 8.
DeleteYes, that could be a topic. We've done a version of it before, but not in a while.
Here is a direct link to the V.2 DWC Website's "Background Image" that you requested:
ReplyDeleteauntkaysdwc.com/images/backgrounds/tea.jpg
You can simply paste that link into a web-browser, then save that image file to a convenient location on your hard drive.
If you wish to use that image as the background for a webpage (and assuming the image is in the same directory as the "*.html" file for that webpage), this is the most common "style" code :
[style type="text/css"]
[!--
{
background-image: url(../images/backgrounds/tea.jpg);
}
--]
[/style]
NOTE: Replace all "square brackets" with "angled brackets" (that Google will NOT display on these blog pages).
In "old style" html, the coding would be:
[html]
[body background="tea.jpg"]
[h1]Hello World: This is my first webpage[/h1]
[/body]
[/html]
Once again, replace all "square brackets" with appropriate direction "angled brackets" (that Google will refuses to display on these blog pages).
One comment about the severity series: My wife always spanked the top of my thighs and the crease, which stung like the dickens. That severity picture shows no thigh redness like I experienced. I would have to wear boxers to the gym to cover the marks on my thighs. I complained about it once and she said, "Oh, that's part of the bottom" and concentrated the rest of the spanking there. I never complained again.
ReplyDeleteKOJ
Thankfully, it seems never to have occurred to Anne to cover any part of the thighs.
DeleteSome years ago I wrote a spanking story and posted it to an online story board. The imaginary spanking I described included spanking of the thighs as well as the bottom. A woman who liked being spanked for real commented on the story to say that if I ever spanked someone for real, I should limit it to the fleshiest part of the buttocks and exclude the thighs because there is a greater risk of permanent damage to blood vessels in the thighs if the spanking is severe. I don’t know whether that is true, but I took her word for it because she loved being spanked and she also gave spankings professionally. Luckily, KOJ wasn’t harmed by being spanked on the thighs, but I would never suggest to my wife that she spank me there.
DeleteGH
I never had any lasting damage to my upper thighs. Maybe because I have some extra padding there (as well as on my bottom). Smacks on the thighs stung more but didn't mark more.
DeleteKOJ
Rating the physicality severity of a spanking is thought-provoking, as is hearing the various and varied experiences reported. I think of my wife as moderately severe in serious spanking since she doesn’t stop until I stop struggling and she senses surrender to her will. But compared to some of the others so far posting on this topic, many others are spanked harder than I usually am. Some of my spankings are drawn out as she scolds, so I have been over her lap for as long as 15 minutes, but that time is rare. I have never actually timed a spanking (have tried), but my sense is about 3-4 minutes of actual paddling. And probably 75 or fewer actual smacks most of the time. (Dan’s reference to 150 with the bath brush sure would have got my attention) (I think a woman should have to be licensed before using a long-handled bath brush for discipline)
ReplyDeleteTo answer the question directly, Dan posed via the chart, as discipline, I have received spankings that range from four to ten on the graph, with the average spanking probably about 5-6. Now into a third decade in the lifestyle, I have received my share of nines and tens and probably remember everyone in some detail, even those many years ago. I got one earlier this year, but they are not common.
I have learned that the reasons my wife spanks me are complex, and I don’t fully understand them. I know she likes to see marks for a couple of days after but doesn’t like to see it when she observes, “Your ass is a mess” after a particularly severe spanking. She spanks me for the results she wants but doesn’t want to see my ass battered and bruised for over a few days. (usually)
One last thought. I don’t judge the severity of a spanking solely according to the physical effects. Some of my most severe punishments have been moderate-level spankings, deeply embarrassing scolding, and other embarrassments.
I am not denying that a regular regimen of eight, nine, or ten-level spankings is effective. I suspect they are at least as far as managing male behavior. I know when I have been spanked to that level, I have not repeated the behavior (which was always egregious) again, or at least not for a very long time. But for us, at least moderately hard spankings, on average, have worked very well and encouraged her to spank more consistently.
Alan
"(I think a woman should have to be licensed before using a long-handled bath brush for discipline)." That might just make them worse!
DeleteThe problem with the chart for me is that while it might be useful in rating the state of my bottom after spankings I received years ago, now I just don't show much more than what the chart depicts as a 5 or 6, no matter how hard or long the spanking. The chart also doesn't do a great job of depicting bruising or welts, as opposed to just the color level. Pictures would have been more helpful, but I try to stay away from revealing pictures of live people, as I'm convinced that Google is more likely to axe a blog based on pictures showing nudity, especially something like a bruised butt, than for drawings or art.
Dan, while it is interesting to try to measure the hardness of a spanking objectively, maybe a subjective approach is just as meaningful, since the experience of pain is subjective. When I was experiencing some pain in the hospital after my last operation, the nurse asked,”How would you rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 means unbearable?” One person’s 10 could be another person’s 6. There is no way of knowing for sure what another person feels, but a person’s subjective experience is probably most meaningful to a person looking either to relieve pain (like a doctor) or to inflict pain (as discipline). I suppose a highly skilled spanker would be able to take the spankee to their subjective 10 without overshooting, and they would have to be able to read the spankee’s responses accurately and adjust accordingly, since there is no generic answer to the question, “How hard is hard enough?”
DeleteGH
TB wrote: “ The vast majority of my spankings are for disrespect, sarcasm or moodiness. I really want to convince her to punish for specific behaviors rather than an accumulation but seem to be having little success. I'd be interested in others views... TB
ReplyDeleteI brought this up last week as an example of the “tipping point” dynamic that many wives seem to use to decide when to spank—more over an accumulation of issues than one particular issue. Most males seeking DD prefer spanking for a specific cause, but it appears many women actually exercise discipline by the tipping point principle, as in “That’s it: get those pants down! Even when I am spanked for a specific behavior, the lecture usually bleeds over to other offenses. Maybe there is just something about seeing a bared male ass in a vulnerable position that brings forth multiple issues, but whatever it is, I don’t think it is uncommon. More than a few times, I have had my pants taken down for one thing and gotten spanked for another. That’s the tipping point in action
Alan
Alan, the way you explain that makes me realize that my wife is a “tipping point” spanker. GH
DeleteI would say that my wife’s spankings range from 1 to 4 on that scale. I fantasize about harsher spankings, but I don’t know whether I could take a spanking at the upper end of that scale. I guess some people would dismiss spankings at the bottom end of the scale as “play spankings”, but they feel real to me because my wife knows how to make me feel ashamed when she disciplines me. I don’t fear my wife’s spankings, yet I feel strongly motivated to avoid displeasing her.
ReplyDeleteGH
Maybe I should clarify my definition of spanking because some people may be wondering how a “real spanking” could be a 1 on that chart. In my mind, whenever my wife strikes my bottom several times or more, either as punishment or as a warning to behave or to check my attitude, I classify that as a spanking. Thus, a spanking could be a painful encounter with paddle or strap while bent over the end of the bed with my pants down, or it could consist of several admonitory smacks to the seat of my pants, coupled with a verbal warning. My wife has on occasion embarrassed me by doing the latter in public places, though never in front of people we know. The thing that makes a mild admonitory spanking similar to a painful punishment spanking is that they have a similar psychological effect: asserting my wife’s authority and humbling me.
DeleteGH
GH, my "real spankings" are all somewhere in the middle of the chart, but I've had several messages sent on the lighter side. On a couple of occasions, my wife has smacked my clothed bottom in the presence of family. It is done in a joking manner, but I know that it means a real one could happen as soon as we are alone. A more serious approach occurs when we do have some privacy. She will grab a kitchen implement and order me to pull my pants down. She then gives me a couple of firm smacks. It's either said or left unsaid that a real one will be next if I don't adjust my attitude or behavior. It definitely asserts her authority and I feel quite chastened when it's accompanied by a scolding.
DeleteKevin
The difficult emotional experience would be the primary punishment for me. The physical pain is an important element, but I don't look for torture or long-lasting serious discomfort. I'm actually attracted to the idea that it doesn't take brutality to be effective. Knowing that a spanking can adequately discipline is humbling to me if it is within the bounds of a spanking and not a terrible beating. Of course, why wouldn't anyone fear the latter? I take this from spanking growing up, where the responsible parent tended to show some restraint. "You won't sit for a week" was accepted hyperbole, as that would be too debilitating for simple functionality in everyday life. Like I never saw anyone at school who had to stand for their classes. There must also be legitimate measure of the offense, so most punishments do not approach a maximum severity.
ReplyDeleteSo, under that umbrella, how hard is hard? The outcome of a serious spanking looks similar to the drawing of the girl bent in front of the chair with pants at her ankles. The bullseye marks would be smaller and on the lower and safer area of the buttocks. A spanking is painful because it is brisk and unrelenting, and it doesn't take a high number of licks. It would not be possible to count them. The punishment is bad but over quickly. The marks can last for several days or more, but the residual discomfort is not debilitating and, in most cases, barely noticed the next day. This doesn't take into account that if one is spanked on a regular basis, they could become more acclimated, requiring more in order to feel adequately punished.
"This doesn't take into account that if one is spanked on a regular basis, they could become more acclimated, requiring more in order to feel adequately punished."
DeleteI'm not sure how much this really happens with me with respect to pain. I definitely have gotten acclimated where marking is concerned. But, I don't know that I've gotten very acclimated to pain after almost 20 years of this. It's obviously happened to a small extent, based on the fact that if a couple of months goes by without a punishment, it definitely hurts more after that break. But, if the pace is every couple of weeks to once a month, the pain level stays pretty constant, and I don't think it has changed much over the years.
Brett, I am similar to you: to me the emotional experience of being spanked is as important as the physical discomfort, so even a mild admonitory spanking can have a powerful effect. That may be because, compared to many men, I am overly sensitive to feelings of shame and embarrassment. Maybe that is grounded in the shame and embarrassment I felt as a kid when I was spanked on the bare bottom with insufficient concern for my growing sense of modesty with sisters in the house. I think I may also have a lower tolerance for physical pain than most of the guys here. The worst punishment I ever got from my wife consisted of about a dozen licks of the strap, swung with the full force of anger. I found that shockingly painful. It reminded me of traumatizing encounters with my father’s belt when I was a kid. It was also emotionally painful because I knew my wife was angry enough that she wanted to hurt me. The emotional pain was extended because she banished me from the bedroom that night. The next morning I asked her for forgiveness and promised I would never again repeat the behaviour that had angered her, and I have kept that promise to this day.
DeleteGH
I am spanked usually twice a week. I will always receive a spanking on Monday, and usually on Thursday. The severity depends on what infractions have occurred, so obviously, I am kept on a pretty short leash, which is exactly where I need to be. I would say by Dan's scale, I am usually around a 5. We never use heavy instruments or straps, and she is not inclined to use a cane. It seems like many of my fellow spankos on this blog get harder spankings than I do. That said, I do get spanked hard and often. I have tried to gently encourage her to be more demanding and strict, but I don't push it. She has told a few woman friends that she spanks me, but surprisingly, there has been little interest.
ReplyDeleteFascinating that she has told her female friends Norton, but there has been little interest?? Did she tell you that they weren't particularly interested, or are you judging that because none have mentioned it to you? If the latter I can understand that they may not discuss it with you but if the former I'm also really surprised (and a little disappointed).
ReplyDeleteMark, I think you are right that women being discreet about things perceived as sexual is not necessarily a sign of disinterest. My wife tells me that women friends have confided in her about some really intimate details of their marital relationships. She would never let the husbands in question know what their wives have said to her, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t find it interesting. From what my wife has told me about women talking to women, I would bet that some guys who think nobody knows they get spanked are wrong about that. For example, when a husband tells his wife he wants DD and the wife isn’t sure what to think about it, I think many women would ask for the opinion of close friends or sisters to help sort out their feelings about it.
DeleteGH
Disappointed because I like the idea of my wife telling certain of her friends...I would hope that they would be (very) interested.
ReplyDeleteHi Mark. She directly told me that neither one of the friends she told showed much interest or seemed to have any desire to learn more about it. I was also disappointed, and somewhat surprised, to learn that. Awhile ago, there was an entry in this blog about a woman that devised a 5 step scale about testing the interest her friends had about spanking, and my G/F commented how she liked that idea. It seems like most of us like the idea of our wives sharing that they spank their husbands with friends or sisters, but for many of us, that is just a fantasy. To me, the most interesting thing to learn about would be the power dynamic, especially if she had the authority to spank any time.
ReplyDeleteThat was more or less the reaction of one mutual friend who knows about our DD. I think she was interested in the way any real friend is interested to know what is going on in a friend' life. But, was she "interested" interested? No, I don't think so. It just wasn't her thing, and I'd probably react similarly to her kinks, if any.
DeleteFor me how hard is hard does not depend on the colour of my butt. If I'm not in the mood, even 20 hits of wooden spoon is hard and difficult to take. On ther hand when I'm in the mood, 100 can be light.
ReplyDeleteObjectively, my wife is sure that it was very hard when the color is deep purple, or there are some blood spots. Then no discussion- it was very hard. Otherwise she judges on my reactions because my pain tolerance can strongly differ and deoends on my mood.
She always spanks full force without any warm-up, however sometimes she likes to trick me and when I think we're done she says "Ok, end of warm up" This can really be difficult
I guess I should consider myself lucky that she doesn't spank anywhere near as severely as some of the accounts I've read here.
ReplyDeleteThat's not to say they don't hurt , they do but the result is a very red bottom that is scratchy and uncomfortable to sit on for an hour or so after.
No lasting effects after that.
I would say she spanks longer though , about 15 minutes or so , but she pauses to scold and lecture.
I think she likes 'dragging it out' while I find it a long time to be draped naked over her knee.
It's still very embarrassing , painful and effective overall.
An effective spanking doesn't have to be super hard for everyone.
It's got to be hard enough that you want it to stop though.
"I think she likes 'dragging it out' while I find it a long time to be draped naked over her knee."
DeleteFifteen minutes definitely would tax my patience. I think it would also be a long time for Anne to hold me in that position.
I do find it long but it's all about her comfort , not mine .
DeleteShe settles in sitting comfortably and keeps it going until she decides it's done.
Judging by the severity of Anne's spankings you would have no ass left after 15 minutes!
We always start out with OTK, and if it is discipline, there will be little or no warmup. Lately, her shoulder has been bothering her, so after about 5 minutes we move to the bedroom and she will have me on the bed propped up with pillows. She has more freedom of movement, especially using the longer bamboo paddle. She has been spanking me at least once a week for the last 4 years, and has upped her game last year to twice a week. Just this month, she has started spanking longer and harder, with the spankings now lasting from 7 to 10 minutes instead of 5 or 6. I took several videos with the iPad and counted close to 200 yesterday. Taking a video of getting a spanking is something I would recommend. It is impressive and erotic to see her matter of fact determination. More often than not, I have a sore butt, but feel very relaxed and grateful. These days I am unable to have an orgasm as often as before, so it seems much of my sexual energy is channeled into spanking. A good spanking leaves me with a similar feeling as having sex, and is always a very intimate experience for both of us.
DeleteI agree with Dan above that if I’ve gotten spanked a few times a month my bottom seems to know what to expect. However, if there is a lull in DD then the strap my wife uses tends to hurt much more from the first stroke. She favors her leather strap, we somewhat got away from the paddle and she still uses her oak hairbrush. She favors the strap as she feels it drives the point home quickly and with a loud pop. I also agree that the point can be driven home without a long spanking. I have had some shorter ones of 50 to 75, but the last two punishments were in the 200 range. I was also informed I would be getting a thrashing on Tuesday for my misbehavior on Sunday. I think at times based on her scolding, and how I’ve disappointed her, has tremendous impact on the punishment. As far as the friend thing, I’ve brought up that her best friend knows she spanks me. I overheard it on a phone call one day by mistake. Her best friend lives out of state and it’s never bothered me because I don’t have a relationship with her. The comment was “my husband would never do that, because I would beat his ass but good.” She then explained the situation and I think her friend was in shock. I think our wives may have told a few people more than we think about our DD. She would never bring up to family and close friends, but “girl talk” doesn’t surprise me.
ReplyDeleteT
I don’t know how to put a number on it, but the severity generally gets to a point where I can no longer stay still and take it, but have to be held down. The strange thing is that no matter how severe the spanking, I rarely have any residual marking the next day. We have a large number of implements but she rarely uses anything other than a small wooden paddle (bought from the DWC and carrying their logo) and a cane. TG
ReplyDelete"[T]he severity generally gets to a point where I can no longer stay still and take it, but have to be held down. The strange thing is that no matter how severe the spanking, I rarely have any residual marking the next day."
DeleteRe: the residual marking, same here. Though, it wasn't that way the first several years. I haven't had to be held down, but it's been very close.
Sorry I’m so late to this. Lots of work travel and a bout of pneumonia. Putting it out there - I wrote “How I Am Spanked,” and the other story about the cards. BTW, our rules for matching require hitting 2 jokers at least, before a match counts.
ReplyDeleteWe’ve gotten less formulaic. Ann now spanks until I’m sobbing, with or without tears, and my bottom “looks bad enough.”
While we’re pretty much in the camp of every misdeed gets a spanking, sometimes events prevent that. In cases where, for whatever reason we’ve had a big lull, I’ll suggest it’s time to get back on track. I’ll ask her how many times she has thought about or wanted to spank me. I’m in big trouble if she has an answer ready. If she has to stop and think, the answer is usually no more than four. If she has an answer I have been really blowing it during the lull. The minimum I’ve heard is four, the maximum ten. These are taken care of in as short a time as possible. This often means two per day, as we’re trying to reestablish the pattern of spanking as soon after the offense as possible.
Ah. Thanks for letting us know about your authorship. And, sorry about the pneumonia. That can be hard to shake, and work travel certainly doesn't make it any easier.
DeleteThe Moment When?
ReplyDeleteRunning through many posts the last several weeks have been comments about why and when some wives spank as well as several comments about how hard or not hard enough some husbands are spanked. There have also been several posts about spanking style as well as substance.
The one thing that didn’t come up that I saw and doesn’t come up often, if ever, on this blog are posts describing how a husband or boyfriend is about to be punished but agonizes over whether he was going to accept it and cooperate with her -or maybe he didn’t feel like being spanked, and so it didn’t happen.
Let me personalize this to illustrate what I am saying. Most of the time, I do make some attempt to talk her (my wife) out of a spanking or at least try to “plea bargain” it some. Sometimes when I am really not in the mood or feel she is being very unfair I will verbally resist it, pushing that much further than I should
But -and this is the key point- there is never any real doubt in my mind that if she decides to go forward, it is going to happen. It isn’t just having respect for her and her authority; It’s also knowing that she can make me submit to a spanking whether I want it or not. She knows all the buttons to push and knows I can’t indefinitely defy her.
I actually learned about this with my former GF who said to me one day completely outside any spanking scene, “Alan, I can control your bum anytime we are together” And I realized it was true as almost a kind of epiphany, ( We weren’t living together, and I had defied her several times over the phone, so she was still working on that)
With my wife, the training carried over from my former GF, and we started our relationship and then marriage with a DD firmly in place. So there wasn’t “ any ”moment when” because she was in charge probably from the third or fourth date and we both wanted and understood that.
If Dan is ever looking for a topic, this might be interesting to pursue. When did it stop being a game or experiment and start being real and permanent? Or a better question is when did you realize you had left fantasy in the rearview mirror and she really did own your ass --and you weren’t going to do anything about it except to accept what had happened.
If your experience is like mine, you “came under” a while before you realized it. With me, that ah-ha moment was a little shocking, but my former GF was more amused She told me she had known for several months and I was just catching up.
Alan
Alan, you make a great point. I am sure there are times when we do not agree we deserve a spanking or are not in the “mood”. My wife has said to me a few times, “do you want a thrashing” and I’ve changed quickly changed my toon. I promised her, I would never not bend over for a spanking. I have yet to break that promise and the reason for me is simple. I suggested punishment for my misdeeds and for me to defy her would defeat the purpose of DD. I know we all don’t agree with our wives at times. My wife so far has never unjustly punished me. The difference between us is my wife doesn’t feel she owns me or my bum. Our DD is a bit different as I’ve described before. When my wife says you’re getting spanked, I go along with the punishment. The reason is because there are times I should have been thrashed, and she failed to punish me accordingly. She made up for the times I screwed up. I never felt it was a game or experiment for us. We did start with erotic spankings before moving to discipline (obviously my suggestion). I still feel I don’t get punished enough.
DeleteT
Alan, our journey integrating DD in our lives seems is much like yours, except it probably took a lot longer. It has been a slow evolution from erotic spankings to real DD. I have always been very independent and never wanted anyone to tell me what to do. Instead of my G/F knowing she owned my butt, I would say she knows I will always comply when she has decided I need a spanking. I never try to bargain with her. There have been several small epiphany moments when I really embraced the idea of wanting her to keep me in line. Yesterday was a good example of how it works for us. I was getting really frustrated with trying to put something together with her. She said "Let's go in the house" and immediately
Deletebegan setting things up for a spanking. There was no discussion or debate about what was going to happen. My mood shifted immediately from being pissed off at myself to being grateful to her for calming me down. This morning I can still feel the spanking from yesterday.
Alan, I can do that as a topic.
DeleteDan
DeleteThat would be great.
Alan
Unfortunately, there's some possibility it may be next week. I forgot about a couple of big commitments this weekend that may keep me away from the computer, and we're traveling next week.
DeleteI was always afraid that if I resisted that she might lose her confidence and give up her maternal authority that I needed. So I never resisted, even verbally.
DeleteKOJ
Delete“I was always afraid that if I resisted that she might lose her confidence and give up her maternal authority that I needed. So I never resisted, even verbally.”
KOJ, I am like you that way. I might try to make excuses for my behaviour sometimes, but I would never question my wife’s authority to discipline me as she sees fit because I fear that might make her give up on the whole idea of DD. It’s like a feeling that you’re either all in or all out. For that reason your account of the time your wife took you aside and spanked you at a party had a deep effect on me. I asked myself how I would react if my wife decided to do that. I think the embarrassment would be intense, and I would probably want to refuse, but if my wife was adamant, I think I would submit the way you did. Maybe a question related to the question “ how hard is hard?” could be “how embarrassing is embarrassing?” GH
T, KOJ, GH, Norton, Dan, et al
Delete“I was always afraid that if I resisted that she might lose her confidence and give up the maternal authority that I needed. So, I never resisted, even verbally.”
I get this. Although I was not as cooperative right away as all of you seem to be. In fact, I probably delayed my former GF’s full exercise of the authority I asked her to take when I did resist and tried to talk my way out of some well-deserved spankings.
Lucky for me, she stayed with it and eventually found out by herself that she was really “in charge of discipline.” no matter how much I resisted. Her favorite warning became: “Are you challenging my authority”? Which I finally learned I did not want to do.
But I am proposing a slightly different topic/question for Dan to consider for the blog other than when you decided to surrender to her disciplinary authority.
The question I was raising is when did you realize you couldn’t (psychologically) stop a spanking she was determined to administer ( I am leaving as a separate question the perennial consent/non-consent issue we have wrestled with often).
Put directly, when was it that you said or acted in a way that said, “No, I don’t want to be spanked,” and she said just as directly: “But you are going to be spanked, whether you want to be or not” And you were spanked.
That happening to me is the moment that shocked me at the time. And probably was the beginning of a real DD relationship.
Maybe the question doesn’t apply to you because you decided at the beginning to submit to her always to encourage her discipline or because you had been trained earlier never to defy her, and getting spanked when she ordered it happened every time.
But my maiden voyage into DD was more gradual and incremental, and until that “moment,” I realized that I couldn’t really stop a spanking, I labored under the illusion that I could, and I am embarrassed to say I did stop a few. Before that moment and after, it looms as two different time epochs in my disciplinary relationships. Although with my wife much later, the “moment” came very early, something I attribute to the experience I had with my former GF
Alan
Thanks, Alan. I hoped to delve into this as a topic this weekend, but I ran out of weekend. Today was consumed by a family event, and Anne and I leave on a trip tomorrow. So, I think it is a great topic but will need to wait a week to give it it's due.
DeleteI agree, "The Moment" is a great topic to explore, as it addresses the very fundamental roots of real DD. It really is a huge, life altering event, when you truly commit to allowing your partner to punish you at their discretion.
DeleteMy "moment" was at that party where she spanked me. I'll explain when the topic is posted.
DeleteKOJ
KOJ, I look forward to hearing a fuller account of that evert. GH
DeleteAlthough at times resistance is "part of the game", when my wife is serious she stars to count. If I haven't stripped and submitted by zero, I get the worst punnishment and that is, blush, masturbation before the paddle or tawse. I told her long ago that she was the boss, so that's enough consent from me. Even though regret hits my mind as I'm strapped to the bench.
ReplyDeleteAlan wrote: "The question I was raising is when did you realize you couldn’t (psychologically) stop a spanking she was determined to administer"
ReplyDeleteAlan, I recall you and I discussing this a bit in passing a couple of times over the years. I will wait for Dan to open a post discussion on it before I comment further - but it should prove for an interesting discussion. --al
Hi --al,
DeleteIt should be very interesting. Your experiences and progression with DD have always fascinated me because we have shared so many of them. When we decided to confide in my sister-in-law, I encouraged my wife to do it similar to the way your wife orchestrated it, including the early tells and the open door while you were being spanked. That step at a time still seems to be a great way to open up to a potential witness.
But my wife knowing about her sister’s curiosity about DD and general open-mindedness took a more direct approach. Still, if we ever share with another friend, I think how you carried it out is the best way to go. It gives everyone a chance to opt in or out as they choose
Alan