The Club - Meeting 430 - Surrogates

“The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate.” - Douglas Engelbart

 

Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club.  Our weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline or Female Led Relationship.

 

I hope you all had a good week.  Ours began okay but is ending with something that may put our forward progress on disciplinary spankings on pause for a month.

 

Anne had been having some pain in her hand, apparently as a result of too much pickleball.  She saw a doctor about it and, while nothing is broken, they decided it need to be immobilized for four weeks.  So, she’s now in a cast. And, as luck would have it, it’s on her spanking hand.

 

I probably should feel happy about the possibility of going unspanked for a month regardless of behavior.  But, honestly, I don’t.  For the last month or so, I’ve felt like my behavior has been worsening on multiple fronts.  While I knew I wouldn’t like it as it was happening, I also knew that I needed some of those enforced guardrails we discussed here a couple of weeks ago.  I was serious enough about it that I actually gave Anne a journal entry suggesting that she take a less hands-off approach around drinking and also start tightening the screws in other areas. 

 

It looks like now that may not happen.  I am going to suggest that she evaluate whether there is much she can do with her other hand, but the reality is that we may have to take a month off.

 

I was whining about this to Aunt Kay’s husband, Tomy, and he brought up that during its heyday, the wives associated with the Disciplinary Wives Club would have been happy to stand in and lend a hand under similar circumstances.  He also pointed out that it’s quite possible there are couples within easy driving distance who are in female-led disciplinary relationships.  He's probably right.  Hell, for all I know one or more of the commenters on this blog may live near us. 

 

A few weeks ago, I asked the group whether you would be okay with your wives spanking other men. The views were varied and equivocal.  At the time, a few thought the issue of being spanked by another woman was more interesting.  I agreed, but I didn’t want to take it up at the time, because it was clear that the scenario of a wife spanking another man made some of you uncomfortable, which I thought made it well worth exploring.  But, this week, let’s take up the topic of being spanked by another woman.

 

Have any of you been given a disciplinary spanking from another woman while you were in a relationship that included disciplinary spankings?  If so, how did that come about?

 

 If not, do you think it is something you and/or your wife would ever seriously consider?  What if, similar to my situation, an injury or disability interfered with your wife’s ability to discipline you?  Would you look for alternative spankers or just learn to live without disciplinary spankings?  If you did explore alternatives, would the preference be for someone you both know, or would it more likely be a professional?  Would your wife be present when the spanking happened?

 

I honestly don’t know how things would go if our current pause was going to be longer than four weeks.  I’ve always said I could live without disciplinary spankings if necessary, and I’m sure I could. But, I do feel like having someone put those guardrails in place from time to time has benefits for both of us and for our relationship. Still, the impediments would be fairly daunting.

 

First, seeing a pro probably would be the most practical option, but I really have no interest at all in seeing a pro.  It not only doesn’t attract me, but I have an adverse reaction to the idea.

 

Second, I don’t know whether Anne would be at all open to me being spanked by another woman.  She admits to being pretty jealous, far more so than I.  I’m not sure whether she would ever be able to get her mind around another woman taking on her disciplinary role, even temporarily. Though, I also think a lot depends on the exact circumstances.  If she struck up a friendship with another disciplinary wife, I’m not sure where that might lead.  It's always possible that she’d be okay with someone standing in temporarily if it were someone she knew and trusted.

 

Third, regardless of Anne’s openness or lack thereof, it is the case that if there are disciplinary wives living near us, we don’t know it. 

 

Maybe because there are so many practical impediments, and because of the inherently intimate nature of adult spanking, this doesn’t seem to be a scenario that those wired like us contemplate that often.  Among the dozens of stories on the Disciplinary Wives Club website, I think only one, Military Duty Calls, involves a surrogate stepping in during a period when the wife was going to be absent for several months.  In that case, the wife asked her mother to be the surrogate.  For us, family members would be a non-starter.  Anne would never, ever look to her mother for that kind of thing.  She does have a sister, but they don’t get along.

 

 

While I’ve been talking about another woman acting as a surrogate, it is of course possible that such a role could be filled by a man.  In fact, my guess is it would be easier statistically to find a man to fill the role, because there probably are more couples in M/f dynamics. I've also read that disciplinary spankings are somewhat prevalent in the gay community.  

 

As mortified as I probably would be if Anne sent me to a woman to be spanked, I can’t imagine what it would be like to be sent to a man. Given her jealousy issues with other women, it does seem like a male surrogate might be more palatable to her.  

 

It also seems that, while I'm sure I would find it utterly humiliating, my subconscious is okay contemplating it.  I’ve talked here before about a dream I had in which I was taken out of some work-related party or function to be spanked by the male office manager.  In that dream, Anne was present at the function but didn’t go out with me to witness the spanking. Instead, when I balked at doing it, she told me to move along and get what I had coming.  At least in my dream, she had zero problems with someone else spanking me, at least if that someone else was a man.

 

Please let us all know your thoughts about this.

 

 

I also wanted to refer back briefly to Norton’s reference to some written and audio materials he’d seen by a woman named Jacqueline Omerta, called The Psychology of Adult Spanking.  It really is too bad that the audio version seems to have disappeared. I recall one of them very distinctly, in which Ms. Omerta brought a young female client to tears with a long spanking.  Given my own fascination with the prospect of crying from a spanking, it was powerful listening to it. Ms. Omerta claimed to be a licensed therapist, and I did wonder at the time whether using spanking as therapy would be a big “no-no” for that kind of professional licensure.  I assume it would be, which is kind of too bad. I have no doubt that in certain therapeutic settings, particularly marriage counseling, spanking would be a powerful tool in the right hands.

 

I hope you have a good week.