Sunday, September 8, 2019

Club Meeting 311 - Corner Time

“If pain must come, may it come quickly. If [s]he has to make a choice, may [s]he make it now.”  - Paulo Coelho

Hello all. Welcome back to The Disciplinary Couple’s Club.  Our weekly on-line gathering of men and women who are in, or would like to be in, a Domestic Discipline relationship.

I hope you had a great week.  I came into the week exhausted and am now even more so.  Business travel is just draining.  Unfortunately, none of that time in airports and on airplanes yielded inspiration for new blog topics.  So, I throw in the towel and will once again let someone else do my thinking for me.  A couple of weeks ago “a husband who knows” suggested “corner time” as a topic and suggested some sub-topics.  So, let’s do that one.

Do you use corner time as part of your Domestic Discipline routine?  If so, to what purpose?  Is it always done in conjunction with a spanking, or do you ever use it as a stand-alone (no pun intended) form of punishment?  Do you use it to increase the sense of anticipation and dread of the ordeal about to come?


Or, is it an interlude between sessions?


Or, does it typically come after the spanking?  Does she use it as an opportunity to scold or lecture? 
 
How long do your typically leave him in the corner, and what do you do while you keep him waiting? (This particular piece of artwork comes from our friend KD Pierre.)

 
Has she ever taken a phone call while you were standing naked in the corner? If so, how did that make you feel?

If corner time is not part of your domestic discipline routine, is it something you’d like to explore? Why?  What is the appeal, or what is it that you hope it would achieve?

 
For the wives, does corner time serve any special purpose for you?  What is it you hope that it achieves?  Does making him spend time in the corner enforce your feelings of empowerment or dominance?

You can tell this topic isn’t one that captures my interest, as demonstrated by the fact that the last time I devoted a topic to it was back in 2014.  At that time, I noted that we didn’t use corner time.  That changed a little in the last year, partly in response to a comment from one of our Disciplinary Wives.  She noted that she always tries to ensure that each offense gets its own separate spanking session.  Typically, she would break the spanking event into multiple shorter sessions, with corner time in between.  That approach struck me as potentially helpful in making sure that a husband is always better off behaving than not behaving, because I’d be lying if I said there haven’t been times when I knew I already had a spanking coming, so why worry about behaving better if I was going to be spanked regardless?  So, we experimented with a new system in which each offense earned a minimum of five minutes of spanking time (as measured with an hour glass), with five to ten minutes of corner time between each session.  We haven’t really stuck with it, but I do think the approach has merit and Anne told me she does like it.

For me, the positives of corner time are tied to that particular routine and are about ensuring that each offense gets addressed separately and making it less likely that numbness steps in and makes a long spanking easier to take after a while.  But, for me corner time doesn’t really work as an independent form of punishment or as an anticipation builder.  That’s a little surprising, because I tend to be very impatient by nature.  But, I have also been meditating for so many years, that I now find that standing in a corner for very long results in me slipping into more of a meditative state in which, instead of focusing on the upcoming spanking or reflecting on what I could have done to avoid the one I just got, I tend to think about  . . . nothing. 

So, please share the details of your use of corner time, if any.  And, have a great week.

84 comments:

  1. I would occasionally use corner time with Shilo, but my most memorable usage was early in our marriage when he embarrassed me in public. By the time we got home (we were grocery shopping) I had calmed down a little,but I was still angry, and I refuse to hit in anger, so I told him to take off his clothes and stand in the corner. The whole story is HERE but it was probably the longest hour of his life at the time. Sitting was painful for about a week for him and he had a desk job.

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    1. His version is below
      http://merryslavesdiary.blogspot.com/2014/06/june-21-journal.html

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    2. That IS pretty funny that he ran away from home.

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    3. Yes. Just like a stubborn little boy!

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    4. Hahaha. I had read the story before, but never really equated it with a little boy running away from a spanking.

      -ZM

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    5. @ZM
      And yet that's EXACTLY what it was like!

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  2. Yes. On occasion Dev will utilize corner time. I can only recall a few but usually it’s for a serious issue. She will have me stand and think about what’s going to happen. The paddling is given. Then back in the corner for half hour and the second one given. The second one was worse. JR

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    1. A half hour definitely is a substantial wait. I suspect my meditative poise would gave way to my impatient temperament about half-way through that

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  3. My wife uses corner time before and after a spanking. If I do something that earned a spanking she will order me to the corner which means go get naked and wait. She will leave me there sometimes for 5 to 10 minutes and sometimes for as long as a half hour to 45 minutes.

    When she comes into the room she will call me to her side and order me over her knees. At that point she will scold me and make sure I know why I am being spanked. While the scolding is going on she is smacking me with the paddle. When she's done scolding she begins the rapid fire swats with the paddle.

    When she feels I got the point she will order me back to the corner to think about what I did and how I will change my behavior and my apology.

    Sometimes she will make a phone call while I am in the corner or go make a cup of coffee. She has even answered the door while I was in the corner and I'm sure who ever was there could see me but I'm not sure.

    Corner time does give me a chance to reflect on my behavior and when she lets me out of the corner I kneel before her and apologize and promise to do better. Many times she will make me pleasure her orally.

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  4. No corner time in our relationship. Years ago, when we drafted our agreement, we both decided on spanking being the only form of discipline. Spankings are always delivered with me totally nude if at home. If away from home, nude if at all possible, if not at the very least bare butt. Many different implements, positions, length of time, etc, but spankings only. Closest to corner time for us is a period of reflection for me. Discipline spankings have no aftercare, so when the spanking is over, she will leave me alone still in position to reflect on my behavior and the resulting punishment. Following the unspecified time, we will meet and then any after care or forgiveness is taken care of.

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    1. We don't really do "aftercare" either, but she generally just dismisses me after she decides I've had enough.

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  5. This is Arthur, I recently found this blog. Cornertime is not a part of our DD.

    Like Dan, I am an alpha male successful in my career who had no interest in corporal punishment as a youth or young adult. My wife is mostly a mom, with a small business she runs from home. I am the head of the household and we both want it that way.

    But my alpha personality sometimes borders on arrogance and has caused problems at work and especially at home. We adopted DD because I do need some humbling on occasion, as was discussed last week. I will tell the story of how that came about another time. Suffice it to say that being humbled by my wife's spankings has made me a better husband, father, and professional.

    We do not employ other punishments and neither of us wants to expand our DD. My alpha personality would not tolerate being put in a corner. Nor is my wife interested in dominating me that way.
    Arthur

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    1. I'm interested to hear how it came about, because it is interesting that your alpha personality can tolerate being spanked by not being sent to the corner

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    2. This is Arthur. Here is the story. First, spanking was not a big part of my upbringing. My mother spanked me a couple times and I was paddled once in middle school. I had no attraction to it. My wife, however, is from a large family where spankings were frequent. As a young married couple, she liked receiving a light handdpanking from me as part of foreplay. That was it well into our 30s.
      As I pursued a high pressure career, I became more insufferable at home, taking it out on her and the kids. Finally my wife could tolerate it no more and packed up the kids and took them to her mother's. I was shocked and realized something had to change. I went to her mother's to apologize and bring my family home. But my mother in law met me at the door and refused to let me in. "You better get down off your high horse," she said. "If you were my son I would thrash you; I don't care how much of a big shot you are." She then sent me on my way.
      I was devastated. The next day my wife accepted a phone call from me, and two days later she and the kids came home. But she said things had to change or she would leave for good. I told I wanted to change her what her mother had said. "You do deserve a thrashing like momma would give," she said. I told her I would consider it.
      Over the next couple days, we worked out how our DD would go. I opted for a school-style paddling over a desk and with my pants up. I made her a paddle in my woodshop that weekend. Monday morning, after the kids got on the school bus, I bent over in my work suit and took 20 swats. She swung hard and I really felt them. Then she kissed me goodbye as usual and I went off to work. I was very subdued that day, and a much more friendly dad that evening. Everyone noticed, including me.
      Since then I have been paddled every Monday morning to start the week off right, and other times as needed. It has improved our marriage, and I am calmer with the kids and co-workers.
      I feel humbled but not humiliated. She says that the paddle gives her confidence that she can deal with me when I do get on my "high horse."

      Corner time would be humiliating for me. There is no nudity and nothing sexual about my punishments. I still occasionally put my wife over my knee in bed as foreplay.
      Arthur

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    3. Hi Arthur, Thanks for sharing your story - I always find the stories of how couples work their way into a DWC relationship interesting. Yours is actually quite rare in that the wife is very seldom the one to actually suggest a domestic discipline relationship with the use of corporal punishment. Although, it does seem to be a common thread that many wives very quickly come to appreciate the benefits once they give it a try (usually at the husband's request, but obviously not always).

      However, you being an alpha male with arrogant tendencies does seem to be a fairly common scenario in DWC situations. I know that Dan and I as well as well as others here have wrote about similar situations, but I've seen it commonly discussed on the DWC-type forums for a couple of decades now. But perhaps it should not be all that surprising - it does seem like a natural offset for those of us who sometimes struggle not to let our alpha tendencies turn us into jerks. --al

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    4. I agree about alpha males. My wife didn't suggest it. There was a glitch in one of my sentences. I suggested it by telling my wife what her mother said about thrashing me. But my wife readily agreed to it. To her it is not kinky or terribly unusual. She has since told me that there was spanking between her parents, apparently both ways.
      Arthur

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    5. I suspect that spousal discipline, both F/M and M/F, have been more common in American society over the last hundred years or so that most people would guess - and that the Internet has both brought that to light and encouraged the movement even more. The late Aunt Kay's DWC site alone has undoubtedly had a major impact on the prevalence F/M DD .

      But before there even was an Internet, Dorothy Spencer had published her "Spencer Spanking Plan" booklet - a guide to mutual spousal discipline - way back in the 1930's. And it became quite well known at the time. In the plan, either spouse could be spanked by the other for breaking agreed upon rules. She advocated that men be spanked with an implement and that women be hand spanked (bare bottom for both).

      So, although I don't think it was ever "real common", I suspect that it was common enough that I am not surprised when I hear stories like the one you related about your wife being aware that her parents employed spousal corporal discipline. --al

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  6. I asked my wife her view on this subject. She said she found the idea of corner time as part of an adult disciplinary spanking somewhat ridiculous, as it is associated with children. She asked, "Whatever next? Do some people use a naughty step?". Hope nobody is offended by this, but this is what she said. Overall, she would rather our system resembled adult corporal punishment systems (like in Singapore say) than child ones, our relationship being a husband-wife one, not a parent-child one.

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    1. I'm curious, What is a "naughty step?

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    2. Singapore would be an interesting and painful model to emulate

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    3. Well, our relationship is definitely husband-wife the vast majority of the time, but when she punishes me it is very much like a parent punishing a child. I recognize that some wives are turned off by this, but for us it works well, probably because I am a quite masculine guy overall. Friends, co-workers, or people I meet casually like at a party would never expect that I am spanked by my wife. Also, we make most decisions equally, and if anything, she generally defers to me, so again our relationship is not all that unusual except an hour or so here and there.

      Cornertime is a bit humbling, perhaps because it is a childlike punishment. That is precisely WHY we use it, because the resultant embarrassment strengthens the punishment without her having to use excessive physical force. Of course she could punish me much harder physically, but she would have a much harder time with that because she would be concerned about injuring me seriously, and it would force her to have to be brutal or cruel. Maybe it is not easy to humiliate me a bit (or to see it), but it is still much easier than administering excessively harsh punishments.

      As for the Singapore thing, I hope you mean the overall system and approach to corporal punishment, rather than the actual punishments, since judicial canings there frequently or even generally result in permanent scarring. I am expecting that most wives might also not feel very comfortable about doing that either!

      -ZM



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    4. Merry,
      The naughty step is a step on the stairs where a child (or possibly husband) is placed for a time out.
      A husband who knows

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    5. The "naughty step" is a common punishment used by Supernanny.

      ZM, we are not following the Singapore example to the extent of leaving permanent scarring. With a reasonable knowledge of spanking implements, it is reasonably easy to find implements that cause a lot of pain, but little or no damage. I was referring to the overall setup of the system: - my wife says that the intention was for me to be a man, not a boy, so she punishes me as a man (similar to where corporal punishment is used), rather than a boy.

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    6. Thank you To both Anonymous and A husband who knows for the explanation!

      I guess I'm too old to know about this "Supernanny"

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    7. Anonymous, you say "my wife says that the intention was for me to be a man, not a boy, so she punishes me as a man...rather than a boy." I totally get where you (and she) are coming from. I suspect that one of the main objections that wives might have about DD or FLR is "I want to be married to a man, not a boy."

      For my wife it doesn't seem to be a problem, thankfully. She knows I am very much a man, but when necessary she punishes me like a little boy (or little girl or baby) to help me become an even better man.

      -ZM

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    8. My thoughts about this man -boy issue is that usually when a women finds it necessary to use corporal punishment to discipline, it is because an adult male has lapsed into childish or irresponsible behavior . The function of the spanking ( among other things) is to restore her guy to responsible adult behavior. My former girlfriend who introduced me to DD often said she was going to teach that naughty boy in me to behave or obey. Spankings have always worked that way for me,putting the adult back in charge but only after teaching the little boy in me that misbehavior isn't worth it.
      Alan

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  7. My wife considers necessary for me corner time, before, during and after my spanking. This extra punishment would underline their authority and improve my obedience. So I have time to think about my transgressions and to ask them for a sincere apology. Even if it is a childish punishment, then the success is right. After all, my shame is also part of my punishment and education, as I behave as often as a little boy. At the same time, she would never spank me so violently that there would be a danger to my health, because it should serve my education and not degenerate into torture.
             strictpunishedhubby

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  8. I love putting my husband in the corner. Power exchange turns me on, and my authority is more than clear when I march him to the corner and tell him to keep his nose touching the wall until I release him. I like to watch TV or make phone calls while he is in the corner, with his bottom bare and pants around his ankles. Most of our friends and family know I spank him, so if one asks after him on a phone call, I will answer loudly enough for him to hear, "Oh, he's doing corner time right now."

    I use corner time before, during, or after spanking, depending on the situation and my mood. If he is hesitant answering my questions during the spanking, or not apologetic enough afterwards, then he goes to the corner and gets more when I let him out. If he needs a spanking but I am busy, I will put him in the corner to wait for me. Always pants down.

    His obedience is intoxicating.
    The Wife Who Knows

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    1. While we don't really do this, I always think that pants around the ankles is more humbling than full nudity, perhaps because of the restricted movement.

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    2. Wife Who Knows, Would love to chat more about this with you, especially about friends and family knowing hubby is spanked. I have been left in position and had her return to me for more punishment, but not in a corner. Wish we could e-mail each other.

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  9. Not an option for people who live in geodesic domes.

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    1. Everyone needs a woodshed. I have pictures somewhere of the one we had. She kept a chair and a couple of implements in it.

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    2. Oh but what a perfect punishment that would make! Ordering a person to stand in the corner of a round room...........exquisite!

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  10. I always get corner time following a spanking. My wife once said that … corner time is the "exclamation mark of a effective spanking".

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  11. I once had to do 5 minutes in the corner and it was excruciatingly boring. Does not stop me from putting my hubby in the corner for an hour, though. Ha ha!

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  12. Julie in the corner. What a pleasant mind-image.

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  13. Danielle here:

    If I spanked according to my husband’s fantasies, there would be more corner time, but I don’t indulge that part of his fantasy much because in a 24/7 FLR, making him stand in the corner after I have spanked him would be a waste of time during which he could be serving me in some constructive way.

    The closest thing we have to corner time is that when I send him to the bedroom to get ready for a spanking—bent over the end of the bed with his pants around his knees and a folded pillow under his hips to raise his bum—I sometimes let him wait for a while in that position. I guess that’s the equivalent of corner time. Making him wait in such a humiliating position is empowering and amusing, I have to say, but I don’t do it systematically. (He probably likes it when I do. LOL).

    I never assign corner time after a spanking. Occasionally, however, I do something that has a similarly humiliating effect. I have him go back to his housework wearing only a shirt and an apron, but no pants, so his spanked bum is on display while he works. I find that to be a more efficient use of time. But I can understand why women who have disciplinary power but not the full power of FLR might want to extend the punishment with a humiliating stint in the corner.

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    1. That "constructive use of time" makes total sense to me.

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    2. The idea of corner time gives me a thrill, but I would not want to experience it in reality. Too embarrassing for me, but that's the same for real punishment spanking. It's the idea of FLR I like. I would sincerely try to stay out of trouble, and if my HoH didn't know about corner time, or didn't want to use it for whatever reason, no way I'd tell her about the possibility or encourage her. If I did get in trouble, and it was her idea, and she insisted on it, then that's just the way it would have to be whether I liked it or not. That's FLR, where a wife is in charge and leads strictly as she sees fit.

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    3. Hi Danielle, it seems that both of the things you mentioned (having him wait in position and keeping him bare bottomed as he does chores after a spanking) are both serving the same purpose as corner time. They are embarrassing and they keep him focused on the punishment longer than the time he is actually being spanked, giving him time to think. Who says "corner time" has to be in a corner?

      -ZM

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  14. Corner time has never been a part of out disciplinary routine either - the concept does not really appeal to either of us, and my wife does not feel it would be of much disciplinary value (as Danielle put it, I think she views it as a waste of time). I will say, though, that I've always particularly enjoyed one drawing that Dan included in the original post above - the one in which the wife is reading while the husband is standing in the corner (it's one of the oldie goldies in my collection as well).

    After care, per se, is generally not part of our routine either - although occasionally spanking leads directly to sex, always starting with cunnilingus/anilingus. In the "Husband's Essay" article on the DWC site, the author suspects that wives probably get at least a little turned on when delivering a spanking - and I have found this to be true most of the time, even if she does not immediately act on it. --al

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    1. Hi al. That is another reason why corner time is not part of our routine. It is pretty common for us to have sex after a spanking, so a long corner time session would kind of be cutting off her nose to spite her face.

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  15. I'm going to change the subject. I was on here a few months ago talking about how I was trying to get my wife to spank me and asking for suggestions. Well things didn't go as hoped for.

    A couple of months ago we were on vacation and my wife got a text from her boss about work related stuff that I thought could have waited. My wife was messaging one of her coworkers and I became upset at her boss for texting her while on vacation. But my wife thought I was upset with her and things escalated between us.

    This fight happened in the middle of the day with our 5 and 2 year old running around the room. My wife became angry and said you keep talking about spanking what you need is to learn your lesson and picked up a hairbrush and was going to spank me.

    The problem is she was angry and the kids were around and I resisted the spanking because I didn't want her to spank me while angry or around the kids. Part of me wonders though if I had let her spank me if we'd be in a spanking relationship today.

    Since that argument we havent talked about spanking since. I haven't been on here much since I've been frustrated with the situation but thought I'd share it with you. Thanks

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    1. That's unfortunate. I can see why having kids around was an issue for you, and it probably should have been an issue at that age. As for spanking in anger, I personally don't have any problem with my wife showing anger if she thinks I've done something to merit it.

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    2. It sounds to me like you have planted a seed, so now just wait for a while and see if it will spring up. It is good that you haven't been talking about spanking, so she will feel less pressure. Believe me, she has not forgotten that this is something that you want to explore. I believe that given a bit of space and a lot of attention and love, she might very well re-open the topic in the future.

      I agree with Dan that the kids being present made the situation not really suitable. It is better that you nixed it rather than let it happen and then finding out that it left a horrible taste in her mouth.

      -ZM

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    3. The only thing i might suggest is realizing the mixed message you gave her. From her perspective is she now thinking.....well he said he wants it for punishment, then one time when he finally deserves it and I'm going to do what HE told me i should ...he says NO...... I'd suggest you just be honest w her. Some night be romantic w her, maybe a back rub or next time around sex tell you had something you have you've been wanting to tell her for some time.....then tell her how AWESOME you thought her "going there" really was and that you have thought about that moment SO MUCH...let her know it was important to you that she realize what happened...the kids there freaked you out and frankly BE HONEST W YOURSELF, as well as her, that you got SCARED about getting a real ass whooping when she was angry.......then simply admit you love that the seed had been planted to the extent that it came to her in the moment and you just hope you didn't set things back.......you hope she feels comfortable doing the same thing next time but wait till kids aren't around....but then take what you have coming and don't try to orchestrate the spanking she wants to give you!!!! worst case your butt will be crimson and sore for a few days, but guaranteed you won't treat her that way the next time her boss texts...lol

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    4. Seems like good advice, Darren, especially to directly address the mixed messages. Nice to see you posting again! :)

      -ZM

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    5. Hey, THANKS...yeah had something come up and been buried for about a month but digging out.

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  16. Hi Dan,
    Now for this weeks questions…

    We do use cornertime, though as I think about it, we have not used it much recently. This is likely a result of us seeming to always have someone around. While we are getting close to being empty nesters, we are not quite there yet and that is OK. I am sure I will enjoy some of the ease that will come from it being just the two of us, but for now I am trying to enjoy every moment of having our children around since that is changing quickly.

    The purpose of cornertime for us largely depends on when she uses it. If it is before a spanking, then it is primarly to get me focused on the upcoming punishment and the behavior that got me in the corner, as well as to cause a bit of anticipation. When I hear her walking towards me, my heart races. If it is during a punishment, it is generally to allow some time to recover between sets of spankings and to restore some sensitivity to my bottom. If at the end of a spanking, it is usually just time to reflect upon the circumstances around the punishment.

    At least so far, she has never used cornertime without also spanking me. However, one thing that we have talked about several times, but have never done, is using cornertime as a completely silent punishment when we are not alone. Even if there are kids (or others) in the house, there is nothing keeping her from having me standing in the corner in our room, with nobody having even a clue that I am being punished. Even in this case, I doubt that it would ever be used completely by itself, since she uses a lot of alternative punishments that all fit well with cornertime, and are also silent. So, for example, a more likely scenario would be me standing in the corner in our bedroom, perhaps with some combination of soap in my mouth, ginger in my backside, clothespins on my nipples, icy hot on my privates, and/or any other number of painful alternative punishments. Then to end it all, maybe she would send whoever is in the house to the nearby store to buy something, and use the several minutes to give me some quick stripes with her cane, or maybe she would make me sit down on stinging nettles. I know these are all kind of off topic, but are ways that she can use cornertime as a very painful punishment even when we don’t have alone time.

    Corner time lasts anywhere from 5-30 minutes, or maybe longer. During this time, she will occasionally check in on me, and will often use that opportunity to scold a bit, perhaps punctuated with slaps on my bottom. She has never taken a phone call during corner time that I can remember, but she does play on her phone a lot during that time. I expect it would be somewhat more embarrassing for me if she were talking to someone, though it is kind of irrational since they would have no idea. In the same way, if she did something like I was saying above with me being in the corner in our bedroom, it would also be pretty humbling for me, knowing that others were nearby and having fun while I am being punished.

    So I would say cornertime is part of our DD practice, but not a regular or a big part. Maybe that will change going forward, especially as we have a truly empty house.

    -ZM

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    1. It will be interesting to hear how things change as you move into empty nester status. The biggest surprise to me was that things didn't change more than they did, though in our case empty-nesting turned out to be more of an incremental process than an actual event.

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    2. Well, it will be interesting to see, but it will be a while until we are truly full-time empty nesters. Our youngest is in his junior year of high school. However, he typically spends much of the summertime at his grandparents' house so during the summer we at least get a taste of what it will be like when our nest is empty.

      One thing that makes our situation unique is that we live in eastern Europe, so when our kids go to college, at least so far they all have returned to the USA to study. Consequently, while they sometimes come back for a while, it is much more planned (and costly), so they tend to come not very frequently and stay for at least weeks or sometimes months at a time. So when we do transition to an empty nester, it will be for defined blocks of time, with no possibility of them dropping in by surprise.

      I am not sure how much things will change when it does happen. As it is, even though we were alone for much of this summer, we really didn't take advantage of it at all for DD or kinky play or anything like that. We mostly reveled in our freedom and spent a lot of time hanging out. So I would guess that when the transition does happen, at least at first we will just spend a lot of time together as we find and enjoy a new normal. Then after a while we might start to see more change on the DD front, especially as she spends more time with me and becomes more irritated at my habits and behaviors!

      -ZM

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    3. We are in a somewhat different situation, as the kids initially went to college within easy driving distance, so they were free to drop in any time. But, now there is somewhat more time between visits, yet, like with your summer it really didn't seem to change that much on the DD front. But, to be fair, the kids being away more also coincided with me traveling way more for work. So, one interference went down but another went way up.

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  17. Mrs. Lion rarely uses corner time. When she does, she has me sit on my "punishment stool". This is a high stool covered with material from a coir doormat. It is very uncomfortable on my freshly-spanked bottom.

    Offenses are punished by a series of spankings. The minimum is three. They are given one a day until my sentence is over. Should I misbehave before completing the series, she just adds the new sentence to the end of the current one. Right now I have 5 days of spankings. I've completed two. If I stay out of trouble, my weekend will be sore-bottom free.

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    1. A Dominant I knew awhile ago used a punishment stool. The seat was covered with inverted bottle caps. Very tough on a freshly spanked bottom.

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  18. Joe2 here,

    For me, this and last week’s topics are timely. When I placed my first comments on this blog years ago, one of the disciplinary wives suggested corner time. Because I do not like humiliation, I did not like the idea. And time passes and things change.

    Part of my ritual is to prepare the spanking site and implements, give my wife notice that I am ready and then wait for several minutes as she closes out tasks prior to the spanking. During those few minutes of waiting for my wife, I prepare my mind: clear my thoughts, focus on the need for a spanking, etc… . But as is my want, there are times during this waiting period that my brain focuses on the things that are causing the stress that is causing the need for a spanking. So when the spanking begins, my mind is not prepared and I end up spending the first few minutes of the spanking fighting the pain, rather than embracing the pain.

    Several months ago during sequential spankings, my mind would not let go of professional issues and the spankings were much longer than should have been necessary. Seeing a bad trend developing, I revisited my discomfort for corner time. Without telling my wife, I tried corner time in my home office. Varying from 10-15 minutes, I found that the requirement to stay in place and have nowhere to focus but the corner, kept bringing me back to why I was there. I decided that it was humbling, not humiliating, so I asked my wife to place me in corner time prior to a spanking. After explaining my reasoning, she agreed to corner time.

    The first time, it was no more than “go to a corner and wait” and few minutes later the spanking began. The second time was, “No, not that corner. The other corner, so I can easily check on you.” The corner time was much longer than the first time. The third time was, “You need to go pick up your clothes, then go to “your corner” and wait and wait and wait for me.” And wait I did. I am not certain how long it was, but she did several tasks, made a phone call and checked on me several times. By the time the spanking began I was very ready for the spanking. I have to say that corner time is effective for me.

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    1. Oddly, it sounds like your corner time is somewhat similar to mine, in that it is almost meditative and allows you to get some mental separation from your professional issues.

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    2. Joe 2 here,

      Dan I was going to place a comment last week when people started discussing the difference between humility and humiliation, but I thought that my thoughts/explanation would be too off topic. But this week’s topic blended too well to avoid making a comment.

      I am very literal minded. I can talk tolerances and processes, but vocalizing emotions is beyond me; so I depend upon other’s words and explanations. I adopt or plagiarize. Until last week’s discussion occurred, I could not explain why such an outward humiliating act did not feel humiliating.

      On a side note, thank you for spending the time and effort to maintain this blog. All other blogs are “listen to what I did or what I think.” While I do read them, yours is more reflective and allows us to discuss experiences and our unique situations. Oh yeah, I don't feel so off-center, when I read that I am not alone.

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    3. You're welcome. Glad you are enjoying it.

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  19. Corner time has become quite effective for me because my wife has made it so. She expects me to really think about my misbehavior and what caused it ... and to be able to answer questions about it. If the answers are not to her liking, I get spanked and go back in the corner to think some more ... with the actual spanking still to come. It has taken a while for me to learn what she expects of me in the corner. But now I get it. Here is an example:
    She brings me out of the corner and puts me over her knee and gives me a few swats and asks, "Why have you earned this spanking?"
    "I forgot to do the dishes."
    She keeps spanking and says, "That was your misbehavior. But you need to tell my WHY you misbehaved. Now get back in the corner and think about it."
    Back I go. At first I found this confusing. I don't know why I forgot. I just did. But I know that is not going to fly.
    She brings me out and starts spanking again. "Why have you earned this spanking?"
    "I was playing chess online and forgot to do the dishes."
    She keeps spanking.
    "You forgot to do the dishes? I don't think so."
    "I guess I chose not to do the dishes, but subconsciously," I say.
    "You guess?" As the paddle is falling.
    "I chose!"
    "So you admit you made a bad choice. That also is behavior," she says. "Get back in the corner and figure out WHY."
    Now, in the corner with a burning bottom, I actually have to THINK ... about a behavior that I did without thinking! But she has taught me that isn't true. There always is a level of thought to our behavior. So when I go over her knee yet again, I say, "I have earned this spanking because I selfishly put my desire to play online above the chores I have promised to do for our family."
    "Oh good," she says. "Now your spanking can begin."
    A husband who knows

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    1. This technique described by HWK as practiced by his wife is extremely interesting to anyone adopting DD to modify behavior. Merry alluded to the same concept a few weeks ago recalling how she had required Shilo to think about the reason he masturbated without simply punishing him for the act without drilling down to figure out why he was doing it. So simply being punished for neglecting a chore or being disobedient or arrogant or a dozen other things is a superficial swipe at what might be a much deeper underlying problem underlying behavior. It can also be the reason a wife has to repeatedly punish for similar behavior. But if the naughty boy is forced to think about why he is misbehaving and gain insight into it, real change can begin. I get what Dan is saying about forgetting and sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. But with deeply ingrained misbehavior there is likely to be a smoking gun if he confronts it. My former girlfriend used a similar technique to deal with several of my behaviors including losing my temper, throwing tantrums and masturbating without her permission and knowledge. She was not as systematic as Husband who knows reports experiencing but she did creatively use her paddle to get me to open up. It’s a lot more work than simply administering a spanking but it did pay dividends. I am going to show this to my wife and hope we try it. It’s sort of spanking therapy I guess but whatever it is, it works
      Alan

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    2. For us, the journal she asked me to maintain is supposed to serve something close to that purpose -- getting me to tell her what is going on in my head.

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  20. "There always is a level of thought to our behavior." I don't totally agree with that one, at least if by "thought" she means comparing options or thinking about consequences. Back when we took a fairly numbers driven approach to drinking (no more than 2 drinks), there was seldom a point where I weighed the consequences of having beer number three or even thought about the 2-drink limit. It just wouldn't occur to me at all after I started having a fun conversation with someone and they ordered a third round. Similarly, with chores, there have been lots of times that I just flat-out forgot and left something undone. Sometimes, I would even remind myself to do it, then get distracted and move on to something else. Basically, may ass pays the price for my short attention span.

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  21. You choose to have that third drink, and if you think you don't, you're deluding yourself.
    A husband who knows

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    1. I didn't say I don't choose to have a drink. I said I didn't think about the choice or balance the consequences. Judge-y much?

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    2. I'm honestly getting pretty sick and fucking tired of you insinuating I am in "denial" about things I expressly bring up.

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    3. DD certainly hasn't controlled your rudeness. Since you think we are fake, we are glad to post elsewhere. But maybe it is you, who have never interacted with anyone else regarding DD, who are the fake.
      A husband who knows

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  22. Hello
    Dave here new to this blog I'm a lifelong spanko that have spent my life
    Looking for the discipline spankings as a child I was not spanked I describe Mom as a chopper would take a swing once in a while but was never properly spanked but I knew I needed to be taken in hand

    I did not have a spanker in my life but had seen many pro disciplinarians some famous ones to but always found it lacking in reality and severity

    Now I'm in a relationship with a great lady for 5yrs now I told her about my love of spanking and have been spanking
    Her as foreplay she does like it

    For the last 2 weeks I asked her to spank me and we have been playing
    With her learning to use the implements
    And she is still afraid of hurting me

    She is starting to get that I need it hard and she can hit hard but needs to develope a Disciplinarian attitude

    I'm glad she is open to spanking me and think she likes it have not done any corner time

    I'm looking forward to learning more
    I'm teaching her but realize I'm controlling it she can spank but she needs to imbrace taking control every now and again she will give her granddaughters a few slaps on the butt and she takes on a real spanker attitude they don't like it but I do

    I'm sure we will get there it's the need of severity and control and her to learn that spankings a suppose to hurt and when she's done I should be scared of the spanking thanks for great blogging


    Dave wife is Tracey

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    1. That's the way to do it. My now wife and me discussed DD and FLR before we were married. I brought it up because I didn't want to be married again to someone who would have nothing to do with spanking. My wife started out a little slow but boy has she developed her spankings and discipline over the years. There are times I wonder why I wanted her to take charge.

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    2. I think I "wondered" that during every spanking.

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  23. Lol
    Dan
    Thanks for the encouragement the other day we were messing around during commercial break watching the waltons which we watch daily and we went to bedroom I laid on the bed she picked up the heavy strap and she started full force and non stop I was counting in my head by about 15 strokes I was getting scared it was hard at 27 she stopped went to other side of the bed and started again stopped at about 40 the got a belt and walloped me about 20 more times very hard loved the fear of her continuing I have seen many pro Dommes and been told I have a high pain threshold but I find that when spanked hard and slow I can control my mind and tough it out but when it comes hard and fast it's not so easy to do wish she would gave kept going but was to scared to say so :)
    Dave

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  24. Off topic but had a question. I came home today to find a chair in the center of the room. It’s purpose was obvious but I didn’t know what it was about until she decided to “ discuss “ it. Does anyone else’s spouse leave out subtle hints ? JR

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    1. All the time. If I come home and the spanking chair is out I immediately get naked and stand in the corner and wait for my wife to come home. That's what my wife expects.

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  25. Possible topic: Who in your life is most deserving of witnessing you being punished by your wife? And (in some detail) WHY? Or for the ladies: Who do you think is most deserving of witnessing you punish your husband?
    This is hypothetical. It doesn't have to be a person who would ever actually be a witness. This person might not even still be alive. But there is some real reason that they deserve to see husband get his comeuppance.
    A husband who knows

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    1. For me, 90% of the time, my wife is the only one deserving of witnessing me being punished, since my actions (or lack thereof) affect her much more than anyone else. About the only thing that I get punished for that might affect someone else is when I check out women. In those cases, if one happens to notice that I am checking her out and feels uncomfortable, then I guess there might be some satisfaction in seeing me punished for gawking. But the problem is that this is just fodder for fantasies...

      And that is the overall problem I see with this question. We have discussed "others witnessing" many times recently, and even many other topics, such as "humiliation" tend to get pulled around to this theme. For the vast majority of the contributors on this board, nobody else has ever witnessed punishments and never will. Even for those who claim that others have witnessed punishments (outside of a BDSM or spanking party context), I would bet just about anything that most of them are just fantasizing. So for most of us, as you said "this is hypothetical." There is nothing inherently wrong about discussing hypothetical things, but if we do too much of it, all it does is moves us further away from discussion of actual DD/FLR practices and feeds our collective fantasies.

      -ZM

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    2. ZM, agreed. While I don't pretend to be able to figure out what is true and what is fantasy, the fantasies seem to come in waves. When I first started the glog, it was Sean and his endless "mother-in-law" fantasies. This year, it seems to be family bathrooms. While I'm sure some of the examples are real (Bart Stone's story about being spanked by his mother-in-law has a ring of truth to it, and Tomy and Al's DWC remembrances clearly can be trusted), many of them clearly are not. It does get irritating because, as you say, a goal of the blog is discuss "real world" DD relationships, not the quasi-Femdom wanking fodder.

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    3. Dan
      Your blog has several sub menus which you have used for various purposes. Why not establish one for "fiction" stories or just plain fantasies. If I remember Aunt Kay did that and some of the stories were well done - and even had the ring of truth ( a couple)But it might be interesting and even fodder for discussion to read some clearly labeled fantasies . It might even improve the quality of some of them which in general is pretty transparent and endlessly repetitive. Just a thought while I watch my favorite college team get a spanking in prime time.
      Alan

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    4. I wonder whether we have the same favorite team? :-)

      Several years ago, I did have a tab that linked to a section devoted specifically to spanking "stories." I finally killed it because, for whatever reason, it was spam bait. It just became too much work dealing with dozens of spam postings every week. And, unlike some of the very high quality stories on the DWC ("Even More" comes to mind, and I seem to recall its author was our al), most of the stories I got were pretty poorly done. I think the key difference may be that Aunt Kay's stories section weren't anonymous postings but, rather, something that came from people she knew. Though, Tomy can correct me I'm wrong about that.

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    5. To clarify, I do still have the "stories" tab (obviously) and there is still content on it, but I disabled comments. So, it is basically an artifact. I've thought about taking down the other tabs, but haven't gotten around to it. The "private section" doesn't actually lead to anything but a blank page.

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  26. That's an easy one. My mother in law is deceased but I would love her to have seen how I handle her "little boy" She spanked him growing up and he used to consider her the standard in maintaining order and administering effective discipline. He knows better now but I would like her to witness the results I get from a woman she once told him was too timid for him
    Helen

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