We had another poll close recently. It asked, "Does your DD or FLR relationship include enforced chastity or orgasm denial?" Here are the results:
As when I first raised this topic about two years ago, it is one I am going to have to throw to the group and hope they drive the conversation. Chastity, enforced or otherwise, is not part of our relationship and it's something neither of us have had any real interest in pursuing. If anything, we're frustrated at how often work and other commitments and the general busyness of life prevent us from having sex more often. She has also never voiced any concern over any "solo" activity. So, the first time I raised this topic I had absolutely no interest in it, but recognized that others did. In fact, according to the above poll, slightly more than half of those who responded are practicing chastity or orgasm denial in some form or other.
I still have no actual experience regarding this topic, but I have been more open to it recently. Part of the change in attitude is linked to our conscious effort to move our relationship further toward the FLR end of the spectrum as opposed to DD only. If she had an interest in imposing chastity on me, I would try to comply. I also just try to keep an open mind about things that may not appeal to me initially but that seem to do something for other people. In fact, I could characterize the whole service aspect of FLR in that way -- it isn't something that comes naturally to me or that I enjoy per se, but I do see certain benefits to it. Also with respect to chastity in particular, I have explored some books on Tantra, and orgasm denial or "semen retention" is recommended by some Tantra practitioners. So, a few months ago I gave it a try in a very limited way, denying myself any kind of solo sexual activity. The results were mixed. I did feel an initial increase in my level of sexual or erotic energy, but that seemed to taper off pretty quickly. But, it was a very limited experiment and I don't draw any real conclusions from it.
So, let's explore it a bit more. Is enforced chastity or orgasm denial part of your relationship? If so, how does it work? What do you and your partner get out of it? If it's not currently part of your relationship, would you like it to be? If so, why? If it is part of your relationship, which of you asked for or imposed it.
I have also posted a couple of new polls, both going to my never-ending fascination with how we came to be interested in these kind of relationships. These two try to get at whether our need today for rules and structures relates to the extent to which we had those when we were kids. We'll make that the topic of a future discussion once the polls close.
I hope you all have a great New Years! Be safe out there!